Research shows that there are five predictable steps a man goes thru as he becomes addicted to pornography.  I'm not saying that everybody who looks at pornography becomes addicted to it.  However, porn has a powerful effect on men, their relationships and how they view women.  There is some research to indicate that pornography has a higher addiction potential than cocaine and harder to quit than cocaine.  It is believed that's how Ted Bundy got started. When the porn he was addicted to wasn't enough anymore, he tried the real thing — rape, and then murder. When he succeeded, he did it again. And again. Pornography addiction is very serious.

Five stages of addiction

1. Early exposure. Most guys who get addicted to porn start early. They see the stuff when they are very young, and it gets its foot in the door.  The earlier a guy is exposed, the higher the chance for addiction.
2. Addiction. Later comes addiction. You keep coming back to porn. It becomes a regular part of your life. You're hooked. You can't quit.  You convince yourself that porn is normal and that everyone does it.  
3. Escalation. After a while, escalation begins. You start to look for more and more graphic porn. You start using porn that would have disgusted you when you started. Now it excites you.  You start getting into sadism, bondage, bestiality, etc.  You may even start mixing drugs with your porn experiences.  There is a very LARGE connection between cocaine use and sexual addictions.
4. Desensitization. Eventually, you start to become numb. Even the most graphic, degrading porn doesn't excite you anymore. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again but can't find it.   The "highs" that you used to get last such a short time, that they feel almost nonexistent.  
5. Acting out sexually. At this point, many men make a dangerous jump and start acting out sexually. They move from the paper and plastic images of porn to the real world.  They have affairs, one-night stands, multiple sexual encounters, etc.  They may even start to stalk women, unable to differentiate their sexual fantasies from reality.  Finally, they move to committing unwanted sexual activity and are arrested for their behavior.  

Some of you reading this may have already developed an addiction to porn. If you see any of the patterns I've described above in your life, you need to put the brakes on right now. Is porn beginning to control your life? You can't put it down — you keep going back for more? Perhaps you find yourself needing to see increasingly graphic pornography. You're masturbating more and more often. You're starting to take risks or act out physically for sexual thrills. If you see yourself at any point on this progression, you are in serious trouble, and you need to realize it — and get help.

This information is taken from the TROUBLED WITH site of Focus on the Family.  You can find this entry by clicking here.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

"We're gonna put our money into a computer rather than marriage counseling."  This was a statement from a man with a rather troubled marriage.  "I don't think counseling is going to help us any.  We can spend time together in front of the computer and find good resources there."  I looked at his wife and she, in a rather pie-eyed fashion, gave her tacit permission towards her husband's solution to their many marriage troubles.  He proceeded with a rather lengthy story about how a new, more powerful computer, would be the solution not only to their family woes but also the difficulties in his marriage.  "We will gather around the computer as a family and make our computer a place of bonding, we'll become stronger if we invest in that rather than counseling."  I attempted to protest but he had won his wife over to his point of view.  They cancelled their remaining sessions and I never saw them again.

Do you think the computer helped this marriage?  A computer is amoral.  It is neither evil nor good.  It is what is done with the computer that brings in the morality.

I have been able to watch this man's behavior from a distance and unfortunately, his life has fallen apart.  His wife divorced him.  Several things transpired that she could not live with:  1) he used the computer for watching porn, 2) he used the computer to develop relationships with numerous women with whom he had affairs, 3) he was arrested for having sex with a patient, 4) he was also arrested for domestic violence and 5) he lost his medical license.  

The computer also affected his children.  One of his children became addicted to pornography (from the same computer), another was charged with sexual molestation and must now register as a sex offender for the rest of his life, the rest of his children have completely cut him off, wanting nothing to do with him.

I'm not saying that if they had continued in counseling that everything would have been perfect and these problems would not have occurred but I think it is ironic that the very thing he convinced his wife would solve all of their problems seriously contributed to his moral failure and the subsequent behavior of his family.  I'm also not saying that the computer was his main problem.  His main problem (in spite of claiming the name of Christian) was old-fashioned selfishness.  He was not allowing God to transform him.

I'm writing this to you to ask you a few questions:  

Into what are you pouring your time, energy and money?  
Have you convinced yourself that possessions will bring your happiness?  

Or have you invested your life into accountability, honest relationships and seeking God's will for your life?

God is very clear about His will:   It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.  Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

I have heard that this man is now trying to repair the damage he has done and is trying again to live a life that is pleasing to God.  I find that encouraging.

Please pray for him.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

What if you have sex with an inanimate object, like a robot?  A robot that's programmed to respond to your touch, talk to you and to appear to be human?  Would that be acceptable behavior to a loving, holy, just God?

A recent article states that the technology is almost there.  Two researchers from New Zealand claim that they will be revolutionizing the sex industry.  The article reports that "Part of their research involved the hypothetical creation of an Amsterdam sex club called “Yub-Yum,” where robot women create a land rife with “sexual gods and goddesses of different ethnicities, body shapes, ages, languages and sexual features.”  Douglas Hines, the founder of the world's first sex robot company states, "One of the benefits of sex robots is that they remove exploitation of women from the equation, and the sex trade of underage [partners],” Hines added. “Underage women are exploited to meet the desires of others, whereas with the robots, there is no exploitation of anyone.”

What are the implications of such an invention?  Is this the "safe" alternative for men?  Since this is not "real" sex, would God approve of such?  Let's think about this a bit...

1.  Sex with a robot will train the sexual response to someone other than one's spouse.  

2.  This product will not remove exploitation of women.  Sex for hire is hollow. However, it is not as hollow as having sex with  a soulless object.  One will eventually tire of robotic sex in favor of human sex.

3.  To have sex with a robot fashioned after one's desires will reinforce some perversions.  For example, if a man is attracted to children, he can have children robots.  Eventually, this will become unsatisfactory and the man will want to have sex with an actual child.

4.  Jesus, the revolutionary, taught a principle over 2000 years ago that speaks to this.  Jesus said that if you lust, you have committed adultery.  Jesus made it clear that sin, especially sexual sin, needs to be taken care of at the heart level not the behavior level.  Sexual sin starts in the heart.

5.  Paul, the author of a good deal of the New Testament, states that joining yourself with a prostitute is the same as uniting Christ with a prostitute.  The same principle applies for having sex with a robot.  You would be uniting Christ with a robot.

5.  Sexual behavior with inanimate objects is not sex.  Sex is a loving, passionate, committed physical, emotional and spiritual connection between a man and woman who are married to each other.

Whaddyathink?  Sex with a robot?  Not me.  It's too robotic.  I want the real thing.  A loving, committed marriage fashioned according to God's design is much more pleasurable.  And it's good for you.  Research shows that's the best sex.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.