 Many are saying of me, "God will not deliver him." But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.We receive messages about ourselves from the important people in our lives. We internalize these messages and carry them with us, repeating them to ourselves as if they were gospel truth. When the messages are shaming messages then the internal chorus chants "You are not lovable. You are beyond repair. Even God cannot help you." This chorus is a chorus of lies. The psalmist rejects these lies. And we need to begin to reject these lies as well. The Lord is a "shield around me", the psalmist says. A shield protects. It comes between the blows of an enemy and a person's vulnerable places. Most shields are small and can only protect a limited area from attack. But the shield which the Lord provides completely surrounds us. We can let this shield protect us from these attacking messages. The psalmist also says that the Lord "bestows glory on me and lifts up my head". Heavy burdens of shame, neglect and abuse have bowed our heads. The Lord listens, pays attention and cares about us. God's love counters the voices of our internal shame-chorus so that we can lift our heads. God replaces our shame with glory. It is a picture of a ragged, neglected child whose head is bowed and shoulders are bent. A king sees the child and goes to him. The king gently lifts the child's chin until his eyes meet his own smiling eyes. He asks the child to come home and live as royalty with him. The child is loved, honored, protected. You are the child. God lifts your head and bestows glory. God help me to stop listening to lies about you. Help me to stop listening to lies about me. Be a shield around me. Bestow glory. Lift up my head. Amen. Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian RecoveryBE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Sometimes it feels like our hearts are breaking. And sometimes we worry that we will lose our minds. Both our hearts and our minds need protection. When we let go of the defenses that have protected us for so long, and we allow ourselves to be honest and vulnerable, it sometimes feels like we will 'come apart'. In these moments can find courage in God's promise of protection. God's peace can guard our breaking hearts and our troubled minds. Notice that God's guardianship of our heart and mind is 'in Christ Jesus'. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God is 'for' us. God can be trusted to guard us because God cares about us. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God understands the dangers to our hearts and minds. God can be trusted to guard us because God knows from personal experience the dangers we face. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly God's power. God can be trusted to guard our hearts and minds because God has the resources to do what needs to be done. The peace of God is not a 'blissed out' euphoria that helps us minimize or ignore our problems. God's peace does not participate in denial. This peace is not another Novocain, another 'fix' to alter our mood. It is the gentle guard that protects us so that we can face reality. It is the security that comes from knowing that God pays attention, that we are not forgotten, that God is with us, that we are loved. Guard my breaking heart today, Lord. Guard my troubled mind. Let your peace do its work in me, Lord. because I am in danger and I need your protection. Guard me with your peace today. Guard my heart and mind. Amen. Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian Recovery
 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us.Few people will be so overt as to say 'I am without sin'. Self-deceit is rarely that obvious. It often comes masked in socially acceptable and socially rewarded forms of behavior. Perfectionism, for example, is a common expression of self deceit. We try very hard to look good. Sometimes we work so hard to look perfect, ('without sin'), that we nearly convince ourselves that it's true. Then, in the moments when we suddenly remember our human condition, we feel shame and self-contempt. And this often makes us want to work even harder to cover over reality with more layers of self deceit. But self-deceit will never lead to change and growth. Only honesty can bring change. Recovery begins as we face our failures, our wrong-doing, and our self-destructive choices. For people like us, who have tried very, very hard to be very, very good, facing reality can be painful work. The courage to pursue taking an honest inventory of our lives is not possible without some source of compassion and forgiveness that can replace our shame and self contempt. The good news is that God is compassionate and forgiving. God freely, joyfully, completely pardons. Because of this hope, we can look honestly at ourselves. Because we can turn to God and find mercy and pardon, we can make a fearless inventory of our lives. Dear God, I have tried hard. I have tried harder. I have tried my hardest. But it has only led to self-deceit. Help me, God, I need you. I need your compassion to overpower my self contempt. I need your forgiveness to overpower my self condemnation. Rid me of self-deceit, God. And build in me a capacity for honesty. Not so that I can be perfect, but so that I can genuinely change. And, so that I can rejoice in your love for me. Amen Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian RecoveryBE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 All who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it and who hold fast to my covenant - these I will bring to my holy mountain and give them joy in my house of prayer.Rest can lead to joy because it creates a new perspective in us. Rest reminds us that we don't have to be compulsively responsible for the world and everything in it. Rest reminds us that God is in charge. Rest also leads to joy because it leads to a renewed relationship with God. As this text puts it, God promises to lead Sabbath-keepers to his holy mountain. In rest we can be led to a place of joy in God's house of prayer. It is a beautiful image of God rejoicing with people who rest. Rest can also lead to joy because it restores us. It renews and re-energizes us because it allows us to balance our "being" with our "doing". When we cease doing for a time, our senses are opened again to the world around us. We can see life with new gratitude and awe. And gratitude and awe produce joy. Rest frees us to be what we are - creatures. We are creatures who can work and play, give and receive, weep and laugh. Today we can balance our working, giving and weeping with playing, receiving and laughing. Lord, I want to stop doing for a time today. I want to stop and remember that you are God. Help me to experience the freedom and joy of being your creature. Help to keep the Sabbath. Bring me to your holy mountain. Give me joy in your house of prayer. Amen. Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian RecoveryBE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame. Shame does not coexist comfortably with joy. Experiences of shame eat away at the spiritual and emotional foundations on which joy is built. When we are consumed by shame, joy will keep its distance. But shame has a way of getting to us. Our defenses against the clever tactics of shame are not well developed. Jesus is a powerful example to us of how to resist shame and make room for joy. First, Jesus 'scorned' shame. He did not give it a stature which it did not deserve. Experiences of shame did not define who he was. He was not just the sum of the shame he had experienced in life. His identity and person were securely rooted in God. So, he was able to experience shaming experiences without internalizing the shame. Secondly, Jesus had 'joy set before him'. Experiences of shame hurt us. Shame is always hurtful. But we are not entirely defenseless. Jesus drew strength to endure shame from the anticipation of joy. Shame can be better endured if we allow ourselves to remember that God has plans for us that include joy. We are not aimlessly adrift in life, headed nowhere, wanderers in a meaningless maze. On the contrary, every day takes us closer to the fulfillment of God's purposes. Justice and righteousness will reign in the end. Jesus' followers share his conviction that joy, not shame, is God's purpose in creation. Today we can root ourselves in God's love for us. We can scorn the shame. We can remind ourselves that God's plans for us include joy. Help me to scorn shame, Lord. Help me to root myself so completely in you that shame has no power over me. Help me to see the joy you have set before me, Lord. Remind me today of your plans. Help me to draw strength today from the hope that your plans for me include joy. Amen Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian Recovery
 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handled down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.
1 Peter 1:18-19Change is not easy. It is a fierce battle. It can be difficult and discouraging. Change often requires us to challenge the perspectives and rules which have sustained our family system for generations. The 'empty way of life' we are attempting to change was handed down from our parents and their parents before them and their parents before them. In a family committed to the 'don't talk' rule, for example, saying even a simple sentence may require overcoming distracting behaviors or other avoidance behaviors which have been refined over hundreds of years. Talking honestly to a parent or sibling may be breaking family rules that have lasted for generations. The Good News is that we have been redeemed from the empty way of life handed down by our forefathers. Jesus redeemed us so that we can be free from this kind of bondage. We can learn to talk honestly . We can learn to experience our emotions. We can learn to trust genuinely. We can engage in life. We can love and be loved. We live in a battle between the empty way of life passed down to us and the new life that has been provided for us. Living in solidarity with our new life in Christ is a daily struggle, but as we practice this way of life we break the vicious cycle of family dysfunction. Lord, it isn't just me that I am trying to change. I am up against generations of dysfunction. An empty way of life has dominated my family for a long time. It has been passed down to me. No wonder it seems so hard to change. I need your help, Lord. Help me to find hope in your understanding of my struggle. Help me to find hope in your gift of redemption. Amen.
Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian RecoveryBE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. John 8:7It is easy to judge other people. Judgmentalism and blame come naturally to us. Other people's faults and failures are not difficult to identify. Many of us can remember a time in our lives when throwing the first stone was not just easy - it was what we thought good Christians were supposed to do. One of the most dramatic changes which takes place early in the recovery process is an increase in self-awareness. We begin to see patterns in our own lives that need changing. We see our own self destructive tendencies. We see how we have brought pain to others. As these insights dawn on us, we begin to lay down our stones. Of course, as our self-awareness increases, many of us attempt to refocus the blame and judgmentalism from others onto ourselves. We can blame and judge ourselves as ruthlessly as we may once have blamed and judged others. But it's not really progress in recovery to give up throwing stones. . and then start banging our heads against a stone wall. Judgmentalism and blame are not helpful in recovery. What makes recovery possible is when increased self-awareness leads to an increased capacity to experience forgiveness. Gradually we learn to accept forgiveness from God and others. We receive mercy. As a result, we begin to treat ourselves and others with mercy. It is increased self-awareness and the humility which self-awareness makes possible that are the soil in which true community can grow. When we accept ourselves as humans even though we struggle and sometimes fail, we can become far more gentle with ourselves and with others. Lord, you know how quick I have been to throw stones. Thank you for the self awareness that has allowed me to see more clearly that I am not without sin. I know that I am in need of forgiveness. Give me the courage to accept your forgiveness and mercy and in this way begin to live in true community Amen. Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian Recovery
 "I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh."God promises us a heart transplant. God promises to change us. Our stone hearts will be removed and in their place will be put a heart of flesh. A heart of stone is a dead heart. It is closed to honest, intimate relationships. A heart of stone is unmerciful with itself and with others. But we do become attached to our hearts of stone. And we find ourselves fearing God's promised transplant. Our stone hearts have one thing in their favor - they allow us to feel strong and to appear strong to others. A stone heart is a protected heart. It seems invulnerable. You cannot wound a heart of stone. God's offer of a heart transplant is a promise of life. A heart of flesh is alive. Only a flesh heart can feel joy. Only a flesh heart can celebrate. Only a heart of flesh can give and receive love. But, the vulnerability of a heart of flesh scares us. A flesh heart does not seem as well protected as a heart of stone. It can feel joy, but it can also feel pain. You can wound a heart of flesh. God promises to change us. God will remove our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh. I like the safety of my stone heart, Lord. But it is hard, cold, dead. It is a heartless heart, bloodless, lifeless. Remove it from me. I want a heart of flesh, Lord. I want life. But I am afraid. Give me the courage to say 'yes' to your promise of life today. Remove my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. Amen. Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian Recovery
 We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.There is no magical formula for change. But there are some helpful principles. First of all, change happens little by little. As this text puts it, our capacity for trust 'grows more and more' and our ability to love and to receive love 'increases'. These changes, like all of the most important changes in life, do not happen as a one-time event. An important change may require us to make a decision at a certain moment, it also requires a process that takes place over months and years. Second, change is not a race. The change process can not be rushed. We often want to 'hurry it up', but we can't. Change that is real and long-lasting, requires patience and perseverance. When we have been practicing our dysfunctions for decades, we can expect that unlearning them will also take time. Third, change requires that we practice the disciplines of honesty and fellowship. There is no growth unless we find ways to move out of denial and isolation. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to share our struggles and victories with people who will 'always thank God for us' and who will encourage us, affirm us and hold us accountable. Lord, I want my faith to grow. I want my capacity for love to increase. Little by little. One day at a time. That's what I need. Help me to move out of denial, And out of isolation. Help me to do my part to make change possible in my life. Amen. Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian Recovery
 "When I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that the Lord had opened a door for me, I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I said good-by to them and went on to Macedonia." 2 Corinthians 2:12-13 Paul was a missionary writing to a congregation that had mixed feelings about his ministry. Under these circumstances we might reasonably expect him to defend himself. We might expect him to say 'Things are going great! Open doors! Packed stadiums! Now on several continents! Soon on satellite to the whole planet!" But he doesn't say that. He tells the truth. "There was an open door, but I had no peace of mind". Paul chooses to do honest, straight, appropriate, risky self-disclosure. "I was anxious and lonely and it effected my ability to work. I could not minister to others because I was too needy." Paul rejects the 'superstar' or 'hero' model for ministry. "I can't do this alone," he was saying, "I need Titus". Like Paul, we have limits in our work and ministry. God does not ask us to be superheros. We may wish for this out of a deep need for approval, but it is not what God asks of us. Like Paul, we will have open doors that we will not be able to respond to because we are too tired, or too anxious, or too lonely. It is part of the reality of being human. God understands these kinds of limits. Lord, I want to do it all. I want to be a superhero. But I am so limited. Give me the grace to be honest. Give me the courage to admit my loneliness and anxiety. Give me the courage to admit my exhaustion. Give me the grace to be human. Amen. Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan National Association for Christian Recovery
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