Where can porn take you?  I met a man who confessed to me that he digs thru the garbage dump to collect his porn.  

This man belongs to a very conservative sect of Christianity where one does not use electricity.   Because he is so separated from modern culture, I asked him how he became addicted to porn.  His answer was astonishing.  "I was dumping some trash out of a garbage bin and I saw a Playboy in the dump with the centerfold laying open."  He had never seen anything like this.  He had heard about "centerfolds" and was always intrigued but was thankful that those "worldly temptations" were something he never had to deal with.  Nevertheless, He quickly grabbed this magazine and tucked it down his pants.  Later that day, when he was alone, he ogled this picture and found himself extremely attracted to the naked woman.  He started to fantasize about her and then masturbated to her seductive image.

To me, the message was clear but lost on him:   Porn is garbage.  It belongs in the garbage.  It should stay in the garbage.  Garbage in, garbage out.  

What the garbage collector didn't know is that porn is insidious.  Porn never gives up.  It keeps taking and taking, offering false feelings of comfort until you end up doing things that you never imagined.

It didn't take long before centerfolds were no longer satisfying to him.  He started noticing, at the dump while looking for more centerfolds, other pictures.  In these pictures, there were women posing seductively with animals.  These pictures sparked further prurient interests for him.  He started attempting to have sex with his goat.  Over time, he moved on to other animals.  His addiction finally caught up with him when he found himself naked in the pig pen on all fours.  That's when he came to his senses and realized that he really, really, really had a problem.  

He was fortunate, because if he had been caught during these activities, he would have been charged with a crime.  Zoophilia is illegal in many U.S. states.  The medical issues that can occur are numerous.  However, the legal charges and the medical issues are not as severe as the toll that such behavior takes on a man's soul.  

More than zoophilia is the duplicity that this man lived.   He would go to church regularly and then engage in these detestable behaviors at other times.  That's what the sin of porn does.  It causes a man to pretend to be holy.  His energy ends up being consumed by things that weaken him rather than strengthen him. 

You may be thinking, "Porn will never do that to me.   I can control it."  However, let me assure you, porn will win.  It always does.  

Porn is garbage.  It belongs in the garbage.  It should stay in the garbage.  Garbage in, garbage out.  

If you are looking  at porn, stop.  Get rid of your stash.  Tell your pastor about your decision.  Become accountable to a counselor and a men's support group. 

With God's help, you can stop.  


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

It seems to me that some people have more faith in their relationship with God than I do.  I hear people talking about how God does special things for them.  For example, I hear people say, "God made this sunny day just for me.  I prayed that God would let the weather be nice and sunny and dry so that I would have a good day on my birthday."  I think, "Really?  God put in a high pressure system over where you are today just so you could have a good day?"  I then imagine a farmer in the same region praying, "Lord, today, could you make it rain really good?  My crops aren't doing well and they could use the moisture."  So, now we have competing prayers.  How does God know who to listen to?  

I think I figured it out.  God grades us on the number of good things we do.  For example, yesterday I was kind to Karyn, freed a butterfly from a spider's web, petted a kitten and gave a dollar to a man who was homeless. Oh, and don't forget, I was nice to that rude waitperson at the expensive steak house (but he only got an 8% tip because he needed to know that behavior wasn't acceptable).

I feel really good about myself.  Surely, God agrees.  I am one righteous dude.   I am special.  It's me and God and the rest of you can just go to hell.  God listens to me before He listens to anybody else.  After all the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  So, I've been really good, and do lots of good things.  God will listen to my prayer first.  

What I think I'm gonna do is rent myself out to the Indianapolis Colts so that I can pray for them to win.  Why not put God's favor to my financial advantage?  I'll just ask for a tithe of the amount of money that they earn for winning the Super Bowl.  But don't worry, I'll tithe the money I earn for praying for them.  After all, I don't want to get out of favor with God.  

Then I got to thinking....  If that's the way God decides who is righteous, what is the cutoff score?  What if God's rule is that I have to do 5 good things a day for 20 years in a row and I only did 4?  I would have to catch up by doing one good thing a day for the subsequent 10 years. So, that means if I do 36,500 good things, I'm in.  It's just God and me.  But, what if my math is off and I figured out that 36,500 good deeds that was needed was wrong?  What if I forgot about that one day where I was really, really sick and I only did 4 good things that day? I missed God's favor by one good deed!  What am I gonna do?

Well, if the Colts don't win the Super Bowl, I'm gonna be sued for breech of contract. 

You think I'm being sarcastic, don't you?  Well, I hear Christians talk like this all the time.  "I was stranded by the road and God sent a passerby who helped me.  God is sooooo good!"  What about the person who was stranded beside the road and was raped by a passerby?  Is God sooooo good then?    Maybe the rape survivor didn't do as many good things as the other person.  So, we look askance at people when bad things happen to them and say to ourselves, "I wonder what they did to fall out of favor with God."  

I just wonder if all this God is good.  God loves me.  God made the sun shine for me. Talk. Is appropriate for Christians.  

By talking in such a manner, I wonder if we are turning people off to God.  

The God's honest truth is that God doesn't grade, even on the curve.  None is righteous, no not one.  

So, what is the answer?  

You can have two attitudes:  

God, I thank You that I am not like other people 
or
God, be merciful to me, the sinner!

Which prayer do you think God listens to?  

Jesus said, "everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted." 

So, getting back to the original question, "How do you know when you are righteous?"  

I don't think you know when you are righteous.  

But, I think this is true, "If you think you are righteous, you probably ain't."

When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

A new report released by a publication that focuses on institutions of higher learning asserts that universities nationwide are waging war on Jesus by leaving him out of their religion courses.

College Fix says that it conducted a survey of 316 religious courses from 12 universities across the country and found that only three courses centered on the life and teachings of Christ.

“Jesus Christ is – without question – the most influential figure to ever walk the Earth, but professors clearly prefer to offer electives on much more obscure matters,” the publication writes.

“[J]ust because a class is on Christianity does not mean it will give much, if any, consideration or weight to the person of Jesus Christ or his teachings,” researchers stated. He might get a lecture or two, … but many course descriptions on Christianity classes don’t even include the word ‘Jesus’ at all…”

Those who conducted the study said that there are also notable differences in how Christianity is analyzed compared to other religions. They explained that words such as “understanding” are using for courses relating to Islam, but the phrase “critical analysis,” for example, is used in class outlines surrounding Christianity.

They explains that, in comparison to the three courses that did center on Jesus, there were also two classes on witchcraft and shamanism, three on sex and religion, five on mysticism and twelve on women and religion. College Fix also outlines that some of the course titles were so obscure that it had no idea what kind of material would be discussed.

“University of Colorado at Denver’s 40-plus religious studies classes include ‘whores and saints,’ ‘theories of the universe,’ ‘Freudian and Jungian perspectives in dream analysis,’ and ‘spirituality and the modern world,’” it writes. “No electives focused exclusively on Jesus, however.”

“Arizona State University’s 50 religious studies classes run the gamut from ‘anthropology of material culture’ and ‘ritual, symbol and myth’ to ‘what is religion’ and ‘gender and peace.’ Again, no Jesus electives,” the publication continues. “In fact, the only religion class at Arizona State focused exclusively on Christianity is called ‘lost scriptures/lost Christianities,’ and zeros in on the ‘wide diversity of early Christianity and its suppressed and lost texts, which have been found in modern times.’ But rest assured, the campus offers four classes on Islam and two on Stalinism.”

It states that although three of the classes centered on Jesus, other historical — or even non-existent — figures headlined course electives as well, such as Mohammed, Martin Buber and “The Brothers Karamozov.”

Additionally, College Fix said that the three classes that were focused on the life of Christ apparently all dealt with what others have to say about Him, not who Jesus said He was or what He taught.

“Take Georgia State University at Atlanta’s ‘Jesus Inside and Outside the Gospels’ course,’” the publication said. “It’s a ‘comparative study of portrayals of Jesus as they have evolved over the past two millennia … and visual depictions of Jesus in modern media such as film, television and the internet.’”

“The University of Hawaii’s ‘Life and Teachings of Jesus’ class is a ‘critical study’ of Gospels and of extra-Biblical sources,” it continued. “And the survey’s third and final elective solely devoted to Jesus comes from Butler University in Indiana. Called ‘Historical Jesus,’ it offers a ;close look at Jesus of Nazareth, focused on sources and methods of knowledge about Jesus as a historical figure. Attention will also be paid to historical and cultural context, and to beliefs about and depictions of Jesus in early Christian literature.’”

At the end of the study, researchers concluded that there is an outright hatred for Christ on the vast majority of college and university campuses nationwide.

“[I]f this survey highlights anything, it’s that [students are] not even given the option [to study the words of Christ],” they stated. “Meanwhile the classes that do focus on Jesus or Christianity sidestep his message and teachings in favor of historical context and critical analysis.”

“Bottom line,” they declared, “universities across America show an outright disregard and disdain for Jesus Christ.”

For the original post, click here.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

I’ve been reading much on blogs and other sites that we are heading toward persecution here in the West.  As our society grows more and more tolerant of sin, they will begin to turn their hatred toward anyone who preaches against sin or who cries that their view is the only true truth such as Jesus being the only way to God (John 14:6) or even that Jesus is the only true God (1 Timothy 6:15-16).  Postmodernism loves tolerance (so long as you agree with them on what is right) and embraces ambiguity as a virtue.  Thus our culture adores anyone who claims that they embrace mystery (such as emergents) above truth or who teaches that they we all are accepted by God no matter what our lifestyle or what god we worship or don’t worship.  Our culture will indeed lash out at anyone who claims absolute truth such as true disciples of Jesus (John 17:17) or who claim that salvation comes only through Jesus Christ or even the fact that we need a Savior is offensive to them (Romans 3:10-18).

Yet I am convinced that Satan doesn’t care about the church that meets and doesn’t seek to preach the gospel both to the church and to the lost.  Satan doesn’t care that you meet in a house with other disciples so long as you do nothing in the process.  He doesn’t care that you read your Bible.  He doesn’t care that you claim Christianity.  Satan will only begin to attack when you begin to step out of your comfort zone and begin to seek to glorify God through faithful evangelism and praise to Jesus’ name openly and without shame (Acts 4:29-31).  The church that just meets, sings a few songs, talks about Jesus, prays a little, and goes home is not what causes havoc in the kingdom of darkness.  It is those disciples of Jesus who follow Him daily and seek to engage our world with His gospel whom Satan despises and will attack.

The good thing about entering these dark days is that the true Church will arise.  Those who have been playing games with faith, not truly saved by the Lord, and those living in sin will be exposed.  A time of separation is coming.  True disciples of Jesus need not fear (John 16:33).  We know from God’s Word that true disciples will face persecution (2 Timothy 3:12; 1 Peter 4:12-19).  We know that God is faithful to those who remain steadfast in Him (Revelation 2:10).  Our lives do not matter.  Only eternity matters (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).  Even now prepare yourself to embrace Jesus as your everything being willing to lay all down for Him and His glory (Luke 9:23-25).  Do not dread but rejoice because our God is the one true and living God and He will reign forever and ever!

This post is written by the Seeking Disciple.  You can view his original post here: 
http://arminiantoday.com/2012/11/18/satan-doesnt-mind-you-if-you-remain-comfortable/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

While He was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, suddenly arrived. A large mob, with swords and clubs, was with him from the chief priests and elders of the people. His betrayer had given them a sign: “The One I kiss, He’s the One; arrest Him!”   So he went right up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.   “Friend,” Jesus asked him, “why have you come?” Then they came up, took hold of Jesus, and arrested Him.   At that moment one of those with Jesus reached out his hand and drew his sword. He struck the high priest’s slave and cut off his ear.  Then Jesus told him, “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up a sword will perish by a sword.   Or do you think that I cannot call on My Father, and He will provide Me at once with more than 12 legions of angels?  How, then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”

Watch TV and you’ll hear the Name of God the Father and God the Son mocked, used in vain, used to curse, and many other ways that deny the holiness, beauty, majesty, power, glory, and wonder of who He is.  Watch movies and listen to music and you’ll find the same things.  In fact, go out into the marketplace and you’ll hear these same abuses of the beautiful Name of our Savior.  And yet, short of boycotting some products or writing letters/emails or phoning TV stations or sending petitions, you’ll not really see any other visible demonstration of outrage from Christians.

And yet, throughout the world we see angry people causing all manner of evil due to the denigration of the name of their prophet.  What’s the difference?  Why don’t Christians burn down things when Jesus is mocked?  Just a few thoughts…

1. There is coming a day when Jesus will make all things right and all who were mockers of His Name will bow at His Name and confess He is Lord.  There is a sense in which I don’t have to defend the honor of Jesus’ Name…He’s quite capable of defending Himself, thank you.  And on that day when every tongue confesses that Jesus is Lord to the glory of God the Father, the mockers will be put to shame for eternity.  I might be angry for a day.  The wrath of God will be poured out for eternity.

2. When the Name of Jesus is mocked, every Christian should remember that s/he once mocked Jesus, too.  We were all by nature children of wrath fully deserving the full wrath of God.  And yet our God showed us mercy and grace through His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.  While fully responsible for actions, we were acting in ignorance according to our natures.  But when God said, “Let there be light” in our hearts, we saw for the first time the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.  We then saw our sin for what it was and the beauty of Christ for who He is and we repented and trusted in the finished work of Jesus to save us.  So, instead of burning things up when others mock Jesus, we show patience knowing the Savior was patient with us.

3. Which leads us to the work we should do now.  Instead of burning things up, we warn and plead with those who mock the Savior to repent of their sin and turn to Christ.  If we truly love Christ, we will love making much of Him to sinners knowing He came to save sinners.  Because we have been forgiven much, we will want others to know of the beauty of His grace poured out on sinners.  We will warn these mockers of the fire of hell which will never die out.  The work we do isn’t to defend the honor of His Name but to herald His Name as we seek reconciliation between God and man through the preaching of the gospel.

4.  All of this reminds us that Jesus is the living, resurrected Lord.  Jesus continues to be at work even today, right now.  The Holy Spirit works through us as we make much of Jesus who is risen from the dead.  We have a story to tell.  Jesus is coming again and will make all things right.  We don’t have to defend the honor of a dead man…He’s alive!

I pray that those who feel the need to defend the name and honor of a dead man will see the glory of the true and living Lord who has made a way of escape from the wrath of God through His death and resurrection.  Let us pray that their blinded eyes will be opened to the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life who is the only way to the true Father of all.

This post is from Mike Lee.  The original post can be found here:  http://mikelee1963.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/why-we-dont-burn-down-things-when-jesus-is-mocked/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

As I was tucking my 10 year old princess into bed the other night, a question just kind of fell out amongst the pink blankets and snuggly kisses.

“Anna, what makes God happy with you?”

This was way easier than that science test we had just studied for. After all, she’s a pastor’s kid. A fourth generation follower of Christ. I expected her to nail it.
“When I try hard.”

What? Maybe she’s too tired. Brain shutting down. My 13 year old will get this. So I wandered through the dimly lit hallway into the next room over and posed the same question to my favorite oldest daughter.

“Emma, what makes God happy with you?”

I sat back waiting to be blown away by her youthful wisdom and insight.

“When I get it right.”

Man oh man! Where are they getting this stuff? Maybe there’s a problem with the teacher and not the student? Is this the Gospel I’ve unfolded for them?

I’ve got three kids for a reason, and .300 is a pretty good batting average. So I moved with hope to my son’s room where I found him buried beneath a pile of stuffed animals. Make daddy proud, little man!

“Austin, what makes God happy with you?”

Come on son, you got this! No whammies!

 ”When I do everything I’m told.”

I was shocked. Saddened. Where would my kids have embraced this concept of reward-and-consequence affection? That morality and trying harder were the keys to God’s pleasure? That striving was the way to win God’s heart?

I’m pretty sure they got it from me.

Because that’s what I model. The lie that quietly seeps into my spirit. The default I revert to.

The message of the Gospel is so counter-intuitive to us. That God would give. That grace is free.That sin is paid for. Where’s the transaction? The effort? The pay scale?

What makes God happy is when we give up these self-righteous attempts to find the answers inside ourselves (try harder, get it right, do everything I’m told) and simply turn towards Him. That’s called repentance – a turning away from self and a turning toward God. It’s the realization you could never try hard enough, get it right enough, or obey enough to please the Holy Creator of the Universe. You can’t, so God did.

He smiles when you stop banking on your futile efforts and start embracing His accomplishments.

Jesus.

That’s what makes God happy. Remind yourself. You forget.

“If you’re a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don’t call your wages a gift. But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it’s something only God can do, and you trust him to do it–you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked–well, that trusting-in-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift.”

-Romans 4:4-5 MSG

This post is from Erik Cooper.  You can find the original post with comments here:  http://beyondtherisk.com/2012/08/30/what-makes-god-happy-with-you/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

We need to experience loving relationships in order to heal and grow. In loving relationships we experience the safety that allows us to face the truth. In loving relationships we experience the support we need to begin to change. And in loving relationships we learn that we are lovable and valuable.

Because we have been wounded in relationships, our instinct is often to run from relationships. We don't want to be hurt again. This leaves an enormous void in our souls. And it is this void which we desperately try to fill with addictions and compulsions of various kinds. This text focuses on two manifestations of religious addiction (compulsive altruism and religiously motivated self-abuse) and sums up the result: I gain nothing. The same could be said of all of our addictions. "I deliver my body to be burned" and "I gain nothing" are an accurate description not only of a particular kind of religious addiction but also of chemial addiction, work addiction, sexual addiction and relationship addiction, as well as many self-abusive compulsions.

We gain nothing for all the time and effort we spend on trying to numb the pain. It does not achieve the desired result. 


The void remains.

Although loving fellowship may be frightening for us, it is the path to recovery. The vulnerabilities of intimacy may remind us of earlier times of terror in life, but there is no way to recover in isolation. The net result of compulsions and addictions is "I gain nothing." But the net result of recovery is very different. There is something to be gained by all the hard work that recovery requires. Recovery builds in us a capacity to receive love and a capacity to give love to others. 

And that is a real gain.

May God grant you the courage you need today to pursue loving fellowship.

Lord, you see my guarded heart. 
You see the fears that make me run from love.
What I fear is what I want most.
I want to love and to be loved.
Give me courage to open my heart to love today.
Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

The Church in my parts was shocked to learn recently that a brother who has been trained by a prominent evangelism group to the point that he was flying to California to participate in helping train others how to share the gospel with the lost and he was often found in various local churches teaching people how to share their faith, he was arrested for sexual molestation of various women in his practice and was found guilty by the court and sent to prison leaving behind a devastated wife and young children to take care of themselves.  At first, we thought the allegations were nothing but the enemy of our souls rising up against a strong brother who was seeking to preach the gospel to the lost.  This man would pass out tracts, preach on the streets, and would be found sharing Jesus in almost any place he went.  To this man, soul winning was a natural part of his life and he believed that disciples of Jesus should preach the gospel at all times.

And yet he fell.

I don’t know his heart today.  I personally did not know the man but only through mutual friends did I know about him.  I don’t know his heart nor whether today he is seeking the Lord.  I pray that he is.  This post is not about this man but simply about keeping Jesus as our focus and not anything or anyone else.  Jesus, not prayer, not the Church, not soul winning, not Bible reading, not memorizing Scripture, not giving money – Jesus alone is our salvation.  We must always keep that in mind.  Arminianism does not save.  Calvinism does not save.  Lutheranism does not save.  The Restoration movement does not save.  The Baptist church does not save.  Nothing saves but Jesus alone (Acts 4:12).

Our heart should be Philippians 3:8-11 where Paul the Apostle wrote,

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

Our salvation, our righteousness, our hope – all this comes from Jesus Christ alone.  It doesn’t come from being an evangelist or a preacher or an intercessor.  Salvation is in the person of Jesus and not anything or anyone else.  We must stay close to Him.  We must make Him our ambition, our delight, and our passion.

Perhaps this man above stopped doing this.  Perhaps he stopped loving our  Lord Jesus.  He got busy with “the ministry” and he forgot to love Jesus.  He forgot how to sit at the Lord’s feet and learn from Him.  So busy with life.  So busy with teaching people how to share Jesus yet he didn’t really love Jesus anymore or maybe he was simply too busy to sit and glean from the Lord.  I don’t know.  Only God knows.

I only want to love Jesus.  I know that apart from Him, I have no salvation (John 15:1-11).  Jesus is my only cure for this sin that abides in me (Romans 6:23).  The Lord Jesus alone bore my sins and died for me (John 5:24).  Jesus alone is the one who is able to cleanse me from sin (1 John 1:7).  Jesus is my faithful high priest who prays for me (Hebrews 7:25) as I abide in Him through faith.

Are you too busy to meet with Jesus and love Him a while?  He is our salvation.  He is our righteousness (1 Corinthians 1:30).  He is the one that we should adore and love.  The Father delights in us when we love His Son (1 John 5:1).  Don’t be robbed of spending much time with Jesus and learning from Him.  Stop and sit at His feet and praise Him for what He has done in saving us.  Don’t get too busy that you miss the pleasure of being close to your Savior.  This alone will keep you saved from the power of sin (1 John 3:7).

This is a guest post written by my friend, Seeking Disciple.  To go to the original post complete with comments, go to: 

http://arminiantoday.com/2012/06/30/even-soul-winning-is-no-safeguard-for-salvation/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

I was fortunate to spend some alone time with my parents for a couple of days before our most recent family reunion started.  Even though my Dad is hard of hearing, and is difficult to communicate with, at 89 years of age, he is still teaching me about life.

While driving together, he told me about the financial decisions that he had recently made and how thru his acumen, he has been able to also sell and buy a few  vehicles for a profit.  One car he sold because he was sideswiped by a semi-truck.  In the middle of the conversation, he said, "God is really good to us.  We could have been killed by that truck.  If I had been a second slower we might not be here.  Also, by being sensitive to God's leading in the selling and buying of the vehicles, everyone got a fair deal."

The next morning, we were trimming the pecan tree that was in the back.  He had been waiting for me to visit so that he could get this job done.  The tree had overgrown the house and was hanging into the neighbor's yard.  We worked steadily for a couple of hours, hardly talking to each other.  Yet, there is something about a father and a son working together that builds upon intimacy.  We paused a couple of times to sit down and drink some water together (it was in 90 degree sunny weather).  We didn't talk about much, mostly the tree and how the squirrels steal the pecans and how he got a new BB  gun so that he could scare them away.  

The third thing he taught me was that his love for God is still alive and vibrant after all these years.  I love to hear my Dad pray.  He doesn't use a lot of flowery words or Elizabethan English.  He usually doesn't pray very long (however, I have been privy to some of the times when I heard him and my Mom pray for extended periods of time).  Yet, almost every prayer recognizes God's authority, our dependence on Him and a sincere thankfulness for God's provision.  

So, you may be reading this and think, "wow, I haven't told my Dad recently about how much I appreciate his influence in my life."  

If that is you, let him know.

Or you may be thinking, "I wish my Dad was like that."  

If that is you, rise to the challenge and be that kind of Dad for your kids.  

If you don't have kids, find a single mother of a young boy in your church and invest your life into his spiritual, emotional, physical growth.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Today we are concluding our discussion of bad boys with the Chaotic Religious Bad Boy.   This man has had repeated false starts and failures in his life.  He may also have impulsivity in various parts of his life: spending, sex, gambling, substance abuse, shoplifting, overeating  or intentionally punishing himself.  He will often have outbursts of intense anger and frequent episodes of a lack of control.

He has a severe identity problem.  He may have turbulent shorts of mood ranging from depression to anxiety to irritability and rage.  These moods may last from a few hours to a few days with a quick return to a seemingly normal mood.  He is intolerant of being alone and frantically tries to find someone to be with so that he will not be depressed.  He thinks of his life as being chronically empty and boring.

In church, he will have many people to whom he frantically appeals.  There may be from two to twenty people who are seeking to "help" him.  He is a topic of frequent conversation among these people, talking about his latest episodes of terror:  self-multilation, suicidal gestures, accidents, or fights.  Church for this bad boy is not about intimacy with God.  Rather, church is a place where there are numerous people who protect him from being alone.  When he becomes frantic about being alone, several people in the congregation will be called in rapid succession.

How can the church help the Chaotic Religious Bad Boy?

The whole church can become emotionally exhausted after several crises.  The spiritual dilemma of caring for these men is knowing how to be a steadfast, sustaining person and at the same time maintain realistic but considerate limits on his demanding nature.  

Therefore, a quiet, patient, persistent quest to help them know the mind and purpose of God in his life, sustained and enriched by the assurance that he is a beloved Child of God, who has a meaning, a purpose, a place, and a loving use for his, is the overall strategy in the church's care of him.

The church needs to be a steadfast community of faith questing with him for growth in his emotional and spiritual life.  We need to be a community of encouragement and celebration with him as he gets his life together in God's presence.

Many thanks to the deceased Dr. Oates from whom much of this information is taken.  His seminal work Behind the Masks should be read by those in positions of leadership in the church.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.