A local woman's life took a turn for the worse when she encountered an escort service.
The couple who ran the escort service took her in, and the man became her pimp.
At first, he offered protection and fed her drug habit. He groomed her with a dream of money and security. She sold sex at ritzy parties and rode in flashy cars around the Puget Sound region.
Eventually, the pimp brainwashed her into submission and ruled every aspect of her life. He collected all of her earnings and kept track of her whereabouts at all times via cellphone.
If she failed to earn a daily quota of $1,500, she was beaten and humiliated. He would urinate on her. He whipped her with an electrical cord.
"That was his way of showing me this is just the beginning of what will happen," said the woman, who requested anonymity for this story out of fear the pimp could retaliate. "I was more afraid of the pimp than the johns."
The pimp found customers (known as johns) through the internet, Craigslist and alt-weekly papers. Her earnings paid for a house in SeaTac for the pimp and his wife. Thousands of dollars in tricks paid for hotel rooms around the Puget Sound region, including Federal Way and the infamous Aurora Avenue in Seattle. She also worked to pay back the cost of those ads, or pay back bail money if she went to jail.
The johns hailed from all walks of life. Some johns reviewed her services online. Johns would ask for particular kind of girls, which was useful information for pimps.
"I had wigs," she said. "Sometimes they'd say, 'I want a blonde.'"
In a typical transaction, the prostitute took care of business with a john while the pimp waited in an adjacent hotel room to collect the money and monitor the time.
The lifestyle left the woman with no choice but to hustle for more money, or face the wrath of her pimp. She recruited other women into the lifestyle to shoulder some of the workload when johns were seeking services at the same time. Several sessions with johns doubled as drug deals. Pimps pressured women to exploit naive customers with blackmail, for example, such as threatening to tell a john's wife unless he paid hush money.
In total, she had eight prostitution arrests on her record, including an undercover bust in Federal Way. Abused as a child, she was walking Pacific Highway in search of paying customers by age 15. Drugs like heroin became a way to numb herself and cope with the streets, where she had sex to survive.
"I had to be high," she said. "I had to feel nothing."
In a twist of fate, a heroin overdose inadvertently marked the turning point in reclaiming her life. While she was hospitalized, the pimp was jailed after a violent spree in search of her.
She formed relationships with people who empowered her. Now in her mid-thirties, she is no longer a victim, but a survivor. She is married. She lives clean and sober with a career in the mental health field. She regained custody of her three children from foster care, and now helps other mothers in similar situations. She hopes to see more reforms in the child welfare system to ensure that youth avoid these abusive relationships.
"My thanks goes to God for sending a man who was a defender of women," she said, referring to Nick Lembo, who with his wife, Jo, provided a support outlet through Overcomer Covenant Church in Auburn.
"The more eyes and ears on the ground," said Jo Lembo, "the smaller a pimp's world gets."
Ending demand
A grass-roots movement is under way to end the demand for prostitution, which is tangled in a web of pornography and cultural attitudes.
Prostitution has shifted away from the typical streetwalkers. Nowadays, johns arrange meetings online. Federal Way Police Chief Brian Wilson said officers can put an ad on Craigslist, meet with a potential john and make an arrest, all in a span of two hours.
In 2012, there were 12 prostitution-related investigations in Federal Way, Wilson said, with nine of those initiated by police and one involving a 15-year-old girl.
"It's much more underground now," Wilson said during a forum on human trafficking Jan. 9 at City Hall. "This is not a Federal Way issue. It's a regional issue."
According to the former prostitute whose story was told above, the deck is stacked against police. An officer must witness a transaction before making an arrest. When police arrest one prostitute, her pimp will find a replacement and take business to another part of the region.
"There's not much the police can do," said the woman, suggesting a solution for ending demand: spread awareness among youth.
One place to start is by reshaping the perceptions young men have toward women. Some argue the negative influence of pornography on the male sexual identity, including the accompanying message of objectifying women leads to the creation of unrealistic expectations from sex.
While there is nothing wrong with sex, young men need to be educated on how to use and understand it, according to Nick Lembo from Defenders and Shared Hope International.
"Sex is the most powerful stimulant and bonding agent on the planet," he said at the Federal Way forum. "We need to teach men to respect, honor and understand women and build wholesome relationships."
Peter Qualliotine, co-founder of Organization for Prostitution Survivors, said a boy's average age of exposure to pornography is 9. Prostitution and pornography are inseparable, he said at the Federal Way forum, and "one does not exist without the other."
The key to overcoming this obstacle, he said, is to teach young men to eroticize the mutual and consensual parts of sex, instead of the objectified images found in porn.
This post was written by Andy Hobbs. For the original article, go to: http://www.federalwaymirror.com/news/187019821.htmlBE HOLY.BE A MAN.
Unlike an alcoholic who can abstain and maintain sobriety, the sexual addict has to face the fact of his sexuality. Celibacy does not resolve the problem. Hence, the question emerges for addicts as to how they determine when their sexual behavior is addictive.
The following formula is suggested as a guideline. Signs of compulsive sexuality are when the behavior can be described using the SAFE acronym:
1. It is a SECRET. Anything that cannot pass public scrutiny will create the shame of a double life.
2. It is ABUSIVE to self or others. Anything that is exploitive or harmful to others or degrades oneself will activate the addictive system.
3. It is used to avoid or is a source of painful FEELINGS. If sexuality is used to alter moods or results in painful mood shifts, it is clearly part of the addictive process. Also, if sexuality is used to avoid the pleasurable feelings of monogamy , there is trouble.
4. It is EMPTY of a caring, committed relationship. Fundamental to the whole concept of addiction and recovery is the healthy dimension of human relationships. Marriage takes a lot of work. There are ups and downs in marriage, that is part of what makes a long-term marriage satisfying. There is a great shared history. If the addict avoids the work of commitment, he runs a huge risk of being sexual outside of marriage.
If the SAFE acronym applies to you, I urge you to get help.
This material is taken from the book Out of the Shadows (pg 189).
BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.
Research shows that there are five predictable steps a man goes thru as he becomes addicted to pornography. I'm not saying that everybody who looks at pornography becomes addicted to it. However, porn has a powerful effect on men, their relationships and how they view women. There is some research to indicate that pornography has a higher addiction potential than cocaine and harder to quit than cocaine. It is believed that's how Ted Bundy got started. When the porn he was addicted to wasn't enough anymore, he tried the real thing — rape, and then murder. When he succeeded, he did it again. And again. Pornography addiction is very serious.
Five stages of addiction- Early exposure. Most guys who get addicted to porn start early. They see the stuff when they are very young, and it gets its foot in the door. The earlier a guy is exposed, the higher the chance for addiction.
- Addiction. Later comes addiction. You keep coming back to porn. It becomes a regular part of your life. You're hooked. You can't quit. You convince yourself that porn is normal and that everyone does it.
- Escalation. After a while, escalation begins. You start to look for more and more graphic porn. You start using porn that would have disgusted you when you started. Now it excites you. You start getting into sadism, bondage,bestiality, etc. You may even start mixing drugs with your porn experiences. There is a very LARGE connection between cocaine use and sexual addictions.
- Desensitization. Eventually, you start to become numb. Even the most graphic, degrading porn doesn't excite you anymore. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again but can't find it. The "highs" that you used to get last such a short time, that they feel almost nonexistent.
- Acting out sexually. At this point, many men make a dangerous jump and start acting out sexually. They move from the paper and plastic images of porn to the real world. They have affairs, one-night stands, multiple sexual encounters, etc. They may even start to stalk women, unable to differentiate their sexual fantasies from reality. Finally, they move to committing unwanted sexual activity and are arrested for their behavior.
Some of you reading this may have already developed an addiction to porn. If you see any of the patterns I've described above in your life, you need to put the brakes on right now. Is porn beginning to control your life? You can't put it down — you keep going back for more? Perhaps you find yourself needing to see increasingly graphic pornography. You're masturbating more and more often. You're starting to take risks or act out physically for sexual thrills. If you see yourself at any point on this progression, you are in serious trouble, and you need to realize it — and get help.
This information is taken from the TROUBLED WITH site of Focus on the Family. You can find this entry by clicking here.
BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.
His parents were blind-sided by the phone call. Even though they’d noticed their son’s grades had slipped, they blamed it on entering high school. He was a quiet kid, staying in his room when he was home. He’d lost interest in youth group, but since they were still able to get him to church most weeks they let it slide. Nothing outward seemed all that different, so when the principal told them to come to the school immediately, they thought there’d been a mistake.
Their son was part of an underground porn cartel in his school. Distributing pornographic DVDs had become a thriving business—but it had been a one-way street to a mind-consuming obsession for their ninth-grade boy. They’d been unwittingly raising a porn addict. The confiscated discs were beyond reprehensible.
The parents felt a mixture of shame, uncertainty, and fear that “normal” wouldn’t ever return. Their fears would prove to be well founded. For their son, getting busted was the best thing that could happen. He wanted his old life back. But breaking out of his mind’s porn prison wasn’t something that anyone in that principal’s office knew how to help him do.
Parents take note: This is just one kid in one school in one town in America. There are thousands and thousands of others. They just haven’t been caught.
Porn re-wires our brain circuits and can become as addictive as narcotics. It creates neural pathways that seek gratification through graphic images. Porn often contains scenes of sexual exploitation, domination, and rape, warping minds in ways that others can’t always see, but often emerge in abusive relationships.
Porn obsession is like many other hard-core addictions. Recovering porn addicts often relapse just like drug addicts. Those neural pathways have to be re-wired, but sadly nothing erases those images—ever. One learns to mentally change the channel, but to tell someone they’ll ever be the same is an unfair expectation.
And many don’t seek treatment. Porn addicts continue to live dual lives—seemingly keeping school or jobs separate from their sexual deviancy. It begins with porn images, but thousands of sex crime victims are a tragic testimony to porn’s evil end.
President of Morality in Media, Patrick Trueman reports, “Child-on-child sex abuse and rape is a growing problem in every culture where pornography flourishes.”
Younger and younger kids are becoming abusers and its victims. Parents need to warn their kids about porn just like they do with drugs, alcohol, or premarital sex. Sadly, porn is far easier to get—as close as a neighbor, or a friend’s school locker.
Crime statistics tell a story and it doesn’t have a happy ending for our society. Morality in Media’s Patrick Trueman said it best: “The world is suffering an untreated pandemic of harm from pornography and children are suffering the most.”
America, it’s time to really see porn for what it is—a road to hell.
This post was written by K Farris. For the original post, go to: http://m.blogs.christianpost.com/friday-tidings/youthful-porn-addicts-15551/BE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 We were visiting Amsterdam, exploring shops and the canals. At one shop on the canal there were the most beautiful flowers you have ever seen. It was a wonderful day. Everything was perfect. We were walking hand-in-hand enjoying Amsterdam. Kinda like two kids at a zoo. Excitement. Fun. Happiness.
The next thing I know, Karyn says, "don't look right." So, I put my right hand up to block my view. Then she said, "don't look left." So, I put up my left hand to block my view. So, now, I am walking down this street on this beautiful day looking like a horse with blinders. I said, "what's going on?" Karyn said, "we've stumbled into the Red Light District." I dropped my hands and looked around and yep, she was right. There were some windows with scantily clad women beckoning us to come in. We promptly turned around and left that street.
You ask, "how in the world didn't you know that you were entering the most famous Red Light District in the world?" Well, it was still bright out, even though we didn't realize the sun was starting to descend. If it had been dark, we would have seen the red lights warning us that we had wandered into "adult" territory.
So, what does this story tell us about temptation?
Well, I was certainly glad that I had my wife with me. She saw things up ahead that I hadn't noticed. She loves me and wants to protect our marriage. So, if you are doing something new, something you have never done before, it would be good to not be alone. Because you never know what is on that street.
The person you take with you needs to be committed to holiness and purity. S/he needs to be able to stop you when you start to go somewhere you shouldn't be going. Because you never know what is on that street.
Temptation sneaks up on you when you least suspect. We were having a great time. Exploring Amsterdam, enjoying the sunshine and building memories. Then, boom! There it is. Right in front of you. Sometimes, we are lulled into complacency or feeling really good and then we are blindsided. Temptation can come from anywhere. You know why?
Because you never know what is on that street.
BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.
 Pornography is instant gratification while relationships take time, effort, and investment. Of course, we do live in an "on demand" culture so what's wrong with instant? Instant requires no long-term commitments, no patience, and no sustained effort. It's just there when you want it. Instant works with iced tea, right? Why not sex? The truth is that while "instant gratification" has its appeal, it will never replace or hold up to the satisfaction of a healthy sex life in the context of a loving and committed marriage. Here are a few reasons why:
First, porn is a hamburger (not even a quarter pounder) while healthy marital sex is a fillet. Porn is quick, fast, and offers no lasting satisfaction. When you get done your "quality time" with your tissue box do you ever say, "That was amazing ... I'm totally satisfied!" The answer is probably not. I'd guess it's more like, "That did the job but I wish I would have found a better scene or held out just a little bit longer before I fired off the ol' rocket." I'm not going to tell you that every time you have sex with your wife it will be "the best ever" but if your sex life is healthy it should be satisfying. Why? Because it's more about intimacy versus a quick hit. Sex with my wife gives me a sense of appreciation from her that a computer screen can't ever offer. It is an incredible bonding experience physically, mentally and spiritually. Porn may be instant but the satisfaction it offers pales in comparison to the enjoyment I get from sex with my wife.
Second, porn offers no companionship. A healthy marital sex life not only gives spouses pleasure but it gives them a sense of companionship. When you get done with your porn what do you have? I mean besides some guilt, shame & a small mess to clean up. Porn doesn't ask you how your day was. It doesn't want or care to hear about what you think or feel. Porn will never come along side of you when facing hardship and say, "It's OK … we'll do this together." Porn quite frankly doesn't give a crap about you or your life; it's there whether you want it or not and the only thing it cares about is the money it generates. It may sound strange, but I'm very thankful that when I get older and less "viral" that I will still have an amazing companion who's also my lover. When you are 70 walking down the beach porn won't be there to hold your hand and see the sunset, your spouse will be. Porn may be easy but it doesn't offer anything lasting like loving companionship.
Third, porn is isolating while marital sex is a joint venture. Most people are social creatures by nature. We rather enjoy life’s moments with others instead of by ourselves. Would you rather go to a football game by yourself or with some friends that you can high five when your team scores (btw, why do we do that? It’s not like we had anything to do with it)? Hardly anyone says, “Hey I’m going to grab a beer after work … please don’t join me!” When we go out to eat it’s always better with someone even if it is our crazy uncle because at least we don’t have to sit at a table alone while the wait staff stares at us with puppy dog eyes because we look lonely and pathetic. Likewise, sex with your spouse is a shared experience. You are enjoying it with each other … not just by yourself. Porn however is not like this. You don’t hear guys saying, “Hey after work let’s all go back to my house, watch some porn and masturbate!” Porn is a very lonely and isolating experience. It’s just you, your computer, a bottle of lotion and some paper products. There is no shared enjoyment whatsoever; no conversation about how good the sex was and what you liked the best (unless you talk to your computer – that’s a whole different issue). Why settle for the isolation of a porn fueled masturbation session when you can experience sex with a spouse who’s mutually enjoying the experience? Again, porn may be quick and easy but it’s a solo venture.
These are just three reasons why healthy sex in the context of a committed and loving relationship trumps the instant gratification that comes with porn and masturbation. Maybe you don’t care about these things. Maybe you like it just being you in front of a computer screen with your pants around your ankles. That is your choice. However, I assure you that in the long run porn will never completely satisfy nor will it offer any long term benefits. It’s fast food sex that comes with no happy meal. You can do better!
This post was written by Carl Thomas. For the original post with comments, go to: http://www.xxxchurch.com/men/quote-quentin-crisp.html
BE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 When it comes to Christians and newlywed sex, there are usually two extremes.
For some couples, they head toward the altar with the expectation that they will find themselves soon lost in ecstasy and passion—a reward from God for staying pure until marriage. For others, the idea of sex carries a lot of anxiety and fear—as he or she tries to figure out what messages of sex are “real” between the portrayal we see in culture, the Church’s teaching, and one’s future spouse’s expectations. To add to this, the reality is that 80 percent of unmarried Christians ages 18 to 29 have already had—or are having—sex, as reports indicate.
As with most extremes, there is some truth to these for some couples. However, the majority tend to find themselves somewhere in the middle.
This was the case for us personally as our first few times were a little awkward. Three days into our honeymoon we found ourselves in Barnes and Noble trying to find a book to help us figure things out in the bedroom. We’d read a number of Christian books about sex prior to getting married, and they were very helpful in terms of the theological and relational aspect of sex, but not so helpful on the supremely practical “how to” aspect—and more specifically, how to do it well and mutually enjoy it.
Our honeymoon was eight years ago now, and you might say we’ve learned a lot since then. But looking back to the very beginning, here are four things we think every couple should known before their wedding night:
1. Expect to be sexually incompatible at first. One of the common arguments used in favor of sleeping together outside of marriage is the importance of sexually compatibility. But in reality, compatibility isn’t something that can be tested out in a trial run. Rather it’s something that you build together through shared sexual experience.
Just like anything you want to get good at, sex takes practice. You don’t expect to just pick up a guitar for the first time and play Mumford & Sons covers, so why would you expect electrifying compatibility right off the bat?
Sexual incompatibility is a simple fact of every marriage when it first starts out (especially if you are both virgins), but all that really means is that you can now enjoy the process of learning with each other. That is the beauty a life-long commitment to marriage brings: lots of time to practice, practice, practice. And in this context, practice can actually be quite fun. The more you both learn about how your bodies’ work and what you both like, the better sex will be for both of you.
2. Take your time. Amidst the hormones and the excitement of your first time together, it is far better to go slow and take your time. For most women, it is normal for sex to be a little painful and uncomfortable at first. And this, for some, can change the pace of honeymoon intimacy. As great as some marriage books and pre-marital counseling can be, this is one of the reasons it’s good to also consult a gynecologist before the wedding. And a word for men—go slow and be understanding.
3. Your sex life will have ups and downs just like anything else. For every couple, it is normal to have ups and downs in your sex life. You will have some stretches when sex couldn't be better. You’ll have mutually satisfying, pure-fun sex—and you’ll have it multiple times a day. Then you’ll have some stretches where the rest of life has left you fried, and keeping things going in the bedroom will take some work.
Stress, work deadlines, housework, busy schedules, pregnancy, kids, financial issues, health issues and any other thing you can think of that is normal in life all affect our sex drives. When you hit a down period, rather than taking this as a sign of a waning relationship, take it as a sign you need to be more intentional. You might even “schedule” sex for a season. Very romantic. It might mean intentionally talking about what you both want or what you could try that is different or new. Or, in some cases it might mean seeing a counselor to work through some things that may be hindering things in the bedroom.
Expect to have both high spells and dry spells. When you do hit a rough patch, please know that you are not broken or weird because of it. And know that if you commit to working through it together, good things will likely be right around the corner.
4. Sex depicted in the movies leave some things out—including one very important thing we tend to overlook. When it comes to sex in the movies, there are lots of things that the writers leave out when putting together their scripts. Like when your sweater gets stuck over your head, or shoe laces become an impossible puzzle. Or the ever-romantic moment when you have to stop to think about birth control. Or how about when one of you is ready to go while the other just isn’t quite feeling in the mood.
With all of these off-script possibilities—some comical, some quite frustrating—learning how to laugh and not take things too personally is important for your sex life. And again, the more you practice, the less these fumbles will tend to happen.
But there’s another thing sex on the big screen will never show you. James Bond can get with another girl every night, and sure, it might seem like it’s amazing every time. But it will never be able to depict one thing—and that’s the indescribable depth of intimacy between a husband and wife. You may be able to capture the physical connection on the screen, but portraying the emotional and spiritual connection—the real, genuine thing—can't be conveyed in a movie.
Within a marriage though, there is nothing that compares with the level of intimacy, depth and power that sex has within a life-long committed relationship. In marriage, good sex is even more than just sex. It’s about cultivating the exclusive, deep connection you have together and enjoying the passion and fun that comes with figuring it all out along the way.This post is reprinted from Relevant Magazine. For the original post, go to: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/what-we-wish-we-knew-about-sex-we-were-marriedBE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 As a young boy, Paul Christiano loved the world of girls — the way they danced, how their spindly bodies tumbled in gymnastics.
In adolescence, as other boys ogled classmates, he was troubled to find himself fantasizing about 7- to 11-year-olds.
His desires remained stuck in time as he neared adulthood. Despite a stable home life in suburban Chicago, he was tortured by urges he knew could land him in prison."For having these feelings, I was destined to become a monster," he said. "I was terrified."
In 1999, Christiano was caught buying child pornography. Now 36, he said he has never molested a child, but after five years of state-ordered therapy, the attraction remains.
"These people felt they could snuff out the desire, or shame me into denying it existed," he said. "But it's as intrinsic as the next person's heterosexuality."
In the laboratory, researchers are coming to the same conclusion.
Like many forms of sexual deviance, pedophilia once was thought to stem from psychological influences early in life. Now, many experts view it as a sexual orientation as immutable as heterosexuality or homosexuality. It is a deep-rooted predisposition — limited almost entirely to men — that becomes clear during puberty and does not change.
The best estimates are that between 1% and 5% of men are pedophiles, meaning that they have a dominant attraction to prepubescent children.
Not all pedophiles molest children. Nor are all child molesters pedophiles. Studies show that about half of all molesters are not sexually attracted to their victims. They often have personality disorders or violent streaks, and their victims are typically family members.
By contrast, pedophiles tend to think of children as romantic partners and look beyond immediate relatives. They include chronic abusers familiar from the headlines — Catholic priests, coaches and generations of Boy Scout leaders.
Other pedophiles are "good people who are struggling," said Dr. Fred Berlin, a psychiatrist who heads the Johns Hopkins Sexual Behaviors Consultation Unit. "They're tortured souls fighting like heck not to do this. We do virtually nothing in terms of reaching out to these folks. We drive it underground."
Studying criminals
Some of the new understanding of pedophilia comes from studies done on convicted sex criminals at the Center for Mental Health and Addiction in Toronto, where researchers use a procedure known as phallometry to identify men whose peak attraction is to children.
A man sits alone in a room viewing a series of images and listening to descriptions of various sexual acts with adults and children, male and female, while wearing a device that monitors blood flow to his penis.Like men attracted to adults, nearly all pedophiles respond most strongly to one gender or the other — females far more often than males.
In searching for causes of pedophilia, researchers have largely dismissed the popular belief that abuse in childhood plays an important role. Studies show that few victims grow up to be abusers, and only about a third of offenders say they were molested.
Scientists at the Toronto center have uncovered a series of associations that suggest pedophilia has biological roots.
Among the most compelling findings is that 30% of pedophiles are left-handed or ambidextrous, triple the general rate. Because hand dominance is established through some combination of genetics and the environment of the womb, scientists see that association as a powerful indicator that something is different about pedophiles at birth.
"The only explanation is a physiological one," said James Cantor, a leader of the research.
Researchers have also determined that pedophiles are nearly an inch shorter on average than non-pedophiles and lag behind the average IQ by 10 points — discoveries that are consistent with developmental problems, whether before birth or in childhood.
In a 2008 study, Cantor's team conducted MRI brain scans on 65 pedophiles. Compared with men with criminal histories but no sex offenses, they had less white matter, the connective circuitry of the brain.
The evidence also points to what Cantor explained as "cross wiring": Seeing a child sets off the same neural response that men typically experience around an attractive woman.
More evidence of brain involvement comes from scattered examples of men with brain tumors or neurological diseases affecting inhibition.
In one case, a 40-year-old teacher in Virginia with no history of sexual deviance suddenly became interested in child pornography and was arrested for molesting his prepubescent stepdaughter.
The night before his sentencing, he showed up at an emergency room with a bad headache. An MRI revealed a tumor compressing his brain's right frontal lobe.
When the tumor was removed, his obsession faded, according to Dr. Russell Swerdlow, a neurologist on the case. A year later he again became sexually fixated on children. The tumor was growing back.This post was written by Alan Zarembo of the Los Angeles Times. For the original post, go to: http://articles.latimes.com/2013/jan/14/local/la-me-pedophiles-20130115BE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 They [teachers] warn that the increased availability of pornography on the internet is warping school pupils’ ideas of sexual relationships and that children are often engaging in sexual behaviour on school premises.
Teacher leaders now believe the problem has become so significant that they want new policies to be drawn up on how to deal with the issue.
They are particularly concerned about the practice of “sexting” – which sees young girls being pressurised into taking intimate pictures or videos of themselves on a camera phone and sending them to others.
They are also asking for the introduction of new lessons on the dangers posed by pornography.
Helen Porter, a biology teacher who will raise a motion about the impact of pornography on pupils at the Association of Teachers and Lecturers annual conference next week, said: “Sexual activity in school is becoming more normalised because pupils are seeing it more. I’ve heard of a 13 year old girl taking part in an amateur porn video – it is really sickening. Research has found that 50 per cent of youngsters had taken part in some sort of webcam sexual experience.”
Official figures show that more than 3,000 pupils were excluded from state schools in 2010-2011 for sexual misconduct.
Recent research from Plymouth University also revealed that 80 per cent of young people are looking at sexual images online on a regular basis. The average age to start viewing pornography was about 11 or 12 while sexting was considered almost routine for many 13-14 year olds.
The academics warned that schoolchildren were becoming desensitised to sexual images after accessing hard core material.
The NSPCC has also reported a rise in the number of children being referred to its service centres across the country with “harmful sexual behaviour”.
Current sex education guidance, however, contains no reference to pornography or “sexting”, although the Department for Education is reviewing its content.
Mrs Porter said that easy access to pornography was changing the way young girls view their own bodies with some even wanting cosmetic surgery to achieve “unrealistic” body shapes.
“In many schools, pornography is never mentioned. But it needs to be,” said Mrs Porter. “If it is discussed children might begin to think about the damaging effects and they might realise that most of what they see is not what normally occurs between people.”
The charity Kidscape is calling for an automatic ban on adult content on the internet that would require adults who wanted to see it to “opt in”.
Peter Bradley, a spokesman for the charity, said: “Young people can access hard-core pornography 24 hours a day, seven days a week and they are doing so.”For the original post, go to: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/9934792/Pornography-online-is-warping-childrens-minds-teachers-warn.html
BE HOLY.BE A MAN.
 - Own up to your lust and admit it is a problem that needs to be controlled. Don't excuse it. Don't rationalize it away. Just be honest with yourself.
- Don't feed your lust. Cut out anything in your life that feeds it. Don't dwell on thoughts that foster it. Dispose of all sources of stimulation that provoke your lustfulness.
- Develop alternative diversionary strategies. Find a hobby or activity that you can turn to when your feelings of lust become overwhelming.
- Change your beliefs about sexual lust. Remind yourself that pictures are only pictures, not people, and that you don't have a right to take anyone you desire to bed with you in your imagination.
- Observe how others who have allowed their lust to go too far have fallen and learn your lesson from their failures, not your own. Prevention is better than cure.
- Try to find the underlying reason for your lust, beyond just blaming it on your "strong sex drive." Lots of men have a strong drive, but are not dominated by lust. Were you love-deprived as a child? Sexually abused/dominated? Getting these repressed reasons out into the light can help free you from their hidden power.
- If you cannot bring your lust under control, get professional help.
Adapted from The Sexual Man: Masculinity without guilt
BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.
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