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Training your sexual response

2/18/2013

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In many ways, humans are like animals.  Any dog trainer can tell you that the majority of a trained dog's behavior with its master is simply a matter of training the dog to respond to certain cues.  

The male sexual response is similar. I know a young man who really loved his dog and enjoyed spending time with her.  At times, he would look out the window and masturbate while watching his dog play in the backyard.  Over time, he unknowingly trained his sexual response to his dog.  When he would see his dog, he would get an erection.  I won't go further, because you know where this young man's behavior ended up getting him into trouble if you've read my posts about The Garbage Collector.

The same is true for pornography.  If you look at pornography, you will end up training your sexual response to lascivious pictures.  If you lust over the cheerleaders during the Super Bowl and then masturbate to their images, you will respond to those images.   Thinking about and masturbating to thoughts and images of someone who is not your wife will lead to problems in your sexual response to your wife and to your soul.  Jesus clearly taught this principle, that lusting after a woman is committing adultery.  

So, if you have trained your sexual response to someone/something other that your wife, there is hope.  The first thing you need to do is starve your eyes.  No longer look at pornography, no longer look lustfully at other women.  Get rid of your porn.  Change channels when the cheerleaders come on and when that Victoria's Secret commercial comes on.  When you check into a motel on business, tell them to block all the pay channels on your TV.  Learn to anticipate temptation.  Be proactive rather than reactive.  Next, you must train your mind to be obedient to Christ.  Pray this verse every time you find your mind wandering , "brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."   Tell your pastor about your decision.  Find men who will pray with you and hold you accountable. 


A professional dog trainer friend of mine in speaking of dog training, told me, "a dog's natural impulses are bent and conditioned to serve the purposes of the trainer.  Since we have dominion over creation, the natural impulses of animals, especially those that are domesticated , are to obey/fear us."  

However, we humans don't have a natural impulse to obey/fear God.  Rather, we have a natural impulse to obey our natural impulses.  We are handcuffed by our impulses.  That's why it is so important to get our impulses under the control of God.  God clearly talks about this.  "So put to death your worldly impulses:  sexual sin, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed..."  

If you feel overwhelmed by your impulses and feel defeated by your inability to resist temptation, know this:  For every temptation, there is a way out.  How do I know this?  Because the Bible reminds us that God is faithful.  He doesn't just create us and say, "Good luck!  I hope you can ignore sin."  

God wants to work in your life so that you don't react impulsively but respond the way that He desires.  God wants to remove that selfishness that's within you and transform you so that you learn to please Him.  You learn "to serve the purposes of your trainer."  

What does "serving the purposes of your trainer" look like?  Well, you change channels when Go Daddy puts up a sensuous commercial during the Super Bowl (since when do we need scantily clad women to sell website hosting?).   You have paid channels blocked when you check into a hotel.  You meet with men who hold each other accountable for godly behavior.  You dump your porn.

However, "serving the purposes of your trainer" goes beyond behavior.  It goes to a heart change.  God wants your sanctification.  Sanctification means that you permit God to change you from the inside out and reserve you for His special purposes.   


Can you let that happen?  Yes, you can.  
Are you humble enough to let God make you into a real man?  Yes, you are.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Sunday Meditation

2/17/2013

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No more lying then. Everyone must tell the truth to his fellow believers because we are all members together in the body of Christ. 


Honesty is essential to recovery. Honesty is essential to intimacy. But honesty is not easy.

We were not created to be isolated, independent creatures. We were created to be interdependent. We need each other. And in order for us to be helped by others and to be helpful to others, we need to practice honesty. That means we must learn how to talk to each other about our thoughts and our feelings and our needs. We must learn to talk about our struggles and failures, about our dreams and our successes.

Honesty is the soil in which intimate relationships grow. It creates the possibility of being known and loved for who we really are. But it is also full of risks. If we tell the truth about ourselves, people may not listen. They may not want to know. They may not understand. They may judge and reject. They may dislike us. They may give us simple answers to unanswerable questions. They may repeat what we have said to others.

We hesitate to be honest because we have experienced these things in the past. Our feelings may have been minimized. Our thoughts may have been devalued. Our reality may have been denied. But in order to grow healthy relationships, in order to heal and recover, we need to begin to take risks. Learning honesty will be a process for us. It will not come quickly. But as we practice the disciplines of honesty we gradually become more secure in telling the truth.

I am tired of lying, when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
But I am afraid of honesty, Lord.
It's not as easy as it sounds.
Help me to pursue honesty today.
Help me to be honest with you.
Help me to be honest with myself.
Help me to build a community of faith
where honesty is the norm.
Build in me a capacity for truth.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

National Association for Christian Recovery

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My turn!!

2/16/2013

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Yesterday, we were at a restaurant with a couple of friends. We had great conversation and it was fun to be with them. They brought their children and we brought our son, and baby in utero.  If you have ever raised a toddler you know that one does not simply take a child this age to an eating establishment…parents bring the child along with an “eating kit” of sorts (bib, utensils, sippy cup, etc).

Our food had come, and everything looked delicious. After we got everything situated, I turned to my son to put his bib on him. At that moment, my son turned into Mr. Independent and wanted to do it himself. “MY TURN!”, he yelled as he ripped the bib from my hands. He wanted to put the bib on himself. He did not want any help. Within seconds he had it all knotted up and asked for help to get it on.

Sometimes we do this same thing to God. We think we can handle all of our problems, and even become offended when help or support is offered. We want to do things ourselves. We want to have the power to fix what is wrong with us. Often, when we take this course of action, we end up with a tangled mess.

What would the world look like if we looked at God as the first resort instead of the last? I have a feeling things would work a lot smoother. Pride would not be a dominant issue in our lives and we would find peace in the midst of our problems.

Trust in God today…he can fix it….Whatever “it” is.



This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  You can find his original post here:  http://other-words.net/2013/02/11/my-turn/

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The Tournament Male

2/15/2013

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Men have within them this desire to always be looking for more.  That could be one of the definitions of a TOURNAMENT MALE.  Men have unusual abilities.   For example, a room can be full of men, yet some will attempt to monopolize the only woman in the room.

Men will be talking, many of them with their backs to the door.  A woman will enter the room and the men with their backs to the door will know, I don’t know how we know, but we know when a woman has entered the room.  Maybe we pick up on the observations of the other men that saw her first.  I don’t know how, but we men have this ability.  

A few moments after the woman enters, men will do one and/or two things: 
1) they will check her out, comparing her to their own wife or girlfriend, or if single, compare her with old girlfriends, and/or 2) they will approach her and start talking to her.  

There will ALWAYS be more than one man who chooses option #2.  Hence, the tournament is on…

Let me share with you my experience with being a TOURNAMENT MALE.

Before having been married for 10 years, we moved to Ecuador to counsel missionaries.  I was excited being on the mission field with a young wife and two sons.  

My office was in an English-speaking church in Quito.  On one occasion, we had a group of about six high school girls visit us from America and the Pastor and I took them to the hospital in Shell Mera.  We stopped at one very picturesque part of the Amazon Jungle where there was this waterfall that fed into the Amazon River.  The Pastor and the most attractive girl took off down the trail (she had been sitting in the front with him and they had been carrying on quite a conversation) and I waited back at the van and walked the remaining girls down the trail.  All the way down the trail, I was brooding.  I was thinking to myself, “why does he get to take off all alone with the prettiest girl and I’m stuck with these five?” 


I was jealous and I was not very cordial on this trip after jealousy set in.  

Sometime on the trip, I don’t know if it was at the hospital or on the trip back, I realized how stupid and selfish I was.  A thought hit me, “You are such a lucky man.  You have a wonderful, beautiful wife and two marvelous sons.  Why in the world do you care about being alone with a high school girl?”  Part of the answer was I was in a competition with the Pastor.  Because he was with the prettiest girl, he was more of a man than I was (or so my ego wanted me to believe).  

The TOURNAMENT MALE syndrome works that way.  My ego was more important to me than anything.   I got jealous.  

When I got back to our apartment in Quito, after the boys were in bed, I told Karyn about this experience.  I told her how I felt and what I discovered about myself.  Karyn said, “yes, I’ve seen that about you and have been praying that God would talk to you about that.”  

That just blew me away.  My wonderful, patient, loving wife chose to let God speak to me about my TOURNAMENT MALE syndrome in His timing rather than confront me directly in her timing.  

I tell you this story, passing on what I learned, hoping it will help you:

-       It’s important to have someone in your life who is willing to pray for you

-       It’s important to be honest with yourself, God and someone who loves you

-       It’s important to listen to God’s Holy Spirit.  He will lovingly confront you about things that need to change in your life.

Let God empower you to keep your ego in check.

Are you a TOURNAMENT MALE?   Every man is.  So, ask God to take you out of the tourney and put you into His hands where you can do what He wants and not be ruled by your jealousy and ego.  

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

My thanks to Dr Don Joy for this concept of the Tournament Male



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Rules or Love

2/14/2013

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There once was a couple who loved each other very, very much.

They loved each other so much, in fact, that every act of kindness, every gesture of service, was considered pure privilege. Whichever one of them woke up first would cook breakfast for the one who slept longer; they would surprise each other with gifts, small tokens of affection that were monetarily valueless but sentimentally priceless because they were laden with meaning; and they would tell each other constantly how much they loved each other, mainly because they just couldn't keep it in.

Over time, however, the relationship became a series of behaviors. They would still cook breakfast for each other, but only because breakfast was now the responsibility of whomever woke up first. They would still surprise each other with gifts, but only because the absence of gifts would have broken a long-standing tradition. And they still told each other how much they loved each other, but only because they had trained themselves in the vocabulary of love. The actions were the same; the motivation had subtly, drastically changed.

During those first years of their relationship, the couple overflowed with life. The latter years, however, were a slow, daily death. A kind of love was still there, but all the affection was gone. As soon as their acts of love became a to-do list rather than an overflow of desire, the shell of the relationship hardened and the inner joy gradually, achingly seeped away.

How Love Fades


Love turns to ritual quickly. The spontaneity and affection that fill a relationship with life can become rote behaviors almost overnight. Whenever we want to recapture those early exhilarating feelings, we do the things that accompanied them, assuming that the actions will spark the emotions again. But they don't. In all matters of love, actions are only a product, never a producer, of how we really feel.

This dynamic is apparent all too often, widely observable in cinema, literature and, sadly, in the firsthand experience of many. Every married couple, presumably, has at least occasionally wavered between form and feeling, trying to manufacture the former in hopes of cultivating the latter. But manufacturing form usually doesn't work. Love has to be felt.

That's the way it is in our relationship with God too. I know that doesn't jibe with most definitions of "agape," that ideal form of biblical love allegedly based entirely on fact and never on emotion. But try bringing that kind of love into any relationship that matters. Would your children be glad to know you're fulfilling your parental duties in spite of your lack of feelings for them? How about your husband or wife being content with your explanation that though the feelings have gone, the commitment to honor the piece of paper that says you're married remains? No, I didn't think so.

The fact is that the Christian life can degenerate into a set of rules suddenly and imperceptibly. There's nothing wrong with rules; they're great when the heart just isn't in it anymore and you need a temporary framework. But they're always remedial. As a long-term norm and the basis of a relationship, they drain us of life. The answer is to have the heart fixed.

That's what the Christian life is all about. It's a heart issue. The Holy Spirit didn't come into us to teach us which rules to obey—"the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" (2 Corinthians 3:6). He inhabits us for an entirely different reason: unbridled, passionate love. The kind that serves because serving is a privilege, that fulfills rules even when unaware that there were rules to fulfill. The kind that gets up and cooks breakfast for the beloved. The kind that gives gifts because giving is what naturally happens. The kind that declares and demonstrates "I love you" constantly because the love just can't be contained.

Does that accurately describe your Christian life? Yeah, mine either. Oh, sometimes that kind of love is there, and it's incredible when it is. But as a pattern, we substitute obedience to form over a natural response to passion. And it's a slow, aching death. If we're not exuberantly in love with God, we're missing the essence of the Christian life.

When that's the case, what's the solution? Pardon my lack of conventionality, but the answer isn't a recommitment. Neither is it a deeper resolve or an increase in the spiritual disciplines. Not to criticize, but I've found that those things only accelerate the death of desire in a relationship. They don't make the heart beat faster. They do nothing to rekindle love.

How Love Returns


Rekindling love is all about spontaneity, adventure, passion, and pleasure. It certainly doesn't violate the character of the other person—God forbid, as in this case the other person is actually God—but it does recognize the true nature of the new heart. Rekindling love begins by understanding that God is a romantic in love with His bride.

Some generations would blush at such a notion—or worse yet, condemn it—but God makes it very, very clear in His Word. He portrays Himself as a lover in the Song of Songs and a jealous husband in the Law, the prophets, and the parables of Jesus. Are we, like most insensitive spouses, completely unable to take a hint?

If your faith is in need of revitalization, imagine what advice you'd give to the couple in the first four paragraphs. How should they get the sparks flying again? Would you tell them to focus more on the fact that they were married? Or would you encourage them to go away together, to spend some time rekindling the flame that was once there? Whichever advice you would give them, turn around and give it to yourself.

God's heart of love is not a sterile heart. He approaches you with enthusiasm and desire. If you return His passion with formulaic living, the Romantic is sadly, seriously disappointed. If you return His passion with passion, the Romantic is thrillingly, gloriously... well, wildly in love with His beloved. A relationship defined by such love is never defined by the rules within it. And it is never, ever unsatisfying.

This post was written by Chris Tiegreen.  You can find the original post at:  http://www.walkthru.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1048&Itemid=559

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Three Things to Know About Marriage

2/13/2013

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I used to think I had my stuff together. Then I got married.

Marriage is great—but it rocked everything I knew. I quickly realized my basic goal in life, prior to getting married, was to simply remain undisturbed.

This “disruption” came suddenly and was disguised as a 5-foot-nothing Swedish-Filipino woman. When I decided I’d rather not live without her, I proceeded to ask her to marry me—that is, to officially invite someone who wasn’t me to be in my personal space for the rest of my life.

This decision introduced my most significant experiences and most challenging experiences—none of which I would trade for the world.

However, I wish I’d had a bit more insight on the front end of our marriage to help me navigate it all.

According to most research, more than 50 percent of people who say “I do” will not be sleeping in the same bed eight years from now. And though Scripture alludes to the fact that adultery and abuse may be reasons individuals might end a marriage, I’d be willing to bet that most challenges experienced in marriage are the result of unawareness. Most people—myself included—jump into marriage with suitcases full of misconceptions and bad theology, entirely unaware of the unique beauty and paradoxical intentions of marriage.

The following are three thoughts on marriage that friends and mentors have shared with me. I remind myself of them often in hopes of keeping this anomaly called marriage both enjoyable and healthy.

1. Marriage is not about living happily ever after.

Here’s the truth: I get annoyed at my wife. But this is more a reflection of me than her.

I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she's looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human.

I once read a book that alluded to the idea that marriage is the fire of life—that somehow it’s designed to refine all our dysfunction and spur us into progressive wholeness. In this light, contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow.

When we’re willing to see it this way, then the points of friction in our marriages quickly become gifts that consistently invite us into a more whole and fulfilling experience of life.

2. The more you give to marriage, the more it gives back.

Over the past year, a few friends and I have had an open conversation about the highs and lows of marriage—specifically how to make the most of the high times and avoid the low ones. Along the way, we happened upon a derailing hypothesis that goes something like this: If one makes their husband or wife priority number one, all other areas of life benefit.

It’s a disorienting claim. Disorienting, because it protests my deeper persuasion that success as an entrepreneur, or any professional, requires that career takes the throne of my priorities and remain there for, at the very least, a couple of years.

However, seeing that my recent pattern of caring about work over marriage had produced little more than paying bills and a miserable wife, I figured giving the philosophy a test drive couldn’t hurt.

For 31 days, I intentionally put my wife first over everything else, and then I tracked how it worked. I created a metric for these purposes, to mark our relationship as priority, and then my effectiveness in all other areas of my life on the same scale, including career productivity and general quality of life.

To my surprise, a month later, I had a chart of data and a handful of ironic experiences to prove that the more you give to marriage, the more it gives back.

Notably, on the days my wife genuinely felt valued, I observed her advocating for me to invest deeply in to my work. She no longer saw our relationship and my career pursuits as competitors for my attention, and as she partnered with me in my career, I have experienced the benefits of having the closest person in my life champion me.

Of course, marriage requires sacrifice. And sometimes it will feel as if it takes and takes. However, when we return marriage to its rightful place in our priorities, it can quickly turn from something we have to maintain and sacrifice for into the greatest asset to every other layer of our lives.

3. Marriage can change the world.

John Medina, the author of Brain Rules and a Christian biologist, is often approached by men looking for the silver bullet of fathering. In one way or another, they all come around to asking, “What’s the most important thing I can do as a father?”

Medina's answer alludes to a surprising truth.

In my previously mentioned experiment, I measured the effect that making my marriage priority number one had on different areas of my life. One of those areas was my 16-month-old son’s behavior.

What I found in simply charting my observations was that the majority of the time, my child’s behavior was directly affected by the level of intention I invested in my marriage.

Re-enter John Medina, the Christian biologist. After years of biological research and several books on parenting conclusions, what is his answer to the question, “What’s the most important thing I can do as a father”?

“Go home and love your wife.”

Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, the authors of Babywise, say it this way: “A healthy marriage creates an infused stability within the family and a haven of security for a child in their development process.” They go on to sum up their years of research by saying, “In the end, great marriages produce great parents.”

The point is that marriage has a higher goal than to make two people happy or even whole. Yes, the investment we make into our marriage pays dividends for us. But, concluded by Medina and his colleagues, the same investment also has significant implications for our family, our community and eventually our culture.

So men, women, the next time you find yourself dreaming about living significantly or succeeding in your career or being a better parent than yours were to you, do the world a favor: Go home and love your wife. Go home and and love your husband.

This post is written by Tyler Ward.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/3-things-i-wish-i-knew-we-got-married

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Top Five Reasons to Grow Up and Get Married

2/12/2013

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I’m pro-marriage. I always have been, always will be and I’ll make no apologies for it. As a matter of fact, most of you should be apologizing to me. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're one with a successful marriage who's remained silent on its myriad virtues, or merely a single, lonely critic... America, you've got some 'splaining to do.

Sadly, marriage has become a punchline in today’s society. From referring to the wife as “the old ball and chain” to nearly every poorly written sitcom that we watch, the message we’re sending to today’s generation is clear… Marriage = no fun.

Men on TV constantly joke about how wives are incredibly expensive, demanding and overall vacuums of all things fun. By that same token, the women complain about their fat, lazy, insensitive husbands as they swoon over their trimmed, manicured and chest-waxed Hollywood counterparts.

Ever see a commercial with a wife and husband shopping together? Yeah, we always play the idiot.

I know plenty of people my age that will never get married because they genuinely believe the false cultural meme that marriage has sadly become. There’s only one problem. It’s completely untrue.

Even more of a problem, those who know it to be untrue often do nothing to correct the lie.

As someone who comes from a family of lifers (along with my wife), I just want to say, flat out…

… Marriage is a really good deal.

Let’s assume for a second that you don’t think of humans as inherently spiritual beings. So let’s remove the fact that married people claim to be happier, more fulfilled, complete and purposeful. Some of you are even thinking,

“Love? Who needs love!”

Okay. Here are a few purely statistical reasons as to why marriage (when done correctly) is conducive to an undeniably better life. Hold onto your butts.

1. You’ll be richer – Yes. Not only do married couples make more, save more, have a higher net worth and qualify for more benefits/financial incentives than lonely, single folk… but your kids will be richer too. Which brings me to my next point

2. Would somebody please think of the children!! – The single biggest indicator of child poverty is whether both original parents are still together. Not only that, but children in married households get better grades, are less disruptive in class and less likely to develop behavioral disorders than children from non-married households. So be married long and prosper. Your kids will too.

3. You’ll have more sex… A LOT MORE SEX – Okay so you may not want kids. You may despise them. I get it. Sticky hands. Let’s say you’re just another selfish, narcissistic bachelor (or bachelorette) who quite frankly, isn’t deserving of the unconditional love you may oh-so-luckily find. You just want the sex. Statistically, not only do married people have more sex, they have better, more satisfying sex. If the two of you should hold off on sex until marriage, those statistics become even more promising. Here’s a perfect example of where Hollywood gets it wrong. In the real world, while Alfie fruitlessly toiled away at picking up harlots from the bar, suffering a mean case of whiskey-wiener, Mr. Cleaver was getting busy on the regular. Them’s the real breaks.

4. You won’t be such a pathetic sloth – Married people are more productive. Married men in particular, have higher employment rates, work longer hours and receive better wages. It’s time to stop wading through puddles of your own filth as you reach for the hotpockets and have a dame whip you into shape. You’re welcome.

5. Don’t die sick, miserable and alone. This would seem to be self-explanatory. Sadly, it’s not. Young people think that being young and single is the “fun and free” time of your life, while marriage is something that can wait for the days when you’re ready to grow fat, boring and settle down. Married people not only live longer lives, they live healthier lives. There are too many factors at play here to even list. From married people statistically maintaining healthier weights, being more active and having lower mortality rates, to married women incurring less severe illnesses, enjoying better cancer survival rates and of course… lower rates of domestic abuse (as opposed to those merely cohabitating). Yes ladies, it’s true, living with an uncommitted, self-absorbed jackass can be hazardous to your health.

All of this to basically say that people need to start being more honest and vocal about the virtues of marriage. Americans need to stop feeding and buying into the lie that we’ve all been fed. Whether you’re young old, male, female, marriage (when done correctly) will make your life, and this country better off. The facts are undeniable. If the facts aren’t enough, maybe this’ll help…

Picture coming home every night to your best friend, your greatest fan, and your number one supporter. She (or he) makes each good day better, and each bad day good again. Every day, you get to live what is essentially a 24/7 sleepover party with the greatest friend you’ve ever had.

… Now add sex and sandwiches.

Get married, like, now.

This post was written by Steve Crowder.  For the original post, go to:  http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/26/man-top-5-reasons-to-grow-up-and-get-married/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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I give God 10%.  Why do you get 18%?

2/11/2013

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Unless you have been living under a rock, you have noted the pastor who wrote "I give God 10% Why do you get 18%?" on her receipt.  She had taken a large group of people to the restaurant and didn't know about the 18% surcharge for large groups.  Hence, she was surprised to see that on her bill.  The picture (left) went viral and people all over the internet have posted opinions about the incident.  A couple of facts should be noted:  1) The pastor did pay the entire bill, and 2) she apologized for her behavior.  She regretted doing so, saying "it was a lapse of judgement" on her part.  

I have seen people respond to this and say that it was rude behavior, that she is hypocritical, that she believes she is entitled because she is a pastor, etc.   

I have also seen people state that the friend of the server shouldn't have posted it on the internet, the poster should not have gotten fired, the pastor should pay the server's salary until she get another serving job, etc.

This viral receipt has caused quite a storm in the public arena, EVERYBODY seems to have an opinion...

I think that there is a larger issue here:  The misunderstanding of what a tithe is.

When my children were younger, my aunt attempted to teach my son about tithing.  What she didn't know was that we had already taught him this concept.  She laid out 10 dimes and started to tell him that God only wanted one dime the rest were his to keep.  My son, who has always been money savvy, said, "God wants all of it!  I give Him one to show Him that I love Him."  I was beaming.  I thought, "yeah, way to go son!!"  My Aunt said that he was correct and that he must have already known about tithing.  

We had an experience earlier in the week where I taught him the concept.  I had given him a small bag of french fries.  I asked him to let me have one.  He said, "No!  These are mine!!"  I reminded him that I paid for the fries.  I was the one who gave them to him.  If I hadn't given them to him, he would have nothing.  By all rights, those fries belonged to me because I gave them to him to enjoy.  

Later in the meal, we talked about how I got that money.  "God gave me a job so that I would have money to spend on you so you could get fries.  So everything I have belongs to God.  He can have whatever He wants because He supplied me with everything.  Without God, I would have nothing."  

He was just a young boy, I didn't want to wear him out.  So the next day we picked the conversation back up.  "Some people believe that you keep most for yourself and just give God a little bit.  In our family, we believe that everything belongs to God.  I give Him money at church to help pay for His building and other things."  He wanted to know what the "other things" were.  I told him about electricity, water, the pastor's expenses... at that pointed he interrupted me, "Does that pay for the pastor's daughter to have things?"  I said, "yes."  He said, "well, if it pays for her, I don't want to give any!"  He was joking....  We had reached the end of our conversation about money and God's generosity.  I had worn him out.  

Nevertheless, he caught on to the concept that I was trying to teach him...  Just ask my Aunt.

How do you view money?  
Is it yours?  Is it God's?

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BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

2/10/2013

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Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Sometimes honest confession can seem astonishing, impossible, and dangerous. Because we have learned silence so well, we experience honesty as full of risk. After all, if we are honest, then other people will know what we think and feel. We will be exposed. The appearance of strength and competence we work so hard to cultivate will have to share the stage with our weaknesses, our failings, our sins.

When we practice honesty as a daily discipline, however, something happens to us. The promise of this text begins gradually to grow in our lives. We begin to heal. It is not a dramatic, once-for-all-time, quick-fix kind of healing. Nor is it a private healing, a healing that happens only 'inside' our heads or in secret with God.

Honesty leads to healing because people can now express their love for us in practical ways. Honesty leads to healing because we no longer have to pay the high tariffs that pretense demands. We heal because the experience of acceptance counteracts the contempt we so easily heap on ourselves. We heal because we are no longer alone. We heal because we are known and loved.

Honesty is a discipline with a promise. We will be healed.

Lord, give me the humility and
the courage
to practice confession today.
Heal me as I do the work of honesty.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery



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God can use ice cubes

2/9/2013

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A Manchineri believer in Brazil, Genesio, recently told missionary Peter Rich, how ice cubes led to his salvation.

 “I used to think that only people that preached God’s Word were able to have ice cubes. I didn’t know what they were. One day I asked my mother, ‘What are those hard things that missionaries have in their cups?’ ‘Son, she replied, ‘That’s just something other people do.

“But I was still curious so I asked Peter, What are those things in your cup? He told me that it was water made hard with cold. I knew he was lying to me. I went home and said to my mother, ‘I think Peter is lying to us. He said those hard things were just water. I know that’s not true.’

“Then one day after we had finished some work we were doing for the missionaries, Peter gave me some water with those hard things in it. I drank the water and asked if I could take the hard things home with me. Peter gave me some water with the hard things in it. I ran home as fast as I could and asked for a bowl to put them in. My mother and brothers and I poked them with our fingers and wondered what they could be. Around midnight we noticed that they were turning into something like water. What could it be?

“Later I was watching when Peter was filling a little tray with water. He said he was going to put them in that box they call a refrigerator and by the next day the water would turn hard. Peter said, ‘Come back tomorrow and I’ll show it to you.’

“The next day I went back and the water was hard. Peter showed me the back of the box and explained that the process that made heat which made the water get hard.

“Not long afterwards I was talking with my brother Tshiko. He was telling me that he didn’t believe the things that the missionary was teaching. I told Tshiko that I also did not believe at first but after seeing how a box made by mere men could take water and transform it into hard rocks I now believed that a God who created all things could surely transform the soul of a wicked person into His image.

“From that time on I looked forward to the meetings because I wanted to learn all I could about this God. I never had any trouble listening from then on. Now I know the true God.”

Genesio along with several other Manchineri believers continues to help Peter translate the Scriptures into the Manchinere language.

Pray that Peter Rich and his co-workers, Genesio and his brother Raimundo, will clearly and accurately translate God’s Word into Manchineri.

This post was written by D McMaster.  You can find the original post here:  http://usa.ntm.org/mission-news/52278/the-testimony-of-the-ice-cube


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