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Your porn habit is adultery

7/21/2014

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I know a guy who cheats on his wife. He cheats on her every day. He cheats on her multiple times a day. He’s a husband and a father and a serial adulterer.

I shouldn’t know this fact about him, but it came up in conversation a few days ago. We were talking about the divorce rate; both of us gave our theories as to why the statistics are so high. I mentioned in my diagnosis a few studies that show pornography to be a root cause in over 50 percent of divorces annually.

He laughed. “People don’t get divorced over porn.” He went on to explain that porn isn’t a “big deal” to most people. It’s not “like it’s cheating or something.” He told me that he looks at it multiple times daily. His wife, he insisted, might be a little peeved if she knew the extent of it, but only because women overreact about “that kind of thing.”

What kind of thing? Their husbands spending all day obsessively plunging through the darkest regions of the internet for graphic sexual images of rape, abuse, perversion, exploitation and other forms of filthy depravity previously unknown to mankind?

Yeah. That kind of thing. No reason why any wife should be too upset about that, apparently.

Listen guys, I know this is an uncomfortable conversation. But it’s time we man up and get real about pornography. First things first: if you’re married and you look at porn, you are cheating. Period. From a Christian perspective, this can’t be debated. Christ laid it out very clearly: if you lust after another woman, you have committed adultery. When we look at porn we are choosing to succumb to that lust; we are indulging it, fertilizing it, giving it respite in our minds. We are diving into it headfirst and soaking in it like a sponge. We are lessening ourselves, betraying our wives and participating in the violent exploitation of women (and girls). Our minds and our bodies belong to the Lord and to our wives; pornography, therefore, intrudes on their domain. If we look at porn, we are adulterers. We are adulterers in all the worst ways.

We don’t even need to refer to Scripture to figure out the simple equation that porn equals adultery.

Why wouldn’t it?

Because you aren’t physically in contact with another woman?

So what? That’s merely a matter of semantics and circumstance. The absence of physical touch doesn’t automatically free you of the scarlet letter — if it did, ‘sexting’ with other women would be fair game, I suppose. How would you feel if you looked through your wife’s phone and found racy, sexually graphic text messages she’d sent to a man at her office? Would you be alright with it as long as she could prove she never had any physical contact with him? Or is that totally different because she knows the guy, whereas porn is anonymous and impersonal? See, we find ourselves constructing many arbitrary lines of distinction when we are determined to rationalize behavior we instinctively know to be immoral and wrong.

But, OK, what if she didn’t know the guy? What if she was engaging in “fantasies” with men she never met? Imagine that, in your cyber travels, you stumbled upon a porn site featuring pictures and videos of a particularly alluring young female: your wife. How would that sit with you? Your wife selling digital sex all over the internet — how would you like that? It might cause a bit of a marital dispute, wouldn’t you say?

If you wouldn’t want your wife being a porn provider, you ought to understand why she wouldn’t want you to be a porn consumer. If you wouldn’t want her to invite and encourage other men to violate her in their minds, you ought to understand why she wouldn’t want you to accept the invitation to violate other women in yours.

I don’t mean to concentrate only on married men. Porn is poison for everyone, married or not. And I’m not here to castigate you if you’ve stumbled. We live in a society that preys upon a man’s weaknesses, shoving sex into his face at hyper speed every day, all day, all of the time. This isn’t an excuse; just an attempt to put things into context. I won’t yell at a guy who fights a porn addiction anymore than I’d yell at a guy who fights a crack addiction. But at least the crack addict likely won’t encounter very many people (besides his dealer) who will tell him that it’s actually healthy to smoke crack. If he ventures outside of the abandoned shack where he scores his dope, he probably won’t find any respectable people who will say, “hey, crack isn’t a big deal — it’s totally natural to smoke crack, man!” In that way, the crack smoker has a leg up on the porn addict. The porn addict, by contrast, has to fight both the compulsion itself and the myriad of creeps who will try to convince him that it’s all just a bit of innocent fun.

That’s a lie, of course. It’s not innocent. It’s not fun.

I could cite for you the mounds of psychiatric research proving the detrimental effects of pornography on the brain. But you can do that research yourself.

I could tell you about sex slavery, human trafficking, drug abuse, and child molestation, and I could explain how the porn industry wouldn’t exist without these necessary ingredients. But these are conclusions you can draw on your own, if ever you take even a moment to think about it.

I could remind you that these women you find on your porn sites might not be women at all — they could be children — and there’s no way for you to know for sure. I could then point out that any avid porn customer has most likely at some point been a child porn customer, whether he knew it or not. But this is, indeed, an obvious and inescapable reality.

I could tell you that many children view graphic porn for the first time before the age of 12. I could tell you that we haven’t even begun to reap the atrocious fruits that will come from an entire generation raised on the heinous perversions of internet pornography. But it’s probably too late for these warnings.

So what is left? Perhaps nothing, really. Pornography is evil, empty, deadening, dirty — this is something we all know. That’s why, unless you are either psychotic or utterly despicable, you wouldn’t want your daughter to get into the porn business. That’s why most people hide their porn habits. That’s why it still isn’t considered acceptable to browse “adult” websites at your desk at work or at a table in Starbucks (although people still do, in both scenarios). That’s why you only find porn shops and strip clubs in the slummy, rundown parts of town. No matter how hedonistic and “open minded” we become, we still recognize porn as something that ought to be stowed away in the dank, dark corners of our lives. This is Natural Law, and we can’t escape it. We have an innate understanding of right and wrong, whether we want it or not.

Married men: I think we should be spending our free time with our families, or reading interesting books so that we can sharpen our minds, or building things, or exercising, or doing anything else that will make us better men. Porn will not make you a better man. It will make you smaller. It will make you a liar. It will kill that instinct inside you that calls you to protect and honor women. It will turn you into something you never wanted to be. It will turn you into a sneaky, shameful pervert.

It will turn you into an adulterer.

This post was written by Matt Walsh.  For the original post, go to:  http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/11/25/married-men-your-porn-habit-is-an-adultery-habit/

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Sunday Meditation

7/20/2014

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How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?  Psalm 13:1-2

Sometimes our spiritual distress is centered on questions about God. Where is God? Why doesn't God help? At other times our spiritual distress is centered on questions about ourselves. What is wrong with me? How come I'm still struggling this much?

Doubts about ourselves can be profoundly troubling. We wonder if our faith will survive the struggle. We wonder if our faith is strong enough. Often we feel like spiritual failures. The kind of spirituality we have been taught does not envision 'good' Christians as people who wrestle with their thoughts and are sad everyday. We think of 'good' Christians as people who trust God and manage to smile in the midst of any circumstances. When we can't manage to do this, we question and criticize ourselves.

But wrestling with our thoughts and experiencing sorrow day after day is often a part of the recovery process. It is not a sign of failure to engage in this hard work. It is a sign of courage. And it is a sign that our faith is alive and struggling. People of real faith struggle in life. People of real faith are people who wrestle with thoughts and who feel sorrow in their heart.

Lord, I get so tired of thought-wrestling.
And I am so weary of heart-sorrow.
How long, Lord?
How long does this wrestling and sorrow go on?

Help me, Lord, not to experience this struggle as spiritual failure.
Help me to see this hard work as drawing me closer to you.
Remind me today that you are with me in all of this.
Remind me today that you understand.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

National Association for Christian Recovery




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The name of Jesus

7/19/2014

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 “When they heard this, the crowd and the city officials were thrown into turmoil.”- Acts 17:8

I am not sure what it is, but there is something about the name of Jesus that truly means something. In the public sector, the name of Jesus has caused so much trouble, so many court cases, and corporate complaints. Why? I mean…it is just a word, right? It still is somewhat confusing to me, because there aren’t names out there in textbooks, or who have celebrity status who bring about such a reaction.

When one says the phrase, “the name of Jesus” the common misconception is that they are only talking about the first name on Christ’s birth certificate (if He had one). My name is Landon, but that word only goes as far as my unique identity. With Jesus, though, there is something more powerful going on. The name of Jesus not only refers to who He is, but is also refers to His purpose. “Jesus”, broken down into the original language, literally means God saves, rescues or delivers.

So, when His name is mentioned, why are there such reactions across the globe? I think it is because people are comfortably acclimated to their captivity. It is an unpopular notion in our culture that anyone needs rescued. In fact, it is actually taboo to have the compassion to point out that people are drowning in a sea of lostness. I have had people tell me that the words I say are somewhat judgemental simply because I am extending a hand and pointing to a way out of their pain. This is the reality we live in. The world is a dark place, and the name of Jesus says it all…God saves, rescues, and delivers.

Reach up…find your way out of the darkness.



This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  For the original post, go to:  http://other-words.net/2014/07/14/the-name-monday-musings/



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Taking charge of your thought life

7/18/2014

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If there’s one area of life where we humans tend to struggle it’s the random thoughts that come into our minds.

Why is this a problem?

Often those thoughts are negative. Sometimes they go all the way to harmful.

ANGER: Man, I hate my boss so much right now!

LUST: Wow, I’d love to see her without her clothes on.

FEAR: Sheesh, how are we ever going to pay all these bills?

JEALOUSY: No fair! How come he got this bonus and I didn’t?!

Counselors warn us that if we think negative thoughts for too long, then we’re in danger of acting on those thoughts.

Thoughts drive actions, usually, (unless an action is a gut response). And so the logic goes, for instance, that if we think hateful thoughts long enough, pretty soon we become a person who’s full of hate, and then we act on that hate. That is, our hate-thoughts will become hate-crimes.

Ghandi famously put it this way:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.


With respect to Ghandi, I’d say he’s partially right about this one. Sometimes your thoughts become your destiny and sometimes not. You might think lustful thoughts your entire life and never actually have an affair. You might think hateful thoughts for years and never actually murder someone, although you’re dancing on the edge of destruction.

Regardless, I’d say a related danger always exists whenever you let thoughts run wild--

You waste your life.

And that’s a big problem for anyone. Me included.

Say you wake at 3 a.m., and a fear about money floats into your mind. Which would you rather do—stay awake for the next four hours tossing and turning? Or take charge of your thought-life and return to a restful sleep?

Or say you see a fine-featured woman walking down the street? Which would you rather have? A marriage filled with lust, where you’re continually longing for other women? Or a marriage filled with satisfaction, where you’re continually thinking about how to best love your wife?

So, what do you do?

A primer on proactive thinking

Here’s a solution for taking charge of your thought-life.

Be forewarned, it comes from scripture. I realize not everyone who reads this blog has a faith-based value system, and as I’ve said before, that’s okay, I’m glad you read this blog. After I offer this solution, I’ll offer a faith-based application as well as a secular one. So keep reading, compadres, no matter what you believe.

One solution to taking control of your thought-life is found in Psalms 1, where the writer says,

Blessed is the man … [who] meditates day and night on God’s law.

The word ‘meditate’ means to mentally chew on something. You purposely place something in your mind and mull it.

You take charge of your mind.

According to this directive, you do well if you mediate on God’s law, namely, on passages of scripture.

If you’re not-faith based, the general principle still holds true: you do well by purposely placing something positive in your mind. You proactively think positive thoughts.

How is that done? You imagine something honorable. You mentally recite a famous quote. You focus on the words to a song that lifts you up rather than puts you down. You remember something admirable.

I don’t know about you, but the most vulnerable thinking times for me are the following:

·        First thing in the morning. It’s far too easy to begin the day in a bad mood. Particularly a Monday. It’s almost expected.

·        Last thing at night. As I’m lying in the dark, it’s easy to let negative thoughts, unrestrained frustrations, and the concerns of the day reign over my mind.

·        When I drive. Particularly a long drive offers time for introspection, reflection, and contemplation. I’m prone to wonder about life’s ‘what ifs.’ I reflect on past conversations and interactions, sometimes angrily or bitterly. I become uneasy about the future.

Here’s the solution put into action:

First thing in the morning, I place into my mind these words below. I’ve memorized this, and the first thing I do when I wake up is purposely choose to run these words through my mind.

Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;

For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

At the end of the day, I put in my mind these words. I’ve memorized this, and the last thing I do at night, (or if I wake up in the middle of the night) is purposely choose to run these words through my mind.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,

Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

When I drive, if I’m angry or concerned, I often place these words in my mind:

Do not be anxious about anything,

But in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God

And the peace of God which transcends all understanding

Will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Replace the harmful with the helpful

Taking control of your thought-life means you purposely drive your thoughts in the right direction. If a negative or harmful thought comes into your mind, you mentally say, I’m not going to dwell on that.

But it’s about more than saying no.

Because if you just say, “I won’t think about X,” then the very thing you focus on is X. Soon your thoughts churn with keeping X out, denying X, not opening the door to X, and your mind become mesmerized with the removal of X. The harmful thought becomes the elephant in the room.

That cursed pachyderm can only be defeated by displacement. You can’t merely reject a negative thought. You must take action and place a positive thought in your mind instead. You replace the harmful with the helpful.

And you must think about the new helpful thought more than once. You proactively run that positive thought forward and backward again and again. You mentally chew on goodness like it’s a big piece of spearmint gum.

You take charge of your mind.

This post was written by Marcus Brotherton. You can find the original post here:  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/04/how-to-take-charge-of-your-thought-life/

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Which listener are you?

7/17/2014

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Two teenagers each sit down in front of an adult in two totally separate venues. In each situation an adult asks questions and the teenager responds.

In one of these situations the teenager is freed to express himself and literally can’t stop talking.

In the other situation the teenager clams up immediately.

What’s the difference?

Maybe you’ve experienced this. You’re trying to engage a teenager in conversation, but he or she immediately puts up a wall and you feel like you are prying answers from the kid.

Let me introduce you to the two types of listeners: the parole officer and the counselor. One asks questions in search for a violation, the other listens to understand.

THE PAROLE OFFICER LISTENER
First, I apologize to all parole officers for the stigma. I’m sure there are some great parole officers out there who really care, but I simply use the example because most people are not excited about sitting down in front of an individual who is not only going to ask them questions from a position of authority, but also has the ability to use the provided information against them! It’s a one-up relationship and in most situations, the parolee isn’t very excited to be questioned in the first place.

Questions can be great tools to engage young people, but not when you ask them like a parole officer in search of a violation.

“Where were you last night?”

“Was that boy Chris with you?”

These questions aren’t asked with the intent to get to know your kid; they are being asked to gather incriminating evidence. As soon as the poor kid answers something wrong you’ll exclaim, “Aha! I knew it!”

Similarly, some people ask nagging questions.

“Did you turn in your permission slip?”

“Did you finish the lawns?”

“Did you feed Wolfgang?”

Don’t ask questions like a person looking for malfeasance.

Don’t ask questions like someone who actually uses the word “malfeasance!”

Instead, ask question like…

THE COUNSELOR LISTENER
Counselors bill as much as $300 per hour.

What is so special about what they do?

They listen without judgment. The sit in a chair for an hour, talking a little, listening a lot… and people pay them big bucks to do so.

Why?

People want to be heard. People want to be understood. People want someone who is willing to put all of their other interests aside and focus 100% of their attention on them, without distraction.

Most people have to pay for this.

Funny, in the beginning of my book, Get Your Teenager Talking, I provide a handful of pointers about how to engage young people in conversation. In those first few pages I recommend a skill rarely used by parents.

The skill is this: notice.

Counselors notice. They notice body language, tone and word choice. One reason they are able to do this is because they are actually paying attention. They aren’t doing bills or putting away groceries while casually asking, “How was your day?”

When’s the last time you stopped and noticed your son or daughter. What are they wearing? Why did they dress that way today? What are they looking forward to more than anything that day? What are they loathing? What helps them numb the pain? Who can they share that pain with?

Do you know the answers to these questions?

If you want to get to know your kid like this, you have to learn to approach them like someone who wants to get to know them… not someone looking for malfeasance.


This post was written by Jonathan McKee.  You can find the original post here:  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/05/which-listener-are-you/



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Random wisdom for guys

7/16/2014

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The following snippets of wisdom (along with about 40 other) have been sitting around for nearly three years. Since I haven’t developed them into full-blown blog posts by now, then I take that as a sign I need to clear out the file and start again

1.      Never make a major decision on a Monday.

This goes for switching careers. Editing books. Dating women. Buying a new house. Everyone’s always a little bluer on a Monday. The world will look better on Tuesday.



2.      When doing repetitions of an exercise, count down instead of up.

This gives your workout a psychological edge, and it really works. Instead of counting from 1 to 10, count from 10 to 1. In your mind, you’re not pushing the stone up the hill that way. Instead, the elevator is falling down the shaft.

3.      The problem with the Internet is that NONE of the rest of life works this way.

You want instant answers? Instant purchase power? Instant gratification? It’s all just a click away. But if you start to look for Internet-styled immediacy in your colleagues, family members, spouse, or the driver in front of you at the red light, watch out. Only the Internet is immediate. The rest of life—real life—is not.

4.      When your wife or girlfriend says, “I’ll just be a minute.” That’s not a literal minute.

Also, when she says, “Hang the picture there.” She means hang the picture there. Or …there.

5.      When you travel by yourself and stay in a hotel, take a family photo with you and place it in the room somewhere in a prominent position.

Call home each night you’re away.

6.    It’s okay—even cool—for a man to drive a crappy truck.

You’re probably spending your money on things like groceries, diapers, the power bill. 

7.    Your new baby is self-centered and opinionated, demanding and loud.

It’s always about him, him, him. Good thing he’s the cutest kid in the universe.

8.      If you meet a self-professed expert …

in the stock market, the weather, or parenting, he’s probably wrong.

9.      I read a news story once about activists who set out in a canoe…

planning to paddle from Seattle to San Diego to raise awareness for some cause. They knew nothing about oceans, they admitted, and hadn’t trained at all for the trip. But they planned to learn about oceans and get in shape along the way as they paddled south. I never heard if they made it. I have my doubts.

10.For kids, it’s all about the big birthday present.

For grownups, it’s all about the big anniversary present.



This post was written by Marcus Brotherton.  You can find the original post at:  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/05/10-bits-of-random-wisdom-every-man-must-know/



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MAD??!!  Do nothing.

7/15/2014

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“About five, ten minutes tops,” the hostess assures us. “We’ll get you right in.”

We are suckers for this particular eatery, my wife and I, and they don’t take reservations for breakfast, so we agree to wait. Still, I remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry, Elaine, and George hear the same thing only to spend the next thirty minutes waiting for a table.

Fifteen minutes tick by. Twenty. Our two older kids are getting crabby, their stomachs growling. Twenty-five. Thirty. Our third child, the baby, needs to eat and begins to give kitten-like yelps of angst.

At the thirty-five minute mark we sigh and head for home and cold cereal. We’ve already reached our car when the hostess runs outside and shouts across the street—“Your table is ready!”

The situation has become laughable, but this place serves up the best cinnamon rolls in town. So we trudge inside, get shown to our table, and sit. Our waitress takes our order. After that we wait some more. And wait. And wait. There’s no casual swing-by from the waitress to say, “Your order will be right up.”

Finally, a whopping fifty minutes after our order is taken, our food arrives.

This has become a bad morning. I wanted this day to be special for my family, but no one’s in a good mood anymore.

When the check arrives, there’s no apology from the waitress, no plausible explanation of being shorthanded today, no murmured account of a new cook being broken in, no visit from the restaurant’s manager to comp us a free meal.

Only the check.

Typically I am a generous and affirming restaurant patron. Years ago I worked as a waiter, so I understand how slowdowns can occur.

But I am fuming. I want to say something to the management, only I don’t trust what might come out of my mouth.

What would you do?

It’s healthy to be assertive.

It’s good to speak up and say what you need to say. To do what you need to do.

In this particular case I considered confronting the waitress or manager after our meal was eaten, (never confront before—you never know who might spit in your soup). But neither of them were around when we wanted to leave, so I didn’t bother.

I simply paid the bill and didn’t leave a tip with the thought that the message would filter up through the ranks.

Then I talked over the situation with my wife on the way home.

And here’s where this story takes a twist--

Both of us acknowledged to each other the disappointment we felt on a morning we’d hoped would be special. We purposely named our feelings of anger to each other.

We discussed the merits of taking further action.

·       We could phone the restaurant, talk to the manager, and demand our money back.

·       We could leave a scathing review online.

But in the end decided in this case we wouldn’t do either.

We would do nothing.

Why?

Because the effort didn’t seem worth our time.

Instead, we wanted to do other activities with our family throughout the weekend. We wanted to put the event behind us and move forward.

In the end, you could call our response a lament of sorts. Not a lament with any deep mourning attached to it, or a grin-and-bear lament that shrugged off the experience completely, or a lament where we went around sad-faced the rest of the day.

Just a simple recognition that life is imperfect.

We’d eaten at this restaurant before and the experience had been great. Lots of people in town liked this restaurant. So there must have been some extenuating circumstances around this day to make our seating and service so slow.

Our conclusion was that sometimes a day doesn’t go as planned. That’s what we acknowledged to ourselves.

We didn’t stuff our anger deep inside our guts. And we didn’t hold vow revenge or hold a grudge against the restaurant.

On this occasion we simply acknowledged the imperfection of the moment, and then moved forward with our day.

Sometimes that’s the best answer.


This post was written by Marcus Brotherton. You can find the original post here:  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/06/frustrated-permission-granted-to-do-nothing/

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Spotting a Jesus follower

7/14/2014

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The word Christian may only be nine letters, but it’s a big ‘ole word.

With the reformation underway in American Christianity, there’s been a lot of talk over what that word actually means and who gets to use it. Some people on both the left and right see themselves as gatekeepers and are busy declaring who is, and who is not, a Christian. This is in part because of our human nature to judge others (the desire to judge others being the original sin from the Garden of Eden) and in part because the term has become fluid. Let’s be honest– there’s a LOT of different people under the umbrella that is “Christianity”.

First, I’m not a fan of saying who is or who is not a Christian– it’s a big religion with lots of different expressions, and I’m the last person qualified to be a gatekeeper of who is allowed to use the term. Secondly, some have suggested we stop using the term altogether, which I’m not a fan of either. “Christian” is a beautiful term from our early days of a faith tradition, and you’re not going to see my name on the list of people who think we just dump it.

However, I do think the term “Jesus follower” is a more helpful term to interject into the conversation. While “Christian” can mean a million different things, “Jesus follower” is a little more definable because by definition, this would be an individual who is living a life that follows the example we find in Jesus.

I’m proud to be a Christian, but I long to be a Jesus follower. It’s what I strive for. It’s what I want to be when I grow up. It’s what this movement was all about.

While it’s not always easy to tell who is or is not a Christian, I think a Jesus follower is observable. One doesn’t need to tell you they’re a Jesus follower, because you’ll be able to see by how they live, whether or not it’s true.

As I look at the Jesus I find in the New Testament, I think there are a few hallmarks of what it looks like to follow him– traits that can be observed to “spot a Jesus follower”:

1. A Jesus follower likes to talk about him, but they do it in such a way that it causes you to want to know more, not less.

Someone who is following Jesus will be passionate about him– and as a result, they’ll talk about him. However, they’ll do it in such a way that attracts people instead of repelling them. In the New Testament, we see the way Jesus communicated his message was appealing to the point that he couldn’t go anywhere without attracting a big crowd. Followers of Jesus talk about him naturally and passionately but in a way that, like him, attract listeners. (The religious elite being the one exception to this rule both for Jesus and his followers).

2. A Jesus follower embraces enemy love.

One of the central teachings of Jesus is nonviolent love of enemies. It’s actually one area where he draws some pretty hard lines– lines that make both the left and right uncomfortable. It is important to understand however, that the life of Jesus is one giant testimony of enemy love– one that culminates with his death on the cross– the precise moment where he nonviolently died for his enemies.  It only makes sense that someone who is actually following Jesus would follow his teachings and example. I can still hear Jesus saying, “if you only love those who love you, what reward is there in that?” His followers know this and hold what is still, a very unpopular belief.

3. A Jesus follower is the one who is full of compassion for outsiders and the weak.

Here’s a challenge: re-read the Gospels with a fresh eye, and count the number of times you hear the term “and Jesus was filled with compassion”. I promise, you’ll be shocked (head start: Mark 6:3, Matt 9:36, Mark 8:2). When I first noticed this in the Gospels, it was one of those moments when the words jumped off the page and became a “I can’t believe I didn’t see this before” experience. When Jesus saw people, his first response was that of compassion– his followers, by nature, are the same.

4. A Jesus follower is the one who is quickest to show others mercy.

Jesus once faced off with the religious elite of his time who were colluding with the power of Empire and oppressing the weak. When he did, he dismissed them and famously said: “go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice”.

One of the core aspects of the message of Jesus is one of mercy. He went to the cross on our behalf as an act of mercy. He stopped the execution of a condemned woman and told her “neither do I condemn you”, as an act of mercy. He was busy healing the sick, because he loved to show mercy. Jesus was a man who had mercy at the core of his being. If you want to distinguish a Christian from a Jesus follower, just look for the one who is advocating the position that shows the most mercy (including gratuitous forgiveness)– because that’s the heart of Jesus.

5. A Jesus follower is the one who, when they describe what God is like, describe Jesus.

Jesus followers get what Jesus meant when he said “if you have seen me, you’ve seen the father”, and they believe the author of Hebrews who wrote that Jesus was the “exact representation” of God’s being. This means that if you want to be able to spot a Jesus follower, look for the person who is describing a God who looks EXACTLY like Jesus. If Jesus is the exact representation of God, we know that nothing else– including the violent portraits of God in the Old Testament– can be the “exact representation” of God. Jesus followers are sold out on exclusively following Jesus because they realize that in all of human history, the only time God’s exact essence was revealed to us was done through the mirror image of Christ.

///

So what’s the point of being able to spot a Jesus follower– is it so we can judge who is not? May it never be. Instead, being able to spot a Jesus follower is crucial for our own spiritual vitality. If the Jesus path is the one you wish to travel, the best thing you can do is find others who are already on it, and walk together with them.

Yes, I am a Christian– but I long to be a Jesus follower. I want to walk this path, and I want to do the things that Jesus did. However, I don’t want to walk the path alone.

Perhaps we can find a way together.

This post was written by Benjamin Corey.  For the original post, go to:  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/5-ways-you-can-spot-a-jesus-follower/


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Sunday Meditation

7/13/2014

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He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Isaiah 40:29

Grief is exhausting. Physically we are fatigued. Mentally we are spent. Emotionally we are drained. Spiritually we are crushed. Weariness seems to cast a shadow over all of life. We drag through the days. We are without strength and without power.

Our bodies need to be refreshed with sleep and recreation. Our minds need to be stimulated with hopeful thoughts about our future. Our hearts need to be soothed. Our spirits need to be infused with a desire to engage in life again.

God comes to us in the weariness and weakness of grief with gifts of strength and power. God does not shame us for our weakness. God does not reject us for being too weary to function. We may be tempted to refuse God's gifts either because we want to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, or because we don't believe we are entitled to receive good gifts. But, nevertheless, God offers us good gifts in seasons of grief. God offers strength and power. When we can admit our need and are ready to be honored by the Giver of these gifts, they can be ours.

I am weary, Lord.
Sometimes I think I am suppose to stay weary.
I do not feel entitled to be strong.
And sometimes I want to manage without your help.
I don't feel that I deserve help.

Thank you for your offer of strength and power. 
Give me strength today.
Give me the power I need to make it through this day.
Give me the grace to accept your gifts.
Strengthen and empower me as I grieve today.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

National Association for Christian Recovery




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Grab my hand

7/12/2014

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“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12

Imagine this scenerio for a moment. A man is walking along the 10th floor of a new office building that is in the middle of construction. The walls are bare and leave a lot to be desired, and the only functional way of going up and down is the few sets of stair cases on either end of the building. This man is going from room to room, imagining what the offices are going to look like, and he is hopeful that everything will come to reality soon.

This man is a business owner and knows that when this building is complete, his company will be housed in this brand new place. The 10th floor. He imagines where the desks will go, the colors that could be on the walls, and even where the outlets will best fit. He goes from room to room and sees such hope in this place. He is so excited about what could be, and what will come to pass.

As this man is walking, he gets distracted by his own daydreaming, and falls into the empty elevator shaft. Luckily, he is able to immediately grab a metal beam in between floors. There he hangs for hours, screaming at the top of his lungs. He wants to be safe again…he wants to be free. He is yelling for help, because he is afraid that he will drop to his doom any minute.

Suddenly, a construction worker on the 9th floor hears his cry. He runs to this poor man’s rescue. He is safe! “Grab my hand”, yells the construction worker. The remedy for this man’s fear and ultimate doom is only an arm’s length away. It is as easy as simply reaching out a hand. But wait…the man who is in danger of losing his life refuses the outstretched hand. “My dreams are on the 10th floor!”, he yells…referring to the business that will soon go into that space and the lifelong dream this man had while building this company. “I promise…I will take you to the 10th floor after I rescue you. Please trust me. Grab my hand!” the construction worker says. The man refused and  fell the rest of the building length to his demise.

This man had a choice…reach out his hand for the rescue being offered, or be so in love with his immediate desires that he loses his own life.

Each day, we have an awesome opportunity to choose life. We can choose to live our own life falling in love with our own goals, or we can choose to reach out and grab the hand of Jesus to give us life and more passion to live every day with our goals backed up by His power.

Grab His hand. 

Choose to live.


This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2014/07/07/grab-my-hand-monday-musings/



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