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Praying like a man

9/20/2017

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Have you ever noticed that Christians speak normally to one another, but when they speak to aloud to God they lapse into a strange language and tone? I call this “prayer-speak” and it’s epidemic in evangelical churches today.

Prayer-speak is especially prevalent among worship leaders.

Prayer speak silences men. Guys who might otherwise pray aloud are intimidated because they don’t know the “prayer code.” 


A guy might be tempted to open his mouth and say, “God, I got a problem.” But he keeps quiet because his oration doesn’t sound holy enough.

The other problem with prayer-speak is that it makes our prayers sound rather wimpy. Here is a prayer I heard recently from a musician as he closed his first set:

Dear God, we need you. God, we just need your love. God, we just need your presence.  Father be with us in this time of worship. Lord just send your spirit so that every heart is touched. Father, that no one would go home the same.

Lord, I just pray that we would run into your arms and seek safety there. Father nothing compares to your love for us.

Father God we just pray that we would honor you in all we do. Lord, give us boldness to proclaim your word to every nation. Father make us your witnesses unto the ends of the earth. We just pray that your Word would go out into the world and change lives.

Father we just ask all these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Does this sound familiar? You probably heard something like it last Sunday.

I don’t really have a problem with what the prayer said. It’s how it was said.

Notice the prayer invoked the name of God twelve times – at the beginning of each sentence. This is just odd. Did Jesus instruct us to repeat God’s name over and over when we pray? When we speak to a flesh-and-blood person do we say their name each time we open our mouths? “Jeremy, thanks for having lunch with me. Jeremy, what will you be ordering? I’m thinking about the tilapia, Jeremy. Jeremy, can you pass the salt?”

And what’s with the frequent use of the word just? Placing a just before a verb softens it. It gives our prayers the sound of a beggar. Would you just give me a crust of bread, God? Lord, I’m just a miserable sinner, just begging you for some little thing.

We are God’s sons, not his slaves. John Wesley said, “Storm the Throne of Grace and persevere therein, and mercy will come down.” We should enter his presence with appropriate confidence. The tone of our prayers should reflect our place as God’s beloved children. Jesus was bold and familiar with his Father; we should be too.

Let’s reimagine the prayer above:

Lord, in the next hour we’re going to set aside all our worries and burdens and ask you to take care of those. We want to focus on what’s really important, but we’re so easily distracted by things that don’t matter. Forgive us for that.

We’re a needy people. We are nothing without you and your Spirit. We get beat up by life all week long, and we need this time with you. Thanks for loving us.

And we know you have a mission for us. You called us to be your witnesses, but we’re scared. We shouldn’t be – but we are. Next time we have an opportunity to speak up for you, fill us with your power.

We really look forward to this time in your presence. Speak to us now. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Feel the difference between the two prayers? They say basically the same things, but the second prayer sounds confident. You feel it in you gut. It’s not repetitive, hesitant or sing-songy. It’s surprising in its candor. It’s not stuffed with the usual churchy phrases.

Guys, we need to start modeling boldness in prayer. The next time you have an opportunity to pray aloud in a group I challenge you to do three things:
  1. Invoke the name of God once, at the beginning.
  2. Don’t place the word “just” before the verbs.
  3. Speak to God as if he’s a real person. Make your prayer as conversational and “normal” as possible.​

When our prayers sound like real conversation with a real God, more men will join in.


This post was written by David Murrow.  You can find the original post here:  http://churchformen.com/discipling-men/how-to-pray-aloud-like-a-man/

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This is our future

9/19/2017

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It's the great company at the party in Titanic that brings such happy tears. It's the boys making it safely home in Apollo 13. It's Maximus reunited with his family. So the fellowship finds Gandalf alive—no longer Gandalf the Grey, fallen beyond recovery in the mines of Moria, but Gandalf the White, whom death can never touch again. So Frodo and Sam are rescued from the slopes of Mount Doom, and when they wake, it is to a bright new morn. This is our future.

After he laid down his life for us, Jesus was laid in a tomb. He was buried just like any other dead person. Family and friends mourned. Enemies rejoiced. And most of the world went on with business as usual, clueless to the Epic around them. Then, after three days, also at dawn, his story took a sudden and dramatic turn.

Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?" But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. "Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples . . . 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.'" (Mark 16:2-7)

Jesus came back. He showed up again. He was restored to them. He walked into the house where they had gathered to comfort one another in their grief and asked if they had anything to eat. It was the most stunning, unbelievable, happiest ending to a story you could possibly imagine. And it is also ours.

This post is an excerpt from the book, Epic by John Eldredge

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Don't listen to whispers

9/18/2017

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Any movement toward freedom and life, any movement toward God or others, will be opposed. Marriage, friendship, beauty, rest-the thief wants it all. 

So, it becomes the devil's business to keep the Christian's spirit imprisoned.


He knows that the believing and justified Christian has been raised up out of the grave of his sins and trespasses. From that point on, Satan works that much harder to keep us bound and gagged, actually imprisoned in our own grave clothes. He knows that if we continue in this kind of bondage. . . we are not much better off than when we were spiritually dead. 

Sadly, many of these accusations will actually be spoken by Christians. 


Having dismissed a warfare worldview, they do not know who is stirring them to say certain things. "Satan rose up against Israel and incited David to take a census of Israel" (1 Chron. 21:1). The Enemy used David, who apparently wasn't watching for it, to do his evil. He tried to use Peter too. "From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things . . . Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 'Never, Lord!' he said. 'This shall never happen to you!' Jesus turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan!'" (Matt. 16:21-23). 

Heads up - these words will come from anywhere. Be careful what or who you are agreeing with.

When we make those agreements with the demonic forces suggesting things to us, we come under their influence. It becomes a kind of permission we give the Enemy, sort of like a contract.

Some foul spirit whispers, I'm such a stupid idiot, and they agree with it; then they spend months and years trying to sort through feelings of insignificance. 



They'd end their agony if they'd treat it for the warfare it is, break the agreement they've made, and send the Enemy packing.


This post is an excerpt from Waking the Dead by John Eldredge.

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Uncle Buddy:  And the dogs licked up his blood

9/17/2017

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We want to notice again that in Genesis 9th chapter 6th verse God said, "Whosoever sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed." God said it was because man was made in the image of God. As far as I can find, this is the only reason why one man shouldn't kill another, because God said that man was made in His image. And that proves that any being who is made in the image of God is not to be killed by man, and now we will see that these Scriptures were fulfilled, for we have just read that "he that sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed."

We read in I Kings 21st chapter, that Ahab and Jezebel wanted to buy a vineyard that belonged to Naboth, and Naboth did not desire to sell his vineyard, and refused to take their offer, whereupon Queen Jezebel laid a plan whereby they might get Naboth's vineyard. She notified the leaders of Israel to proclaim a great feast, and while the feast was on, to prefer charges against Naboth, as though he had committed some bad crime, and take him out and stone him to death. They stoned him at the pool of Samaria, and the dogs licked up his blood, whereupon, Jezebel called Ahab, and told him to go down and take possession of Naboth's vineyard, for said she, "Naboth is dead, and is not alive," and God sent the Prophet Elijah to meet Ahab at Naboth's vineyard, and Elijah said, "Behold, in the same place that the dogs licked up Naboth's blood, shall the dogs lick up thy blood, even thine." And we read that Ahab was killed in battle, and brought back to the pool of Samaria in a chariot, and that the blood was washed out of the chariot, and the dogs licked it up where they did the blood of Naboth.

Then Elijah declared again that the dogs would eat the flesh of Jezebel, and we turn and read in II Kings, the 9th chapter and the 36th verse, that when Jehu was anointed king and went into Samaria and had a great feast, that Jezebel dressed up and looked down from the upper story at the young king. He commanded his servants to go up and pitch her out of the window head foremost into the streets and kill her, and when his dinner was over, he told the servants to go and bury her, but behold the dogs had eaten her up, and nothing remained but her head and feet and palms of her hands. Then Jehu said, "This is the word of the Lord, that the dogs shall eat up Jezebel."


Robinson, Reuben A. (Bud). The Collected Works of 'Uncle Bud' Robinson (Kindle Locations 2592-2609). Jawbone Digital. Kindle Edition. 



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All creatures of our God and King

9/16/2017

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All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing,
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Thou burning sun with golden beam,
Thou silver moon with softer gleam!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou rushing wind that art so strong
Ye clouds that sail in Heaven along,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou rising moon, in praise rejoice,
Ye lights of evening, find a voice!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou flowing water, pure and clear,
Make music for thy Lord to hear,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou fire so masterful and bright,
That givest man both warmth and light.

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Dear mother earth, who day by day
Unfoldest blessings on our way,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
The flowers and fruits that in thee grow,
Let them His glory also show.

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

And all ye men of tender heart,
Forgiving others, take your part,
O sing ye! Alleluia!
Ye who long pain and sorrow bear,
Praise God and on Him cast your care!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

And thou most kind and gentle Death,
Waiting to hush our latest breath,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou leadest home the child of God,
And Christ our Lord the way hath trod.

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Let all things their Creator bless,
And worship Him in humbleness,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Praise, praise the Father, praise the Son,
And praise the Spirit, Three in One!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!


Date:  1125
Author:  Francis of Assisi
Music:  Ralph Vaughan Williams



Story:
From the grateful heart of a devoted Italian monk in the year of 1225 came this beautiful message. 

As a great lover of nature, Saint Francis of Assisi saw the hand of God in all creation. He demonstrated through his own life all the tender, humble, forgiving spirit and absolute trust in God that his hymn urges others to have. At the age of 25, St. Francis left an indulgent fife as a soldier, renounced his inherited wealth, and determined to live meagerly and to imitate the selfless life of Christ. 

Throughout his life Saint Francis appreciated the importance of church music and encouraged singing in his monastery. He wrote more than 60 hymns for this purpose. The beautiful expressions of praise in All Creatures of Our God and King have endured throughout the centuries.


Bible Verse
Psalm 69:34 - Let Heaven and earth praise Him, the seas and all that move in them.

The hymn and story for this hymn was taken from this website:  www.popularhymns.com/all_creatures_of_our_god_and_king.php



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Shattered chains

9/15/2017

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Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyoneʼs chains came loose.- Acts 16:26


Are you the type of person that could be categorized as an impatient prayer? You know, someone who believes they should pray but if God doesn't answer in your timing then you take matter in your own hands... It is a common occurrence and I can honestly say that I fall into this group more often than not. I am asking God to give me a heart of faithful obedience in this area.


There is one group of Christians that my heart breaks for...It is the group that act as if prayer is really not as powerful as scripture says it is, and who would pray as a last resort. 


I had an in depth conversation with a few friends the other day and they seemed really concerned that a pastor called them to pray over a certain attitude they had in regards to a strained relationship. In their mind, the pastor was not "taking their concern seriously" when he asked them to pray. They wanted a more concrete answer. They wanted justice.


As I spoke with this group, I realized that they were having trouble grasping the unbelievable power of prayer. They didn't think about the fact that circumstances change and God responds when we cry out to Him.


Paul and Silas were in prison with no apparent hope of escape. When I close my eyes and picture the scene, I can almost hear the hymns they sang and see the slight grin on their faces as they remembered that they had a secret weapon all along. They knew prayer works. For them, prayer was the most extreme action step. They knew God was on their side. They didn't just approach the throne of grace, they sprinted to it.


Don't use prayer as a last resort. Pray with anticipation and even when God doesn't answer right away, remember that He has an incredible plan. He can shatter your chains too.


Prayer for today: Lord, help me to remember how powerful you are. Give me the courage to wait and the confidence to praise in the face of adversity. Amen

​
This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  
​You can find his blog here: www.ministrysauce.com



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Two ways we miss the Gospel

9/14/2017

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Humans have a fascinating propensity to swing the pendulum. Like an instinctive throwback to our childhood days on the school playground, we almost find joy in stomach butterflies created by the repetitive back and forth. When we see an area of abuse, misuse, brokenness, or failure, we assume the opposite is the answer. We prescribe to offset the abuse with equal balance, rather than seeking to return it to wholeness and original design.

Not even the Gospel of Jesus Christ is immune to this phenomenon.

I see two main ways we completely miss the message of the Gospel – two swings of the pendulum, two opposite extremes, two ways of taking a portion of the message and turning it into the whole message – and I believe both are hijacking humanity’s understanding of true Christianity.

The first we’ll call Moralism. Or Legalism. Pharisaism (if you like big theological words). This side of the pendulum is typically associated with religious people, and understandably so. But moralism isn’t a religious problem, it’s a human problem.

Moralism screams, “There is a standard and I will meet it! In many ways, moralism the default setting of the human heart. We instinctively celebrate the meritocracy of those who “get it right” and malign those who so obviously and pitifully fall short of the standard. The only problem for moralists is that Scripture clearly says we all miss the standard.

Here are a few ways the moralism side of the pendulum swings away from the true Gospel:

Moralism creates horizontal comparison and always leads to pride or despair. In Luke 18, the Pharisee arrogantly prays, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people.” Last week on our way to dinner, my wife told me I was driving way too fast. My instinctive reaction was to remind her which of the two of us has more speeding tickets! My comparison was no longer with the posted speed limit, but with my wife’s driving record. This is what moralism does. We no longer compare ourselves to the Father’s standard but with other fallen people. When that comparison is favorable, we feel a sense of self-righteous pride. When it’s unfavorable, we fall into shame and condemnation. This isn’t the message of the Gospel.

Moralism dumbs down God’s standard of righteousness to an attainable level. Moralists misdefine sin. They look at outward words and behaviors when Jesus so clearly looked at the heart. The Sermon on the Mount wasn’t good advice from Jesus on how to live a nice, moral life. It was intentionally crushing demands from God incarnate intended to leave us pleading “who then can be saved?” Jesus didn’t lower the standard, he upped the ante! The Gospel does not offer us a dumbed down standard of righteousness.

Moralism makes ME the savior. If righteousness is a standard I can meet, then when I achieve that standard I am my own savior. As a recovering moralist, the Gospel did not really come alive to me until I had lived long enough to realize how huge God’s standard of righteousness actually is and how far short of it I actually fall. The Gospel leaves no room for self-salvation.

But the answer to religious moralism isn’t the removal of morals. The opposite arc of this pendulum is equally off-base.

We’ll call it Progressivism. Or Human Enlightenment. Or antinomianism (if you once again like big theological words). If moralism says I will meet the standard, progressivism says I will REMOVE the standard. This swing is typically associated with “secular” people, but unfortunately it finding it’s way into the Church, too.

Here are a few ways the progressive side of the pendulum swings away from the true Gospel:

Progressivism seeks first to remove the standard. Romans 1:21 tells us plainly, “Yes they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship as God or even give Him thanks.” Individuality is one of the dominant gods of our day. When I was a kid, my parents wanted us to stop watching TV and do something together. Now I find myself begging the family to put down their own individual entertainment devices so we can watch a TV show together! Everything is personalized, even our definition of righteousness. And like the serpent in the Garden, our personal preferences whisper deceptively in our ears, “did God really say?” The Gospel leaves no room for self-defined righteousness.

Progressivism always results in the creation of a new standard. “And they began to think up new ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused.” (Rom 1:21). The problem with removing God from the equation is that human beings will always worship something. As our individualized worship begins to bump up against one another, a new set of cultural standards develops with new human arbiters. Our God-stamped identities long for the truth, joy, and beauty of His Kingdom, and so we try to create it (without the King). The Gospel leaves no room for other Kings.

Progressivism makes ME the savior. If I can make the standard or just remove it altogether, I become my own savior. Or perhaps I just eliminate my need for a savior altogether. The Gospel leaves no room for self-salvation.

Sound familiar? It should. Moralism and Progressivism are just two sides of the same self-righteous coin. Moralism redefines the standard in a way I am able to meet, progressivism just removes the standard altogether. Both put me at the helm, me at the center, me on the throne. Neither swing of this pendulum is the Gospel. In fact, they’re the anti-gospel.

There are three aspects to what I’ll call a “Wholistic” Gospel:

The Law Crushes. The purpose of God’s Law is not just to give us great advice to live by, it’s to completely destroy any and all confidence in our flesh. If we don’t first grasp the immeasurable weight of God’s Law, then there’s no need for Grace.

Grace Resurrects. As Brennan Manning so eloquently put it, “all is grace!” We are incapable of living the lives God designed us to live without the merciful gift of Jesus Christ. The Gospel is not about making bad people good, but dead people live!

The Spirit Empowers. This is one element often left out of the conversation. Romans 6 tells us that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead now dwells in us! (Chew on that for a minute). We are now empowered to live lives pleasing to God because His very Spirit dwells in our grace-resurrected bodies. It’s not our ability to meet God’s standard, but His power in us!

This is the good news. The WHOLE Gospel. Jesus Christ has done for us what we could never do for ourselves! Get off the swinging pendulum and find real life in the center of this beautiful Gospel message.

This post was written by Erik Cooper. You can find his original post here:  beyondtherisk.com/2017/08/02/the-two-main-ways-we-completely-miss-the-gospel/



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The God of Elijah (part two)

9/13/2017

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I was awakened by the direct ray of the sun through the single window of our attic.  "This isn't rain!"  I said.  It was already past seven o'clock.  I got up knelt down and prayed.  "Lord," I said, "please send the rain!"  

But once again, ringing in my ears came the word:  "Where is the God of Elijah?"  

Humbled, I walked downstairs before God in silence.  We sat down to breakfast -- eight of us together, including our host -- all very quiet.  There was no cloud in the sky, but we knew God was committed.  As we bowed to say grace before the food, I said, "I think the time is up.  Rain must come now.  We can bring it to the Lord's remembrance."  Quietly we did so, and this time the answer came with no hint whatsoever of rebuke in it.

"Where is the God of Elijah?"  Even before our Amen, we heard a few drops on the tiles.  There was a steady shower as we ate our rice and were served with a second bowl.  "Let us give thanks again," I said, and now we asked God for heavier rain.  As we began on that second bowl of rice, the rain was coming down in buckets-full.  By the time we had finished, the street outside was already deep in water and the three steps at the door of house were covered.

Soon we heard what had happened in the village.  Already, at the first drop of rain, a few of the younger generation had begun to say openly:  "There is God there is no more Ta-wang!  He is kept in by the rain!"  But he wasn't.  They carried him out on a sedan chair.  Surely he would stop the shower!  Then came the downpour.  After only some 10 or 12 yards, three of the coolies stumbled and fell.  Down went the chair and Ta-wang with it, fracturing his jaw and his left arm.  Still determined, they carried out emergency repairs and put him back in the chair.  Somehow, slipping and stumbling, they dragged or carried him half-way around the village.  Then the floods defeated them.  Some of the village elders, old men of 60 to 80 years, bareheaded and without umbrellas as their faith in Ta-wang's weather required, had fallen and were in serious difficulties.  The procession was stopped and the idol was taken into the house.  Divination was made.  "Today was the wrong day," came the answer.  "The festival is to be on the 14th with the procession at six in the evening."

Immediately when we heard this, there came the assurance in our hearts:  "God will send rain on the 14th."  We went to prayer:  "Lord, send rain on the 14th at 6.00 pm and give us four good days until then."  That afternoon the sky cleared, and now we had a good hearing for the Gospel.  The Lord gave us over thirty converts -- real ones -- in the village and in the island during those three short days.  The 14th broke, another perfect day, and we had good meetings.  As the evening approached we met, and again, at the appointed hour, we quietly brought the matter to the Lord's remembrance.  Not a minute later, His answer came with torrential rains and floods as before.

The next day, our time was up and we had to leave.  For us, the essential point was that satan's power in that idol had been broken, and that is an eternal thing.  Ta-wang was no more "an effective god."  The salvation of souls would follow, but was in itself secondary to this vital and unchanging fact.

The impression on us was a lasting one.  God had committed Himself.  We had tasted the authority of the name that is above every name -- the name that has power in heaven and earth and hell. In those few days we had known what it is to be, as we say, "in the center of God's will."


This is an excerpt from the book, SIT, WALK, STAND by Watchman Nee.  For the first part of this story, click here:   www.ironstrikes.com/blog/the-god-of-elijah-part-one3188833


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The God of Elijah (part one)

9/12/2017

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On January 9th, we were outside preaching.  Brother Wu with some others were in one part of the village and suddenly asked publicly:  "Why will none of you believe?" Someone in the crowd replied at once, "What have a god -- one god -- Ta-wang (Great King), and he has never failed us.  He is an effective god."  

"How do you know you can trust him?" asked Wu.  "We have held his festival procession every January for 286 years.  The chosen day is revealed by divination beforehand, and every year without fail, his day is a perfect one without rain or cloud," was the reply.  "When is the procession this year?"  "It is fixed for January 11th at eight in the morning."  "Then," said brother Wu impetuously, "I promise you that it will certainly rain on the 11th."  At once there was an outburst of cries from the crowd:  "That is enough!  We don't want to hear anymore preaching.  IF there is rain on the 11th, then your God is God!"

I was elsewhere in the village when this occurred.  As soon as I heard of it, I saw that it was most serious.  The news had spread like wildfire, and before long, over 20,000 people would know about it.  What were we to do?  We stopped our preaching at once, and gave ourselves to prayer.  We asked the Lord to forgive us if we had overstepped ourselves.  I tell you, we were in deadly earnest.  What had we done?  Had we made a terrible mistake, or dare we ask God for a miracle?

The more you want an answer to prayer from God, the more you desire to be clear with Him.  There must be not doubt about fellowship--no shadow between.  If your faith were in coincidence you could afford to have a controversy with Him, but not otherwise.  We did not mind being thrown out if we had done something wrong.  After all, you can't drag God into a thing that is against His will!  But, we reflected, this would mean an end to the Gospel testimony in this island, and Ta-wang would reign supreme forever.  What should we do?  Should we leave now?  

Up to this point, we had feared to pray for rain.  Then like a flash, there came the word to me:  "Where is the God of Elijah?"  It came with such clarity and power that I knew that it was from God.  Confidently, I announced to the brothers, "I have an answer.  The Lord will send rain on the 11th."  Together we thanked Him, and then, full of praise, we went out--all seven of us--and told everyone.  We could accept the devil's challenge in the name of the Lord, and we would broadcast our acceptance.

As we went to our evening prayer, we all began once more to pray for rain -- now!  That it was that there came to us a stern rebuke from the Lord:  "Where is the God of Elijah?"  Were we going to fight our way thru this battle, or were we going to rest in the finished victory of Christ?  What had Elisha done when he spoke those words?  He had laid claim in his own personal experience to the very miracle that that his lord Elijah, now in the glory, had himself performed.  In New Testament terms, he had taken his stand by faith on the ground of a finished work.

We confessed our sins again.  "Lord," we said, "we don't need rain until the 11th morning."  We went to bed and the next morning (the 10th) we set off for a neighboring island for a day's preaching.  The Lord was very gracious, and that day three families turned to Him, confessing Him publicly and burning their idols.  We returned late, tired out but rejoicing.  We could afford to sleep late tomorrow.


This is an excerpt from the book, SIT, WALK, STAND by Watchman Nee.  Tomorrow, we will see the result of Brother Wu's bold faith in the God of Elijah.

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Angry?  Try doing nothing...for a change

9/11/2017

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“About five, ten minutes tops,” the hostess assures us. “We’ll get you right in.”

We are suckers for this particular eatery, my wife and I, and they don’t take reservations for breakfast, so we agree to wait. Still, I remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry, Elaine, and George hear the same thing only to spend the next thirty minutes waiting for a table.

Fifteen minutes tick by. Twenty. Our two older kids are getting crabby, their stomachs growling. Twenty-five. Thirty. Our third child, the baby, needs to eat and begins to give kitten-like yelps of angst.

At the thirty-five minute mark we sigh and head for home and cold cereal. We’ve already reached our car when the hostess runs outside and shouts across the street—“Your table is ready!”

The situation has become laughable, but this place serves up the best cinnamon rolls in town. So we trudge inside, get shown to our table, and sit. Our waitress takes our order. After that we wait some more. And wait. And wait. There’s no casual swing-by from the waitress to say, “Your order will be right up.”

Finally, a whopping fifty minutes after our order is taken, our food arrives.

This has become a bad morning. I wanted this day to be special for my family, but no one’s in a good mood anymore.

When the check arrives, there’s no apology from the waitress, no plausible explanation of being shorthanded today, no murmured account of a new cook being broken in, no visit from the restaurant’s manager to comp us a free meal.

Only the check.

Typically I am a generous and affirming restaurant patron. Years ago I worked as a waiter, so I understand how slowdowns can occur.

But I am fuming. I want to say something to the management, only I don’t trust what might come out of my mouth.

What would you do?

It’s healthy to be assertive.

It’s good to speak up and say what you need to say. To do what you need to do.

In this particular case I considered confronting the waitress or manager after our meal was eaten, (never confront before—you never know who might spit in your soup). But neither of them were around when we wanted to leave, so I didn’t bother.

I simply paid the bill and didn’t leave a tip with the thought that the message would filter up through the ranks.

Then I talked over the situation with my wife on the way home.

And here’s where this story takes a twist--

Both of us acknowledged to each other the disappointment we felt on a morning we’d hoped would be special. We purposely named our feelings of anger to each other.

We discussed the merits of taking further action.

·       We could phone the restaurant, talk to the manager, and demand our money back.

·       We could leave a scathing review online.

But in the end decided in this case we wouldn’t do either.

We would do nothing.

Why?

Because the effort didn’t seem worth our time.

Instead, we wanted to do other activities with our family throughout the weekend. We wanted to put the event behind us and move forward.

In the end, you could call our response a lament of sorts. Not a lament with any deep mourning attached to it, or a grin-and-bear lament that shrugged off the experience completely, or a lament where we went around sad-faced the rest of the day.

Just a simple recognition that life is imperfect.

We’d eaten at this restaurant before and the experience had been great. Lots of people in town liked this restaurant. So there must have been some extenuating circumstances around this day to make our seating and service so slow.

Our conclusion was that sometimes a day doesn’t go as planned. That’s what we acknowledged to ourselves.

We didn’t stuff our anger deep inside our guts. And we didn’t hold vow revenge or hold a grudge against the restaurant.

On this occasion we simply acknowledged the imperfection of the moment, and then moved forward with our day.

Sometimes that’s the best answer.

This post was written by Marcus Brotherton. You can find the original post here:  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/06/frustrated-permission-granted-to-do-nothing/

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