Blog Archives

Restoration

10/21/2013

Look at the life of Jesus. Notice what he did. When Jesus touched the blind, they could see; all the beauty of the world opened before them. When he touched the deaf, they were able to hear; for the first time in their lives they heard laughter and music and their children's voices. He touched the lame, and they jumped to their feet and began to dance. And he called the dead back to life and gave them to their families.

Do you see? Wherever humanity was broken, Jesus restored it. He is giving us an illustration here, and there, and there again. The coming of the kingdom of God restores the world he made.

God has been whispering this secret to us through creation itself, every year, at springtime, ever since we left the Garden. Sure, winter has its certain set of joys. The wonder of snowfall at midnight, the rush of a sled down a hill, the magic of the holidays. But if winter ever came for good and never left, we would be desolate. Every tree leafless, every flower gone, the grasses on the hillsides dry and brittle. The world forever cold, silent, bleak.

After months and months of winter, I long for the return of summer. Sunshine, warmth, color, and the long days of adventure together. The garden blossoms in all its beauty. The meadows soft and green. Vacation. Holiday. Isn't this what we most deeply long for? To leave the winter of the world behind, what Shakespeare called "the winter of our discontent," and find ourselves suddenly in the open meadows of summer?

If we listen, we will discover something of tremendous joy and wonder. The restoration of the world played out before us each spring and summer isprecisely what God is promising us about our lives. Every miracle Jesus ever did was pointing to this Restoration, the day he makes all things new.

This post is an excerpt from the book, Epic by John Eldredge

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

10/20/2013

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And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Sometimes it feels like our hearts are breaking.

And sometimes we worry that we will lose our minds.

Both our hearts and our minds need protection.

When we let go of the defenses that have protected us for so long, and we allow ourselves to be honest and vulnerable, it sometimes feels like we will 'come apart'. In these moments can find courage in God's promise of protection. God's peace can guard our breaking hearts and our troubled minds.

Notice that God's guardianship of our heart and mind is 'in Christ Jesus'. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God is 'for' us. God can be trusted to guard us because God cares about us. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God understands the dangers to our hearts and minds. God can be trusted to guard us because God knows from personal experience the dangers we face. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly God's power. God can be trusted to guard our hearts and minds because God has the resources to do what needs to be done.

The peace of God is not a 'blissed out' euphoria that helps us minimize or ignore our problems. God's peace does not participate in denial. This peace is not another Novocain, another 'fix' to alter our mood. It is the gentle guard that protects us so that we can face reality. It is the security that comes from knowing that God pays attention, that we are not forgotten, that God is with us, that we are loved.

Guard my breaking heart today, Lord.
Guard my troubled mind.
Let your peace do its work in me, Lord.
because I am in danger and I need your protection.
Guard me with your peace today.
Guard my heart and mind.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

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Under New Management

10/19/2013

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I have a few favorite restaurants in Indianapolis. Sometimes, which one I go to depends on what type of mood I am in or what sounds good in the moment. Several weeks ago, I went for a quick bite to eat at an Indian place that I have been to many times before…I was in the same location, and the decorations were also the same as before, but this time there was something different. I couldn’t really verbalize why it I thought things were

changed, but I could tell because I had been there many times
before. I recognized the difference in service and the slight change in product offered.

I have exerienced this same feeling when going to different types of businesses. The facility looks the same, but the quality of customer service and variety of products available is noticeably different. All of these experience had one thing in common…they were under new management.

The fact is when a business is under new management the implication is this change is for the better. For the sake of argument…let’s just say this is true . Whether this is true or not…there is definitely a difference in the quality of care that you receive.

When we surrender our hearts to Christ we are under new management. The fact that there is a new manager also tells the world that the quality of care and the “product” will be drastically different. God changes the way we operate. This change is not a result of legalistic rules and rituals, but a direct reflection of who is leading us.

God’s plans are much better than the ones we have created. When we put our lives in His hands, we find out there is a long-lasting joy and peace that can only be supplied by Him. God does not force His way upon us…but if we give ourselves to Him fully we are telling Him that all we have is His to use.

Today, pray that God will use you for HIs plan…..not the plan that we have created and told Him to bless.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2013/10/11/under-new-management/

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Setting captives free

10/18/2013

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Christ did not die for an idea. He died for a person, and that person is you. But there again, we have been led astray. Ask any number of people why Christ came, and you'll receive any number of answers, but rarely the real one. "He came to bring world peace." "He came to teach us the way of love." "He came to die so that we might go to heaven." "He came to bring economic justice." On and on it goes, much of it based in a partial truth. But wouldn't it be better to let him speak for himself ?

Jesus steps into the scene. He reaches back to a four-hundred-year-old prophecy to tell us why he's come. He quotes from Isaiah 61:1, which goes like this:

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.

The meaning of this quotation has been clouded by years of religious language and ceremonial draping. What is he saying? It has something to do with good news, with healing hearts, with setting someone free.

Christ could have chosen any one of a thousand other passages to explain his life purpose. But he did not. He chose this one; this is the heart of his mission. Everything else he says and does finds its place under this banner: "I am here to give you back your heart and set you free." That is why the glory of God is man fully alive: it's what he said he came to do. But of course. The opposite can't be true. "The glory of God is man barely making it, a person hardly alive." How can it bring God glory for his very image, his own children, to remain so badly marred, broken, captive?

This post is an excerpt from the book, Waking the Dead by John Eldredge

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Allowing child molesters into church

10/17/2013

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Yesterday, we noted three important factors to consider in regard to those who have a history of molesting children:
1.     As a church we have a responsibility to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Children are very vulnerable.
2.     Statistically, people who commit sexual crimes are rarely truly rehabilitated.
3.     People who commit sexual crimes are very good at making you think that they are rehabilitated when they really aren’t.

I have been professionally counseling men for 30+ years. Many of them for their sexual behavior and many of them appeared to be sincerely Christian men. Yet there have been some that have convinced me that they were totally innocent, that the charges were trumped up and that they were unjustly charged. However, upon further investigation, I found out that they were lying thru their teeth.

My experience has taught me a few things about safeguards. Let me share them with you:

First of all, most churches do this but I have run across some that don't: Every person who works in the church nursery, teaches children's Sunday School/Vacation Bible School, and/or is a Church Camp counselor, needs to sign an agreement to have his* background checked by the local authorities and the FBI. In fact, anyone who has repeated contact with children in any capacity in regard to a church function needs to have a background check. If you have someone who is working with children and didn't divulge his background, then that person needs to be confronted and the pastor needs to understand why the person felt a need to hide such information. This could very well be a legal as well as moral and spiritual issue.

Yet, a person who is truly desirous to fellowship in a church where there are children present, will talk to the pastor about his past before attending church. It would be advisable for the pastor to let the person know that the board will be informed of his past and that safeguards will be in place. Here are some recommended safeguards:

1. The person will sit up front, to the side, in the congregation. That way the only people he can see are the people on the stage. Also, it keeps him in full visibility of the congregation and pastor.
2. Several men will be appointed to keep an eye on the person. If he gets up to leave for any reason, he will be accompanied by at least one other man.
3. He will never enter the bathroom alone. In fact, it is advisable that the church appoint individuals to make rounds in the church bathrooms and other private/secluded areas of the church before, during and after the service from the time the church is unlocked until it is locked again.
4. He does not need to attend services when children will be up front on the stage for extended periods of time. If he is there, he needs to excuse himself until the children are not up front, or he should just go home.
5. He needs to be active in the Men's Ministry of the church and be accountable to that group of men.
6. He needs to meet with the pastor regularly for counsel, feedback and accountability.
7. He should never be allowed to work with children, in any capacity.
8. He should not be Facebook friends, or any other social media including texting with any minors in the church.

So, it is possible to allow a person with a criminal history of sexually abusing children to worship and fellowship in the church but he must be transparent and be willing to follow the recommended safeguards. If he cannot, then the church can go to where he is and fellowship with him at his home or a neutral location.

Or the obvious..... If you really want to minister to these individuals, consider a service that is for adults only... No minors allowed... Spaced far enough from the other service so that there is time to come and go without interacting with minors.

We don't need to write off these men, they need to grow spiritually as well. And you know, it will decrease child molestation in the long run too...

*The word "his" will be used throughout. The majority of those who sexually offend are males but that does not mean that the church should give an automatic pass to women. Women need to have background checks as well.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Can child molesters go to church?

10/16/2013

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The first generation Christians were brought out of evil. The power of Jesus radically changed these individuals. Look at the list of sins from which the first generation Christians were delivered: 1) sexual immorality, 2) idolatry, 3) adultery, 4) homosexuality, 5) greed, 6) drunkenness and 7) swindling.   I Cor 6:9-10

Did you catch that? The church treasurer who cooks the books is among the list of individuals who do things that the church vehemently speaks out against. Yet…

“…that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” I Cor 6:11

Did you also catch “that is what some of you were”? These individuals were brought out of their lifestyle and were justified.  Justified is a term that means “just as if I’d not sinned.”

So what did the early church do about individuals who committed the sexually immoral behavior of molesting children?

On this blog you will find a post written by a man who did just that and now can’t find a church that will accept him. I know another Christian man who 20+ years past his crime, paid for his crime, and has set up boundaries to not be around children, who is searching for a church that will accept him into their fellowship.

What is the church’s response to these individuals? We will accept the greedy person (“God I want you to bless me with a Cadillac”) and in fact will have opulent church potlucks where people that don’t need the rich foods pile it on. We forgive the church board member who cheats on his wife.

But what do we as a church do about individuals who committed the sexually immoral behavior of molesting children?

This is not an easy answer… There are three complicating but very important points to make before answering that question:

1.     As a church we have a responsibility to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Children are very vulnerable.

2.     Statistically, people who commit sexual crimes are rarely truly rehabilitated.

3.     People who commit sexual crimes are very good at making you think that they are rehabilitated when they really aren’t.

Knowing these three facts, as a church what should be our response to someone who is a sexual offender? Especially to those who have repented, become a sincere Christian; have turned away from their sinfulness and desire to have fellowship with other Christians? Tomorrow we will make some recommendations.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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One in 10 young Americans have committed sexual violence

10/15/2013

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Nearly one in ten young Americans has committed an act of sexual violence, a new study in the journal JAMA Pediatrics reports. Of the 1,058 teenagers and young adults, ages 14 to 21, who participated in the online study, 8% reported that they had kissed, touched, or “made someone else do something sexual” when they “knew the person did not want to.” Three percent of teens verbally coerced a victim into sex; 3% attempted to physically force them into sex; 2% perpetrated a completed rape.

It’s long been apparent that teenagers face an elevated risk for sexual abuse. One 1998 study found that 12% of high school girls and 5% of boys have been sexually abused; a 1997 study found that girls ages 16 to 19 are “four times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault." But this new report sheds light on the demographics, tactics, and attitudes of young sex offenders. One finding in particular stands out: The prototypical teen sexual abuser is a white male from a higher-income family.

Here’s what else the study found:

Demographics: Most perpetrators committed their first act of sexual violence at age 16. Boys are more likely to coerce or force others into sex than girls are (though girls offend, too). White kids and higher-income kids are slightly more likely to rape than their peers. Eighty percent of victims were girls; 18 percent were boys; 5 percent were transgender.

Pornography use: Teens who had watched porn were more likely to be perpetrators, but the discrepancy was “almost entirely explained by whether the material was violent in nature.” Teens who had seen non-violent pornography were equally likely to have committed sexual violence as teens who had seen none, but those who had watched material that “depicted one person hurting another person while doing something sexual” were more likely to be offenders (the study doesn't address causality).

Relationships: In every case, the victim was known to the perpetrator. Fifty-two percent met their victim at school. Three out of four perpetrators targeted a “boyfriend or girlfriend.” Two percent met online.

Tactics: Thirty-two percent of perpetrators argued or pressured another person into sex; 63 percent guilted them into it; 5 percent threatened physical force, and 8 percent used it. Fifteen percent employed alcohol.

Consequences: In 66 percent of cases, “no one found out” about the incident, and the perpetrator faced no consequences. Twenty-nine percent of perpetrators were found out, but were not punished. Eleven percent “got in trouble with their parents.” Just 2 percent—one perpetrator found by the study—was arrested. Seven percent of offenders said they felt “not at all responsible” for the sexual violence; 35 percent felt “completely” responsible; 48 percent felt “somewhat” responsible. Fifty percent felt that their victim was “completely” responsible. (Yes, the overlap confuses us as well.)

The study challenges several popular assumptions about teen sexual violence. Girls can be abusers, and boys can be victims. The study's authors suggest that in light of the findings on race and income, healthcare professionals "assess and perhaps challenge our assumptions about sexual violence as an ill solely conscripted to underprivileged populations." And given the significant proportion of crimes that were discovered but not reported—and the percentage of parents who took care of punishment in their own homes—the study speaks to the opportunity for peers, educators, and caretakers to take action when they discover that a young person in their lives has victimized another. The low percentage of punishment and the high percentage of perpetrators who blame their victims is not a heartening mix.

This post was written by A Hess. For the original post, go to: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/10/08/one_in_10_young_americans_has_committed_sexual_violence_new_study_finds.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Is love ever unconditional?

10/14/2013

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Every once in awhile we hear it: “unconditional love.” God has it; we should practice it.

But is love ever really unconditional? Or is this a nice phrase that sounds good but actually deceives?

Does God love unconditionally? Is unconditional love, in fact, psychologically possible?

At base these questions are one, since our capacity to love is part of God’s image in us.

This question actually reaches to the heart of today’s moral and ethical confusion. We are adrift because we have forgotten who God is, and the deep nature of his love. Modern ideas of love focus on emotion rather than character; shifting feelings rather than considered commitment. We go astray ethically when we measure love by fallen, self-centered human notions and emotions, not by God’s character as revealed in Jesus Christ. Humanity will continue to drift unless it again grasps what God’s love is—what it requires and costs.

Everyone likes the idea of unconditional love. It must be the loftiest kind of love, something like the romantic cliché, “endless love.” But does the idea even make sense? Certainly not without at least some clarification. Consider three cases:

Human Examples

A mother is having a test of wills with her two-year-old. The young boy wants to continue playing with his toys, but it’s time for bath and bed. Mom has already given him a five-minute grace period, after his first howling protests. Now she insists he will do as she says. She is not being unloving; her firmness is an expression of her concern for his well-being. Of course, the child doesn’t see it that way. Or doesn’t care. He simply wants his own will. If he could speak his feelings, he would probably say, “If you really loved me, you’d let me do what I want!”

As adults, we have little problem identifying with Mom here. We understand a child’s immaturity. Mom really is expressing love. But is it unconditional love? Yes, in the sense that she will continue loving her son even if he disobeys (if she is a healthy mother). But no, in the sense that, in this as many other situations, love itself requires conditions.

A harder case: Dick and Jane have been married for almost twenty years. It’s been a good marriage over all, with three healthy children. But problems have sprouted in the past couple of years. And recently Jane discovered that her husband has committed adultery.

Dick wants to continue the adulterous relationship. He also wants his wife to accept it, like an up-to-date, sensible person, and let the marriage continue. What does real love mean for Jane in this situation? If she really loves him unconditionally, won’t she accept her husband on his terms, as an expression of her love? Or will genuine love here require Jane to say, in effect: “It’s either me or her.” Sometimes (maybe always), genuine love requires conditions.

God’s Ultimate Love

So we come to the third, the ultimate case. The love of God, “greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell.” Human love may fail, but surely God’s love is unconditional, right?

Wrong.

God created man and woman and put them in the Garden. Conditionality were there from the start: “You are free . . . . But you must not . . .” (Gen. 2:16-17 NIV). The same truth runs throughout Scripture. And the logic of it undergirds the whole meaning of Jesus’ coming, death, and resurrection.

If God’s love were unconditional, the cross would be unnecessary. God does not love unconditionally. He loved so much that he sent his Son. And he loves so much that he will not, cannot, forgive and accept us as his redeemed children except on the basis of Jesus’ sacrifice. To do otherwise would betray the integrity of God’s own character. Precisely for this reason, acceptance without cost or sacrifice would betray the essential nature of love itself.

The cross is the ultimate proof that true love is never unconditional.

The same truth underlies the interrelationships of the three Persons of the Trinity. Here we are dealing with ultimate reality. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit love each other unreservedly and without limit, but not unconditionally. The condition of their mutual love is their mutual submission and self-giving. This is the profoundest, but most glorious and most hopeful, reality in the universe. In fact, it defines love.

True love is impossible without the potential for freely-given response. Therefore truly unconditional love is impossible. The reason for this is that love is all about personal relationships, about reciprocity. Genuine love is a relationship of mutuality between or among “sovereign” persons—“sovereign” in the sense that if love is compelled, it ceases to be love.

If God loved unconditionally, he would forgive and accept every person unconditionally (as many assume he does). No cross, either for Jesus or us. But then the Christian message would be logically incoherent and psychologically unsound. It would be as shallow as the love of a person who always accepts another’s behavior, no matter how offensive or destructive, without ever calling him or her to account. That’s called codependence.

Why doesn’t God simply accept people (sinners) on the basis of Jesus’ sacrifice, irrespective of their response? Again, the answer lies in the nature of love itself. Without repentance, faith, and discipleship, a woman or man is not morally and psychologically capable of experiencing God’s love in its redemptive and transforming power. Without such a response, what a person feels in relation to God is something less than God’s love. It may be relief, psychological peace, or even a (false) sense of security. But it is not God’s transforming love, and therefore not salvation. If thought to be salvation, it is actually deception.

God’s love is conditional, not because God is a tyrant but because God is love. If God loved unconditionally, he would be less than God. To those who say this is outmoded mythology, I would say it is moral and psychological necessity. It is grounded not merely in psychology, however, but in God’s character as demonstrated in his acts in history.

Many people, probably even many Christians, think God’s love is unconditional. Many have bought the sentiment of the old popular song, “He”: “Though it makes him sad to see the way we live, he’ll always say, ‘I forgive.’” This is fuzzy romanticism and cheap grace, not the Good News of Jesus Christ.

If Jesus’ cross was necessary, then so is ours. To rely on God’s “unconditional love” apart from Jesus Christ, and apart from personal faith and discipleship, is to trust in myth or mushy sentiment –– whether we are “liberals,” “evangelicals,” “fundamentalists,” or something else. The Good News is that God’s love in Jesus Christ forgives, transforms, and empowers for righteous, compassionate living. The essential conditions are two: Jesus’ death on the cross (costly grace) and our exercise of self-committing trust (genuine faith).

Apart from God’s grace we can do nothing to save ourselves. Our works can never save us (Titus 3:5). But this does not mean salvation is unconditional. Jesus shows us the true nature of love –– and its breathtaking cost.

This post was written by Dr Howard Snyder. For the original post, go to: http://howardsnyder.seedbed.com/2013/10/09/is-love-ever-unconditional/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

10/13/2013

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Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. - Matthew 5:23-24

The process of recovery increases our awareness of the ways we have hurt other people. For many of us this realization leads almost instaneously to shame. And shame leads almost immediately to increasingly desperate attempts to be perfect in order to mask the feeling that we are fundamentally flawed. The downward cycle of failure-shame-trying harder-failure will gradually immobilize us as our self-contempt and depression increase.

In this text Jesus invites us to give up on trying harder. He suggests a completely different and very practical way of dealing with failure. Notice that Jesus assumes that living in community will lead to the need for making amends. The assumption is that we will not be perfect. We can expect to fail from time to time. Failure need not lead to shame or perfectionism because failure is normal. We all experience it. Accepting this basic reality is the first step in the process toward a healthy response to failure.

Jesus suggests that awareness of our failure doesn't have to lead to trying harder. It can lead to honesty and making amends. We are to speak directly about the problem, ask for forgiveness, make amends as appropriate, and be reconciled if possible.

I fail, Lord.
And then I am ashamed of my failure.
And then I work twice as hard not to fail.
And then I fail again. Lord.
And then I become even more ashamed of my failure.
And then I work ten times as hard not to fail.
And then I fail again..
Help!
Free me from the cycle of failure-shame-perfectionism.
Give me the courage to ask for forgiveness and to make amends.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

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Monsters

10/12/2013

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It was an average morning. It was early and gray outside. This insured that our house was pretty dark when my son woke up. You see….my son pretty much goes to bed as a brief pause in between periods of play time. So, when Daddy and Mommy are in a deep sleep early in the morning, my playful son wakes us all up to start his day.

This particular morning was no different than any other….except for how dark it was in the living room (where we keep his toys). I got him out of bed and released him to go play. He abruptly stopped when his feet hit the hallway. His eyes were wide and he had a look of fear on his face.

“What’s wrong buddy?”, I asked…a bit confused. He was silent. “Come on, let’s go play with your cars.”

Nothing.

“Daddy”, he said. “I can’t go in there because of the monsters.”

I tried not to laugh because I remember those days. In my childhood, for some reason, monsters only existed when the lights are off.

What is it about the dark that suddenly populates our familiar spaces with monsters? It is almost as if they suddenly appear at the control of the lightswitch.

Perhaps there is something deep within us that fears what can’t be seen. This is why faith is a hard sell for some. Darkness, and invisibility make us uncomfortable because we can’t label, control, or plan for what is behind the imaginary curtain. In our minds, monsters are everwhere because we hate not fully knowing.

The Bible gives us the definition of faith. It is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what is unseen (Heb. 11:1). If this were true for us then this would mean we enter our personal darkness with confidence and knowledge that what we encounter will be docile in comparison to the power associated with the author and perfector of our faith.

What would happen if we actually behaved as if faith were real? It may just affect every aspect of our lives…..and dispel the monsters.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2013/10/08/monsters/

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Restoration

Sunday Meditation

Under New Management

Setting captives free

Allowing child molesters into church

Can child molesters go to church?

One in 10 young Americans have committed sexual violence

Is love ever unconditional?

Sunday Meditation

Monsters

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