Every time a young man watched pornography over two years, he experienced a headache so severe he had to stop watching, according to a report of his case.

The headache would develop gradually, beginning within the first five minutes of the video, and would reach its most severe point within eight to 10 minutes, according to the neurologists who treated the man, a 24-year-old bachelor in India.

There are two types of "primary headache associated with sexual activity," as the condition is properly called, and it sounds as if this man had the less common type, which progresses slowly along with heightening sexual arousal, Dr. Amy Gelfand, a neurologist at the University of California, San Francisco School of Medicine, said after hearing about the case.

"The more common type is a sudden and severe headache that occurs at orgasm," Gelfand said. The seeming commonness of that headache may simply be due to the fact that people are more likely to bring them to medical attention, frightened by their timing, she added.

Regardless of the type, primary sex headaches are a mystery, Gelfand said  — no one really knows what causes them. Some have speculated that muscle contractions in the neck and jaw during sex may somehow trigger the headaches, while others have suggested they occur because blood vessels in the head are abnormally reactive to sexual activity.

The researchers who treated the man in India suggested his case was caused by changes in the pain-sensing nerves in the face and jaw, along with increased pain sensitivity due to "a heightened emotional state associated with viewing pornography."

Primary sex headaches strike 1 percent of the population at some point in life, and are more common in men, Gelfand said. About half of people who have them also have migraines, but it's not known whether having migraines raises the likelihood of having sex headaches, or vice versa  – or whether other untold factors are behind both.

The patient in India — an otherwise healthy man who worked as a software professional — had no history of migraines or tension headaches in general, and he reported no previous headaches linked with sexual activity, including masturbation. He'd had no head injuries or meningitis infections, the researchers said.

Previous studies have not suggested any link between the headaches and specific sexual behaviors, the researchers said.

The results of the man's physical and neurological exams were reportedly normal. Gelfand said that is often with the case in people with primary sex headaches. (In fact, if an exam revealed a physical cause of the headaches, then by definition, the person would be instead diagnosed with a "secondary sex headache," she said.)

The man was advised to take a combination of ibuprofen and acetaminophen half an hour before watching porn, and he reported the drugs significantly relieved his pain.

In most people, the headaches occur over a period of a few months, rather than years, Gelfand said. Patients are often treated with a drug called indomethacin, which is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug available by prescription in the U.S., and is also used to treat other types of headaches.

The case report was published online June 14, 2012 in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

The original post can be found at:  
http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/2778-porn-sex-headache.html

"I got up in the middle of the nite and he was just sitting there on the couch, watching a scrambled TV channel" is what this single mother told me of her teenage son.    This was the first indication that she had that her son may have had sexual compulsion issues.    

Now, he was sitting in juvenile detention and she was trying to find a counselor to get help for her son.  He had been picked up for entering his neighbors apartment without permission.  

The neighbor had set a trap for him.  She had been noticing that some of her underwear was missing.  At first, the neighbor thought that her underwear disappeared in the dryer.  However, some times, when she would come home from work, her underwear drawer was in disarray, different from what it was when she left for work in the morning.  The police were notified and a hidden camera was in place.  Upon reviewing the recording with the police, she identified this young man as the suspect.  When the police picked him up, the young man seemed relieved that he was caught.  He broke down and told his story.  

His upbringing did not reflect anything out of the ordinary, just a father who was absent.  After his parents divorced, his mother worked two jobs and his father came around for special occasions but otherwise did not have much contact with him.  He wanted manly affection and wasn't getting it from his father.  He wanted a mother's affection and she gave him love as she could but was so busy with work and raising him and his older sister.  

The young man stated that he was viewing porn with some of his friends and there was one movie about a man who wore women's panties because he liked the way it felt against his genitals.  This young man was looking to soothe himself because of the lack of affection he was getting from his family, so he started to get his sisters underwear and found it very sexually stimulating.  Next, he was getting up late at nite to watch the Playboy channel on TV.  Mom didn't pay for that channel but it still came in scrambled and sometimes he could make out pictures and could hear the sound.  While sitting there watching  this channel he would masturbate into his sister's panties.  

Eventually, this got to be less stimulating so he started fantasizing about a sexual liaison with the neighbor.  He found that there was a broken window that the landlord had not fixed that he could easily get into.  So, on occasion, he would get into his neighbors apartment and take some underwear.  Later, that nite, in front of the TV he would fantasize and masturbate.  

You can imagine where this young man's sexual urges may have taken him had he not been stopped by the police.  Nevertheless, he entered treatment for his sexual behavior which led to him committing crimes and it appears that a future life of crime was averted.  This young man heavily invested himself in treatment.

There were a few things missing from this young man's life that could have helped him not get involved in criminal activity:

1.  If his father had taken more of interest in him and spent time with him he may not have craved the affection he so desired
2.  If his mother did not have to work two jobs to pay the bills she could have spent more time with him and also had a better handle on his activity
3.  This young man was very introverted and did not participate in the social life of his school.  If he could have joined sports, the arts, band, journalism, etc that could have helped develop his social skills and also given him interests that weren't so purient.  
4.  This young man was not involved in a church youth group.  The parents of other teens could have served as pseudo-surrogate parents, or the youth pastor could have spent time with him.  

These could have helped him develop in a healthy manner.

Ultimately, this young man's behavior is his responsibility.  It is easy to blame parents, school, church or society and he came to realize that he was responsible for his own feelings, attitudes and actions.  Nevertheless, if these four things had not been missing from his life, he would have had more opportunity to challenge some of his assumptions without having to be forced into treatment.

So, men, we have an important place in our society and our churches.  Take the time to note those young men who are struggling and pray for opportunities to influence them.  

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

No more lying then. Everyone must tell the truth to his fellow believers because we are all members together in the body of Christ.

Honesty is essential to recovery. Honesty is essential to intimacy. 
But honesty is not easy.

We were not created to be isolated, independent creatures. We were created to be interdependent. We need each other. And in order for us to be helped by others and to be helpful to others, we need to practice honesty. That means we must learn how to talk to each other about our thoughts and our feelings and our needs. We must learn to talk about our struggles and failures, about our dreams and our successes.

Honesty is the soil in which intimate relationships grow. It creates the possibility of being known and loved for who we really are. But it is also full of risks. If we tell the truth about ourselves, people may not listen. They may not want to know. They may not understand. They may judge and reject. They may dislike us. They may give us simple answers to unanswerable questions. They may repeat what we have said to others.

We hesitate to be honest because we have experienced these things in the past. Our feelings may have been minimized. Our thoughts may have been devalued. Our reality may have been denied. But in order to grow healthy relationships, in order to heal and recover, we need to begin to take risks. Learning honesty will be a process for us. It will not come quickly. But as we practice the disciplines of honesty we gradually become more secure in telling the truth.

I am tired of lying, when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
But I am afraid of honesty, Lord.
It's not as easy as it sounds.
Help me to pursue honesty today.
Help me to be honest with you.
Help me to be honest with myself.
Help me to build a community of faith
where honesty is the norm.
Build in me a capacity for truth.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

Does God want us to sin? It seems like an odd question, but if we really think about it there is some validity to this inquiry . We know that God gets great joy out of seeing someone who is far away from Him repent. The Church also benefits greatly from this action.

So, is it wrong to assume that God sets us up for destruction just so He can redeem us? And, is this redemption only temporary in hopes that the Christian will slip once again and come back to God?

These seem like uncomfortable questions and our brains know the right answers to these questions. Sometimes, however, our actions tell a different answer. If these things were true then the action of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross would have been a waste of time.

Jesus came and died so that we could be free from sin. His death on the cross defeated sin’s power, and gave humanity the ability to flee our slavery from it. What does this mean?

It means that we do not have to sin. We do not have to keep ourselves in a bondage that erodes our soul. We do not have to feel the emptiness that comes with insatiable desire. Most of all, we do not have to fear a physical death.  If we have to sin in order to live, then this Christian life is obsolete.

Here is the catch…

God is the only one who can give us the resources to conquer.

If the Bible is right when it says that the wages of sin is death, then that implies that our consequence (whether good of bad) begins here on earth. If eternal life, for instance, begins on earth then we can assume that this life doesn’t just “pause” every once in a while because it is under construction.

Eternal life doesn’t stop, and we can embrace it now and continue to live in it. Constant confession, a humble attitude, and a desire to be closer to God assure that we will be successful at this kind of life. Constant confession puts us back on track. A humble attitude eliminates pride. A desire to be closer to God keeps us on the right trajectory.

So, the point of this post is simple… We may mess up from time to time, and we may find periods of weakness. The hope comes when we realize that God has given us a way out of this cycle. We do not have to fall away from Him, but if we do, He will restore us.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos, the original post can be found here:  http://other-words.net/2012/12/04/dont-wait-for-life/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul

Peter in speaking of "fleshly lusts" uses the words, sarkikos (fleshly) and epithumia (lusts).   Sarkikos describes the impulses, cravings, and desires of the carnal flesh.  Epithumia is a compound word.  Epi (over) and thumos (passion). Hence, epithumia describes a person so overcome by some passionate desire that he completely gives himself over to it.  

Interpreted, this means that your flesh is never content until it has completely taken you over and consumed you.  It is impossible to freely participate in only a little taste of sin and then walk free of it.  Once the flesh has been allowed to indulge in that sin, the cry of the carnal nature to indulge in sin once more will become stronger and stronger, ferociously working against you in its attempt to pull you deeper & deeper into sin until you are completely conquered by it.  

If you have one temptation that you have to constantly fight more than others, how did that fight begin?  Did you look at something or allow your flesh permission to do something that you knew was wrong?  Did you open the door to this attack yourself by not saying no to the flesh at a critical moment in your life?  What are you going to do now to shut the door to the devil and drive this battle out of your head and flesh?

It is a whole lot easier to avoid fleshly temptations that it is to uproot them once they get deeply rooted in your mind, will and emotions.  So if the world around you is crying out for you to participate in its sinful activities, remind yourself that you are just a temporary traveler in this world with no rights to participate in such activities.  

Make the choice to refrain from the works of the flesh.

By making this decision, thru the power of God's Holy Spirit, you can avoid horrific battles that others fight every day in their minds because they didn't say no to temptations that were offered to them.

This post was adapted from Sparkling Gems from the Greek.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

The more you practice a lie, the better you get at it, say the results of a new study.

Published Nov. 12, 2012 in the journal Frontiers in Cognitive Science, the study found that, after 20 minutes of practicing their cover story, liars could respond just as quickly and easily to lies as to the truth. Moreover, they were no more likely to slip-up on falsehoods than on the truth.

"After a short time of training, people can be very efficient at lying," said Xiaoqing Hu, a study co-author and psychology doctoral candidate at Northwestern University. "The difference between lying and being honest has been eliminated after the training."

Though people lie for myriad reasons, it's no easy task. Lying takes a lot of brainpower because it requires holding contradictory information in mind (the truth and the lie), while inhibiting the urge to tell the truth. Children are terrible liars and only improve as they mature. And several studies have found that people take longer to tell a lie than to tell the truth.

"Lying is a difficult, because honesty is the default communication mode," Hu told LiveScience.

But past studies mostly tested people's ability to offer a deception with no practice. In real life, criminals usually practice and perfect their alibis before facing a police interrogation. 

Hu and his colleague wanted to see how lying changed with practice. They asked 16 people to essentially play at espionage by remembering three facts for a false identity: their new name, a new date of birth and a new hometown.

Researchers then asked volunteers to answer a question ("Is this true of you?") for different facts about their true self, and to press a "yes" or "no" button in response, while the researchers measured response time and accuracy.

The liars were then asked to practice lying by pressing "yes" whenever a fact from their false identity appeared and "no" when true details were presented. (A control group of 16 people performed the same trial, but answered yes to the truth.)

After 270 trials, or about 20 minutes of training, liars were indistinguishable from truth-tellers on accuracy and response time.

"We think that, psychologically, the people basically learned that this is not me and the fake identity is me," Hu said.

The team is currently studying whether other measures of lying, such as polygraph machines or EEG brain wave measurements, can reveal practiced deception, or whether lies are completely undetectable using current methods, he said.

The findings have implications not just for would-be criminals, but also for lie-detection research, which usually attempts to spot deception immediately after a person is asked to lie.

"But in the real world, after a crime, there is usually a delay between the crime and the interrogation," giving the criminal a chance to practice their falsehood, he said.

Hu's team is currently studying whether people can improve their lies when asked to provide a false memory of events — for instance, when creating an alibi after a burglary.

[The more you lie, the more you believe your own lies.]
[The more you lie, the easier it becomes to lie.]  

This post was taken from:  http://www.livescience.com/25057-practice-improves-lying.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

A new report released by a publication that focuses on institutions of higher learning asserts that universities nationwide are waging war on Jesus by leaving him out of their religion courses.

College Fix says that it conducted a survey of 316 religious courses from 12 universities across the country and found that only three courses centered on the life and teachings of Christ.

“Jesus Christ is – without question – the most influential figure to ever walk the Earth, but professors clearly prefer to offer electives on much more obscure matters,” the publication writes.

“[J]ust because a class is on Christianity does not mean it will give much, if any, consideration or weight to the person of Jesus Christ or his teachings,” researchers stated. He might get a lecture or two, … but many course descriptions on Christianity classes don’t even include the word ‘Jesus’ at all…”

Those who conducted the study said that there are also notable differences in how Christianity is analyzed compared to other religions. They explained that words such as “understanding” are using for courses relating to Islam, but the phrase “critical analysis,” for example, is used in class outlines surrounding Christianity.

They explains that, in comparison to the three courses that did center on Jesus, there were also two classes on witchcraft and shamanism, three on sex and religion, five on mysticism and twelve on women and religion. College Fix also outlines that some of the course titles were so obscure that it had no idea what kind of material would be discussed.

“University of Colorado at Denver’s 40-plus religious studies classes include ‘whores and saints,’ ‘theories of the universe,’ ‘Freudian and Jungian perspectives in dream analysis,’ and ‘spirituality and the modern world,’” it writes. “No electives focused exclusively on Jesus, however.”

“Arizona State University’s 50 religious studies classes run the gamut from ‘anthropology of material culture’ and ‘ritual, symbol and myth’ to ‘what is religion’ and ‘gender and peace.’ Again, no Jesus electives,” the publication continues. “In fact, the only religion class at Arizona State focused exclusively on Christianity is called ‘lost scriptures/lost Christianities,’ and zeros in on the ‘wide diversity of early Christianity and its suppressed and lost texts, which have been found in modern times.’ But rest assured, the campus offers four classes on Islam and two on Stalinism.”

It states that although three of the classes centered on Jesus, other historical — or even non-existent — figures headlined course electives as well, such as Mohammed, Martin Buber and “The Brothers Karamozov.”

Additionally, College Fix said that the three classes that were focused on the life of Christ apparently all dealt with what others have to say about Him, not who Jesus said He was or what He taught.

“Take Georgia State University at Atlanta’s ‘Jesus Inside and Outside the Gospels’ course,’” the publication said. “It’s a ‘comparative study of portrayals of Jesus as they have evolved over the past two millennia … and visual depictions of Jesus in modern media such as film, television and the internet.’”

“The University of Hawaii’s ‘Life and Teachings of Jesus’ class is a ‘critical study’ of Gospels and of extra-Biblical sources,” it continued. “And the survey’s third and final elective solely devoted to Jesus comes from Butler University in Indiana. Called ‘Historical Jesus,’ it offers a ;close look at Jesus of Nazareth, focused on sources and methods of knowledge about Jesus as a historical figure. Attention will also be paid to historical and cultural context, and to beliefs about and depictions of Jesus in early Christian literature.’”

At the end of the study, researchers concluded that there is an outright hatred for Christ on the vast majority of college and university campuses nationwide.

“[I]f this survey highlights anything, it’s that [students are] not even given the option [to study the words of Christ],” they stated. “Meanwhile the classes that do focus on Jesus or Christianity sidestep his message and teachings in favor of historical context and critical analysis.”

“Bottom line,” they declared, “universities across America show an outright disregard and disdain for Jesus Christ.”

For the original post, click here.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

A political science professor at Butler University asks students to disregard their “American-ness, maleness, whiteness, heterosexuality, middle-class status” when writing and speaking in the classroom – a practice the school’s arts and sciences dean defended as a way to negate students’ inherent prejudices.

The syllabus of the course at Butler, a small Midwestern liberal arts institution in Indianapolis, spells out that students should use “inclusive language” because it’s “a fundamental issue of social justice.”

“Language that is truly inclusive affirms sexuality, racial and ethnic backgrounds, stages of maturity, and degrees of limiting conditions,” the syllabus states, referencing a definition created by the United Church of Christ.

The syllabus of the class, called Political Science 201: Research and Analysis, goes on to ask students “to write and speak in a way that does not assume American-ness, maleness, whiteness, heterosexuality, middle-class status, etc. to be the norm.” It is taught by a black, female professor.

In an interview with The College Fix, Jay Howard, dean of Butler’s College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, denied this practice essentially presumes every student who walks through the door is a racist or misogynist.

He said students must be told not to assume such prejudices because such assumptions are ingrained into the culture and remain there until questioned. With that, a liberal arts education questions these assumptions, and such questions can make for uncomfortable situations, he said.

“Sometimes in order to broaden the conversation and broaden the understandings you’ve got to risk making people uncomfortable,” Howard said. “There’s nothing about a college education that guarantees you won’t be made uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, if you’re never made uncomfortable in your college education, you’re not really getting a college education.”

Howard said the college he oversees does not want students to continue to harbor such assumptions without question, “but neither do we want to exclude the dominant group in society in our attempts to make sure that we’re leveling hierarchies.”

In twenty years, white people will no longer be the majority, but they will still be the largest ethnic group, Howard said. He said using inclusive language would help students prepare for a changing world as America becomes more diverse.

He added that American culture makes speaking inclusively difficult, and the English language is partly to blame.

“Our language doesn’t make it easy to write in ways that are inclusive,” Howard said. “We don’t have a generic singular, I mean we have he and she. There is no pronoun that is gender-neutral there.”

However, not all writing- and language-intensive classes at Butler University mandate students use such “inclusive” language.

Nancy Whitmore, director of the journalism school in the College of Communication, said in an interview with The College Fix that students in her department are encouraged to use diverse sources with a wide variety of opinions, but are not mandated to use so-called inclusive language.

Whitmore said she is unsure what educators in Butler’s College of Liberal Arts and Sciences mean when they ask students to write without assuming certain things to be the norm.

“I don’t think I could ever write from a black woman’s point of view because I’ve never been a black woman,” Whitmore said.

Indeed.

My name is Ryan Lovelace, and I dropped that politically correct political science class.

Clearly, the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at Butler University believes its students were raised as racist and misogynist homophobes who have grown to harbor many prejudices, a stance that is both offensive and hostile to any student’s ability to learn.

As a student at an institution predominantly focused on the liberal arts, I expected to hear professors express opinions different from my own. I did not expect to be judged before I ever walked through the door, and did not think I would be forced to agree with my teachers’ worldviews or suffer the consequences.

Being judged and forced to act a certain way is antithetical to how any institution of higher education should conduct itself.

As a journalism major, I will now strive to avoid the liberal arts college as much as possible, not because the college fails to provide its students with any practical knowledge, but because the college seeks to indoctrinate its students with a hostile paradigm that views people like me—an American, white, heterosexual male from a middle-class background—as evil; whitey-righty need not attend.

Many consider higher education to be in turbulent waters because of rising tuition costs and student loan debt, but students who actually graduate may struggle even more if they view the world as Butler’s College of Liberal Arts and Sciences does.

The liberal arts college seeks to include people, but someone will always be excluded, as it is impossible to always include everyone. Furthermore, I’m not sure how to write assuming any other persona but my own. Any attempts to do so would only be offensive to people different from myself.

Lastly, the idea that people have different views from mine is not what makes me uncomfortable. The idea that I must walk, talk and act as the liberal arts college pleases does. I’ll speak as I always have and conduct myself in the way I deem fit. I think paying $40,000 a year should give me that basic right.

This post was written by Butler University student Ryan Lovelace.  You can find this post at:  http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/12062

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

On Monday I sat in on a class up at UNR (University of Nevada at Reno). The topics for this class were pornography and prostitution. The speaker was a local sex worker in one of Nevada’s legal brothels. The class was composed of students who spoke in very positive ways about prostitution and stripping and just overall sex. I was heartbroken at the deceitfulness of the world and how they look for pleasure in the name of “freedom” to do whatever you want to whomever you want, whenever you like.

Often times when I speak to groups of people I share with them research that was conducted in UNR. This research investigated the impact of Nevada legal prostitution on the attitudes and behaviors of college-aged men towards women. In these findings the Reno students significantly more often endorsed beliefs that prostitution is normal and they felt it would be appropriate for their sons to go to prostitutes and brothels and that it would be acceptable if their daughters grew up to be a prostitute.  The students in this class and their attitude around prostitution and pornography showed me the living example of the how true this research is. The legalization of prostitution in Nevada has led to a corruption of thinking that is beyond the repair of human hands.

I heard it stated in a mocking way that people actually believe that abstinence talks are still going to work. They spoke about how pornography is becoming the new way of sex education for kids in schools. Porn was completely normalized in conversations.

An hour later the guest speaker arrived and shared her experiences of being a sex worker for over 20 years. She glamorized her life and experiences while the students sat amazed asking as many positive scenario questions as they could. What the students likely didn’t pick up on was how she also commented on needing to know self-defense, have a panic button, protection, constantly checking for STD’s, tips on safety that she and the other girls discuss, how quickly she can dissociate, etc.

And what I am certain they didn’t hear was what she told me after the class when I walked her to her car. What they didn’t hear in class was her real name. Julie. They didn’t hear that Julie at age 8 (now 48) was molested as a kid. They didn’t hear that after a 15 year abusive marriage Julie realized her husband was also her pimp. They didn’t hear how much therapy she has gone through or about her battles with drug addiction. They only heard what Julie wants to believe herself just to get through the day…. deceit.

I will be speaking to this same class next week. I ask for your prayers that as we bring Truth to them their hearts will be open to hear it.

Melissa

Please take some time to pray for this young lady as she represents Jesus to her university.

For the original post, go to:  http://awakenreno.org/a-letter-from-melissa-holland/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.

Addictions and compulsions are a kind of bondage. Painful memories are also like chains that bind us. We try harder and harder to change. But sometimes the harder we try, the tighter the chains become. Recovery begins when we recognize that our bondage is too great for us. We are not powerful enough to break these chains. Either we will find a power greater than ourselves to help us, or we will stay in bondage.

Many people find the idea of powerlessness to be very troubling. We want to be competent and self-reliant. And, many of us have had people attempt to 'rescue' us in ways that have increased our shame and self-contempt. So, why should we welcome the God-who-rescues? Won't he also shame us?

First, notice in this text that God's intervention is in response to a request. We do not serve a codependent God. God is not entangled in our compulsions. God will not rescue in ways that are shame-full. God knows that we need to be ready to be helped and that we need to cry out for help.

Notice also in this text that it is the God-of-unfailing-love who is our higher power. Because so many of us are convinced that God is vindictive, punitive and abusive, it can be terrifying in our powerlessness to focus on the power of God. We are sure that all of that power will be used against us. But the God-of-unfailing-love is not a vindictive, punitive or abusive God. God is a God-of-tough-love. That's the only kind of love that can be 'unfailing.' But God is not 'against' us. God is 'for' us.

Recovery is being set free by God's powerful love.

I was powerless, Lord.
I expected you to increase my shame and self-contempt.
But you are a God of unfailing love.
I expected you to use your power against me.
But when I called, you came.
You crashed the gates.
You cut the bars.
You broke the chains.
You are leading me out of this darkness and deepest gloom
into the light of day.
Thank you.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery