Iron Mike Tyson is one of the most iconic, controversial—and also most jacked-up—sports figures of all time. And I absolutely loved watching him fight. He had the unprecedented power to knock his opponent out with just one punch. He would send you crying to mama in the first forty-five seconds of round one. And if you weren’t careful…he just might spit in your face and go to town gnawing on your ear! (Just ask Evander Holyfield.) 

Even though Iron Mike was unquestionably messed up, I couldn’t help loving him as a fighter and an athlete. Because no matter what else you could say about him, he genuinely had that “Eye of the Tiger.” The dude just loved to hit, scrap, punch you in the face, bite, trash talk, kick your booty, fight—and win! He simply stubbornly refused to lose. 

Hey parents, listen up: We need more Iron Mike Tysons in this world. 

Oh, you read that right. What I mean is we need parents who are willing to hit, scrap, punch, bite, and fight for their kids! (Of course, I don’t mean you should hit your kids.) 

But here’s who you should hit: the enemy who’s bent on stealing, killing, and destroying our families. And it’s totally gloves off with that punk. It’s Rumble in the Jungle, Thrilla in Manila, Sting in the Ring, Fight of the Century, all-out war! 

But instead of Iron Mike Tyson parenting, what we’re surrounded with today is lazy, apathetic, exhausted, busy, workaholic, God-dodging, materialistic parenting. Mom and Dad, it’s time you turn off that phone. Stuff that To-Do list in a drawer. Turn off the TV. Get your butt up off that couch. Lace up your boxing gloves… And FIGHT for your kids. 

Five Things Every Parent Needs to Fight for for Their Kids: 

1. Time. James 4:13–14 says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” Make time for your kids today. Nobody’s promising you a tomorrow with them. 

2. Purity. Did you know that the largest audience for Internet porn is kids aged twelve to seventeen years old? Understand this: Satan has a dream, a vision, and a coordinated plan to take your kids out. He wants them checking out porn, keeping secrets, rounding second base and sliding into third, plunging headlong into promiscuity! Parents, please… dig deep and find the guts to FIGHT for your kids’ purity! 

3. Marriage. Is your marriage on life support? Are you at that point where the doc should just come in and pull the plug? Have you been secretly dreaming about some other person besides your spouse? Have you been having an emotional affair? What about a full-on sexual one? Then let me tell you what happens next: Fight for your  marriage! Or risk losing it all—including your kids. It really is just that simple. Sure, it’s tough. I get it. Things are jacked up. I get that maybe you’re not “feeling it” anymore. But one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is modeling for them how to have a healthy, vibrant, passionate love affair—with your spouse! 

4. History. So, what’s your deal? Are you a yeller? Does your anger cause your kids to walk on eggshells around you? Are you a workaholic? Spiritually passive? Porn addict? Critical heart? You know that’s not who you want to be. So why are you still keeping that old man around? Kick him to the curb! Find out what it really means to be in Christ, and to have Him in you. You CAN change the pattern of history that has so far defined your life. Write the legacy that your kids deserve. But here’s the thing: You’re going to have to get bloody knuckles to make it happen. FIGHT! 

5. The Obvious. Fight to keep Jesus in the center of your family. The only thing trying to stop you is the whole world. Don’t let it. Push back. When the cares of this world try to start a fistfight with your family, you pull a knife. When they pull a knife, you pull a gun. Fight! Every day of your life, as soon as you get up, strap on your armor. (See Ephesians 6:10–18 to learn how.) Read God’s Word together, pray together, go to church together, talk about Jesus on the way to school, when you get up and before you go to bed. It's time to RE-UP.  Recommit to making Jesus the centerpiece of your life.

This post was taken from the booklet Sex, Lust and XXX:  Fighting for your kids' purity in a sex saturated world. 

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

When Paul says we are to “walk in the Spirit” he is writing to a church community, not just to random individuals reading his letter in their private corners. Keeping in step with the Spirit of God is a community activity, something we do together. 

 During anti-porn week, we identified from secular research what viewing porn does to a person.   This week presents practical advice of how to stay away from the influence of porn.

In other words, we keep in step with the Spirit by keeping in step with one another. We must live lifestyles of encouragement and accountability. 

Nothing slays the power of sin like confession. James writes, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16). In confessing our sins to God we are promised forgiveness. In confessing sin to others we are made whole. 

Sin must be habitually exposed to the light of confession. This is called accountability: being honest with another trusted believer about our temptations, sins, and the state of our heart. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, after eating of the forbidden fruit, our knee-jerk reaction is to hide—to hide from God and from one another. Accountability is the willingness to habitually and regularly allow others access to your heart, your motives, your secret desires, your dark thoughts, and, of course, your sinful actions. 

How does this relate to pornography? The late psychologist, Dr. Al Cooper, believed three main factors draw people into online sexual activity:

1. Accessibility (porn is accessible easily from any Internet connection) 

2. Affordability (millions of free or very cheap images are available online) 

3. Anonymity (home computers and Smartphones have made it very easy to be secretive) 

He dubbed this the “Triple-A Engine” of Internet porn. 

These three factors work like three legs on a stool: remove just one of the legs and the stool will fall (or at least make it awkward to sit on).

The easiest leg to remove is the leg of  anonymity, or secrecy. We do this by becoming accountable to others about the time we spend online, taking away the option to hide our Internet activity. 

One way to do this is through the use of Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability. This software program monitors your home computer, work computer, or smartphone and then sends a detailed report of your Internet activity to a trusted friend, spouse, or mentor. Covenant Eyes, which pioneered this concept, also rates websites for mature content, flagging specific web searches and sites. 

Confession of sin is not the only goal of Christian community. In the face of each other’s weaknesses, we need to encourage one another to fight sin. The author of Hebrews says, “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Heb. 10:24-25). 

This can be called “responsive accountability.” When we give an account of our sins to someone else, in return, they should listen and then give an account of God’s gospel promises to us. 

In this text, God calls us to “stir up” one another—that is, to urge, to spur on, to provoke, to motivate each other—to love and good deeds. Each time we meet together we should be contemplating and praying, “God, show me how I can really motivate my friend to resist temptation and instead love You and others wholeheartedly.” We are to have a hardcore intentionality and thoughtfulness in our friendships. 

Like the embers of a red-hot fire, we stir up the fire not by adding heat to it, but rather by exposing the glowing embers to the air, helping to bring out of the embers the energy that is in them already. If the Spirit of God is in us, He has already planted His holy desires into our hearts. He has etched his law on our hearts (Jer. 31:33-34; Ez. 36:25-27). But He has also placed us in the family of the church, among trusted friends who are also filled with His Spirit, in order that we might stir up in each other what God has already put in us.

This post is taken from the booklet, YOUR BRAIN ON PORN by Luke Gilkerson.  The booklet can be found at:  http://www.covenanteyes.com/brain-ebook/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

An unwelcome guest climbed into bed with me last night. No, it wasn’t our spoiled dog (I lost that battle a long time ago) or one of our kids nursing a nightmare. It was something more sinister. Something dark. Something ancient.

                     It was fear.

Have you noticed that fear is a night owl? It seems to awaken as we’re trying to fall asleep. Dancing on the bed. Ripping off the covers. Screaming all our unknowns, regrets, and worries at such volumes that the sheep we’re trying to count get scared away.

What am I afraid of? Well, you see, that’s the funny thing. I’m not really sure. Last night it was a parade of random things:

The weight of my new job.

The guilt that seems to come with parenting.

The thought of the Democrats winning the election.

The thought of the Republicans winning the election.

The fact that I’m the father of a teenage daughter.

The unrest in the Middle East (and my pending trip to Israel next month).

The skyrocketing national debt and what that means for the future.

What if I mess this up?

What if my kids struggle?

What if the economy collapses?

What if Andrew Luck is never as good as Peyton Manning? (This is serious, folks).

Fear has a loud voice. And no matter how beautiful your circumstances or how deeply you’re rooted in the truth, it has an uncanny way of grabbing your attention. Focusing you on potential mistakes and future unknowns.

And a little healthy fear is a good thing. It keeps us focused, alert, on task, thinking about the future and wisely adjusting course for the inevitable contingencies that will come. But most of us serve our fears, we don’t harness them. We allow our imagination to project the worst possible outcomes and then we bow down in worship.

And frankly, I’m tired of doing that.

We’re going to face plenty of hardships and trials in this life. We’ll make some bad decisions, things will happen beyond our control, and outcomes won’t turned out like we planned. But there’s no sense in facing the fears we’ve fabricated. What a waste of energy! It’s time to expose those voices in your head as the liars that they are.

I’m told the Bible commands us to “fear not” 365 times. One for every day of the year. Here’s one of my favorite:

“I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

Take that one to heart today. And then sleep well tonight.

What are you afraid of? Are your fears night owls like mine?

This post was written by Erik Cooper.  You can find the original post with comments, here:  http://beyondtherisk.com/2012/09/19/dealing-with-fear/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

The Bible calls the devil, among other names, a tempter (Matt. 4:3; 1 Thess. 3:5), someone who leads people astray (Rev. 12:9). When he comes to tempt, he then seeks to accuse (Rev. 12:10). I've noticed that when I'm tempted to sin, whether in thought, word, or deed, I feel bad for being tempted, as though temptation itself is a sin, which we know it is not. But when I'm tempted to sin I also feel accused of being a sinner.  

Now, I already know that I'm a sinner, a sinner saved by grace through faith in Christ. So, feeling the accusation of being a sinner should not trip me up spiritually, but it often has. In that moment of temptation -- before the act of sin is actually committed -- I feel bad for being tempted. Because of feeling bad for being tempted to sin I then do not pray to the Lord for help. Let me explain how wrong that is. 

First, temptation is not a sin. Even Jesus was "tempted" (or "tested") and He did not sin (Heb. 4:15). So, merely being tempted to sin is not sinning, and therefore we need not feel bad for being tempted. Second, when we're tempted to sin, that is the exact moment when we should run to Christ for help, not shy away from Him because we feel bad for being tempted to sin (Heb. 4:16). 

Finally, the Lord already knows that we're privy to being tempted to sin: "For he knows how we were made; he remembers that we are dust" (Ps. 103:14). Remember that the Lord God is "merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love" (Ps. 103:8). "For the lowliest may be pardoned in mercy, but the mighty will be mightily tested" (Wisdom of Solomon 6:6).

Often enough I have felt so ugly inwardly when being tempted to sin that two different results have manifested: 1) I ended up sinning anyway, feeling that the temptation to sin is near about the same as committing the sin itself; and 2) neglecting to pray because I don't feel "worthy enough" to pray. 

As for the first error, temptation is not a sin; so even when we're tempted to sin, we can still shun the temptation by the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit and not sin. No testing or time of temptation has "overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it" (1 Cor. 10:13). 

God, indeed, provides us with a way out. But too often we willfully neglect to take that way out. Why? Because we want to sin. Let's just tell it like it is: we sometimes want to sin. We want to tell that person what we think. We want to objectify that person and lust. We want that money, so we'll do whatever it takes to get it. We want others to think of us in a certain way, so we'll lie in order to protect our inathenticity.  

As for the second error, prayer is not a sign of personal holiness. We don't praybecause we're holy. Such an erroneous attitude leads to self-righteousness. When we don't feel like praying, that is the moment when we need to pray all the more! "For we walk by faith and not by sight [nor by our feelings]" (2 Cor. 5:7).

Neither do we pray so that we will become holy. Prayer is communication, not a practice for self-congratulation or a means to actual, personal holiness. We pray to the only worthy One who can help us in time of need. We pray to the only truly holy One.  

I've challenged myself lately to pray to the Lord when I feel bad or ugly or dirty inwardly. What I've found is that I usually avoid thinking or acting out sinfully what I was being tempted to do or say or think.

In the very moment when I'm most vulnerable, even when I feel distant from the Lord and unworthy of His presence in prayer because of the temptation, that is when I need to run to and trust in and pray to the Lord the most.    

This honest post was written by William Birch.  The original post with comments can be found at:      
http://www.wpfences.com/2012/07/tempted-to-sin.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Sadly, many men would take the last one. But porn warps a man’s character, with devastating results:

He cares only about himself.  He is full of pride. Many of his problems stem from this root issue.

Masturbating to porn trains a man to climax quickly. If/when sex with his wife occurs, he’s a short story… if that. 

His perception of sex and reality are totally warped. He would rather masturbate to a picture of naked women who cannot comfort him, wants nothing to do with him, and who probably hated being in a porn movie/picture shoot, than enjoy an exhilarating, satisfying ride to the top with his God-given spouse.

As time progresses and he indulges in porn more often, having sex with his wife becomes emotionally strained. It’s hard to be intimate with your wife when you know you’re committing porn-adultery against her.  Shame is an intimacy killer.

Compare all of this to marital sex:

Whereas porn is a one-dimensional, shallow act of selfishness, marital sex is a multi-faceted diamond that involves physical and emotional intimacy, the fun of discovering what pleases each other, and the joy of reaching the peak together.  Sex with the spouse is far more enjoyable than anything porn offers.

Marital sex spouse has a bonding effect. I always feel that my wife and I have strengthened our union afterwards.

The communication that takes place during sex enhances the bonding process. Expressions of love and other intimate conversation take a husband and wife to places porn can’t come close to. I can’t imagine a guy talking to himself and telling himself he loves himself while he’s masturbating to porn.

Marital sex is a gauge of how the relationship is doing. I have to treat my wife with kindness, care and respect for sex to happen (and vise-versa).  If she’s turning me down and there isn’t a physical reason, it forces me to re-examine how I’m doing with carrying out one of God’s greatest commands to me as a husband – to love my wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5).

Sex with my wife gets me focused on her.  The opposite of what porn and pride do. 

The afterglow of marital sex is warm and loving, whereas with porn there’s only emptiness, shame and remorse. 

Marital sex is satisfying. 

Porn? Never! 

Maybe you want to change but are stuck. Here are some guide posts that will help you in the journey to healing: 

Stop using all porn, no matter what it takes.  Support groups, accountability software, counseling, books, whatever. There will be no progress made until you’ve taken this step.

Set the idea of sex aside, and focus  on the relationship with your wife. Take her on a date to a place she likes. Have fun together again.  Rediscover the woman you married.

Show her you care. Listen to her fears, needs and concerns. Ask her how her day went. Ask questions and encourage her to talk about her feelings. Don’t try to fix her when she shares, especially if it’s about her weaknesses or failures.

Stop criticizing her.

Stop comparing her to the porn-images you’ve exposed yourself to. Set firm boundaries in your mind that from this day forward, the only woman you will want to want is your wife. Ask for God’s healing touch in your mind and your heart from the mental adultery you’ve committed.

Do special, out of the ordinary things for her. Get her a card, make her dinner, buy flowers. Surprising her will help spark the friendship again.

Embrace humility. If she points out a way you’re hurting her or not taking care of her and she’s right, bite your tongue, swallow your pride, and ask God to help you change. Confess to her that she’s right.

Help out around the house. She’s not your maid, but your best friend.

Pray together, every day. I can’t overemphasize this one. I’ve heard a statistic that couples who pray together daily divorce one in one thousand, while those who don’t divorce one in two. Praying together is a fantastic way to draw close to your wife, and it brings the Lord into your marriage, which is what you need for healing.

When sex does happen: 
-Don’t make it a rush to the finish line.  Take your time and get into foreplay. 
-Remember that sex is an act you’re enjoying with your best friend, not something you’re doing to “get off.”
-Open up the lines of communication. Talk to her about what you like and ask her about what she likes. Tell her you love her. 
-If you suffer with premature ejaculation, read up on techniques for prolonging sex and/or see a doctor if you need to. Tell your wife you may need a little time to re-adjust physically and emotionally.

Be patient. If you’ve spent years acting out with porn and your marriage is in a bad place, don’t expect your wife to warm up to you overnight. Keep working at it, and be determined to persevere until you’ve had a breakthrough. 

This post was written by Mike Genung.  For the original post, go to:  http://www.xxxchurch.com/men/sex-with-wife-or-3-hours-of-porn.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

God can never be put into a box.  When you think that a story is over or God has done all He can do in a situation, He reminds you that He has plans for us that we could never think, dream or even imagine.

If you remember from the previous two posts, there was a pastor and cattleman.  The pastor lived a godly life.  The cattleman lived life like Esau:  desiring to be the best, be the manliest, having the most and grabbing all you can from life because "you only go around once."  He lived a life of sensuality.  The cattleman wasn't a bad man, he just slightly missed the mark. 

God was working in the cattleman's sons' lives.  One of the cattleman's sons finally came to himself.  He had experienced heartache and sadness from his father, his siblings, his wives and his children.  All of these heart wrenching experiences finally brought him to the point where he realized that the way he experiences life leads to moral, financial and spiritual bankruptcy.  

This man became what God desired of him.  He found comfort in being with the family of the pastor, visiting them frequently and enjoyed having them to his home.  There was a real change in his heart.  There was a tenderness that he had never experienced before as he let God have more and more of his past, present and future.  

Life continued to be difficult for the one cattleman's son.  He still had the pain of his upbringing to deal with.  Some of his behavior had become so automatic that he still found himself grabbing for two pieces of bread and challenging the pastor's sons in manliness, but now, he was listening when the Holy Spirit reminded him that he was a new man.  

He still had to face his siblings and he worked hard to break down the Esau spirit in their relationships.  His own children, who experienced the pain of his lifestyle, finally were able to see that their father had truly changed.    He was now working tirelessly to make up for lost time and become more of what God desired for him all along.  

The cattleman's son's life is not over.  His life is not what it should have been but it is becoming what it could have been.  He learned an exciting principle in which he is applying to his life:  it is never too late to do the right thing.  

So, as we conclude this three-part story of living like Esau, I ask you for two things:

1)  Will you take a moment and pray for this cattleman's son?  Ask God to continue to mold this man into being the man of God that he can be.

2)  Consider your own life.  Do you live like Esau?  Are you looking out for yourself and looking for the best, seeking sensuality and the immediate gratification of your desires?  

If so, it is never too late to do the right thing.  

Ask God to change you.  

Become the man that God knows you can be.  

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

For three years, the disciples watched Jesus live His life, and never once did He crack or bend.  He would break the rules of the religion when love or compassion demanded it.  He frustrated His critics when He encountered misplaced spirituality.  He was not intimidated by authority figures.  He was not swayed by public opinion or pressure from authorities.  He would not cave.

On the night before He died, Jesus took Peter, James and John with Him when He was deeply distressed.  "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow and troubled," He told His friends.

Jesus knew what was coming.  But instead of longing for a way out, He committed His heart to God's purposes.  Just seconds before His arrest, Jesus exclaimed to His friends, "Get up!  Let's go!"  He accepted and moved forward to embrace God's purposes.

On that dark evening, the most important thing Jesus might have shown us was how to completely let go of our our hearts to God.  But He also stiffened His spine.  Spine comes from undivided trust in the One who gives us the undivided heart.  There is no sadder or more pathetic man than the one with heart but no spine.  Be courageous.

This posts is taken from Every Man, God's Man

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.