My therapist told me that shame -- while a proper emotion when I've committed a shameful act -- carries the potential to confuse me into thinking that there is something wrong with me as a human being. For many people, guilt means "I've done something wrong." But shame means "I am something wrong." If shame is not properly assessed, it can potentially hold me captive, and hinder my progress both spiritually and socially.

In a different therapy session I learned about cognitive distortions. Alcoholics Anonymous grants the same concept a different name: stinkin' thinkin'. Cognitive distortions are thoughts that have been corrupted, distorted, or skewed in such a way as to produce error of reality.

An example of a cognitive distortion would be thinking that someone did not like me because when the person saw me in a public context he or she did not interact with me. The reality of the situation, however, could have had various potentials, none of which had anything to do with how the person feltabout me as a human being.

The danger with cognitive distortions is that they can manifest in a manner in which affects my feelings or emotions. In the above situation, I may have felt rejected because the person did not acknowledge me. This, in turn, could have led me to a desperate need for affection, whereby I looked for intimate and immediate gratification, either sexual or non-sexual, whether with another person or even through pornography. If acted upon, shame is but one result.

Such could have been avoided, though, by considering other options as to why the individual did not acknowledge me. For example, perhaps the person did not see me. Perhaps the person did not recognize me from a distance. Perhaps the person was distracted, being in a hurry, or preoccupied with thoughts of his or her own. But by allowing distorted, presumptuous thoughts to consume my mind, I allowed them to affect my emotions, which then led to wrong behavior, producing feelings of shame.  

Shame can act as a cognitive distortion when it is perceived as though something is wrong with me as a human being. Even in my context, when I sinned against my roommate last year, there was nothing wrong me as a human being. What was wrong within me were cognitive distortions. My corrupt thoughts regarding my roommate affected my feelings toward him, which, in turn, led me to behave in such a way that was sinful and disrespectful of him as both a human being and as a brother in Christ.

The public humiliation of my exposed sin only compounded my shame. I remember, however, a Southern Baptist pastor coming to me in private and encouraging me to find a way past the shame. He shared with me a time in his own life when he had to force himself to move past his own shame for a sin he had committed. He told me that I would be no use for the kingdom until I found a way past the shame.

From therapy I learned that the shame I felt was due to genuine contrition and repentance. I was able, upon months of reflection, to honestly and objectively view my actions as shameful without thinking of myself -- my very existence -- as shameful. I realized that my actions were triggered by my feelings, which were triggered by my cognitive distortions. Had I been thinking properly, or not entertaining distorted thoughts, I, and so many others, could avoided that nightmare I created.

From Scripture I learned that Jesus took the shameful behavior I committed against my roommate upon Himself, though He despised and scorned that shame, and then sat down next to His Father in glory (Heb. 12:2). My sinful, shameful behavior has been cleansed by the blood of Jesus, and I will never be held accountable for it by God. He accounts me as righteous (Rom. 3:21, 22), justified (Rom. 5:1), sanctified (Acts 26:18), and glorified (Rom. 8:30) in Christ, though I have sinned.  

By God's grace and mercy to me in Christ, I am forbidden to accept shame as my identity. I am allowed to feel ashamed of my sinful behavior; but in Christ, having received His forgiveness, I am not permitted to view my existence as one of utter, hopeless shame. Only the gospel of grace grants such overwhelming accomplishment over failure, grief, and shame. I hope that you, in and through union with Christ by the grace of God, will internalize these truths for yourself.   

This honest post was written by William W Birch.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://www.classicalarminian.com/2013/02/saturday-devotion-shame-and-identity.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

In one of my classes at Hillsdale Free Will Baptist College we were assigned to read a book by Chuck Swindoll called, Improving Your Serve. Overall this was a pretty good book, but there was one quote that was absolutely phenomenal. It was something that stood out to me then and one that I still think about years later. More than any other quote I’ve seen this sums up what many people in our day want from God. It goes like this,

“I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please, not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a warm cup of milk, or a snooze in the sunshine. I don’t want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation; I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack. I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please”

Chuck Swindoll goes on to say about this, “That’s it. Our inner ‘self’ doesn’t want to dump God entirely, just keep Him at a comfortable distance. Three dollars of Him is sufficient. A sack full, nothing more. Just enough to keep my guilt level below the threshold of pain, just enough to guarantee escape from eternal flames. But certainly not enough to make me nervous…to start pushing around my prejudices or nit-picking at my lifestyle. Enough is enough!”

As preposterous as that sounds, I believe it accurately reflects what many people in the church today feel that grace is.  Grace is enough of God to keep us from being punished for our sins but not enough to turn us into fanatics.  Grace is for those who aren’t into the whole deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Jesus thing.  Grace means my sins are forgiven and I’m free to live however I want.

I’m sure most would affirm that grace doesn’t free us to live grossly immoral lives. Yet many would probably say that as long as we don’t live grossly immoral lives we are free to do whatever else we want. We are free to live for ourselves while making nominal gestures of service and devotion to God.

This is why teaching about being righteous, doing righteous, being pure in heart, faith without works being dead and taking up our cross to follow Jesus is often so hard for people to swallow. In their minds these teachings are opposed to grace. But are they really? Or is this idea of grace flawed?

Many times when we speak of grace we mean something different than the Bible does. Many times when we speak of grace we are talking about a quality of something that is beautiful or joyful. Sometimes when we speak of grace we are talking about a favor that one might extend to a friend without expecting anything in return. However when the early Christians looked at what God had done for mankind and then spoke of God’s grace they meant something far different.

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men,” Titus 2:11 (NKJV)

The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. This doesn’t mean that all men, or all people, have been saved through the grace of God. Instead it means that because of the grace of God all people can be saved. God’s grace has provided an opportunity for every person that has ever lived to receive the salvation that He offers. I’m sure we are all familiar with this, but what we need to be reminded of is what it means that God’s grace made salvation possible for all people.

What it means is that through grace God will save the person who is living in rebellion against Him. Through grace God will save the person who curses Him. Through grace God will save the person who actively opposes Him. Through grace God will save the person who willingly sins against Him. Through grace God will save the lonely, the empty, the ungodly and those drifting through life without purpose or meaning.

To fully appreciate the kind of people that God will save through grace we have to remember how the Bible describes us before we were saved by Gods grace. In Romans 5:6 we are told that we were ungodly people without the strength to save ourselves. In Romans 5:8 we are described as sinners, meaning in part that we were actively rebelling against God.  Then in Romans 5:10 we are given a description of ourselves that makes God’s grace toward us most amazing. In Romans 5:10 we are called God’s enemies. In all of these verses are also reminded that Jesus died for us as ungodly sinners, enemies of God who were unable to do anything to change this situation on their own.

It is at this point that we recognize how amazing God’s grace really is. This is what sets God’s grace apart from man’s grace. While we may at times do favors for our friends, God has done the unimaginable. He has willingly sacrificed His own Son to die for His enemies that He might save them and bring them into a life changing relationship with Him.

This post was written by Rev Stacy J. Ross.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2013/01/21/3-worth-of-god/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.