Category: Honesty

Know thyself

4/29/2014

How well do you know yourself? Often I have learned aspects of my character or personality from other people -- facets that I didn't recognize but others have known all along. Because I didn't know myself well, nor did I understand who I was (identity), I often thought and behaved in ways that were inconsistent. Only within the last few years did I discover that I lived much of my life in pursuit of pleasing others, or at least trying to be viewed by others as they wanted to view me.

I came to discover that I am a unique individual -- all of us are unique persons. Our respective, unique personalities and quirks not only identify us but are a gift from God our creator. But our uniqueness can also cause us problems, especially when others do not understand us, or do not care to appreciate us. Henri Nouwen, in his book The Inner Voice of Love, writes (emphases added):

"When you discover in yourself something that is a gift from God, you have to claim it and not let it be taken away from you. Sometimes people who do not know your heart will altogether miss the importance of something that is part of your deepest self, precious in your eyes as well as God's. They might not know you well enough to be able to respond to your genuine needs. It is then that you have to speak your heart and follow your own deepest calling.[1]"

The temptation is very real for you to try to be what you think others want you to be, or what others have even told you how you should be, but that will only cause you problems. You must refuse to allow yourself to be molded by what others want you to be. Why? I can think of three reasons.

First, God created you as a unique human being. No one has ever been exactly like you and no one will ever exist exactly like you. Only you can be you in this life. To attempt to be any other person, or exist in any other manner, would betray God's special creation of you. When He redeemed you, by grace through faith in Christ, He did not destroy your unique character and personality -- He reformed and refashioned it (even if sinful desire remains) and He enjoys your unique existence.

Second, God wants to conform you to the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29). God, your creator, is not interested in you becoming like what others want you to be. He is ultimately interested in progressively transforming you into the image of His one and only Son, for your good and His glory. To attempt to be any other person, or exist in any other manner, would betray God's design for you in Christ.

Third, for the sake of honesty, you must be true to yourself. Were you to conform yourself to the wishes of others, you would be living a lie, and a lying life does not honor your creator. Attempting to be any other person, or to exist in any other manner, is to live a lie. What could go wrong for you if you tried? Nouwen writes:

"There is a part of you that too easily gives in to others' influence. As soon as someone questions your motives, you start doubting yourself. You end up agreeing with the other before you have consulted your own heart. Thus you grow passive and simply assume that the other knows better.[2]"

You will become increasingly more unstable, incapable of making your own decisions, and codependent upon others for much of the issues of life. You will become an easy target upon whom others can prey; be taken advantage of; lose your sense of self-worth and dignity; and become an object that is neglected, dismissed, and abused by others. Know thyself, be true to thyself, and be faithful to your creator who created you in His image -- who recreated you in Christ's image.

Finally, recall the words of St Paul to the Galatians: "Am I now seeking human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Gal. 1:10 NRSV). Though our context may differ from that of Paul, we learn that even he had to discover and embrace who he was, in Christ, and not to let people intimidate him or dictate the course of his life. He had to be true to the Lord, true to the Church, and true to himself. May all of us learn the value of being true.

__________

[1] Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom (New York: Image Books, 1998), 44.

[2] Ibid.

This post was written by Anonymous. You can find the original blog post with comments, here: http://credendum.weebly.com/1/post/2014/04/know-thyself-and-be-true.html

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Internet porn & the decline of faith

4/15/2014

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Joel J. Miller takes note of a new study positing the decline in religious faith with the rise of Internet use, but doesn’t buy the hypothesis that the Internet makes it possible for people to discover other viewpoints, undermining their own commitment. But he does think that there’s a more plausible reason to connect the Internet to faith’s loss.

Excerpt:

"Porn has been part of the Web from day one. And the stats for online consumption are staggering, even among Christians."

Disaffiliation should come as no surprise. We’ve already seen that porn makes prayer and beneficial contemplation impossible. Given the Christian understanding of the spiritual life, we’re not capable of simultaneously pursuing our lusts and sanctification. Such a pursuit causes internal dissonance, and the only resolution involves eventually conceding to the pull of one or the other. (I’ve talked about that before here.)

Personal testimony adds to the picture. In his book Samson and the Pirate Monks, Nate Larkin discusses his battle with sexual sin and its effect on his state of belief. The deeper he got the further away he felt from God.

As I’ve written before, if you accept the modern world’s view on sex, and abandon Christianity’s teaching, you will soon abandon Christianity. People don’t like to hear that, but it’s true.

This post was written by Rod Dreher. The original post can be found here

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Coping with disagreeable opinions

1/14/2014

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My therapist has been teaching our group how to cope with and react to the opinions of others with which we may disagree. Someone or some group of people can hold to views that may seem hurtful, or even insulting and demeaning, but coping with and reacting appropriately to such views is paramount for our emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being. Often my therapist will ask, "And why do you care what they think? Why does their opinion matter to you? Does their opinion actually change what you believe and how you think or feel about a particular issue? Why are you giving that person or those people so much power over you?" Then illumination performs its work of lifting the world off my shoulders.

I have long suffered from caring far too much what people think about me, which has led me to become at times disingenuous and secretive, trying hard to conform to the image or likeness that others wanted me to model. Of course, this only applies to people whom I deeply respect. But I had taken the opinions of such people and tried to pour myself into a mold that resembles their image. This was how I used to cope with strong opinions -- conformation. Now I've learned how to embrace what I believe without worrying what others will think; and only when I forget what I've learned in therapy do I not cope well with or react appropriately to expressed opinions with which I disagree.

I've taken notice recently to how often we can speak or type words without the slightest care as to how they will affect others. Without any modicum of compassion, we spew forth words of discouragement, disrespect and disgrace. If we could sit, each one of us, before the face of one another, my opinion is that we would take a much different tone with each other than we do over the internet. But we, in this individualized Western culture, tend not to invest much in the lives of others. You see, if I am involved in your life and I care deeply about what happens to you, I will assume an entirely different attitude with you than I could electronically.

Moreover, if we could look into the eyes of our propositional opponents, realizing the excruciating suffering that Christ endured on their behalf, my opinion is that we would take a much different tone with each other than we do over the internet. How often we neglect to display the godly attributes of the Christ of grace. Charles Ringma, reflecting on the writings of Henri Nouwen, writes:
We are good at criticizing others and even better at giving advice. We assume that we know what is best for others, particularly the more unfortunate members of our society. But we are not so good at compassionate participation. We often fail to draw close. We are afraid of involvement, for we know that we may not be able to control the demands that may be made of us.

Yet compassion asks us precisely to take such a risk. In the words of Nouwen, "compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter places of pain."1

Jesus was once accused by people created in the image of God -- people for whom He would eventually die sacrificially -- of having a demon (John 8:48). I remember when this accusation first impacted me upon reading it. I sat there stunned that anyone could claim that the sinless Son of God was demon-possessed. I mean, what on earth had Jesus done, in order to receive such a despicable accusation? Well, in fact, He had confronted their hypocrisy, their opposition to His ministry, proclamation, and even to God Himself. "You are from your father the devil, and you choose to do your father's desires." (John 8:44 NRSV) I suppose they returned the favor of being linked to the devil with their own demonic-familial accusation; and this discussion took place face to face, not on-line!

Words can be used as weapons with which to hurt people.

One way to use our hurts is in recognizing how God often "creatively uses difficulty to gain our attention. He does not [necessarily] create the difficulty. We are [all] good at doing that; or sometimes the difficulty springs from the brokenness of life itself. But problems can arrest us. And if we are willing to learn from them, they can become our friends."2

We learn to cope with and respond to being hurt not only by being identified with Christ, who was also hurt by the opinions of others; not only by learning from His example, by His responses; but also by understanding who we are, both in and of ourselves, as well as in Christ.

According to the latter I have to better understand not only who I am, but who I am in Christ, if I am to learn how to cope with and respond approrpiately to the opinions of others with which I disagree. Granted, I am still learning: I have not yet mastered the art of coping with opinions that I find hurtful or damaging. I am, however, a better student today than I was even a year ago. I know my quirks, my triggers, and the hot-button issues that provoke my ire. I know that I am often slow to listen, quick to speak or react, and quick to become angry, quite contrary to the command of Scripture (James 1:19). These reactions only compound the effects of being hurt; they intensify the pain.

But I also know that, being a redeemed child of God, I do not suffer alone with my pain. The Man of Sorrows (Isa. 53:3) is well-acquainted with my sorrows. He invites me to share in and identify with His pain; and I welcome Him to share in and identify with my pain -- even when I'm wrong; even when I fail. I can take my pain to the One who has mastered the art of coping with opinions, sit at His feet, and like a faithful student learn how to respond as would please Him and bring Him glory.

__________

1 Charles Ringma, Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen (Colorado Springs: Piñon Press, 2000), Reflection 11.

2 Ibid., Reflection 20.

This post was written by William Birch. To find the original post, go here: http://classicalarminian.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-art-of-coping-with-opinions.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

12/15/2013

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He who ignores discipline despises himself,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. - Proverbs 15:32

None of us enjoy it when people point out that we need to change. We don't like being told that we have switched from one addiction to another. Or, that we are allowing someone's addiction to control our lives. Or that we are running from intimacy. Or that we are behaving in ways that are destructive to ourselves or to others. We don't like hearing these things.

But we need this kind of honesty. We are not 'wired' for honest self-assesment. At the first sight of a problem we experience shame. And our defenses go up. We put our hands over our ears and stop listening.

We need other people to keep us honest and to help us see what we cannot see about ourselves. Honest feedback is one of our best hopes for initiating change. As this text puts it, if we 'heed correction', we can gain a lot of understanding. So, it is good to pay attention to the 'correction' and 'discipline' we get from others. We are not helped, of course, by judgmentalism and shame - we have enough of that to last us a lifetime. But we need to cultivate relationships with people who will - with love and kindness - tell us the truth about ourselves. This information can be the starting point for change in our lives.

Lord, help me to build relationships that sustain honesty.
Give me friends who will love me enough to tell me the truth.
Help me to pay attention to correction.
Give me the courage to see myself clearly.
Keep me from shame and self-loathing.
Give me the openness to correction that makes change possible.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

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Sunday Meditation

10/6/2013

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For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handled down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 1 Peter 1:18-19

Change is not easy. It is a fierce battle. It can be difficult and discouraging.

Change often requires us to challenge the perspectives and rules which have sustained our family system for generations. The 'empty way of life' we are attempting to change was handed down from our parents and their parents before them and their parents before them. In a family committed to the 'don't talk' rule, for example, saying even a simple sentence may require overcoming distracting behaviors or other avoidance behaviors which have been refined over hundreds of years!. Talking honestly to a parent or sibling may be breaking family rules that have lasted for generations.

The Good News is that we have been redeemed from the empty way of life handed down by our forefathers. Jesus redeemed us so that we can be free from this kind of bondage. We can learn to talk honestly . We can learn to experience our emotions. We can learn to trust genuinely. We can engage in life. We can love and be loved.

We live in a battle between the empty way of life passed down to us and the new life that has been provided for us. Living in solidarity with our new life in Christ is a daily struggle, but as we practice this way of life we break the vicious cycle of family dysfunction.

Lord, it isn't just me that I am trying to change.
I am up against generations of dysfunction.
An empty way of life has dominated my family for a long time.
It has been passed down to me.
No wonder it seems so hard to change.
I need your help, Lord.
Help me to find hope in your understanding of my struggle.
Help me to find hope in your gift of redemption.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

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A tale of three pastors

7/23/2013

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Let me tell you a tale of three pastors. All successes in their own right. I would be pleased to be a member of their congregations. They are good men, godly men, holy men. They have the same Holy Spirit working in their lives.... yet, they are different. And sometimes, they rub me wrong.

At least two of them do...

One pastor was talking about how the Military creates dependency. "In the military, you don't have to make any decisions, all decisions are made for you, you just obey orders. They feed you, house you, raise you into a fighting machine. They tell you where to live and who to make friends with." (Just in case you're wondering, no, this pastor has never served in the military, although he has had numerous military folks in his congregation.) Yet, when I think about this pastor, he went straight from high school, to college, to seminary, to his first church. He serves in a denomination where the pastor is a professional. The churches in which he has served have always providing housing, paid his expenses, and given him a nice salary. (He is well within the top 1% of financial earners in his church. To his credit he does tithe his salary.) His denomination tells him when to move to another church. Does that sound independent to you?

Another pastor was talking about how the new generation of churches will be smaller and transient with bi-vocational pastors. This pastor is a good scholar. He has researched trends in the church and realizes that is what he needs to be training the next generation of pastors to do. Yet, when I think about this pastor, he went straight from high school, to college, to seminary, to his church. He serves in a denomination where the pastor is a professional. The churches in which he has served have always providing housing, paid his expenses, and given him a nice salary. His church isn't a mega-church by any standards but it is a good sized, medium church. He remarked the other day, "I haven't mowed a yard in years. People from the church come over and mow my yard (actually the yard of the parsonage where he lives that the church provides for him as part of his salary package)." Does that sound bi-vocational to you?

Another pastor, now at the end of his ministry due to his age, reflected with me regarding his life as a minister. He never had a church of over 250. He accepted meager salaries in spite of having seven children. He told me stories about God's provision: coats for his children that suddenly appeared on the doorstep one frigid winter morning, receiving "blue milk" and cheese from the local dairy, having an abundance of fresh farms eggs from an unnamed person in the community, working side-by-side with parishioners in painting and refurbishing the church (and telling of the wonderful theological truths and friendships that occurred during these times), caring for the church building by cleaning toilets, mowing the yard, taking out the trash, etc. Also, he never had a parsonage. Every home he lived in he either rented or owned (ironically, now at a ripe old age, on his meager salary, he owns several homes and they are rented by pastors or parishioners of his former churches). Each of these homes, he cared for in painting, refurbishing, caring for the lawn and shoveling snow. (Oh, that reminds me, he shoveled the snow at his churches. He wanted his church to be welcoming even during bad weather.) He stated he would never cancel church. "What if someone found their way to the church during bad weather only to find the doors locked? What if that was the time that they decided they needed Jesus? If even only one person showed up, I still had church." He NEVER wanted to count on the church to take care of him. He told me that he knew that he was called to be a pastor and in doing a pastor's work, he KNEW that God would take care of him. His salary was just to pay what expenses that he had as he never went into debt, owing no man anything.

Like I said in the first paragraph, three pastors: All successes in their own right. I would be pleased to be a member of their congregations. They are good men, godly men, holy men. They have the same Holy Spirit working in their lives.... yet, they are different. And sometimes, they rub me wrong. At least two of them do...

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

7/21/2013

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Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Sometimes honest confession can seem astonishing, impossible, and dangerous. Because we have learned silence so well, we experience honesty as full of risk. After all, if we are honest, then other people will know what we think and feel. We will be exposed. The appearance of strength and competence we work so hard to cultivate will have to share the stage with our weaknesses, our failings, our sins.

When we practice honesty as a daily discipline, however, something happens to us. The promise of this text begins gradually to grow in our lives. We begin to heal. It is not a dramatic, once-for-all-time, quick-fix kind of healing. Nor is it a private healing, a healing that happens only 'inside' our heads or in secret with God.

Honesty leads to healing because people can now express their love for us in practical ways. Honesty leads to healing because we no longer have to pay the high tariffs that pretense demands. We heal because the experience of acceptance counteracts the contempt we so easily heap on ourselves. We heal because we are no longer alone. We heal because we are known and loved.

Honesty is a discipline with a promise. We will be healed.

Lord, give me the humility and
the courage
to practice confession today.
Heal me as I do the work of honesty.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

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12 things your church needs to know about addicts

6/26/2013

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1. My clean time and my conversion date are not the same thing. I’ve been clean for 8 years, and a Christian for 13. I was a saved-by-grace, Bible believing Christian who was using drugs. If I relapse tomorrow I will still be a Christian, redeemed and forgiven.

2. I am alive because Christians showed me grace. Sure, I can pull off the soccer mom act now, if I want to. But there was a time when I was literally stumbling into church on Sunday mornings, looking to find God again after a particularly rough week or month or year. There were Christians who told me to smarten up and Christians who asked me to leave. But there were also Christians who welcomed me, bought me a cup of coffee after church, listened to me, mentored me, prayed for me, and bared their own souls and struggles when I felt alone.

3. When people tell me that they would love to hear my story, sometimes I feel more like a two-headed alien than a friend. Please don’t pry for the gory details of some of my most tragic moments. Someday I might tell you about the dark places I’ve been, but only when I know I can trust you — and that I can trust myself to tell the story for God’s glory and not my own wistful, dangerous reminiscence.

4. Please don’t tell me that you know what I’ve been through. I am thrilled to hear that you have found freedom over your own life controlling issues, but please don’t tell me that you know exactly what I’ve gone through. Let’s show one another more respect for our unique situations than to presume we know what each other has been through.

5. Addiction doesn’t always look like it does in tragic made-for-tv movies. Yes, I had a time in my life when I was the homeless punk kid passed out on the sidewalk. I also achieved a 4-point-0 at bible college while smoking crack. People rarely fit into their stereotypes.

6. Addiction is both a sin issue and a disease. Please Please Please hear what I’m saying on this one. Any treatment plan or advice that only tackles one side of the equation is more hurtful than helpful. Encourage addicts to get treatment for their disease; even if it is not faith based treatment. You wouldn’t tell someone with cancer not to visit a secular oncologist, or someone with diabetes to just try harder and read their bible more. In my experience, Christians who are struggling with addiction are well aware of their sin. They need hope, help and support, not condemnation.

7. Please stop using the word addiction to mean “affinity for”. You aren’t “addicted” to reality tv or strawberry frappucinos. Please don’t trivialize the pain that people struggle with every single day by referring to your hobbies and preferences as addictions.

8. I’m still an addict. 8 years clean and I still have to be very careful where I go, what I watch, and where I let my mind wander to. If I breathe in too slow sometimes I can almost for a moment taste and feel the drugs. Sometimes when that happens I pray that sin would not have dominion over me; other times I take another slow breath to try sadly and desperately to feel it again. The temptation doesn’t disappear just because I’ve been clean for years, which brings me to the next point…

9. Sometimes I just really want to get high. And for the most part I can’t tell people this because they think it means I’m about to relapse. If I do tell you I’m struggling, please don’t freak out.

10. And I am so much more than an addict. I am passionate and creative and opinionated. God is daily showing me bigger, better glimpses of who I am in Him.

11. Sometimes, deliverance is white knuckled work. I used to ask why God wasn’t setting me free from this in the powerful, miraculous ways he sometimes does. What I’ve come to see is that freedom is not the lack of temptation, it is the ability to stand against it. Everyday my weakness is made strong in Him.

12. My old life was full of lies. It was how I protected my addiction. So sometimes now I say things that are uncomfortably and painfully true. I have to. The whole “I’m okay, your okay” game we like so much to play in the church can mean certain death for an addict. Ultimately, it isn’t really good for anyone. I’m not okay, you’re not okay, we all have issues we are working through.

This post was written by Kelly. You can find the original post at: http://redandhoney.com/2013/06/12-things-an-addict-wants-the-church-to-know/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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How to be a good neighbor

5/29/2013

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Arvada, a Denver suburb started an initiative called the Art of Neighboring. Here are their findings.:

1. Being a good neighbor begins with a positive, proactive mindset.

“The solutions to the problems in our neighborhoods aren’t ultimately found in the government, police, schools, or in getting more people to go to church. The solutions lie with us. It’s within our power to become good neighbors, to care for the people around us, and to be cared for by the people around us.”

That’s where becoming a good neighbor begins. It begins with how a man thinks. Instead of seeing the place he lives only as the place he hangs his hat, he begins to see the place he lives as a place he influences. He knows it’s up to him to make things better.

Author Malcolm Gladwell in The Tipping Point agrees. Exploring the “broken windows” theory first articulated several decades ago, he described how even small things done or left undone in a neighborhood can spur crime rates up or down.

When litter isn’t picked up, when graffiti remains on a wall or fence, when a window is broken but not fixed—these can all communicate that a neighborhood is declining, Gladwell wrote. And when people’s outward environments appear to decline, people tend to respond socially with less care, thus the potential for increased crime.

The opposite is true as well. Just as lapses in signs of care and concern can set off an escalation in deterioration, so can positive actions create a chain reaction of improvement. Thus, a good neighbor’s mindset is focused on how he can influence his neighborhood for the better, and he seeks to address problems while they are still small, nipping them in the bud. He feels a sense of ownership, sees his neighborhood as a reflection of himself, and knows his actions affect others. He begins to be a good neighbor simply and in small ways, undertaking the responsibility of creating an environment that he—and others—will want to live in.

2. The simplest way to become a good neighbor is to smile, wave, and get to know names.

I was out for a walk the other morning when I saw a guy walking toward me on the street. I gave him a head nod and said, “Good morning,” as he passed, like I do whenever I meet anyone in my neighborhood. But the young man didn’t even look at me or respond in any way.

He was carrying a backpack bearing the name of our town’s community college, so that gave me a clue to his standoffish behavior. He may have had a test that morning and been focused on what lay ahead. He may have not heard me, or been in a bad mood and simply didn’t want to respond.

But I suspect it was something simpler. I’m not sure his exact age, probably around 18 or 19, but I suspect he was simply thinking more like a child and less like a man.

In this day and age, children are correctly taught never to talk with people they don’t know. If a 44-year-old stranger said good morning to my 10-year-old daughter as she waited for the school bus, I would strongly urge her to ignore him, even to run away.

But adult-aged neighbors need to be re-taught to engage with people they don’t know, at least when it comes to those who live near to them. If a car drives down my street and I’m outside mowing the lawn, I make it a habit to smile and wave. I see plenty of other adults doing the same thing.

The embryo of good neighboring is proactive friendliness. It means initiating a positive interaction with those you come in contact with. The simplest way to do that is to smile, wave, and learn your neighbors’ names. If someone moves in next door, take them an apple pie. If your neighbor goes out of town, offer to watch out for his place while he’s away.

3. Being a good neighbor means you treat others as you want to be treated.

Some years back when my wife and I bought our first house, we became fast friends with our next door neighbors, a couple about our age. We’d eat dinner together, we’d talk over the fence, we’d mow our lawns for each other when out of town.

They were the neighbors from heaven.

Then they moved out and another couple moved in. The woman was okay, but the guy was a grade-A jerk. There’s no polite way to say that. He was surly and rude, he made noise at all hours of the night, he held wild parties and left empty beer bottles on his front lawn. Other neighbors would actually complain to us—the people who lived closest to them—asking us to do something about it. Cowards.

They were the neighbors from hell.

The point is that when it comes to living in close proximity to other people, any number of relational issues can arise. No neighborhood is perfect, and it takes tact, timing, wisdom, forgiveness, boundaries, and at times courage to live alongside of other people.

Still, the best way to create a good neighborhood is to be a good neighbor yourself. As an adult, you might live in a suburban neighborhood, a rural area, or in an apartment in the city, yet wherever you live, the same principle holds true: your actions will affect others, and their actions will affect you.

This means you’re mindful of your actions. You realize you don’t live in a frat house anymore. You keep your music turned to a volume where it can’t be heard outside your walls. You pick up after your dog and keep him on a leash if your yard is unfenced. You carry your trash cans back inside the garage the same day as your trash is picked up.

When it comes to where you live, you help set the tone.

This blog post was adapted from: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/05/23/on-being-neighborly/

To read more about this study, go to: http://www.artofneighboring.com/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

4/7/2013

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Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Ephesians 4:14-16

"Why can't you grow up?!" Parents sometimes express their anger and impatience with their children in this way. But, it is not a shameful thing to be a child. To acknowledge our child-like-ness is to acknowledge our limits and our dependency. It is to make room for wonder, trust and joy in our lives. If that is what it means to be a child, then we need more of it.

But there is also a sense, as in this text, in which to be child-like is to be immature or unstable. It is a good thing to grow-up. Not because it is shameful to be a child, but because growth is part of God's plan for us. Being "tossed back and forth" is an exhausting way to live. We need to find some way to live without being "blown here and there".

Growing up is hard work. The reason for this, as this text suggests, is that growing up is closely connected with learning to speak the truth. Honesty is a central dynamic of growth and recovery. Increasing our capacity for honesty is not an easy process. But, as we speak the truth in love, we will experience some dramatic changes in our relationships. We will find a more intimate relationship with God - we will 'grow up into Christ'. And we will also find ourselves 'joined and held together' in a community of faith.

Help me to be a child, Lord,
Help me to face my dependencies and my limits.
But, help me to grow up as well.
I'm tired of being tossed back and forth.
I want more stability than being blown here and there.
I want to have stable, healthy relationships
with you, and with others.
So, build within me a capacity for honesty.
Help me to speak the truth in love
so that I can grow up.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

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Know thyself

Internet porn & the decline of faith

Coping with disagreeable opinions

Sunday Meditation

Sunday Meditation

A tale of three pastors

Sunday Meditation

12 things your church needs to know about addicts

How to be a good neighbor

Sunday Meditation

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