A new analysis of the American Freshman Survey, which has accumulated data for the past 47 years from 9 million young adults, reveals that college students are more likely than ever to call themselves gifted and driven to succeed, even though their test scores and time spent studying are decreasing.

Psychologist Jean Twenge, the lead author of the analysis, is also the author of a study showing that the tendency toward narcissism in students is up 30 percent in the last thirty-odd years.

This data is not unexpected.  I have been writing a great deal over the past few years about the toxic psychological impact of media and technology on children, adolescents and young adults, particularly as it regards turning them into faux celebrities—the equivalent of lead actors in their own fictionalized life stories.

On Facebook, young people can fool themselves into thinking they have hundreds or thousands of “friends.” They can delete unflattering comments. They can block anyone who disagrees with them or pokes holes in their inflated self-esteem. They can choose to show the world only flattering, sexy or funny photographs of themselves (dozens of albums full, by the way), “speak” in pithy short posts and publicly connect to movie stars and professional athletes and musicians they “like.”

Using Twitter, young people can pretend they are worth “following,” as though they have real-life fans, when all that is really happening is the mutual fanning of false love and false fame.

Using computer games, our sons and daughters can pretend they are Olympians, Formula 1 drivers, rock stars or sharpshooters.  And while they can turn off their Wii and Xbox machines and remember they are really in dens and playrooms on side streets and in triple deckers around America, that is after their hearts have raced and heads have swelled with false pride for “being” something they are not.

On MTV and other networks, young people can see lives just like theirs portrayed on reality TV shows fueled by such incredible self-involvement and self-love that any of the “real-life” characters should really be in psychotherapy to have any chance at anything like a normal life.

These are the psychological drugs of the 21st Century and they are getting our sons and daughters very sick, indeed.

As if to keep up with the unreality of media and technology, in a dizzying paroxysm of self-aggrandizing hype, town sports leagues across the country hand out ribbons and trophies to losing teams, schools inflate grades, energy drinks in giant, colorful cans take over the soft drink market, and psychiatrists hand out Adderall like candy.  

All the while, these adolescents, teens and young adults are watching a Congress that can’t control its manic, euphoric, narcissistic spending, a president that can’t see his way through to applauding genuine and extraordinary achievements in business, a society that blames mass killings on guns, not the psychotic people who wield them, and—here no surprise—a stock market that keeps rising and falling like a roller coaster as bubbles inflate and then, inevitably, burst.

That’s really the unavoidable end, by the way. False pride can never be sustained. The bubble of narcissism is always at risk of bursting.  That’s why young people are higher on drugs than ever, drunker than ever, smoking more, tattooed more, pierced more and having more and more and more sex, earlier and earlier and earlier, raising babies before they can do it well, because it makes them feel special, for a while.  They’re doing anything to distract themselves from the fact that they feel empty inside and unworthy.

Distractions, however, are temporary, and the truth is eternal. Watch for an epidemic of depression and suicidality, not to mention homicidality, as the real self-loathing and hatred of others that lies beneath all this narcissism rises to the surface.  I see it happening and, no doubt, many of you do, too.   

We had better get a plan together to combat this greatest epidemic as it takes shape.  Because it will dwarf the toll of any epidemic we have ever known. And it will be the hardest to defeat. Because, by the time we see the scope and destructiveness of this enemy clearly, we will also realize, as the saying goes, that it is us.

This post was written by Dr Keith Ablow.  For the original post go to:  http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/08/are-raising-generation-deluded-narcissists/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

To many people, saying that their church is like a zoo would be an insult. In all actuality, general traits that are found in the animal kingdom can be related to personalities found in every church. In order for our churches to run smoothly we must be willing to realize the personality differences among the Family of God for the purposes of plugging people into the right areas of ministry. This would be comparable to Spiritual gift assessments.

In my observation, I have noticed 7 personality traits that are found in every church.

1. Penguin- Many people know the penguin as the animal that always wears a tuxedo. It could be helpful, however to lo0k at one particular trait of this animal to illustrate a common situation that rises in the church setting.  After a penguin egg is hatched, the male penguin sits on the egg for months during the gestation period. He does this so the egg will be safe and have the full opportunity to grow in a controlled environment. If any other penguins attempt to move in on the egg….violence ensues. One could easily see this in the daily happenings 0f ministry. Every church has that one person who has possession of a particular ministry. He/she may refer to the ministry as “my ministry” (i.e. my kitchen ministry, my mentoring ministry, etc) If anyone attempts to approach that function…violence ensues. In some ways, this can be helpful. One could take on a ministry that no one else is willing to lead, and grow it in a healthy way.

2. Lions- This correlation is self explanatory. Lions are loud members of the animal kingdom, and often rely of their roar to scare away potential predators. Ultimately, they are wanting full control of the food source. In the church we see this as well. Lions are people who try to be the loudest voice to get what they want. Often they want to be the center of church business, and perhaps even try to scare others away from things that they are not comfortable with.  Powers used for good…lions can be healthy advocates for the pastoral ministry staff. We need more of those 

3. Beavers- Beavers are industrial and willing to rebuild whatever has been damaged by calamity. They are the first ones to get to work when their structure is in trouble. Beavers in the church are the same way…they are peacemakers, and are just wanting the best for the church. Also, beavers can be great craftsman/ artists, and often these two go hand and hand. They want to help in both the physical structure of the church building  and the relationships found within.

4. Giraffes- These animals were built to reach high places and consume the fruit that is found seemingly out of reach. In the church, we can consider giraffes “dreamers” but perhaps they are also people that are willing to reach higher than most. Sometimes, however, this can be the problem if the real food is down at a place where everyone can reach, and the giraffe is too busy with their “head in the clouds”.

5. Koala- Koala’s are the shy creatures of the animal kingdom. They are known for taking their time, and sensibly consuming the fruit of a tree that they have found to be to their liking. We see people like this everyday. They don’t want to get in anyone’s way, and they are faithful to where they get fed regularly.

6. Lemurs-  Lemurs are energetic animals and are known for hopping from tree to tree to sample small amounts of fruit. We could consider these church hoppers. Sampling the nutrients from a variety of sources, but never committing loyalty to one place.

7. Sea Turtles- As many people know; sea turtles lay eggs on the beachfront, and spend most of their life in the water. Most only return twice a year. I think you know there this is going….Christmas and Easter.

So, where are you in this zoo? Perhaps you have a few animals in you…God wants us to use our talents, gifts, and personalities for the glory of His kingdom.  Ultimately, if everyone in the church is in the area of ministry that they are designed to be in…this “zoo” is a pleasant place to visit. We wouldn’t want lions in the penguin den. Would we?

Granted, the church isn’t really a place in which we are all caged up in captivity. Quite the opposite in fact. Hopefully we can find it to be a place of retreat, safety, and freedom.

Pray about where God wants you today…

The posts this week are written by our pastor in honor of Pastor Appreciation Month.  For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2012/10/19/my-church-is-a-zoo/

God can never be put into a box.  When you think that a story is over or God has done all He can do in a situation, He reminds you that He has plans for us that we could never think, dream or even imagine.

If you remember from the previous two posts, there was a pastor and cattleman.  The pastor lived a godly life.  The cattleman lived life like Esau:  desiring to be the best, be the manliest, having the most and grabbing all you can from life because "you only go around once."  He lived a life of sensuality.  The cattleman wasn't a bad man, he just slightly missed the mark. 

God was working in the cattleman's sons' lives.  One of the cattleman's sons finally came to himself.  He had experienced heartache and sadness from his father, his siblings, his wives and his children.  All of these heart wrenching experiences finally brought him to the point where he realized that the way he experiences life leads to moral, financial and spiritual bankruptcy.  

This man became what God desired of him.  He found comfort in being with the family of the pastor, visiting them frequently and enjoyed having them to his home.  There was a real change in his heart.  There was a tenderness that he had never experienced before as he let God have more and more of his past, present and future.  

Life continued to be difficult for the one cattleman's son.  He still had the pain of his upbringing to deal with.  Some of his behavior had become so automatic that he still found himself grabbing for two pieces of bread and challenging the pastor's sons in manliness, but now, he was listening when the Holy Spirit reminded him that he was a new man.  

He still had to face his siblings and he worked hard to break down the Esau spirit in their relationships.  His own children, who experienced the pain of his lifestyle, finally were able to see that their father had truly changed.    He was now working tirelessly to make up for lost time and become more of what God desired for him all along.  

The cattleman's son's life is not over.  His life is not what it should have been but it is becoming what it could have been.  He learned an exciting principle in which he is applying to his life:  it is never too late to do the right thing.  

So, as we conclude this three-part story of living like Esau, I ask you for two things:

1)  Will you take a moment and pray for this cattleman's son?  Ask God to continue to mold this man into being the man of God that he can be.

2)  Consider your own life.  Do you live like Esau?  Are you looking out for yourself and looking for the best, seeking sensuality and the immediate gratification of your desires?  

If so, it is never too late to do the right thing.  

Ask God to change you.  

Become the man that God knows you can be.  

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

(Continued from yesterday)

As the sons of these two men grew up, they each went their respective ways, moving to various parts of the country.  The difference was, the pastor's sons wanted to return to see their father.  The sons, all leaders in their own right in different parts of the country, enjoyed their father's advice, steadiness, humble strength and faith in God.  

The cattleman's sons did not want to see their father.  

In fact, they did their best to avoid him.  

Unfortunately, when they would visit their father, it wasn't uncommon for the cattleman and his sons to physically as well as verbally fight each other.  They would argue over cattle, land, money, food.  The cattleman's sons also had trouble in staying married to their first wives.  They and their children experienced the pain of separation, divorce, remarriage, anger, suspicion and the like.

So, now, we are getting to the end of our story.  What happened to these two men?  These men chose different paths for themselves and their family experienced the consequences of these men's choices.  

The cattleman died.  He didn't experience a long illness.  Just one day, he was no longer part of this earth.  The world woke up one morning and he did not.  The land and the cattle that he once owned were divided and sold.  His sons avoided each other.   The sensuality that the cattleman pursued, led to disjointed, isolated, marginally spiritual offspring.  His children rarely got together.  When they did, peace did not rule their relationships.

The pastor lived a long life.  He outlived the cattleman by a good 20 years.  His children stayed faithful to their spouses.  Interestingly, the years after the cattleman died became very rich for the pastor.  God's blessings increased exponentially.  God increased his faithfulness with abundance.  The pastor enjoyed his children, his grandchildren and quite a few great-grandchildren.  The pastor had made several, quiet, steady investments over the years and he found that he was experiencing the most financial success he had ever had.  He needed nothing.  God gave him all he needed and more.  

More importantly, the pastor enjoyed the spiritual success of his progeny.  Several of them followed in his footsteps and went into full-time ministry.  The other children became integral parts of their respective churches, supporting God's work both inside and outside the church.  All became leaders in their community/profession.  The pastor was able to see his heritage for several generations.  God blessed him with the opportunity to see that his steadiness, and his pursuit of "God first" paid off with eternal rewards.  

You see not only did this pastor and his progeny do well, but many of the people who were affected by his ministry over the years were blessed by this pastor's steadiness and quiet confidence in God's ability to care for his children.

However, just when it seems like a story is over, God does something amazing.  Just when you think you have God all figured out, He moves.  Tomorrow we will  discuss Esau Redeemed.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Once there were two friends.  One man wanted to be a pastor.  The other wanted to be a cattleman.  These men both had a desire to please God.  As they aged, studied their respective interests/calling, married and had children, God blessed them.  However, as God is 
wont to do, He did not bless them equally, or so it seemed.  

The cattleman felt sorry for the "poor pastor" who was raising his family on a very meager salary.  The cattleman quickly became wealthy.  He acquired land, cattle, fortune, and family.  In joking with the preacher, the cattleman said, "you know, I'm gonna end up taking care of you and your children.  With my wealth, you will be cared for."  

Nevertheless, the preacher stayed the course, doing what he believed God wanted him to do.  After the preacher married, the doctor gave him bad news,  "I don't believe you'll ever be able to have children."  However, as God is wont to do, God doesn't have to listen to doctors.  So, it wasn't very long afterwards, they had their first child.  And then another.  And another...  It was tough, living on a pastor's salary with so many children.  There were times that they couldn't afford coats for these children to wear in the harsh winters of that region.  Yet, God did bless.   Miracles occurred in the pastor's family as they learned to rely upon  God.  The pastor's family learned that God does, indeed, take care of His children.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the cattleman lived well.  However, there were a few noticeable, glaring aspects to the cattleman's character.  The wealthier he became, the less he needed God.  He could easily provide for his family. 

Also, the cattleman lived a life of sensuality.  Much like Esau, he became a rather coarse fellow, using brash language, not delaying his gratification.  He gave himself whatever his heart desired.  This lifestyle led to tension within his own family.  His children saw that even though the cattleman was a Christian man, what he said often did not match up with what he did.  His children strayed from God's best for their lives.  However, they did not stray too far.  They frequently went to church, they proclaimed Jesus as their Savior but they always had Esau's seed in them.  They, too, could be brash, insensitive, living in their own sensuality.   Like their father, they were not bad people.  Just edgy.  Slightly missing the mark for what God desired for them.

When these two families got together on special occasions, the cattleman's sons challenged the pastor's son to games of strength and daring, often berating their manhood.  "Come on, be brave!  Don't be such a wimp!" were words the pastor's children often heard when challenged to do things that were marginally safe, sensual, just a bit edgy. 

The pastor's sons noticed, also, that the cattleman's sons would grab the biggest or choicest pieces of food from the table, when offered one piece of bread, they would take two, drink the most iced tea, all without giving thought to others.  The cattleman's sons weren't bad men, they just lived more sensually than the pastor' sons.   However, they were missing the mark of God's standards for holiness.

(Tomorrow, we will discuss part two of this story)

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Today we are concluding our discussion of bad boys with the Chaotic Religious Bad Boy.   This man has had repeated false starts and failures in his life.  He may also have impulsivity in various parts of his life: spending, sex, gambling, substance abuse, shoplifting, overeating  or intentionally punishing himself.  He will often have outbursts of intense anger and frequent episodes of a lack of control.

He has a severe identity problem.  He may have turbulent shorts of mood ranging from depression to anxiety to irritability and rage.  These moods may last from a few hours to a few days with a quick return to a seemingly normal mood.  He is intolerant of being alone and frantically tries to find someone to be with so that he will not be depressed.  He thinks of his life as being chronically empty and boring.

In church, he will have many people to whom he frantically appeals.  There may be from two to twenty people who are seeking to "help" him.  He is a topic of frequent conversation among these people, talking about his latest episodes of terror:  self-multilation, suicidal gestures, accidents, or fights.  Church for this bad boy is not about intimacy with God.  Rather, church is a place where there are numerous people who protect him from being alone.  When he becomes frantic about being alone, several people in the congregation will be called in rapid succession.

How can the church help the Chaotic Religious Bad Boy?

The whole church can become emotionally exhausted after several crises.  The spiritual dilemma of caring for these men is knowing how to be a steadfast, sustaining person and at the same time maintain realistic but considerate limits on his demanding nature.  

Therefore, a quiet, patient, persistent quest to help them know the mind and purpose of God in his life, sustained and enriched by the assurance that he is a beloved Child of God, who has a meaning, a purpose, a place, and a loving use for his, is the overall strategy in the church's care of him.

The church needs to be a steadfast community of faith questing with him for growth in his emotional and spiritual life.  We need to be a community of encouragement and celebration with him as he gets his life together in God's presence.

Many thanks to the deceased Dr. Oates from whom much of this information is taken.  His seminal work Behind the Masks should be read by those in positions of leadership in the church.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.