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Built for opposition

3/4/2014

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Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table—Revelation 3:21

Ever been in the middle of something tough, prayed for rescue... and heard nothing? Ever questioned God, in frustration, “Why don’t you answer?”

 Could it be that God doesn’t always answer because, sometimes, he wants us to stay right where we are and learn, there, how to fight? Could it be that God sometimes allows trouble and pain to train us, to build our maturity, to make us more reliable conduits of his love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control? We often consider trouble and pain as unnecessary, to be avoided, hindrances to our ease and happiness. Might it make more sense to consider trouble and pain as opposition, as a mountaineer views the pitch and the altitude, or as a soldier views the bullets and the bombs?

 We aren’t meant to be men who avoid opposition, numb it or deny it. We aren’t meant to run from battles, to hide and to let others fight. We’re built for opposition. Truthfully, we’d probably wither without it. We must see it, though, for what it is: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12). Our struggle is against being lured into selfishness, indifference, impatience, rage, resignation, or sin, in the face of problems at work, or in our finances or relationships or families. These are epic struggles—battles worthy of any man.

God doesn’t always take opposition away, brother, because he’s built you to conquer, not to cower. And he’s given you everything you’ll need. 

Copyright © 2013 Gather Ministries, All rights reserved.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Holy Power

3/3/2014

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When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick…So they set out and went from village to village, preaching the gospel and healing people everywhere. (Luke 9:1, 6)

Now this is just extraordinary—Jesus has absolutely no need to be the center of the action. He sends his friends out to do the very things he does; he gives them a major role in his campaign. “You go do it. Do everything you see me doing.” This is humble and this is extraordinarily generous; Jesus is absolutely openhanded with his kingdom. There is no need for the whole thing to be always about him. He is absolutely delighted to share his kingdom with us. He later says, “Don’t be afraid little ones your father is delighted to give you the kingdom.”

Most men get power and then crave more; as their stars rise they can’t bear to have others in the spotlight; they typically abuse the power they have; and in the end, it winds up crushing them and everyone around them. You recall the expression “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” It was a lesson learned through the long soiled history of men and power. But then we have Jesus, who walks right through the snares as if they weren’t even there, handling immense power with casual grace.



This post is an excerpt from the book, The Utter Relief of Holiness, by John Eldredge


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Ten Principles for successful fathering

2/19/2014

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While practices help us learn the how's of successful fatherhood, principles provide the framework for our fathering. Principles are the underlying philosophy, the way we think about our important role. And we way we think and feel about fatherhood frames our behavior, our responses and our attitudes.

The Emotional Bank Account. Dr. Stephen Covey, one of the professors in my graduate school program many years ago and now one of the most influential leadership gurus in the world, taught me the principle of the Emotional Bank Account before I was ever a father. The basics of the emotional bank account involve making deposits of trust and faith in the lives of our children. The emotional bank account is about communication, love, loyalty and integrity.

The Most Important Gift is Time. We can give our children things that money can buy: video games, iPod's, designer clothes and the hottest mountain bike. But nothing substitutes for our time and attention. Every father struggles with keeping work, self and family in balance; some seem to be able to strike that balance and avoid challenges like workaholism. We have also found that not all time is equal. There is a difference between quality time and quantity time. But my experience suggests that it is tough to have quality time without enough quantity.

Teaching Responsibility. Fathers are in a unique position in a child's life to teach responsibility and the value of work. We teach it by example by keeping our commitments, by putting family first and by enduring hard times. We also teach by giving children stewardship and demanding accountability, whether it is with chores, school work or other aspects of their young lives. Helping children learn to be responsible as children and later as adults is among our most critical roles.

Use your Golden Sword. Family relationship expert Gary Smalley teaches the analogy of the two swords. The silver sword reflects our positional power, of the power we use in our workday world. The golden sword is the sword of personal power, that works best at home. Trying to use positional power with the children is dangerous and often has unintended negative results. But using the gold sword of personal power, described with words like "warmth, sensitivity, dependability, determination, genuine compassion, affection, and caring" has great application at home. So take off the silver sword and strap on the golden sword when you walk through the front door at home.

Walk the Talk. A father who is a "Do as I say, not as I do" kind of dad will never have the respect of his children, or anyone else for that matter. Walking the talk--being what you want your children to be--is a symbol of integrity. But it requires personal discipline and sacrifice. Being a man of principle and living congruently with those principles is an essential element of successful fatherhood.

Consistency. Fathers are best when their approach is predictable and consistent. Children get a strong message when fathers are firm and solid in their approach. Being a "marshmallow" with your children is easier, but it hurts them in the long run. Being fair and consistent in discipline is important. When a father makes a rule, it should be enforced. Limits that are set and then moved are not limits at all, with either a child or with a parent.

High Expectations. Successful fathers set high but realistic expectations for themselves and for their children. And then they work together to achieve those expectations. They read together so that they learn how to learn. They work together to achieve important ends. And they celebrate their accomplishments and learn from their mistakes.

Expressions of Love. Fathers who have great relationships with their children have learned to express love in meaningful ways. They tailor their expressions to the way each child receives love. They are gentle but firm even when disciplining, and then show afterward an increase in love. They find little ways to express love, and they do it every day when the kids are living at home.

Mutual Respect. When a father shows respect for his children and others, they are more likely to respect him. Keeping expectations clear, being even handed and level headed, and respecting children's self-worth all help breed an atmosphere of mutual respect. And when a father respects their child's mother, regardless of whether they are married or divorced, children learn to respect him more completely.

Making Values Count. It is not enough for a father to teach behavior; successful fathers also teach values. They have a rich spiritual life (however they define that) and connect to nature and timeless values. They respect womanhood, they are honest, the live by standards of moral integrity. Great fathers help pass on these values to their children rather than leaving them valueless in a world where values seem to shift with the sands of time.



This post was written by Wayne Parker.  The original post can be found here:  http://fatherhood.about.com/od/succeedingasafather/a/principles.htm?nl=1


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Are you bearing a cross?

1/30/2014

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Chinese Christian author, Watchman Nee in his book Spiritual Authority comments, "Christ did not come to earth to bear the cross; He came to earth to do the will of His Father."    

In my counseling experience, I have come across well-meaning Christians who bear crosses.  These people have lost their first love:  to be fully obedient to God.  Instead, they have become stuck in legalism, others' expectations, their own expectations and have forgotten that their first loyalty belongs to God.  They think they are serving God but their ministry has become a cross to bear.  

One cross-bearing missionary came to me for aid in her mission work. She was pushed by external pressure to constantly perform.  She taught 36 Bible Schools that summer, lead 4 ladies Bible studies every week (both tasks were done in Spanish, which was not her primary language), home-schooled her three children as  well as keeping a mission operating while the mission budget was being slashed.  

Unfortunately, she ended up in the hospital at the point of mental, physical and spiritual exhaustion.  Her caring and wise physician saw the cross she was carrying and ordered her to bed rest and counseling while her husband took care of mission business and the children.  Through counseling, she came to the realization that in her first year of ministry, that she was attempting to accomplish everything the missionary before her did (that missionary had over 10 years of experience at that mission).  

Through intensive medical, psychological and spiritual help, she understood God's call to "natural ministry."  She came to see that obedience to God is not necessarily bearing the cross of formal full-time ministry.  She allowed God to change the focus of her ministry to being a full-time Christian mother and looked for "natural ways" of telling people about Jesus.  It was not long before she gained more acceptance by the people that she served in the mission.  This acceptance led to more conversions and a more varied and exciting ministry.  

My questions to you are:

- Are you bearing a cross or are you being obedient to God?
- Do you get so caught up in legalism, your and others' expectations that you miss the promptings of the Holy Spirit?

God has people that possibly only you can reach.  However, you can only reach them by saying "yes" to God and allowing His Holy Spirit to direct your activity.  

Give yourself totally to God.  Be 100% sold out to His will.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sovereignty

12/20/2013

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I was reading the prophet Jeremiah a few weeks ago when I ran across a passage that referred to God as "the Lord Almighty." To be honest, it didn't resonate. There's something too religious about the phrase; it sounds churchy, sanctimonious. The Lawd Almiiiighty. It sounds like something your grandmother would say when you came into her kitchen covered in mud. I found myself curious about what the actual phrase means in Hebrew. Might we have lost something in the translation? So I turned to the front of the version I was using for an explanation. Here is what the editors said:

Because for most readers today the phrases "the Lord of hosts" and "God of hosts" have little meaning, this version renders them "the Lord Almighty" and "God Almighty." These renderings convey the sense of the Hebrew, namely, "he who is sovereign over all the 'hosts' (powers) in heaven and on earth, especially over the 'hosts' (armies) of Israel."

No, they don't. They don't even come close. The Hebrew means "the God of angel armies," "the God of the armies who fight for his people." The God who is at war. Does "Lord Almighty" convey "the God who is at war"? Not to me, it doesn't. Not to anyone I've asked. It sounds like "the God who is up there but still in charge." Powerful, in control. The God of angel armies sounds like the one who would roll up his sleeves, take up sword and shield to break down gates of bronze, and cut through bars of iron to rescue me.

This post was written by John Eldredge.  This post is an excerpt from his book, Waking the Dead.



BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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"When something turns on you, you kill it."

12/6/2013

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Unfortunately, our time in Ecuador did not end as well as I wanted.  I started hearing rumors among the missionary community that the pastor I worked with was abusive towards his wife.  I couldn't believe it, he seemed like such a nice guy.  He seemed to be kind and friendly.   I had however noticed that his wife had bruises on her wrists at  times.  

I had some doubts about him before I heard these rumors.  I knew that he kept a file on various people in the community as I came upon it accidentally one time in the church office.  It was filled with comments and remarks about certain individuals and seemed kinda inappropriate coming from a pastor.  Yet, I put it back and didn't say anything about it.  

He also had several snakes he kept in his office that he had picked up from the Amazon while traveling back and forth there.  I don't care for snakes but I don't think it's particularly unusual to have snakes for pets.  What was strange, for me, was he would let them out and they would crawl around the office, often laying up on the window sill sunning themselves or chasing the many lizards that were available.  

Thirdly, he didn't seem particularly friendly to Ecuadorians who would drop by the office.  Some he would make fun of but usually he ushered them out of the office waiting area.  I think that it was mainly because he hardly spoke Spanish, in spite of having lived there a number of years.  That was really odd to me... Living in a country and not learning the language.

Finally, he told me about his Christmas sermon that he wrote.  The subject was unusual, it was about how Satan was present during the birth of Christ.  He told me that he wrote his sermon, almost automatically.  He said that he put the pen in his hand and the words just seemed to flow out on to the paper, without him giving it much thought.  I wondered what was the inspiration for the sermon.



Yet, I kept those four things to myself.  I only talked to Karyn about them.

I finally decided that I needed to ask him about the rumors I was hearing about him being abusive.  I was NOT accusing him.  My mistake was that I should have confided in a board member and had a board member present when I spoke with him.  As I told him what I heard, I could see him getting red in the face, his nostrils flared and his hands clenched.  I thought he was going to hit me. He demanded that I tell him where I heard such horrible rumors and I told him that I wouldn't tell him but that I thought he deserved to know that people were saying such things about him.

I thought that was the end of it, I believed that possibly, those rumors weren't true.  However, the next morning, my suspicions were confirmed.  When I got to the office, he was standing at his office window laughing at an Ecuadorian woman who was going thru the church trash.  He was laughing because all of a sudden, she jumped and ran off.  I asked him what was so funny.  He said, "I had to kill one of my snakes because he bit me and I had him in the trash there. She found it and it scared her.  Being raised on a farm, I learned early that when something turns on you, you kill it."  Then he had a big grin on his face.  I left his office and went to my office to think about what just happened.   The timing was unmistakable.  I decided to write a letter to my missions board letting them know what was going on.  In less than a week, I got a reply, "We think it's better you just come home."  

When I told this pastor that my missions board was calling us back early, he said, "don't think that means that you can play.  You still have a lot of people to see here.  If you have an appointment or not, I want you sitting in that office."  I protested as this was new behavior.  Before, he said if I didn't have appointments, I could go home to Karyn and the boys.  Yet, I did comply.  It was difficult as we had to make plans to move back to the States and that required some coordination with Karyn and we needed to get rid of things in our apartment that we wouldn't take back with us.  Nevertheless, because I'm married to such a capable spouse, we managed to successfully move and were gone within a month.

Once we got back in the States, I heard that he got transferred to another church in the US and there he experienced a divorce.  I don't know the particulars and I was saddened to hear it.  I was saddened because that showed that his marriage was troubled.  If he could have confided in me, I could have possibly helped him save his marriage.  I really liked his wife and his children and him.  I can imagine that this divorce was very disruptive to his family and probably ended his career as an ordained minister.  I haven't heard since the divorce what happened to him or his family but I still pray that God would move in his life so that he experiences true forgiveness and reconciliation.  



BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Missionary anxiety

12/3/2013

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I was with him in the hospital.  This missionary had been hospitalized for anxiety.  "I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't stop worrying and shaking.  My insides just feel like they are made of jello."  

This missionary had been on the mission field  for several years and had much success at bringing the gospel to an indigenous people in a country in South America.  However, now, he was having emotional issues that have taken him out of his ministry.  We discussed his past, his calling, his mission and he was truly a remarkable man.  We discussed his spiritual life and all seemed in place, with one exception:  he had been cursed by the local "bruja".  This witch had performed a ceremony to bring down Christ's influence among "her people."   Her home was within site of the church that had been established in this community.  He had seen her performing her "brujeria" during one of his sermons in his church.  

Somehow, this witch's "power" had gotten to him and he began to worry, doubting God's ability to protect him from such brujeria.  We prayed at every session asking God to protect him and show us what He wanted us to do.  One time, while praying, the missionary stopped praying and yelled, "that is it!"  A big smile spread across his face and he said, "I now know what's been going on!" He proceeded to tell me he had heard a cryptic story that a few of the church members told him about a "service" that the bruja held just outside the church in the middle of the nite.  From that point on, the missionary became stronger and much less anxious.  He began to talk about "taking the church back from the witch."  Within less than two weeks after his epiphany, he was discharged and returned to his mission field.

About a month later, I received a terrific letter of explanation and testimony from this missionary.  Evidently, what had happened, when he returned to the church, he told his congregation about his feelings about this bruja and told them he was determined to not let her win this spiritual battle.  During prayer with his congregation, it was revealed to them that they should dig in the dirt of the northwest corner, just outside the church.  Several members and the missionary went outside and started digging.  After a bit, they found a talisman buried there.  One of the members, who used to be into brujeria identified the object as something used to curse people.  The missionary promptly continued the service where the talisman was burned in a fire.    In his letter, he proceeded to tell me how he felt as if there was a new freedom in the church after that.

However, what was most interesting, is that he wrote me, "I was foolish to believe that satan had any power over me and the church.  I was fighting to defeat the devil and I had no need to do so.  A talisman is just that, a talisman.  It has no power and no ability to hurt me.  I learned from that experience that I didn't need to fight, I just needed to relax and let God fight for me.  I was being a missionary under my own power.  Now, Jesus is running this mission field."

This story was a real faith builder for me and I hope it is for you.  We don't need to fear, we need to trust God and count on His faithfulness.  Satan can't do anything except try to intimidate and scare.  His power lies in his ability to spread fear and doubt.  Satan is full of bluster and bluff and has no power over us.  As long as we stay connected to God's Holy Spirit, we are victorious.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Building Character

8/3/2013

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God is aching for you to be one with Him, that He might use you.  He wants to give you a voice in His kingdom.  He wants to show you his power.

So when He defines His terms of sexual purity, don’t say, “God can’t possibly mean that!” because He does.  Christ is looking to see where you can be trustworthy – capable of handling more for His Kingdom.  Jesus says, “So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?”

If you aren’t trustworthy in handling fleshly passions, how can you be trusted to handle things of great value?    Jesus said that if you were faithful in the little things, He would entrust you with bigger things.  In this, God isn’t primarily referring to what He’s called you to do in His kingdom.  He’s primarily concerned with what He’s called you to be in your character.

Maybe you’ve asked God to reveal His will for your life, but how are you doing with that “little” part of His will that He has already revealed to you?

Excerpted from Every Young Man’s Battle – pages 80-81



BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Power:  Jesus' Way

7/16/2013

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When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick…So they set out and went from village to village, preaching the gospel and healing people everywhere. (Luke 9:1, 6)

Now this is just extraordinary—Jesus has absolutely no need to be the center of the action. He sends his friends out to do the very things he does; he gives them a major role in his campaign. “You go do it. Do everything you see me doing.” This is humble and this is extraordinarily generous; Jesus is absolutely openhanded with his kingdom. There is no need for the whole thing to be always about him. He is absolutely delighted to share his kingdom with us. He later says, “Don’t be afraid little ones your father is delighted to give you the kingdom.”

Most men get power and then crave more; as their stars rise they can’t bear to have others in the spotlight; they typically abuse the power they have; and in the end, it winds up crushing them and everyone around them. You recall the expression “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” It was a lesson learned through the long soiled history of men and power. But then we have Jesus, who walks right through the snares as if they weren’t even there, handling immense power with casual grace.



This post is excerpted from the book, The Utter Relief of Holiness, by John Eldredge


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Sunday Meditation

6/23/2013

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Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.

There are days when we feel God's presence. We sense God's love. We see God's power. But we do not always feel or sense or see. There are times of silence, distance and uncertainty. There

are the difficult times of waiting for God to appear. In times like
this we may find ourselves both longing for God and fearing that God will come.

The longing comes because in our heart of hearts we know that there is no recovery without God's gracious presence. If God does not appear, we are stuck, bound, hopelessly entangled in dysfunction. If God does appear, it will be like the sun rising - we will be able to see the way. It will be like gentle rains which nurture us so that we can grow and thrive.

The fear comes because often we do not see God as one who comes as 'sun' and 'rain' to give life. We are afraid that when God does appear, it will be to punish us, to demand restitution from us, to shame us. Because we have served vengeful and vindictive gods, we fear that it will be the god-of-impossible-expectations who will finally appear.

We do well to follow the urging of this text to 'acknowledge God'. We need daily to examine whom we serve. When we acknowledge the god-of -impossible-expectations, then we will surely fear his appearing. But if we acknowledge the God of the Bible whose coming is to nurture and give life, then we will await God's coming like the dawn of a new day.

I acknowledge you, Lord.
You are not the god of impossible-expectations.
You are not the god-who-is-eager-to-punish.
I know what it is like when these other gods come.
They bring shame, blame and fear.
I do not acknowledge them, Lord.
I acknowledge you.

Come as the dawn of a new day, Lord.
Bring light into my dark days.
Come as gentle rain, Lord,
Cleanse, renew and nurture.
Come, Lord, as the dawn.
Come as the rains.
Water the parched earth of my soul.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

National Association for Christian Recovery


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