Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to actual lives.
We recently received true stories from the Philippines and New Zealand that show just how different life can be when porn isn’t in the mix. Some stories, like these ones, exemplify how porn can cause users to objectify people and evaluate them for parts more than see them as they truly are. Then, without porn, they realize life and love are so much more real and enjoyable.
Dear FTND,
So this is what it feels like being head-over-heels in love with a girl. Your cities of residence may be neighbors, but it feels like a million miles apart, all because she isn’t with you. You imagine having kids with her. You imagine doing household chores with her. You imagine the occasional glance at her that feels like you are looking at the world’s wonders combined, and your day is made. You imagine showing her all the skeletons in your closet, and she’ll be ok with that.
If I had sex with her (which I am reserving until marriage), I would imagine how pleasurable it would be, joining with her. I know for sure it won’t be in the same manner that porn stars do it, because my beloved isn’t a porn star, but rather, a human being with a wonderful personality, coupled by divine-molded beauty. I won’t have sex at her; I will have it with her.
Did I feel like this when I was addicted to porn? Did I feel like I wanted to be with porn, love it, and marry it? Did porn give me this giddy feeling? My answer: NO.
So, tell me FTND, is this how it feels like looking at a girl without porn-tinted eyes for the first time, just 4 days into a porn-free life?
Thanks,
Fighter from the Philippines
Hey FTND,
It has been 80 days without porn, and although I am realistic about relapses and reality of how things go, so not out of the woods yet. But I’m very pleased with progress!
The very unexpected payoff has been in my sex life. I would have said that my past issues with watching porn very frequently no longer affected my sex life. More recently, I only looked at porn once every 4 – 6 weeks, and that wouldn’t have much affect on one’s sex life, would it? I was soooo wrong! Have noticed that the intimacy and connection seems so much stronger, deeper and more intense. It is like we have gone back to those first years of marriage when youthful vigor made the bedroom an awesome place.
It has flowed outside the bedroom as well with more loving touch and hugs. Our marriage was already in a good space, but this change has made it even better.
I have no idea what exactly has created this (as a science geek, I like to figure out the why’s) but very happy and stoked that this has occurred. And look forward to a self-reinforcing behavior, as it is much better this way.
Cheers,
Fighter from New Zealand
Reality is so much better than the synthetic world porn depicts. Porn is devoid of real connection and intimacy, and sets users up to have unrealistic expectations of their partner. These stories reinforce that life and love are so much better and richer without porn.
Real people have quirks, flaws, and personalities that even the “best” porn can’t rival. These Fighters’ lives were changed after just a few weeks or days, so imagine how awesome a year and more would be without porn.
This post was taken from Fight the New Drug. You can find their website here: http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/love-is-more-real-after-i-stopped-watching-porn/
We recently received true stories from the Philippines and New Zealand that show just how different life can be when porn isn’t in the mix. Some stories, like these ones, exemplify how porn can cause users to objectify people and evaluate them for parts more than see them as they truly are. Then, without porn, they realize life and love are so much more real and enjoyable.
Dear FTND,
So this is what it feels like being head-over-heels in love with a girl. Your cities of residence may be neighbors, but it feels like a million miles apart, all because she isn’t with you. You imagine having kids with her. You imagine doing household chores with her. You imagine the occasional glance at her that feels like you are looking at the world’s wonders combined, and your day is made. You imagine showing her all the skeletons in your closet, and she’ll be ok with that.
If I had sex with her (which I am reserving until marriage), I would imagine how pleasurable it would be, joining with her. I know for sure it won’t be in the same manner that porn stars do it, because my beloved isn’t a porn star, but rather, a human being with a wonderful personality, coupled by divine-molded beauty. I won’t have sex at her; I will have it with her.
Did I feel like this when I was addicted to porn? Did I feel like I wanted to be with porn, love it, and marry it? Did porn give me this giddy feeling? My answer: NO.
So, tell me FTND, is this how it feels like looking at a girl without porn-tinted eyes for the first time, just 4 days into a porn-free life?
Thanks,
Fighter from the Philippines
Hey FTND,
It has been 80 days without porn, and although I am realistic about relapses and reality of how things go, so not out of the woods yet. But I’m very pleased with progress!
The very unexpected payoff has been in my sex life. I would have said that my past issues with watching porn very frequently no longer affected my sex life. More recently, I only looked at porn once every 4 – 6 weeks, and that wouldn’t have much affect on one’s sex life, would it? I was soooo wrong! Have noticed that the intimacy and connection seems so much stronger, deeper and more intense. It is like we have gone back to those first years of marriage when youthful vigor made the bedroom an awesome place.
It has flowed outside the bedroom as well with more loving touch and hugs. Our marriage was already in a good space, but this change has made it even better.
I have no idea what exactly has created this (as a science geek, I like to figure out the why’s) but very happy and stoked that this has occurred. And look forward to a self-reinforcing behavior, as it is much better this way.
Cheers,
Fighter from New Zealand
Reality is so much better than the synthetic world porn depicts. Porn is devoid of real connection and intimacy, and sets users up to have unrealistic expectations of their partner. These stories reinforce that life and love are so much better and richer without porn.
Real people have quirks, flaws, and personalities that even the “best” porn can’t rival. These Fighters’ lives were changed after just a few weeks or days, so imagine how awesome a year and more would be without porn.
This post was taken from Fight the New Drug. You can find their website here: http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/love-is-more-real-after-i-stopped-watching-porn/
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