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The best way to block porn (part two)

1/31/2017

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Pure Thinking is the Ultimate Porn Blocker

For individuals dealing with emotional or addictive issues, the science of neuroplasticity and the power of pure thinking play a huge role. Take pornography addiction for example. Numerous studies and years of research have shown that viewing pornography changes the neuropathways of the brain. These pathways become more ingrained as one continually looks at pornographic content, resulting in a “path of least resistance” in the brain. This then leads to desensitivity to the content and fuels the addiction process.

However, knowing what our brains are capable of is an exciting reassurance in conquering the battlefields of our minds. Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, a leading expert in neuroplasticity, had this to say in an interview with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation:

“When you understand how the brain works somewhat better, you can use that information to literally enhance your own perspective, broaden your own sense of your capacities and, with that awareness, learn to focus on other things knowing that if you focus on other things consistently you can change what’s there. You can change the way that real estate is used.”

With any addiction, the choice to re-wire our brain and begin blocking porn from our thoughts is never easy and takes hard work. One cannot buy a product to “fix” this—it has to come from within. Thinking purely takes daily focus, determination, and patience.

Author and licensed counselor Michael John Cusick shares his expertise on how to reboot our brains in a positive, pure direction. Each of these actions can also serve those who want to block porn from their lives:
  1. Cusick first instructs on the need to practice intentional thinking. When we shift away from the negative issue or thinking, our brains will start to do the same.
  2. Next, pursue alternate passions. When one is in an addictive holding pattern, tunnel vision sets in and many cannot see past the confines of their addiction. By trying new things, the focus begins to shift away from the addiction and begins to rewire the brain to have more affinity towards the new experiences it is taking in.
  3. Lastly, employ the power of repetition. As shown earlier, repeated behaviors create structural changes in the brain. Just as those behaviors can be negative, resulting in addiction and other disorders, they can also be changed into a positive by repetitious thinking and actions. Cusick notes that as an athlete develops muscle memory, so does repetition lock behaviors in the brain.

Additional Ways to Block Porn and Change Our Thoughts

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” –Philippians 4:8

As individuals focus on changing their purity of thinking this year, here are some additional ways to stay inspired and keep the momentum going:
  • Engage in positive self-talk. Positive and encouraging messages to one’s self lead to a greater success in changing the direction of thinking and breaking habits and addictions. If you struggle with pornography, it might include positive messages like, “I can block pornography from my mind!”
  • Practice daily gratitude. Psychologists show that consistently practicing this helps to reframe the nature of our thinking. On difficult days, maybe when you are finding it difficult to block porn from your thoughts, take time out to think of the things that you are most thankful for. Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t have. Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow. Taking a few moments to do this shifts one’s ‘state’ to a better place.
  • Be an example to others. The change in your thinking will start to become outwardly evident and may even start a change in someone else.
  • Be accountable. Have someone help to keep you on track with your thoughts and actions. Practice daily or weekly check-ins to discuss your progress. Finding a trusted friend to help you change behavior is one of the most effective ways to stop watching porn or block any other bad habit out of your life for good.
  • Pray and meditate. The quiet time spent will help to consistently re-focus and re-affirm your goals. Be specific with these prayers and say, “God, help me take my thoughts captive! I want to block porn from my mind. I need your help to do this!”
  • Exercise. Not just good for us physically, exercise helps to clear the mind and relieve stress.

This post is taken from Covenant Eyes:  www.covenanteyes.com/2017/01/23/block-porn/   

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The best way to block porn (part one)

1/30/2017

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Why a Porn Blocker Alone Often Fails
Probably one of the most obvious and simple ways to stop looking at porn is to employ some kind of filter to remove the junk. There are many Internet filters on the market today. Covenant Eyes also has a filter. And, for many people, using a filter is a good thing, particularly if there are young people in the home.

In Psalm 119:37 it says, “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.” If we choose to keep our eyes clear, it “gives us life.” 


But, for anyone struggling with consuming pornography who has employed a filter as their primary method for changing their behavior, most find that nothing really changes. Have you ever seen a sign on a wall that says, “Don’t Touch–Wet Paint?” What are most people automatically inclined to do–at least be tempted to do? That’s right–touch the wall! That rebellious nature in every human heart is drawn to that which we should not do–especially in the midst of battle if we are trying to break free.

Even St. Paul understands our struggle when he says, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15). For many caught in a porn addiction, a filter alone simply becomes a challenge to beat, and many are highly successful in finding “holes” in the filter and continue to look at porn.

Maybe there’s a better way.

Maybe the reason for the low success rate regarding resolutions is because the root cause of our many habits and hang-ups is never addressed: our thinking. Even more specifically, the purity of our thinking.

For years, we’ve heard about the power of positive thinking—and with good reason. There is actual science behind this. But, can positive thinking actually help us block pornography?

The Brain Can Change (Neuroplasticity)
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“You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” –James Allen (author of As a Man Thinketh)

At the heart of all the “New Year’s goals” lies the desire to simply be a better, purer person this year. Maybe your goal is to be kinder in thought and deed to others. Maybe it’s about being less critical, judgmental, or breaking negative thought patterns about oneself. Maybe it’s about heavier issues like struggling with various forms of addiction.

The Brain That Changes Itself, the acclaimed book by Dr. Norman Doidge, shares the amazing science of brain plasticity and ways to harness its power to make lasting positive changes.

In an interview with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, Dr. Doidge shares the story of Michelle Mack, a woman born with literally half a brain. The left hemisphere of Michelle’s brain was missing—the hemisphere that controls speech and thought. Yet to meet Michelle, Doidge shares, the deficiency was not overtly obvious. This patient was able to work a job, vote in elections, and had a great sense of humor. This was possible because Michelle’s right hemisphere took over the job of the left.

While the vast majority of the population will never suffer from a neurological disorder, Michelle’s story illustrates that our brains are equipped to do some pretty heavy lifting. The ability to “re-structure” the mind gives great hope to those who struggle with mental illness, addictions, and other negative or destructive thought patterns.

As positive thinking changes the brain in a physical way, pure thinking can do the same. Taking what we know about the effect of positive thinking and applying that to the power of pure thinking can set the stage for some inspiring change in one’s life.

This way of thinking allows us to actually chart the course of our thoughts by trudging new pathways in our brain. Through repetitiously focusing on the purity of thoughts, the old pathways become less traveled and more difficult to follow. For those who want to block porn out of their life, this is incredibly positive news.


This post is taken from Covenant Eyes:  www.covenanteyes.com/2017/01/23/block-porn/ part two will be published tomorrow.

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Sunday Meditation

1/29/2017

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"They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea." 
Isaiah. 11. 9.

Upon God's Holy Mountain all is peace.
Of clanging arms and cries and wail, no sound
Goes up to mingle with the gentle breeze,
That bears its perfum'd whispers all around. 
Beneath its trees that spread their blooming light, 
The spotted leopard walks; the ox is there; 
The yellow lion stands in conscious might, 
Breathing the dewy and illumin'd air. 
A little child doth take him by the mane, 
And leads him forth, and plays beneath his breast. 
Nought breaks the quiet of that blest domain, 
Nought mars its harmony and heavenly rest: 
Picture divine and emblem of that day, 
When peace on earth and truth shall hold unbroken sway.

— The Religious Offering (1835) Scripture Sonnets XII by Thomas Cogswell Upham.  His blog is managed by Craig L Adams and can be found here:   
http://thomascupham.blogspot.com

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Forgiving in the name of God

1/28/2017

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​We are all wounded people. Who wounds us? Often those whom we love and those who love us. When we feel rejected, abandoned, abused, manipulated, or violated, it is mostly by people very close to us: our parents, our friends, our spouses, our lovers, our children, our neighbors, our teachers, our pastors. Those who love us wound us too. That's the tragedy of our lives. This is what makes forgiveness from the heart so difficult. It is precisely our hearts that are wounded. We cry out, "You, who I expected to be there for me, you have abandoned me. How can I ever forgive you for that?"

Forgiveness often seems impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. The God who lives within us will give us the grace to go beyond our wounded selves and say, "In the Name of God you are forgiven." Let's pray for that grace.

For further reflection...

"This, then, is how you should pray:  'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name... Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.'  For if your forgive [humans] when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive [them] their sins, your heavenly Father will not forgive you." - Matthew 6: 9, 12, 14-15

This devotional was written by Henri Nouwen.   
You can find his website here:  henrinouwen.org ​​​


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Will You Go Out Without Knowing?

1/27/2017

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He went out, not knowing whither he went. -- Hebrews 11:8

Have you been “out” in this way? If so, there is no logical statement possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the difficulties in Christian work is this question — “What do you expect to do?” You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually revise your attitude towards God and see if it is a going out of everything, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in perpetual wonder — you do not know what God is going to do next. Each morning you wake it is to be a “going out,” building in confidence on God. “Take no thought for your life,…nor yet for your body” — take no thought for the things for which you did take thought before you “went out.”

Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you go out in surrender to Him until you are not surprised an atom at anything He does?

Suppose God is the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him — what an impertinence worry is! Let the attitude of the life be a continual “going out” in dependence upon God, and your life will have an ineffable charm about it which is a satisfaction to Jesus. You have to learn to go out of convictions, out of creeds, out of experiences, until, so far as your faith is concerned, there is nothing between yourself and God.

This devotional was written by Oswald Chambers.


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Bible Stories for Strong Stomachs

1/26/2017

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Prolific author and eminent theologian, Barry Callen, presents us with an interesting proposition.  His newest book, Bible Stories for Strong Stomachs, is a departure from the way that God’s Word is usually approached.  Callen takes us on a journey of 28 select Bible stories that are “shocking, ‘R’ rated, full of seedy characters and unsolved mysteries that convey God’s Word in the weirdest ways.”
 
Divided into 4 sections of 7 stories each, Callen helps the reader to discover:  1) People are just pitiful!, 2) God sure is different!, 3) How not to be God’s people!, and 4) Crazy possibilities for the future.  He tackles menstruation, coitus interruptus, incest, bowel movements, sexual foreplay, nude parties, UFO’s, prostitution, infanticide, women warriors, idolatry, sorcery, floating animals, bears eating boys, hallucinating donkeys, tree climbers, godly wrestling, whale nausea and other “sickening” topics with panache and humor.
 
Callen makes some very interesting and colorful propositions in this book.  For example, he notes that the Israeli spies were probably not some weak, simple, choir boys but men who previously were involved in sexual conquests that went to Rahab for the purpose of not only furthering her business ventures but also to gain information that they needed to conquer Jericho.  And then to top it off, Rahab marries Joshua and finds herself in the lineage of the Messiah!  This is definitely a strange story indeed!
 
Callen creates a “whale of a tale” about a big fish with a sense of humor that bargains with God in doing the will of God to bring salvation to godless gentiles.  In this example, Wally the Whale makes a deal with God, “only one thing, God, a very little thing to you.  Once this character is out of my system, promise that you’ll send my way a nice big meal that I’m allowed to swallow and digest.”  Callen follows up with a humorous quip, “God now was smiling broadly.  He can have a whale of a sense of humor, doing a deal with a big fish.  It was certainly a new wrinkle in the biblical world of ‘covenants.’  I’ll have Jonah to you in no time.  Just keep that big mouth open and I’ll get it filled for you.”  This story is definitely nauseating (at least for Wally) and full of humor and truth.
 
In each chapter, Callen tells the story (complete with biblical references), then he tells the “awkward story – on the surface,” then “the in-depth meaning – below the mere words” and then concludes with contemporary lessons for the reader.  His book is filled with discoveries, sickening humor, and biblical truths that you may have not previously considered. 

I strongly recommend that you purchase this book. you will find it published by Cascade Books, a division of Wipf and Stock. It will also be available on Amazon by February 2017.   Click here to purchase:  wipfandstock.com/bible-stories-for-strong-stomachs.html

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I've gotta be right!

1/25/2017

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After more than 30 years of marriage I think we have made some progress in our communication.  Let me tell you about a disagreement that we experienced in our marriage.  

Karyn was looking thru a sales circular and noted that there were some electric toothbrush heads that were for sale.  Karyn said, "look at the good price on these Oral-B toothbrush heads!"  I looked at the advertisement and said, "yes, that's a great price but we don't have Oral-B anymore.  (Actually it wasn't Oral-B but Phillips/Norelco but Karyn didn't correct me.) Remember it died and we bought another one?"  "Yeah, but we bought an Oral-B again."  I knew she was wrong.  It was a Braun toothbrush.  I knew that because I had just noted the day before that it was Braun.  Braun is a German brand and I was looking to see if it was multi-volt, able to work in 111-220 volts.  I was surprised when I looked at it that it was only a 110 volt.  I thought that was unusual for a Braun.  Every other Braun device I've had in the past was multi-volt.  In fact, my electric razor is Braun and it is multi-volt.  

I KNEW that I was correct.  So, I said, "No, it's a Braun.  Those toothbrush heads won't work on it.  We have to get Braun toothbrush heads."  Karyn repeated, "No, it's an Oral-B toothbrush, I know it is."  I reiterated, "I know for sure it's a Braun."

What came to mind as those last words popped out of my mouth was a quote from Swiss psychiatrist Paul Tournier in his book, To Understand Each Other.  Dr Tournier writes, "As long as a man is preoccupied primarily with being understood by his wife, he is miserable, overcome with self-pity, the spirit of demanding, and bitter withdrawal.  As soon as he becomes preoccupied with understanding her, seeking to understand that which he had not before understood, and with his own wrongdoing in not having understood her, then the direction taken by events begins to change."  

If Karyn and I had this disagreement 20 years ago, there may have been some sparks flying.  Have you ever noticed that often, in marriage, that disagreements are over petty, mostly insignificant things?  This makes sense because often you marry someone who is fairly similar to you.  You generally agree on the bigger issues like politics, spiritual views, world views, etc.  However, it's the little things that build up over time and irritate marriages.  

Our responsibility in marriage is to seek to understand each other.  A good marriage is composed of two people who grasp this principle. 

We have learned that principle of trying to understand rather than seeking to be understood.  I would say, that over the last years, that this principle was harder for me to incorporate into our marriage than it was for Karyn.  It probably took me at least 10 years of marriage before I truly was able to comprehend what Tournier meant in his book.  Twenty years ago, I would have jumped up from the couch, run into the bathroom, grabbed the toothbrush and brought it back with an air of superiority.  

After all, I know that I am right!

What was most interesting about this disagreement (look at the picture above) is that we were both correct!  That evening, as we were getting ready for bed, I remembered our disagreement from earlier and I looked at the toothbrush.  It said both Oral-B and Braun on it!  When I pointed that out it was hilarious!

It seems now, that most of our disagreements occur when we are both right.  However, now, we aren't so tied into being right but in understanding, even when we know (or think we know) each of us is correct.  

I'm writing this short blog today not to hold us up as some paragon of marital virtue but rather to share a simple principle:         
                         
                                                    It is better to understand than to be understood.

Just in case you're keeping track....  Yes, it was me that wanted to prove, in the end, that I was right.  

Yes, I was right! 
     and I was wrong...

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Can you be spiritual without being obnoxious?

1/24/2017

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Dear Red Shirt Guy in Front of Me at the Deli,

How are you, sir? I hope your meal was enjoyable this afternoon. Mine was great.

I couldn’t help but notice you had an . . . interesting . . . interaction with the woman behind the counter. After placing your order, your voice suddenly became audible, and you announced that you all were about to pray, and asked if there was anything you could pray for the clerk about. I was aware of this part of your conversation because suddenly you were speaking in a non-inside voice, maybe a bit like a public-speaking voice. I know this was not your normal tone or volume because I have no idea what you ordered, but I sure knew you were about to pray.

The girl behind the counter replied with, “I think I’m good. Thanks,” which I found to be generous and kind. See, I, too, am in the food service industry, and I, too, have been approached by religious people asking if they could pray for me. It’s an awkward thing, and not because I don’t want you to pray for me. It’s awkward because you don’t know me. Like, at all. You don’t know my religious preference, or if I would even want you to pray for me. You also don’t recognize that, when you ask your food service worker that, they’re in a tight spot – they’re supposed to make you happy. It’s their job. If they embarrass you, they could be fired. So, even if they would welcome the prayer, and even if you knew each other, it would still be awkward because there are a lot of other guests around that might be put-off about this suddenly-religious conversation that’s keeping them from ordering a sandwich or a salad.

Your follow-up, a reaching-over-the-counter handshake, which, again, she could not refuse, and the also-loud invitation to join you at your congregation furthered the awkwardness of the encounter. You quite obviously made the poor girl uncomfortable, and while your exchange lasted less than a minute, there was a rather lengthy line behind you. It wasn’t the time or the place, brother.

I know you mean well. Well, I hope you mean well. I hope your intention was just to do something nice for that woman. I hope it wasn’t to get other people to think you’re spiritual or anything. If you really wanted to do something nice for that woman, I think just asking her how she is and if she’s having a good day would do the job just as well. Nay, better.

All of this is just to say that, if you want to be spiritual, living it out is better than talking about it loudly. Kindness toward your food service worker would be an answer to a prayer, rather than an advertisement for one. Praying for your cashier in private would be, I don’t know, actually what you are supposed to do, rather than just making a spectacle.

I know I probably won’t change your mind, but I just want you to know that there are a lot of us who have heard a lot of people talk about being religious, and we’re ready to see a little less talk and a lot more action.

Sincerely,
Yellow Shirt Guy Behind You in the Deli



This post is taken from https://mundanespirituality.wordpress.com/2014/11/24/spiritual-but-not-obnoxious/


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The Spirit-filtered life

1/23/2017

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You, however, are not controlled by the sinful nature but are in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. … For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. (Romans 8:9, 14)

Said George: "You know we are on a wrong track altogether. We must not think of the things we could do with, but only of the things that we can't do without." -Three Men in a Boat: To say nothing of the Dog, by Jerome K. Jerome.

To understand Paul’s take on the Holy Spirit, we first need a lesson in filters. In your car, an air-intake system feeds the engine’s compressors. That system takes in both air and everything floating in it—pollen, bugs, dirt, everything. That’s why we need an air filter. It prevents all those fragments from clogging the engine.

What works for car engines works for spiritual engines, too. We also have an intake system, complete with filters that decide what we take in and what we filter out. For instance, if I believe in reincarnation, then my experience of the natural world will filter through that belief. Childhood wounds will filter adult conversations and relationships. Our filters determine what gets to our “engines.”

This is why Paul makes such a strong case for the Spirit-filtered life as he describes the marks of this life in Romans 8. This is the shape of a life controlled by (filtered by) the Spirit of God:

  1. We begin to think more of God than ourselves. It doesn’t happen overnight, but over time our worldview changes. We begin to see a bigger picture. We filter more and more of our decisions through God’s values and God’s desires. Our choices take on a less selfish, more Kingdom-minded quality.   
  2. We will still experience the limits of sin. That’s what makes the life-changing message of forgiveness just as important for a Spirit-filled person as it does for one who just got saved. Spirit-filtered people value the practices of confession and repentance because they keep our spiritual engines running smoothly. We take time daily to pray with Paul, “Lord, fill me with your Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18). Spirit-filled people are not perfectionists, but we energetically pursue the practice of perfect love—the ultimate mark of the Holy Spirit.  
  3. We experience life on God’s terms. I once heard a personal trainer tell her new client during their first work-out together, “You are now a person with a routine.” I like that. Spirit-filtered people are people with a spiritual routine. We experience life on God’s terms and our calendars and checkbooks are filtered through the pleasures of God.
  4. God will do the same thing in us that he did in Jesus. Jesus said we would receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on us (Acts 1:8), and that we’d do the things he did and more (John 14:12). Under the authority of the Holy Spirit, we have power to cast out demons, cure diseases, preach the gospel and heal the sick (Luke 9:1). Spirit-filtered people take that authority seriously.
  5. We are delivered from the dead life and into son/daughter status. Because he lives, we live. A Spirit-filtered person does not interpret his experiences through the lens of death and rejection but through life and acceptance. After all, Jesus didn’t come to make bad people good; he came to make dead people live.
  6. Our body will be as alive as Christ’s.  Everything we believe—our entire worldview as followers of Jesus – depends on the fact of Jesus being in the presence of God in the flesh on our behalf right now. Our flesh in heaven is a sure pledge that God is at peace with all who believe. And God’s Spirit in us is our assurance of His plan to give us access to all the powers of Heaven. We are as alive as Christ, right now, in the spiritual realm.

Where these marks are present in a follower of Jesus, life is different. We begin to see financial strain not as a roadblock but as a miracle in the making. Mistakes no longer define us because they have been filtered through forgiveness. Our stories of shame and guilt become a testament to grace. Brokenness becomes a pathway to peace. Death is a doorway to glory.

The Spirit-filtered life is characterized by an other-worldly perspective. This leaves us with a burning question: does my life reflect that perspective? What filters the things that flow into my spiritual engine? How do I interpret my experiences—as one bound by the spirits of this dark world, or as one led by the Spirit of God?

May you experience the pure joy and deep peace of a life filtered by the Holy Spirit.

This post is taken from Seedbed and is written by Carolyn Moore.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://seedbed.com/feed/marks-of-the-spirit-filtered-life

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Sunday Meditation

1/21/2017

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Faith is the Foundation of the Religious Life

Looking at the subject, therefore, in the light of the Scriptures, we feel abundantly justified in what has been said, viz.: that faith is the great foundation of the religious life.

But this is not all. If we will take the trouble carefully to analyze our religious feelings, and to trace them in their origin and their relations, we shall find this important truth, sustained by additional evidence from that source. If, for instance, we should undertake to enter into an examination of the nature and operations of the principle of LOVE, we could not fail to see, that it requires the antecedent existence of faith in the beloved object as the basis and the condition of its own existence. In other words, there cannot be love without faith going before. Take almost any other Christian grace, such as the spirit of submission, of gratitude, or of prayer, and it will be found that they sustain intimate relations with other states of the mind, particularly with faith; and that in reality they cannot possibly exist without faith. When they are closely examined, all the Christian graces, however divergent and remote they may now appear, will be found to converge to one centre, and to rest upon one foundation. A remark, which furnishes a reason for the remarkable and important saying of the Scriptures, that “without faith it is impossible to please God.”

We may add further, that what has been said is confirmed by individual experience; particularly the experience of eminent Christians. There may have been remarkable experiences without much faith; experiences characterized by visions and by strong emotions, and which have been the subjects of much attention and conversation; but there has not been, and there cannot be, a sound and thorough scriptural experience, one which will truly renovate the soul and will carry a person victoriously through the trials and labors of life, without strong faith as its basis. So that it can be truly said of all those eminent men in different countries and different ages of the world, who have done most and suffered most for the cause of true religion, like the worthies mentioned in the eleventh chapter of Hebrews, that they lived and died in faith. They had other eminent Christian graces, it is true, but it was strong faith, which gave a character to their lives and actions.

— edited from The Life of Faith (1852) Part 1, Chapter 5 by Thomas Cogswell Upham.  His blog is managed by Craig L Adams and can be found here:   
http://thomascupham.blogspot.com

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