When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick.

It is foundational to our healing for someone to see us with compassion. We do not see ourselves with compassion. Instead, we often see ourselves through harsh, condemning eyes. We have come to reject and shame ourselves for our need. In order to learn to heal from the inside out we need someone to see us differently than we see ourselves. We need someone to see us as we are and to respond to us with emotional warmth and genuine concern.

Jesus saw. And had compassion. And he healed. All three experiences are helpful in recovery.

God sees us. He sees that we struggle, that we need help, that we hurt. Our brokenness is not a surprise or a disappointment to God.

God has compassion on us. God feels with us. God is emotionally responsive to us. It matters to God that we are in need. It impacts God.

God heals. Having seen us and had compassion for us, God responds. God touches our wounds. God mends our broken hearts. God strengthens our weary spirits.

For those of us who have felt invisible, who have experienced shame and rejection and abuse, it is a wonderful thing to find someone who sees, has compassion and seeks to heal!

Lord, thank you that you see me. 
You see my pain. 
Thank you that it matters to you that I struggle and hurt. 
Thank you that it is in the context of personal attention and compassion that you heal me. 
I await your healing touch today. 

Amen

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

If I kicked you in the shin what would you do? This may seem like a silly question but the answer to this may help us understand how we react to pain. In general, it is safe to say that most humans have the same pattern of response to an assault that inflicts pain. The visual display may look different but the reaction has similar foundations. This same response can not only be seen with physical pain but also with the infliction of emotional distress.

As I have been reflecting about the concept of pain, 3 steps (obviously not the only steps) of pain response come to mind that manifest in different ways.

1. Expression of Pain (OUCH!)- When many experience an unwelcome trespass on their comfort, the natural urge is to make that infraction known. The reflex of expression shows the assailant that harm has been done and that, at the very least, restitution is deserved. Some try to mask this step by acting like everything is okay, but the bottled hurt manifests itself in other areas of life.

2. Anger- When a person comes to terms with the fact that there has been harm done to them, anger or indignation occurs. This anger causes the mind to think of ways justice can be served. “Lashing out” for retribution often occurs. This reaction could be passive, and the individual may seek justice but this justice may look more like “pity” or the infliction of guilt on the opponent.

3. Questioning the Event- When someone is “kicked in the shin”, as was started earlier; the final response may be to question why they were the one hurt. Often times, if the answer is not adequate to the one harmed a new pattern of pain commences. A new cycle has begun.

Why am I saying all of this? Well, we can see this same pattern in our spiritual lives. Many people have been dealing with deep pain for a very long time. Pain that is unresolved can feed a cycle that leads to deeper anger, bitterness, and even addictions. If we can’t understand why we are hurting, or even refuse to seek an answer (we have become comfortable in our suffering) then doubt, fear, anxiety, or unhealthy relationships have a natural breeding ground.

Seek to understand how you respond to pain.

God is not calling us to lead a pain free life, but to be a living example of what healing looks like.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  You can find the original post with comments here:  http://otherwordsdotnet.wordpress.com/2012/09/14/the-pattern-of-pain/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

While He was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, suddenly arrived. A large mob, with swords and clubs, was with him from the chief priests and elders of the people. His betrayer had given them a sign: “The One I kiss, He’s the One; arrest Him!”   So he went right up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.   “Friend,” Jesus asked him, “why have you come?” Then they came up, took hold of Jesus, and arrested Him.   At that moment one of those with Jesus reached out his hand and drew his sword. He struck the high priest’s slave and cut off his ear.  Then Jesus told him, “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up a sword will perish by a sword.   Or do you think that I cannot call on My Father, and He will provide Me at once with more than 12 legions of angels?  How, then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”

Watch TV and you’ll hear the Name of God the Father and God the Son mocked, used in vain, used to curse, and many other ways that deny the holiness, beauty, majesty, power, glory, and wonder of who He is.  Watch movies and listen to music and you’ll find the same things.  In fact, go out into the marketplace and you’ll hear these same abuses of the beautiful Name of our Savior.  And yet, short of boycotting some products or writing letters/emails or phoning TV stations or sending petitions, you’ll not really see any other visible demonstration of outrage from Christians.

And yet, throughout the world we see angry people causing all manner of evil due to the denigration of the name of their prophet.  What’s the difference?  Why don’t Christians burn down things when Jesus is mocked?  Just a few thoughts…

1. There is coming a day when Jesus will make all things right and all who were mockers of His Name will bow at His Name and confess He is Lord.  There is a sense in which I don’t have to defend the honor of Jesus’ Name…He’s quite capable of defending Himself, thank you.  And on that day when every tongue confesses that Jesus is Lord to the glory of God the Father, the mockers will be put to shame for eternity.  I might be angry for a day.  The wrath of God will be poured out for eternity.

2. When the Name of Jesus is mocked, every Christian should remember that s/he once mocked Jesus, too.  We were all by nature children of wrath fully deserving the full wrath of God.  And yet our God showed us mercy and grace through His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.  While fully responsible for actions, we were acting in ignorance according to our natures.  But when God said, “Let there be light” in our hearts, we saw for the first time the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.  We then saw our sin for what it was and the beauty of Christ for who He is and we repented and trusted in the finished work of Jesus to save us.  So, instead of burning things up when others mock Jesus, we show patience knowing the Savior was patient with us.

3. Which leads us to the work we should do now.  Instead of burning things up, we warn and plead with those who mock the Savior to repent of their sin and turn to Christ.  If we truly love Christ, we will love making much of Him to sinners knowing He came to save sinners.  Because we have been forgiven much, we will want others to know of the beauty of His grace poured out on sinners.  We will warn these mockers of the fire of hell which will never die out.  The work we do isn’t to defend the honor of His Name but to herald His Name as we seek reconciliation between God and man through the preaching of the gospel.

4.  All of this reminds us that Jesus is the living, resurrected Lord.  Jesus continues to be at work even today, right now.  The Holy Spirit works through us as we make much of Jesus who is risen from the dead.  We have a story to tell.  Jesus is coming again and will make all things right.  We don’t have to defend the honor of a dead man…He’s alive!

I pray that those who feel the need to defend the name and honor of a dead man will see the glory of the true and living Lord who has made a way of escape from the wrath of God through His death and resurrection.  Let us pray that their blinded eyes will be opened to the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life who is the only way to the true Father of all.

This post is from Mike Lee.  The original post can be found here:  http://mikelee1963.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/why-we-dont-burn-down-things-when-jesus-is-mocked/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

 I recently picked up a copy of Premarital Sex in America by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker and was pleasantly surprised at some of the insights. While I have been writing, teaching, and speaking for years to both teens and adults on the issue of premarital sex, this book opened my eyes to some of the more important trends emerging today.

This blog is adapted from the last chapter in the book entitled, “The Power of Stories and Ten Myths about Sex in Emerging Adulthood.” The empirical data suggests that these are true most of the time. There are exceptions, of course.

MYTH 1: Long-term relationships are a thing of the past

Many emerging adults (ages 18-23) tend to hold two views in tension—that sexual experimentation is valuable and yet one should not cheat on a monogamous partner. Indeed, many consider it stupid and unhealthy not to be sexually active in various relational settings. And yet most desire a lasting exclusive relationship. According to the research of Regnerus and Uecker, at least 50 percent of marriages last a lifetime, despite what most emerging adults tend to think.

MYTH 2: Sex is necessary to maintain a struggling relationship

The reality is that most relationships fail and the sooner one introduces sex into the relationship the greater chance it will fail.

MYTH 3: The sexual double standard between men and women is wrong and should be resisted

The authors of Premarital Sex in America argue that there are genuine differences in how men and women approach and experience sex that are deeply engrained. They conclude, “Unfortunately, many well-meaning adults and educators want so badly to dismantle the double standard that they work to normalize any and all consensual sexual relationships, rather than considering whether common experiences of sexual regret are in fact telling us something” (244).

MYTH 4: Boys are sexual beings and cannot be expected to follow sexual norms

This myth is both false and harmful. Young men can make wise sexual decisions if they are taught how to and the standard is set high.

MYTH 5: You are entirely in charge of your own sexuality; others’ decisions don’t matter

Despite the individualistic mindset that dominates how emerging adults think about sexuality our choices are deeply influenced by other people’s sexual decisions. The choices of other people affect us financially, emotionally, relationally, and in terms of our expectations of sexual behavior.

MYTH 6: Porn will not affect your relationships

I have written on this elsewhere, so I won’t go into detail. The reality is that porn use has a significant negative impact on relationships.

MYTH 7: Others are having more sex than you

Most emerging adults significantly overestimate how much sex is really going on around them. Most think that other people are having more sex than they actually are. As a result, emerging adults act on this false perception rather than reality.

MYTH 8: Sex doesn’t need to mean much

In reality sex is a very significant matter. There is nothing humans do that involves more of our minds, hearts, emotions, memories, self-image, and bodies. Sexual decisions stay with us for a lifetime.

MYTH 9: Marriage can wait for later

Despite common perceptions, the majority of emerging adults want to get married. But most want to wait awhile before doing so. The reality is that this is easier said than done. Life plans don’t always progress as young people envision.

MYTH 10: Living together is a positive step towards marriage

Between 50 and 70 percent of couples cohabit today. But only about 1 in 5 such relationships result in marriage. And the results are consistently pessimistic for those cohabiters who do marry (202).

I would highly recommend Premarital Sex in America for those who work with either emerging adults or younger students. It provides a deeply researched and balanced insight into the sexual lives of 18-23 year-olds.

This post was written by Sean McDowell.  You can find the original post here:  
http://www.conversantlife.com/relationships/ten-myths-about-premarital-sex

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Pornography is tearing apart the fabric of our society. You may think this is an overstatement. After reading,“The Social Costs of Pornography” by the Witherspoon Institute, I think it may be an understatement.

In 2008, the Witherspoon Institute sponsored the first multidisciplinary exploration of the social costs of pornography. Scholars from various fields including philosophy, psychology, and medicine were included in the forum. Every major shade of religious belief was represented, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, agnosticism, and atheism. And both the left and right in American politics were present. They all agreed that there is a substantial multidimensional, empirical record of the harms pornography brings to society. Obviously, such agreement is rare.

Today’s pornography is different from any in the past in three ways. (1) Accessibility.  The Internet has made porn ubiquitous. (2) Quality. Today’s porn is much more hardcore. (3) Consumption. Porn consumption has increased radically with the advent of the Internet. 69% of men and 10% of women report viewing pornography more than once a month. 87% of men admit using it in the past year. The researchers conclude, “In sum, there is evidence that more people—children, adolescents, and adults—are consuming pornography—sporadically, inadvertently, or chronically—than every before” (15).

How does pornography actually harm people? The researchers list a plethora of ways. Each of these points is supported with empirical evidence in the report. Keep in mind that these are objective facts about pornographic consumption, not my subjective opinions.

·      Those who view pornography overestimate how frequently certain sexual acts are actually practiced, which increases one’s willingness to do unconscionable things (18).

·      Porn viewers physically map their brains based on the images they see. Pornographic consumption re-maps the physical structure of the brain (19).

·      Many men who view porn lose the ability to relate to or be close to women (20).

·      Porn viewers become de-sensitized to the barrage of imagery, and as a result, child pornography and violent pornographic images often lose their ability to shock and disgust (20).

·      Women often report distress and harm when discovering that their husbands view porn. They typically feel betrayal, loss, mistrust, devastation, and anger as a result of their partner’s behavior.

·      Porn users have an increased likelihood of divorce and family break-up (23-24).

·      Those who had an extramarital affair were three times more likely to have used Internet pornography than those who had not.

·      Porn leads men to place less value on marital fidelity and more value on casual sex (24).

·      Therapists report seeing fourteen- and fifteen-year-old boys addicted to porn (29).

·      An Italian study reported that boys who view porn were more likely to report having sexually harassed a peer or having forced someone to have sex (30).

·      Adolescent girls who report using pornography are more likely to report being victims of passive violence such as sexual harassment and rape (31).

·      Today’s consumption of pornography encourages sexual exploitation such as trafficking (33).

·      Adolescents who view pornography are more likely to view women as sexual objects (35).

·      Porn consumption raises the risk of sexually risky behavior (35).

·      Men who use pornography are less attractive to potential female partners (37).

·      Exposure to pornography decreases sexual satisfaction with one’s partner for both men and women (38).

·      Chronic pornography use is associated with depression and unhappiness (38).

·      Users often report disgust and shame at finding themselves stimulated by images that would have once repulsed (39).

What do we do? For starters, can you help spread the word about the dangers of pornography? Please consider getting a copy of the report, “The Social Costs of Pornography,” and study it. Talk to your friends about it. Share it with your family and church. Blog about it. Or forward this blog to as many people as you can. There needs to be a renewed conversation about how pornography is damaging this generation. We can no longer ignore the most dangerous health hazard to this generation. Our kids deserve better.

This post was written by Sean McDowell.  The original post can be found here:  http://www.conversantlife.com/morality/the-social-costs-of-pornography

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

We love because He first loved us.

This picture is of my pastor and his son on vacation.   I'm grateful to have a pastor who preaches God's Word with conviction and honesty.  His messages of holiness are right on target.  

This picture reminds me of events I did with my own children.  One of the greatest things of being a father is having the opportunity to provide for your children.  Another is to watch them enjoy what you provide.  And another is watching them discover things/ideas/events for the first time.  

I will always cherish the times when, we as a family, took trips together.  We have taken trips outside the United States and countless trips around the United States.  It was terrific experiencing different cultures, people and places together.  

We were fortunate enough to be able to home school our boys and watch them learn.  It was great to see the light come on and observe them understanding concepts that were new for them.    

I cried with joy at the birth of my sons.

I enjoyed holding them and watching them sleep.  

I love being a father.

There were also times of disappointment and sadness that are a natural part of living in a fallen world.  

Why this post?

Children teach us so much about our relationship with God.  Karyn and I loved each other so much that we wanted to share that love with someone, so having children is a natural outgrowth of our love for each other.

That's why God created us.  He is in perfect union within Himself and wanted to invite us into this union.  He wanted to share His love with us.

God rejoices when we are born and again when we are reborn.

God, the Perfect Father, enjoys watching us discover things.  He likes watching us enjoy what He has provided.   He enjoys teaching us and watching us learn.  He enjoys watching us while we sleep.  

God takes delight in us.

These things that God does for me didn't have as much meaning until I became a father.  Then, God took on another whole dimension.  Having children expanded my love for and  appreciation and understanding of God.

I think that was God's intention.  I think that was why He created family.   Being a child and being a parent offer a greater understanding of our Heavenly Father.  

He also created family to take in those who don't have family into our families and into God's kingdom. Let's not forget those who are orphaned/abandoned/widowed/feel left out.

God loves us.
God wants us to love.
God wants us to love Him.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Do all that you can to live at peace with everyone.  

We have settled into our new home.  Having terrific neighbors at our last home, I think that we are a little spoiled.  

Now we have a new house, new neighborhood and a new neighbors.  That means making new friends and experiencing life differently.

But, I have a confession.  

This post is written selfishly. 

 We need your prayers.  

I don't know what to do about our neighbors on one side.  

They have an automatic sprinkler system.  The sprinkler keeps our side yard wet, making it hard to catch a dry time to mow.  Also, one sprinkler hits one of our windows, causing it to be water spotted and needing to be cleaned often.  

Karyn asked them (very nicely)  to contact their sprinkler guy and have the one sprinkler adjusted.  The next day, the neighbor returned our house key (we had previously asked them to hold a key for us in an emergency).  I could be reading that behavior all wrong but it appeared that they didn't appreciate us asking them to adjust the sprinkler and expressed that by returning our house key.    We want to be good ambassadors for Christ and don't want to come across as nit picky but we just got tired of looking thru a water  spotted window.

What do we do?

I am reminded of a story in the book, Sit Walk Stand by Watchman Nee:

 "A brother in South China had a rice field in the middle of the hill.  In time of drought he used a water-wheel, worked by a tread-mill, to lift water from the irrigation stream into his field.  His neighbor had two fields before his, and, one night, make a breach in the dividing bank and drained all his water.  When the brother repaired the breach and pumped in more water his neighbor did the same thing again, and this was repeated three or four more times.  So he consulted his brethren. 'I have tried to be patient and not retaliate,' he said, 'but is it right?'  After they had prayed together about it, one of them replied, 'If we only try to do the right thing, surely we are very poor Christians.  We have to do something more than what is right.'  The brother was much impressed.  Next morning he pumped water for the two fields below, and in the afternoon pumped water for his own field.  After that the water stayed in his own field.  His neighbor was so amazed as the action that he began to inquire the reason and in course of time he too became a Christian."  

I think about that story because it involves water and there is a principle there that applies to our situation.  

Is it right to ask for a wrong to be righted?  

What behavior honors Christ and our neighbors?  

Our current plan is to continue to be nice to them and continue to strike up conversations when we are outside.  Also, we will continue to pray how to resolve this situation.

I know that there are plenty of world issues that are much bigger than this small little issue but we want to represent Christ well.  

So, when you read this today, would you take a few moments to pray for us?  

Ask that God would work so that our neighbors see Jesus in this situation.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered. "Bring them here to me," he said.

Sometimes after reading the newspaper or watching the news on television we experience an intensely painful awareness of the enormity of the world's problems and the hopeless inadequacy of the resources available to solve these problems. During recovery we often experience these same feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. Our personal problems seem enormous. Our resources seem incredibly limited. Part of our denial comes from our desire to avoid recognizing that our personal problems are bigger than our personal resources. We will need resources more extensive than our own to make any progress in recovery.

Fortunately, God has a long and consistent history of working with people who have limited resources. It has been God's consistent pattern throughout the biblical record. God's preference is to bring strength out of weakness. The abundance which God brings from a few loaves and fishes is a clear sign of the surprising resource-full-ness of God. God does not seem to be at home among the well-nourished, the resourced, the un-needy. In a reversal of all of our expectations, God comes to the needy and limited with invitations to participate in the Kingdom.

When we see how few loaves and fishes we have, we become convinced that our needs for nourishment will not be met. And we conclude that there will be nothing left over to share. But the hopelessly limited resources somehow turn into abundance when offered to God. There is enough for us and enough to share. Each day, one day at a time, God accepts our limited resources and surprises us with what can be done.

I am hungry, Lord.
I have not been getting the nourishment I need.
What I have is so limited.
A few loaves. 
A few fish.
There will not be enough to go around.

I cannot imagine what use they will be
but I make my limited resources available to you.
Accept my limited resources, Lord.
I bring them to you for your blessing.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 

Sometimes it takes me a little longer than usual to go to sleep. My mind is kept awake by the rehearsing of my schedule for the next day, different concerns regarding the previous day, and whether or not I will be able to sleep because of these thoughts presently. The fact is worry, concern, or anxiety is hard to get away from. I can take a vacation, but often it takes me half of the time period to clear my mind and focus on the present relaxation. No matter how relaxed we seem to be, we may always have some degree of concern for the future. This is a part of our culture. Some people justify this concern by saying that they are wanting to prepare for a number of different scenerios. Others would say that it is a result of using our time wisely. Sure, preparation for everyday tasks and appointments is extremely important, but the moment it grows to anxiety is a symptom of something greater. Wouldn’t it be great if our lives were not controlled by fear? The “what if” that floats around our heads regularly….

The Bible tells us that this dream can actually become a reality. We can actually place our burdens upon the shoulders of Jesus. Often this makes us uncomfortable, because we think that He may be too busy. Truth be told…I have thought that at times. 


Then I think about God’s character. 


He is all knowing, all loving, all powerful… The one who created the universe can surely bear my burdens.

Ultimately, no amount of information gathering (or worrying) in the present can fully prepare us for what is to come. We can be assured, however, that Jesus is already waiting for us at the intersection of now and tomorrow. Only He can give us true peace in knowing that He has everything under control.

No Jesus no peace….Know Jesus know peace.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  You can find the original post with comments here:  
http://otherwordsdotnet.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/manufacturing-fear/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Porn is a problem. It's a personal problem for many and a cultural problem for all. You may think you have not been affected by porn, but you have because it's embedded in the surrounding culture. The staggering size of the pornography industry, its influence upon the media and the acceleration of technology, paired with the accessibility, anonymity, and affordability of porn all contribute to its increasing impact upon the culture.

Pornography affects you whether you’ve ever viewed it or not, and it is helpful to understand some of its negative effects, whether you are a man or woman, struggling with watching it, or simply a mom or dad with a son or daughter. There is a plethora of research on the detrimental effects of pornography (and I do not think that what follows are necessarily the worst of them), but here are seven negative effects of porn upon men and women:

1. PORN CONTRIBUTES TO SOCIAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS WITHIN MEN 

Anti-pornography activist, Gail Dines, notes that young men who become addicted to porn, “neglect their schoolwork, spend huge amounts of money they don’t have, become isolated from others, and often suffer depression.” (Pornland, 93). Dr. William Struthers, who has a PhD in biopsychology from the University of Illinois at Chicago, confirms some of these and adds more, finding that men who use porn become controlling, highly introverted, have high anxiety, narcissistic, curious, have low self-esteem, depressed, dissociative, distractible (Wired for Intimacy, 64-65). Ironically, while viewing porn creates momentary intensely pleasurable experiences, it ends up leading to several negative lingering psychological experiences.

2. PORN REWIRES THE MALE BRAIN 

Struthers elaborates,  As men fall deeper into the mental habit of fixating on [pornographic images], the exposure to them creates neural pathways. Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with woman are routed….They have unknowingly created a neurological circuit that imprisons their ability to see women rightly as created in God’s image (Wired For Intimacy, 85).
In a similar vein regarding porn’s effect upon the brain, Naomi Wolf writes in her article, "The Porn Myth,"

After all, pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers imaginable. If you associate orgasm with your wife, a kiss, a scent, a body, that is what, over time, will turn you on; if you open your focus to an endless stream of ever-more-transgressive images of cybersex slaves, that is what it will take to turn you on. The ubiquity of sexual images does not free eros but dilutes it. 

3. PORN TURNS SEX INTO MASTURBATION 

Sex becomes self-serving. It becomes about your pleasure and not the self-giving, mutually reciprocating intimacy that it was designed for.

4. PORN DEMEANS AND OBJECTIFIES WOMEN 

This occurs from hard-core to soft-core pornography. Pamela Paul, in her book Pornified, quoting the research of one psychologist who has researched pornography at Texas A&M, writes,

‘Softcore pornography has a very negative effect on men as well. The problem with softcore pornography is that it’s voyeurism teaches men to view women as objects rather than to be in relationships with women as human beings.’ According to Brooks, pornography gives men the false impression that sex and pleasure are entirely divorced from relationships. In other words, pornography is inherently self-centered–something a man does by himself, for himself–by using another women as the means to pleasure, as yet another product to consume (80).

Paul references one experiment that revealed a rather shocking further effect of porn: “men and women who were exposed to large amounts of pornography were significantly less likely to want daughters than those who had none. Who would want their own little girl to be treated that way?” (80).

Again, it needs to be emphasized, that this is not an effect that only rests upon those who have viewed porn. The massive consumption of porn and the the size of the porn industry has hypersexualized the entire culture. Men and women are born into a pornified culture, and women are the biggest losers. Dines continues,

By inundating girls and women with the message that their most worthy attribute is their sexual hotness and crowding out other messages, pop culture is grooming them just like an individual perpetrator would. It is slowly chipping away at their self-esteem, stripping them of a sense of themselves as whole human beings, and providing them with an identity that emphasizes sex and de-emphasizes every other human attribute (Pornland, 118).

5. PORN SQUASHES THE BEAUTY OF A REAL NAKED WOMAN 

Wolf, in her own blunt way, confirms this,

For most of human history, the erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn (Quoted in Wired for Intimacy, 38).

6. PORN HAS A NUMBING EFFECT UPON REALITY

It makes real sex and even the real world boring in comparison. It particularly anesthetizes the emotional life of a man. Paul comments,

Pornography leaves men desensitivzed to both outrage and to excitement, leading to an overall diminishment of feeling and eventually to dissatisfaction with the emotional tugs of everyday life…Eventually they are left with a confusing mix of supersized expectations about sex and numbed emotions about women…When a man gets bored with pornography, both his fantasy and real worlds become imbued with indifference. The real world often gets really boring…” (Pornified, 90, 91).

7. PORN LIES ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE MALE AND FEMALE 

Dines records how porn tells a false story about men and women. In the story of porn, women are “one-dimensional”–they never say no, never get pregnant, and can’t wait to have sex with any man and please them in whatever way imaginable (or even unimaginable). On the other hand, the story porn tells about men is that they are “soulless, unfeeling, amoral life-support systems for erect penises who are entitled to use women in any way they want. These men demonstrated zero empathy, respect, or love for the women they have sex with…(Pornland, xxiv).”

This content originally appeared on theResurgence.com. Resurgence exists to train people to love and worship Jesus in all of life. Visit theResurgence.com for more gospel-centered resources.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.