"How do I know when it's God talking to me or the devil?"  

             This is a question that I get quite a bit in my correspondence and
                                   conversations with people.






I have met different people who discern God's will or God's voice in curious ways:

• One person told me that the plant on his microwave will blow in a certain direction that tells him the next thing he thinks/hears is God talking to him.
  
• Another person told me that when he spends time in prayer, he has the window open.  If the curtains blow out, the answer from God is yes.  If the curtains suck into the window, the answer from God is no.  
• Yet, another person told me that when he prays, he stands as still and as upright as he can and while he's praying about a decision, if he leans to the right, the answer is no.  If he leans to the right, the answer is yes.  
• I have also had people (who were not psychotic) tell me that God tells them answers thru the people talking on the television.
• Another individual told me that he looks for signs.  For example, he was contemplating whether to take a job in Wyoming and he saw someone wearing a Wyoming shirt shortly after praying.  He wondered if that was God leading.

Jesus had a little something to say about this.  He says that wicked and adulterous people are always looking for a sign.  It seems to me that much of what Christians call discerning God's voice amounts to not much more than folk religion.  Folk religion is unreflective religious beliefs based largely upon feeings, cliches, devotional literature and "evangelegends."

Folk religion is not God honoring.  In my discussions with those five people above, I can assure you that they came up with some pretty goofy ideas about what God was saying.  God is clear, He says if anyone lacks wisdom, we just need to ask Him.  As Christians, we now have the indwelling of God's Holy Spirit.  We no longer need to consult the urim and thummim.  Nor do we need to cast lots to make decisions.  

However, if you read my post yesterday, I wrote about how the devil tries to remind of our sins and failures.  

How, do we know when its the devil is giving us a hard time or God's Holy Spirit convicting us of something that needs to change?

The answer is simple.  The devil hates you.  God loves you.  Once you get that concept firmly in your mind, discerning which voice is which becomes less problematic.  

Now, I'm not saying that we have the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  I'm not wanting this to be caricatured.  
My experience is often it is not the devil speaking to me but it is my own sinfulness getting in the way.  
My own sin nature speaks to me.  

Nevertheless, if you hear a thought that says, "you know, you really are a pathetic excuse for a Christian.  You are such a hypocrite, you are so selfish."  Does that sound like a hateful thought or a loving thought?  I can tell you that thought either came from your own sinfulness or the devil (or maybe even both).  Do you see what that thought does?  It cuts you down at the very core of your being it attacks you as a child of God.  It's like being blasted with a shotgun.

Now, let's say you hear a thought that says, "you know, you just spoke about how you didn't like that style of worship.  Did you consider that worship can take many forms?  You need to apologize for what you just said."  Does that sound like a hateful thought or a loving thought?  Do you see what that thought does?  It is clear and concise.  It doesn't attack you as a child of God.  It's like a single bullet shot right into your pride.  

So, are you seeing the difference?  When you have a thought and it feels like you have been blasted with a shotgun, that the thought was so diffuse, you can bet that it's not from God...

God's Holy Spirit is a sniper.  He shoots clean and hits his target.  There is no collateral damage.  

When the devil speaks, its to entice you away from God.  To destroy how you view yourself before God.  

When God speaks to you, it's to attract you to Him. 

Paul's words ring true when discerning the voice of God, "Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

“Now on the twenty-fourth day of this month the children of Israel were assembled with fasting, in sackcloth, and with dust on their heads.” Nehemiah 9:1 (NKJV)

There are a couple of things we need to understand about this verse. The first is that their sorrow for sin is in connection with hearing the Law. In Nehemiah 8 the Law was read and explained to them. As the Law was preached they were made aware of their transgressions of God’s Law and this brought a deep conviction upon them. Conviction of sin is almost always connected to hearing God’s Word.

The second thing we have to notice is their response to this conviction. They assembled while fasting and wearing sackcloth and dust on their heads. This was all a sign of great mourning for their sin. When you read the Scriptures, particularly the Old Testament you find that the people fasted when they were mourning over sin. I’m not 100% sure of the significance of fasting when accompanying mourning unless it was to show that they were so distraught over their sin that they couldn’t even eat. The significance of the sackcloth and ashes was that of humiliation. They were showing outwardly what was going on inwardly. Inwardly they were so grieved over their sin against God that they were humiliated by it. So they demonstrated their grief and humiliation by wearing a burlap sack and putting dirt on their heads.

Biblical repentance always includes a godly sorrow for the sins committed.

“Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.” (2 Corinthians 7:9-10 NKJV)

One of the things that’s important to take away from this passage is not all sorrow is a godly sorrow. The Bible says that there is a godly sorrow for sin that leads to repentance and salvation. There is also a worldly sorrow for sin that leads to death. We have to know the difference so that we can ensure that the sorrow we feel at our sin is the godly sorrow that leads to repentance and salvation.

Let me take a minute and explain what godly sorrow is not. Godly sorrow is not being sorry you were caught. If the only sorrow produced in your life when you sin is a result of someone finding out about your sins, you are not genuinely sorry for your sins. You are sorry you got caught in your sins.

Godly sorrow is not being afraid God is going to punish you for your sins. If the only sorrow produced in your life when you sin comes because you are afraid that God is going to break your leg, burn down your house, do something to your children or do something else to punish you, you are not genuinely sorry for your sin. You fear God’s punishment. To fear God’s punishment and to be sorry for sin is not the same thing.

To be sorry you were caught or be sorry because you are afraid of God’s punishment are examples of worldly sorrow that leads to death. The reason they lead to death is because they do not really turn us to God and they do not produce a change in our lives. When someone is sorry they were caught they are only sorry and only pretend to change while the shame of being caught remains. Once the shame is over the change goes out the window and they go back to doing what they were doing only this time they are more careful.

When someone is sorry because they are afraid of God’s punishment they are only sorry and only pretend to change while the fear of punishment remains. Once the fear of punishment is gone the change goes out the window and they go back to doing what they were doing before.

Godly sorrow is very different from this. With godly sorrow we feel grief or sorrow for the sin committed whether anyone finds out or not. With godly sorrow we feel grief or sorrow for the sin committed whether God chastises us for that sin or not. Basically it means that you are sorry you committed the sin regardless of any other circumstances. It is to be sorry you have sinned against God.

In the world we live in one of the greatest crimes you can commit against humanity is to make someone feel bad about themselves. We live in a world where people feel they are entitled to always feel good. On the other hand the Bible teaches that if we sin against God, we won’t always feel good about ourselves because Biblical repentance always involves a godly sorrow for the sins we’ve committed against God.


This post was written by Rev Ross.  You can find the original post at:  http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2012/11/09/sorrow-for-sin/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

During the First Great Awakening Jonathan Edwards preached his famous message Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God.  Reports from this time say that Edwards wasn’t an eloquent speaker. Instead of walking around and preaching with dramatic flair, Edwards looked down at his manuscript and read this sermon in a flat and monotone voice. The reports from this time also say that as Edward preached men and women would hold on to the posts of the church for fear of dropping into hell. Others would stop of their ears and run screaming out of the church. Undeterred Edwards kept preaching. Edwards ended his sermon with this appeal, “Therefore let everyone that is out of Christ, now awake and fly from the wrath to come.”

Flee they did. Many fell on the ground and cried out for Christ to save them. While there is no official number of salvations during this time most estimates put the number in the thousands. From what I’ve read few of these were the flash in the pan decisions that don’t last once the emotional fervor wears off. Instead most of those who were saved during the Great Awakening lived faithful Godly lives the rest of their days.

For someone who has never seen men or women respond to conviction as it is described about the Great Awakening I can easily find myself saying, “Ah I bet that’s not quite how it happened.” The truth is though; there are Biblical examples of people responding in very similar ways. At the end of Peter’s sermon on the day of Pentecost the Bible says the people were cut to the heart and asked, “…what shall we do?” (Acts 2:37) The picture of being cut to the heart is very similar to what we hear about from the Great Awakening.

The question this leaves me with is why? Why don’t we see this sort response to conviction in our day? I’m convinced that one of the main reasons for this is that our culture has a low view of repentance. To many in our world repentance is simply asking God to forgive us for our sins, without any real plans to making the necessary changes in our lives that will prevent us from falling into that sin again. We are like a guy I saw in a movie once. He said something like, “I like to sin. God likes to forgive sin. It’s a very good arrangement.”

Biblical repentance isn’t just asking God to forgive us for our sins. Let’s be honest, we can ask for forgiveness and still remain unchanged. In Scripture we see several examples of people who confessed, “I have sinned” and yet this really didn’t mean a thing to them. Let me remind you of a couple of these.

In the book of Exodus, Pharaoh was overwhelmed with the plagues that came upon him because of his hardened and sinful heart, and he cried out and said, “I have sinned” (Exodus 9:7 and 10:16).  But he didn’t really mean it because he never let the people go. In the book of Numbers, the heretical prophet Balaam said, “I have sinned” (Numbers 22:34), but his repentance wasn’t sincere because he still tried to help Balak cause the destruction of the Israelites.

In the book of Joshua, Achan said, “I have sinned” (Joshua 7:20), but it was too late; he said it only because he was caught and it did not represent heartfelt repentance. In the book of 1 Samuel, King Saul said, “I have sinned,” (1 Samuel 15:24), but it did not come from a humble heart.  He was still speaking in defiance and pride. In the book of Matthew, Judas said, “I have sinned for I have betrayed innocent blood” (Matthew 27:4), but he didn’t really repent. Instead he went out and killed himself.

My favorite definition of repentance is that repentance is a change of mind about God and sin that results in a change of life. Biblical repentance always brings about change in our lives. Repentance involves total change in the direction of our lives. We turn from our sin and we turn to God with the intention of forsaking the sin and serving God. This will obviously require more from us than shedding a couple of tears and asking God to forgive us. It will require a total change in our outlook, our expectations and our commitments.

When you read the Bible and see the messages of John the Baptist, Jesus and Paul you don’t find a shallow view of repentance. Jesus called on repentant people to deny themselves, take of their cross and follow Him. John the Baptist and Paul both called on people to repent of their sins, believe the Gospel and then do works that demonstrated their repentance.

Another way we see this shallow view of repentance is in the way that it’s almost seen as optional by many in our day. In fact there is a whole movement of people who teach that repentance is not necessary at all at any time in your life. I personally find this attitude fascinating considering that in Luke 13 Jesus says “Lest you repent you will likewise perish.” Jesus didn’t get the memo that people didn’t have to repent and so He went around and commanded people to repent. Not to mention that in Acts 17 we are told that God commands all men everywhere to repent (Acts 17:30).

This may lead us to wonder what Biblical repentance looks like. That’s what I’m going to talk about tomorrow.

This post was written by Rev Ross.  For the original post, go to:  http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2012/11/08/repentance/


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Dreams are odd.  In dreams we can fly, shape shift, transmogrify, meet people that we admire and also be turned on sexually.   There is also a psychological technique called "lucid dreaming" where one learns the techniques to manipulate dreams.

Men, when they are teens, experience "wet dreams" that are usually intensely sexual.  So, men have a history from early in their lives of connecting dreams to sexual arousal.  Many of the men that I counsel tell me that their dreams often trigger their sexual acting out.  

How does one handle sexual dreams?  Often they are not under our conscious control.  So, are we responsible for our dreams?  Are we responsible for our acting out sexually when aroused by a dream?  How does one stay pure, even while sleeping?

You are VERY responsible if you practice lucid dreaming.  If you purposely manipulate your dreams, then you will be accountable for such.  

However, there are things that one can do to try and keep one's dreams from turning too sexual:

1.  Pay attention to what you think about while you are falling asleep.  
2.  Memorize scripture that you can repeat in your mind while falling asleep.  Philippians 4:8 is a scripture that is made for just such an occasion.  Proverbs 4:23 and Malachi 2:15  are excellent as well.
3.  Pray while you are falling asleep.  This is a great time to talk to God.
4.  In your prayer, ask God to protect your mind while you sleep.  God can do that, if you learn to count on His faithfulness.
5.  Pay attention to what you watch on TV, in the theatre and on the internet, especially right before you go to sleep.  You may have to take the TV out of your bedroom.  Dreams often are an amalgamation of our daily experiences. 
6.  If you work with a professional counselor, you can dissect your dreams to help understand them a little bit.  Even though a dream may be sexual, the core of the dream may also be something that y0u need to confront in yourself.

If you wake up sexually aroused from a dream, what can you do to prevent acting out?

1.  Urinate.  Many times an erection is simply the result of a full bladder.
2.  Read something non-sexual.  Opening God's Word and talking to God about what you are physically feeling is way of strengthening your relationship with HIm and beating temptation.
3.  Call a member of your accountability group.
4.  Take a cold shower.
5.  Stay away from TV and the Internet while you are aroused.
6.  Do not recreate the dream in your mind.  Distract yourself by thinking in a pure manner.

So, even though your dreams are often not under your conscious control, you can control what you watch and think throughout the day.  God is faithful.  If you ask Him for His assistance in this area, He will help.  Also, arousal does not mean that you have to do something sexual.  You can choose to act out or you can choose not to act out.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Nobody likes to be lectured.

The pointing fingers.

The condescending tones.

The questioning of motives.



The bombardment of facts and statistics.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Even if I’m 100% wrong and I know it, being lectured makes me feel powerless and stupid. And in all honesty, it triggers my desire to rebel not to conform. To roll my eyes. To do the opposite, or to disengage and do nothing at all. A good ol’ fashioned lecture never made me want to change anything about myself. In fact, it usually makes me want to dig in my heels and grab back the position of power. To fight lecture with a good lecture of my own!

Is it just me, or do we seem to have become a society of lecturers? Nothing made that more clear to me than this little chicken controversy that’s been floating around for the past few weeks.Maybe you heard about it?

• We lectured Chick-Fil-A on their gay-marriage position with pickets, insults, and even government threats.
• We lectured those who lectured Chick-Fil-A with pithy facts about how they treat same-sex couples in other countries.
• We lectured those who lectured the original lecturers of Chick-Fil-A with jabs about how Christians will line up to eat chicken but never serve at a homeless shelter.

(And now I guess it could be argued that I’m lecturing them all).

Social media was alive with quotes, stats, and funny little insults that either caused you to erupt with smug laughter and a massive re-posting campaign, or boiled your blood in leftover waffle fry grease sending you to the cloud for a stellar comeback.

Here’s my concern. We might be able to force others to bend to our ways, our perspectives, or our lifestyle. But unless there is a change of heart, it’s all just a byproduct of persuasion or power.True transformation is never triggered by insult, condescension, mockery, or stellar debate techniques. What if there was another way?

It seems to me Jesus engaged in conversation not condemnation, all without muddling the definition of truth. He is the truth (John 14:6).

What if we asked more questions instead of making imperative demands? What if we learned stories instead of categorizing people into issues? What if we stopped lecturing and started listening?

The Bible gives us rules, commands, and standards by which to live, with the full knowledge we are completely incapable of keeping them. That’s why Jesus came. Not to lecture us into alignment with His Kingdom, but to do in us what we cannot do for ourselves. To change our hearts from the inside out, not just bend our perspectives on important issues like chicken-gate.

“God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.” -John 3:17 MSG

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.” -Ephesians 3:20-21 MSG

This post was written by Rev. Cooper.  You can find the original post here:  http://beyondtherisk.com/2012/08/08/dont-you-just-love-to-be-lectured/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

You, however, are not controlled by the sinful nature but are in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. … For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. (Romans 8:9, 14)

Said George: "You know we are on a wrong track altogether. We must not think of the things we could do with, but only of the things that we can't do without." -Three Men in a Boat: To say nothing of the Dog, by Jerome K. Jerome.

To understand Paul’s take on the Holy Spirit, we first need a lesson in filters. In your car, an air-intake system feeds the engine’s compressors. That system takes in both air and everything floating in it—pollen, bugs, dirt, everything. That’s why we need an air filter. It prevents all those fragments from clogging the engine.

What works for car engines works for spiritual engines, too. We also have an intake system, complete with filters that decide what we take in and what we filter out. For instance, if I believe in reincarnation, then my experience of the natural world will filter through that belief. Childhood wounds will filter adult conversations and relationships. Our filters determine what gets to our “engines.”

This is why Paul makes such a strong case for the Spirit-filtered life as he describes the marks of this life in Romans 8. This is the shape of a life controlled by (filtered by) the Spirit of God:

1. We begin to think more of God than ourselves. It doesn’t happen overnight, but over time our worldview changes. We begin to see a bigger picture. We filter more and more of our decisions through God’s values and God’s desires. Our choices take on a less selfish, more Kingdom-minded quality.   
2. We will still experience the limits of sin. That’s what makes the life-changing message of forgiveness just as important for a Spirit-filled person as it does for one who just got saved. Spirit-filtered people value the practices of confession and repentance because they keep our spiritual engines running smoothly. We take time daily to pray with Paul, “Lord, fill me with your Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18). Spirit-filled people are not perfectionists, but we energetically pursue the practice of perfect love—the ultimate mark of the Holy Spirit.  
3. We experience life on God’s terms. I once heard a personal trainer tell her new client during their first work-out together, “You are now a person with a routine.” I like that. Spirit-filtered people are people with a spiritual routine. We experience life on God’s terms and our calendars and checkbooks are filtered through the pleasures of God.
4. God will do the same thing in us that he did in Jesus. Jesus said we would receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on us (Acts 1:8), and that we’d do the things he did and more (John 14:12). Under the authority of the Holy Spirit, we have power to cast out demons, cure diseases, preach the gospel and heal the sick (Luke 9:1). Spirit-filtered people take that authority seriously.
5. We are delivered from the dead life and into son/daughter status. Because he lives, we live. A Spirit-filtered person does not interpret his experiences through the lens of death and rejection but through life and acceptance. After all, Jesus didn’t come to make bad people good; he came to make dead people live.
6. Our body will be as alive as Christ’s.  Everything we believe—our entire worldview as followers of Jesus – depends on the fact of Jesus being in the presence of God in the flesh on our behalf right now. Our flesh in heaven is a sure pledge that God is at peace with all who believe. And God’s Spirit in us is our assurance of His plan to give us access to all the powers of Heaven. We are as alive as Christ, right now, in the spiritual realm.

Where these marks are present in a follower of Jesus, life is different. We begin to see financial strain not as a roadblock but as a miracle in the making. Mistakes no longer define us because they have been filtered through forgiveness. Our stories of shame and guilt become a testament to grace. Brokenness becomes a pathway to peace. Death is a doorway to glory.

The Spirit-filtered life is characterized by an other-worldly perspective. This leaves us with a burning question: does my life reflect that perspective? What filters the things that flow into my spiritual engine? How do I interpret my experiences—as one bound by the spirits of this dark world, or as one led by the Spirit of God?

May you experience the pure joy and deep peace of a life filtered by the Holy Spirit.

This post is taken from Seedbed and is written by Carolyn Moore.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://seedbed.com/feed/marks-of-the-spirit-filtered-life

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

God can never be put into a box.  When you think that a story is over or God has done all He can do in a situation, He reminds you that He has plans for us that we could never think, dream or even imagine.

If you remember from the previous two posts, there was a pastor and cattleman.  The pastor lived a godly life.  The cattleman lived life like Esau:  desiring to be the best, be the manliest, having the most and grabbing all you can from life because "you only go around once."  He lived a life of sensuality.  The cattleman wasn't a bad man, he just slightly missed the mark. 

God was working in the cattleman's sons' lives.  One of the cattleman's sons finally came to himself.  He had experienced heartache and sadness from his father, his siblings, his wives and his children.  All of these heart wrenching experiences finally brought him to the point where he realized that the way he experiences life leads to moral, financial and spiritual bankruptcy.  

This man became what God desired of him.  He found comfort in being with the family of the pastor, visiting them frequently and enjoyed having them to his home.  There was a real change in his heart.  There was a tenderness that he had never experienced before as he let God have more and more of his past, present and future.  

Life continued to be difficult for the one cattleman's son.  He still had the pain of his upbringing to deal with.  Some of his behavior had become so automatic that he still found himself grabbing for two pieces of bread and challenging the pastor's sons in manliness, but now, he was listening when the Holy Spirit reminded him that he was a new man.  

He still had to face his siblings and he worked hard to break down the Esau spirit in their relationships.  His own children, who experienced the pain of his lifestyle, finally were able to see that their father had truly changed.    He was now working tirelessly to make up for lost time and become more of what God desired for him all along.  

The cattleman's son's life is not over.  His life is not what it should have been but it is becoming what it could have been.  He learned an exciting principle in which he is applying to his life:  it is never too late to do the right thing.  

So, as we conclude this three-part story of living like Esau, I ask you for two things:

1)  Will you take a moment and pray for this cattleman's son?  Ask God to continue to mold this man into being the man of God that he can be.

2)  Consider your own life.  Do you live like Esau?  Are you looking out for yourself and looking for the best, seeking sensuality and the immediate gratification of your desires?  

If so, it is never too late to do the right thing.  

Ask God to change you.  

Become the man that God knows you can be.  

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

(Continued from yesterday)

As the sons of these two men grew up, they each went their respective ways, moving to various parts of the country.  The difference was, the pastor's sons wanted to return to see their father.  The sons, all leaders in their own right in different parts of the country, enjoyed their father's advice, steadiness, humble strength and faith in God.  

The cattleman's sons did not want to see their father.  

In fact, they did their best to avoid him.  

Unfortunately, when they would visit their father, it wasn't uncommon for the cattleman and his sons to physically as well as verbally fight each other.  They would argue over cattle, land, money, food.  The cattleman's sons also had trouble in staying married to their first wives.  They and their children experienced the pain of separation, divorce, remarriage, anger, suspicion and the like.

So, now, we are getting to the end of our story.  What happened to these two men?  These men chose different paths for themselves and their family experienced the consequences of these men's choices.  

The cattleman died.  He didn't experience a long illness.  Just one day, he was no longer part of this earth.  The world woke up one morning and he did not.  The land and the cattle that he once owned were divided and sold.  His sons avoided each other.   The sensuality that the cattleman pursued, led to disjointed, isolated, marginally spiritual offspring.  His children rarely got together.  When they did, peace did not rule their relationships.

The pastor lived a long life.  He outlived the cattleman by a good 20 years.  His children stayed faithful to their spouses.  Interestingly, the years after the cattleman died became very rich for the pastor.  God's blessings increased exponentially.  God increased his faithfulness with abundance.  The pastor enjoyed his children, his grandchildren and quite a few great-grandchildren.  The pastor had made several, quiet, steady investments over the years and he found that he was experiencing the most financial success he had ever had.  He needed nothing.  God gave him all he needed and more.  

More importantly, the pastor enjoyed the spiritual success of his progeny.  Several of them followed in his footsteps and went into full-time ministry.  The other children became integral parts of their respective churches, supporting God's work both inside and outside the church.  All became leaders in their community/profession.  The pastor was able to see his heritage for several generations.  God blessed him with the opportunity to see that his steadiness, and his pursuit of "God first" paid off with eternal rewards.  

You see not only did this pastor and his progeny do well, but many of the people who were affected by his ministry over the years were blessed by this pastor's steadiness and quiet confidence in God's ability to care for his children.

However, just when it seems like a story is over, God does something amazing.  Just when you think you have God all figured out, He moves.  Tomorrow we will  discuss Esau Redeemed.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Having just taken a 3-day break from posting about religious bad boys, we now are at RELIGIOUS BAD BOYS - PART DEUX.  The four bad boys this week are less dramatic in their presentation and it's a bit harder to ferret out their behavior but they can still be damaging  to a church body.

The passive-aggressive religious bad boy has a negativistic or oppositional personality.  He has many ambivalent and contradictory behaviors.  In the church, this man may be chosen to chair a committee but may never get around to having meetings and misses deadlines.  

There are two characteristics that are important to consider with this bad boy:
1) a time awareness that focuses on the present moment and deletes memory of past mistakes, ignoring the foresight required for planning, calculating risks, and anticipating upcoming threats to the church, and
2) a passive refusal to accept the instruction, discipline, and sacrifice in earning credentials for getting ahead in a culture that values greatly things such as college degrees and professional competency and licenses.  

The passive-aggressive religious bad boy is essentially unwilling to choose a teacher or a friend from whom he can learn.  He believes that he can pick up things from experience, on his own.  He is willing to accept money and other favors from people in authority but unwilling to accept consultation, instruction, warning or admonition.  

He carries a persistent mode of never having any good luck.  If a specific situation does not turn out right, it is because other people have let him down, did not do what they said they would do, or were plainly not doing their job right.  He is unwilling to be responsible for their own actions.

This bad boy is a "yes, but..." man.  He may courteously agree that your ideas are good but then begins to point out all the hindrances one might encounter.  Or he may quietly agree but then procrastinate, dawdle, forget, and finally miss out on the opportunity until it is too late.  In other words, he lets life pass by default.

When the opportunity is past, he becomes morose and sullen can be impulsive, unpredictable and explosive.  He then makes impulsive changes and drags his family and friends (and sometimes his church if he is a church leader) into surprising and dramatic changes.  He may buy or sell property, or spend money inordinately  which reveals his great impairment of judgment.  

How can the church help the bad boy?

Underlying his behavior is a fear of making a mistake, trying to be perfect but knowing that he cannot.  Hence, he usually doesn't follow thru with decisions.  To help him find confidence, we need to develop a program of close supervision over a period of time.  He needs small successes that lead to larger successes.  

This man needs to recognize the voice of God's Holy Spirit, learning to act upon these promptings immediately.  We can lay a gentle but firm hand of encouragement on his shoulder and be a Barnabas, a person of encouragement.

Many thanks to the deceased Dr. Oates from whom much of this information is taken.  His seminal work Behind the Masks should be read by those in positions of leadership in the church.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.