Category: Maturity

Built to Last

12/9/2013

As an infantry soldier I spent a lot of time sleeping in the great outdoors. Most of the time when we slept in the field we did so without any sort of a tent or anything like that, we simply laid on a mat we carried and covered up with a poncho liner. However, every once in a while we would get to build a hooch. To build a hooch you used a poncho, some tent stakes and bungee cords. When you built your hooch you had to build it strong enough to hold up to winds and rains that might come up in the night. Since our building materials weren’t the strongest materials in the world you had to be very careful how you built your hooch.

There were some things you had to do in order to build a hooch that would survive a storm. First you had to build it low to the ground. This not only gave the wind less to ‘grab’ on to, but it also made for a smaller silhouette that made it harder for the enemy to see it. Secondly, you had to tie it off in as many places as possible. There were 8 reinforced rings on the outer edges of the poncho that were perfect for this. Thirdly, you had to be sure and cinch the hood closed and tie it off slightly elevated from the rest of the poncho. This made sure rain didn’t run into the poncho through the hood and it made sure the poncho didn’t have to hold water.

To build a hooch that would survive the winds and rains took a bit of time. After you had built your hooch you would pull all your stuff in and go to bed. If a storm came up in the night the screams of those who were getting wet and chasing their poncho told us clearly who had taken the time to build their hooch correctly and who had cut corners so they could get a few extra minutes of sleep. One thing that was really interesting about this is that most of the hooches that didn’t make it looked okay on the outside. It wasn’t until the storms came that you could tell their hooch wasn’t built correctly.

There are a lot of Christians today that are a lot like those poorly built hooches. On the outside they look okay. They have homes, cars, possessions, family and really just about anything a person could want. By all appearances they are living the American dream. Despite their appearance, their stability is flimsy.

Their lack of stability is clearly seen when a storm comes into their lives. The upheaval the storm brings shatters the image of stability they are showing. This results in their family being torn apart or severely damaged. Peace and contentment become strangers. Many times this instability causes psychological problems and physical illness. The joy and victory that is supposed to characterize the Christian life is gone seemingly never to return.

Have you ever wondered why some Christians can go through tremendous trials and come through with amazing testimonies, a faith that is stronger than ever and deeper commitment to Christ than they’ve ever had, while others are nearly destroyed by their trial and crash in horrific defeat? It is because there is something wrong in the way they’ve built.

For further study read Luke 6:46-49.

What should we do if we call Jesus Lord?

Why did one house stand and the other house fall?

What are some of the storms that come into our lives?

What is the right foundation for our lives?

This post was written by Rev Ross. For the original post, go to: http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2013/12/02/built-to-last/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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The traditional church for men

4/26/2013

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I’m a member of Alaska’s largest church. It’s a lot like every other megachurch. We meet in a cavernous, windowless room with stage lighting and two huge projection screens. We’re led by a rock band and a casually dressed pastor. The service lasts exactly 75 minutes. Our church draws a large crowd that attends sporadically. There’s a relatively small, highly committed core of members that keeps the machine going.

I like my church. But it’s in Anchorage, 26 miles from my house. So my wife and I occasionally worship at a small traditional church in our little town of Chugiak. (Let’s call it St. Mark’s)

We’ve been enjoying our Sundays at St. Mark’s. The richness and rigor of the liturgy is refreshing after years of seeker-sensitive services. It’s an eight-course meal, carefully measured out for us by church fathers – confession, forgiveness, praise, instruction, communion, giving, fellowship and benediction. It’s like a spiritual multivitamin in an easy-to-swallow, hour-long pill.

St. Mark’s has a lot going for it. The people are friendly, but not overly so. There is a healthy number of kids and young adults. The facility is well kept. The sermons are insightful. We love the depth of the hymns – and the people sing robustly (as opposed to most megachurches where very few people sing). It takes my wife back to the 100-member churches of her youth.

But last Sunday was different. Once a month, this little church does a contemporary service. Gina and I were surprised – unpleasantly so.

We arrived to find the pastor without his clerical robe. A projection screen had been lowered in front of the organ pipes. We sang praise choruses instead of hymns, led by a solo guitarist who had trouble keeping the beat. The congregation did not seem to know the songs, so they sang tentatively. On a positive note, the sermon was good as usual, and the pastor skillfully used PowerPoint slides to reinforce his message.

But on balance, the overall quality of the service was not up to par. Had this been our first Sunday at St. Mark’s it’s unlikely we would have returned.

So what went wrong? This little church was trying to be something it’s not.

St. Mark’s is a traditional church. And it’s very good at being a traditional church. But it’s a lousy contemporary church.

It’s an article of faith these days that contemporary worship is the way to go if you want your church to grow. Thousands of churches will be planted this year – and every one will offer contemporary worship. Hymns are out – love songs to Jesus are in.

Traditional churches have seen young believers flocking to megachurches, so naturally they want to get in on the growth. But this is foolish. Traditional churches lack the musical depth, computer controlled lighting and sound equipment that are needed to generate the “praise-gasm” that young believers associate with God. Rock music seems out of place in a brightly lit chapel a communion table and stained glass.

People come to church to encounter God. A good worship service is transcendent; it helps people detach from this present world to connect with the divine. But when traditional churches try to be contemporary it usually comes across as forced, stilted or artificial. This dissonance jerks people back into the mundane world. Worshippers focus on the distraction instead of the Lord.

So here’s my advice to every church: be who you are. Do what you do well – and do it over and over. If you want to innovate, do so within the bounds of your culture.

Radio stations understand this princple. You won’t find the local pop music station playing the occasional Beethoven concerto. Nor will the country music station spin Lil’ Wayne’s latest rap record. Our local “Mix” radio station plays a variety of songs – but they’re all within the same genre – familiar pop/rock hits of the past 30 years.

If your church is big enough to offer two services, it might make sense to designate one a “traditional service” and the other a “contemporary one.” But if you offer just one service, stick with what you do best.

What has this got to do with men? Guys appreciate a quality worship service — but they are not very forgiving of anything hokey or half-baked. If guys want contemporary worship, they’ll go to a megachurch. Meanwhile, I firmly believe there’s still a market for traditional worship — even among the young — if it’s done in Spirit and in Truth.

This post was written by David Murrow. For the original post, go to: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2013/04/why-traditional-churches-should-stick-with-traditional-worship/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Trapped with Porn

3/18/2013

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What do you do when you are placed in a situation where you feel trapped?

I knew a guy who, like many men, had a desire to look at scantily clad, attractive women. He used to be an avid fan of Playboy magazine but as he grew in his personal relationship with Christ, he came to respect women more and was able to not spend his time obsessing about women as sex objects.

He had a good childhood friend that lived cross-country and his friend invited him to spend a week with him. His friend had a small one-bedroom apartment with a very small spare room where his friend kept his book collection. This man was to sleep in this small spare room during his visit. As he was laying there, on the couch in this small room, he started to observe the books and magazines that were in this collection. Some books were classics, some contemporary spy thrillers, and some books about military history.

Next, his eyes glanced at the magazine collection. What he didn't know about his friend is that his friend collected Playboy magazines. He had almost every issue over the previous 10 years. They were catalogued and displayed quite prominently. As he lay there trying to sleep, his mind kept wandering back to the Playboy collection that was within his reach. His mind thought back to the images that were in his mind from his previous experience with Playboy. His heart was pounding in his ears and his mind said, "it's OK to look at them. You won't be here but just a few nights. It's not like they belong to you."

What would you do? Your character determines how you will handle this situation. Your true character shows when no one is looking.

How do you handle this? God promises a way of escape. What is the answer?

Honesty.   God's strength to be vulnerable and transparent.

Fortunately, this man did the right thing. He woke his friend up and they had a conversation about Playboy. Even though his friend didn't think it was a big deal to look at Playboy, his friend took the magazines out of the room and put them in his own bedroom.

This man kept his integrity. He stayed away from sinful behavior.

Is his friend still collecting Playboy magazines?   I dunno.

But his friend now knows that not all men think that looking at porn is acceptable. Maybe nobody ever told him that before...

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Temptation: Practical Advice

2/23/2013

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There is an important principle in handling temptation. Did you know that many times, you can resist temptation? God tells us to submit to Him and then when we resist temptation, it will flee.

Resistance can be a matter of remembering this acronym:
HALTSS

H - are you HUNGRY? If your stomach is rumbling, if you feel weak from not having eaten for a while and you find yourself entertaining ungodly thoughts, go get something to eat. The renewed energy will give you strength to think clearer. If it's healthy food, you will feel even better than devouring a whole pizza.

A - are you ANGRY? Harboring anger makes you susceptible to temptation. I'm not saying anger is always bad. But dwelling on angry feelings and not letting go of things puts you in a precarious position where its easier to say yes to temptation.

L - are you LONELY? Being lonely causes a man to do stupid things. If you find yourself doing things you need not do because you're chasing away loneliness, then find a good male friend and spend some time together praying for each other. In this modern society, you will have a number of friends immediately available by Facebook, cell phone, texting, and/or email .

T - are you TIRED? When you're tired, your resistance to temptation is greatly weakened. If you find yourself tempted to do something sinful, just go to bed. Get some sleep.

S - are you SICK? Take some medication to improve your symptoms. It will increase your resistance to the bug of temptation.

S - are you SAD? Find a good male friend and spend some time praying for each other. Remember that the joy of the LORD is your strength.

This is the principle to handling temptation: submit to God and remember HALTSS

You can't use the excuse, "I just couldn't help myself, after all I'm only human."
God gave you a brain, you're not stupid.
You're not an animal that just reacts.

You can HALTSS temptation...

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

This posted was adapted from an article in the Grapevine in 1971

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Temptation: Looking Ahead

2/22/2013

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There is an important principle in handling temptation. Did you know that many times, you can anticipate temptation?

Look at the picture of this mountain path and I will try and describe this principle to you. Imagine yourself at the bottom of this mountain and you want to reach the top. The path circles around the mountain, rather circuitously and over time, you get to where you know this mountain fairly well. You know that when you get to the east side of the mountain, the drop is shear and the side is craggy and the path is treacherous. Fortunately, for you, the path has rails (like in the picture) that help you stay steady. On the north face of the mountain, the wind is very brisk, you almost feel like you will be blown off the path. On the west side, the path is lush and covered with trees that shield you from the rain and sun. On the south side, it is stark and barren and the sun or the rain beats down upon you miserably.

You know pretty much what's coming ahead because you have been there before. So you continue on your journey in anticipation. You know that you need support when you come to the slippery east side. You know that you need to grab trees and use your walking cane on the windy north side. You know that you can take it easy and enjoy yourself on the west side. You know that you need to apply protection to prevent sunburn on the south side.

Usually, as you traverse up a mountain, it takes less time to go around it because it is usually smaller the further up you go. Just like temptation, the more you prepare for it and the more times you say no to temptation, the easier the path.

Do you have the picture? Do you get what I am saying?

Think of this path as your life. You can pretty much predict what will happen if you go certain places. If you have to go someplace treacherous, get some support. Take someone with you, be accountable when you go there. If you find yourself in a place that can blow you off your feet, look for trees and walking canes that you can grab onto. If you are in the heat and need to apply SONSCREEN, ask God for His protection.

This is the principle to handling temptation: Anticipate, think, plan, pray. Use your brain. Trust the Holy Spirit's guidance.

You can't use the excuse, "I just couldn't help myself, after all I'm only human."
God gave you a brain, you're not stupid.
You're not an animal that just reacts.

You can think and plan ahead...

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

My thanks to Tom Eisenman for this concept.

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The Tournament Male

2/15/2013

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Men have within them this desire to always be looking for more.  That could be one of the definitions of a TOURNAMENT MALE. Men have unusual abilities.   For example, a room can be full of men, yet some will attempt to monopolize the only woman in the room.

Men will be talking, many of them with their backs to the door. A woman will enter the room and the men with their backs to the door will know, I don’t know how we know, but we know when a woman has entered the room. Maybe we pick up on the observations of the other men that saw her first. I don’t know how, but we men have this ability.

A few moments after the woman enters, men will do one and/or two things:
1) they will check her out, comparing her to their own wife or girlfriend, or if single, compare her with old girlfriends, and/or 2) they will approach her and start talking to her.

There will ALWAYS be more than one man who chooses option #2. Hence, the tournament is on…

Let me share with you my experience with being a TOURNAMENT MALE.

Before having been married for 10 years, we moved to Ecuador to counsel missionaries. I was excited being on the mission field with a young wife and two sons.

My office was in an English-speaking church in Quito. On one occasion, we had a group of about six high school girls visit us from America and the Pastor and I took them to the hospital in Shell Mera. We stopped at one very picturesque part of the Amazon Jungle where there was this waterfall that fed into the Amazon River. The Pastor and the most attractive girl took off down the trail (she had been sitting in the front with him and they had been carrying on quite a conversation) and I waited back at the van and walked the remaining girls down the trail. All the way down the trail, I was brooding. I was thinking to myself, “why does he get to take off all alone with the prettiest girl and I’m stuck with these five?”

I was jealous and I was not very cordial on this trip after jealousy set in.

Sometime on the trip, I don’t know if it was at the hospital or on the trip back, I realized how stupid and selfish I was. A thought hit me, “You are such a lucky man. You have a wonderful, beautiful wife and two marvelous sons. Why in the world do you care about being alone with a high school girl?” Part of the answer was I was in a competition with the Pastor. Because he was with the prettiest girl, he was more of a man than I was (or so my ego wanted me to believe).

The TOURNAMENT MALE syndrome works that way. My ego was more important to me than anything. I got jealous.

When I got back to our apartment in Quito, after the boys were in bed, I told Karyn about this experience. I told her how I felt and what I discovered about myself. Karyn said, “yes, I’ve seen that about you and have been praying that God would talk to you about that.”

That just blew me away. My wonderful, patient, loving wife chose to let God speak to me about my TOURNAMENT MALE syndrome in His timing rather than confront me directly in her timing.

I tell you this story, passing on what I learned, hoping it will help you:

-       It’s important to have someone in your life who is willing to pray for you

-       It’s important to be honest with yourself, God and someone who loves you

-       It’s important to listen to God’s Holy Spirit. He will lovingly confront you about things that need to change in your life.

Let God empower you to keep your ego in check.

Are you a TOURNAMENT MALE? Every man is. So, ask God to take you out of the tourney and put you into His hands where you can do what He wants and not be ruled by your jealousy and ego.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

My thanks to Dr Don Joy for this concept of the Tournament Male

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Actively engage in community

10/12/2012

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When Paul says we are to “walk in the Spirit” he is writing to a church community, not just to random individuals reading his letter in their private corners. Keeping in step with the Spirit of God is a community activity, something we do together.

During anti-porn week, we identified from secular research what viewing porn does to a person. This week presents practical advice of how to stay away from the influence of porn.

In other words, we keep in step with the Spirit by keeping in step with one another. We must live lifestyles of encouragement and accountability.

Nothing slays the power of sin like confession. James writes, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16). In confessing our sins to God we are promised forgiveness. In confessing sin to others we are made whole.

Sin must be habitually exposed to the light of confession. This is called accountability: being honest with another trusted believer about our temptations, sins, and the state of our heart. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, after eating of the forbidden fruit, our knee-jerk reaction is to hide—to hide from God and from one another. Accountability is the willingness to habitually and regularly allow others access to your heart, your motives, your secret desires, your dark thoughts, and, of course, your sinful actions.

How does this relate to pornography? The late psychologist, Dr. Al Cooper, believed three main factors draw people into online sexual activity:

1. Accessibility (porn is accessible easily from any Internet connection)

2. Affordability (millions of free or very cheap images are available online)

3. Anonymity (home computers and Smartphones have made it very easy to be secretive)

He dubbed this the “Triple-A Engine” of Internet porn.

These three factors work like three legs on a stool: remove just one of the legs and the stool will fall (or at least make it awkward to sit on).

The easiest leg to remove is the leg of anonymity, or secrecy. We do this by becoming accountable to others about the time we spend online, taking away the option to hide our Internet activity.

One way to do this is through the use of Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability. This software program monitors your home computer, work computer, or smartphone and then sends a detailed report of your Internet activity to a trusted friend, spouse, or mentor. Covenant Eyes, which pioneered this concept, also rates websites for mature content, flagging specific web searches and sites.

Confession of sin is not the only goal of Christian community. In the face of each other’s weaknesses, we need to encourage one another to fight sin. The author of Hebrews says, “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Heb. 10:24-25).

This can be called “responsive accountability.” When we give an account of our sins to someone else, in return, they should listen and then give an account of God’s gospel promises to us.

In this text, God calls us to “stir up” one another—that is, to urge, to spur on, to provoke, to motivate each other—to love and good deeds. Each time we meet together we should be contemplating and praying, “God, show me how I can really motivate my friend to resist temptation and instead love You and others wholeheartedly.” We are to have a hardcore intentionality and thoughtfulness in our friendships.

Like the embers of a red-hot fire, we stir up the fire not by adding heat to it, but rather by exposing the glowing embers to the air, helping to bring out of the embers the energy that is in them already. If the Spirit of God is in us, He has already planted His holy desires into our hearts. He has etched his law on our hearts (Jer. 31:33-34; Ez. 36:25-27). But He has also placed us in the family of the church, among trusted friends who are also filled with His Spirit, in order that we might stir up in each other what God has already put in us.

This post is taken from the booklet, YOUR BRAIN ON PORN by Luke Gilkerson. The booklet can be found at: http://www.covenanteyes.com/brain-ebook/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Are you mature?

9/10/2012

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We must remember that the true sign of maturity in the Lord is not in our theological understanding. I have known men who were astute in theology but their lives were full of sin. I have known men who would prepare sermons on Saturday night and then to reward themselves they would go down to the gas station and purchase pornography. To simply know theology is not to know God. To know facts about Christ is not the same as knowing Christ. To talk about prayer is not the same as praying. To talk about evangelism is not the same as actually talking to the lost about Jesus. I could go on and on.

Galatians 5:22-23 is the best measuring tool for someone who claims to be maturing in the Lord. Pride has a way of deceiving us and making us think that just because we know more than the “average” Christian (which is sadly not much) or because we read our Bibles today then we think we are doing pretty good. The reality is that we can do the motions of Christianity but miss Christ. To really grow in Christ is to be expressing the fruit of the Spirit as seen in Galatians 5:22-23. The passage reads:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Are these showing in your life child of God? You can quote from the Greek text all day long but if the fruit of the Spirit is not showing in your life, what is the point? The fruit of the Spirit shows that we are in the vine (John 15:1-11). Paul the Apostle wrote in Romans 11:16, “If the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, so is the whole lump, and if the root is holy, so are the branches.” Our fruit flows from being grounded in the root of Christ.

Never confuse knowing with doing. Never confuse knowledge with a relationship with God. Never confuse knowledge with the fruit of the Spirit. As we abide in Christ by faith, the Spirit of God helps us bear the fruit but we must abide in Christ. Not in a book but in Christ. Not in the Greek text but in Christ.

This post was written by my friend, Seeking Disciple. For the original post, go to: http://arminiantoday.com/2012/09/04/the-true-sign-of-maturity-in-the-lord/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Built to Last

The traditional church for men

Trapped with Porn

Temptation: Practical Advice

Temptation: Looking Ahead

The Tournament Male

Actively engage in community

Are you mature?

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