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Porn tubing and erectile dysfunction

2/19/2013

4 Comments

 
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In mid-2006, the world of porn underwent a transformation. The major players all introduced YOUtube-style streaming videos. Before this momentous event, you had to download the video, then open it, and risk getting a virus. Sometimes you didn't have the right software, so you spent a lot of time making sure it was what you wanted to see before downloading it and 'enjoying' it, or you would go to a specific site whose content you liked, watch the one or two new videos and leave it at that.

More recently, porn delivery evolved in the direction of video gallery sites (increasingly referred to as 'tube sites') which aggregate pages of thumbnails of streaming tube videos from different porn sites.  No guesswork, no pause while downloading. You look across a matrix of thumbnails of videos with maybe 100 or so screenshots, see a picture that floats your boat and click on it.

However, porn purveyors want hits, so your click may take you to that video, or it may take you to another site that you didn't intend to visit, often another gallery site, which is giving the first site a referral kick-back. Now you've got two pages of thumbnails open. At first, you find that annoying and close one, but after things deteriorate, something on the new page catches your eye and you click on that, making a mental note to go back to the first thumbnail. ....and so on until you find yourself with 20 tabs open.

There are two parts to a physical sexual experience: the build-up of arousal, and then the sex. In "normal" porn there is usually more emphasis on story. It often conveys some intimacy and touch etc. (Even though you are not physically experiencing it, you are mentally connecting more with those thoughts.) But on a tube site a clip is often a mere 3-5 minutes long. You go straight from 0 to 100mph. Arousal isn't a slow, relaxed, teasing build-up of expectation. 
  1. Because tube clips are so short, you do a LOT more clicking to novel clips for various reasons: one is way too short to build up arousal; you don't know what will be in the clip till you watch it; endless curiosity, etc.
  2. The variety on tube sites is limitless.
Guys all over the Web are complaining of extreme sexual performance problems and other symptoms. While the advent of Internet porn, and then the arrival of highspeed and torrent downloads of porn, increased rates of porn-related problems, many guys didn't notice severe problems until the rise of tube sites.

A professor in the University of Massachusetts Medical School, Division of Preventive and Behavioral Medicine, Sheri Pagoto PhD,  writes: 

Studies on appetite show that variety is strongly associated with overconsumption. You will eat more at a buffet than you will when meatloaf is the only thing on the table. In neither scenario will you leave hungry but in one you will leave regretful. In other words, [if you want to circumvent overconsumption and its problems] avoid the buffets of life.

Professor Pagoto points out that,

By frequently seeking extreme forms of sexual stimulation, the porn addict will eventually develop an inability to experience sexual pleasure from normal sexual activity; and if the habit goes long enough, an inability to experience pleasure from anything except porn. This pattern of behavior actually changes the brain’s “baseline” of what turns them on. As you can imagine, serious problems develop.  First sexual problems, then relationship problems, and then work problems.

It's not that food or sexual arousal are "bad." Things go awry when an activity "become[s] necessary, a 'go to,' preferred over normal life experiences." Not surprisingly, a 2011 study (USA) found that, "Higher frequencies of [porn] use were associated with less sexual and relationship satisfaction."

"Uh-oh...where's my erection?"

Endless in-your-face variety not only promotes higher-than-usual consumption, it typically also decreases sensitivity to pleasure. One common result is decreased feelings of satisfaction; the brain wants more and more.

In the case of porn buffets, another effect men often report is loss of sexual responsiveness. Decreased response to pleasure is common in all addictions, both behavioral and chemical. As erections and orgasm depend in part on sensitivity to dopamine in a key part of the brain, it appears that a decreased sensitivity to dopamine is making some users less sexually responsive too. 

But a numbed pleasure response is probably only one factor, especially for the younger guys. They appear to be wiring their sexual response to sexual cues that are so different from human sexuality that they don't respond normally to the "real deal" when a three-dimensional partner turns up. 

Wrap up

As with some other technological advances, humanity has apparently outsmarted itself with the creation of tube sites. One insightful observer commented,

If people have the right to be tempted—and that’s what free will is all about—the market is going to  respond by supplying as much temptation as can be sold. Market incentive continues well beyond the point where a superstimulus begins wreaking collateral damage on the consumer. —Eliezer Yudkowsky

What makes tube sites the Bermuda Triangle of porn? Judging from men's self-reports we'd say:

  • Using a tube site, users seek for, and consume, more novelty per session than ever. They tend to overconsume, and risk numbing their response to sexual pleasure.
  • Tube sites offer videos, rather than stills, so the viewer doesn't use his imagination and becomes a passive voyeur, no longer imagining himself as protagonist.
  • Clips are shorter than normal sex and "cut to the chase," rewiring users' sexuality to an unnaturally hasty sexual rhythm.
  • Hotter thumbnails/clips, endless novelty and abundant material that violates expectations constitute supernormal stimulation, and may rewire users' sexuality to pixels that goose the reward circuitry more than real mates.
  • Searches for the perfect clip tend to ratchet up anxiety.
  • Tube sites are intense brain-training--but not for real sex, as demonstrated by viewers' unreliable erections with partners.

Another piece of secular research.  When will Christians stop hiding their sin?  
Even the world has caught on a little bit:
Porn isn't good for you.  
Porn isn't good for relationships.  
Porn isn't good for society.

This blog post was adapted from an article found on the Psychology Today website:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201301/are-porn-tube-sites-causing-erectile-dysfunction

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


4 Comments

What's the problem with porn?

8/22/2012

2 Comments

 
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A new study by Patrick F. Fagan examines the effects of pornography on individuals, marriage, family and community. Fagan is Senior Fellow and Director of the Center for Research on Marriage and Religion at the Family Research Council. He specializes in examining the relationships among family, marriage, religion, community, and America's social problems. This study is important for everyone to read as it demonstrates that it has damaging effects on individuals and families. In the summary Fagan explains,

Pornography is a visual representation of sexuality which distorts an individual's concept of the nature of conjugal relations. This, in turn, alters both sexual attitudes and behavior. It is a major threat to marriage, to family, to children and to individual happiness. In undermining marriage it is one of the factors in undermining social stability. 

Social scientists, clinical psychologists, and biologists have begun to clarify some of the social and psychological effects, and neurologists are beginning to delineate the biological mechanisms through which pornography produces its powerful negative effects.Some of the findings inside the study include:

  • Pornography is addictive, and neuroscientists are beginning to map the biological substrate of this addiction.
  • Users tend to become desensitized to the type of pornography they use, become bored with it, and then seek more perverse forms of pornography.
  • Married men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their conjugal relations and less emotionally attached to their wives. Wives notice and are upset by the difference.
  • Pornography use is a pathway to infidelity and divorce, and is frequently a major factor in these family disasters.
  • Among couples affected by one spouse's addiction, two-thirds experience a loss of interest in sexual intercourse.
  • Many adolescents who view pornography initially feel shame, diminished self-confidence, and sexual uncertainty, but these feelings quickly shift to unadulterated enjoyment with regular viewing.
  • The main defenses against pornography are close family life, a good marriage and good relations between parents and children, coupled with deliberate parental monitoring of Internet use. Traditionally, government has kept a tight lid on sexual traffic and businesses, but in matters of pornography that has waned almost completely, except where child pornography is concerned. Given the massive, deleterious individual, marital, family, and social effects of pornography, it is time for citizens, communities, and government to reconsider their laissez-faire approach.

This post was written by Ed Stetzer.  The original post can be found here:
http://www.churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-blogs/139251-the_effects_of_pornography.html/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

2 Comments

Marital Sex or 2 hours of porn?

7/30/2012

0 Comments

 
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Sadly, many men would take the last one. But porn warps a man’s character, with devastating results:

He cares only about himself.  He is full of pride. Many of his problems stem from this root issue.

Masturbating to porn trains a man to climax quickly. If/when sex with his wife occurs, he’s a short story… if that. 

His perception of sex and reality are totally warped. He would rather masturbate to a picture of naked women who cannot comfort him, wants nothing to do with him, and who probably hated being in a porn movie/picture shoot, than enjoy an exhilarating, satisfying ride to the top with his God-given spouse.

As time progresses and he indulges in porn more often, having sex with his wife becomes emotionally strained. It’s hard to be intimate with your wife when you know you’re committing porn-adultery against her.  Shame is an intimacy killer.

Compare all of this to marital sex:

Whereas porn is a one-dimensional, shallow act of selfishness, marital sex is a multi-faceted diamond that involves physical and emotional intimacy, the fun of discovering what pleases each other, and the joy of reaching the peak together.  Sex with the spouse is far more enjoyable than anything porn offers.

Marital sex spouse has a bonding effect. I always feel that my wife and I have strengthened our union afterwards.

The communication that takes place during sex enhances the bonding process. Expressions of love and other intimate conversation take a husband and wife to places porn can’t come close to. I can’t imagine a guy talking to himself and telling himself he loves himself while he’s masturbating to porn.

Marital sex is a gauge of how the relationship is doing. I have to treat my wife with kindness, care and respect for sex to happen (and vise-versa).  If she’s turning me down and there isn’t a physical reason, it forces me to re-examine how I’m doing with carrying out one of God’s greatest commands to me as a husband – to love my wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5).

Sex with my wife gets me focused on her.  The opposite of what porn and pride do. 

The afterglow of marital sex is warm and loving, whereas with porn there’s only emptiness, shame and remorse. 

Marital sex is satisfying. 

Porn? Never! 

Maybe you want to change but are stuck. Here are some guide posts that will help you in the journey to healing: 

Stop using all porn, no matter what it takes.  Support groups, accountability software, counseling, books, whatever. There will be no progress made until you’ve taken this step.

Set the idea of sex aside, and focus  on the relationship with your wife. Take her on a date to a place she likes. Have fun together again.  Rediscover the woman you married.

Show her you care. Listen to her fears, needs and concerns. Ask her how her day went. Ask questions and encourage her to talk about her feelings. Don’t try to fix her when she shares, especially if it’s about her weaknesses or failures.

Stop criticizing her.

Stop comparing her to the porn-images you’ve exposed yourself to. Set firm boundaries in your mind that from this day forward, the only woman you will want to want is your wife. Ask for God’s healing touch in your mind and your heart from the mental adultery you’ve committed.

Do special, out of the ordinary things for her. Get her a card, make her dinner, buy flowers. Surprising her will help spark the friendship again.

Embrace humility. If she points out a way you’re hurting her or not taking care of her and she’s right, bite your tongue, swallow your pride, and ask God to help you change. Confess to her that she’s right.

Help out around the house. She’s not your maid, but your best friend.

Pray together, every day. I can’t overemphasize this one. I’ve heard a statistic that couples who pray together daily divorce one in one thousand, while those who don’t divorce one in two. Praying together is a fantastic way to draw close to your wife, and it brings the Lord into your marriage, which is what you need for healing.

When sex does happen: 
-Don’t make it a rush to the finish line.  Take your time and get into foreplay. 
-Remember that sex is an act you’re enjoying with your best friend, not something you’re doing to “get off.”
-Open up the lines of communication. Talk to her about what you like and ask her about what she likes. Tell her you love her. 
-If you suffer with premature ejaculation, read up on techniques for prolonging sex and/or see a doctor if you need to. Tell your wife you may need a little time to re-adjust physically and emotionally.

Be patient. If you’ve spent years acting out with porn and your marriage is in a bad place, don’t expect your wife to warm up to you overnight. Keep working at it, and be determined to persevere until you’ve had a breakthrough. 

This post was written by Mike Genung.  For the original post, go to:  http://www.xxxchurch.com/men/sex-with-wife-or-3-hours-of-porn.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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