Category: Shame - IRONSTRIKES

Conquering sexual sin

10/4/2014

Sexual sin once robbed your heart of something very precious. Every little boy sees the fight for right and desires to be an agent of good, to be the good guy who saves the day.

Every little boy has dreams and visions of one day being someone great and doing something great, but sexual sin often steals these dreams away. God wants to recapture those dreams and restore them for God's man on the battlefield. Victory restores these hopes and renews the dreams that were once vaporized in the midst of sexual sin.

The dream lives! Now, with a sanctified heart, you know what you can do in Him. You feel it. You're a fighting machine, confident as you approach any battle. You've proven that your Command Officer can trust you with much as long as you abide in Him. And He's proven that you can trust Him to supply all you need in battle.

Battles test and transform soldiers, and this test revealed the depth of your love for Him. You're stronger, and you're changed. God is a strong God, and He wants strong, confident soldiers in His kingdom who are good in a fight, even when facing daunting odds that seem overwhelming.

Taken from Every Man's Challenge, pp 33-34.

"Christian" swinging????

9/29/2014

A Florida couple who claim to be devout Christians and lovers of exercise say they are joyfully spreading the love of Christ and the Bible through their unconventional wife-swapping and fitness ministry. The wife says she doesn't believe swinging is wrong, but if it is, she'll find out on judgement day.

Dean, 49, and Cristy Parave, 44, revealed in an interview with Barcroft TV (Caution: Note that the referenced video is a tad bit sensual) to YouTube Thursday that they believe the community of fitness swingers they've created and promote on Facebook is "God's plan."

"I feel like right now this is God's plan," said Cristy to Barcroft TV. "The Bible doesn't talk about swinging, specifically. ... I just feel like, as a married couple, if you agree on something together then it's OK. If it's not, like I said, judgment day, I'll find that out."

Through their fitness swinging network Dean and Cristy, who is a bisexual mother of three, explained in a Daily Mail report that they have encountered swingers who are both religious and fans of exercise. Sometimes, however, they encounter people who are unsure about Jesus or are atheists. In these instances, they explained, they would have a light Bible study before they have sex.

"I don't think God would be mad at what we're doing," Cristy told the Daily Mail.

"At first I was conflicted, but the more we looked at it the more it makes sense to us. Dean and I are both in agreement with this lifestyle, so we're not committing adultery. God put people on the earth to breed and enjoy each other. I feel God is always with me and he has put us here for a reason," she said.

The couple, according to the Mail, met on a dating website eight years ago and Dean explained that, before meeting his wife and experiencing God, his life was an aimless, booze-filled nightmare.

"For me, every day used to involve a case of beer and a bottle of Jack Daniels," he recalled. "After my fifth arrest for driving under the influence, I begged God for help."

And God, he said, delivered him from an extended prison sentence.

"I should have been looking at 10 years, but the judge sentenced me to just 10 months in prison. For me that was a sign," he added.

Dean explained that he built a 40-foot cross in his backyard and committed to doing God's work for the rest of his life. And he found his ministry in swinging and exercise.

"If I can go to the next swingers event and get 10 people to believe in Christ, my job's done," Dean told Barcroft TV.

"Swinging, to me, started as a lifestyle. Then, it was like, you know what, we can do a lot of good with this, instead of, you know like, let's just have fun with this. I'm getting to people that probably would never even visit a church," he said.

"What I think about being a devout person is God is not gonna put a lion with a bunch of elephants, so what's he gonna do? He's gonna put a swinger with a bunch of swingers to spread his word, simple as that," he said.

(Editorial note: Here at Ironstrikes, we don't believe that one can be a Christian and also a swinger)

This post was taken from the Christian News Network. For the original post, go to: http://www.christianpost.com/news/christian-couple-spreading-gospel-through-wife-swapping-and-fitness-i-dont-think-god-would-be-mad-says-bisexual-wife-127107/

Sunday Meditation

9/7/2014

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love may have power . . .to grasp . . . the love of Christ.
Ephesians 3:17

We all have root systems. Roots are life-lines. They seek out and drink in water and nutrients. And they provide stability in times of wind and erosion.

Unfortunately, many of us are rooted in the soil of shame. Roots in this rocky soil become bound. They cannot sustain growth. They are not able to provide nourishment or stability.

Recovery for many of us is like being transplanted. It is the process of allowing God to first pull us out of the parched and rocky soil of shame and to then plant us in the soil of love. In the rich soil of love our fragile roots can finally begin to stretch, grow and take hold. It is a soil in which real nourishment and real stability are possible.

But transplantation is not a simple matter. No matter how gently God pulls us up out of the soil of shame, there will be trauma. And sinking roots in new soil will feel like an unfamiliar and risky adventure.

As our roots sink deeper and deeper in the soil of God's love, however, we will begin to experience growth that never could have been possible in the soil of rejection and shame. We will become 'rooted and established' in love.

My roots are in poor soil, Lord.
They do not nourish.
They provide no stability.
My roots are bound, Lord.
Transplant me.
Give me grace-full soil, Lord.
Sink my roots deeply.
Give me stability.
Nourish me.
In your love.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

By what measure do you judge others?

4/24/2014

Are we called to evaluate and judge someone by what he or she did, or by what that person does, by way of habit? After insisting that people who live wicked and impure lives will not enter heaven, as such demonstrate that they have not been born again by grace through a genuine faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, Paul writes: "In the past, some of you were like that, but you were washed clean. You were made holy, and you were made right with God in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God" (1 Cor. 6:11 NCV, emphasis added).

In the past, all of us have done (and said) ugly-natured, despicable acts. If one were to take a snapshot of a particular sin committed, as though that act were to encapsulate a person in his or her entirety, that would be wrong. No one who ever existed is defined by one or even a few negative or sinful acts. We all stumble in many ways (James 3:2), and none of us has yet arrived at perfection (Phil. 3:12). If we take one act, or one word, or even one unfruitful season in someone's life, and in a fit of strain force that moment to define a person, we not only falsely and unwarrantedly objectify the individual but we also incriminate ourselves because none of us has yet reached sinless perfection.

When I think of Samson, I do not necessarily think of his sin with Delilah and impose his infatuation and sin with her as the totality of his identity -- who he was as a human being. When I think of King David, I do not necessarily think of his sin with Uriah's wife Bathsheba and impose his sin with her as the totality of his identity -- who he was as a human being. I could admit the same with Solomon, whose life ended badly; and the apostle Paul, who murdered Christians prior to his conversion; or any number of people in the Bible who failed at moments in their life. Are we supposed to take snapshots of people's lives and claim, "This is who you are -- this defines you"?

I suppose the answer would be predicated upon an individual's repentance of certain failures or sins. For example, in the case of Jesus' betrayer Judas, we are never given glimpses of genuine repentance from his heart. What do we make, then, of Judas as a human being? What kind of man was he? Though called a disciple of Jesus Christ, we find his heart to be one of betrayal -- one of never really being loyal to Christ -- from the beginning.

Judas' heart and life differs significantly from that of the apostle Peter. Though Peter denied he knew Jesus on three separate occasions, he genuinely repented of his sin and was restored to a right relationship with Christ. Not so with Judas. Judas opened himself up to Satanic possession by his evil plans and motives. Instead of humbly, self-effacingly seeking repentance, he very selfishly committed suicide.

Portraying Judas as a betrayer can be derived not from a single event or a certain string of events but from the overall consistent attitude of his life. Portraying Peter as a betrayer, however, should not be derived from the three separate events of his having denied knowing Christ because his overall attitude was one of love for Christ in spite of his inconsistencies.

The reality is, however, that I no more want to be thought of as "that one who did this or that" than the apostle Peter wanted to always be thought of as "that guy who denied Christ," or David as "that guy who committed adultery and had her husband killed in battle." I remember someone's statement to another person who had committed a terrible act: "This is what you did -- this is not who you are; this does not define you."

When someone's sins and failures become public knowledge there is a temptation to take a snapshot and define him or her by that event. But there exists a type of deception within the hearts of those who take snapshots and define others by them. They tend to think that because their struggles and failures and sins are private then they are not or should not be defined by them.They are not willing to be as stringent with themselves as they are with others. But Jesus said that you "will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you" (Matt. 7:2 NCV).

The apostle Paul adds, "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others" (Col. 3:13 NLT). Since "it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it" (James 4:17), and "the person who keeps all the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God's laws" (James 2:10), then I think we need to extend a bit more grace to each other, not defining each other by any failure(s) but by the grace of God in Christ.

This post was written anonymously. You can find the original at: http://credendum.weebly.com/1/post/2014/04/by-what-measure-do-you-judge-others.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Sunday Meditation

2/9/2014

He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. Isaiah 42:2-3

Cheer up! Snap out of it! I thought you would be better by now! What's your problem?!

When we have been badly bruised, we have an increased sensitivity to noise. Comments like these - which many of us have heard even from people who genuinely love and care for us - are a kind of 'noise' during recovery. Because we have been bruised, these comments often feel like 'shouts' or 'raised voices in the street.' They are a kind of public shaming because of our inadequacies and neediness. And this feels like it will do us in - like the tiny recovery candle that we have just managed to light is being snuffed out by the wind of the shout.

And so when God responds with gentleness we are surprised. No shouting. No yelling. No hurrying to get better. Instead, we find compassion and tenderness. Our Healer sees that we are like a bruised reed. God will not break us. God will patiently restore us. God sees we are like a smoldering wick, ready to go out. Others might give up on us. But God will work with us until we burn brightly again.

Gentleness. Patience. Persistence. We need all three.
These are the gifts offered to us by our healing God.

I am bruised, Lord.
I am smoldering.
And, I am so accustomed to shouting.
It's so noisy that I don't always hear your voice.
I don't expect your gentle ways.
I expect you to yell, to be impatient.
I expect you to give up on me.
But you do not yell.
You are not impatient.
You do not give up.
Thank you.
Gentle Healer, teach me to be gentle.
Teach me to be compassionate with myself and with others.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

Do you practice sin in your life? - part two

12/27/2013

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Yesterday, we discussed the first part of this section of this scripture. Today, we will finish. Let God's Holy Spirit speak to you about your life.

9. Fits of rage (wrath) - The Greek word thumos is used throughout the New Testament to picture a person who is literally boiling with anger about something. Although the person tries to restrain his anger by shoving it down deeper into his soul, it intermittently flares up. When that happens, this person is like a volcano that suddenly blow it top, scorching everything within its reach as it hurls its load of deadly molten lava on the entire surrounding landscape.

10. Selfish ambition (strife) - The Greek word eritheia describes a self-seeking ambition that is more concerned about itself and the fulfillment of its own wants, desires, and pleasures that it is in meeting the same needs in others. When eritheia is working in someone's life, it means that a person's principle concern is to take care of himself and to get what he wants. He is so bent on getting what he wants that he is willing to do anything, say anything, or sacrifice any standard, rule, or relationship to achieve his goals. Because this self-consumed, self-focused attitude is engrossed with its own desires and ambitions, it is blinded to the desires and ambitions of other people.

11. Dissensions - The Greek word dichostasia means to stand apart, as one who rebels and steps away from someone to whom he should have been loyal. Thus the word "dissension" gives the impression of disloyalty. It is the ultimate act of defiance or disloyalty to an established authority.

12. Factions - The Greek word hairesis carries the idea of a group of people who adheres to the same doctrine or who ardently follow the same leader and are sectarian. The adherents of a sect are usually limited in their scope and closed to outsiders, staying primarily to themselves. In New Testament times, these groups were considered to be unauthorized because they were not submitted to the authority of the church leadership. In today's contemporary language, we would call them "cliques" - a group of people who believe or conduct themselves as if they are exclusive.

13. Envy - The Greek word phthonos implies a deeply felt grudge because someone possess what a person wishes was his own. Because this person has a chip on his shoulder, he begrudges what the other person possesses and is covetous of that person's belongings, accomplishments, relationships, or titles in life. Every time he see that other person, he inwardly seethes about his success. He deeply resents that person's blessing and tries to figure out a way to seize it away from the person he envies in order to make it his own.

14. Drunkenness - The Greek word methe refers to strong drink or to drunkenness. The consumption of wine for the sake of intoxication was common in the first century due to many pagan religions that employed wine as a part of their religious practices. A drunken state suppressed the mind's ability to think correctly and releases the flesh to fully express itself. The believers in the first century were trying to walk free from the power of their flesh. The last thing they needed was to drink wine, inhibit their ability to think correctly, revive their flesh, and then do things that were sinful or damaging! That is why Paul urged them to leave wine alone!

15. Orgies - The Greek word komoi describes a person who can't bear the thought of boredom and therefore constantly seems forms of amusement or entertainment. This person is actually afraid of being bored, so he constantly contemplates what he can do next to have fun or be entertained. The word komoi can refer to a person who endlessly eats at parties or who seeks constant laughter and hilarity. Although there is nothing wrong with laughter, this person is consumed with the need for comedy, light moments, fun, pleasure, entertainment, or constant eating. He lives for his next meal, the next restaurant, the next movie, the next vacation.

16. and the like - Paul ends this list with this Greek phrase, which alerts us to the fact that this list of the works of the flesh is not comprehensive; it is just the beginning of the works of the flesh! Many more examples of works of the flesh could be added to the list, but Paul uses these as examples of how the flesh behaves, ending the list once he has sufficiently made the point to his readers.

If you routinely do these things as a matter of lifestyle, I believe you need to go to God and ask Him to tell you the truth about your spiritual status!

You cannot afford to make a mistake about this eternal question!!

This entry and yesterday's entry are taken from the book, Sparkling Gems From the Greek by R. Renner

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Do you practice sin in your life? - part one

12/26/2013

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Let's break this down, go over each word. Let God's Holy Spirit speak to you about your lifestyle:

1. Sexual immorality - some translations call this adultery. The Greek word porneia describes any sexual relationship that occurs outside the sanctified boundaries of marriage.

2. Impurity - The Greek word here means "uncleanness." This refers to lewd or unclean thoughts that eventually produce lewd of unclean actions. It strongly suggests that these actions begin in the the mind as unclean thoughts before they manifest themselves as unclean deeds.

3. Debauchery - The Greek word here describes "excess." It primarily refers to the excessive consumption of food or wild, undisciplined living that is especially marked by unbridled sex.

4. Idolatry - The Greek word eidoloatria depicts the worship of idols, or simply put, "idolatry." The act of idolatry transpires when an individual gives his complete, undivided attention, devotion, passion, love or commitment to a person, project of object rather than God. When something other than God takes first place in a person's mind, he has entered, at least to a measure, in the the sin of idolatry.

5. Witchcraft - The word "witchcraft" is from the Greek word pharmakeia, the Greek work for medicines or drugs that inhibit a person's personality or changes his behavior. We would call these mind-altering drugs. The Greek work pharmakeia is where we get the words pharmaceuticals and the word pharmacy. This word was used in connection with sorcery, magic, or witchcraft. However, for our purposes in today's world, the word "witchcraft" describes the flesh's attempts to avoid being confronted and changed.

6. Hatred - The Greek word echthra pictures people who cannot get along with each other. They have deep issues with each other, holding resentments, grievances, complaints, and grudges that go way back in time and have very deep roots. Something occurred along the way that caused one or both of them to be offended. Instead of letting it go, they are divided, hostile, and fiercely opposed to each other. They are antagonistic, aggressive, and harsh. They hate each other. They have a grudge and are determined to hold on to their offense.

7. Discord - The Greek word eris depicts a bitterly mean spirit that is so consumed with its own self-interests and self-ambitions that it would rather split and divide than admit it is wrong or to give an inch to its opponent! This is exactly why churches end up divided and families frequently dissolve. Most of the issues that bring such division are not important. Nevertheless, division occurs because the flesh simply hates to surrender, to admit that it's wrong, to let someone else be right, or to compromise. Flesh would rather blow all issues out of proportion and wreak havoc than to let someone else have his way!

8. Jealousy - The Greek word zelos is used in a negative sense to depict a person who is upset because someone else achieved more or received more; therefore, the first person is jealous, envious, resentful, and filled with ill will for that other person who received the blessing he wanted. As a result of not getting what he desired, this person is irritated, infuriated, irate, annoyed, provoked, and fuming that the other person did get it! In short, you could say that this person is really incensed and ticked off!

Tomorrow, we will finish with this section of scripture.

This entry and tomorrow's entry are taken from the book, Sparkling Gems From the Greek by Rick Renner

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Sunday Meditation

12/22/2013

Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:18

There are three common but unhelpful ways of dealing with our failures and sins. First, there is denial. We tell ourselves that everybody has problems, so it doesn't really matter. Nothing of any value comes from this effort to cover-up. A second unhelpful strategy is to blame others for what has happened. This can range from different versions of 'the-devil-made-me-do-it' to 'I'm just a product of my environment'. Nothing of any value comes from this effort to cover-up. Thirdly, instead of turning the emotional energy outwards in blame we can turn it against ourselves as self-loathing. We see ourselves as monsters and what we have done as unforgivable. Nothing of value comes from this effort to atone for our own sins.

God invites us to another path. God invites us to be transformed. God invites us to stop denying, blaming and catastrophisizing about our lives. In order to change and grow we need to face the reality of our actions and attitudes. We need to understand that our sins are like scarlet, like crimson. They are life-draining. Destructive. But we are forgivable. We are invited to receive forgiveness. And we are invited to change. The life-draining behaviors that we have pursued can be changed. Changed from bright red to snow white. We do not have to let denial, blame and shame lock us into destructive, hurtful patterns. We can be clean and sober. White as snow. Forgiven.

Lord, free me from denial.
The pretense is choking me to death.
Lord, free me from blame.
It's not working for me anymore.
Lord, free me from self-loathing
The shame is killing me.
Help me to face the truth.
Help me to accept your offer of forgiveness and change.
Make me white as snow.
Make me as clean and pure as new wool.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

Sunday Meditation

12/15/2013

He who ignores discipline despises himself,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. - Proverbs 15:32

None of us enjoy it when people point out that we need to change. We don't like being told that we have switched from one addiction to another. Or, that we are allowing someone's addiction to control our lives. Or that we are running from intimacy. Or that we are behaving in ways that are destructive to ourselves or to others. We don't like hearing these things.

But we need this kind of honesty. We are not 'wired' for honest self-assesment. At the first sight of a problem we experience shame. And our defenses go up. We put our hands over our ears and stop listening.

We need other people to keep us honest and to help us see what we cannot see about ourselves. Honest feedback is one of our best hopes for initiating change. As this text puts it, if we 'heed correction', we can gain a lot of understanding. So, it is good to pay attention to the 'correction' and 'discipline' we get from others. We are not helped, of course, by judgmentalism and shame - we have enough of that to last us a lifetime. But we need to cultivate relationships with people who will - with love and kindness - tell us the truth about ourselves. This information can be the starting point for change in our lives.

Lord, help me to build relationships that sustain honesty.
Give me friends who will love me enough to tell me the truth.
Help me to pay attention to correction.
Give me the courage to see myself clearly.
Keep me from shame and self-loathing.
Give me the openness to correction that makes change possible.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

Becoming clean

12/5/2013

Having accepted a counseling assignment for two years in a South American country, I met an interesting man. In his broken English, he confessed, "I like dirty women."

This man was a gynecologist, very educated and finally coming to the realization that he had a terrible problem. In English, dirty can mean several things. However, in Spanish, he was very clear. He used the word, "sucia." "Sucia" means physically dirty, unwashed. He continued with other clear words, "Indigenas, indias, mujeres sucias..." Translated, those words mean, "indigenous, indians, dirty women..." He was talking about a people group that were indigenous in that area: women from the Quechua people. These people are typically considered lower class by those who don't have indian blood.

Being educated and of Spanish descent, he considered himself to be superior to these people. That was his quandary. "Why do I like dirty women? I'm not attracted to pure blood women." He went on to explain that he would sexually use some of his patients, but only the Quechua women. He felt an attraction to women that he was not supposed to be attracted to, kinda like forbidden fruit. He soothed his conscience by believing that he was only having sex with women who were beneath his station in life. These people were essentially worthless in his mind.

He would trade his gynecological services for sexual favors with his patients. He found that many times, he would not be refused because these women were poor and did not feel good about themselves. "They couldn't say no because no one thinks they are attractive. I flatter them..."

So, you can see this man has a terrible sin problem. Actually, more than one. Just to name a few: 1) prejudice, 2) sexism, 3) racism, 4) elitism, 5) compulsions, 6) fornication, etc... Just plain sinfulness.

As his story unfolded, he also revealed that he was addicted to marijuana, alcohol and painkillers. Being a physician, he had no difficulty affording and obtaining these substances, especially when he would trade his gynecological services for these substances.

He was raised in an environment with a very strong mother and a father who had abandoned him. As we delved further into his upbringing, he noted that he was brought into sex early when his mother paid for a prostitute "to teach him how to be a man" as his father wasn't doing a good job at raising him. He recalled his first sexual encounter at age eight with repeated exposure, at his mother's insistence, until he left for college at age sixteen.

In spite of his medical and financial success, this man knew that he was doomed. "My soul is on the way to hell..." Fortunately, this gentleman was receptive to God's working in his life. He came for help because he had heard that hell was a place that he did not want to go. As I was unable to follow this man due to not being around long enough to help him, I was able to hand him off to a pastor. This pastor told him about God's redemptive power and discipled him. He became very much like Zaccheus. He repented of his sinful behavior and attempted to make restitution as best he could.

This man's story teaches us that we are not doomed by the sins of our parents, doomed because we had a bad upbringing or doomed because we have abused people. There is always room for God's offer of salvation. It is never too late to do the right thing.

Is your life like this man's? Or do you think that he is beneath you?
In what kind of sin do you find yourself involved?
It is never too late to do the right thing.

If God can change this man, he can change you.

How bout it?

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.