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My last drunk

2/29/2016

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Six years ago, when I was 28 years old, I got fired from a job I created. That should have been enough to wake me up but it wasn’t.

I was the director of Campus Target, a missions organization that I started in my early twenties with my best friend Toby and a bunch of other incredible people. It was the job of my dreams. I got to travel the world. I got to speak on big stages to thousands of people. I got to meet students individually in dimly lit restaurants. My goal was to inspire people to live selflessly and to take giant leaps of faith. My invitation was always the same: Would you give one year of your life to China? Would you press “pause” on your personal ambitions and come with me? We’ll share our faith with college kids who have been institutionally stifled from looking for God.

It was a pretty romantic job to lose. And I lost it because of sex addiction. No matter how hard I tried (and I tried very hard) I could not stop acting out- usually online but occasionally at strip clubs or massage parlors. It didn’t matter how much I confessed. I told pastors, therapists, friends and family members. I prayed. I made vows. I asked God to fix me. I took a year off of ministry to get help.

I always believed that breakthrough was just over the horizon and that the solution was rooted in my desire to change. I thought that I just had to want it bad enough. That my repeated failure was evidence that maybe I liked evil more than I loved God.

It was agony. I remember waking up so many mornings in a fog. Even the morning sunlight felt like it was only there to illuminate a deeper darkness. The shame was so heavy you could almost see it suspended in the dust particles in the air. I couldn’t hold up my face on mornings like that. I knew my life was at full count- one more strike and I might be out of a job, a marriage, a fellowship of believers. You’d think that might be enough to convince me that I couldn’t fix myself. It wasn’t. Even a five year cascade of consequences wasn’t enough. That’s what I’m trying to tell you: It’s very hard to see a truth that you don’t want to see. And I did not want to see that I was a hopeless case.

If I wanted to I could have seen it on the night before Thanksgiving, 2009. There was a Skype call. Dani and I were living in China at the time. Two squished faces on our computer screen (leaders of our sending organization) said the gig was up, that I needed to come home. I tried to talk them out of it. “Let me finish the school year,” I said. In retrospect that was only further proof of my delusional thinking. (When you’re really screwed up you kind of know it but you also think that maybe you’re OK.)

Anyway, we flew home. My ministry credentials were suspended, my job was appropriated to my best friend Toby (who was always the better man for the job if you want to know the truth) and I entered recovery. But I was angry. Why didn’t God fix me when when I was trying so hard to serve him? And why did I have to lose everything? And why was there so much disappointment in everybody’s eyes? I globalized the whole thing; I figured that if somebody as awesome as I was could get screwed up like this that maybe it was the fault of Christianity proper, that maybe the whole religion was teaching folks an untenable way of life.

This was just another way of fighting against the fact that I had a problem I couldn’t fix. But I still wasn’t ready for the truth. I was stuck on the idea that it wasn’t my fault alone. That if it could happen to me there must be a flaw in the matrix.
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As a result of that conviction I forced Dani and myself through an awful season of indigence and hopelessness. I went to a bunch of meetings and therapy sessions but while I dried out from the sexual aspect of my addictive behavior I resisted any internal change. It was the worst year of my life. I lost friends who I’ve never recovered. I sunk into a deep depression. I humiliated myself and my family by hosting a multi-month temper-tantrum on my blog. And poor Dani. She stuck around, waiting, watching, hoping that I’d finally get off the couch and reenter the world. Thank God her family was nearby. There were so many nights when she would invite me to come eat dinner at their house and I would grab a beer bottle instead and say: “No thanks Sweetie, you go. Have fun. Take your time.”

I grabbed more and more beer bottles. I told myself it was only right, especially now that I was no longer oppressed by those old religious values that screwed me up to begin with. And besides, I could keep count of the bottles. I could make sure there were never too many empty ones. One trick I learned was to buy very large cans with very high alcohol-by-volume percentages. It never occurred to me that this was not normal behavior. I freely announced that as a “former addict” I ought to pay attention to my drinking but I left it at that.

About once a year I would do something dangerous with alcohol- like drink until I blacked out. Once I fell through a wall, once through a window. Still I chose to believe that those were aberrations and not a pattern. But year by year the stories began to add up. Several times I got in a car with a buzzed friend or drove under the influence myself.

Driving under the influence is the part I’m most ashamed of, the greatest evidence that I’d stopped being me, that my life was out of my hands. Before we got married Dani and her sister Kelly were hit head on by a drunk driver. Kelly was killed in the accident and Dani almost died too. I witnessed the devastation and I vowed to never drink again. But now I was drinking several times a week, usually at home or at a bar that I could walk to. But sometimes I drove to meet a buddy for beers and Dani would carry the silent dread that maybe this time I’d have more than my two beer limit. And usually I did, but I’d subtract it by the number of hours I was out, or by the fraction of liquid left in the glass.

It wasn’t until January 24, 2015 when I woke up to the truth that God must have been trying to teach me all along. Dani was seven months pregnant. We were one week away from switching apartments, cardboard boxes were strewn everywhere. On the 23rd we’d had a small tiff about money. I don’t remember what the problem was. I do remember that the next day, without warning, I bought alcohol, smuggled it into a movie theater, and drank until the idea of going to strip club sounded entirely innocent. So I drove to one, and then to another, and then I drove over a curb on the way to a third. My tire popped and I rolled for two miles on the metal wheel before ditching my car in a mechanic’s parking lot. I walked to a hotel, passed out, and woke up at 5am in disbelief. I called Dani and told her the whole disgusting story. I’ll never forget her sobs crackling through the receiver. She picked me up at the hotel. I was still woozy but everything came into focus when I sat down in the passenger seat. She was wearing a sweater stretched tight around her perfectly round, perfectly adorable belly. I couldn’t stop looking down, couldn’t stop drawing contrasts between her and me- how faithfully she was carrying my baby with her own weary body while I had been out looking at other bodies, how diligently she had been working to grow new life while I had been recklessly risking lives behind the wheel.

I don’t know if anything could have betrayed her more than what I did. My cockeyed car was undeniable evidence. I was no different from the man behind bars.

There aren’t words to describe the demoralization when you get that low. All I know is that in that moment I was given a glimpse of the future. That somehow I knew for sure that nothing was ever going to change. That my baby would be born and that life would go on and that every so often I would do something so terrible, so profoundly dangerous or immoral that I would jeopardize my safety and the safety of my family until Dani would have to leave me, would have to take my son away, and that the wife who I love more than life itself would be alone, that my boy would grow up fatherless, or worse- with me so eaten up and absent that he comes to believe his own worth is staring back at him in my sunken eyes.
That was my last drink. Tomorrow is my one year anniversary.

But listen. I didn’t actually start to change internally until I sought help without any caveats.
I’ve always had caveats. I’ve always thought of myself as a part time addict who needed part time help. Even when I lost Campus Target, even when I entered recovery, I was still full of self-righteous, self-justifying, indignation. I thought, “Sure, I need help, but I don’t need ALL the help, just some of it. And I’ll be the judge of what kind and how much I need, and of what’s reasonable and what’s unreasonable, and of who else is at fault here.”

I didn’t realize that was part of my disease. And I didn’t realize that my disease was fundamentally a spiritual disease- that I wanted control. That I didn’t want to need anybody or anything, didn’t want to be flawed or weak or worthless or inadequate or unloveable. That I wanted to be God, basically- to command that emptiness away.

How would I ever have discovered that? I might have spent my whole life losing everything, shouting angrily that the world was all wrong. It would have been a long slow death if reality didn’t hurt bad enough for me to let the truth in. But it finally found me in the car that hungover morning:

“I’m out of control.” I said. “I need help. I can’t fix myself alone.” Everything changed after that. I started taking suggestions. I started doing uncomfortable things. I’ve been letting go of my own will and I’ve been trusting for the first time since I was a teenager. It’s like this cloud is lifting off my brain. It’s like I’m connected to God again. I wish you could feel it because I know you’d feel the difference and I think you might relate.

That’s why I’m telling you this story. I’m wondering if you can see yourself in it somehow. I’m wondering if maybe you’ve been avoiding some truth about yourself and God like I was.

I know how easy it is to shrug off the evidence. To justify. To believe your own bullshit. And if you’re anything like me… if you’re proud, afraid, angry, insecure; if you’re guarded, if you’re trying to defend yourself, if you’re fixated on the wrongs done to you… I just want to say from one sick person to another, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to feel this way again. It can get better if you’re ready.

If any of this resonates for you please reach out. Every moment is an opportunity for everything to change. And maybe this is your moment. It could be. I believe that God loves you and is willing to intervene as soon as you’re ready. You don’t even have to believe what I believe though. As long as you admit you need help, and as long as you’re willing to take whatever help you can get, your posture has changed and your feet can finally move forward.

This post was written by Matthew Drake.  You can find his original post here:  
http://christianityfortherestofus.com/2016/01/24/powerlessness-or-my-last-drunk/

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Sunday Meditation

2/28/2016

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The Rest of the Soul

Even in the beginning of its renovated life, when it first finds the blessedness of forgiveness, the soul experiences a degree of peace. But, compared with what it is subsequently, it is limited both in degree and permanency. At the early period to which we now refer, the soul finds rest from the condemnation of past sins, without finding rest from the sharpness of inward conflicts, from doubts, uncertainties, and heavy temptations. As it advances in religious experience, the elements of rest develop themselves. When, by the crucifixion of self and the full resurrection of a new and purified spirit, it has become one with its heavenly Father, it then has a peace or rest approaching that of the heavenly world. ​"Thou wilt keep him in  perfect peace,"  says the prophet Isaiah, "whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.”

It is important to understand correctly in what true rest or peace of the soul consists. There is a rest which is more so in appearance than reality; just as there is a semblance, a counterfeit of humility, of benevolence, and of other Christian graces. There are some persons whose apparent rest is to be ascribed to natural inertness or stupidity, and not to the sanctified adjustment of their powers. The true rest, however, is not to be regarded as identical with inaction.

The rest of the soul, in the highest spiritual sense of the terms, is that state of the soul, whether it be in repose or in action, which is in harmony with God. There is only one right position of the soul. All others must necessarily be wrong. And that position is one where the creature is brought into perfect adjustment with the Creator, by deriving its perceptions from God, by merging its affections in God's affections, and by harmonizing its will with God's will. In such a state of the soul there must necessarily be rest, if God has rest.

— edited from A Treatise on Divine Union (1851) Part 8, Chapter 1 by Thomas Cogswell Upham.  You can find more of his work at the blog, The Hidden Life, managed by Craig L Adams at:  http://thomascupham.blogspot.com​

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5 Reasons the early church grew

2/27/2016

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There are common struggles shared among people who have chosen to go into church leadership. Ministry in the context of the church, in today’s context, is interesting because people can become so busy, disinterested, and over stimulated by production that their worship experience suffers because of their expectations.

New churches are being started all over the world, and this is a great thing, but many pastors and church leaders struggle to keep going because there is the obligation to constantly be on the cutting edge of creativity and technology. In some ways, this is great, because the Church should be the leader in innovation. In other ways, this can stifle progress when we make worship into something we try to get people to come to instead of training people to treat corporate worship as a collective out-pouring of love, support, and gratitude in response to a God who is all-powerful and good.

Unfortunately, church for many has become an elite club that focuses on recruiting instead of the power of the kingdom. Marketing has replaced getting into the lives of people one by one, and technology has pushed a desperate reliance on God’s provision aside. Now, instead of agonizing seasons of prayer to grow a church, we can spend a few hundred dollars on a great marketing campaign and get people in the doors. No suffering needed. Sure, people hear the message, but we need people to see the message too.

Now, before you think I am against churches that are heavy into these things, let’s be clear. There are so many congregations that are growing because they are able to combine attraction with authentic discipleship…it is the ones who rely on the former that, I believe, grieve the heart of God.

So, what types of things make churches grow? I don’t know if it is possible, today, to give a definitive list that is universal in every case, but I think it is easier to list the elements of the early Christian faith that spurred rapid transformation. What can we learn from the first Christians? What did they experience that served as a catalyst for their population explosion (in a spiritual sense)?

I think there are 5 things (among others) that grew the early Church.

Selfless Dedication – When researching the behavior of early believers, you will find many instances in which these pioneers of the Gospel behaved in a manner that did not immediately benefit them. “They dedicated themselves to…” was the theme of their life, and they found that serving God meant serving people selflessly. The book of Acts shows us that their work consisted of feeding, healing, assisting, and giving.

Unified Mission – When Jesus ascended to Heaven, there was an agonizing period of waiting as the disciples prayed and sought God’s next instruction. Their first mission was prayer and waiting, and when the Holy Spirit invaded their hearts, a compulsion for service, worship, and growth was added to their goals. Sure, they had disagreements among them, but they did not check each other’s political affiliation before going into spiritual battle together.

Urgency of the Call – When the Holy Spirit took control of their lives; obedience was not a hobby that they participated in when they had time.  All of their time, talents, and treasures were surrendered to God and His purposes. In today’s context, churches attract many people, but often the worship community becomes part of a series of hobbies that people do when there is time in their schedules. What would happen if God asked you to change your schedule for Him instead of finding a place for Him to fit? What if church was not the first thing to go when you felt overloaded?

Emphasis on Connection – When this movement was young, people became grafted into a larger family. This family was one that was not based on genetics, but based on common goals, the need for care, and a desire to share love. It was an extended family that shared each other’s belongings, disciplined each other’s children, and tended to each other’s crops. Imagine if we were truly welded together as a family, instead of being associated with a place that “has a great Children’s program”. Connection and care means that programs are added bonuses and not the central means of ministry.

Common suffering – These people had to be tightly knit in the context of community because they were all victims (or victors if you think about it) of abuse and systematic punishment. The government that controlled most of the world looked at these early Christians as rebels whose faith threatened the Roman lifestyle. This was certainly not intentional, but for every person that dropped what they were doing to follow Jesus was one more person that did not contribute to the common political machinery that was the Roman Empire. To them, this threatened peace. So, the Roman response included execution, exile, and slavery. Faith, however was too important to abandon.

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My prayer is that we will see growth in the church today that mirrors the vibrancy of the early church. Not growth that is exactly the same (because God is making all things new) but one that will wake us up from a sleep that has been going on far too long.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  You can find his blog here:  ​
http://other-words.net

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The sin of fakery

2/26/2016

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In 2008, a man was killed in a car crash in New Zealand. The autopsy revealed he’d been driving without wearing a seatbelt, having installed a fake belt which went over one shoulder so that it appeared to any passing motorist or police car that he was actually wearing a real one. He was pretending to comply with the law, but according to the coroner his subterfuge cost him his life.

Ananias and Sapphira wanted to appear generous. They saw the example of Barnabas and the recognition he’d received and wanted to share in the applause of men (Acts 4:36-37). They had two major problems, however. First, they sought the approval of others rather than the approval of God; second, they were trapped in their love of money. They tried to pretend they loved God, but for them, money was a greater priority.

But as Peter identified when he confronted Ananias, money wasn’t even the key issue (Acts 5:3-4). It was the couple’s attempt to deceive the Holy Spirit with a lie. By pretending to be generous but actually loving money and seeking recognition, sadly Ananias sealed his fate (Acts 5:5).

God doesn’t need our money; no more than He needed the money of Ananias. He desires hearts that worship and obey Him out of a response to the amazing love He so generously extends to us. If we pretend to give our all to Him and merely feign obedience, we sin against Him and stand condemned.

Unlike Ananias and Sapphira, however, God has given us time to repent. May we come before Him in brokenness with a true change of heart, for His grace is always available. Just pretending will get us nowhere. May we worship and obey God for who He is—our faithful, loving Lord!  


MORE: Read 1 Samuel 15:10-19 and consider how Saul tried to pretend that what he had done was right.
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NEXT: What needs to change in your worship of God? Why is it so vital that we obey Him?

This post was written by Russell Frolic of Our Daily Bread Ministries.  You can find them online at:  www.odb.org
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Anticipating temptation

2/25/2016

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There is an important principle in handling temptation.   Did you know that many times, you can anticipate temptation?  

Look at the picture of this mountain path and I will try and describe this principle to you.  Imagine yourself at the bottom of this mountain and you want to reach the top.  The path circles around the mountain, rather circuitously and over time, you get to where you know this mountain fairly well. You know that when you get to the east side of the mountain, the drop is shear and the side is craggy and the path is treacherous.  Fortunately, for you, the path has rails (like in the picture) that help you stay steady.  On the north face of the mountain, the wind is very brisk, you almost feel like you will be blown off the path.  On the west side, the path is lush and covered with trees that shield you from the rain and sun.  On the south side, it is stark and barren and the sun or the rain beats down upon you miserably.  

You know pretty much what's coming ahead because you have been there before.  So you continue on your journey in anticipation.  You know that you need support when you come to the slippery east side.  You know that you need to grab trees and use your walking cane on the windy north side.  You know that you can take it easy and enjoy yourself on the west side.  You know that you need to apply protection to prevent sunburn on the south side.  

Usually, as you traverse up a mountain, it takes less time to go around it because it is usually smaller the further up you go.  Just like temptation, the more you prepare for it and the more times you say no to temptation, the easier the path.

Do you have the picture?  Do you get what I am saying?

Think of this path as your life.  You can pretty much predict what will happen if you go certain places.  If you have to go someplace treacherous, get some support.  Take someone with you, be accountable when you go there.  If you find yourself in a place that can blow you off your feet, look for trees and walking canes that you can grab onto.  If you are in the heat and need to apply SONSCREEN, ask God for His protection.   

This is the principle to handling temptation:  Anticipate, think, plan, pray.  Use your brain.  Trust the Holy Spirit's guidance.  

You can't use the excuse, "I just couldn't help myself, after all I'm only human."   God gave you a brain, you're not stupid.  You're not an animal that just reacts.  You can think and plan ahead...


My thanks to Tom Eisenman for this concept.

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Sin management

2/24/2016

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Jesus said, "You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want."

The promise of life and the invitation to desire has again been lost beneath a pile of religious teachings that put the focus on knowledge and performance.

History has brought us to the point where the Christian message is thought to be essentially concerned only with how to deal with sin: with wrongdoing or wrong-being and its effects. Life, our actual existence, is not included in what is now presented as the heart of the Christian message, or it is included only marginally. (The Divine Conspiracy)

Thus Willard describes the gospels we have today as “gospels of sin management.”  Sin is the bottom line, and we have the cure. Typically, it is a system of knowledge or performance, or a mixture of both. Those in the knowledge camp put the emphasis on getting our doctrine in line. Right belief is seen as the means to life. Desire is irrelevant; content is what matters. But notice this—the Pharisees knew more about the Bible than most of us ever will, and it hardened their hearts. Knowledge just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. If you are familiar with the biblical narrative, you will remember that there were two special trees in Eden—the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Tree of Life. We got the wrong tree. We got knowledge, and it hasn’t done us much good.

This is an excerpt from the book The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge.  Taken from pages 38-40.  

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An acceptable sin

2/23/2016

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Most Christians today like to say that all sins are “equal” in the eyes of God, that there is no scale of less or worse sins, that a white lie or a homicide alike would have been enough to require Christ to die on the cross. We say this in theory, but in practice, we know that a white lie won’t get you kicked off the church leadership team. And a homicide likely will.

In practice, there are some sins that are socially acceptable, even in the Church. There’s one sin in particular that has pervaded our society and churches so silently we hardly give it a second thought, and that is the constant hunt for more over what is enough. Or, in an uglier terminology, what is known as gluttony.

When I think about gluttony, I think about my desire to shove a dozen donuts into my mouth and wash them down with chocolate milk. Or perhaps it’s my tendency to mindlessly feed chips to a stomach that’s no longer hungry. Many of us can look at the sin of gluttony and think, “That’s not really my struggle.” Or, we think, “What’s the big deal?” After all, most congregations have compulsive over-eaters among them, and they’re not considered “less spiritual” or “backslidden” for it.

But gluttony has never been merely an addiction to food. And if we look at it in its original definition and context, gluttony becomes far closer to home than we’d like to admit.

At its simplest, gluttony is the soul’s addiction to excess. It occurs when taste overrules hunger, when want outweighs need. And in America, where upsizing has always been part of the American dream, it’s often difficult to distinguish what is hard-earned achievement and what is indulgent excess. In this sense, even the most athletic and toned among us can be gluttons. Any of us can be.

All desire for excess stems from a lack of satisfaction. I’m not satisfied with my portion—be it the portion on my plate, in the marriage bed, or in my bank account. Because I’m not satisfied with my portion, I then seek a greater portion. But because every portion is a finite part of a finite whole, I am constantly chasing an excess that can never satisfy.

This is the story of Genesis 3. What was the sin in the Garden of Eden if not a desire for excess? Adam and Eve were given beautiful sights and beautiful tastes in the absence of shame, but what made the garden a paradise was not any of this. It was a paradise because God walked in the cool of the day with them. And yet, Adam and Eve’s downfall was because they deemed even this as not enough. They weren’t content with their portion of paradise, and they reached out—to disastrous consequence—for more.

Like them, we are ravenous beings. We embody bottomless cravings that constantly paw at the next attractive thing. Our appetites are as strong as death, Proverbs 27:20 tells us. We are always on the move for the next thing that can satisfy and slake our restless thirst. This endless pull is the engine of gluttony. It propels our souls ever toward excess.

And yet, the desire for “more” is not inherently bad, but it is often misdirected. What we need is a relentless appetite for the divine. We need a holy ravenousness. Our craving souls can turn and become enthralled by a goodness that is found in the presence of an all-glorious God. There is only one infinite source of satisfaction that can satisfy our bottomless cravings.

A taste of His supreme grace is enough to lure an appetite long held prisoner to lesser portions. If stolen water is sweet, lavished grace is sweeter.

And here’s a strange side effect: The more we drink deeply of the endless love of an infinite God, the more our tastes will be changed. The deep bright marrow of grace will drip down into the restless souls of the ever-hungry.

In pursuit of lesser portions, our tastes have dulled. We’ve become numb to our real hungers, filling them with lesser fare. But when we return to the source, we taste anew.

Psalm 34:8 challenges us to see the difference for ourselves: “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” I think Paul understood this verse when he told the people at Lystra that God gives food and gladness so that our hearts would turn from vain things and turn to the ultimate satisfaction of who God is (Acts 14:15-17).

Consequently, if God has ordained that His goodness can be tasted and seen (and, I would submit, heard, smelled and touched), this has at least two direct implications. First, it means that every finite pleasure and satisfaction is meant to point us toward the infinite pleasure and satisfaction of God. My admiration for a sunset, then, need not stop at that horizon, rather it can curve upward into praise and gratitude. Second, it means that if our desire for "more" is misplaced, then certainly it can be redirected to something good as well.

Is the desire for excess sinful? It depends on whether the soul is addicted to a finite excess or an infinite excess. Do we ever think of gorging on God? Do we relish the chance to spend a few more minutes in prayer, hidden away from the world for just one more taste of the divine? When was the last time we lingered long over the pages of an open Bible because we just couldn’t stop admiring the honeyed flavor of an ancient truth? If the Bible is the story of the only infinite good, why do we spend so much of our lives at lesser tables?

We Christians have so tamed our enjoyment in God that we cannot fathom what such thrill-seeking would even look like. Feasting on God is as foreign to most Americans as an empty stomach. Why can’t we fix our souls on the only goodness who can handle our cravings? Why do we chase the more mild flavors of money, food and sex?

If only we would not stifle our gluttonous cravings, but turn them in the right direction. If only we would feast on an infinite God who offers fullness of life, rather than these lesser tables with the far milder flavors of money, sex, food and power.

As George MacDonald put it, “Sometimes I wake and, lo, I have forgot.” Sleep is like a reset button and my hunger is misdirected often. I think I’m hungry for the finite, but I’m really hungry for God. To remember, we need to taste daily, deeply and constantly of the goodness of God. So let us turn together, and feast rightly.



This post was written by Jason Todd of Relevant Magazine.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/socially-acceptable-sin
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Fasting

2/22/2016

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When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do.

"Sit down and eat your chicken, rice, green beans, and salad."  One father saying these words to his child might mean:  "You've eaten so little today.  I am telling you to sit down at this dinner table and eat the amount and kinds of food that will nourish your body."  The same words to a different child might mean something else, however.  The exact same command might mean, "You have already eaten so much junk today!  I am telling you to sit down at the dinner table and eat the amount and kinds of food that will nourish your body."

The words of Jesus, above, about instructions on fasting might mean something different to Jesus' first audience than for us today.  Though the Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur) was the only requisite day for Jewish fasting, the faithful would also fast for various occasions including mourning, repentance, or even national penitence.  Some would make a great show of their fasting to be seen by others; they would look unkempt and even don pale makeup to emphasize their pallor.  Jesus exhorted these people to freshen up.  Fasting, which is invisible to others, Jesus promised, is recognized by God.

What's striking from a 21st century perspective  is that Jesus assumes His audience is fasting!  Fasting wasn't an ancient regulation  with no bearing on the Christian life.  Rather, the message for believers today is that God recognizes the heart of those, who, discreetly forego food or drink, or Facebook, or Twitter, or television in order to focus their attention on things of God.

Jesus' word to us today about fasting might remind us to take up this practice in order to deepen our relationship with God.  We do this to please our Father, not to impress anyone around us by our show of holiness.

This post was taken from 
Today in the Word

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Sunday Meditation

2/21/2016

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Confession and the Deceitfulness of Sin

It is proper... to confess our sins, because there may be sins in us, and not merely those which result from infirmity and are involuntary, which are seen by the omniscient eye of God, but which may not be obvious to ourselves. We have no doubt that, as a general thing, we may rely upon our consciousness in confirmation of the great fact of perfection in love. Certainly it is a reasonable idea, that, as a general thing, a man may know in himself or in his own consciousness, whether he loves God or not; and whether he loves him with his whole heart or not. At the same time there may occasionally be cases, in which he is left in some degree of doubt. He may through the influence of some sudden temptation, be driven so closely upon the line which separates rectitude from sin, that it is almost impossible for him to tell whether he has kept within it. The Scriptures also recognize the great deceitfulness of the human heart. Who, then, is able, either on philosophical or scripture principles, to assert, absolutely and unconditionally, that he has been free from sin, at least for any great length of time? We may, therefore, with great propriety, even if there were no other reason but this, ask the forgiveness of our trespasses, of our sins, or of whatever God sees amiss in us. And it is unquestionably our duty so to do.

We may add here, that it is generally, and perhaps we may say, universally the case that those, who give good evidence of being in that state which we variously describe as assurance of faith and as perfect love, and which involves the possession of the blessing of present sanctification, speak of their state in a qualified, rather than in an absolute manner. In other words, they generally express themselves, (and it is exceedingly proper that they should do so,) merely as if they hoped or had reason to hope that they had experienced this great blessing, and were kept free from voluntary and known sin. Such a mode of expression seems to be unobjectionable; it is consistent with confession, and corresponds to the precise state of the case.

— edited from The Interior or Hidden Life (2nd edition, 1844) Part 2, Chapter 16  by Thomas Cogswell Upham.  You can find more of his work at the blog, The Hidden Life, managed by Craig L Adams at:  
http://thomascupham.blogspot.com​

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God's unconditional love

2/20/2016

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What can we say about God's love? We can say that God's love is unconditional. God does not say, "I love you, if ..." There are no ifs in God's heart. God's love for us does not depend on what we do or say, on our looks or intelligence, on our success or popularity. God's love for us existed before we were born and will exist after we have died. God's love is from eternity to eternity and is not bound to any time-related events or circumstances. Does that mean that God does not care what we do or say? No, because God's love wouldn't be real if God didn't care. To love without condition does not mean to love without concern. God desires to enter into relationship with us and wants us to love God in return.

Let's dare to enter into an intimate relationship with God without fear, trusting that we will receive love and always more love.

"Though the mountains be shaken, and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. - Isaiah 54:10

This post was written by Henri Nouwen.  You can find his website here:  
henrinouwen.org

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