Blog Archives - IRONSTRIKES

Sunday Meditation

8/31/2014

He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. Proverbs 15:32

None of us enjoy it when people point out that we need to change. We don't like being told that we have switched from one addiction to another. Or, that we are allowing someone's addiction to control our lives. Or that we are running from intimacy. Or that we are behaving in ways that are destructive to ourselves or to others. We don't like hearing these things.

But we need this kind of honesty. We are not 'wired' for honest self-assesment. At the first sight of a problem we experience shame. And our defenses go up. We put our hands over our ears and stop listening.

We need other people to keep us honest and to help us see what we cannot see about ourselves. Honest feedback is one of our best hopes for initiating change. As this text puts it, if we 'heed correction', we can gain a lot of understanding. So, it is good to pay attention to the 'correction' and 'discipline' we get from others. We are not helped, of course, by judgmentalism and shame - we have enough of that to last us a lifetime. But we need to cultivate relationships with people who will - with love and kindness - tell us the truth about ourselves. This information can be the starting point for change in our lives.

Lord, help me to build relationships that sustain honesty.
Give me friends who will love me enough to tell me the truth.
Help me to pay attention to correction.
Give me the courage to see myself clearly.
Keep me from shame and self-loathing.
Give me the openness to correction that makes change possible.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

The Valley

8/30/2014

As I sit and write this blog post today, I can’t help but experience a variety of emotions. I have a hidden discouragement that is covered by a smile, but secretly I am in pain. I am in a valley. You may have been where I am as well. If you know me very well, you may now know that I lost my day job this week.

Before you get upset at the company for letting me go, let me be very clear…the company I worked for was amazing in every sense of the word. I was good at what I did, but there were a few functions of the job that I simply was not wired for. As a result, they asked me to leave. I have never been terminated before, so you can imagine the feelings that were flooding my brain and heart during this conversation.

The good thing is…my relationship with the leadership of my former place of employment is fully in tact, and there is no hard feelings. In fact, during the final meeting I had with my employers, we prayed together and cried. It was a decision that I think they needed to make and it will better the company.

I am a bivocational pastor, so losing my full time job was quite the hit. When the words were spoken, my heart sank. Immediately I began to think about providing for my family and the malnourished bank account we already had. I was mad at God, and wondered how He could let this happen. I cried, and thought I was all alone. I felt worthless. I felt shame. I felt embarrassed. Not only was I in a deep valley…but it was a big valley.

When I walked out of my place of employment for the last time, I made a promise to myself and to God. I promised that I would be open and transparent about the physical and emotional journey I was on; from the very moment I was let go. It is a hard promise to keep. I am doing this, because I think there are many people who are going through (or have gone through) this situation and wonder if the thoughts they are having are normal, and if the struggle they have is appropriate. You are not alone. Like I said…I am in a valley. You have been in this valley too. Many times. You may have not lost a job, but you have lost a loved one or wondered where the next dollar was coming from.

The valley is an interesting place to be. As humans, we avoid the situations that lead us to this point, but we can all honestly say we know the feeling well. While going through times that make us feel pain, all we want to do is get away and make the hurting stop. We want to do this, because we are afraid that it will never end. Sometimes, we lose our hope and don’t know where to turn. And, when we are being led through the valley, all we can do is look up to the mountaintops and long to be there with the people that have smiles plastered on their faces.

Why does God allow us to be in the valley? As I have waded through a knee-deep pile of confusion and pain, I think I may have figured something out about this mystery. As I have reflected on this illustration, I have realized that water does not stay on the mountain peaks, but always funnels down crevices and declines until it empties into the vast depths of the valley.

I think this is how God’s grace works. Sometimes, we experience a more powerful display of the living water when we are going through the lowest points in our journey. Even if you are at your lowest point…I can tell you it is about to rain. Look up and receive the water. Grace is coming.

All I can do at this point is look up and praise my God…and expect miracles. I am at peace.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2014/08/21/the-valley/

Follow thru with children

8/29/2014

Julie complained that her four-year-old son, Chad, is very responsive and cooperative with his father about going to bed, but when she puts him to bed and tries to leave, Chad yells for her to come back and wants her to lay down with him. Every time she tries to leave, he cries for her to come back. Julie feels exhausted and resentful that she can’t have the evening to herself or enjoy time with her husband. She wonders why she can't get the same cooperation from Chad as Dad does.

Why is it that children behave one way with one parent and differently with another? Because, parents behave differently and children quickly learn what “works” with one parent and not the other. They learn which parent they can manipulate and which one they can’t. So, what is the difference between what these parents do when they both want to use Positive Discipline? (Children who “cooperate” out of fear of punishment are not being cooperative, they are being compliant.)
Follow Through

Parents sometimes believe that giving children what they want and not burdening them with rules will show them that they are loved. We want to stress that permissiveness is not the way to help children develop initiative—or any other valuable social or life skill. If you say it, mean it, and if you mean it, follow through.

Children know when you mean what you say and when you don’t. It is really that simple. Say it; mean it; and follow-through.

Parents who say what they mean and mean what they say do not have to use a lot of words. In fact, the fewer words used, the better. When you use a lot of words you are lecturing and children tune out lectures.

One reason you may use a lot of words is that you are trying to convince yourself, as well as your child, that what you want is okay. If what you are asking is reasonable, have confidence in your request.

Some parents lack confidence because they feel guilty. They are afraid their poor little darling will suffer trauma for the rest of his life if his every desire is not met. Children will suffer much more throughout their lives if they develop the belief that love means others should take care of them and give them whatever they want. They will suffer when they don’t learn they can survive disappointments in life—and discover how capable they are in the process.

Christine shares what happened when she learned to mean what she said and to follow-through.

“Not too long ago, my daughter knew she could get away with very little with her father. She went to bed for him like a Saint. When it came to me, she knew she could push me to the ends of the earth, and get whatever she wanted, even if the whole experience was negative. We spent hours, at night with her making requests such as, rub my back, put cream on my leg, fix my blankets—all just part of a power trip she was taking me on. I felt guilty and so I continued the long and drawn-out bed times that left me exhausted and unable to finish my nightly duties.

Since reading the Positive Discipline books, I learned that much of her self-worth comes from doing things for herself, and feeling accomplished. That opened my eyes. I cut out all the special services knowing she can do things herself, and it was my job to encourage her to do so.

We follow the same bedtime routine every night. I read her a book and then I remind her that she is a big girl and she can put herself to sleep. If she gets out of the bed, without saying a word, I walk her back to her bed. If it happens more than once, I remind her that I will no longer put her blankets back on nor will I refill her water. She knows I mean what I say. After two nights of doing this, bedtime has changed all the way around. I am so thankful for what I learned in Positive Discipline. What was once a dreaded time, is now a nice, quiet time to wind down from the day.”

This post was taken from the Positive Discipline blog. You can find it at: http://blog.positivediscipline.com/2012/04/follow-through-with-children.html

Raising your son to become a man

8/28/2014

One of the best traditions our family has had over the years is the father and sons campout. We have traditionally gone up to the mountains with my sons and my sons' friends and their dads every spring for a Friday and Saturday to camp out, cook out and just talk around the campfire. Some of my best teaching moments with my sons have happened in the father and sons campout setting.

Fathers have a vital responsibility to teach their sons how to be strong and responsible men as they grow up. It is clear that in the absence of a father, or at least a positive father figure in a young man's life, he struggles to learn what it means to become a good man - one who shoulders responsibility, one who values hard work and determination, and one who will one day take on the responsibility of becoming a father and supporting a family.

But teaching a young man how to become a man involves more than just being there. It is a conscious process of mentoring, training and connecting that creates a desire and the skills needed for a boy to become the kind of man we all hope he becomes. It starts with understanding the key principles associated with being a great man and a great father and then both teaching them and living them in your own life.

So, having raised three sons, and having talked with lots of dads who raised successful sons, and having talked with some who think they didn't do all that they could have, here are some suggestions for things to know and do to raise boys into good and responsible men.

Be the role model. There is no more important aspect to raising responsible young men than modeling the behavior you hope that they embrace when they become men. As they watch you in action, they learn what being a man is all about. You have to demonstrate commitment, sacrifice, self-control and responsibility in order for them to want to be the kind of man you hope they become. Sometimes this can be the toughest assignment of all, but it is critically important. Your sons will learn more from watching how you react and behave in given circumstances than they will from everything you tell them.

Teach them about planning. Too many men seem to go through life just reacting to what is happening around them. We all know that little boys tend to be reactive to the moment, but part of becoming a man is making choices based on key values, even before the situation arises. For example, help them develop a personal budget and savings plan so they don't just fall into the lifelong trap of impulse buying. Help them think about their careers and emphasize the need for planning and preparation. Take time in your family nights to teach about scheduling and time management. As they begin to see the impact of thinking ahead and planning, they will develop an essential skill of manhood.

Teach and model respect. Men in our popular society seem to be most valued when they rebel against authority and do what they want, regardless of the impact on others. But living together in a day to day society and culture requires that we behave differently than that. Help your young men learn respect for authority, to show respect for women and girls, and to be gentlemen. Help them learn to work well with others and show respect for differing points of view.

Teach them to be trustworthy. Successful men live up to their commitments and live ethically. If they are just watching examples in the popular media, they may see role models who are dishonest, unfaithful to commitments and who put their conveniences and comforts ahead of anything else of value. But real men keep their promises, are honest even when they aren't being watched, and are worthy of trust. Be that kind of dad to them, and correct them when you see an evidence of a lack of trust.

Help them learn accountability and self-discipline. One of the core differences that distinguishes a real man from all the others is his ability to control himself and make choices that may be contrary to the feelings of the moment. The epidemic of obesity or the lax moral values of our day can be traced to a lack of self-control and self-discipline. Help you sons learn that they can make choices and sacrifice for something of greater worth. Getting them involved in a sport or music or some other activity that requires some sacrifice and self-discipline is an important step in that process. When they learn that mastering the piano takes many, many hours of practice, often sacrificing other less important activities, will teach them the value of self-discipline. And holding them accountable for responsibilities like chores or music practice will help them learn to hold themselves accountable later on.

Set up some rules and impose consequences. Sometimes as adult men we rebel a bit at all of the rules and consequences in our lives and long for younger days when we had more freedom. Living in a world of rules and consequences is a reality we have to help our sons embrace. If you are consistently late for work or leave early, you will eventually face discipline at work, or will at a minimum lose trust with your employer. So help your son commit to live by rules at home and impose consequences when he makes choices to not live by the rules. If you don't teach this principle now, your sons will learn the hard way later and leave a wake of problems behind them.

Teach your son compassion. The perception that a man has to be emotionless and conceal his feelings is very real, but is harmful to quality relationships. Teach your son about the importance of little kindnesses, of showing compassion for the disadvantaged, of demonstrating love to his family members and friends, and of protecting the environment. These feelings, in their proper place and in balance with the rest of his life, will serve him well as a responsible and strong man.

Teaching by precept and example are critical roles of fathers. Neither the example nor the teaching can be ignored if you hope to raise sons who will be real men, who will be responsible and productive, and who will raise the next generation of young men to do the same.

This post was written by Wayne Parker. For the original post, go to: http://fatherhood.about.com/od/sonsanddads/a/How-Fathers-Can-Help-Boys-Become-Men.htm

7 key biblical principles for fathers

8/27/2014

It has been my privilege over many years to work with fathers who are devoted Christians and who try to bring their faith and their spirituality to bear in their role as a husband and father. My own experience as a Christian father has led me to believe that there are many ways fathers can use solid, Biblical principles to be better fathers. Even if a dad is not a devoted Christian, these principles are timeless and will likely resonate with any father committed to be better.

These seven scriptures and the principles they reflect have had a huge impact on my approach to fatherhood. As you read and ponder, I hope that you will find meaning in them as I have and find ways to apply them in your life as a dad. The references are to passages in the King James Bible.

Ephesians 6:4 - “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”   The Apostle Paul in this verse speaks directly to fathers and offers some key principles. Often as “natural man” fathers, we provoke our children to anger. If we respond to situations with anger, we often “provoke” an angry response. If we fail in some way to love and show respect for our children, they may respond in anger. Paul suggests that the way we avoid angry circumstances is to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We may think of nurture as a role primarily for mothers, but fathers can also be nurturing, providing a safe environment for children to express themselves and learn from our teaching and their experiences.

Joshua 24:15  “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord , choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Every father makes choices in how he believes and how he behaves, and the importance of a father’s example on his family cannot be overstated. When we choose to espouse and live principles like charity, respect, devotion, service and faith, we can lead our family in the right direction. And while we as Christians may see this as primarily serving the Lord, they are timeless principles regardless of our faith tradition.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - “And these words , which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Teaching is a never-ending responsibility for fathers and this passage in the Old Testament is a good reminder. We are to teach diligently, meaning that we never stop and that we are deliberate about the opportunity, ever watching for teaching moments. And this passage also suggests that we are teaching in every situation - walking, lying down, and getting up. Sometimes we teach by precept, sometimes by our example and more often in both ways. But we need to always be teaching.

Matthew 7:9-11- “Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread , will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”  This teaching of Jesus Christ in the Sermon on the Mount reminds us to follow God’s example in how we interact with our families.   We need to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of our children, and always try to provide for them in a way that blesses them. I don’t interpret this principle as giving children everything they ask for, but in giving them things that bless them and don’t harm them. God doesn’t withhold love from us and we need to not withhold it from our families.

Isaiah 52:7 - “Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the Lord.”  The message of the prophet Isaiah is that we should be clean and that we should focus on the things of God and not on the things of the world. Men who are faithful, avoid pornography and keep their promises to God are strong in the Lord. And as fathers, we in one sense “bear the vessels of the Lord” as we have stewardship for His children that have been entrusted to us. Both we and they are vessels of the Lord as we strive to be more like Jesus.

1 Corinthians 16:13 - "Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong."  More counsel from the Apostle Paul suggests that we as men, and more especially as fathers, stand fast and act with courage and strength. Too often as men, we choose to “go with the flow,” when as Christians we are called to a higher standard. In this verse in King James, the word “quit” means behave or act. So, as my nephew often says when things get tough, “zip up your man suit and get going.”

Luke 15:20-24 - “And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.”  This passage from Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son reminds us of the importance of never giving up. In this story, the younger son of the father took his inheritance, spent it riotously and was lost to his family and to his God. The fact that the father saw his son returning while “he was yet a great way off” suggests that he had been watching for his return. And when he returned, he was welcomed like a prince and his return was celebrated by his father and others in the household. Christian fathers never give up on their children, and use their influence to keep them strong, and work with them when they stray.

This post was written by Wayne Parker. You can find his post at: http://fatherhood.about.com/od/fathers-faith/fl/Seven-Key-Biblical-Principles-for-Fathers.htm?nl=1

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

10 ways to reset your wife

8/26/2014

Fellas, if you only read one post of mine, make this be the one! I’m going to break it down for you real simple so pay attention. Some of these tips will require hard work and some will be second nature. The key is that you actually DO THEM. Some would argue that I’m turning in my “man card”, but I contend that this is the way to earn your man card. Let’s get to it.

Background
This post was inspired by my wife’s summer with the kids. Here are the stats: 5 kids, 3 months, moving to a new house, running 3 businesses – all while breastfeeding and caring for an 18 month old. Not to mention – me calling every afternoon asking “what’s for dinner?” Most women reading this are saying “Wow, I’m over it already.” My poor wife was like a dried up hibiscus in a forgotten corner of the yard. When it was time for school to start, I realized she needed to be nursed back to mental and emotional stability and I would have to be intentional about it. These tips explain how I did it:

1. Make a list of her favorite things Yes, I have a list of things my wife likes. I call this my “Rules of Engagement” list. When we started dating, the “schmoopy” meter was pegged to 11. We stayed up all night on the phone and brought Google’s servers down with chats the size of the Old Testament. We sent music videos to each other, funny blog posts, dream houses, lists of things we want to do, etc. It was AWESOME! We had so much in common and we couldn’t wait to see if “we” would work out. Being a list man, I created her profile in a Google doc with important details such as: shoe sizes, dress sizes, favorite flowers, favorite food, favorite restaurants, movies, and some things she doesn’t like.

2. Follow her on Pinterest Seriously, you need to create a Pinterest account. The misconception here is that Pinterest is for women, but if you believe that you are 100% wrong. Men have invaded the Pinterest world and have collaborated with women to build an idea superhighway that will point you where you need to go for gift ideas. My wife has what seems like thousands of Pinterest boards. Each one has a different theme. When you access the one called “Things I Like” or “Clothes Mamma Wants”, you have struck gold. All you have to do is create an account and follow her. So many times I’ve waited till the last minute to shop for her gifts and Pinterest helped make it easy for me to order something and have it delivered to our doorstep. The best part is this: if you have her shoe sizes in your list from tip #1, you can get her exactly what she wants. There is no mystery and you will be the man! Click here to create a Pinterest account. If you’re overwhelmed, you can go here to learn how to use it.

3. Sign up to receive Groupon emails If you’re planning to pour your efforts into your wife, you need to be conscious of how much money you are spending. This could get crazy expensive, but it doesn’t have to be. Groupon will send local restaurant deals to you via email. Most of the time they will be in the 40-50% off range. Download the app, purchase the deal, and voila – the voucher is on your phone. All you have to do is tell the waitress you have a voucher before she rings you up. This will help keep your costs down. One more thing, remember to tip on the amount you would have paid for, not what you are actually paying. Here is a link to Groupon.

4. “Ease her pain” Yeah, I took that from Field of Dreams, but it applies here. Ask yourself, “what specifically has been wearing my wife down?” For Karen, she was home all summer with the kids who were eating parts of our house and fighting with each other. I had to put my agenda aside and really focus on what was happening because she was losing her mind. I can’t really go into details of how you fix this because every woman is different. Just listening to what she says without offering solutions is probably the most effective way to accomplish this.

5. Thoughtful Gifts Slipping in a card is very easy to do. Just think of every time you’ve passed an aisle of gift cards when you’re in the grocery store or gas station. Next time, grab one of those puppies and do your best to write a short, heartfelt note to your wifey. For some women, this is more effective than cooking dinner for the family. It shows her that you were thinking about her while she was taking little Joe Joe to the ER for stitches on his ear. Or better yet, while she was cleaning baby turds out of the bathtub that she had just cleaned an hour before. This tip is one that I recommend you insert into your daily routine, not just to help reset your wife.

6. Attention with no intention Plain and simple, don’t do nice things for her with the expectation that she will have sex with you. She has to know that you are genuinely concerned about her in order for any of this to take root. Putting the moves on her after you fold the laundry undermines the whole operation. It would be like eating a steak before you cook it. You will pay later. HOWEVER, you should definitely be prepared for her to initiate the intimacy. In that case, get to work my man!

7. Don’t overwhelm her with all of it at once Keep this thing going for a little while. After all – she didn’t get systematically beat down in one day. This will take time and finesse. Extra attention to your wife shouldn’t be rushed, but rather like a football team with a good ground attack. Chew up some clock and keep the momentum. I will give an example: Tuesday, buy a card. Friday, bring home flowers. Saturday, let her go do her thing while you watch the kids. Monday, cook dinner. Thursday, write her a note. Saturday night, take her out on a date. That’s 2 weeks of dispersed doting that will begin to draw her away from the funk. (I’m giving you guys gems here. AMEN!)

8. Take a look at what you’re looking at. Take a look at your wife daily. Not just what you see, but what you hear her saying to you and to the things she is doing. There are things she deals with regularly that may not seem all that bad, but when she mentions it to you every day with increased angst, that’s a red flag. This tip is a lot like #5 and can help prevent a lot of issues from taking root. Don’t leave the door open for the enemy to steal the marriage God designed for you.

9. Keep updating your list. Keep your list going. You should know by now that what she liked a year ago may not be the same today. Invest time to make the list today and it will be easier to update as you go. You will only need to make minor changes or additions along the way.

10. Spiritual input. Karen and I are Christians and we believe in God’s design for marriage. This is how we set our relationship concretely before we got married, and this is how we will roll forever. There is nothing that can come close to infusing my wife with the word of God and worshipping together. This is where our strength comes from as individuals and as a married couple.

Your wife is a gift, and should be treated as such. Be vigilant in your pursuit of her and you can’t go wrong, fellas.

This post was written by Frank Lodato. For the original post, go to: http://eighthrising.com/2014/08/16/10-ways-to-reset-your-wife/

The sin of being good

8/25/2014

I’m a church kid. I admit it. Let all Petra listening, Michael W. Smith dressing, Amy Grant secular crossover questioning 40-somethings stand up and be counted! I’m not ashamed.

OK, maybe I’m a little ashamed (mostly of the Petra Praise phenomenon, but alas).

I was a good kid. I had a sensitive heart. I didn’t like to disappoint my parents, my teachers, my youth pastors, and most of all…God. And so I embraced the quintessential good kid persona. I went to church, abstained from sex, didn’t swear, never drank alcohol, avoided rated R movies, parties on the weekends, and hanging Metallica posters on my wall.

And I don’t regret any of it. In fact, if I had it to do over again I would attempt to play all my cards exactly the same way. Being good solves a whole lot of problems, rest assured.

But it doesn’t make you righteous.

And that’s where I fear many of us (myself included) often stumble. We’ve defined sin and righteousness as behaviors, actions, and outward tangibles we can measure and see.

Going to a rated R movie = Sin
Going to a church youth group = Righteousness
Partying on the weekend = Sin
Avoiding cuss words = Righteousness

(The list could go endlessly on).

And that’s no small mistake. Why? You may have some difficulty believing this, but our desire to be rebellious pleasure seekers and our discipline to be squeaky-clean rule-followers actually originate in the same place…

…our insatiable desire to be our own savior.

Yeah, I know. It was a hard one for me to swallow, too. But sin isn’t rooted in our actions, it’s rooted in where we find our identity. In whom we place our trust.

It’s easy to see the sin in pleasure-seeking and self-obsession. It’s harder to convince yourself it’s just as present in your line-towing and self-righteousness. But be honest, our motivation in “being good” originates in our insatiable longing to secure our identity in our works. We want to be in control. We want to prove we’re “better than them.” We want to save ourselves.

If I obey, God will approve of me.
If I follow the rules, God will do what I want Him to do.
If I do good, God will do good things to me.

I am the source, my actions are the trigger, and God responds to me. I find my identity in my work for Him instead of His work for me. I begin to trust in my “goodness” and not His.

And that, my friends, is sin. The sin of “being good.”

So what am I suggesting? Should we throw out our attempts to be good right along with those old CCM CD’s? Of course not (some of those albums will be collector’s items soon). Being good is good. It’s wise. I highly recommend it.

But it’s not righteousness. That can only come from one place, and it’s not you. The Gospel is for “good people,” too.

This post was written by Rev Erik Cooper. For the original post, go to: http://beyondtherisk.com/2014/08/20/the-sin-of-being-good/

Sunday Meditation

8/24/2014

The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners."' Luke 7:33-34

One of the accusations made by the religious leaders of Jesus' day was that he partied with undesirables. It was unacceptable in their minds to associate in any way with undesirables. That would make you 'unclean'. But it was particularly unacceptable to party with undesirables. Then, as now, religion was thought to be very serious business, much too serious for the kind of celebrations that Jesus enjoyed. Religion was supposed to be about intellectual abstractions and theological detail - not about going to dinner parties with unsavory characters.

In his teachings Jesus draws extensively on the Old Testament themes of the Sabbath, the Jubilee and the messianic feast to make a point. Jesus told many stories about God's love for celebration. When the lost is found, the finder throws a feast. When the prodigal returns, the father has a party. When a single person repents, the angels rejoice. And on and on. Jesus, the man of sorrows, was also a man of celebration and joy.

Like the religious leaders of Jesus' day, we may sometimes find ourselves resistant to joy. We may resist joy because we fear disappointment. Or we may resist joy because it doesn't seen congruent with being a serious minded person of faith. We may resist joy because we have been shamed or even punished for being overly enthusiastic as a child.

It is a risk to make room for joy in our lives. Joy requires that we be open to the possibility of experiencing conflicting emotions. If we wait to experience joy until our anger, grief and self-condemnation are completely gone, then we will wait a long time. But it is possible to experience joy without denying or avoiding other more painful emotions. We can follow Jesus' example of joy today. When joy comes, we can receive it. It is a good gift from God.

Lord of joy,
Lord of celebration,
Open my heart to the possibility of joy today.
Help me to tolerate the confusion that comes when sorrow and joy
live side by side in my heart.
Give me the courage to
joyfully celebrate life.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

7 ways to feed joy

8/23/2014

This month, I have been leading my church through the book of Philippians. In this book, Paul encourages the Philippian Christians in many ways, and talks to them about having joy despite what their circumstances may present. This letter presented joy in a different way than we see it in our culture. Often, we look at the list of good things that have happened to us, or cite the number of affirmations that people have conveyed. When asked about our level of joy, if we are having a bad day, we may laugh it off and deny that it is there.

We know what joy is though… It usually comes on a Friday at 4:30, or when your favorite song comes on the radio. When joy is looked at in this way, I think we completely miss the point. We begin to think that joy fluctuates depending on our mood or what is happening around us. The fact is, joy is more of a decision along with a set of intentional habits. Even more than this, it is a biproduct of a life lived in a healthy and spiritually growing way. God gives us joy when we choose to obey, and follow Him. So, in a way it is a spiritual gift straight from God. I do think, however, there are ways that we can positively feed the joy we have been given.

Among many other ways…I think there are 7 ways we can feed our joy.

1. Collect secret places- This week, our family went on a hike at a new park. It had a main trail around a small pond, and it also had narrower trails that split off into different parts of the woods. We decided to take some of these trails to where they lead and a few of them led to a beautiful river. It was so calming and it almost felt like we were the first ones to ever discover this location. It was so quiet and peaceful. I can imagine myself, one day, going to this place to speak with God, and reflect. I think it is important to collect these type of secret places…places that you can escape to for the sole purpose of connecting with God.

2. Give generously- I heard a very wise person once say that giving things away give them true value. Giving feeds our joy, because we are acting in a way that we were designed to act. Whether it be money, possessions, time, or anything else for that matter…sacrifice always gives what we have meaning. God does not bless us to become a hoarder…but to become disciples. Let God use you in this way. Giving will give you joy like you have never experienced.

3. Become addicted to forgiveness- Wait…what? Addicted? Yes. But, what if they misuse my forgiveness, and go on doing wrong. Well…I suppose that is none of your business. You are called to forgive as Christ forgave you. How insulting would it be for us to reject the most precious gift in the universe, because we are trying to prove a point. Granted, there are times that someone hurt us very deeply, and I certainly do not want to diminish this concept, but God’s power, if accepted can give us healing. Forgiveness is an important step in allowing ourselves to be healed.

4. Make a fool of yourself- Sometimes, you just need to have a tea party with your daughter or sing a silly song at the top of your lungs. You spend way too much time trying to network and market your accomplishments…Spend time getting the wiggles out. I think the life we were intended to live in the Garden of Eden was supposed to be this way. We are never too old to play.

5. Lighten up- I have said this so many times to my congregation, and I know they are getting tired of hearing it. “If you are a Christian, filled with joy, don’t forget to tell your face”. It is true. Far too many Christ-followers have the worst attitude and are always pooping on everyone’s parade. It really gets exhausting when you think about it. Why would anyone want to follow a Jesus that makes everyone grumpy? Don’t take yourself so seriously. You only get one life, and you are not doing it better than everyone else. Release yourself of the obligation of needing to be serious all the time.

6. Listen during prayer- God is not a vending machine and your prayer life is not a radio show with God as the audience. Stop it. Take a breath and let Him talk. Many times, when we complain about the fact that God is distant, God is really facepalming Himself because He has been trying to talk to you, but being the gentleman that He is, patiently waits to speak.

7. Expect miracles- Often we pray, but don’t expect anything. This is like ordering a delicious meal from a restaurant and leaving the place before you get your drinks. Why ask if you are not ready to receive? God can do anything, and the answer you need is included. He loves you so much. Let Him work.

Much of the world searches for joy around every corner, and neglect the things that feed it the most. Don’t starve your spirit. Walk up to the buffet and dig in!

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2014/08/16/7-ways-to-feed-joy/

On idolatry

8/22/2014

It is important to understand the distinction between love, and that excess of love, under whatever circumstances it may exist, which may properly be denominated idolatry. It is one of the directions of the apostle John to Christians, whom he addresses as little children, that they should "keep themselves from IDOLS."

The term IDOL, in its original sense, is the name for those false gods, to which human blindness and unbelief have given an outward form, and have set up and worshiped instead of the true God. In its secondary or figurative sense, it is the appropriate name of any object or person, which attracts and concentrates upon itself any affection, or any degree of affection, which belongs to God.

It is worthy of notice, that the ennobling principle of love is the basis of idolatry, as well as the basis of true holiness. But holy love, or love in the true sense of the terms, is always right. Idolatrous love is always wrong love; — wrong either in its place or its degree. And if right love is the highest and best exercise of the heart, it is difficult, on the other hand, to estimate the evil results of a love that is wrongly placed.

Objects, which may easily become idols, by being the subjects of an affection which is wrongly placed, surround us on every side. They are sometimes said to be innumerable. And if that be too strong an expression, it is certain that they are limited in number only by the capacity of inordinate love. This beautiful world, beautiful even in its ruins. which was originally designed to be the temple of God and of his worship, has become one great idol temple. A man's idol may be his property, his reputation, his influence, his friends, his children, those who are bound to him by the ties of natural affection, and even those who are united by religious attachments, and all other persons or things which are capable of being objects of affection, and which can attract that affection in an inordinate degree.

Thomas Cogswell Upham — A Treatise on Divine Union (1851) Part 4, Chapter 9.

For the original post, go to: http://thomascupham.blogspot.com/2014/08/idolatry.html