Yesterday, we considered the proposition that Jesus would go to a bar and drink beer.  Let me tell you about my experience with Jesus at a bar.  Would Jesus really drink beer?

I had been going to a bar for about a year.  I would go at the same time every week and in the early evening when there wasn't a lot of women there.  This bar was one of the tougher ones in the community and was known for having rough characters.  However, during the time that I went, it was retired guys and men just getting off the factory day shift.  

My activity at this bar had nothing to do with drinking alcohol.  I abstain from alcohol, always have and always will.  I felt God telling me that He wanted me to go there.  I didn't go alone and would always take another Christian friend with me.  I knew that it wasn't good to go alone so that if any rumors started, they could be easily squelched.  

My church friends and I had garnered a reputation in this bar as not drinking but rather hanging out and talking to the guys that went there.  I've noticed that men in bars aren't known for their social skills.  There is a lot of just sitting there looking at your drink and watching TV.  However, there were times in the conversations where openings to speak about more pressing matters came about.  I remember sitting there and one gentleman came over to me and said, "you're one of those preachers that comes in here every week aren't you? Why do you come in here?"  I responded, "I'm not a preacher but I am a Christian.  I come in here because I could use some friends.  I heard that this was a great place to make friends."  Our conversation wasn't outstanding but it was significant.  He came to the realization that there were at least a few Christians who were willing to be with him in a "normal" (his term) environment.  

I had a friendship with one man in particular.  He wasn't necessarily well-liked in that bar but he was tolerated.  I found out that his life was rather troubling and that he had significant physical and emotional challenges.  It seemed, over time, that he enjoyed talking with me.  He would, even at times, initiate the conversation.  I tried talking to him about spiritual things but he typically shrugged them off.  

I prayed that God would give me opportunities to make an impact on this man's life.  One time, I was in earnest prayer about what God could do with me at the bar, praying in the parking lot before entering.  After about 30 minutes of discussion, this one man whom I spoke about in the previous paragraph said that he was gonna call a taxi so that he could go home.  I thought to myself, "I wonder if this is one of the opportunities that God is given me to help him?"  So, I offered to take him to his home.  He complied and as I was driving, I asked where he lived.  He started to direct me one way and then said, "I need to go by the carryout to get some beer to take home with me."  

I gulped.

I didn't know what to say.  I said a quick prayer in my mind:  "Help!!!"  I felt a peace come over me and was impressed that God wanted me to go ahead and let this man buy beer.  

I drove into the carry-out and had them throw the case in the bed of my truck and my friend paid for it and off we went.  As I was pulling out of the carry-out, I was hoping that nobody saw me.  After all, people may think that I buy and drink beer!

I tried to strike up a conversation with my friend and he said how much he appreciated it that I was giving him a ride home.  Yet, he continued to be fairly closed to a spiritual discussion.  

After I dropped him off, I went to my church and talked to the associate pastor, a good friend of mine, and told him what happened.  He said something that was very comforting, "you prayed for God to give you an opening.  God did but not in the way you were thinking.  God knew that you were going to that carry-out.  God wasn't surprised, just you were."  

I don't know what happened to my friend after that.  I never saw him again.  I heard, a few months later, at the bar, that he had passed away shortly after my last contact with him.  He died of liver failure.  All of his years of drinking had finally caught up with him.

I'm hopeful that my contact with him was meaningful.  I'm hopeful that he came to know Jesus as his Savior and that I was instrumental in helping him reach out to God.  However, I won't know until I get to heaven.  

I'm hoping that when we get to heaven, there will be a bar there and my friend and I will be at the bar with Jesus, and we will be drinking Dr Pepper.  The real stuff with cane sugar, not the caffeine-free diet stuff that I drink now.  The good stuff...with greasy cheesy fries.  

Beer?  Not needed, there are no sorrows to drown in heaven.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Iron Mike Tyson is one of the most iconic, controversial—and also most jacked-up—sports figures of all time. And I absolutely loved watching him fight. He had the unprecedented power to knock his opponent out with just one punch. He would send you crying to mama in the first forty-five seconds of round one. And if you weren’t careful…he just might spit in your face and go to town gnawing on your ear! (Just ask Evander Holyfield.) 

Even though Iron Mike was unquestionably messed up, I couldn’t help loving him as a fighter and an athlete. Because no matter what else you could say about him, he genuinely had that “Eye of the Tiger.” The dude just loved to hit, scrap, punch you in the face, bite, trash talk, kick your booty, fight—and win! He simply stubbornly refused to lose. 

Hey parents, listen up: We need more Iron Mike Tysons in this world. 

Oh, you read that right. What I mean is we need parents who are willing to hit, scrap, punch, bite, and fight for their kids! (Of course, I don’t mean you should hit your kids.) 

But here’s who you should hit: the enemy who’s bent on stealing, killing, and destroying our families. And it’s totally gloves off with that punk. It’s Rumble in the Jungle, Thrilla in Manila, Sting in the Ring, Fight of the Century, all-out war! 

But instead of Iron Mike Tyson parenting, what we’re surrounded with today is lazy, apathetic, exhausted, busy, workaholic, God-dodging, materialistic parenting. Mom and Dad, it’s time you turn off that phone. Stuff that To-Do list in a drawer. Turn off the TV. Get your butt up off that couch. Lace up your boxing gloves… And FIGHT for your kids. 

Five Things Every Parent Needs to Fight for for Their Kids: 

1. Time. James 4:13–14 says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” Make time for your kids today. Nobody’s promising you a tomorrow with them. 

2. Purity. Did you know that the largest audience for Internet porn is kids aged twelve to seventeen years old? Understand this: Satan has a dream, a vision, and a coordinated plan to take your kids out. He wants them checking out porn, keeping secrets, rounding second base and sliding into third, plunging headlong into promiscuity! Parents, please… dig deep and find the guts to FIGHT for your kids’ purity! 

3. Marriage. Is your marriage on life support? Are you at that point where the doc should just come in and pull the plug? Have you been secretly dreaming about some other person besides your spouse? Have you been having an emotional affair? What about a full-on sexual one? Then let me tell you what happens next: Fight for your  marriage! Or risk losing it all—including your kids. It really is just that simple. Sure, it’s tough. I get it. Things are jacked up. I get that maybe you’re not “feeling it” anymore. But one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is modeling for them how to have a healthy, vibrant, passionate love affair—with your spouse! 

4. History. So, what’s your deal? Are you a yeller? Does your anger cause your kids to walk on eggshells around you? Are you a workaholic? Spiritually passive? Porn addict? Critical heart? You know that’s not who you want to be. So why are you still keeping that old man around? Kick him to the curb! Find out what it really means to be in Christ, and to have Him in you. You CAN change the pattern of history that has so far defined your life. Write the legacy that your kids deserve. But here’s the thing: You’re going to have to get bloody knuckles to make it happen. FIGHT! 

5. The Obvious. Fight to keep Jesus in the center of your family. The only thing trying to stop you is the whole world. Don’t let it. Push back. When the cares of this world try to start a fistfight with your family, you pull a knife. When they pull a knife, you pull a gun. Fight! Every day of your life, as soon as you get up, strap on your armor. (See Ephesians 6:10–18 to learn how.) Read God’s Word together, pray together, go to church together, talk about Jesus on the way to school, when you get up and before you go to bed. It's time to RE-UP.  Recommit to making Jesus the centerpiece of your life.

This post was taken from the booklet Sex, Lust and XXX:  Fighting for your kids' purity in a sex saturated world. 

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

"In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again."  
Chance the Gardener (Chauncey Gardiner) - from the movie Being There.  

Being There is one of my favorite movies because of the amazing simplicity that is offered.  People are so taken aback by Chauncey's common sense (of which he is oblivious) that he is deemed a genius.  

One of the best things that you can do as a dad is quite simple.  It is so profound that many men miss the power of this one behavior that impacts their children so deeply.  

What is this behavior?  Look at the title of this post.  

BEING THERE.  That is what kids need.  

Did you know that a dead father is a better father than an absent father?  

STOP.  DON'T QUICKLY READ THAT SENTENCE.  
READ IT AGAIN.

Did you know that a dead father is a better father than an absent father?

When a dad is dead, the kids have a real reason why they don't see their dad. 

When a dad is absent, kids take that personally.  They ask, "what's wrong with me?  Why won't my dad come and see me?  Why won't my dad spend time with me?"

As a young father, one of the things I enjoyed most when my sons were old enough to sit up, was sitting  on the floor and rolling a ball back and forth.  When they were older, we would play catch, we would also play Nintendo together.   I loved going on missions trips with them.  We saw several countries and experienced several cultures together.

However, there were also times when I put them on the back burner.

I regret the time I spent serving on church boards.  

Did you know that to a young boy, it doesn't matter to him whether you are on a church board or sitting on a bar stool?  

What matters to him is that you're not there.  When you're not there, a son imagines why his dad is not there and often imagines that something is wrong with him or you would be with him.

So, this post is written to dads and potential dads:  BE THERE for your sons.

This post is written for church boards:  let the young dads spend time with their families and let the older dads, whose children are no longer home, serve on the church board.   

So let me conclude with more simple wisdom from Chauncey:  
"As long as the roots are not severed, all is well.  All is well in the garden."

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

A Christian friend of mine recently confessed on her Facebook page that she wouldn't be caught dead at Wal-Mart and then went on to make fun of the people that shopped there.  

That was bad.  

What was "badder" was that several people commented, making further disparaging comments about the people that shop at Wal-Mart.  


Their comments really hit me wrong.  

I think I know why.  I can see myself making the same comments.  Okay, maybe not the same comments, but I certainly think them.  

I have Christian friends who talk about the "ghetto Target" or the "poor people's Krogers" and they talk about how they would "never" go to "those kinds of places."  "Those are dirty places filled with dirty, rude people."

Then I think about the times that I prayed at the "fancy restaurant" and then was rude to the waitstaff.  

I have Christian friends who would "never ride the bus" because all of the homeless, poor people who ride the bus.   I hear, "I'm scared of those people.  I can't stand to be around them.  I can smell them before they even get close."

Then I think of times that I have ignored people I don't know and avoid people who are different from me. 

As I write this post, I'm having a hard time defining who I am writing this to. 

I want to say something to my Christian friends about their behavior.  
I want to tell them that Jesus would never act like that.  

But I can't say those things.  
I have no right.  
I'm just as guilty, IF NOT MORE.

LORD, forgive me.
Help me to be more like Jesus.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

God can never be put into a box.  When you think that a story is over or God has done all He can do in a situation, He reminds you that He has plans for us that we could never think, dream or even imagine.

If you remember from the previous two posts, there was a pastor and cattleman.  The pastor lived a godly life.  The cattleman lived life like Esau:  desiring to be the best, be the manliest, having the most and grabbing all you can from life because "you only go around once."  He lived a life of sensuality.  The cattleman wasn't a bad man, he just slightly missed the mark. 

God was working in the cattleman's sons' lives.  One of the cattleman's sons finally came to himself.  He had experienced heartache and sadness from his father, his siblings, his wives and his children.  All of these heart wrenching experiences finally brought him to the point where he realized that the way he experiences life leads to moral, financial and spiritual bankruptcy.  

This man became what God desired of him.  He found comfort in being with the family of the pastor, visiting them frequently and enjoyed having them to his home.  There was a real change in his heart.  There was a tenderness that he had never experienced before as he let God have more and more of his past, present and future.  

Life continued to be difficult for the one cattleman's son.  He still had the pain of his upbringing to deal with.  Some of his behavior had become so automatic that he still found himself grabbing for two pieces of bread and challenging the pastor's sons in manliness, but now, he was listening when the Holy Spirit reminded him that he was a new man.  

He still had to face his siblings and he worked hard to break down the Esau spirit in their relationships.  His own children, who experienced the pain of his lifestyle, finally were able to see that their father had truly changed.    He was now working tirelessly to make up for lost time and become more of what God desired for him all along.  

The cattleman's son's life is not over.  His life is not what it should have been but it is becoming what it could have been.  He learned an exciting principle in which he is applying to his life:  it is never too late to do the right thing.  

So, as we conclude this three-part story of living like Esau, I ask you for two things:

1)  Will you take a moment and pray for this cattleman's son?  Ask God to continue to mold this man into being the man of God that he can be.

2)  Consider your own life.  Do you live like Esau?  Are you looking out for yourself and looking for the best, seeking sensuality and the immediate gratification of your desires?  

If so, it is never too late to do the right thing.  

Ask God to change you.  

Become the man that God knows you can be.  

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

There is a difference between being masculine and being macho.  Masculinity is our healthy expression of the uniqueness of being created a man in God's design.  The behaviors of a macho man are instead unhealthy expression of the stereotypes of masculinity lived out in their most extreme forms.  The macho man perverts true masculinity.  He pretends to be strong by acting aggressively and creating about himself an image of power, both of which mask the deeper reality of the insecurity within.  The truly masculine man knows who he is in God and enjoys a healthy integration of this emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual nature. This wholeness comes from knowing and responding to the truth that he is fully loved and accepted in Christ.  The masculine man in Christ is truly set free to become all that he is meant to be.

The macho man lives out an image of manhood that emphasizes only one small part of what it means to be male.  He pretends that it is possible to live life with a constant erection.  But, our physical genital reality reminds us that we are only sometimes hard.  Most of the time, we are are soft.  The majority of our lives is lived out as penis, not erected phallus, and this is normal and proper for men.  Think of what it would be like in actuality if we had to live the whole of our lives with an erection.  This is a grotesque image.  Yet it is the kind of masculine image many macho men attempt to convey thru their personalities as they relate to those around them.

It is far healthier and more productive to recognize and celebrate the broader dimensions of our masculinity modeled for us most completely by the man Jesus, our loving LORD.   As He demonstrated, a man's strength is not rooted in violent aggression or in an obsession with worldly power, but in the Godlike power of sacrificial love.

A man is not weak, but strong, when he wisely chooses to live the predominant portion of this life with his sword in his sheath.  This is not a man feminized.  This is a masculine man who has given up the false god of proud machismo and has delivered his complex and diverse masculine personality into the hands of God to be shaped by the demands of love.

This post is taken from Temptations Men Face.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.