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Tradition

5/4/2013

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Picture
    THE CALF PATH
    One day, through the primeval wood,
    A calf walked home, as good calves should;
    But made a trail all bent askew,
    A crooked trail, as all calves do.

    Since then three hundred years have fled,
    And, I infer, the calf is dead.
    But still he left behind his trail,
    And thereby hangs my moral tale.

    The trail was taken up next day
    By a lone dog that passed that way;
    And then a wise bellwether sheep
    Pursued the trail o’er vale and steep,
    And drew the flock behind him, too,
    As good bellwethers always do.

    And from that day, o’er hill and glade,
    Through those old woods a path was made,
    And many men wound in and out,
    And dodged and turned and bent about,
    And uttered words of righteous wrath
    Because ’twas such a crooked path;
    But still they followed — do not laugh --
    The first migrations of that calf,
    And through this winding wood-way stalked
    Because he wobbled when he walked.

    This forest path became a lane,
    That bent, and turned, and turned again.
    This crooked lane became a road,
    Where many a poor horse with his load
    Toiled on beneath the burning sun,
    And traveled some three miles in one.
    And thus a century and a half
    They trod the footsteps of that calf.

    The years passed on in swiftness fleet.
    The road became a village street,
    And this, before men were aware,
    A city’s crowded thoroughfare,
    And soon the central street was this
    Of a renowned metropolis;
    And men two centuries and a half
    Trod in the footsteps of that calf.

    Each day a hundred thousand rout
    Followed that zigzag calf about,
    And o’er his crooked journey went
    The traffic of a continent.
    A hundred thousand men were led
    By one calf near three centuries dead.
    They follow still his crooked way,
    And lose one hundred years a day,
    For thus such reverence is lent
    To well-established precedent.

    A moral lesson this might teach
    Were I ordained and called to preach;
    For men are prone to go it blind
    Along the calf-paths of the mind,
    And work away from sun to sun
    To do what other men have done.
    They follow in the beaten track,
    And out and in, and forth and back,
    And still their devious course pursue,
    To keep the path that others do.

    They keep the path a sacred groove,
    Along which all their lives they move;
    But how the wise old wood-gods laugh,
    Who saw the first primeval calf!
    Ah, many things this tale might teach --
    But I am not ordained to preach.
                                                            Sam Walter Foss  (1858-1911)

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Don't Sleep Alone

1/21/2013

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Picture
"We haven't shared our bed for over 20 years," the man told me.  This man came to see me for counseling as he was at the end of himself.  He was running out of faith.  Faith in his marriage, faith in his wife, and ultimately faith that God could fix his situation.  He was on the verge of suicide.

He told me an interesting story.  The problem started rather simply as many young marriages do.  "We were having a fight one evening.  I don't even remember what it was about.  But we were really steamed at each other and I decided I was going to "punish" my wife.  I told her that if she was going to act that way, I would just sleep on the couch."  Over time, this couple learned to handle their conflicts in this distorted, disrespectful and damaging way. God says that this type of behavior is sinful.   Sometimes, his wife would take the initiative and "punish" him by sleeping on the couch.  Over time, there was less forgiveness, less tolerance and less sleeping together.  After a while, they stopped sleeping with each other altogether.  His wife decided that she didn't want to share their bed with a man who was so unforgiving.  So, she decided to move into the spare bedroom.  God has stated that this type of behavior is unacceptable.

By all outward appearances, this couple was envied by their friends.  This couple had a terrific facade.  They both led very active lives.  He would spend time with the boys watching sports and hanging out.  Her friends became more important to her than her husband.  People were so observant of their ability "to let each other enjoy themselves without tying the other down."  

There were problems that were creeping in unaware to this couple.  Their children noticed that at home, dad & mom would hardly speak to each other.  They noticed that there parents would each go to their respective bedrooms in the evening and watch TV.  They noticed that, at home, there was a lack of love and joy.  However, the children also noticed that when they would go to church as a family, that all seemed good.  At first the children enjoyed going to church because it felt like then they were a family that really loved and cared for each other.  However, as the children became teenagers, they noticed the hypocrisy that their parents displayed.  Their parents were one way at home, one way with their friends, and another way at church.  When the children would talk to their friends, they came to realize that their parents really didn't love each other.  It was all an act.  

It was his son that awakened this man to what was really happening.  His son casually said, sarcastically, "when I get married I want to have a wife that I don't love too, Dad."  This man was so floored by his son's hurtful statement, that he didn't even know what to say or do.  He just broke down and started crying.  He asked himself, "what have I taught my children about love and marriage?"  He realized that the last 20 years of his life have been a sham.  That's when the feelings of despair and hopelessness set in.  That's when he first started contemplating ending his life.  Fortunately, this man sought help for his situation, deciding to get counseling for himself.

Now, the recovery from 20 years of denial and lovelessness is a long and arduous journey and I won't get into the issues that this man needed to face in counseling.  However, I share his story to stop you and make you think...

How are you treating your wife?  Have you two gone so far as to not share the marriage bed anymore?  Maybe you haven't done that physically but emotionally.  Do you sleep together, side-by-side, each nite and wonder why you're married, not feeling as if this person to whom you are married is even worth staying with?  Have you given up on your love internally and just live a sham marriage?  

Let me encourage you today.  A pastor of mine used to say this frequently in his sermons, "it's never to late to do the right thing."  So, if you've gone a long time (or even a short time) and haven't been cultivating the love and romance in your marriage, be a man and take the first step.  Swallow your pride. Apologize to your wife for discarding her.  Work on valuing her.  Let your kids see you two in love.  Get help and talk to your pastor or a Christian counselor.

Tomorrow, we are going to continue our discussion of marriage...

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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What is your goal?

11/27/2012

3 Comments

 
Picture
It was kind of a surreal experience....   We had just arrived at our mission in Quito and here I was less than 48 hours later standing at the graveside of a man I didn't know and hadn't even met.

I watched as the gravedigger dug the grave by hand.  He would occasionally stop and put his chin on top of the shovel and seem interested in what was going on as he rested.  There was hardly anybody there.  Just the man's wife, a couple of other people, the pastor, myself and the Ecuadorian gravedigger.  Being one of the few English speaking churches in town, the widow called the pastor with whom I served on staff and asked that he do the funeral.   I was there as support.  

The story of this man's life ended sadly.  He was a very successful American businessman who had visited Ecuador frequently and ended up buying some lucrative property in Quito so that he could retire.  He had quite a nest egg.  His goal in life was to retire with his wife at this property in Quito and live a life of ease and luxury.  

What was interesting was that this man and his wife arrived in Quito about the same time my wife and I had arrived.  We may have even been on the same airplane.  What he hadn't considered, as he grew older, was that his health wasn't as good as it had been in the past.  Quito has an elevation of over 9,000 feet (btw - Denver has an elevation of just over 5,000 feet) above sea level.  People who visit Quito often come done with Soroche (altitude sickness).  The symptoms are very similar to carbon monoxide poisoning.  The stress of the Soroche that he was experiencing taxed his body and his heart stopped working.  

So, here we have a man who saved his whole life, gathered quite a bit of money and bought some nice property in Quito so that he could retire, and within 48 hours of achieving his goal, he died.  From what his wife described, it also appeared that he died without knowing Jesus as his Savior.  

Jesus talked about this.  He said, "Now what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your soul?"  

Jesus, who taught a parable about a man who amassed fortune and trusted in himself, said, "You fool!  You will die this very night.  Then who will get everything you worked for?"

Having a goal is not bad in and of itself.  However, if your goal excludes God and is just to please yourself, know that you may never reach it.  If you do, it won't last forever.  

Everyone dies.

Then there is reward or payment.

Yet, if you have a goal and it includes God and pleasing Him, you WILL reach it. 
 

"Don't store up treasure on earth..."  

Make heaven your goal.


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN

3 Comments

Living

10/13/2012

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Picture
Many people cruise through life and just demand the basics of survival from an existence that seems to have nothing to offer. Days are filled with the same routine as the day before, and the only unique part of life comes with the occassional vacation or a day off. This mentality, however, can affect these rare times of relaxation. The reason for this is….often, all we think about during these times is what is waiting for us back at the routine. For instance, I used to get really excited for a day off when I worked at a retail store. The only problem was that it seemed like the very minute that my free day started, I could feel the next day breathing down my neck…..with all of its stresses, complications, questions, etc.

So, we get into this cycle of simply surviving and we find ourselves spiritually heading in circles just like a race at the Motor Speedway. All we do is race, and strain, and exert only to end up where we started…

What if we were to have a mission in life? A mission that involved saving people from the everyday… the routine. The Bible indicates the fact that God gives each life purpose. Initiating a relationship with the God of the universe will bring about adventure, chaos, danger, and intrigue. Our mission will be to become closer to Him, and each day is filled with new possiblities. People will look at you differently. Your work will have new meaning and direction. There will finally be a reason to get up in the morning….

Don’t get me wrong….it is not easy. But then again, living the routine is easy…

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://otherwordsdotnet.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/life-on-purpose/


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Tired of spinning your wheels over porn?

8/30/2012

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Picture

Open Your Heart, Pop Out of      

              Your Rut

Perhaps you've noticed that familiar inner patterns automatically kicks in as soon as you...



  • Sense that you're being criticized
  • Sense that your spouse is withdrawing from you
  • Discover an opportunity to feast on lust
  • Worry your partner is lusting after someone else
  • Feel disrespected by your kids
  • Feel left out by your friends
  • Are disappointed in your own performance
  • etc., etc., etc.

We cherish our human capacity for resourcefulness and innovation, but how creative do we really permit ourselves to be? So many of our inner responses follow these old tracks created more by our programming than our preferences, by our conditioning than our consciences. 

Once we find ourselves in those inner ruts, the behavior patterns we manifest become quite predictable as well. We engage in some version of fight, flee, or freeze. We accuse. We blame. We criticize. We escape. We pull away. We put up a wall. We numb out. We bite our tongue. We pretend we aren't affected. 

Our mental ruts have channelled us into behavioral ruts... which then push our loved ones and associates into self-defeating and self-perpetuating ruts of their own. Life becomes a continual round of Emotional Groud Hog Day. New, potentially fresh interactions--sometimes even with brand new people--but somehow they end up feeling eerily familiar. A new day!... but lived in the same old, same old way.

Here is an experiment to try out. It just takes a minute, but when it works the difference can be profound:

  • Acknowledge a defensive/protective reaction has come up.
  • Notice what you feel.
  • Realize that reaction (or part of you) is trying to help.
  • Move the reaction you're feeling  to your heart.
  • Reengage with the situation or interaction in a deliberately open-hearted way.
  • Ask God to show you how to handle this reaction and use that reaction to draw you closer to God.

Do it two or three times a day when you feel the gravitational pull of outdated, unwanted emotional reactions. 

This post is adapted from  Dr. Mark Chamberlain.  You can find his original post with comments here:  http://markchamberlainphd.blogspot.com/2012/07/open-your-heart-pop-out-of-your-rut.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

0 Comments

The Calf Path

3/31/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture
    One day, through the primeval wood,
    A calf walked home, as good calves should;
    But made a trail all bent askew,
    A crooked trail, as all calves do.

    Since then three hundred years have fled,
    And, I infer, the calf is dead.
    But still he left behind his trail,
    And thereby hangs my moral tale.

    The trail was taken up next day
    By a lone dog that passed that way;
    And then a wise bellwether sheep
    Pursued the trail o’er vale and steep,
    And drew the flock behind him, too,
    As good bellwethers always do.

    And from that day, o’er hill and glade,
    Through those old woods a path was made,
    And many men wound in and out,
    And dodged and turned and bent about,
    And uttered words of righteous wrath
    Because ’twas such a crooked path;
    But still they followed — do not laugh --
    The first migrations of that calf,
    And through this winding wood-way stalked
    Because he wobbled when he walked.

    This forest path became a lane,
    That bent, and turned, and turned again.
    This crooked lane became a road,
    Where many a poor horse with his load
    Toiled on beneath the burning sun,
    And traveled some three miles in one.
    And thus a century and a half
    They trod the footsteps of that calf.

    The years passed on in swiftness fleet.
    The road became a village street,
    And this, before men were aware,
    A city’s crowded thoroughfare,
    And soon the central street was this
    Of a renowned metropolis;
    And men two centuries and a half
    Trod in the footsteps of that calf.

    Each day a hundred thousand rout
    Followed that zigzag calf about,
    And o’er his crooked journey went
    The traffic of a continent.
    A hundred thousand men were led
    By one calf near three centuries dead.
    They follow still his crooked way,
    And lose one hundred years a day,
    For thus such reverence is lent
    To well-established precedent.

    A moral lesson this might teach
    Were I ordained and called to preach;
    For men are prone to go it blind
    Along the calf-paths of the mind,
    And work away from sun to sun
    To do what other men have done.
    They follow in the beaten track,
    And out and in, and forth and back,
    And still their devious course pursue,
    To keep the path that others do.

    They keep the path a sacred groove,
    Along which all their lives they move;
    But how the wise old wood-gods laugh,
    Who saw the first primeval calf!
    Ah, many things this tale might teach --
    But I am not ordained to preach.
                                                            Sam Walter Foss  (1858-1911)

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