Search this site
IRONSTRIKES
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Beliefs
  • Formation
  • For Women
  • Meetings & Events

This post has "sex" in it

9/13/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
Greetings!

This is your friendly neighborhood blogging pastor, and I would like to talk to you today about sex. That’s right; sex. You cringed a little bit didn’t you? You are also probably wondering why a pastor would be talking about such madness…Well, I am so you get the benefit of my thoughts today. The reason you slightly cringed when I told you my subject for this post was because you couldn’t imagine things like church and sex being remotely connected. They are. More than you know.

Unless you were some weirdo, there is no way you enjoyed the 5th grade “talk” about the birds and the bees. Guys and girls would be split up for their gender appropriate talks. Guys would learn about their bodies and, girls would have their pillow fights and do make up or something…I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Anyway, my point is, sometimes this subject makes us uncomfortable and it is taboo in mixed company…but why?

Sex has become so uncomfortable to talk about because, for the most part, we have allowed our culture to define what it is. It is an act that is performed by two parties who want the other to love them more and make them feel valuable. Of course I am being sarcastic about this, but it is almost true according to what we see everyday.

Last night, I was watching a TV show and a comment was made that nearly cause my jaw to hit the floor. Long story short, a few girls were talking about the previous night and all of them except one had sex with the man they were dating. The girl who did not was crying, because she didn’t feel loved and appreciated by this man. She also questioned whether this guy liked her at all or not. WHHHAAAAAATTTTTT????????!?!?!?!

Oddly, enough I wanted to cry too. AND, it was for all of the exact reasons why this lady was crying on TV. I was grieving because she did not feel loved. I was in sorrow because she did not feel appreciated. Most of all, I was frustrated because she thought that sex was the way to get these needs met. I guess even part of it was the fact that I have a beautiful daughter and I thought about the world she will grow up in.

Folks, I am no sex expert but I can tell you one thing. Looking at the “dirty deed” in this way leads to destruction. Every human being was created as a valuable vessel for God’s mission. We can either reject that or embrace that purpose. In our culture, we are told that couples have to “try each other out” to see if they are compatible. Do we realize how much that destroys the value that humans were created to have? Looking at sex in this way tells the other person that, in order for you to be loved by me, I must see if you meet my needs wants first. Thus, I am going to use you until I feel better, and when I don’t feel better, I will move on.

This set of thought processes are what leads to dissolving marriages, rape, depression, and even addiction. These are the people I see paraded through my counseling office…the hurt, broked, and used. In pain and jaded abut humanity in general.

Why are we doing this to ourselves? The pain that comes from this type of life breeds more pain…and then trying to cope with this pain on our own hurts others in many cases. Let’s redeem what this subject is all about. Sex was created by God as a way to serve each other and fulfill the ancient mission of multiplication.

Don’t allow the culture to feed you lies.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  For the original post, go to:  http://other-words.net/2014/09/09/this-blog-post-has-the-word-sex-in-it/


0 Comments

5 Things I learned from Mrs Davis

7/26/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
“Landon, did you read chapter 7 like you were told to do for today’s quiz?” Of course I did…who is actually going to say no to that question? There can be nothing more exciting in life than an entire chapter on the wonders of the preposition. In fact, I couldn’t put the book down Mrs. Davis…I didn’t sleep at all and felt like I needed to read the chapter 10 times just to make it really soak in.

Okay, so I didn’t really say that when Mrs. Davis asked me the question. I thought it though. Her question was somewhat annoying because she knew I didn’t read it. I mean, with my active social calender, reading a chapter that explores a part of speech was not on my priority list. She loved this stuff though. You could tell that this got her up in the morning. I, however did not get the same rush out of 6th grade english class. My quiz score that day showed it too. Also, the fact that I was known to turn in the occassional late assignment because “I forgot my notebook at home”. That was my go-to excuse…but she didn’t buy it. She was good…really good.

I loved Mrs. Davis…even though she was a little too excited about adverbs…really excited (english nerds will get that pun). Every day I came to 6th grade english, I was confronted by a woman who put up with me and made it her mission to help me grow in knowledge. She taught me more than just how to diagram a sentence (I shutter).

Today, I want to share 5 things in that I learned from this amazing educator.

1. Your work reflects your integrity- Many times I came to class unprepared. It was no one’s fault but my own. I had made laziness a fine art that was perfectly honed over time. One day, Mrs. Davis sat me down and talked to me about how it was unfair for me to not put in the effort when others tried so hard. I really didn’t listen at the time, but in my adult life this has proven to be true.

2. Shut your mouth- Deep in the recesses of my memory, I can recall a few times where I may have been told to quiet down in class. Okay…I admit it…I was a talker. I still am in fact. There were times that I had wonderful grades on my report card and there would be comments that would indicate that I was an “excessive talker”, and I tended to be a “distraction to others”. I looked at it as sharing my wisdom with my classmates…that and I really wanted them to laugh in the middle of quiet reading time. Overall, I learned, just like it says in the book of Proverbs, those who remain silent are often assumed wise.

3. It’s okay to not know the answer- I would get so upset with myself everytime I would raise my hand and my answer would be wrong. I felt inadequate. I felt humiliated. Looking back on it I realize it was silly to feel this way, but I wanted to be right. I think, sometimes, we discount the importance of being corrected. Our pride often gets in the way and we miss opportunities for learning and growth. It’s okay to admit that there are things you need to learn.

4. Your discomfort should not control your action- There were times when I would have given anything to avoid doing that book report. The book was not exciting and all I wanted to do was go out and play after school instead of putting some time in typing an essay on a book I picked out of the library solely based on how many pages it had…When I took it seriously, though, I found that I expanded my mind more than I thought I would. Push through the urge to reject discomfort. It can lead to growth.

5. Passion is contagious- When the end of the year came, I realized that I had gained a deep love for reading and writing that continues this to this day. Mrs. Davis loved what she did and wanted others to share the same passion. It worked. People loved her class and, as much as I would have hated to admit it then, she made learning fun.

God speaks truth to people in many ways, and through many people with many different occupations. I am grateful that he used this teacher to speak to me at a time when I really needed to hear wisdom. My hope is that many more can learn from the lessons God taught me.



This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  For the original post, go to:  http://other-words.net/2014/07/19/5-things-i-learned-from-mrs-davis/



0 Comments

8 Characteristics of a healthy person

4/2/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture
1. Does the person constantly compare himself or herself to others?

Theodore Roosevelt is attributed to saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Emotionally unhealthy people compare themselves to others, think the grass is always greener, and even resent others’ success. In contrast, emotionally healthy people are content with what God has given them, confident that God has perfectly equipped them for what He has called them to do, and can celebrate the success of others.



2. Does the person have a victim mentality?

Emotionally unhealthy people keep company with people who bring them down and then blame everyone else when their life isn’t how they want it to be. Conversely, emotionally healthy people don’t act as though the world owes them anything. They don’t waste their time having pity parties or feeling sorry for themselves.

3. Do you hear about forgiveness when talking to this person?

Closely related to number 2, emotionally healthy people don’t hold grudges. They know that harbored anger and resentment will imprison them and affect every aspect of their lives. Emotionally healthy people don’t dwell on the past or obsess about a time someone hurt them.

4. Does this person need to be the center of attention?

Ever been around that person who is needy for attention or constant affirmation? It’s just a guess, but that person probably has some deep insecurity with which they need to deal.

Emotionally healthy persons don’t need or demand recognition. In fact, the most successful people I’ve ever been around almost refuse to let the conversation become about them. They ask about others in the room. They give credit to others. They believe in themselves and “do their own thing,” not needing to fit in or craving affirmation.

5. Can this person say “no”?

Over committing yourself may be a sign that you think you’re superman or that you want others to think you are. If someone can’t say no, they are probably too worried about what everyone else thinks of them. And if someone is too fixated on pleasing others, they may not be emotionally healthy. Likewise, over committing yourself might mean that you’re placing a higher priority on work than on your family/home life.

6. Is this person high on the “drama meter”?

“And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:7). A firm trust in the goodness of God gives a deep peace that makes one relatively unfazed by change, daily stressors, worries, and tough situations.

Emotionally healthy people don’t have knee-jerk emotional reactions to change or get worked up about things that they can’t control.

7. Does the person have a record of giving back and giving his or her all?

Emotionally unhealthy people hoard their time, talents, and even love. Emotionally healthy people have a spirit of servanthood and give of themselves. Emotionally unhealthy people are afraid to try hard because they might fail. Emotionally healthy people give their all regardless of what they might get in return or what the outcome might be. And if they do fail, are hurt, or are rejected, they don’t give up or begin to withhold their gifts. They continue to give back and give everything they’ve got.

8. Does this person know that joy is a choice?

When Walt Disney said, “Happiness is a state of mind,” he was on to something. Emotionally healthy people know that they have control of their attitude and their responses to situations.

Listen for persons choosing to live out all of the fruit of the spirit, which are clear determiners of emotional and spiritual health: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

This post was taken from the Vanderbloemen Search Group.  You can find out more at:  http://vanderbloemen.com/insights/8-ways-to-spot-emotionally-elite-candidates

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

2 Comments

Using the "F" Word

8/22/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
I honestly never thought I’d see the day when Christians would justify swearing.

I lived a sheltered life growing up. My Christian parents allowed me to watch a re-release of Gone With the Wind at the local theater when I was 12, and my virgin ears were scandalized when Rhett Butler told Scarlett, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” I had never heard such language—and I knew that if I ever talked like Rhett Butler in my house, I would be sent to the backyard to choose my own switch.

Fast-forward to today, when profanity has so saturated our culture that dirty words are unavoidable. Dropping the F-bomb is a daily habit for millions of Americans. Jesse Sheidlower, the editor-at-large of the Oxford English Dictionary, says the F-word has lost its shock value. He says, “For most people, it’s hardly noticeable anymore.”

Today students wear “WTF?” T-shirts to school. I’ve seen the F-word indelibly tattooed on people’s arms in dark blue ink. And I’ve heard guys and girls alike use the F-word more than 15 times in a sentence to simply describe their day. There’s even a mock children’s book titled Go the F*** to Sleep that was one of the fastest-selling titles on Amazon in 2011. What’s going on here?

Music has certainly played a role in forcing the F-word on us. (Listen if you dare to any popular hip-hop artist for proof of this nastiness.) One song by the rock band Limp Bizkit a few years ago featured the F-word 50 times. American rapper CeeLo Green released a song in 2010 called F*** You, and it was nominated for a Grammy Award. Meanwhile, the Motion Picture Association of America recently relaxed its ratings code to allow more uses of the F-word in PG-13 movies. (The old rule only allowed one F-bomb per film.)

I’m not going on a crusade to wash out our nation’s potty mouth. We live in a free country. And besides, I don’t expect non-Christians to talk like Sunday school teachers. But at the risk of sounding like a prude, I think true believers need to be reminded that it’s not okay to talk trash. This certainly goes for preachers—no matter how young and trendy they are.

I honestly never thought I’d see the day when Christians would justify swearing. But it was only inevitable, since many popular preachers have emphasized greasy grace while overlooking our serious lack of discipleship. The underlying message these days is: “Don’t be religious or legalistic. We have to be relevant to the culture.” The implied meaning is: “Go ahead and talk dirty. God doesn’t care. Maybe when non-Christians hear you swearing, they won’t label you a religious nut.” I’m not buying that line for three reasons:

1. Filthy talk defiles you and those around you. Jesus said it is not what goes into the mouth of a person that defiles him, but what comes out of his mouth (Matt. 15:11). Then the apostle Paul wrote, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths” (Eph. 4:29, ESV). The word corrupting here refers to rotten fruit or rancid fish. Filthy talk stinks! Dirty words have the power to soil you—and the rancid odor will linger in your soul.

2. Obscene or crude language is a reflection of your inner character. British preacher Charles Spurgeon once said, “Beware of everyone who swears: he who would blaspheme his Maker would make no bones of lying or stealing.” Ephesians 5:4 says filthy talk or crude joking are not “befitting” a Christian (ASV). The NIV translates it this way: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place.” If a Christian defiantly insists on talking trash, he has revealed deeper flaws and can’t be trusted.

3. Rough language is a sign of an unsurrendered will. The psalmist wrote, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Ps. 141:3, ESV). Mature Christians invite the Holy Spirit to inspect every area of their lives: attitudes, thoughts, grudges and addictions—as well as coarse language. If you insist on holding on to carnal habits, you are quenching the Spirit’s fire. Your spiritual growth will be forever stunted.

The prophet Isaiah recognized that he was “a man of unclean lips” who lived among “a people of unclean lips” (Is. 6:5). After his repentance, an angel touched his lips with the hot coal of God’s holiness. We need this miracle today if we want to speak for God.

God wants to use our mouths as channels of His life and blessing, but we will never be His prophets if we talk like the world. Let God clean up your conversation.

This post is written by J. Lee Grady who is the former editor of Charisma and the director of the Mordecai Project(themordecaiproject.org). You can follow him on Twitter at @leegrady. He is the author of Fearless Daughters of the Bible and other books.  For the original post, go to:  http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/18379-why-i-don-t-use-the-f-word



Is swearing always inappropriate?  Here are a couple of posts on swearing that were previously posted on Ironstrikes:  http://www.ironstrikes.com/2/post/2012/07/murdered-love-pod-uses-the-f-word.html & http://www.ironstrikes.com/2/post/2012/07/dont-christians-j.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

2 Comments

Pastoral confessions

8/12/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
My dad was a minister in a church. My uncles were ministers. My cousin’s a minister. About thirty of my best friends are, or were, ministers.

I was a minister, until I quit seven years ago. Probably forever.

It’s difficult being a minister. In the hard times, I always felt like many of the people in the church didn’t really understand us. Where our hearts were, how we were feeling, what our intentions were, how best to help us help the church. Which often felt dysfunctional. And I spent a lot of my down time thinking about a list of things I wish the church understood.

But while I was in the position, saying them would have sounded only like whining. Or it would have been uncomfortably vulnerable.

Now that I’m seven years removed from ministry, with no chance of returning, I want to offer some of these things to you who attend church regularly, hoping that they might be received in a different, more constructive spirit. I’ve really got nothing invested here any more, except love and respect for my brothers and sisters who do this for a living. And a hope that I can make someone’s life just a little better.

A disclaimer is in order. I ran these by a large handful of ministers this week, and most of them said something akin to ‘Yes, exactly!’ But there were one or two who responded saying that they’ve had a different, better experience with ministry, and that most of these don’t apply to them. But I think it’s fair to say that about nine out of ten ministers relate strongly to most of what’s here.

It might also be weird that I’ve written them in the first person, as though I’m currently a minister. I’m not. But since I was born and bred and trained for it, and since I did it for so many years, I’m placing myself back into the fold for this post. Most of it comes from my own personal experience anyway.

So here’s what your minister wishes you understood. Give it a read, give it some thought, and give him or her a bigger hug than usual tomorrow morning.

1. Our greatest fear is irrelevance. It’s not losing our jobs, hurting your feelings, or accidentally saying the F word during a sermon. Those fears are there. But they are nothing compared to the nagging fear that what we say and do is making zero difference in your life. That you are only showing up to church because of habit, or obligation, or mental illness. That we are laying ourselves bare to write and deliver a sermon every week that nobody is hearing.  If your pastor has made an actual difference in your life ever, by word or deed or example or friendship, take some time this week to let him or her know, in as much detail as you can. You cannot imagine how far that will go.

2. We are mama’s boys. Apologies to the female pastors, this one’s just about the guys. I’ve read studies that higher than 80 percent of male pastors say they are much closer to their mothers than their fathers. This has a lot of implications, and it explains why we’re more likely to play an instrument than fire a gun, have coffee with a friend than watch a game, read a book than restore an old Mustang. It also means that nobody in the church gets our attention as much as the old ladies, who can make or break our day with a kind word or a disapproving scowl. When you’re dealing with your male pastor, keep in mind that he’s more likely to speak the language of nurture over discipline, collaboration over competition, forgiveness over punishment. These aren’t things he learned in seminary, these are things he learned in diapers.

3. S/he sees you when you’re sleeping. Some people in the pews think there’s a two way mirror between them and the pulpit, that they can see the pastor but the pastor can’t see them. Wrong. We see you yawn, look at your phone, whisper something into your wife’s ear. Sleep. Which is fine. If we’re boring, it’s not your fault, it’s ours. But just be aware that we see you, and that if you can manage to at least look like you’re a little more interested, it might actually feed some energy back to us and give us more zing. Energy goes two ways.

4. We think about quitting a lot. Behind closed doors, most ministers talk about moving on with regularity. The job is hard in a way that people who’ve never done it cannot understand. Not physically, or even mentally. But emotionally it can wreck you. I don’t fully understand why, although I have theories. But just know, when you’re choosing how to interact with her or him, that your pastor is probably hurting and tired and wishing s/he could quit. And that, in most cases, the only thing keeping him or her there is a sense of love and obligation to you. Be gentle, sensitive, and grateful for that.

5. We envy people who can be themselves. We wish we could cuss without it making headlines. We wish we could get drunk at a party, just once, without it resulting in an elders meeting. We wish we could be enthusiastic about a hobby without people raising their eyebrows about how much time and money we’re spending on it. We wish we could make angry political remarks on Facebook. You know, all the things that you feel free to do all the time. You want us to be human, but not too human. Believe me, we know. And it’s probably for the best that we are charged with setting a good example, it makes sense. But just know, we sometimes envy your freedom to just be yourself.

6. We are often spiritually starving. Probably the most closely guarded secret among pastors is how spiritually empty many of us are. Like a worker at the chocolate factory who no longer likes the taste of chocolate, or the prostitute who gets no pleasure from sex, we deal with spiritual matters so much that they often no longer have much meaning for us. Worship, for us, is a program that must be organized and executed. It’s work. It’s not forus. It’s for you. And then, when we’re not ‘on,’ often the last thing we want to do is something spiritual. Because it reminds us of work. We can’t read the Bible without thinking of sermon ideas. We can’t pray without thinking of leading prayers. We can’t meet with other church people without talking shop. So we’d rather play golf, or watch TV, or anything else. Which ultimately leaves us empty. Not everyone, not always. But often.

7. We are sinful, no different than you. We don’t just think about sinning. We aren’t just tempted to sin. We commit sins. The same kind you do. Believe it. But also understand that this doesn’t make us less qualified to talk to you about sins, but more. If you’ve ever sat in the pew and heard a pastor rambling on about temptations and sin and thought, “Whatever, there’s no way she understands what I’m dealing with,” think again. It’s very likely that she does, first hand. And that what she’s saying comes from her own life, not just from a book.

8. We are lonely, because it’s hard to trust. Pastors often have trust issues. As well they should. All pastors have heard stories about Reverend So-and-so who confided in someone in his church about his addiction to whatever, only to have that person tell the elders about it, which ultimately got him fired. It happens. We know it does. So every time we interact with you, even if it’s in a prayer group or some very intimate setting, we’re not 100% open. We can’t afford to be. It’s not your fault, it’s not our fault, it’s just a bad system that doesn’t allow pastors to be as human as it should. You can’t fix that, but you can have understanding and compassion for the man or woman who loves and serves you week after week, who counsels you and hears your confessions, and yet often has nowhere to go to get the same healing and relief.

9. Ministry is a hard job. Sometimes it’s said as a joke, sometimes it’s said in anger, that ministers don’t work very hard. That it’s a cushy gig. If that were true I doubt I’d know so many ministers who have quit swearing never to return, including myself. The best way I can think to explain why ministry is hard is to compare it to being the parent of a young child. From the outside it might not look like a lot of ‘work,’ but from the inside it’s the most exhausting thing you’ll ever do. Because it’s not just about the amount of things you do, it’s the total emotional drain of it. It’s worrying all day every day about the people and programs you’re in charge of, being on call and not ever feeling really free to be away, feeling like you live in a fishbowl with hundreds of eyes watching you all the time and never really knowing what they are all thinking of you (unless they complain, which some of them do with regularity). It’s caring for people to the point that you have nothing left for your own family when you get home, yet expecting that they show a certain spiritually-put-together face to the church (because the church expects that). It’s often feeling empty, yet pretending to feel full. It’s presenting yourself and your work to hundreds of people, several times a week, for evaluation, and often getting no feedback except ‘constructive’ criticism. And after all of this, after years of this, it’s looking out at the people in your church and seeing little or no change. Ministry is very hard, albeit perhaps in a different way than your job is hard.

10. We are more sensitive than you probably think. Most ministers I know have one or two people in their congregations who send them stinky emails weekly, and another ten or fifteen who can be counted on to complain about things about once a month. Then of course there are handful of the angels, who hug and love and say encouraging things every week. But guess what. The people who complain are far more thorough and specific and persistent than those who encourage, and they are the voices that keep us up at night feeling bad about ourselves, wondering if we suck at this. Most ministers have skin that is way thinner than their congregants think it is. We have to be open and sensitive to you, because it’s you we are charged with caring for. This means that the things you say to us can reach far deeper inside than they could otherwise. If you need to criticize your minister for something, please just be aware of this. Tread carefully, and with a lot of love and appreciation for her vulnerability. We are not above correction. Nobody is. But please make the extra effort to wrap it in as much care as you can.

11. We care about you more than you can imagine. The best moments of being a pastor for me, by far, were the times the ministers would gather for staff meetings and talk about the week ahead. Did we discuss worship and youth outings and air conditioning and budgets? Sure, for maybe twenty minutes. And then for three hours we’d talk about the people we were serving, what’s going on in their lives, and how we might help them. I always wished the whole church could be in those meetings and just see how much these people care, how much their hearts break for them, how much time and emotional energy they spend wanting to help them. Those meetings are my most sacred memories of church, because those were the moments when I saw men and women who had every reason not to care, to phone it in, to even be resentful. And yet, in spite of all of it, at the end of every day, they still cared, sometimes to the point of tears. You might have no idea how much.

This post was written by Mark Love.  You can find the original post here:  http://marklovefurniture.com/blog/2013/07/06/eleven-things-you-might-not-understand-about-your-minister/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

0 Comments

Godly swearing

8/8/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Jesus said, "Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘Whoever swears by the temple, it is nothing; but whoever swears by the gold of the temple, he is obliged to perform it.’ Fools and blind! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that sanctifies the gold? And, ‘Whoever swears by the altar, it is nothing; but whoever swears by the gift that is on it, he is obliged to perform it.’ Fools and blind! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that sanctifies the gift? Therefore he who swears by the altar, swears by it and by all things on it. He who swears by the temple, swears by it and by Him who dwells in it. And he who swears by heaven, swears by the throne of God and by Him who sits on it."

The Pharisees didn’t place a lot of emphasis on saying what they mean. Instead they had developed what one commentator called “evasive swearing”. They divided oaths into two categories. Those they had to keep and those they didn’t necessarily have to keep. The way they divided these oaths depended on whether or not God’s name was involved. If the name of God was used in the oath, then it had to be kept no matter what. However if you managed to give an oath without using God’s name, well then you didn’t necessarily have to keep that oath.

The result of evasive swearing was that if someone swore by God’s name then he would keep that oath without fail. But if they swore by anything else he felt perfectly okay with breaking the oath if he wanted to. As you can imagine this led to people’s word being basically meaningless unless they had sworn in God’s name that they would do something. The way they figured this was that if they had sworn by God’s name then they had made God a partner in their oath and so they were bound to keep it. If they didn’t keep it not only had they broken their word but they had also insulted God. On the other hand if they didn’t use God’s name they didn’t break their word when they changed their minds and God really didn’t care since His name hadn’t been invoked in the oath.

This is the attitude that Jesus is taking to task in this passage. He tells them that they are only pretending to be people of integrity. They want to give the appearance of being truthful and honest people without all the hassle of having to actually be truthful and honest people. One great truth they failed to recognize is that our lives cannot be divided into the secular and the sacred. There is just our life and there is no part of our life that God is not a part of. There is not one standard of truthfulness at church, one with our friends and another at work. There is just one standard and its God’s standard. God’s standard is honesty.

It’s easy for us to look down on the religious leaders for their use of evasive swearing, but if we were to be honest we have our own methods of evasive swearing. Instead of swearing by the temple, we say things like…

“I’ll think about it.”

“Well, maybe.”

“I might do that.”

“We’ll see.”

“Let me check to see if I can.”

Or if we really want to sound pious we will say, “I’ll pray about that.”

Of course there are plenty of times when these are genuine answers and that is fine. In fact, the Bible tells us it’s wise not to be rash in giving our word. But there are just as many times when these are safe, non-committal answers that allow us time to think of good reasons why we can’t do whatever it is that has prompted this answer. It’s our own form of evasive swearing and our form of evasive swearing now is just as wrong as their form of evasive swearing was then.

In Psalm 101 David said, “I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.” What impact do you think it has on our kids when they see us use our own form of evasive swearing? What does it say to them when they see us give non-committal answers so that we can get out of something, or outright lie and then tell them, “Now, don’t you lie to me”? Or even worse, what does it say to them when we have them lie for us by saying something like, “Answer the phone and if it’s for me tell them I’m not here”? Integrity is not integrity unless it’s lived out at home. If we are going to be men and women of integrity we must be honest in our speech. We would all say that we value honesty, but do our actions and attitudes reflect this value?

God wants us to be honest in our speech. God wants us to keep our word. To be a man of integrity we must say what we mean and mean what we say.

This post was written by Rev Ross.  For the original post, go to:  http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/say-what-you-mean-and-mean-what-you-say/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

0 Comments

Appearances are important?

8/7/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Jesus said, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

One of the main things a Pharisee did was make sure he was ceremonially clean. It was very much a central part of their lifestyle. They almost went to absurd lengths to make sure they were ceremonially clean at all times. They went to great pains to make sure that outwardly they were clean, but there was a problem. They completely ignored what they were like on the inside. Outwardly they looked as saintly as can be, but inwardly they were as full of corruption and greed as any sinner.

They were nothing more than whitewashed tombs. Their appearance was beautiful to see, but inwardly they were as unclean as a tomb filled with corpses. Outwardly they looked like they were the pillars of righteousness. But it was just an act. That wasn’t who they were, that was just who they appeared to be.

One of the easiest traps for us to fall into is the trap of appearances. When we fall into this trap we do all that we can to appear righteous. We do all that we can to appear committed to Christ. We do all that we can to appear to be faithful and godly. But when you get below the surface you find that’s all it is, an appearance. It’s not really who we are. It’s just who we appear to be. When you get into the Bible you find that God isn’t as concerned about what we appear to be, as much as He is concerned about what we truly are.

God doesn’t want us to appear to be righteous. He wants us to truly be righteous.

God doesn’t want us to appear to be devoted to Him. He wants us to truly be devoted to Him.

God doesn’t want us to appear to be like Jesus. He wants us to truly be like Jesus.

God didn’t save us to appear to be anything. He saved us so that we could truly be something new.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)

Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:23-24 (NLT)


God didn’t save you to appear different. He saved you so that you could genuinely be different. Since this is the case, never settle for appearing different. Never settle for appearing righteous. Never settle for appearing devoted to Christ. Never settle for appearing anything. Appearances are deceiving and appearances are useless. What matters is what we truly are, not what we appear to be. Genuinely be what God saved you to be.

Think about in Psalm 101 where David said, “I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.” What impact do you think it has on our kids when we do all kinds of things to keep up appearances and yet do nothing because of what we truly are?

The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him. Proverbs 20:7 (NKJV)

There is great power in integrity to influence our children to truly be what God wants them to be. One of the things I realized early on as a dad and a pastor is that what I am at home will influence my children far greater than anything I say in church.

Day in and day out they will see if I am honest or if I appear honest. Day in and day out they will see if I am only worried about right actions or if I’m also working on right attitudes. Day in and day out they will see if I appear to be a man of God or if I truly am a man of God. And what they see in me will influence what they become. Refuse to fall into the trap of focusing on appearances. To be a man or woman of integrity you must genuinely be who you appear to be.



This post was written by Rev Ross.  For the original post, go to:  http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2013/08/02/focus-on-being-no-on-appearing/


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

0 Comments

Affair proofing your marriage

6/13/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
We've spent the last two days discussing how affairs happen and the fallout to having an affair.  Today, we will make a few pointers about fighting the temptation to stray from our marriages and families:

1.  Build the marriage relationship - Communication is the key here.  Staying in touch with each other's feelings, pressures and tensions will keep you focused on where your relationship needs work.  Caring enough to meet these mutual needs in your marriage will help make your relationship a meaningful one in which to be involved.  This kind of communication takes time.  Make time for each other.

2.  The affair process.  Read thru again the 12-step affair process.  Then read it with your spouse.  Come to mutual agreements about how to relate to the opposite sex.  The most important idea to remember is that all sin starts in the mind.  If we control it there, it cannot grow.  Turn your sexual fantasies toward your marriage.  Control your thoughts.  Pray for good dreams.  God will help you manage this sexual dimension in your life.

3.  Walk with God together.  Be regular in fellowship with Christians.  Be regular in worship.  Be regular in your devotional life.  Pray together as a couple.  Go to meetings for men at your church.  Men need to have a place where they can discuss openly and honestly with other men about the tensions and problems they encounter in life.  Find a place of ministry in your church.  Talk to your pastor, let him know your weaknesses and have him pray for you.  

4.  Count the cost.  It helps us to keep our heads in the real world if we think about the consequences of infidelity.  Think about how quickly your credibility and Christian witness would be compromised.  Don't think temptation will never happen to you.  No one is immune.  Think about the fact that sin grieves our Lord.  Think about how much it would hurt your wife, kids, parents, and in-laws.  Even though thinking of the consequences of our sin can help us resist temptation, we are only truly moral in a biblical sense when we refuse to sin primarily out of our love for God.

Our goal in developing moral character is to get to the place where we act faithfully and consistently simply because to do otherwise would bring harm to the person and cause of the God we love.

Only a real and lasting love for God will guard and buttress our fight against the enemy.  

This information is taken from TEMPTATIONS MEN FACE

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


0 Comments

Choosing a woman's honor

5/6/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
When living in Europe, I was on a business trip kilometers away from Karyn, my wife.  Several of us went to a restaurant to have a meal.  Over time, the group dwindled down to me, a female colleague and two other men.  One of the men was dropping hints on the female saying that he wanted to see if her hotel room was bigger than his, to see her dog that she had back in her room, and other "seemingly" innocuous things.  

I excused myself for a moment and as I stepped out of the bathroom to head back to the table, the woman was standing there at the door.  She told me, "I don't know if you've noticed but "George" is hitting on me.  I am really uncomfortable with him doing that.  Could you make sure that I am not alone with him?"  

She and I had become fairly good friends, we both had similar supervisory positions in the same company and I was kind of mentoring her since she was new to the position.  I said to her, "what would you like me to do?"  She responded, "when we  back to the hotel (we were all staying at the same hotel), could you walk me to my room?  That will discourage George and he will get the message I don't want him in my room."  

I had no reason to believe that she had designs for me, but being a male with a big ego, I was taken aback for a moment.  I had to make a decision.  Which is more important at this moment?  To respect and honor my female friend's request and risk people thinking I went to her room or choose to not be alone with her and avoid even the appearance of evil? 

Do I choose to walk her to her hotel room and risk rumor or do I not so as to avoid any gossip?  Do I choose to honor her or protect my reputation?  It should be noted that she apparently did not have designs for me, she was wanting me to help send a message to a man who was engaging in  sexual innuendo.  

So, why the tire? Let me use this tire to illustrate the decision-making model.*  Imagine at the center  is my desire to please God in all that I do.  That is the axle  of this model.  Now, imagine this tire divided into three parts.  Each part representing the three goals of Ironstrikes. All of these goals are admirable and God-honoring.  However, I was now faced with my personal integrity or honoring a woman , a choice between two good, yet seemingly conflicting goals.  

This tire, separated into three parts, the three goals, is constantly on the move.  For the tire to sit still and lay flat on one goal results in an out of balance tire.  It will become flat if it doesn't rotate.  At times, one goal is hitting the ground, at other times, another goal is in play.  So, in following this illustration, no goal has precedence over the other.  In making this decision, I had to keep those three goals in mind with full consideration of the axle, pleasing God, as the central basis.  Pleasing God is what these goals revolve around.  

I told my female friend that I would be glad to walk her back to her hotel room.  As we went back to the table to conclude the conversation, I was praying about my decision and asking God for His wisdom.  "Lord,  did I make the right decision?  Is honoring my friend's request more important at this moment than protecting my reputation?"  The answer came pretty clearly.  

Now, lest you think I'm crazy, no, I didn't hear God's audible voice.  I felt a calm, a real peace at this decision and then in my head, God spoke thru my thoughts, in my own voice I heard, "You do what is right and I will protect your reputation."   

We dismissed ourselves and I walked her back to her room.  It was about a 15-minute walk.  We got to the hallway that led to her room and she thanked me and went to her room.  I then went to my room and called Karyn letting her know what happened so if she heard any rumors, she would know the truth.  

So what do you think?  Did I make the right decision?  You may be thinking, "Dale sure made a big deal out of nothing."  Maybe I did, maybe not.  However, I learned how little things can become big things.  I'm hoping that my example encourages you to be sensitive to God's leading in your life.

* I am indebted to my parents who devised this decision-making model.  I have altered it here to fit this illustration.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


2 Comments

You never know what's on that street

4/22/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
We were visiting Amsterdam, exploring shops and the canals.  At one shop on the canal there were the most beautiful flowers you have ever seen.  It was a wonderful day. Everything was perfect.  We were walking hand-in-hand enjoying Amsterdam.  Kinda like two kids at a zoo.  Excitement.  Fun.  Happiness.

The next thing I know, Karyn says, "don't look right."  So, I put my right hand up to block my view.  Then she said, "don't look left."  So, I put up my left hand to block my view.  So, now, I am walking down this street on this beautiful day looking like a horse with blinders.  I said, "what's going on?"  Karyn said, "we've stumbled into the Red Light District."   I dropped my hands and looked around and yep, she was right.  There were some windows with scantily clad women beckoning us to come in.  We promptly turned around and left that street.

You ask, "how in the world didn't you know that you were entering the most famous Red Light District in the world?"  Well, it was still bright out, even though we didn't realize the sun was starting to descend.  If it had been dark, we would have seen the red lights warning us that we had wandered into "adult" territory.  

So, what does this story tell us about temptation?

Well, I was certainly glad that I had my wife with me.  She saw things up ahead that I hadn't noticed.  She loves me and wants to protect our marriage.  So, if you are doing something new, something you have never done before, it would be good to not be alone.  Because you never know what is on that street.

The person you take with you needs to be committed to holiness and purity.  S/he needs to be able to stop you when you start to go somewhere you shouldn't be going.  Because you never know what is on that street.

Temptation sneaks up on you when you least suspect.  We were having a great time.  Exploring Amsterdam, enjoying the sunshine and building memories.  Then, boom!  There it is.  Right in front of you.  Sometimes, we are lulled into complacency or feeling really good and then we are blindsided.  Temptation can come from anywhere.  You know why?

Because you never know what is on that street.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


0 Comments
<<Previous

    Rules for commenting:

    1.  Be respectful  
    2.  Refer to rule #1

    All comments may not be approved.

    Note that many identifying details about individuals in these posts are not accurate.  Their identity is protected, except for those individuals who are being honored or are public figures.

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Categories

    All
    Abortion
    Abraham
    Abstinence
    Abuse
    Accountability
    Adam
    Adam Yauch
    Addictions
    Admiration
    Adultery
    Affair
    Amos
    Angels
    Anger
    Anniversary
    Anoint
    Anonymous
    Anxiety
    Atheism
    Avoidant
    Bad Boy
    Battle
    Beastie Boys
    Beautiful
    Bestiality
    Betrayal
    Bird
    Blame
    Bobby Petrino
    Bondage
    Book Review
    Brian Head Welch
    Brothel
    B.T. Roberts
    Camping
    Cancer
    Challenge
    Change
    Chaotic
    Character
    Children
    Choice
    Christmas
    Church
    Church Camp
    Closed Door
    Compulsions
    Confession
    Confident
    Control
    Courage
    Covenant
    Creator
    Crown
    Crucifixion
    Darkness
    Death
    Deception
    Decision
    Demons
    Depression
    Detachment
    Devotions
    Dez Bryant
    Differences
    Dilemma
    Dirty
    Discipleship
    Disgusting
    Divorce
    Domestic Violence
    Domination
    Doubt
    Dreams
    Dr Hart8bb80a7b00
    Dwayne Allen
    Dysfunction
    Easter
    Eden
    Ego
    Eleazar
    Elitism
    Empty
    Envy
    Ephesians
    Equality
    Erectile Dysfunction
    Esau
    Eternity
    Euthanasia
    Evil
    Exhibitionism
    Eyes
    Facebook
    Faithfulness
    Fantasy
    Fasting
    Father
    Favorites
    Fear
    Fellatio
    Fighting
    Fishing
    Flashing
    Flattery
    Flesh
    Force
    Forgiveness
    Gentleman
    Girls Gone Wild
    G.K. Chesteron
    Goals
    God
    Good Friday
    Grace
    Gratitude
    Greek
    Guard
    Guilt
    Heart
    Heaven
    Hebrew
    Hell
    Henri Nouwen
    Histrionic
    Hogging
    Holiness
    Hollow
    Honesty
    Honor
    Hope
    Humility
    Humor
    Ichabod
    Idols
    Impurity
    Individuality
    Input
    Insane Clown Posse
    Integrity
    Intent
    Intimacy
    Isaac
    Islam
    Jack Schaap
    Jamaica
    Jealousy
    Jimmy Needham
    Job
    Joy
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    Judgmentalism
    Justice
    Kindness
    King David
    Kittens
    Komboloib7e292a311
    Korn
    Larry Norman
    Leave It To Beaver
    Lies
    Light
    Listening
    Loneliness
    Love
    Lust
    Lying
    Macho
    Manners
    Marriage
    Masculinity
    Masturbation
    Maturity
    Mca
    Meditation
    Messianic
    Meticulous
    Mighty
    Missions
    Money
    Monogamy
    Moses
    Motivations
    Movies
    Music
    Normal
    Obedience
    Obscenity
    Open Door
    Parenting
    Passiveaggressive2ed940c88b
    Pastor
    Path
    Perfection
    Personality Disorders
    P.O.D.
    Politics
    Pornography
    Pornograpy
    Power
    Practical
    Prayer
    Predator
    Prejudice
    Premature Ejaculaton
    Preparation
    Pride
    Problems
    Promises
    Protection
    Providence
    Purity
    Quechua
    Quiz
    Racism
    Regret
    Religious
    Repentance
    Reputation
    Research
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Rest
    Resurrection
    Revival
    Righteousness
    Robots
    Roughhousing
    Routine
    Rules
    Rut
    Sabbath
    Sacrifice
    Sadism
    Salvation
    Sanctification
    Satisfaction
    Selfishness
    Self Love
    Self-love
    Service
    Sex
    Sexism
    Sexuality
    Sexual Response
    Sexual Response
    Shame
    Sin
    Singing
    Snobbery
    Soldier
    Sovereignty
    Stalking
    Stephen Hawking
    Step-parenting
    Strong
    Success
    Succubus
    Suicide
    Swearing
    Sword
    Teenagers
    Temper
    Temptation
    Tenth Ave North
    Testing
    Theology
    Thinking
    Thomas Cogswell Upham
    Tim Tebow
    Tournament Male
    Tradition
    Trafficking
    Trapped
    Trauma
    Triggers
    Trust
    Truth
    U2
    Uncle Buddy
    Unity
    Violence
    Virtue
    Vulnerability
    Warrior
    Watchman Nee
    Waywardness
    What Is A Man
    Women
    Worry
    Worship
    Wussification
    Year In Review
    Zombies

    Archives

    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

IRONSTRIKES

Men Forging Men