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Top Ten Aprils Fool's pranks to pull on your kids

3/31/2014

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This is a collection of great ideas for April Fools' pranks for dads to play on their kids. Take one and get prepared for April 1. 

1. Hide the cell phone.  Get up a bit earlier than your child and take her cell phone and tape it underneath their chair at the kitchen table.  Then, when they are eating breakfast, call their cell phone and watch the reaction.  They will look everywhere for that phone and will not think of looking under the ktichen chair!

2. Empty the drawers and closets.  Once again, a middle of the night trick is to tiptoe into the bedroom and remova all the clothes from the kids' closets and dressers and stash them away somewhere.  When they  try to find their clothes, pretend that you don't know what is going on.  But don't carry it so far that they are late for school!

3. Dye the milk a weird color.  If your kids enjoy having a glass of milk for breakfast or pouring it on cold cereal in the morning, dye the milk the night before a color like red, green, yellow or blue the night before.  A little food coloring will work well, or you might use the coloring that bakers use for cake frosting to get an even deeper color.

4. Glue coins to the sidewalk.  This is a favorite of my brother-in-law.  A few years ago, he got some coins and superglued them to the concrete sidewalk in front of the house, right where the kids walked on their way to school.  Of course, they tried to pick them up off the sidewalk but found the task to be impossible.  It was totally fun to watch them try to figure out what had happened and why the coins just sat there.  Then they waited for their friends to come along and played the same prank on them.

5. Set the alarm clocks ahead an hour.  This one takes a bit of advanced planning.  Stay up a bit later or set your own alarm clock for about 3:00 a.m. and then set all the alarm clocks, cell phones, iPods and other electronic time keepers ahead an hour.  Therefore, when the alarm clocks ring, they will ring an hour before they should.  Then surprise the kids with your plan to go out to breakfast before school since they are all up so early!

6. Swap beds.  This prank only will work if your kids are sound sleepers.  One dad I know last year got up in the middle of the night and carried each of his kids out of their beds and put them into another kid's bed so when they woke up in the morning, they were all in the wrong beds.  He said it was pretty funny when they came wandering into his room wondering how they ended up in the wrong spot during the night.

7. The old fake food trick.  A friend of mine stopped by the toy store and picked up a bag of the toy, plastic food that sometimes little girls use in their play kitchens.  Little plastic fruits, fake fried eggs, and miniature meat patties are usually in such kits.  Then, on the morning of April 1, he invited his kids downstairs to "breakfast" made of these plastic foods.  They looked realistic enough on the plates to his sleepy-eyed children and when they started to eat, they discovered the prank.

8. Falling balls.  This is another good one to do before breakfast.  Gather up all the balls in the house.  Big ones and small ones, but just not heavy ones like golf balls.  Then load them into the cupboard where you keep bowls or cereal - one the kids will open at breakfast time.  When they open the cupboard door, they will be reallt surprised!

9. The frozen cereal trick.  This is another breakfast trick for April Fools Day.  The night before, put cereal and milk into a bowl and fill it about half full.  Then freeze it overnight.  In the morning, get it out of the freezer and fill it the rest of the way with cereal and milk.  your child will get quite a surprise when he or she tries to eat it in the morning.

10. Fill it up.  For the older kids, filling up a locker or a car interior with balloons is an awesome prank.  Try it at school while they are in class.  They will know that you love them!

This post is from fatherhood.about.com  



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Sunday Meditation

3/30/2014

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And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Sometimes it feels like our hearts are breaking.

And sometimes we worry that we will lose our minds.

Both our hearts and our minds need protection.


When we let go of the defenses that have protected us for so long, and we allow ourselves to be honest and vulnerable, it sometimes feels like we will 'come apart'. In these moments can find courage in God's promise of protection. God's peace can guard our breaking hearts and our troubled minds.

Notice that God's guardianship of our heart and mind is 'in Christ Jesus'. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God is 'for' us. God can be trusted to guard us because God cares about us. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God understands the dangers to our hearts and minds. God can be trusted to guard us because God knows from personal experience the dangers we face. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly God's power. God can be trusted to guard our hearts and minds because God has the resources to do what needs to be done.

The peace of God is not a 'blissed out' euphoria that helps us minimize or ignore our problems. God's peace does not participate in denial. This peace is not another Novocain, another 'fix' to alter our mood. It is the gentle guard that protects us so that we can face reality. It is the security that comes from knowing that God pays attention, that we are not forgotten, that God is with us, that we are loved.

Guard my breaking heart today, Lord.
Guard my troubled mind.
Let your peace do its work in me, Lord.
because I am in danger and I need your protection.
Guard me with your peace today.
Guard my heart and mind.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

National Association for Christian Recovery

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True identity

3/29/2014

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. . . and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free — John 8:32

 We cannot mature in our faith without community. We simply cannot. The process of maturing isn’t simple, isn’t smooth. It’s one of getting off track and getting on again--again and again. We need help with that. We’re designed to be together. We’re built to need each other. To “grow up healthy in God, robust in love” we need community (Ephesians 4:14-16 MSG).

 To help, though, our communities must actually be capable of picking us up and getting us on track, and encouraging us on. Our communities must be places where we’re willing to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Speaking that way requires moving beyond simply being polite to one another--and ever ignoring or excusing sin. It also requires moving beyond just pointing out sin or shortcomings or what bothers us or what we think might bother God.

 Speaking the truth in love doesn’t require us to call each other out. It requires us to call each other in--into true identity. It requires us to call each other away from sin (e.g., “you don’t need to do that anymore . . .”) and into the identities God had in mind when he designed us, built us, and set us in motion (“. . . because this is who you really are”).

Okay, so what do we do?

 Do you have a sense for the true identities of your brothers in community? Get serious about learning. Get intentional about allowing God to show you. When you meet next, have each man bring a favorite story or verse from Scripture. Read them. Talk about them. They’ll point to something true. If a man loves the story of Caleb, for example, it’s likely he’s designed and built to be brave and bold and faithful like Caleb. And his community must help him do just that.



Copyright © 2013 Gather Ministries, All rights reserved.

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Back to the garden

3/28/2014

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The serpent nestled comfortably in the  elbow of a thick branch on the beautiful tree at the center of the garden. He rested as he waited for the inevitable confrontation between he and the woman (as it was called). The serpent had an agenda and wanted to give the appointed stewards of the garden a taste of what rebellion is really like.

These humans, as they were called, seemed to be cherished by the tyrant (as he saw it) above any other being. He wanted to change that. There was something invigorating about saying no to a system that seemed to be so controlling and provided no immediate reward for obedience.

On the other side of the large garden, the Creator Father spent time enjoying His creation…these new earth stewards; humans. Adam and Eve were such great companions and each day they spent time with the Father they felt more energetic and fulfilled. The time together was filled with laughter, rough housing, and pure joy…as if this Father was not only an authority but a friend. Neither one wanted the times together to end.

Adam and Eve wandered to the center of the garden one day, and found the serpent resting in the tree. The sinister creature was taking a nap, but awoke when the woman approached. As he spoke, he made the forbidden fruit seem so appealing, and even though the Father told them they should never eat it, they took a bite. It seemed so harmless, and the chemical make up of the food probably was safe, but this was a life lesson they needed to embrace. So…fast forward…the humans were thrown out of the garden and the relationship between them and the Father was damaged. Trust was lost and their times together were forever defined by shame.

When we read the Bible we see story after story that describes a deep desire God has for us. He wants to repair the relationship He has with humanity to revert it back to the joy once found in the garden. He created us to be the beings that interacted with Him in this way. We operate best at this level. Whether it be stories of God’s wrath or compassionate mercy…we see God wooing His creation back to himself. He went to great lengths to execute a plan to get them back…because He is driven by love.

Why do we fight this? I can tell you why…because we have tasted rebellion and it is temporarily pleasant. We think we were created to find happiness at any cost, and abandon truth when our reward is not immediately visible. Some generation needs to stand up and walk away from the serpent’s influence. Could it be us? Let’s try.



This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  For his original post, go to his blog at:  http://other-words.net/2014/03/21/back-to-the-garden/



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Does a Rigid View of God Cause Problems?

3/27/2014

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Can you smoke and drink and still express allegiance to Christ?

Is church attendance necessary to the definition of “being like Christ?”

If you are a Christian, is it wrong to have more possessions than the poorest person in your community?

If a Christian commits suicide, will he/she go to hell?

Ask these questions to 10 different Christ followers and you might get 10 different answers, with each person convinced their view is correct. Fighting over questions such as these have caused divisions between friends and even church communities.

Especially in theology and worldview, Christians have the tendency to see things as black and white only. This causes us to draw lines of separation from those who believe differently. We make camp with those who think similarly and we wage wars against those who think differently. Every now and then, we will try to come up with a peace treaty. This is quickly abandoned, though, out of stubbornness with a dash of arrogance.

I do believe some things are black and white. One cannot read the Bible and not come to that conclusion. However, there are also things that aren’t so clearly laid out in the Bible. I wish everything were black and white, but it isn’t always so simple.

The Bible is as messy as it is neat. There are moments that God is very clear and then there are other moments that there is uncertainty on how to interpret a passage. There are moments when all of Christendom can unite on a topic and then there are moments that we divide because of different views. In 2008, there was an estimated 39,000 Christian denominations worldwide. By 2025, it is estimated that there will be 55,000 Christian denominations worldwide. Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary estimated that there is a new Christian denomination formed every 12 hours.

If it is all black and white, why is a new denomination forming every 12 hours? Within the 40,000 denominations (my estimate) that exist today, there are probably still divisions among what to believe about certain issues. Christendom is a mess. We have made finding Christ the most impossible maze.

The issue with an exclusively black and white theology is just this: the lines that we draw create a maze that makes finding Jesus impossible. We have Jesus at the center, but we haven’t put Him at the beginning. Instead of teaching people to walk with Jesus through difficult texts, beliefs and theologies, we teach them to go searching for the answers to all the side issues on their own in hopes of finding Jesus somewhere down the road. This causes confusion and frustration among people when they can’t seem to find Him. Exhausted, they give up or they create some version of Jesus that they think best fits their life. Then we have new churches popping up just because they want to do worship, preaching, community, mission and sacraments differently.

There is one, central truth that we should all agree upon: Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God and through his life, death, burial and resurrection, God is reconciling the world to Himself. If you’re like me, you probably might think this is a good belief, but what do we do when we disagree with someone on something other than this? Here are some steps I think would be beneficial:

Seek conversations rather than debates. 
 If there is anything we can learn from the Ken Ham and Bill Nye debate, it is that debates really solve nothing. Each side walks away more convinced about why they are right and why the other side is wrong.

Conversations ask open-ended questions rather than questions that cause a forced answer. Conversations seek to listen rather than give a rebuttal.

Pray “I in them and You in Me, may they be brought to complete unity” 
This is a prayer found in John 17 that I pray almost daily. It is a reminder that above all else, I need to seek unity in everything I do. Anytime I want to pick a fight with someone I see as crazier than me, I ask myself, “is this going to lead to unity?” Ask yourself that question before you decide to engage in a war with someone (under Christendom) who believes differently than you.

Operate from humility, not from expertise
.  As a Bible college student, most of the time I want to begin my answers with “let me tell you why you’re wrong.” I feel that because I have a four-year degree in Bible, that I am an expert that everyone needs to listen to.

But pursuit of truth never means that one has to be arrogant in beliefs. In reality, none of us are experts when it comes to God. We cannot get to a level where we know God enough to consider ourselves experts. So it is best to operate from humility; from a stance of “I could be wrong…”

I hope grace works. I hope that it covers what we get wrong. Even more, I hope that grace covers what we thought we got right. Because if it doesn't, we're all in big trouble.

It’s fine to discuss, but we need to consider if we’re really honoring God when we argue to the point of division. Life would be better if we stopped saying "I'm right." Life would be better if we stopped saying, "God told me this is the way it should be," or "from my studies, this is what I think we should believe on this issue." Because what happens if we are wrong on those side issues? What happens if the person who believes opposite of us is right? Maybe we are the ones that need to be changed and God is trying to use them to change us? Stop trying to martyr yourself on something that is not essential to the core message of the Gospel.

So if you find yourself arguing in an unhealthy way with a Christian brother or sister who believes differently than you do—someone who smokes, is divorced, supports gay marriage, is a democrat, speaks in tongues or whatever else—maybe you should just say “You still believe in the Christ? Let’s talk about the other things.”


Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/church/problem-rigid-view-god#HzezhGbPMc5c6Zwd.99



BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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You don't need a sword

3/26/2014

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Do you want power?  Consider the power that Jesus had available to Him:  "Don't you think that I could call on my Father to send more than twelve legions of angels to help me now?"  What does that mean?  Let's put this in mathematical terms for all you geeks out there.

It is generally considered that in the Roman Empire, a legion was 6,000 soldiers. In Isaiah 37:36, a single angel obliterated 185,000 men.  

I think you know where I am going, but let me do the math for you...  

If a single angel can take care of 185,000 men, then the combined strength of one legion would be enough to destroy 1, 110, 000,000 (one billion, one hundred ten million) men.  That is just ONE legion!

Now Jesus said that he had more than 12 legions of angels at his disposal.  That is at least 72,000 angels.  So the combined strength at Jesus' command was the ability to annihilate 13,320,000,000 (thirteen billion, three hundred twenty million) men.  BTW - The current earth population is a little over seven billion.

That is the kind of physical strength that Jesus has available to him.  No wonder he told Peter to put away his sword.  Jesus did not need Peter's little sword that night.  That means that Jesus willingly gave Himself to be crucified.

Let's learn a lesson from Peter and Jesus here.

As you face your own challenges in life, always keep in mind that Jesus has the power to fix any problem you'll ever come across.  Before you jump in and make things worse by taking matters into your own hands, remember Peter.  

The next time you're tempted to "grab a sword and start swinging,"  take a few minutes to remind yourself that Jesus can handle the problem without your intervention.  Before you do anything else, pray and ask the Lord what you are supposed to do.  Then after you receive your answer and follow His instructions, just watch His supernatural power swing into action to solve the dilemma you are facing!!

Taken from Sparkling Gems from the Greek

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.




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Using the sword

3/25/2014

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There is a fascinating bit of story told of one of David's mighty men.  One day there was a sudden attack upon the camp by the Philistines when the fighting men were all away.  This man, Eleazar, alone was there.  

The Philistines were the traditional enemy.  The very word "Philistines" was one to strike terror to the Hebrew heart.  But this man was reckoned one of the first three of David's mighty men because of his conduct that day.  

Eleazar quietly, quickly gripped his sword and fought the enemy single-handedly.  Up and down, left and right, hip and thigh he smote with such terrific earnestness and drive that the enemy turned and fled.  

We are also told that the muscles of his hand became so rigid around the handle of his sword that he could not tell by the feeling where his hand stopped and the sword began.  Man and Sword were one that day in the action of service against the nation's enemy.  

When we so absorb this Book (The Sword) and the Spirit of Him who is its life that people cannot tell the line of division between the man and the God within the man, then shall we have the mightiest power as God's intercessors in defeating the foe.  God and man will be as one in the action of service against the enemy.

This illustration is taken from Quiet Talks on Prayer by S.D. Gordon

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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God uses moral power, not force

3/24/2014

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"The only sort of power that influences in the spirit realm is moral power. By which is not meant goodness, but that sort of power either bad or good which is not of a physical sort: that higher, infinitely higher and greater power than the mere physical. Moral power is the opposite of violent or physical power.

God does not use force, violent physical force. There are some exceptions to this statement. There have been righteous wars, righteous on one side. Turning to the Bible record, in emergencies, in extreme instances God has ordered war measures. The nations that Israel was told to remove by death of war would have inevitably worn themselves out through their physical excesses, and disobedience of the laws of life. But a wide view of the area revealed an emergency which demanded a speedier movement. And as an exception, for the sake of His plan for the ultimate saving of a race, and a world, God gave an extermination order. The emergency makes the exception. There is one circumstance under which the taking of a human life is right, namely, when it can be clearly established that God, the giver and sovereign of life, has so directed. But the rule clearly is that God does not use force.

But note sharply in contrast with this that physical force is one of Satan's chief weapons. But mark there two intensely interesting facts: first, he can use it only as he secures man as his ally, and uses it through him. And second, in using it he has with great subtlety sought to shift the sphere of action. He knows that in the sphere of spirit, force pure and simple, he is at a disadvantage: indeed, worse yet, he is defeated. For there is a moral force on the other side greater than any at his command. The forces of purity and righteousness he simplycannot withstand. Jesus is the personification of purity and righteousness.  It was on this moral ground, in this spirit sphere that He won the great victory. He ran a terrific gauntlet of tests, subtle and fierce, through those human years, and came out victor with His purity and righteousness unstained."

This section is quoted from the book, QUIET TALKS ON PRAYER by S.D. Gordon.



BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

3/23/2014

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He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.  Isaiah 40:11

The Almighty God, Creator of heaven and earth, is pictured many times in the Bible as a Shepherd God. This may not be shocking to modern readers - most of us don't know much about sheep herding beyond the few sentimental ideas we may have about rural life. But nothing was more ordinary in biblical times than sheep herding. It was a dirty job. It was a low prestige job. A shepherd lived with his sheep. Day and night he was with them, paying attention to their needs, providing protection, and guiding them.

For the little ones in the flock, the most vulnerable ones, there was often a need for individual care and attention. In times of special need or danger, the shepherd would seek them out, lift them into his arms and carry them close to his heart.

This is how God cares for us. God is a God of gentleness, of tender affection, of protection, and of nurture. Our God is a Shepherd God. When we feel afraid or vulnerable, God is aware of our need. We are gathered into God's arms. We are carried close to God's heart.

I am your lamb, Lord
The wolves are not far off.
Pick me up and hold me in your arms.
Carry me close to your heart.
Allow me to experience the mystery of being held by your loving arms.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

National Association for Christian Recovery


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Be still....and quickly

3/22/2014

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“Sir…sir…SIR!!!” The lady behind me knocked me out of my trance as I stood staring off into space and daydreaming. I was standing in line at the grocery store, and the lady (who worked there) addressed me one more time. “Sir….you can use the ‘self check out’ lane to get through the line faster. There is no one over there so you can get right through.” I politely declined and told her that I do not mind waiting. I wasn’t in a hurry, and I could tell that the gentleman in front of me was not going to take long to check out.

When I told the lady that I can just wait, she gave me a very odd look. The look almost seemed to imply that she was surprised that I did not want to get through the line faster. I figured…I only had a bag of chips to buy so why do I need to rush? At that same moment, I looked up and, for the first time noticed the people around me who were at this store for the same reason. Every one of them seemed to be in a hurry and most of them strategically placed themselves in the shortest lines to get out of the store in the fastest time possible. Everyone had something to do and somewhere to be…and for some reason I felt as if God gave me the opportunity to see everything in slow motion…as if I were observing from the outside.

Where are we going? Many of us don’t know the answer to this question, but we all know we need to get their quickly. How many of us have the courage to simply stop and obey God’s command to “Be still and know that I am God”? I think slowing down and truly observing the world around you should be a Biblical spiritual discipline. When I die, I am going to start a petition in Heaven to make it official. It may be that we are afraid to slow down because we think that the world will move ahead of us, and we will be left behind. Maybe that’s what we need….to allow the world to leave us behind, and for us to separate ourselves from the drama, expectations, and activity of false living. By false living, I mean the type of life the world values as important.

Slow down…..take time to breathe and observe. In the midst of slowing down, God may want to tell you something. You know, the same God we assume doesn’t speak to people anymore? Yes…that God. Perhaps he is waiting for us to shut up and listen.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  For the original post, go to:  http://other-words.net/2014/03/18/be-still-quickly/



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