Category: Money

My little plastic god

2/10/2016

We had just returned from being on the mission field. It didn't turn out as positively as we had hoped (see: When something turns on you, you kill it). It was a wonderful time and full of many positive experiences, new friendships and outstanding cultural opportunities.

However, it ended a year earlier than we had anticipated.

I received a call from a mennonite psychologist while we were in Ecuador. He called and asked me to work for him, back at the same area where we had left. So, that meant that we could go back to our sending church. Yet, I fell into somewhat of a depression and had many doubts about whether I had heard God accurately about being a missionary.

So, there was depression in my life. There was also pride. I didn't want people thinking that we "couldn't make it" as missionaries. I also was angry with God for "putting us through" this experience as His call to go to Ecuador seemed so clear.

That's when a little plastic god entered my life.

Upon coming home, and being employed, we started to get credit card offers in the mail. We really did not believe in debt but with my depression, pride, and anger, I felt justified in using a credit card to get my family what they needed. We moved back home without any belongings except for what was in our suitcases. My thinking was, "we gave everything up for this call that God placed on our lives, and He didn't come through; therefore, I'm gonna have to do this myself."

Do you see the mistakes in my thinking there? GOD DIDN'T COME THRU (lack of trust) and I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS MYSELF (self-sufficiency).

What's ironic though was that I wasn't self-sufficient. I was, instead, relying on a god made of plastic: Need a couch? Have the plastic god pay for it. Wanna go out to eat? Have the plastic god pay for it.

Did you know that "plastic" and "god" mean roughly the same thing? Plastic means, "false or superficial." Little "g" god mean "fake, not real, an idol. Something made with human hands." Jeremiah 10:5 says, "Like a scarecrow in a cucumber field, their idols cannot speak; they must be carried because they cannot walk."

My little plastic god couldn't speak or walk but I certainly became its servant. Proverbs 22:7b reminds us, "the borrower is servant to the lender." Moreover, by relying on my little plastic god, I was squeezing God out of my life. I was also squeezing myself out of opportunities for God to bless and care for me and my family.

My first thought could have been, "God we need a couch. We are counting on you to provide this for us."

Instead, my first thought was, "I can pay for that with my credit card and pay the bill over time."

For me, that was where the problem came. I learned to trust a piece of plastic rather than the God who made the universe who has all the resources I need.

James 4:2b is very clear, "You do not have because you do not ask God."

Over time, I came to see that I was not trusting God. However, it was too late. The card was maxed out. So, that meant that we had a long road to pay off this card.

As we came to the closing payoff, God drove the point home...

I called the credit card company to get a payoff. They told me the amount, and I put a check in the mail the next day. Well, a month later, we got a little surprise from the credit card company. We got another bill. Evidently, there was interest accrued between the time we were told the payoff and the time they received the payoff.

God was saying, "now that I got your attention, you will never be free unless you trust Me. Remember this."

So, we paid the interest and we were finally free from my little plastic god. Thank God.

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The Valley

8/30/2014

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As I sit and write this blog post today, I can’t help but experience a variety of emotions. I have a hidden discouragement that is covered by a smile, but secretly I am in pain. I am in a valley. You may have been where I am as well. If you know me very well, you may now know that I lost my day job this week.

Before you get upset at the company for letting me go, let me be very clear…the company I worked for was amazing in every sense of the word. I was good at what I did, but there were a few functions of the job that I simply was not wired for. As a result, they asked me to leave. I have never been terminated before, so you can imagine the feelings that were flooding my brain and heart during this conversation.

The good thing is…my relationship with the leadership of my former place of employment is fully in tact, and there is no hard feelings. In fact, during the final meeting I had with my employers, we prayed together and cried. It was a decision that I think they needed to make and it will better the company.

I am a bivocational pastor, so losing my full time job was quite the hit. When the words were spoken, my heart sank. Immediately I began to think about providing for my family and the malnourished bank account we already had. I was mad at God, and wondered how He could let this happen. I cried, and thought I was all alone. I felt worthless. I felt shame. I felt embarrassed. Not only was I in a deep valley…but it was a big valley.

When I walked out of my place of employment for the last time, I made a promise to myself and to God. I promised that I would be open and transparent about the physical and emotional journey I was on; from the very moment I was let go. It is a hard promise to keep. I am doing this, because I think there are many people who are going through (or have gone through) this situation and wonder if the thoughts they are having are normal, and if the struggle they have is appropriate. You are not alone. Like I said…I am in a valley. You have been in this valley too. Many times. You may have not lost a job, but you have lost a loved one or wondered where the next dollar was coming from.

The valley is an interesting place to be. As humans, we avoid the situations that lead us to this point, but we can all honestly say we know the feeling well. While going through times that make us feel pain, all we want to do is get away and make the hurting stop. We want to do this, because we are afraid that it will never end. Sometimes, we lose our hope and don’t know where to turn. And, when we are being led through the valley, all we can do is look up to the mountaintops and long to be there with the people that have smiles plastered on their faces.

Why does God allow us to be in the valley? As I have waded through a knee-deep pile of confusion and pain, I think I may have figured something out about this mystery. As I have reflected on this illustration, I have realized that water does not stay on the mountain peaks, but always funnels down crevices and declines until it empties into the vast depths of the valley.

I think this is how God’s grace works. Sometimes, we experience a more powerful display of the living water when we are going through the lowest points in our journey. Even if you are at your lowest point…I can tell you it is about to rain. Look up and receive the water. Grace is coming.

All I can do at this point is look up and praise my God…and expect miracles. I am at peace.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2014/08/21/the-valley/

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Filthy Rich

7/5/2014

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But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2: 4-7

Have you ever wanted to be rich? I mean, filthy rich? We have heard this phrase so many times, and I don’t know about you but, when I hear this phrase, I picture Scrooge McDuck (remember Ducktales?) swimming in a giant silo filled with coins. Many of us wouldn’t mind never having to worry about bills, and having enough left over to indulge our desires…within reason.

The Bible is very clear about this attitude. We can gather all of the material stuff possible, and the blessing that would result would not even compare to the value we find in a relationship with Christ. Also, we can read that all of the righteousness we can produce is like “filthy rags” to God…because a life lived independently of God’s resourcing is a life that is severely lacking in momentum.

So, when we read this excerpt there is something shocking that jumps off the page. Considering the deep deficit we begin with…the rejection of God, the disobedience, and overall spiritual infidelity, it is amazing to see that an acceptance of God’s mercy and salvation is an act that completely fills this void. It not only fills this void, but there is so much overflow the apostle Paul describes the amount as “incomparable”. This means that there is no quantity of any other substance that can equally be compared to this resource.

It is a relaxing thing to know that God loves us so much that we have immediate and continuous access to this abundance. Not only that, but it is relaxing to know that it is okay to accept it. I know that sounds crazy, but I think there are many people who have a barrier up when it comes to accepting God because they feel so terrible about their past. They feel they should be disqualified from grace, and misery is a punishment well suited for their sorrow.

God is offering His riches to you. More than you could ever imagine. It is okay to be free.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. You can find the original post here: http://other-words.net/2014/06/23/filthy-rich-monday-musings/

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Trusting

5/3/2014

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Disclaimer: The following blog post is not meant to shame others or boast, but when God brings about a miracle it is usually for the purpose of encouraging others.

Money, for some reason, is a hard subject to talk about…especially in a church setting as a pastor. When pastors talk about finances many automatically assume they are doing so for the purpose of increasing revenue for the church. In the same vein, it is hard to talk about giving because people may start to make personal comparisons and feel ashamed about their own giving history…perhaps the money is extremely tight and God has not dealt with you in this area. That’s okay…but…brothers and sisters, I urge you to not overlook the purity of what I am saying and thus miss the point. We are not talking about a salvation issue here. So, are we good? Okay, good. Here we go.

At the beginning of this month, my wife and I had “the talk”. You have been there at some point. This talk was one that centered around finances. The outcome was meager for us to say the least. My wife had added up the bills and the projected income and we were going to be behind. We realized that, if we did not buy groceries this month, we would still be “in the red”. It was a nauseating feeling…to know there was nothing we could do short of selling a kidney on the black market to break even. The most frustrating thing about this is the fact that we are really wise with what we spend. We are not extravagant spenders and our lifestyle is very simple. Where was God? This was an honest question that we had, and that anyone would natually have in this situation.

We began to brainstorm about ways we could cut back in order to make it. Next month was going to be better, we knew that, so if we could do something to get ahead that would be very helpful. As we tossed around ideas we thought maybe we could cut back on our weekly giving at church. I mean…God has only asked us to give 10 percent, so maybe he would understand if we adjusted our giving to make that our new goal. In the midst of this conversation, God reminded me of similar situations in the past in which He worked out these kind of details. I remembered being a newly married youth pastor and spending more on gas than I was making at my first church assignment. I remember the time when we gave what we had to help a friend and a random check came in the mail from a reimbursement we were not expecting. So, we had a history with God in these scenerios. A long history.

Cutting down on giving made sense, but it also made me think. I couldn’t imagine that God would be sitting on His throne saying, “Okay, you really need to stop giving as much…I can’t keep up.” So, we decided to carry on, and simply trust. It was so hard to do. Even though I preach about it regularly. I suppose I am a normal hypocrite like everyone else in that regard.

We had such a peace about the coming month. Our minds shifted from asking “where is God?” to “I can’t wait to see what He will do.” The result was amazing. We saw blessing after blessing. Reimbursement checks we were not expecting, savings on things we didn’t account for, and a generous gift from a sister church that we did not know was coming. All of these things, together, added up to a month of abundance…and by abundance, I mean paying all the bills with a little bit left to get ahead for next month. We attributed it to allowing God to work in our thought process.

Odds are you have stories like this…and odds are you frequently forget about them like I do.

I tell this story simply to say this… God wants to show off. Let Him do so.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2014/04/26/carry-on-and-trust/

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Making heaven your goal

12/2/2013

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It was kind of a surreal experience.... We had just arrived at our mission in Quito and here I was less than 48 hours later standing at the graveside of a man I didn't know and hadn't even met.

I watched as the gravedigger dug the grave by hand. He would occasionally stop and put his chin on top of the shovel and seem interested in what was going on as he rested. There was hardly anybody there. Just the man's wife, a couple of other people, the pastor, myself and the Ecuadorian gravedigger. Being one of the few English speaking churches in town, the widow called the pastor with whom I served on staff and asked that he do the funeral. I was there as support.

The story of this man's life ended sadly. He was a very successful American businessman who had visited Ecuador frequently and ended up buying some lucrative property in Quito so that he could retire. He had quite a nest egg. His goal in life was to retire with his wife at this property in Quito and live a life of ease and luxury.

What was interesting was that this man and his wife arrived in Quito about the same time my wife and I had arrived. We may have even been on the same airplane. What he hadn't considered, as he grew older, was that his health wasn't as good as it had been in the past. Quito has an elevation of over 9,000 feet (btw - Denver has an elevation of just over 5,000 feet) above sea level. People who visit Quito often come down with Soroche (altitude sickness). The symptoms are very similar to carbon monoxide poisoning. The stress of the Soroche that he was experiencing taxed his body and his heart stopped working.

So, here we have a man who saved his whole life, gathered quite a bit of money and bought some nice property in Quito so that he could retire, and within 48 hours of achieving his goal, he died. From what his wife described, it also appeared that he died without knowing Jesus as his Savior.

Jesus talked about this. He said, "Now what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your soul?"

Jesus, who taught a parable about a man who amassed fortune and trusted in himself, said, "You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?"

Having a goal is not bad in and of itself. However, if your goal excludes God and is just to please yourself, know that you may never reach it. If you do, it won't last forever.

Everyone dies.

Then there is reward or payment.

Yet, if you have a goal and it includes God and pleasing Him, you WILL reach it.

"Don't store up treasure on earth..."

Make heaven your goal.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN

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Church solidarity

11/7/2013

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When we claim our own poverty and connect our poverty with the poverty of our brothers and sisters, we become the Church of the poor, which is the Church of Jesus. Solidarity is essential for the Church of the poor . Both pain and joy must be shared. As one body we will experience deeply one another's agonies as well as one another's ecstasies. As Paul says: "If one part is hurt, all the parts share its pain. And if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy" (1 Corinthians 12:26).

Often we might prefer not to be part of the body because it makes us feel the pain of others so intensely. Every time we love others deeply we feel their pain deeply. However, joy is hidden in the pain. When we share the pain we also will share the joy.

This post was written by Henri Nouwen: http://www.henrinouwen.org

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Preventing corruption in the church

11/6/2013

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Like every human organization the Church is constantly in danger of corruption. As soon as power and wealth come to the Church, manipulation, exploitation, misuse of influence, and outright corruption are not far away.

How do we prevent corruption in the Church? The answer is clear: by focusing on the poor. The poor make the Church faithful to its vocation. When the Church is no longer a church for the poor, it loses its spiritual identity. It gets caught up in disagreements, jealousy, power games, and pettiness. Paul says, "God has composed the body so that greater dignity is given to the parts which were without it, and so that there may not be disagreements inside the body but each part may be equally concerned for all the others" (1 Corinthians 12:24-25). This is the true vision. The poor are given to the Church so that the Church as the body of Christ can be and remain a place of mutual concern, love, and peace.

This post was written by Henri Nouwen: http://www.henrinouwen.org

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Marital conflict: The big five

6/10/2013

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One of the most common misconceptions in marriages today is that fighting is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. But is it? Is a healthy marriage really one completely absent of conflict?

As a psychologist (Les) and a marriage and family therapist (Leslie), married since 1984, we don't claim to have a perfect relationship. We fight—just like every other couple on the planet. But we've learned a secret: There's a difference between a bad fight and a good fight.

And when a couple learns to fight a good fight, the conflict actually brings them closer.

All couples generally fight over the same five things: money, sex, work, parenting and housework. Most argue about these five issues over and over again because these are all stressors that speak to our sense of love and fairness.

But you can learn to fight about them in a healthy way. Here are some tools to help you cool down "The Big Five."

Money

Allow us to say it straight: Money fights between couples are rarely about money. So if you want to minimize a currency conflict, trace it back to the fear that’s fueling it.

Instead of fighting over the amount of money that was spent on who-knows-what, shift the focus toward what really matters: (1) your fear of not having influence in important issues impacting your life, (2) your fear of not having security in your future, (3) your fear of having no respect shown for your values, or (4) your fear of not realizing your dreams.

Sex

To keep sexual grievances down and the marital bedsprings bouncing, we recommend focusing on solving “coordination failure.” It’s a common problem in marriages. The number-one reason people report not having sex in their marriage is “Too tired,” followed closely by “Not in the mood.” Most of the time, that’s code, knowingly or not, for having mismatched sex drives.

So start talking about it. As we write this, we can almost feel you cringing. For most couples, talking about sex is about as comfortable as sleeping in a car. Yet it’s a conversation that’s critically important to aligning your libidos and minimizing your conflicts. When the time is right, when both of you are relaxed and not distracted, ask each other to explain when you feel most eager to head to bed. Your answers may surprise you.

Work

We’ve got two words for you: date night. We know. You’ve heard this a thousand times: do a weekly date night or your marriage will suffer. Sounds more like a threat than friendly advice, doesn’t it? But it’s a surefire way to keep career conflict to a minimum.

In spite of this frequent advice, the message doesn’t seem to be getting through. Here’s how often married people, aged 25 to 50 with two or more children, have a date night:

Once a week: 4 percent
Once a month: 21 percent
Once every two to three months: 21 percent
Once every four to six months: 18 percent
Once every seven months or less often: 36 percent

Yikes! We can do better than that, and there’s good reason to do it. The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia recently released a report titled “The Date Night Opportunity.” This study found that husbands and wives who set aside a deliberate time to connect and have fun at least once a week were approximately three and a half times more likely to report being “very happy” in their marriages.

Children

The solution for nearly any parenting conflict is found in getting on the same page and presenting a unified front. Otherwise, your kids play you against each other and add fuel to the parenting fire. Conflict decreases as teamwork increases. It may not be easy to agree with your spouse on the rules and standards you are willing to enforce with your kids. That’s why the first order of business is to iron out differences behind closed doors.

Don’t try to solve your parenting squabbles in the moment—while the kids enjoy the show. The time for presenting your ideas and negotiating trade-offs is when the two of you are alone. Once you reach agreement, stick together. When parents present a united front, there’s no room for recriminating I-told-you-so’s.

Chores

Let’s face it—most housework fights come about because one spouse is keeping score. That’s a bad idea. The scales of marriage are always in flux, and you’re only setting yourselves up for turmoil if you’ve installed a figurative scoreboard in your relationship. Using the division of labor approach does away with all that.

Trina, for example, is better and faster than Dan at both doing the dishes and tidying up around the house. In fact, she does it in half the time it takes him. Given this fact, does it make sense for Dan to do either of these tasks? Not really. What does make sense is for Dan to refresh the water bowl for their pet and prepare their child’s room for bedtime. He’s also quicker at organizing and tracking their finances. He does it in half the time it would take Trina. He’s also pretty good at ironing his own shirts.

You get the idea. It’s simple. Quit trying to divide the household chores down the middle. Marriage is lived best when you’re not trying to balance the scales.

Conflict is a fact of life, but it doesn’t have to be a bad one. When you are your spouse hit up against it next—and you will—go ahead and fight it out, but fight it with the goal to grow closer, to understand him or her better and to love each other well even in the midst of disagreement.

This post was written by Drs Les & Leslie Parrot. For the original post with comments, go to: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/5-biggest-areas-conflict-couples

For their newest book which entails these concepts, go to THE GOOD FIGHT: HOW CONFLICT CAN BRING YOU CLOSER

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Breaking attitudes of entitlement

4/15/2013

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It is strangely ironic that the freedoms and affluence we enjoy in our society are the very things that stand to ruin our children if not addressed early and effectively.

The consumer-credit industry is doing all it can to get your kids to fall for the buy-now, pay-later lifestyle. If you do nothing to intervene, statistics indicate that your child is headed for a life that will be severely impacted not by credit—credit is not the problem here—but by the debt it can create.

When the following three characteristics occur at the same time in the heart and mind of a child, they create a kind of “perfect storm” that has all the likelihood of creating a disastrous situation:

attitudes of entitlement
financial ignorance
glamour of easy spending

For our debt-proofing purposes, “entitlement” is that demanding attitude that says, “I deserve it now even if I haven’t earned it or cannot pay for it.” Some call it the gimmes, others the I-wants. No matter what you call it, this attitude is running rampant, and not only among kids. Entitlement affects kids and adults alike.

Entitlement is subtle. It creeps into our lives when we compare our lifestyles and possessions to those of the people we respect and want to be like. It shows up in new parents who throw all caution to the wind when it comes to nursery furnishings and “mandatory” equipment. It shows up in two-income families who, because they work so hard, feel they deserve to have nice things. It shows up in adults who feel compelled to conform to society’s relentless ratcheting up of standards.

Entitlement is the standard message of marketing and advertising. Look carefully at everything that shows up in your mailbox this week. The message to keep up is relentless. The push for conformity creates attitudes of dissatisfaction and entitlement.

At every turn it seems something or someone is fanning the flames of entitlement in our lives—and our children’s lives too.

Attitudes of entitlement, both yours and your children’s, are an enemy that, if not dealt with, will surely sabotage your efforts to develop financial confidence in your kids.

A frugal lifestyle, where you live below your means, is the best environment in which to raise kids. When children observe their parents consuming carefully, making wise spending decisions, choosing not to buy the biggest and the best, and not living on credit, they begin to assimilate those values.

By telling your children, “We don’t choose to spend our money on that,” you send a positive message that you have money but make intelligent choices about how to spend it.

Clearly, attitudes of entitlement are a serious problem. But they are not terminal. Diligent parents who are willing to be consistent examples and limit setters will find success in tearing down attitudes that have the potential to do great harm.

Excerpted from Raising Financially Confident Kids by Mary Hunt (Revell, 2012).

To go to this post on Mary Hunt's site, click here.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Responding to whispers

4/6/2013

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My wife and I have been on a spiritual journey within the last few months. It has involved an amount of faith and expectancy that we did not know we were capable of displaying. This journey has been one pertaining to our finances.

If you know me well, you know that I love to talk about finances and how the real blessing comes from putting our full trust in God. For the most part, I feel like we were able to do this pretty well, but like any other ordinary hypocrite, it seems that God did not have full control of our bank account…he only had the authority to periodically audit when necessary. As a result of this, we have been struggling to get by, but failing to see that minor changes needed to be made. They were not big changes, but ones that have kept us falling short on a regular basis.

A few months ago, my wife and I set out on a journey to learn more about finances and to start the process of being better managers of God’s money. Since then, He has been prompting us to make hard decisions that would have not otherwise been the first choice on our list. We stopped putting our hope in credit cards, and started believing that God’s ideas were better than ours.

At first, God’s suggestions came as a small whisper (stop eating out as often, be more disciplined, you don’t need it just because you can afford it, etc), but I realized, the more I followed God’s whisper…the louder it became and the more I began to think like Him.

As we followed basic principles, prayed over our budget, developed discipline, and made a strategy for our life, my wife and I began to see overwhelming blessings in this realm. The bills began to be paid on time, anonymous checks showed up, unexpected refunds appeared, and we began to experience a peace that we have never encountered. I really feel as if God had been waiting until we learned how to manage His resources before major blessings would occur. I don’t care how good the theology is on that last statement…for me it has proven to be correct.

Well, my wife and I are still in the same income bracket…but what I have found is this… I would rather live in poverty with Christ than to be a millionaire without Him.

Somewhere wrapped in God’s small whisper…abundance is waiting to surprise you.

Respond to it.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. For the original post, go to: http://other-words.net/2013/03/26/responding-to-whisper/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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My little plastic god

The Valley

Filthy Rich

Trusting

Making heaven your goal

Church solidarity

Preventing corruption in the church

Marital conflict: The big five

Breaking attitudes of entitlement

Responding to whispers

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