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MAD??!!  Do nothing.

7/15/2014

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“About five, ten minutes tops,” the hostess assures us. “We’ll get you right in.”

We are suckers for this particular eatery, my wife and I, and they don’t take reservations for breakfast, so we agree to wait. Still, I remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry, Elaine, and George hear the same thing only to spend the next thirty minutes waiting for a table.

Fifteen minutes tick by. Twenty. Our two older kids are getting crabby, their stomachs growling. Twenty-five. Thirty. Our third child, the baby, needs to eat and begins to give kitten-like yelps of angst.

At the thirty-five minute mark we sigh and head for home and cold cereal. We’ve already reached our car when the hostess runs outside and shouts across the street—“Your table is ready!”

The situation has become laughable, but this place serves up the best cinnamon rolls in town. So we trudge inside, get shown to our table, and sit. Our waitress takes our order. After that we wait some more. And wait. And wait. There’s no casual swing-by from the waitress to say, “Your order will be right up.”

Finally, a whopping fifty minutes after our order is taken, our food arrives.

This has become a bad morning. I wanted this day to be special for my family, but no one’s in a good mood anymore.

When the check arrives, there’s no apology from the waitress, no plausible explanation of being shorthanded today, no murmured account of a new cook being broken in, no visit from the restaurant’s manager to comp us a free meal.

Only the check.

Typically I am a generous and affirming restaurant patron. Years ago I worked as a waiter, so I understand how slowdowns can occur.

But I am fuming. I want to say something to the management, only I don’t trust what might come out of my mouth.

What would you do?

It’s healthy to be assertive.

It’s good to speak up and say what you need to say. To do what you need to do.

In this particular case I considered confronting the waitress or manager after our meal was eaten, (never confront before—you never know who might spit in your soup). But neither of them were around when we wanted to leave, so I didn’t bother.

I simply paid the bill and didn’t leave a tip with the thought that the message would filter up through the ranks.

Then I talked over the situation with my wife on the way home.

And here’s where this story takes a twist--

Both of us acknowledged to each other the disappointment we felt on a morning we’d hoped would be special. We purposely named our feelings of anger to each other.

We discussed the merits of taking further action.

·       We could phone the restaurant, talk to the manager, and demand our money back.

·       We could leave a scathing review online.

But in the end decided in this case we wouldn’t do either.

We would do nothing.

Why?

Because the effort didn’t seem worth our time.

Instead, we wanted to do other activities with our family throughout the weekend. We wanted to put the event behind us and move forward.

In the end, you could call our response a lament of sorts. Not a lament with any deep mourning attached to it, or a grin-and-bear lament that shrugged off the experience completely, or a lament where we went around sad-faced the rest of the day.

Just a simple recognition that life is imperfect.

We’d eaten at this restaurant before and the experience had been great. Lots of people in town liked this restaurant. So there must have been some extenuating circumstances around this day to make our seating and service so slow.

Our conclusion was that sometimes a day doesn’t go as planned. That’s what we acknowledged to ourselves.

We didn’t stuff our anger deep inside our guts. And we didn’t hold vow revenge or hold a grudge against the restaurant.

On this occasion we simply acknowledged the imperfection of the moment, and then moved forward with our day.

Sometimes that’s the best answer.


This post was written by Marcus Brotherton. You can find the original post here:  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/06/frustrated-permission-granted-to-do-nothing/

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Reclaiming anger

1/22/2014

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I’ve heard many sermons throughout my life. I remember very few. I assume that it reflects upon my retention skills rather than the lack of poignancy of most preaching. Perhaps you, too, remember few of the numerous sermons you’ve heard. Yet there are those moments in time, those lines that come amid profound sermons that grab hold of you.

“God is not angry with you.”

This is one of those lines I’ll never forget. A student preacher delivered this to a gathering of eight people. All of us assembled in a small chapel, awaiting our turn to preach for a class. Students aren’t yet expected to speak with profoundness; students are expected to be students. But those poignant, simple words still ring aloud in my head: “God is not angry with me.” Those words speak peace and comfort. They are beautiful and necessary words. Yet they beg the question . . .

Then why is God so angry?

The Old Testament is full of instances when God grew angry at the people of Israel. Rightly so, the people of Israel were often stubborn, prone to worshiping lesser gods, lacked faith on many occasions, and frequently disobeyed God’s direct words. Their actions incited God to anger. Sin has that effect on a holy God. God gets upset when we fall prey to lies that over promise and under deliver. Good fathers don’t get angry with their children when they make mistakes; they get angry about the decisions their kids make, because fathers know the consequences of those decisions.

In fact, if God never got angry, then we should be worried. The Bible says, “The Lord loves those he corrects, just like a father who treats his son with favor” (Proverbs 3:12).

Are we any better than the people of Israel? We sin. Let’s hope that God cares just as much for us.

I grew up afraid of letting my father down. Really, who doesn’t? While he never placed undue expectations upon me, I just wanted to make him proud. Since I became a father to two stepdaughters, I see everything differently. I quickly realized that the disappointment and anger good fathers express when their children mess up is not directed at their children but at their decisions. For my teenage daughters, I see past the present. I see the traits that are developed from habitually not cleaning up after yourself and the dangers of dating that particular teenage boy.

God gets angry because God sees the results of our actions before we do.

Anger is tricky. God gets angry, but God isn’t angry with us.

Dirty, Little Sin


As Christians, we process grief; we show love; we understand compassion; we accept forgiveness; yet when it comes to anger, we reject it as not being useful or holy. There simply is no use for anger in many Christians’ worldviews. We often get told to just “let it go,” “get over it,” or “count to ten.” Anger is treated like a dirty, little secret that needs to be kept quiet, not to be addressed, and to be kept hidden from the world.

Anger exists as the ultimate evil. Happiness exists as the ultimate good. So be happy. This is the philosophy that is often associated with anger.

But why?

God gets angry. Why can’t we? There must be more to anger than simply being a forbidden emotion. God doesn’t make humanity in God’s own image and then deny us the ability to be human. Being truly human is to fully embrace who God made us to be. If God gets angry, perhaps we ought to get angry, too.

Anger is tricky. Yes, it possesses both danger and destruction; but so does love. In the next few chapters, I will discuss from a biblical perspective what anger is, how God gets angry, when we need anger, and when we need to let go of anger.

More than Peace—Shalom  


When I hear that word, I think of it as a greeting, something similar to “Aloha,” or “Live long and prosper.” Yet shalom exists as a fundamental understanding of God’s purpose as presented in the Old Testament. Shalom connotes peace, rightness, truth, and balance. This is God’s plan for humanity, to live in shalom with one another, with ourselves, and with God.

In conjunction to shalom, every Jewish person in the Old Testament possessed a ga‘al. A ga‘al was a family member or friend who served as a “redeemer” and whose purpose was to restore shalom when it was broken. This serves as a key principle to understanding the proper uses of anger. In Genesis 14, Abraham served as the ga‘al when Lot was abducted by the local warlord. Abraham and his servants rescued and restored Lot’s family. Imagine Abraham’s anger when he discovered Lot’s capture. The prerequisite for any good ga‘al is caring for someone enough to be incensed at the breaking of his or her shalom. Jesus serves as our ga‘al; and so as Christ followers, we are to be Christ to the world. This means that we are in the restoring peace business.

Anger always alerts us to the breaking of shalom. Now, anger can cause the destruction of peace, rightness, truth, and balance in our relationships; or it can cause the reconstruction of peace, rightness, truth, and balance in our relationships. Either way, it brings to our attention that something needs to be addressed, accepted, fixed, repaired, or changed. The New Testament further deepens the idea of anger over the Old Testament understanding of “an eye for an eye.” Anger doesn’t have to equal violence. Jesus gives us other ways to deal with problems, besides digressing to a 5 year old in a pinching contest. He teaches that forgiveness is coupled with indignation and that prayer is the greatest outlet for frustration.

In preparing for this book, I became awakened to my own anger. I had no idea that I had been carrying around so much anger for certain people and about certain situations. If anger is a dirty, little secret, you forget that you possess it. It’s not until you own up to it that you can address it. By owning up to my own anger, I realized that I have been “doing anger” all wrong.

There is a constructive way to use anger. Conversely, there is a destructive way to use anger. Guess with which of these two practices I found myself engaged?

Which do you practice?

Notice that I chose the word use instead of deal in referring to anger. We deal with the common cold. We use a tool. We have a capacity for anger for a reason. Let’s discover what that reason is.

I want to reclaim anger. The Bible tells us that God gets angry. Even Jesus expressed his anger from time to time. (Don’t ever abuse the poor in the name of God.) Constructive uses of this emotion are modeled for us by the Divine. On the other hand, find any TV show labeled “reality”; and you will find any number of destructive examples of anger.

Sin corrupts healthy things. Sin changes love into lust, passion into envy, success into pride.

Sin corrupts anger, too. So let’s learn what the psalmist meant by “Be angry, and do not sin” (Psalm 4:4, NKJV). In doing so, may we reclaim, in some small part, what it means to be human!



This post was written by Seedbed author David Dorn.  You can find the original post at:  http://seedbed.com/feed/reclaiming-anger/

BE HOLY.

BE A MAN.


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Do you practice sin in your life? - part two

12/27/2013

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The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Yesterday, we discussed the first part of this section of this scripture.  Today, we will finish.  Let God's Holy Spirit speak to you about your life.

9.  Fits of rage (wrath) - The Greek word thumos is used throughout the New Testament to picture a person who is literally boiling with anger about something.  Although the person tries to restrain his anger by shoving it down deeper into his soul, it intermittently flares up.  When that happens, this person is like a volcano that suddenly blow it top, scorching everything within its reach as it hurls its load of deadly molten lava on the entire surrounding landscape.

10.  Selfish ambition (strife) - The Greek word eritheia describes a self-seeking ambition that is more concerned about itself and the fulfillment of its own wants, desires, and pleasures that it is in meeting the same needs in others.  When eritheia is working in someone's life, it means that a person's principle concern is to take care of himself and to get what he wants.  He is so bent on getting what he wants that he is willing to do anything, say anything, or sacrifice any standard, rule, or relationship to achieve his goals.  Because this self-consumed, self-focused attitude is engrossed with its own desires and ambitions, it is blinded to the desires and ambitions of other people.

11.  Dissensions - The Greek word dichostasia means to stand apart, as one who rebels and steps away from someone to whom he should have been loyal.  Thus the word "dissension" gives the impression of disloyalty.  It is the ultimate act of defiance or disloyalty to an established authority.

12.  Factions - The Greek word hairesis carries the idea of a group of people who adheres to the same doctrine or who ardently follow the same leader and are sectarian.  The adherents of a sect are usually limited in their scope and closed to outsiders, staying primarily to themselves.  In New Testament times, these groups were considered to be unauthorized because they were not submitted to the authority of the church leadership.  In today's contemporary language, we would call them "cliques" -  a group of people who believe or conduct themselves as if they are exclusive.

13.  Envy - The Greek word phthonos implies a deeply felt grudge because someone possess what a person wishes was his own.  Because this person has a chip on his shoulder, he begrudges what the other person possesses and is covetous of that person's belongings, accomplishments, relationships, or titles in life.  Every time he see that other person, he inwardly seethes about his success.  He deeply resents that person's blessing and tries to figure out a way to seize it away from the person he envies in order to make it his own.

14.  Drunkenness - The Greek word methe refers to strong drink or to drunkenness.  The consumption of wine for the sake of intoxication was common in the first century due to many pagan religions that employed wine as a part of their religious practices.  A drunken state suppressed the mind's ability to think correctly and releases the flesh to fully express itself.  The believers in the first century were trying to walk free from the power of their flesh.  The last thing they needed was to drink wine, inhibit their ability to think correctly, revive their flesh, and then do things that were sinful or damaging!  That is why Paul urged them to leave wine alone!

15.  Orgies - The Greek word komoi describes a person who can't bear the thought of boredom and therefore constantly seems forms of amusement or entertainment.  This person is actually afraid of being bored, so he constantly contemplates what he can do next to have fun or be entertained.  The word komoi can refer to a person who endlessly eats at parties or who seeks constant laughter and hilarity.  Although there is nothing wrong with laughter, this person is consumed with the need for comedy, light moments, fun, pleasure, entertainment, or constant eating.  He lives for his next meal, the next restaurant, the next movie, the next vacation.

16.  and the like - Paul ends this list with this Greek phrase, which alerts us to the fact that this list of the works of the flesh is not comprehensive; it is just the beginning of the works of the flesh!  Many more examples of works of the flesh could be added to the list, but Paul uses these as examples of how the flesh behaves, ending the list once he has sufficiently made the point to his readers.  

If you routinely do these things as a matter of lifestyle, I believe you need to go to God and ask Him to tell you the truth about your spiritual status!  

You cannot afford to make a mistake about this eternal question!!


This entry and yesterday's entry are taken from the book, Sparkling Gems From the Greek by R. Renner

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Do you practice sin in your life? - part one

12/26/2013

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The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Let's break this down, go over each word.  Let God's Holy Spirit speak to you about your lifestyle:


1.  Sexual immorality - some translations call this adultery.  The Greek word porneia describes any sexual relationship that occurs outside the sanctified boundaries of marriage.

2.  Impurity - The Greek word here means "uncleanness."  This refers to lewd or unclean thoughts that eventually produce lewd of unclean actions.  It strongly suggests that these actions begin in the the mind as unclean thoughts before they manifest themselves as unclean deeds.


3.  Debauchery - The Greek word here describes "excess."  It primarily refers to the excessive consumption of food or wild, undisciplined living that is especially marked by unbridled sex.


4.  Idolatry - The Greek word eidoloatria depicts the worship of idols, or simply put, "idolatry."  The act of idolatry transpires when an individual gives his complete, undivided attention, devotion, passion, love or commitment to a person, project of object rather than God.  When something other than God takes first place in a person's mind, he has entered, at least to a measure, in the the sin of idolatry.


5.  Witchcraft - The word "witchcraft" is from the Greek word pharmakeia, the Greek work for medicines or drugs that inhibit a person's personality or changes his behavior.  We would call these mind-altering drugs. The Greek work pharmakeia is where we get the words pharmaceuticals and the word pharmacy.  This word was used in connection with sorcery, magic, or witchcraft.  However, for our purposes in today's world, the word "witchcraft" describes the flesh's attempts to avoid being confronted and changed.


6.  Hatred - The Greek word echthra pictures people who cannot get along with each other.  They have deep issues with each other, holding resentments, grievances, complaints, and grudges that go way back in time and have very deep roots.  Something occurred  along the way that caused one or both of them to be offended.  Instead of letting it go, they are divided, hostile, and fiercely opposed to each other.  They are antagonistic, aggressive, and harsh.  They hate each other.  They have a grudge and are determined to hold on to their offense.


7.  Discord - The Greek word eris depicts a bitterly mean spirit that is so consumed with its own self-interests and self-ambitions that it would rather split and divide than admit it is wrong or to give an inch to its opponent!  This is exactly why churches end up divided and families frequently dissolve.  Most of the issues that bring such division are not important. Nevertheless, division occurs because the flesh simply hates to surrender, to admit that it's wrong, to let someone else be right, or to compromise.  Flesh would rather blow all issues out of proportion and wreak havoc than to let someone else have his way!


8.  Jealousy - The Greek word zelos is used in a negative sense to depict a person who is upset because someone else achieved more or received more; therefore, the first person is jealous, envious, resentful, and filled with ill will for that other person who received the blessing he wanted.  As a result of not getting what he desired, this person is irritated, infuriated, irate, annoyed, provoked, and fuming that the other person did get it!  In short, you could say that this person is really incensed and ticked off!



Tomorrow, we will finish with this section of scripture.


This entry and tomorrow's entry are taken from the book, Sparkling Gems From the Greek by Rick Renner

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.



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Sunday Meditation

12/8/2013

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In your anger, do not sin.   Ephesians 4:26

Living in relationship with other people means that we will experience seasons of anger. Anger is a normal human emotion. It is an unavoidable ingredient of any fellowship.

Unfortunately, for most of us, anger is a problem. We know that anger can lead to destructive behaviors. Some of us have been on the receiving end of verbal and physical attacks from an angry person. And some of us have lashed out at others with our anger. So we fear anger because we have seen the destruction which 



results when anger leads to sin. We have seen how anger can damage relationships and lead to loneliness.

But anger does not have to be destructive. We can be angry without harming others. Anger can, in fact, be a constructive force in our lives. Anger alerts us to the fact that something is not right. As a result, anger can protect us and energize us to take constructive action.

The fellowship we need in recovery cannot always be conflict-free fellowship. There will be times of anger. And that can be a good thing.

I am afraid of anger, Lord.
But I know it can't be avoided.
Help me to acknowledge my anger
rather than hide from it.
Help me to use it in ways that are not destructive.
Let it energize me to risk and change and grow.
Help me to learn to live constructively with my anger


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery


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Sunday Meditation

9/8/2013

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A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

At some point during the recovery process we re-examine our most fundamental beliefs. A long process of sorting, examining and questioning takes place. And, in that process, our relationship with God is challenged. It is possible that our relationship with God will deepen and strengthen in the process. But it is also possible that we will find ourselves pulling away from God. We may find ourselves angry with God, or afraid of God, or unable to believe in God at all. This can be a frightening experience. It can feel like the very foundations of life are being shaken.

In times like this, we need many things. But at the top of the list is our need for friends who will accept us even if we turn away from God. We need friends who will not minimize our struggle or discount our feelings. We need people who will not be shocked when we are full of rage at God. We need friends who are able to hear the deep pain behind our words and who know that this, too, is part of our healing. We need people who can see beyond the immediate pain to the healing that can come.

Even when we forsake the fear of God, we need friends who understand, who are committed to us for the long haul, and who plead with God on our behalf.

Sometimes I feel agnostic, Lord, 
I just don't know anymore.
Sometimes I want nothing to do with you.
Where were you when I needed you the most?
Sometimes I despair, Lord.
Sometimes I can't seem to hope.

I need friends who will not abandon me, Lord.
I need friends who will be patient and grace-full with my anger and fear.
I need friends who will stay with me as we wait for you to show yourself once again.
I need friends, Lord, who will give me courage to hope again in you.
Send help, Lord.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

National Association for Christian Recovery


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God's lap

5/25/2013

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I had the opportunity, last night, to hang out one on one with my son while my wife went to a women’s bible study. Like always, it is fun to play with him and have a “boys only” club while mommy was away. When mommy is gone, we do cool boy stuff like build forts, play indoor basketball on his toddler hoop, and eat nutritionally unbalanced meals.

Yesterday, I became the resident horse and was ridden around the house until my arms felt like jello. After this experience, I needed to rest and Josiah decided he was going to play by himself for a few minutes. I took these few minutes to check my email.

After a moment of being on the computer, I began to sense that he wanted to play with me again. My main clue was the mountain of toys he decided to pile in my lap while I was typing. He had taken the time, one by one, to place every stuffed animal, puzzle piece, and book he could find in front of me to instigate me to play with something.

I laughed, because I felt like I was drowning in a sea of toys. After he had done this, he did something interesting…he wanted to climb on my lap too. There was obviously limited real estate on my lap so I had to clear everything off to accommodate him.

This situation made me think about my relationship with God. In my times of prayer, I always feel like I pile heavy burdens and relatively insignificant pleas in His lap to the point of overload. “God probably gets tired of hearing the same prayers”, I think to myself.

The truth is actually quite the opposite. God wants us to pile our burdens, requests, fears, doubts, and anger on His lap. He wants to hear from us on a regular basis. His lap is infinitely large. He enjoys hearing our voice and guiding His children.

This is only part of His nature though…because even though He enjoys when I pile everything on His loving lap, there is something He wants even more…all of me.

Climb into God’s lap today…rest in His care.



This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  You can find his original post with comments, here:  http://other-words.net/2013/05/20/his-lap/

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No fishing allowed!

3/15/2013

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I was talking to a gentleman at a bar and he made an interesting comment.  "You know Sam that goes to your church?  You should talk to him.  He used to be one of the meanest men I've ever met."  He proceeded to tell about some of Sam's antics.  Some of Sam's antics were funny, some were off-color, and some were downright mean.  I knew Sam came to our church but I didn't know him very well.  

So, next Sunday, I found Sam after church and stopped him for a moment.  I told him that I met a man earlier in the week who told me about him.  I started to tell him  a bit of what I heard and he interrupted me.  What Sam said next startled me.  He said, "Dale, I'm a Christian now.  I am so ashamed of what I used to be.  I was not a nice man.  I cannot talk about it."  Sam said this in such a manner that it was obvious that I had  really hurt him.  I quickly apologized to him and he excused himself.

Sam taught me an important lesson that day.  

Do I take sin seriously?  
Do I take my sin seriously?

On another occasion, I was having lunch with a friend who was a new Christian.  In the midst of our conversation, he made this interesting comment, "As I grow in my faith, I learn how my past behavior, though forgiven, was shameful and wrong."  

That's one of many reasons why I love hanging out with new Christians.  They don't have all those defenses that "mature" Christians have.

My new friend taught me an important lesson that day.

Have I taken my sin seriously?  
Am I truly repentant of what I have done in the past?  


I'm not saying that I need to wallow in my past sinful behavior.   
I'm not saying that I need to live a life full of guilt. 

I just wonder if I take too many trips down memory lane, thinking about how much "fun" I used to have.  Do I take too many fishing excursions, trying to recall my past sins positively?

Do I feel godly sorrow for my past?  
Do I feel regret for my past behavior?  


These men taught me that a real man faces his past and takes responsibility for his behavior.  

A real man is sensitive to God's work in his life.  
A real man doesn't recall past sinful behavior in a positive manner.  
A real man is a new creation.  
He adamantly rejects sin.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Iron Mike Tyson inspired parenting

11/5/2012

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Iron Mike Tyson is one of the most iconic, controversial—and also most jacked-up—sports figures of all time. And I absolutely loved watching him fight. He had the unprecedented power to knock his opponent out with just one punch. He would send you crying to mama in the first forty-five seconds of round one. And if you weren’t careful…he just might spit in your face and go to town gnawing on your ear! (Just ask Evander Holyfield.) 

Even though Iron Mike was unquestionably messed up, I couldn’t help loving him as a fighter and an athlete. Because no matter what else you could say about him, he genuinely had that “Eye of the Tiger.” The dude just loved to hit, scrap, punch you in the face, bite, trash talk, kick your booty, fight—and win! He simply stubbornly refused to lose. 

Hey parents, listen up: We need more Iron Mike Tysons in this world. 

Oh, you read that right. What I mean is we need parents who are willing to hit, scrap, punch, bite, and fight for their kids! (Of course, I don’t mean you should hit your kids.) 

But here’s who you should hit: the enemy who’s bent on stealing, killing, and destroying our families. And it’s totally gloves off with that punk. It’s Rumble in the Jungle, Thrilla in Manila, Sting in the Ring, Fight of the Century, all-out war! 

But instead of Iron Mike Tyson parenting, what we’re surrounded with today is lazy, apathetic, exhausted, busy, workaholic, God-dodging, materialistic parenting. Mom and Dad, it’s time you turn off that phone. Stuff that To-Do list in a drawer. Turn off the TV. Get your butt up off that couch. Lace up your boxing gloves… And FIGHT for your kids. 

Five Things Every Parent Needs to Fight for for Their Kids: 

1. Time. James 4:13–14 says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” Make time for your kids today. Nobody’s promising you a tomorrow with them. 

2. Purity. Did you know that the largest audience for Internet porn is kids aged twelve to seventeen years old? Understand this: Satan has a dream, a vision, and a coordinated plan to take your kids out. He wants them checking out porn, keeping secrets, rounding second base and sliding into third, plunging headlong into promiscuity! Parents, please… dig deep and find the guts to FIGHT for your kids’ purity! 

3. Marriage. Is your marriage on life support? Are you at that point where the doc should just come in and pull the plug? Have you been secretly dreaming about some other person besides your spouse? Have you been having an emotional affair? What about a full-on sexual one? Then let me tell you what happens next: Fight for your  marriage! Or risk losing it all—including your kids. It really is just that simple. Sure, it’s tough. I get it. Things are jacked up. I get that maybe you’re not “feeling it” anymore. But one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is modeling for them how to have a healthy, vibrant, passionate love affair—with your spouse! 

4. History. So, what’s your deal? Are you a yeller? Does your anger cause your kids to walk on eggshells around you? Are you a workaholic? Spiritually passive? Porn addict? Critical heart? You know that’s not who you want to be. So why are you still keeping that old man around? Kick him to the curb! Find out what it really means to be in Christ, and to have Him in you. You CAN change the pattern of history that has so far defined your life. Write the legacy that your kids deserve. But here’s the thing: You’re going to have to get bloody knuckles to make it happen. FIGHT! 

5. The Obvious. Fight to keep Jesus in the center of your family. The only thing trying to stop you is the whole world. Don’t let it. Push back. When the cares of this world try to start a fistfight with your family, you pull a knife. When they pull a knife, you pull a gun. Fight! Every day of your life, as soon as you get up, strap on your armor. (See Ephesians 6:10–18 to learn how.) Read God’s Word together, pray together, go to church together, talk about Jesus on the way to school, when you get up and before you go to bed. It's time to RE-UP.  Recommit to making Jesus the centerpiece of your life.

This post was taken from the booklet Sex, Lust and XXX:  Fighting for your kids' purity in a sex saturated world. 

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

10/14/2012

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Picture

Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.


We do not take wood or stones and make idols. We do not pray to statues or prepare food for idols to eat.

It is not with our hands but with our imaginations that we carve out little gods to worship. Just like those who carve out idols with their hands, we make little gods out of our fear and ignorance. Our fundamental problem is that we imagine a God that comes out of our human experience. We imagine God to be like the people we have known in our lives. If we have been raised with impossible expectations, we may find ourselves worshipping the god-of-impossible-expectations. If we have been neglected, we may find ourselves in the service of the god-who-does-not-care. Since these gods do not respond to us when we call, we work harder and harder to please them. We try to be good. We try to be religious. But, we can never do enough. In this way we trade the 'glory of the immortal God' for the very dysfunctional images which arise from our experiences with 'mortal men'.

The good news is that God is not the way we expect. The one true God, the immortal God, is a glorious God. God is a compassionate God, slow to anger, abounding in love and mercy.

Lord, you can see how I cling to my little gods.
I have tried so hard to please them.
But, they are harsh and abusive.
I cannot please them.
But I can't seem to get rid of them either.
They are awful little gods, but they are all I know.
I have grown accustomed to them.
I have adapted my expectations to match their smallness.

I am weary to death of the gods who come from shame, Lord.
I long to worship you, God of Grace.
I long to worship You.
You are the God of Glory.
Give me eyes to see you more clearly today.
Give me a heart that hopes in you.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

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