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2012 in review:  Readers favorites

12/31/2012

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I have listed here the top 12 posts by month for the year 2012.  They are listed by the number of likes by readers.  For the year 2013, I am taking suggestions for blog posts.  Feel free to send me your suggestions to [email protected] or place them in the comments section.

A few sentences from each post gives you an idea of what the post is about.  Click on the title to go to the post:

January 2012 - MAKING MEN - "Raising boys has its own special challenges.  I was fortunate enough to have two sons who have grown into godly men.  They are excellent sons and husbands, men of whom I can be proud."

February 2012 - THE MAN I MOST ADMIRE - "Why do I admire my father more than any other man?  He lives as a consistent Christian witness.  He makes being a Christian admirable and respectable.  He makes Jesus attractive by living a consistent Christian life.  There is no phoniness about him.  He doesn't say one thing and do another."  

March 2012 - IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME - "I have a good Christian friend who fell into sexual sin this past weekend.  I'm very depressed about it.  His behavior was wrong and unacceptable.  He has admitted his sinful behavior and is seeking guidance and healing and restitution for the person that he victimized.  He will have to register as a sex offender and face how the public will now treat him."

April 2012 - TIM TEBOW AND THE MILLION DOLLAR SEX HIT - " I'm disgusted about Tim Tebow.  I'm not disgusted with him, I'm proud of him and his example as a man, a real man.  I'm disgusted that a $1,000,000 hit has been placed on his head.  A website that encourages affairs and lascivious living has stated that $1,000,000 will be awarded to anyone who can come up with real evidence that Tebow is not a virgin."

May 2012 - STEPS THAT LEAD TO AN AFFAIR -  "There are twelve common steps that usually occur in sequence as a relationship moves toward an adulterous affair.  These steps often occur over a long period of time, but a man and a woman can move thru these stages of an affair in a single evening.  Becoming aware of the steps helps us to recognize what might be happening to us so we can stop the process before we are in over our heads."

June 2012 - THE ANTI-SOCIAL RELIGIOUS BAD BOY -  "The anti-social bad boy places high value on being tough, thick-skinned and powerful.  He wants people to fear him.  You may look at that statement and ask, "come on, we could spot this guy a mile away, there's no way he could be a church leader!"  

July 2012 - EVEN SOUL WINNING IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR SALVATION - "The Church in my parts was shocked to learn recently that a brother who has been trained by a prominent evangelism group to the point that he was flying to California to participate in helping train others how to share the gospel with the lost and he was often found in various local churches teaching people how to share their faith, he was arrested for sexual molestation of various women in his practice and was found guilty by the court and sent to prison leaving behind a devastated wife and young children to take care of themselves."

August 2012 - MY FIRST RECOLLECTION OF GOD TALKING TO ME - "I remember when I was about 5-years-old being outside playing with an ant hill.  I had a water hose and flooded the ant hill.  As I saw ants pouring out, some of them would gather into small pools and just lay there.  I started to feel some compassion and put a stick in some of the small pools so that the ants could walk on it to dry land.  I remember hearing inside my head, “do you want to try to save yourself or are you going to let Me save you?” "

September 2012 - THE SOCIAL COSTS OF PORN -  "Pornography is tearing apart the fabric of our society. You may think this is an overstatement. After reading,“The Social Costs of Pornography” by the Witherspoon Institute, I think it may be an understatement."  (This is the most liked post of the 2012 year)

October 2012 - HONORING YOUR WIFE FINANCIALLY - "You've got to work hard. You’ve got to out-work the other men if you want to feed your family. That’s your responsibility as a man. If you want any men to respect you, if you want your wife to respect you, if you want your children to respect you, you pay the bills. You make the money, you feed the family."

November 2012 - CHASING BOYS FROM CHURCH - "Bob raised three boys. His wife took them to Sunday school every week. Vacation Bible School was a highlight of their summer. She drove the lads back and forth to youth group. They sacrificed time and money to send their boys to Christian camps. Bob even helped finance a mission trip to Mexico. Today, Bob's sons are young adults. Not one of them goes to church. There’s no sign of a relationship with Jesus Christ."

December 2012 - NO MORE MALENESS AT THE UNIVERSITY - "A political science professor at Butler University asks students to disregard their “American-ness, maleness, whiteness, heterosexuality, middle-class status” when writing and speaking in the classroom – a practice the school’s arts and sciences dean defended as a way to negate students’ inherent prejudices."

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sunday Meditation

12/30/2012

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Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Abandoned. Neglected. Alone.

Many of us share these painful struggles. Unfortunately, many of us have struggled with them from very early in life. People from dysfunctional families often feel that they were never acceptable to their parents. Many struggle with the feeling that they can never be good enough to receive attention. If reinforced by rejection or abandonment from friends, colleagues, or other significant people in our lives, we can easily conclude that we don't really 'belong' at all.

Humans have a deep longing to belong, to be emotionally bonded with others. Social isolation can be very painful to us. But social isolation may have felt like the only option open to us as children. Attempts at closeness may have meant experiencing control, abuse, rejection or loss. We may have pulled away to protect ourselves, even though it left us lonely and afraid.

God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."

It may frighten us - this invitation to belong to God - even though we long for it. It may frighten us because we expect pain and disappointment, over-control and rejection. But gradually, as we continue the healing process, we can allow God to meet this deep need. We can allow ourselves to belong more and more to God.

Help me, God, to allow myself to belong to you. 
Thank you for calling me by name. 
Thank you for saying 'you are mine'.
I want to belong to you, God.
Help me to heal, Great Physician,
So that I can accept my place in your family. 
Take away my fear, Father, 
give me the courage to belong to you.


Amen

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery


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Dare to be unique

12/29/2012

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When we sit and reflect on our lives sometimes it is helpful to do a self evaluation. Sometimes these surveys can be convicting. It is helpful, because we know we can be honest with ourselves when we are the only audience. Why, then are so many people not honest with themselves? Perhaps it is because the truth (and subsequently; health) is sometimes temporarily more painful than being comfortably unhealthy.

Our culture has cultivated a fertile soil in which an unhealthy heart can flourish. It is so easy to build a wall of pleasure, self deceit, and perpetual disappointment around oneself until our own values, faith, and freedom are eroded.

There is an interesting trend that has been popular for many years, and is apparent in every area of life. It is the trend of individuality. This idea has been encouraged for a long time because so many people in our society have an aversion to being labeled in a certain way, associated with a certain group, or compared to another person. People that desire to be unique and different sometimes want to be noticed, and other times want to be isolated. Some people want to be flashy and wear a lot of jewelry, and others want to dress in all black. Either way, if the person were to be asked, they would call it their personal style that they have developed to be different.

Unique individuality is actually a healthy desire as long as it is accompanied with the passion to lead and influence in a positive direction. If all of the individuals that make up a society wish to be unique from everyone else, then the focus becomes solely inward and all parties are disconnected.

If we were to be honest with ourselves about why we want to be a person that stands out, ironically, we find it is because we want to hide something about ourselves. We are not happy with who we were made to be and desire no association with a larger group with certain characteristics…not because there is an aversion to this group, but because we have seen no good example to help guide us. We end up realizing that this attempt to always be different than everyone else controls us.

Our calling as human beings is to be a cog in the larger system that is the body of Christ. We are called to unite and make this world better…together.

Be real. Be who God made you to be.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://other-words.net/2012/12/27/tyranny-of-the-unique/


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Porn makes me feel powerful

12/28/2012

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I must admit that addressing this topic has been very challenging.  While I have a very clear understanding of the role that control plays in my addiction, it was more difficult for me to connect with it’s specific role when I watch porn.  However, after much introspection and conversation with friends I can now make a more direct connection.  I am very grateful to the XXX Church for assigning me this topic and for the journey that followed as a result.  

On the surface, the relationship between control and watching porn is very easy:  I control what, when and where I act out.  I pick the fantasy.  I can hop to one scene or another and best of all, I face no risk of rejection.  I am in total control!!  But so what......I’m also in total control if I jump behind the wheel of a car and drive head first into a brick wall.  I’m may be in control but at what cost?  I kidded myself for a long time thinking that I wasn’t hurting myself or those around me when I watched porn, but boy was I wrong.  As I dug deeper, I had to ask myself what I was really trying to control when I watched porn?  And what damage was I doing to myself, my loved ones and my relationship with God?  

So what am I really trying to control?  In speaking with a good friend in recovery, we agreed that we are not only trying to control the situation, but we are also trying to control how the need will be met.  Keep in mind that sex is not bad.  In fact God has made us sexual beings and has given us ways for our sexual needs to be met.  However I often foolishly default to “my way is better than God’s way” and substitute a surrogate pleasure (porn) for this need to be met.  But the real need is not sex, it is intimacy.  Somewhere along the way I told myself what I consider to be “the great lie:  that sex = intimacy.”  This one false belief has led me down many a lonesome and troubling paths. 

So let’s look at the second question above and how is my relationship with God is affected.  When I try to exert control over my life rather than trusting God, am I not really worshiping a false idol?  I’m really saying, “this thing that I’m worshiping (porn) will solve all of my problems?  Watching porn, medicating my feelings and controlling my environment is much better than turning to God and asking for his guidance?!”  Seeing it in writing really points out how crazy this thinking is.  Keep in mind that the bible is very clear on worshiping false idols.  In Colossians 3:5 Paul defines idolatry as “sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed” and we also know that the first commandment prohibits Idolatry: “You shall have no other gods before me.”  I’ve always thought of false idols as simply the “golden calf”. But when I expand my thinking it encompasses anything I worship:  Money, power, prestige, career.........and yes porn.  So one of the major consequences of watching porn and therefore worshiping false gods is the pain and dysfunction that consequently poisons my life and my relationships, including with God.  Sadly, one lesson I just can’t seem to master is that placing my trust in God is always a better solution than trusting my own devices.  

So to summarize, it is merely an illusion to think that porn makes me feel all-powerful/like I’m in control.  The reality is that I am far from in control of what is important: realizing intimate relationships with my loved ones and with God.  Choosing porn takes me farther away from reality.  Choosing healthy intimate interactions with my loved ones brings me closer to God.  


This honest post was written by Jim MC from XXX Church.  The original post with comments can be found here:  http://www.xxxchurch.com/men/porn-makes-me-feel-all-powerful-like-im-in-control.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Is masturbation OK?

12/27/2012

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There is so much more to this question than just a cut and dry answer. I think when Pastors are approached with this question its easier to answer on the spot than in a blog. Answering this question takes having some background and some more information than just saying Yes or No. Lets look at some questions I have been asked through the years.

Is Masturbation OK if we are married?

Many times people get very legalistic about what they can and can’t do with the confines of a marriage bed. As we talk about this the first Caveat is I would never endorse anything that makes someone feel shame or anything that is being forced on one another. Paul uses these words when dealing with our hearts 1 Corinthians 6:12-13

12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. That being said I think there are ways that manual stimulation can be used between a married couple that are fine and don’t need to bring up thoughts of guilt or shame.

What if my Spouse and I can’t be together?

I get this question from time to time from military members who are deployed or are separated for some reason from their spouse. The Bible is very clear that you should only have eyes for your spouse. If this brings you closer to your spouse during long separations and doesn’t drive a wedge in your relationship I would say that could be OK. I would beware of the wandering mind and if doing it distracts from thoughts of your spouse I would steer clear of it altogether.

My wife isn’t that interested in sex and I am so can’t I do this to tide me over until the next time we have sex?

Although this may seem like its the same question as above I view this differently. Masturbation can distract and be a coping mechanism that isn’t healthy inside of a relationship. I would strongly warn against doing this and labeling it as a need. Sexual appetites are like any others the more you feed them the more they consume us. Excessive masturbation can lead men and women to have a skewed view of sex with your spouse.

I’m single and It keeps me from sleeping around. Isn’t this ok?

I would disagree with the thought process here altogether. Jesus said this when dealing with thoughts of the mind.Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your lusting after women its the same thing. Keeping a pure mind is difficult enough in todays world and adding masturbation and fantasy to it is not going to make that any easier. Masturbation is not simply a physical act it also engages the mind as well, and that is where we need to be extremely careful.

Is the act of masturbation alone a sin?

The Bible tells us everything we need to know not everything we want to know. Unfortunately the bible isn’t filled with an FAQ section. The Bible is very specific when it comes to the heart issues that can surround masturbation. The Bible tells us not to worship ourselves, Not to lust after women, That our eyes are the window to our soul, To be careful and guard our hearts and many more things that can relate to this issue. When pressed I don’t think we can say the act in and of itself is a sin but it can cause us to sin and this is why we must be very careful when dealing with this subject.

This post was written by Rod Poepping of XXX Church.  The original post with comments can be found here:  http://www.xxxchurch.com/men/pastorsblog/what-do-i-do-when-asked-if-masturbation-is-ok.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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It's so hard to resist temptation

12/26/2012

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The weight, thrust and speed of a plane at a specific moment during take off necessitates a point of no return, no time to pull up or abort the take off, it must continue regardless of what is in front of them.  Ever had that feeling as you sit in front of the computer screen?

I think we all recognise the process of taking off into the soul destroying world of pornography, the taxi onto the run way, the slow process of picking up speed and that moment of no return.  I have found that I am not strong enough to abort the take off once I am on the runway, the key is to discover the triggers that propel me to even get into the plane.  Having mechanisms such as the great software at xxxchurch helps to abort the take off but doesn't stop the triggers from instigating my hearts journey into pornography.

Sometimes these triggers are easier to spot than others, having a really crap day, everybody has unloaded and dumped their waste on me or just times of undue stress will get me looking for a quick release, I now recognise this and am able to instigate a pre determined process of accountability and strategies of distance from computers etc.

The problem really comes to the fore when multiple triggers happen all at once with my largest trigger being 'aloneness' coupled with stress, depression or even euphoria over a successful 'event'.  As I write this my wife is on a plane to the other end of the country for five days during which, I have the four kids (3yrs to 11yrs), childcare, school, work, an end off year bible college assignment due, a blog to write, my two monthly tax to complete a men's event and just to top it off my wife and I have not had sex for at least a week (just keepin it real).  I tell you the odds are stacked, my boarding pass to late night destruction is all but purchased, am I worried? Yep!  So I have instigated some rules, I have recognised triggers, I am planned but all it takes is for one more thing, that left field attack and all laid plans could be out the window.

So what do I do, I have safety nets, I recognise triggers but its still going to be a tough week and i am going to need something extra.  I cannot stress enough the love and power available in Christ.  I have done all I can, in my own strength, so to not get to the point of no return but my heart is cunning, deceptive and somewhat selfish on its own and a continual leaning into Jesus, the lover of my soul, will be required.  What does that mean?  It means that I am more like the tax collectors, Gentiles, non believers that Jesus came to be a great physician to and He enjoys being invited into my home and on top of the accountability team, the software, the rules around computer use I also have the God of the universe in my corner, cheering for me, providing the vision of wholeness, and giving strength when mine runs out.  I just need to lean into Him when all the guns are pointing in my direction with triggers just waiting to go off.  It is a partnership that I am reliant on, a partnership that requires me to do my part but also one that requires me to lean into Him.

Do not leave out the greatest power, strength and love that can be offered, Jesus desires for you and me to be whole and as we spend time in His word, in prayer, and just sitting in His presence we have something completely 'other' that we can call upon when the triggers to destruction start taking over.

This post was written by Jason Baird of XXX Church.  You can find the original post with comments here:  http://www.xxxchurch.com/men/what-do-i-do-when-temptation-is-getting-hard-to-resist.html


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Christmas in Ecuador

12/25/2012

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20 Christmases ago, when our boys were young, we had a missionary assignment in Quito, Ecuador.  One Christmas in Ecuador was especially memorable.  

What do you want when you are living in a foreign country away from extended family and the comforts of home?   Well, you miss American things.  

Around the corner from our home was the Carolina Market.  There you could get just about anything that you wanted, especially if you asked ahead.  One time, I went in there searching for Dr Pepper and there was one lone can sitting in the corner of a vendor's booth.  He wanted over 5,000 Sucres for it!  (This was before the American Dollar became the currency of Ecuador)  So that was well over $5.  Did I miss America and Dr Pepper that much?  Was I willing to spend that much money for it?  Nope...

There was a short-term volunteer missionary team that was coming to Ecuador from the United States that was going to be in Ecuador for about a week.  They had heard about us and contacted us ahead of time, wanting to know if there was anything that they could bring us for Christmas.  So, what do you think we asked for?  Yep, you guessed it.  Dr Pepper.

Also, we wanted Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, the boys favorite cereal.  They hadn't had this cereal for well over six months and occasionally would ask about it.  We tried to to find it at the Carolina Market to no avail.  We also searched other Ecuadorian grocery stores but did not find anything that resembled their favorite cereal.  

So, we decided to make the trek to the city that the team was going to.  It was a good 5-hour (one-way) bus ride to get there.  It was a beautiful ride, thru the Andes mountains.  There were chickens and goats on the bus with us as well.  Our destination city was also the only city in Ecuador to have a Burger King.  So, we were looking forward to having a Whopper as part of our trip.  As we got off the bus and made our way to Burger King, we were sorely disappointed.  The "whopper machine" was broken.  I didn't know there was such a thing as a "whopper machine"  So, we ended up not having it our way but rather got chicken sandwiches.  They were good but they weren't Whoppers.  

The meeting with this team was special.  These were people we didn't know.  Nor did the know us.  Yet, they traveled from afar to bring us gifts.  We talked about Ecuador, they told us where they were from and there were some connections made.  These gifts that they brought us felt as valuable as gold.  We were extremely grateful.  They brought other gifts but the DP and the Cap'n Crunch stand out as the most memorable.  You just couldn't get those in Ecuador.

You can imagine our excitement!   The four of us packed up our gifts and placed them in a suitcase to take back on the bus.  We talked about it all the way home (another 5 hours) and were very tempted to open some before we got home.  Nevertheless, we were able to wait.  Now Christmas was still a couple of weeks away.  But wanting to be good parents, we opened one box and one can and had that for our supper when we got home.  The rest were packed away for Christmas.  

Christmas was special that year.  The boys knew that they were going to get Cap'n Crunch and I knew that I was going to get Dr Pepper.  We talked about it every day leading up to Christmas with Karyn teasing us that Santa may not make it to Quito.  But we knew better.  

The excitement mounted so that even though we knew what we were getting for Christmas, it was still a wonderful event:  Having hot chocolate, opening presents, eating Cap'n Crunch and drinking Dr Pepper.  

It's a Christmas I will never forget.  

So, this Christmas, you know what Jesus is going to get.  Gold, frankincense and myrrh.  Have you waited with excited anticipation as Jesus opened these gifts?  Did you see the joy in His eyes as He enjoyed what was given to Him?  

Do you approach this Christmas with excited anticipation?  

You know what you're going to get.  

The greatest gift of all time is given today.  

Are you going to open it and enjoy it?  

Jesus offers Himself.  

He wants to see you enjoy Him.  He wants you to enjoy Him as a little baby.  He wants you to enjoy Him as a young teen in the Temple.  He wants you to enjoy Him at the Wedding in Cana. He wants you to enjoy fishing with Him, learning from Him, becoming more like Him.  

He also wants you to follow Him.... All the way to the cross.  

If you haven't accepted the Savior of the World into your life, this is a great time to do it.

Make it a Christmas you will never forget.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Have a Slappy Christmas!

12/24/2012

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Santa Claus had his origins in St. Nicholas, the fourth-century bishop of Myra in present-day Turkey. Known for his generosity and his love of children, Nicholas is said to have saved a poor family's daughters from slavery by tossing into their window enough gold for a rich dowry, a present that landed in some shoes or, in some accounts, stockings that were hung up to dry. Thus arose the custom of hanging up stockings for St. Nicholas to fill. And somehow he transmogrified into Santa Claus, who has become for many people the secular Christmas alternative to Jesus Christ.

But there is more to the story of Nicholas of Myra. He was also a delegate to the Council of Nicea in a.d. 325, which battled the heretics who denied the deity of Christ. He was thus one of the authors of the Nicene Creed, which affirms that Jesus Christ is both true God and true man. And unlike his later manifestation, Nicholas was particularly zealous in standing up for Christ.

During the Council of Nicea, jolly old St. Nicholas got so fed up with Arius, who taught that Jesus was just a man, that he walked up and slapped him! That unbishoplike behavior got him in trouble. The council almost stripped him of his office, but Nicholas said he was sorry, so he was forgiven.

The point is, the original Santa Claus was someone who flew off the handle when he heard someone minimizing Christ. Perhaps we can battle our culture's increasingly Christ-less Christmas by enlisting Santa in his original cause. The poor girls' stockings have become part of our Christmas imagery. So should the St. Nicholas slap.

Not a violent hit of the kind that got the good bishop in trouble, just a gentle, admonitory tap on the cheek. This should be reserved not for out-and-out nonbelievers, but for heretics (that is, people in the church who deny its teachings), Christians who forget about Jesus, and people who try to take Christ out of Christmas.

This will take a little tweaking of the mythology. Santa and his elves live at the North Pole where they compile a list of who is naughty, who is nice, and who is Nicean. On Christmas Eve, flying reindeer pull his sleigh full of gifts. And after he comes down the chimney, he will steal into the rooms of people dreaming of sugarplums who think they can do without Christ and slap them awake.

And we'll need new songs and TV specials ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Slap," "Deck the Apollinarian with Bats of Holly," "Frosty the Gnostic," "How the Arian Stole Christmas," "Rudolph the Red Knows Jesus").

Department store Santas should ask the children on their laps if they have been good, what they want for Christmas, and whether they understand the Two Natures of Christ. The Santas should also roam the shopping aisles, and if they hear any clerks wish their customers a mere "Happy Holiday," give them a slap.

This addition to his job description will keep Santa busy. Teachers who forbid the singing of religious Christmas carols-SLAP! Office managers who erect Holiday Trees-SLAP! Judges who outlaw manger displays-SLAP! People who give The Da Vinci Code as a Christmas present-SLAP! Ministers who cancel Sunday church services that fall on Christmas day-SLAP! SLAP!

Perhaps Santa Claus in his original role as a theological enforcer may not go over very well in our contemporary culture. People may then try to take both Christ and Santa Claus out of Christmas. And with that economic heresy, the retailers would start to do the slapping.

The original post was copied from:  http://www.worldmag.com/2005/12/slappy_holiday

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Sunday Meditation

12/23/2012

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When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

There are times in life when it feels like we will drown in sorrow. The losses, the betrayals, the failures threaten to overwhelm us. The intensity of the emotional pain frightens us in times like this. We feel ourselves losing ground as life swirls around us.

This text states with great clarity two central truths which are critical to our survival in times like this. First, God has made a very specific promise to us. God says "I will be with you." This may not always be what we want. We may want God to take the floods of life away. We may want God to build dams upstream in life so that the danger of flood is diminished. But, God's promise is clear. I will be with you.

Secondly, this text says very clearly "When you pass through the waters, they will not sweep over you." God will protect us and see us through. There are times when there just doesn't seem to be any way to make it. Nothing is more painful in these times than to have someone who stands at a distance express optimism about our pain in a way that minimizes the struggle. ["Oh, you're going to be fine. Stop worrying about it."] Conversely, nothing is more valuable in these times than to have someone with us who sees the danger clearly but who is able to be hopeful for us and protect us and see us through

For your promise to be with me in the floods of life, God,
I give you thanks.
Help me to sense your presence.
For your hopefulness about my recovery, 
I give you thanks.
Help me to share in your hope.
You are Life-Preserver to me, God.
Thank you.

Amen.


Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery


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Taking responsibility for evil

12/22/2012

1 Comment

 
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“Everything happens for a reason.” How many times have you heard this short, pithy saying echoed in response to tragedy? Hospital rooms and crime scenes across the world are littered with these words. Such a seemingly innocent idea appears to provide many Christians with serenity and strength in the midst of great calamity. It is truly a concept that has brought many Christian sufferers a profound sense of security and comfort in moments of intense grief. The notion that there is a reason, or a purpose, for all events seems to say something positive about the sovereign care of God. To affirm this popular Christian idea is to affirm that, even in the midst of utter chaos and confusion, God has everything under control; all events are a part of God’s magnificent, immutable plan for his creation. When viewed in this light, it is no wonder why so many well-meaning believers hold on to this popular Christian motto.

But what are the dangers, if any, of such an understanding? It seems to me that this seemingly harmless idea carries with it some heavy theological implications. A quick analysis of the key terms used in this common Christian saying will be more than sufficient in demonstrating this. The word “everything” obviously means “all occurrences,” or “all events”—from the greatest acts of self-sacrificial love, or pure altruism, to the most horrendous evils imaginable.

The phrase “for a reason” seems to imply that the event in question was necessary to some greater good; it is a part of a greater divine plan. In this schema, there are no accidents, no pointless events; nothing happens merely by chance. This means that God is involved in every single event; the hand of God is somehow behind all occurrences. Thus, meaning can be found everywhere. There is hope that even the most horrific evils serve some higher purpose.

Overall, this weighty Christian motto seems to lead to two possible theological conclusions: Either (1) all events are caused by God or (2) God deliberately chooses not to intervene in particular situations, and thus not to prevent certain evils, in order to fulfill his set purposes, which would not have materialized had he intervened. In other words, either all things are divinely determined or God allows particular evils to occur in particular situations because they are necessary to greater goods which justify their occurrence.

Both of these options are based on the notion of particular providence, or meticulous divine governance, and thus both of them deny the existence of gratuitous evils. Again, if everything indeed happens for a reason, then there is no such thing as a pointless, purely accidental, or even unnecessary evil.

Based on this analysis, it should not be surprising that this common Christian understanding has often led to some controversial public pronouncements, to say the least. For instance, in the time before the election, a certain Republican senate candidate allegedly claimed that rape is the will of God. Whether or not this is actually what the prospective senator meant is unclear (personally I do not think that it was). Nevertheless, the words of this senatorial candidate have been interpreted in this very manner.

This recent charade is just another example of how problematic, and even dangerous, this theological viewpoint can be. Not only can it be detrimental to Christian witness in the world—as it can easily portray God as the author of evil—but it can also be injurious to personal faith for the same exact reasons. One can imagine the trauma that a person can undergo when that person sincerely believes that God is the cause of her husband’s physical suffering or her daughter’s mental disability. The trauma might even be more intense in cases that involve the repugnant stain of moral evils (all evil that stems from the will of human beings) like rape.

With all of this in mind, my purpose in writing is to correct what I see as a highly-problematic misunderstanding in popular Christian theology. In order to effectively deal with the troubling words of the Indiana senatorial candidate mentioned above, I will narrow my focus to the concept of moral evil in particular.

It is impossible to prove that the idea of particular providence, or meticulous divine governance, actually corresponds to reality. Unfortunately, it is also impossible to prove that it does not. Thus, when discussing such matters, we must be willing to put aside our desire to make objective, matter-of-fact claims. What we can do, however, is discuss what we think is reasonable.

I would argue that the ontological existence of gratuitous, pointless, unnecessary evil makes much more sense of Christian theology and human experience than its nonexistence does. Likewise, I would also argue that the notion of genuine libertarian free will, which allows for the existence of gratuitous evils, makes more sense of reality and Christian theology than its alternatives--either the idea that God causes everything or the idea that God meticulously overrides all human actions that would have resulted in moral evils except for those that are necessary to greater goods. 

Human beings are free moral agents and thus possess the God-given capacity to make free moral choices. God endowed human beings with personal and moral freedom because he values sincerity of choice and sincerity of action. God is not in the business of creating robots that are programmed to think and act in a set, predetermined manner. Instead, God created human beings in his image, which involves personal and moral freedom, so that they may be able to choose the good out of the sincerity of their heart, rather than out of the coercion of the divine will.

In a world where sincere human freedom exists, and thus in a world where God does not jeopardize the integrity of the moral order by continually tinkering in human affairs, the potentiality for gratuitous, or pointless, evil exists; gratuitous evil will always be a possibility in a world occupied by free moral agents who are generally unabated by the coercive will of God. In fact, the same moral freedom that allows for some of the most selfless acts of love also allows for some of the most horrific acts of evil. Mother Teresa used her moral freedom to minister to the poor of India; Ted Bundy used his moral freedom to murder innocent young women. Freedom is a beautiful thing, but it can also be a dangerous thing.

In light of this, I tend to believe that, more often than not, evil is an abuse of human freedom, rather than an abuse of divine freedom; God does not force people to do bad things, people sincerely choose to do bad things. We must allow man to be evil and God to be good. When we ascribe evil to the will of God, we basically blame God for things that he plays no part in, things that he actually despises. To be quite honest, this is insulting to the nature and character of God.

If human beings truly are free moral agents, equipped with the ability to make free moral choices, and if God truly values the sincerity of human action and the integrity of the moral order, then it follows that some things do not happen for a higher, divine purpose. Again, if God truly allows his creatures to act as they may, without intervening every time they are about to commit a moral evil that is not necessary to a greater good, then some evil is entirely pointless. Because moral evil is often the sole result of human perversity, evil is not always necessary to greater goods. In a world endowed with human freedom, some evil is simply meaningless.

So, in response to the recent controversial remarks from the Indiana senatorial candidate mentioned above, we can rightly say that rape is not the will of God. Instead, it can be said that rape is a perverse expression of the depraved human will. In general, the act of rape is a meaningless, pointless, gratuitous evil that opposes God’s good purposes for his creation; it is a good example of a thing that happens for no higher purpose, or reason.

Fortunately, however, we do serve a God who both can and will redeem all evils, and who, in some way, can beautify even the ugliest perversities of the human will. Even though some things may not happen for a reason, and even though God’s perfect will does not always come to fruition in the midst of a rebellious world, God is never far from us. He is here. He has not abandoned us, and never will he. Though it may not always seem like it, God is working to make all things new. He will not allow evil to reign in this world forever. Although our world may be consumed with evil, even gratuitous evil, God is surely able to turn that which is ugly into something that is beautiful, even glorious; we worship a God who seeks to use the bad for good. This is what Christians call redemption, and this is the eternal plan of the Triune God.

This post was written by Ryan Ragozine who is a Master Arts in Theological Studies student at Asbury Theological Seminary. He received a B.A. in theological studies from Southwestern Assemblies of God University and plans to pursue a Ph.D in historical theology.


For the original post, go to:  http://seedbed.com/feed/evil-sometimes-the-human-explanation-is-better-than-the-divine-explanation

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