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Men need to pray

10/31/2017

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It’s been estimated that a typical Christian layman spends about three-and-a-half minutes each day in prayer. Full-time Christian workers average about seven minutes per day. Why do we fail to take full advantage of the privilege of prayer? Is it a lack of discipline? Are we too busy? Are we unmotivated?

Perhaps the basic cause relates to how we view God. We may have no genuine awe for the one “who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth” (Isaiah 51:13). And if we aren’t captivated by God, prayer is a tedious task—a discipline that only those with wills of steel can master.

I once regarded prayer as “gutting it out” before God—bringing reams of petitions before Him. The more requests I could bring, the more spiritual I was.

I also misinterpreted statements from godly men about the importance of prayer. Martin Luther’s statement that “I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer” implied to me that prayer was a guaranteed formula for success.

Rather than being dynamic communion with the sovereign Lord of the universe, prayer was an exercise meant to wrestle effects into the lives of people and to manipulate God’s hand. Prayer became lifeless and tedious. It was like castor oil: tasting terrible, but good for me.

Yet God reminded me of the truth I was neglecting: He wanted to commune with me. Communion is the intimate sharing of thoughts and emotions. It’s intimate fellowship, rapport or communication. This is the kind of relationship God wants.

I realized afresh that God desires communion with me and has little interest in the petition gymnastics I was trying to perfect. He wants me to be preoccupied with Himself.

Seeing God this way enables us to stand in awe of him. It stimulates our heart to vital communion and conversation with Him. Seeing God as He is requires faith on our part, but whoever is enamored and thrilled with God is then rightly motivated to pray. I believe that’s what John 4:24 is hinting at: “God is spirit and His worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”

What can we do? God has graciously given us two major resources to enable us to see Him as He is: His works and His Word.

Most of us think of the works of God as His spiritual work in people’s lives. But another work of God, neglected by many of us, is His creation. The universe declares God’s glory, but many of us have lost our sense of wonder at the ordinary miracles God performs all around us each day. 

God wants us to experience awe and wonder when we see the return of spring, or the variety in the animal world, or the impressive powers of wind, rain, and sea. Isaiah wrote, “Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?” (Isaiah 40:26). We, too, should consider the one who made it all, and we can ask God to help us see Him in His creation.

The second resource available to us is God’s Word—a vast reservoir of riches designed to remind us of the greatness of the God we serve. Many passages focus on what God is like. When you read them, think of the implications these attributes have for our lives, and talk with God about them.

The life of Jesus Christ as told in the Gospels also draws our attention to God’s character. As we read about Jesus talking with and living among people, we see vivid examples of God’s character in action.

Communion also means sharing the same thoughts as we communicate. We need to respond to God about the specific things He has spoken to us about. We often fail to do this when we read the Bible. In a particular passage, God may speak to us about His holiness. But our mind is preoccupied with how we can come up with enough money to pay next month’s rent. So when we put down our Bible and pray, what do we talk to God about? Not His holiness, but the rent money!

It is not wrong to pray about our needs, but God wants us to listen to Him and give Him a proper response. Imagine telling someone, “I love you very much,” only to hear him respond, “I sure hope I get a raise soon at work.” Such conversations don’t do much to build intimacy in a relationship. 

Another way to appreciate God and commune with Him is to read and meditate on the great prayers of the Bible. When the early Christians prayed for boldness (Acts 4:24–30) most of their words recounted what God had already done. No wonder their prayer for boldness was clearly answered. Many of the psalms of David and the prayers of Paul also focus on who God is and what he has done, rather than on their requests.

Growing in reverent communion with God isn’t another burden to add to your already busy schedule. It is not an activity, but an attitude of heart that should influence your Bible study, Scripture memory, quiet times, and prayer.

William Carey said that “secret, fervent, believing prayer lies at the root of all personal godliness.” We could add that an exciting sense of reverence and worship—an increasing appreciation of God’s presence—lies at the root of all secret, fervent, believing prayer.

Adapted from Focus on the Father in Discipleship Journal, November/December 1981

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3 reasons to tell your son to wait

10/30/2017

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1. Sex was created for marriage. We shouldn’t paint a picture of sex as naughty, dirty, nasty, and shameful to our kids. What we should be teaching our kids (in age appropriate ways, of course) is that God created sex, and that sex is amazing, beautiful, intimate, passionate, and of course fun…and best experienced in the context of marriage. (See Genesis 2:23–25.) 

2. We have a deep, passionate love for Jesus. “The Sex Talk” can quickly turn into a list of don’ts! But what we need to be teaching our kids is the whys. If we do our job properly, our kids should want to abstain, based out of their deep, abiding, passionate love for Jesus. The Bible is full of don’t verses (Acts 15:29, Romans 1:29, 1 Corinthians 6:13–18). While certainly it’s critical that we teach our kids the truth of God’s Word, we also need to convince them to obey His Word out of love, devotion, and passion for Him. 

3. Sex before marriage is robbery. When we choose to follow Christ, the reality is that we are God’s sons and daughters. And when we have sex outside of marriage, we’re stealing the virginity and purity of others who belong to God. Those things are His, a precious treasure that He has reserved only for the future spouse of that person. I know this is a bold statement, but we must honor God’s kids! We must value them, treating them with gentleness, love, kindness, and care. We need to treat them as precious and holy! Because that’s what they are in His eyes. 

This post was taken from the booklet Sex, Lust and XXX:  Fighting for your kids' purity in a sex saturated world. 

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Uncle Buddy:  Set they house in order, for thou shalt die

10/29/2017

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In II Kings 20: 1 we have this declaration through the Lord, "Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die, and not live." We want to notice why a man should set his house in order.

First, because we read in Heb. 9: 27, "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment." As man is judgment day bound, therefore he should set his house in order.

Second, he should set his house in order because of the uncertainty of life. Life is uncertain and death is sure. Death is on the track of every man, and the world in which we live is a dangerous world. There are ten thousand dangers on every side of man as he travels along the journey from this world to heaven. In fact, death is so certain that there have never been but two men who got out of this world alive, and they were both holiness men -- Enoch and Elijah.

Third, we should set our houses in order because of the certainty of death. As truly as we are here today, we shall go there tomorrow. No way of escape; the death angel is ready.

Fourth, we must set our houses in order, because not to do so will bring sorrow to us and our loved ones forever. The hardest job in the world for a preacher to do is to preach the funeral of a man when he has no evidences of his reaching heaven.

Fifth, we must set our houses in order because we must meet God and give an account of our stewardship here below. And every man feels that he owes a debt to the Lord that he sooner or later must settle.

Sixth, we must set our houses in order here, for this is the only world in which it can be done. The crowd of backslidden preachers that are running up and down the land disputing God's Word to His face and offering the ungodly a second probation in the next world are themselves the dupes of the devil. The Bible nowhere offers men a chance of repentance beyond the grave.

And as we have just given you a few reasons why you should set your house in order, we will now give you a few scriptures showing you how it can be done.

In John 16: 7-8 we have Bible conviction, Christ said, "When he [the Holy Ghost] is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment."

In the second place, in Luke 13: 3 Christ said, "Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." And in II Cor. 7: 9-10, St. Paul said, Repentance is a "godly sorrow" for sin that needeth "not to be repented of." He means to teach there that the sinner is sorry that he did the thing and is not merely sorry that he got caught at it. All rascals are sorry that they are caught but few of them are sorry that they did the thing.

Third, we must confess our sins in order to get rid of them. We read in I John 1: 9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins."

Fourth, we must forsake our sins. In Prov. 28: 13, King Solomon said, "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy." Here we notice that to confess sin is not as much as God requires.  His requirements are confess and forsake. The most of sinners confess their sins every day; but while they do so they hold on to their sins with a death grip, until like the sinners of old, they hold on to them till they damn them.

Fifth, we must believe on the Lord Jesus Christ In Acts 16: 31, St. Paul says, "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thine house." Here St. Paul seems to teach a household religion, for he declared if this man would believe on the Lord Jesus Christ that there was at least a possibility of the whole family finding God.

Sixth, we must be justified by faith, and St. Paul said in Rom. 5: 1, "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." Here the theologian tells us that justification means a legal act and really takes place in the mind of God.

Seventh, we must be regenerated. In Paul's letter to Titus he said, "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; which he shed on us abundantly" (3: 5-6). Here the reader will notice the distinction between justification and regeneration. While justification takes place in the mind of God, regeneration takes place in the heart of man. Those who are in authority and position to know tell us that regeneration means to give life to those who once had it but lost it. We find that man lost his spiritual life in the Fall, but he has been redeemed by Christ and bought back. Now God restores to him the beautiful spiritual life that he lost and, thank God, he may not and need not ever die again.

Eighth, we must receive the witness of the Spirit, and we read in Rom. 8: 16-17, "The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ." Now here we find that the witness of the Spirit is even different from justification and regeneration. While justification takes place in the mind of God, regeneration is in the heart of man. Here our Heavenly Father in His goodness and mercy sends the Holy Spirit into our hearts and lives and gives us a conscious knowledge of the fact that our sins have been blotted out, and we have the blessed assurance now of our home in heaven.

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, we must be adopted into the family of God. We read in I John 3: 1-3, "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure." Here the reader will notice that it means so very much to be adopted into the royal family, and this makes Rom. 8: 16 very plain, where Christ declares that we become "heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ." We see here that an heir is much more than a mere servant, for we belong to the family and have all the rights of lawful heirs.

Amen, for our wonderful and glorious possession!

Robinson, Reuben A. (Bud). The Collected Works of 'Uncle Bud' Robinson (Kindle Locations 2762-2809). Jawbone Digital. Kindle Edition. 


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Before the Throne of God Above

10/28/2017

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Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.


When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.


Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!


Date:  1863
Author:  Charitie L. Bancroft
Music:  William Bradbury


Story:

Charitie was born at Bloomfield, County Dublin, the fourth child of Rev George Sidney and Charlotte Lees. The Rev George Smith was the minister of Colebrooke church, in the Church of Ireland parish of Aghalurcher from 1838-1867 and during this period the family including Charitie lived in Ardunshin House near Brookeborough, County Fermanagh, Ireland. In 1860 one of Charitie's first compositions O for the robes of whiteness appeared in leaflet form in the immediate aftermath of the Irish 1859 revival. In 1863 she wrote perhaps her best known hymn Before the Throne of God Above which she entitled The Advocate (a hymn which was revived in evangelical circles in the late Twentieth Century). In 1867 Charitie's father took the family to Tattyreagh, Omagh, County Tyrone, when he became the rector of St Columba's Church Charitie continued with her compositions eventually publishing them in a volume entitled Within the Veil in 1867.

In 1869 a Liverpudlian Arthur Bancroft married Charitie in Edinburgh, Scotland. Records of her married life are scarce but it seems she was widowed twice. She died in Oakland, California, USA aged 82 bearing the name de Cheney.


Bible Verses

Isaiah 25:4 - You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat. For the breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall and like the heat of the desert.

This hymn and story were taken from this website:  www.popularhymns.com/before_the_throne_of_god_above.php

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Approach

10/27/2017

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Let us then approach Godʼs throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.- Hebrews 4:16


Several weeks ago, I was giving announcements at the church that I pastor. It was the beginning of the service so people were getting settled in and focusing on what God was going to reveal to them in this space. Attempting to keep a certain amount of professionalism and solemnity, I read the bullet points to remind the congregation of events happening in our church. 


As soon as I started communicating this important information, my daughter saw me at the front and ran to my side. She completely disregarded the normal rules of church decorum and hugged my leg. She didn’t care who witnessed this. She just wanted to be by my side. 


In my instance, my daughter didn’t understand that we don’t do things like this in church (so we think). We think every moment has to be scripted and polished or the Holy Spirit will refuse to show up. All my daughter wanted was to be near me. 


In the same way, God tells us we can approach Him. We can anytime and in any circumstance. He wants to be near us and He wants us to want to be near Him. We are His children and we are called to approach the throne with boldness. We certainly fear Him in the name of respect, but we also know there is strength, comfort, and peace in His presence. Prayer is an activity that allows this interaction. He loves us so much that He invites us to this type of relationship. 


Lean into Him today and approach Him with boldness. Completely disregard what the world thinks and run after Him.


Prayer for today: Abba Father, help me to be even closer to you than ever before. Fill me with peace and comfort during life’s trials. Amen.

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This post was written by Rev DeCrastos.  
​You can find his blog here: www.ministrysauce.com​



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Practicing Fatherhood:  Part Three

10/26/2017

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15. It is okay to cry in front of your kids. If you never cry in front of your kids, they won’t think you are strong and powerful, they will think you are careless and cold. Teach your children that there are things so important to you that they bring you to tears. But make sure those things are really worth it. 

16. Don’t hold on too tight, but don’t let go too quickly. This is the catch-22 of parenthood. Work hard to raise your kids in such a way that they can make good choices on their own and live healthy lives dependent on God. But never, under any circumstances, let them think that they are no longer your baby girl or boy. I want my children to always feel safe when they return home. 

17. Learn about your children’s favorite things. Want to really strengthen your relationships with your kids? Get to know what they love and learn to love it too. This is not in any way disingenuous; rather, it shows how important they are to you. I don’t feign interest in the things my kids like. Instead, I cultivate genuine interest in those things by spending time doing them. For example, my daughter loves to play board games. At her age, most of these games don’t pose a huge challenge to parents. But, because I love her, I spend time playing those games with her, and have done so enough that I now love to play them with her. 

18. Splurge on your kids to teach them responsibility. Don’t be a tight wad! Not all fun things cost money, thank goodness. But sometimes they do, and you should occasionally splurge on your kids, even if it means putting off the purchase of something else you think you need. Doing this teaches them that they are important to you; that good behavior should be rewarded; and that God has called us to lives of generosity. Along with the occasional splurge, if you are going to eat out at restaurants, make sure you tip well. Few things damage our witness for Christ (for our families and others) more consistently than stinginess, and believe me, when you go out to eat after church and leave a ten-cent tip on a fifty dollar total, the servers are equating your tight-wadiness with your Christianity. 



19. Being a daddy is more important than anything else you will ever do in life. If you think your main legacy should be anything other than raising your kids to love Jesus and experience confidence in who He created them to be, then you are wrong. 

20. Pray with and over your children. If you have any hope of all these other things, then your first step should be to pray regularly with and for your children. Commit their care to God, ask Him to guide you as a parent to be Christ to them, and teach them to speak with their heavenly Father often and intimately. God will answer these prayers and will bless your family abundantly for the asking. 

This post is adapted from Practicing Fatherhood:  20 lessons from a young dad by Isaac N Hopper.


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Practicing Fatherhood: Part Two

10/25/2017

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5. Saying sorry isn’t just for kids. I tell my kids when I am wrong, and I ask their forgiveness when I have wronged them. I had a talk with my daughter recently about the wrong way and right way to deal with disappointment; one way can lead us to sin in anger, while the other leads us to patience and contentment. I openly used an example of my own sin of losing my temper as a way to talk about what God would have us do, and what we can and should do when we have taken the wrong direction. You are your child’s most important role model. How can they model you well if you don’t ever talk about your failures? 

6. Say “I love you” often, and mean it every time. You simply cannot say “I love you” too much to your children. They will have many voices vying for their attention as they grow. Let the dominant voice be your voice, echoing our heavenly Father: “You are my beloved child, in you I am well pleased.” 

7. It is okay to let your daughter paint your nails and brush your hair. Dads, get over yourselves. If letting your little girl paint your nails makes you question your masculinity, you have much bigger problems to deal with. Let your daughter lavish you with her love the best way she knows how. 

8. Answer every question your children ask with utmost seriousness. One sure way to tear down a child is to treat them as though they are not important. If your child asks you a question, do everything in your power not only to answer it, but to answer it well. This shows your kids that they are important to you, that the things they have to say are worthy of your attention, and you might just learn something along the way. 

9. Don’t shy away from talking about “big things” with your kids. Some of the most challenging conversations I have ever had with any person (adult or child) I have had with my daughter and son. We have talked about death, heaven and the resurrection of the dead, the Trinity, the Crucifixion, you name it. Don’t underestimate your child’s capacity for understanding. Talking to your children about important things will challenge you to communicate well, using language that is accessible without diluting the content. And who would you rather they hear this stuff from? Society is already telling your child what they should think about big questions. Are you? 

10. Be your child’s biggest fan. I am unashamed in my overwhelming support of everything my kids do. We try to praise all of our kids’ accomplishments, big or small. I’ve heard the argument that this makes praise cheap. I disagree. I think it makes praise a precious commodity. When we praise our children often, we not only instill in them a sense of confidence, but we show them the proper source of affirmation is the family. They will be less likely to seek that affirmation elsewhere in destructive relationships or behaviors if they receive it adequately at home. There is a caution that comes with this, though. Praising your kids for their accomplishments does not mean giving empty praise. That leads to the phenomenon of the “American Idol generation” where people with no talent whatsoever can’t understand their failure, because their mom has always told them they were the best at whatever they pursued. 

11. Embarrass yourself often. My kids will come to loathe this, I am sure, but I have no qualms whatsoever about embarrassing myself for their sake. If I can do something ludicrous (but safe and legal) that will get a smile out of them and endear me to them in any way, you better believe I will do it. 



12. Fight for your kids (and their mother). Never allow anyone or anything to come between you and your family. If there are other things vying for their attention that cause stress in your relationships to one another, fight with all your might against those things. Part of fighting for your family is loving them extravagantly. Part of this fight is also waging war against those things that can tear a family apart. Dads (in particular) this means workaholism, sexual misconduct (including pornography), friendships with the opposite sex, sports fanaticism, etc. If what you do threatens your family in any way, flee from it! 

13. Be present for what matters to your kids (i.e., birthday parties, concerts at school, etc.). I have had to learn this lesson the hard way. At the end of my life, my children will not remember or care all that much about the things I have accomplished. They will not care how much money I made, how many letters I have after my name, what my research focus was, or how good my golf game was. They will care about and remember the time I spent with them. Be present for every important event in your child’s life, if at all possible. And when you miss such an event, make it up to them by spending extra time with them, doing something you both love. There were times growing up when I told my parents I didn’t care if they came to this or that event. No matter what your kids tell you, they notice and care if you aren’t there. 

14. Learn to dance, especially if you have a daughter. For many Dads (myself included), this goes hand-in-hand with #11 above. I don’t know why this is so, but believe me when I tell you that your daughter (and probably your son) loves to dance with you. Dancing always leads to joy and laughter.


This post is adapted from Practicing Fatherhood:  20 lessons from a young dad by Isaac N Hopper.

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Practicing Fatherhood:  Part One

10/24/2017

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Some of the simplest lessons I have learned about being a father have been the most important for my children, and I have come to discover things that challenged what I previously thought about what it means to be a loving father. I have compiled this short list of lessons that I have learned over my years as a father in the hope that it might encourage others as they seek to live into that most precious gift they will ever receive and most important job title they will ever hold. 

1. After feeding, clothing, and sheltering my children, there is no more important task that I have in life than to introduce them to Jesus. Why don’t I follow the Sunday school answer to everything and put Jesus first here? Because God has given my children to my care, and caring for their needs in a loving, self-sacrificial way is one of the most prominent ways that I can show my children who God is and how much He loves them. This, in turn, helps me to communicate with them how Jesus is the ultimate image of God’s love. 



2. Play is the great bridge that crosses all other barriers between a father and a child.There have been times, especially with my son, where the kids don’t want much to do with Daddy. This most often happens when I am researching and working long hours or after I have taken a long trip. There are some hurt feelings upon my return, because I wasn’t there when they wanted me to be. There are also those times following discipline, or hurt feelings, or booboos when it is especially hard to talk with a child. It is at these times, in particular, that the act of playing can bring a child out of gloominess and into the joy of life. More than that, play is one of the greatest ways to bond with your children. It shows them that they are important, that their daddy (or mommy) wants to spend time with them, that their imaginations are good and wonderful, and that family time is some of the most enjoyable time of our lives. There have been many times when I did not play with my children, because I was distracted or feeling unwell. I regret every missed opportunity to play with them, and pray that God will give me the energy and “fun-lovingness” to play with them at every future opportunity. 

3. Being right is less important than being real. I am an “answer man.” I like to figure out why things work, how they came to be, and why it matters. It’s what makes me enjoy my research. However, I have found that when it comes to my children there are times when an answer man is needed (like when my son asks me what various animals eat), and there are times when I should keep my mouth shut, even when my urge is to correct something that is wrong. For a child who is growing and learning, it is more important for them to know their daddy is listening to them and learning with them than it is for daddy to have all the right answers.



4. Discipline should always be conducted out of love, and never in anger. Discipline administered in anger damages relationships. It is often too harsh (and uncontrolled), too swift, and too dismissive of your child. Loving discipline has at its heart the well-being of your child. Discipline doled out in anger is more often seeking retribution. 


This post is adapted from Practicing Fatherhood:  20 lessons from a young dad by Isaac N Hopper.

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Increasing your Daddy power

10/23/2017

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Niels Bohr said, “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” If that quotation is true, I must be getting pretty close to being an expert father by now.  Hopefully though, I’ve learned from the mistakes I’ve made.  The mark of a good leader and a good father is just that—the ability to learn from mistakes.  The man who doesn’t is doomed to repeat them over and over again.  The following areas are some tips about fathering that I’ve discovered over the years.  I list these not because I’ve perfected these areas, but because I finally recognize them for how important they really are.

Tip #1 – Emphasize Strengths not Weaknesses.  As a father I have a tendency to focus on the things my children do wrong instead of the things they do right.  But as a coach I tell my players to focus on their strengths not their weaknesses. Help find your son’s and daughter’s strengths–their gifts from God.  Focus on those instead of being overly critical of their weaknesses.

Tip #2 – Give Plenty of Physical Affection.  As men we are uncomfortable with too much physical affection–especially from another male.  But our kids (in fact all of us) have a craving for healthy masculine affection.  When our children have it, they are blessed.  When children do not have healthy masculine affection, they will accept unhealthy masculine affection in its place.  Hug and kiss your kids—even your son.  Give them plenty of physical love.  Even as they get older, continue to show them physical affection.

Tip #3 – Give Them Your Time.  It’s almost a cliché to quote the song by Harry Chapin, “Cats in the Cradle,” to illustrate the consequences of a father being too absorbed in his work when his son is young.  The reality is that most of us men are given the vision that in order to be a success in life we must be successful in our work—that our career is more important than anything else in life.  Time is the most valuable, and the most limited, resource we have to give to our children.  Your kids need your time more than they need your money—just ask any fatherless child.

Tip # 4 – Heart over Performance.  Too often, I have a tendency to judge my children’s efforts by their performance.  The reality is that an individual can do his personal best in an area in which he is not gifted, and still fall short of average performance.  Likewise, a person can be gifted and do well in an area while applying very little effort.  Which scenario should they be applauded most for?  I think the kind of heart they have is what should be encouraged.

Tip # 5 – Have Fun.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the complexities and stresses of everyday life.  This is especially true for those who take responsibilities seriously.  But part of a dad’s charm is his ability to have fun.  Let yourself go and remember the all the goofy things that make life worth living.  Have fun with your children while they’re still little.  Take some time to just goof-off.  There will be plenty of time to be serious and somber.  One of the things kids appreciate most about their fathers is his sense of humor.  When Dad has life under control, he values the humorous side of life and shows it to his kids.

Tip # 6 – Don’t Fear Failure.  I spent much of my life avoiding anything I wasn’t perfect at because I was afraid to fail.  This has caused me to have a number of regrets.  The regrets I have in life are mostly of things I didn’t do–not what I did do.  Oh, I regret some things I’ve done over the years (I’ve done many things I’m not proud of), but I don’t regret my sins of commission like I do my sins of omission.  Missed opportunities, an apathetic attitude, and not seeking significance were all choices I made which I regret deeply. I was raised to believe that failure was the worst thing of all.  But it’s not.  I’ve come to understand that true failure is never reaching out to attempt something great, to try and reach your full potential.  You only fail when you don’t try or when you quit.

Tip # 7 – Understand Your Power.  Several years ago, during a rare bout of brutal self-honesty, I discovered that I treated my employees better than I did my wife and children.  I heard myself saying things to my family I would never say to my employees.  If another man had made those kinds of statements to my wife or kids, I would have physically confronted him.  Why did I feel free to verbally wound those I treasure more than anything else in the world with words that I would never dream of saying to a stranger?  God has given us men great power that can be used for good or evil.  Just look around at some of the problems men have created in other peoples’ lives.  Then look at some of the great things men have accomplished to benefit others.  It’s an awesome power.  But with that comes the need to understand it and use it responsibly.  Former U.N. Secretary General Dag Hammerskjöld said,“Only he deserves power who every day justifies it.”

Tip # 8 – Develop Friendships.  Most men in our country have acquaintances, but no real friends.  The pressures and time constraints of work and supporting a family often take away the opportunity to build masculine relationships.  But to be the best father possible, you need other men in your life to hold you accountable and to lift you up during difficult times.  Another man’s experiences are invaluable when we try to navigate some of the uncharted waters of fathering.

Isolation is death to a man’s character.  Perhaps that’s why our culture, seemingly bent on the destruction of positive masculinity, continues to promote the rugged individualist as the model for men to look up to.  But real men need other men.  We need the accountability, comradeship, support, and the help, that other men can provide.

Tip #9 – Be Consistent.  Being consistent is one of the strongest traits a man can bring to fathering.  Kids rely on you to be consistent in your responses no matter the circumstances.  They rely on you being dependable, a rock in the face of adversity.  When life throws a curve ball, they need Dad to be there to tell them it’s okay.  Think about how scared you would be if the leader you were following–maybe someone you thought was strong or even invincible–were to suddenly become very frightened or to exhibit erratic, out-of-control behavior during a stressful situation.  Would you want to follow that person again?  I wouldn’t.  Your emotional stability, especially in stressful situations, provides your kids with the security they need in order to grow into a healthy man or woman.  A father’s wrath can be very frightening to his children.  You can’t keep stressful situations from happening, but you can control how you react to them.  Teach your kids that a man keeps his head while others around him lose theirs.

Tip #10 – Overcome Complacency & Passivity.  Complacency and passivity are two of the biggest enemies that hinder our fathering abilities.  Many men think they do not matter.  But one man does matter.  In the movie Schindler’s List, Liam Neeson stars as Oskar Schindler, a German industrialist during World War II.  In an effort to capitalize on the war he acquired a factory in Poland which he ran with the cheapest labor around—Jewish labor.  At first he seemed like every other greedy German industrialist, driven by profit and unmoved by the means of his profiteering. But somewhere along the line, something changed. He succeeded in his quest for riches, but by the end of the war he had spent everything he made on keeping 1,100 Jewish men and women alive.  He literally bought their lives by having them work in his factory.

As a father you are not perfect, but you’re just good enough to be irreplaceable in the lives of your children.  You have the power to lift your children up to more than they could ever be without you, or the power to crush them with just a word or by your absence.  Use that power responsibly.



This post was written by Marcus Brotherton.  For the original post, go to:  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2012/07/10-tips-for-better-dads-2/

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Uncle Buddy:  The Five things necessary to get you to heaven

10/22/2017

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There are five things that a man must believe and be in possession of to get into heaven. You will understand that there are many things that he may have and might be able to use for his own good and for the glory of God, but there are only five things according to the Old Book that are essential.

First, we must accept the atonement; for we read in Heb. 9: 22, "without shedding of blood is no remission." So we see in this text that we must accept the atonement in order to get rid of sin.

Second, we read in Luke 13: 3 the words of Jesus, "Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." So we see in this text that it is necessary to repent in order to get to heaven. And St. Paul tells us in II Cor. 7: 8-10 that repentance is a godly sorrow for sin. Now you will notice that these two things are essential, the atonement and repentance.

Third, we read in Heb. 11:6 the words of the great apostle as he says, "Without faith it is impossible to please him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." We see faith is one of the essentials in order to get to heaven.

Fourth, we read in John 3: 3 the words of Jesus, "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." So we see the new birth is one of the essentials, as we go up the scale toward heaven.

Fifth, in Heb. 12: 14 the apostle tells us that we must "follow peace with all men, and holiness without which no man shall see the Lord."

So these are the five essentials -- the atonement, repentance, faith, the new birth, and holiness. These are the five things that you must have.

Amen! I am in possession of them right now.


Robinson, Reuben A. (Bud). The Collected Works of 'Uncle Bud' Robinson (Kindle Locations 2706-2719). Jawbone Digital. Kindle Edition. 




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