Category: Sex

10 Ways Cyberporn Damages Marriage

07/22/2014

Here are ten of the leading ways in which a man’s use of Internet pornography can damage marital love, according to Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons of the Institute for Marital Healing:

Growth in narcissism, the major enemy of marital love.
Lack of refinement in self-giving to the romantic aspect of marriage and to the intimate relationship.
Obsession with one’s own pleasure.
Decreased self-giving to one’s spouse.
Diminished communication with one’s spouse and harm to the marital friendship.
Damage to the wife’s ability to trust and then to experience pleasure with her husband.
Marital loneliness, anger and conflicts.
A disordered view of beauty, goodness, the human person and sexuality.
Increased vulnerability to commit adultery.
Marital separation.

This post was written by Dr Fitzgibbons. For the original post, go to: http://www.foryourmarriage.org/ten-ways-cyberporn-damages-marriage/

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Greek Uncleanness

04/22/2014

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Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness.

Yesterday we discussed adultery (porneia).  Today, we are going to talk about uncleanness and tomorrow, conclude this three part series on Galatians 5:19 with a look at lasciviousness.

The word uncleanness is the Greek word akatharsia, which is the word kathairowith prefix a added. The word kathairo means cleansed or pure but when you add the prefix a, the condition is reversed, making the object dirty or unclean. In the New Testatment, akatharsia refers to lewd or unclean thoughts that eventually produce lewd or unclean actions. So, there is a strong suggestion that actions begin in the mind as unclean thoughts before they manifest as unclean deeds.

"And there was in the synagogue a man with an unclean spirit..." The Greek actually says that this man was "gripped by the control of an unclean spirit." It seems that this man had pondered on lewd thoughts for so long that he had thrown open the door for these to seize and control him. In this verse the word akatharsia is used. It implies that a demon found entrance into this man's life because he had committed mental prostitution. He allowed his mind to dwell on things that were forbidden.

"A man with an unclean spirit met him..."   Here akatharsia is used in describing the man possessed by a legion of demons. In Mark chapter one and now in chapter five, we have two men who are in the grip of an unclean spirit. It appears that their demon-possessed condition started with impure, lewd, dirty thoughts, since the Greek word akatharsia is used in both verses. Did Satan lure them into the pornography of unclean ideas or into adultery, and then build a stronghold of uncleanness so robust in their minds that he was able to eventually cause unclean actions to be manifested in their lives and thus completely control them?

Whatever you give your mind to will eventually be your master.

Tomorrow, we will discuss the word lasciviousness.

This study is taken from Sparkling Gems from the Greek

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Male sexuality quiz: Answers

03/21/2014

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Yesterday, we had a quick quiz on nine commons areas of male sexuality. Today, we are giving the answers.

1. FALSE. Some start as early as eleven. Generally, though it
is between fourteen and seventeen.

2. FALSE. Many physical reasons can cause impotence, including hardening of the penile arteries, disease, medication and hormonal fluctuations.

3. TRUE. Many elderly people report strong sexual interests into old age.

4. FALSE. Often psychological reasons (guilt) may inhibit orgasm but so can temporary stress in most men.

5. FALSE. Reflex circuits, such as when the bladder is full, can cause nocturnal erections.

6. TRUE. Forget about trying an aphrodisiac. The best love-producer is old-fashioned caring and tenderness.

7. FALSE. No evidence supports this belief. Sex serves many functions but normal sex does not drain energy.

8. TRUE. In older men, men with certain physical conditions or with certain medications, the ejaculant goes into the bladder (retrograde ejaculation) due to the valves not working properly. The ejaculant is expelled with urine. There is nothing wrong with this unless the man and his wife are trying to conceive.

9. TRUE and FALSE. Men have been known to have heart attacks during sex but also during sleep. Sex is no more risky than mild exercise but men should get treatment anyway for any heart problem.

Taken from The Sexual Man: Masculinity without guilt

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Male sexuality quiz

03/20/2014

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Here is a quiz to test your knowledge about male sexuality. Don't be surprised if you get many of the answers wrong. You're in good company, because many studies have shown that the average person knows little about sexuality and even less about male sexuality.

Answer True or False to the following questions:

1. The earliest age at which the average male adolescent has sexual intercourse is fourteen.

2. Impotence, or difficulty sustaining an erection, is always psychological in origin.

3. Sexual desire and sexual activity in the male often extend well into old age.

4. A man's failure to achieve orgasm is a sign of dysfunction.

5. When a man experiences an erection while sleeping it is because he is having a sexual dream.

6. There is no food or drink that is especially effective as an aphrodisiac.

7. Sex the night before a sports event will drain an athlete's energy.

8. A man can reach orgasm without ejaculating.

9. Sexual intercourse is dangerous for a man who has had a heart attack.

Tomorrow we will discuss the answers.

Taken from The Sexual Man: Masculinity without guilt

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What is normal? - Answers

03/19/2014

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Yesterday, we took a quiz on sex for men. Today, we will explore the answers:

1. Somewhat true. Regardless of what some say, many men say they felt forced into unwanted sex to either prove themselves or comply with peer pressure.

2. True. Data suggests that "very religious" men are more vulnerable to sexual sin than "religious men."

3. True. High cholesterol can inhibit full erections.

4. False. Men do not experience menopause. Hormones decline gradually but the majority of men remain sexually interested until they die. However, frequency of sexual behavior does decline.

5. False. At first, when married, men decrease the frequency of their masturbation. However, the behavior of masturbating to pornography that was learned in adolescence is often difficult to break.

6. True. Men in American culture are obsessed with giving and receiving oral sex. However, many women find this type of sexual activity quite repugnant.

7. False. When men get married, lust does not subside. Men must learn to redirect their arousal back to their spouse.

8. True. A sexually repressed upbringing creates excessive guilt around sexual feelings and may set up an obsessive need for masturbation.

9. D. Most men think about sex several times a day, often several times within the same hour. This does not change as a man grows older.

10. D. 70% of men complain that they don't get enough sex compared with 58 % of women.

11. B. The average American male has his first sexual encounter at age 16. However, as the age of puberty continues to drop, there are reports that many males have their first experience at age 11 or younger.

12. D. Most males have their sexual beliefs shaped by pornography. Pornography distorts a man's view of how women feel about sex and what can be reasonably expected from sex and sets them up for disappointment. Real women cannot possibly measure up to the air-brushed, color-enhanced, glossy photography that pornography teaches men is the standard.

Adapted from The Sexual Man: Masculinity without guilt

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What is normal? - A quiz

03/18/2014

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Men have many concerns. One of every man's concerns is wondering if he is normal, especially in regard to his sex life.

Ponder your answer to these questions, and tomorrow, we will discuss the answers:

The first eight questions are answered "TRUE" or "FALSE"

1. More men that women have experienced unwanted sexual intercourse.

2. More "very religious" men cheat on their wives than religious men.

3. Just as fat in the bloodstream can block arteries in the heart, so it starts to block blood flow in the penis preventing adequate erection.

4. Men also experience a male menopause.

5. After marriage, most men stop masturbating.

6. According to most sex counselors, what most men complain about is not getting enough oral sex.

7. Getting married remedies all the problems men have with lust.

8. Boys who were sexually repressed while growing up are more likely to become obsessed with masturbation and pornography when they are grown up.

Choose which answer you believe is most correct for the remaining four:
9. How often does the healthy, average male think about sex?
a) once a month, b) once a week, c) once a day, d) once an hour

10. How many men complain that they don't get enough sex?
a) 20%, b) 35%, c) 50%, d) 70%

11. The average age at which the American male first has sex is:
a) 14, b) 16, c) 18, d) 20

12. From where does the average young male learn about sex:
a) parents & siblings, b) friends, c) books, d) pornography

Adapted from The Sexual Man: Masculinity without guilt

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Is fantasy healthy?

03/17/2014

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Choose yes or no in response to the following questions:

Can you only become sexually aroused if you imagine having sex with someone other than your partner?

Do you use fantasy to make up for what you believe is missing from your love life?
When you are troubled or anxious do you tend to turn to sexual fantasies to forget about your problems?
Do your sexual fantasies involve activities that you wouldn't dare do in real life?
Are your fantasies such that you would never share them with your spouse?
Do your sexual fantasies occupy a lot of your working hours, taking you away from other activities?
Do you believe deep down that your fantasies hurt your relationship with your spouse, causing you to be unhappy or dissatisfied with your marriage?

If you answered "yes" to any of the previous questions, your fantasy life is not healthy and is undesirable. The more questions you answered yes, the greater a problem your fantasy life is to your sexuality.

Taken from The Sexual Man: Masculinity without guilt

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Predators use apps to get to your kids

02/06/2014

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I just got a disturbing call from a good friend. He told me that his son went missing in the middle of the nite. He and his wife were frantic trying to find him. Later, in the early morning, their son showed up on the doorstep. This boy is a young teenager.

He and the police are putting pieces of the puzzle together to try and figure out what happened. From what they can surmise, it appears that a man stole their boy right out of their house and sexually assaulted him.

How did this happen? My friend is an excellent father, he is diligent and watches over his children well. How could a man come into their home and do this?

Well, this creep came in thru their internet connection. They are learning that this man made a friendship with their son thru chatrooms and other social media. In fact, this predator specifically contacted this boy thru an app on his iPad. This man won their son's confidence to the point where he walked out of their home into the car of the man waiting outside, in the middle of the night.

My friend and his wife have talked to their son about the internet, put in place the proper barriers and have done an excellent job at being great parents. It's hard to believe that this sort of thing could happen in their home.

Why tell you this?

I am using this example as a warning to all parents and kids out there. You can never be too careful. You are NEVER alone on the internet. People are not always what they appear to be on the internet.

As you finish reading this, please don't do these three things:
1) Don't judge my friend. He is an excellent father.
2) Don't tell my friend what he should have done differently.
3) Don't think that this could never happen to your family

As you finish reading this, please do these four things:
1) pray for my friend and his family as they get thru this horrible ordeal
2) pray that they find a good, competent, licensed Christian counselor
3) pray that the police catch this predator and that he turns from his sinfulness
4) pray for your kids, teach them, watch them, love them, protect them, pray that such an occurrence never happens in your family.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sex with robots

01/31/2014

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What if you have sex with an inanimate object, like a robot? A robot that's programmed to respond to your touch, talk to you and to appear to be human? Would that be acceptable behavior to a loving, holy, just God?

An article states that the technology is almost there. Two researchers from New Zealand claim that they will be revolutionizing the sex industry. The article reports that "Part of their research involved the hypothetical creation of an Amsterdam sex club called “Yub-Yum,” where robot women create a land rife with “sexual gods and goddesses of different ethnicities, body shapes, ages, languages and sexual features.” Douglas Hines, the founder of the world's first sex robot company states, "One of the benefits of sex robots is that they remove exploitation of women from the equation, and the sex trade of underage [partners],” Hines added. “Underage women are exploited to meet the desires of others, whereas with the robots, there is no exploitation of anyone.”

What are the implications of such an invention? Is this the "safe" alternative for men? Since this is not "real" sex, would God approve of such? Let's think about this a bit...

1. Sex with a robot will train the sexual response to someone other than one's spouse.

2. This product will not remove exploitation of women. Sex for hire is hollow. However, it is not as hollow as having sex with a soulless object. One will eventually tire of robotic sex in favor of human sex.

3. To have sex with a robot fashioned after one's desires will reinforce some perversions. For example, if a man is attracted to children, he can have children robots. Eventually, this will become unsatisfactory and the man will want to have sex with an actual child.

4. Jesus, the revolutionary, taught a principle almost 2000 years ago that speaks to this. Jesus said that if you lust, you have committed adultery. Jesus made it clear that sin, especially sexual sin, needs to be taken care of at the heart level not the behavior level. Sexual sin starts in the heart.

5. Paul, the author of a good deal of the New Testament, states that joining yourself with a prostitute is the same as uniting Christ with a prostitute. The same principle applies for having sex with a robot. You would be uniting Christ with a robot.

5. Sexual behavior with inanimate objects is not sex. Sex is a loving, passionate, committed physical, emotional and spiritual connection between a man and woman who are married to each other.

Whaddyathink? Sex with a robot? Not me. It's too robotic. I want the real thing. A loving, committed marriage fashioned according to God's design is much more pleasurable. And it's good for you. Research shows that's the best sex.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Teaching your kids about sexuality

12/30/2013

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Young children are naked and unashamed, quite often literally. They are fascinated with their bodies—who has what, why one child is a girl and another a boy. They have observations to share and questions to ask. Young children are ready to be primed, through needed conversation, for what it means to experience themselves as sexual beings who will one day be capable of sexual intimacy as faithful disciples of Jesus Christ.

Awkwardness often silences this conversation before it can begin. The vocabulary is off-putting. Do you use anatomical terminology for physical identification or slang terms? What if you introduce the words penis and vulva to your young children and they actual use them in public? The conversation is emotional. Many parents had no conversation with their own parents, or a bad one they do not care to repeat. Reality is our young children will not be young forever. They will grow up to be men and women with a capacity and desire for sexual intimacy. A conversation is needed to prepare them well. So how do we begin?

Choose Your Terms - It is important to decide the language for the conversation. Anatomical terminology models normalcy and encourages open communication. A boy has a penis and scrotum. A girl has a vulva and vagina. This reality is as normal as our having legs and arms. Anatomical terms encourage communication with caregivers, grandparents, doctors, and others who need to understand your child. Slang terms may be more comfortable, but may also lead to confusion of identification because there are so many. Choose your terms thoughtfully and purposefully because names have meaning and purpose.

Seek Out Support - Few parents have good models for this conversation. Support is available through books and articles. Before They Ask is a great resource for parents. The series God’s Design for Sex is a wonderful read for parents and families. Want face-to-face support? Form a group of parents in your church who are committed to raising children who are naked and unashamed with the prayer that they will use their body to the glory of God. Do you have questions? Maybe we can help. Above all, pray for knowledge and wisdom. God will equip a willing spirit for the task.

Start Where You Are - No one is ever ready for the full-blown conversation, but no one ever has to have “the full-blown conversation” at once if you make human sexuality an ongoing conversation, a natural part of life. We began with naming genitalia when our sons were just babies. You are in the middle of changing a diaper and your daughter touches her vulva. You simply name the body part she is in contact with, just like you would say “nose” when she grabs your nose. By the time she can ask questions, the conversation is already underway. Maybe you are potty training—perfect. Name his body parts used in the process as you encourage and instruct your little one. Are your children past all that? Get an age appropriate book to introduce the conversation. God’s Design for Sex offers The Story of Me and Before I was Born. Maybe you are pregnant or someone you know is. That is another great way to begin the conversation with your child.

Embrace the Questions - Your son finds a tampon or pad, and asks, “What’s this?” No need to re-direct or distract. Simply name the item in question. If your child is curious and asks for further explanation, briefly explain. “God made a special place in mommy’s body to grow a baby. Every month, a home is ready just in case a baby needs it. If there is no baby for the home, then the home is not needed. The home falls apart and leaves my body. This catches the home.”

Remember the Goal - The goal is not to name genitalia or be experts in human sexuality, but rather to encourage your children to live as they were created, naked and unashamed, with the hope that they will use their bodies throughout their lives to the glory of God. If you want this for your child, but experience emotions of discomfort or shame in regards to human sexuality, sort through your own emotions so you might be free to guide your child into the truth with love. This may be accomplished by an honest conversation with your spouse or, if you are single, a close friend. You might choose to work with a trained counselor. Whatever support or resources are involved, the goal remains the same—to know that we were created male and female, and God says it is good.

Prayer - Lord, grant us wisdom and courage to help our children claim the goodness of Your creation as male and female. May we raise children in the truth of your design, so that they may be free from sexual shame and confusion. Help us begin this needed conversation, so that it will continue from generation to generation bringing purity to Your children and glory to Your name. Amen.

This post was taken from the Seedbed blog, by E. Martin. For the original post, go to: http://seedbed.com/feed/a-much-needed-conversation-how-to-teach-your-kids-about-sexuality/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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10 Ways Cyberporn Damages Marriage

Greek Uncleanness

Male sexuality quiz: Answers

Male sexuality quiz

What is normal? - Answers

What is normal? - A quiz

Is fantasy healthy?

Predators use apps to get to your kids

Sex with robots

Teaching your kids about sexuality

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