Category: Reputation

Trippin' down memory lane

9/3/2014

I was talking to a gentleman at a bar and he made an interesting comment. "You know Sam that goes to your church? You should talk to him. He used to be one of the meanest men I've ever met." He proceeded to tell about some of Sam's antics. Some of Sam's antics were funny, some were off-color, and some were downright mean. I knew Sam came to our church but I didn't know him very well.

So, next Sunday, I found Sam after church and stopped him for a moment. I told him that I met a man earlier in the week who told me about him. I started to tell him a bit of what I heard and he interrupted me. What Sam said next startled me. He said, "Dale, I'm a Christian now. I am so ashamed of what I used to be. I was not a nice man. I cannot talk about it." Sam said this in such a manner that it was obvious that I had really hurt him. I quickly apologized to him and he excused himself.

Sam taught me an important lesson that day.

Do I take sin seriously?
Do I take my sin seriously?

On another occasion, I was having lunch with a friend who was a new Christian. In the midst of our conversation, he made this interesting comment, "As I grow in my faith, I learn how my past behavior, though forgiven, was shameful and wrong."

That's one of many reasons why I love hanging out with new Christians. They don't have all those defenses that "mature" Christians have.

My new friend taught me an important lesson that day.

Have I taken my sin seriously?
Am I truly repentant of what I have done in the past?

I'm not saying that I need to wallow in my past sinful behavior.
I'm not saying that I need to live a life full of guilt.

I just wonder if I take too many trips down memory lane, thinking about how much "fun" I used to have?

Do I feel godly sorrow for my past?
Do I feel regret for my past behavior?

These men taught me that a real man faces his past and takes responsibility for his behavior. A real man is sensitive to God's work in his life. A real man doesn't recall past sinful behavior in a positive manner. A real man is a new creation. He adamantly rejects sin.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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By what measure do you judge others?

4/24/2014

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Are we called to evaluate and judge someone by what he or she did, or by what that person does, by way of habit? After insisting that people who live wicked and impure lives will not enter heaven, as such demonstrate that they have not been born again by grace through a genuine faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, Paul writes: "In the past, some of you were like that, but you were washed clean. You were made holy, and you were made right with God in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God" (1 Cor. 6:11 NCV, emphasis added).

In the past, all of us have done (and said) ugly-natured, despicable acts. If one were to take a snapshot of a particular sin committed, as though that act were to encapsulate a person in his or her entirety, that would be wrong. No one who ever existed is defined by one or even a few negative or sinful acts. We all stumble in many ways (James 3:2), and none of us has yet arrived at perfection (Phil. 3:12). If we take one act, or one word, or even one unfruitful season in someone's life, and in a fit of strain force that moment to define a person, we not only falsely and unwarrantedly objectify the individual but we also incriminate ourselves because none of us has yet reached sinless perfection.

When I think of Samson, I do not necessarily think of his sin with Delilah and impose his infatuation and sin with her as the totality of his identity -- who he was as a human being. When I think of King David, I do not necessarily think of his sin with Uriah's wife Bathsheba and impose his sin with her as the totality of his identity -- who he was as a human being. I could admit the same with Solomon, whose life ended badly; and the apostle Paul, who murdered Christians prior to his conversion; or any number of people in the Bible who failed at moments in their life. Are we supposed to take snapshots of people's lives and claim, "This is who you are -- this defines you"?

I suppose the answer would be predicated upon an individual's repentance of certain failures or sins. For example, in the case of Jesus' betrayer Judas, we are never given glimpses of genuine repentance from his heart. What do we make, then, of Judas as a human being? What kind of man was he? Though called a disciple of Jesus Christ, we find his heart to be one of betrayal -- one of never really being loyal to Christ -- from the beginning.

Judas' heart and life differs significantly from that of the apostle Peter. Though Peter denied he knew Jesus on three separate occasions, he genuinely repented of his sin and was restored to a right relationship with Christ. Not so with Judas. Judas opened himself up to Satanic possession by his evil plans and motives. Instead of humbly, self-effacingly seeking repentance, he very selfishly committed suicide.

Portraying Judas as a betrayer can be derived not from a single event or a certain string of events but from the overall consistent attitude of his life. Portraying Peter as a betrayer, however, should not be derived from the three separate events of his having denied knowing Christ because his overall attitude was one of love for Christ in spite of his inconsistencies.

The reality is, however, that I no more want to be thought of as "that one who did this or that" than the apostle Peter wanted to always be thought of as "that guy who denied Christ," or David as "that guy who committed adultery and had her husband killed in battle." I remember someone's statement to another person who had committed a terrible act: "This is what you did -- this is not who you are; this does not define you."

When someone's sins and failures become public knowledge there is a temptation to take a snapshot and define him or her by that event. But there exists a type of deception within the hearts of those who take snapshots and define others by them. They tend to think that because their struggles and failures and sins are private then they are not or should not be defined by them.They are not willing to be as stringent with themselves as they are with others. But Jesus said that you "will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you" (Matt. 7:2 NCV).

The apostle Paul adds, "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others" (Col. 3:13 NLT). Since "it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it" (James 4:17), and "the person who keeps all the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God's laws" (James 2:10), then I think we need to extend a bit more grace to each other, not defining each other by any failure(s) but by the grace of God in Christ.

This post was written anonymously. You can find the original at: http://credendum.weebly.com/1/post/2014/04/by-what-measure-do-you-judge-others.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Stuck with porn at work

3/13/2014

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A common problem that men have is how to handle it when a coworker has pornography at work. This is a very touchy issue.

What do you do when men are gathered around on the work site looking at pictures of naked women?

If a guy doesn't participate, he is "hen-pecked" or "gay" or.... The name calling starts and the accusations fly if a guy isn't "one of the guys." He's not a "team player." What's a man to do in these situations? After all, he has a reputation to protect.

Reputation is the key word in this story. Reputation is the answer. Jesus took His reputation and laid it all on the line for us so that we could have strength in times like this. Jesus could have been satisfied to leave things the way they were and stayed in heaven. However, He put aside His reputation, His Deity, to become like us. He risked, knowing that His Father would take care of His reputation.

Like yesterday's post, honesty is needed. Asking God for strength to be vulnerable and transparent is how you handle porn at work. Have the gumption to step up and tell your coworkers why looking at porn is not healthy. Let them know that there is much more to a woman than just what she does to make a man feel sexual.

You know what will happen if you take this step? Like Jesus, you may be crucified. I don't mean that these guys will string you up and kill you but they will belittle you. They will tell you that you are not a real man. They will tease you because they want you to participate in their sinfulness.

You know what else will happen? There will always be at least one guy who agrees with you. He may not publicly, but he will at least come to you privately or at least not join in when the teasing starts.

If you stick to your integrity and respect women, you will make a statement. You will only have to say it once. Your statement will have an impact. If you never participate with them in objectifying women from that point on, God's Holy Spirit will work on these men. They will watch you. So, if you have integrity in everything you do at work, they will see it and they will change.

Your reputation? Don't worry about it. God will protect your reputation if you are doing what He wants. A real man respects and honors women. A real man stands up for what is right, even if it means standing alone.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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What to do when you don't like the one you love

1/8/2014

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Through the adventure of making a life together, I’m thankful it is not uncommon to sometimes feel a little lost, tired or even exasperated by the path. Ten years ago, when I married, I remember thinking “That won’t be us…that doesn’t have to be us.” In my naiveté, I thought true love was a protective force that could keep us immune from common relationship struggles. I have come to realize that being an exception is not a mark of more passionate or powerful love. Love becomes powerful and passionate as we embrace the common struggles, learning to survive and wrestle through them. There is more love in the act of perseverance than avoidance. Being lucky is not the same as being loyal.

Relationships are sometimes credited as good or strong because there is the absence of hardship. However, there is a difference between living in a way that is tidy versus in a way that is steadfast. Sacrifice forges love and challenges every cheap imitation of love within us to measure up. In this way, I have found my marriage to be humbling and confrontational to my methods of self-preservation. And frankly, I have always hated that, before becoming deeply grateful for the way this sacrament has been a means of grace and growing up, too. I am learning to trust in the process of covenanting. There have been seasons of our marriage where we weren’t sure we were going to make it, days when I didn’t want to make it anymore and recovery felt hopelessly illusive. This article is written with those seasons in mind and for the couples that like us, have felt the anguish and heartache of being in it.

When you’re questioning love because you no longer like the person you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with, well, that’s a bit of an awkward place. I remember emotionally-charged thoughts running through my mind, “I can’t stand you…we are a mistake…you are the enemy of my soul.” I harbored feelings of nauseating disgust and total annoyance, met by equally endearing bitterness from my spouse. Was there a way back to love when you take offense at the mere presence or personality of your beloved? We were disillusioned, exhausted and frustrated. Attempts to work things out fell flat and seemed futile. Friends would divorce and it made us wonder what was worth saving about our dilapidated marriage. I felt as though I had become the worst version of myself.

When I would feel stuck, insecure or claustrophobic, I would start moving further away from the relationship, as if I was somehow going to find myself if I could be more on my own. Perhaps that’s what I tried to convince myself of to justify the distance. I would invest myself into the places where my presence was being praised and yielding higher returns of appreciation such as work, ministry, various hobbies and friendships. He would do the same and our lives would run merely parallel without much actual connection. It seemed to be better than outright fighting but I think we were just sinking deeper into the quicksand.

We didn’t know what to do or how to fix things. We just knew we needed something to change because we were both dying. We felt like our marriage was killing us. And that became the turning point. Our marriage was killing us, we did need a change and finally admitting that we didn’t know what to do opened us up to consider more options. That was terrifying to recognize but it also brought just enough relief from the oppression for hope to spark again, too. We let others help us make space for hard, honest dialogue about what we were each going through. The process was painful and full of mistakes. We were learning to stop fighting one another to fight for every piece of ground to regain for our marriage, most of which we had to build over again, in a new, different and healthy way. But it was new through redemption. It was still us, still our life and circumstances. First surrendered then re-shaped and reclaimed, like restoring some discarded, dysfunctional treasure becoming repurposed. We were experiencing a beginning again. It came at a price though, letting go and saying goodbye to many of the ways we had become familiar with. Here were some of the lifelines that helped us make the journey back to one another:

We had to get honest and open. We had felt on our own because despite how many couples go through this, no one really knows how to talk about it. There came a point though, when I didn’t care who found out how messed up we were. We were committed to figure out how to get better and that meant being authentic through whatever it took. That wasn’t permission to be mean, it just meant healing was going to require us to be brave and gracious.

We leaned into the relationship. When we were leaning out, it was an escape from facing issues that were upsetting, unresolved or embarrassing. We find our most true self in relationship to one another, not outside of it. I’m a seemingly wonderful person when no one is close enough to activate how selfish I can be. Intimacy leads me to work on vulnerability and sensitivity where I can discover what it takes to be truly humble, sacrificial and loving, too. Our goal wasn’t so much to get back to who we were before but to move forward into who we could be and what we could have together in our marriage.

We each did self-care. We had been relying on the other to meet too many of our own needs that we weren’t taking responsibility for ourselves. That kind of pressure wasn’t fair and only resulted in disappointment. We made more space for each of the ways we found rejuvenation. We honored what the individual needed to be healthier and our relational health improved too.

We built up our network of resources. Our resiliency progressed when we had more to draw from. We sought out couples who were more experienced, read good books to increase what we could learn, made more enjoyable memories and sought professional help. Not everything worked but our context grew and we learned from all of it.

We found ways to celebrate. We went on adventures and dates and caught ourselves laughing together again. We played. We simplified. We found an “us” we had lost. We became alive when we celebrated and so we started changing it from a rare luxury to a frequent reminder of the joy we found in being together. By holding onto these anchors, they helped us hold each other again. We saw affection and tenderness grow. These are elements more fragile and responsive than I knew. I’m challenged to cherish my spouse more. I deeply value the lessons but there is no formula. Even as I write this today, I believe there’s no guarantee we’ll make it. But I don’t put stock in a guarantee anymore anyway. We’re going to keep living out our vows, discovering the depths and challenges of what that looks like for today and tomorrow and the day after that. So, I write this for me too, with hope that I’ll return to these truths if I find myself again at the threshold of a season that no longer needs to scare me.

We all have parts of our path that we don’t like going through. You may feel lost but know that you are not gone. There is a way back, it just may require a little trailblazing. Journey well, fellow travelers.

This post was written by Seedbed blogger, Kelly Grace. For the original post, go to: http://seedbed.com/feed/journey-back-longer-like-one-love/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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A caution for alcohol drinking Christians

1/7/2014

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Something disturbing has crept into the american church and it’s not pretty.

Many Christians have allowed themselves to take drinking alcohol lightly.

Now before you start throwing the legalistic stones at me, let me first make the following clear:

I don’t believe drinking alcohol is a sin.

(Editorial comment by Ironstrikes: I agree, drinking alcohol is not a sin. However, as a member of the Church of the Nazarene, I vowed before God and His congregation that I would abstain from the use of alcohol. I believe in honoring my vows.)

Of course, getting drunk is. Alcohol is one of the biggest killers in our society, and as always it continues to take a destructive toll on marriages and families.

But, there’s another problem:

The often overlooked sin that is rearing its ugly head are Christians displaying their love and consumption of alcohol to those around them in public and on social media, when there are many around them that struggle with this temptation and addiction.

The Apostle Paul addressed a similar situation when dealing with those in the church arguing over whether they could eat meat sacrificed to idols. Paul declared that even though they had the freedom to eat meat sacrificed to idols, they should love those that struggled with this practice enough to not do it front of them.

1 Cor. 8:9-13
But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

We sin against other Christians and “wound their conscience” (as well as sin against Christ) when we openly act in a way that would cause them to stumble.

Now, before you say you only do this with others that are like-minded or with your spouse, let me ask the following questions:

Do you highlight or joke about your drinking in person or on social media (posting pictures of your margarita, wine or bottles of beer)?

Do you drink in public when there’s a good chance you might meet someone struggling with alcohol?

Like it or not, people hold Christians to a higher standard (as they should). Do you love alcohol so much that you’re willing to let your witness be tarnished? Do you love your “freedom” so much that you could care less how it affects another brother or sister?

This isn’t about rules being broken. This is about loving our brother and sister enough to limit our freedom in Christ so as to not cause them to stumble.

Would you consider this truth?

I love you and I don’t want anything to dim the light that’s shining in and through you.

This post was written by Pastor Nathan Rouse. For the original post with comments, go to: http://www.nathanrouse.org/2014/01/01/a-caution-for-every-christian-that-drinks-alcohol/

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Switchfoot doesn't sing "Christian" songs

12/13/2013

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Lead singer Jon Foreman was asked if Switchfoot is a “Christian” band. His response is worth pondering.

“To be honest, this question grieves me because I feel that it represents a much bigger issue than simply a couple SF tunes. In true Socratic form, let me ask you a few questions: Does Lewis or Tolkien mention Christ in any of their fictional series? Are Bach’s sonata’s Christian? What is more Christ-like, feeding the poor, making furniture, cleaning bathrooms, or painting a sunset? There is a schism between the sacred and the secular in all of our modern minds.

The view that a pastor is more ‘Christian’ than a girls volleyball coach is flawed and heretical. The stance that a worship leader is more spiritual than a janitor is condescending and flawed. These different callings and purposes further demonstrate God’s sovereignty.

Many songs are worthy of being written. Switchfoot will write some, Keith Green, Bach, and perhaps yourself have written others. Some of these songs are about redemption, others about the sunrise, others about nothing in particular: written for the simple joy of music.

None of these songs has been born again, and to that end there is no such thing as Christian music. No. Christ didn’t come and die for my songs, he came for me. Yes. My songs are a part of my life. But judging from scripture I can only conclude that our God is much more interested in how I treat the poor and the broken and the hungry than the personal pronouns I use when I sing. I am a believer. Many of these songs talk about this belief. An obligation to say this or do that does not sound like the glorious freedom that Christ died to afford me.

I do have an obligation, however, a debt that cannot be settled by my lyrical decisions. My life will be judged by my obedience, not my ability to confine my lyrics to this box or that.

We all have a different calling; Switchfoot is trying to be obedient to who we are called to be. We’re not trying to be Audio A or U2 or POD or Bach: we’re trying to be Switchfoot. You see, a song that has the words: ‘Jesus Christ’ is no more or less ‘Christian’ than an instrumental piece. (I’ve heard lots of people say Jesus Christ and they weren’t talking about their redeemer.) You see, Jesus didn’t die for any of my tunes. So there is no hierarchy of life or songs or occupation only obedience. We have a call to take up our cross and follow. We can be sure that these roads will be different for all of us. Just as you have one body and every part has a different function, so in Christ we who are many form one body and each of us belongs to all the others. Please be slow to judge ‘brothers’ who have a different calling.”

Foreman mentions the Christian "box" that many people want to stay in, and put others in. I agree with Foreman that this box is particularly limiting when it comes to art. So go out and create something - something beautiful, something wonderful - and do it to the glory of God.

This post was written by Dave Browning. For the original post, go to: http://deliberatesimplicity.blogspot.com/2013/12/band.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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"When something turns on you, you kill it."

12/6/2013

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Unfortunately, our time in Ecuador did not end as well as I wanted. I started hearing rumors among the missionary community that the pastor I worked with was abusive towards his wife. I couldn't believe it, he seemed like such a nice guy. He seemed to be kind and friendly. I had however noticed that his wife had bruises on her wrists at times.

I had some doubts about him before I heard these rumors. I knew that he kept a file on various people in the community as I came upon it accidentally one time in the church office. It was filled with comments and remarks about certain individuals and seemed kinda inappropriate coming from a pastor. Yet, I put it back and didn't say anything about it.

He also had several snakes he kept in his office that he had picked up from the Amazon while traveling back and forth there. I don't care for snakes but I don't think it's particularly unusual to have snakes for pets. What was strange, for me, was he would let them out and they would crawl around the office, often laying up on the window sill sunning themselves or chasing the many lizards that were available.

Thirdly, he didn't seem particularly friendly to Ecuadorians who would drop by the office. Some he would make fun of but usually he ushered them out of the office waiting area. I think that it was mainly because he hardly spoke Spanish, in spite of having lived there a number of years. That was really odd to me... Living in a country and not learning the language.

Finally, he told me about his Christmas sermon that he wrote. The subject was unusual, it was about how Satan was present during the birth of Christ. He told me that he wrote his sermon, almost automatically. He said that he put the pen in his hand and the words just seemed to flow out on to the paper, without him giving it much thought. I wondered what was the inspiration for the sermon.

Yet, I kept those four things to myself. I only talked to Karyn about them.

I finally decided that I needed to ask him about the rumors I was hearing about him being abusive. I was NOT accusing him. My mistake was that I should have confided in a board member and had a board member present when I spoke with him. As I told him what I heard, I could see him getting red in the face, his nostrils flared and his hands clenched. I thought he was going to hit me. He demanded that I tell him where I heard such horrible rumors and I told him that I wouldn't tell him but that I thought he deserved to know that people were saying such things about him.

I thought that was the end of it, I believed that possibly, those rumors weren't true. However, the next morning, my suspicions were confirmed. When I got to the office, he was standing at his office window laughing at an Ecuadorian woman who was going thru the church trash. He was laughing because all of a sudden, she jumped and ran off. I asked him what was so funny. He said, "I had to kill one of my snakes because he bit me and I had him in the trash there. She found it and it scared her. Being raised on a farm, I learned early that when something turns on you, you kill it." Then he had a big grin on his face. I left his office and went to my office to think about what just happened. The timing was unmistakable. I decided to write a letter to my missions board letting them know what was going on. In less than a week, I got a reply, "We think it's better you just come home."

When I told this pastor that my missions board was calling us back early, he said, "don't think that means that you can play. You still have a lot of people to see here. If you have an appointment or not, I want you sitting in that office." I protested as this was new behavior. Before, he said if I didn't have appointments, I could go home to Karyn and the boys. Yet, I did comply. It was difficult as we had to make plans to move back to the States and that required some coordination with Karyn and we needed to get rid of things in our apartment that we wouldn't take back with us. Nevertheless, because I'm married to such a capable spouse, we managed to successfully move and were gone within a month.

Once we got back in the States, I heard that he got transferred to another church in the US and there he experienced a divorce. I don't know the particulars and I was saddened to hear it. I was saddened because that showed that his marriage was troubled. If he could have confided in me, I could have possibly helped him save his marriage. I really liked his wife and his children and him. I can imagine that this divorce was very disruptive to his family and probably ended his career as an ordained minister. I haven't heard since the divorce what happened to him or his family but I still pray that God would move in his life so that he experiences true forgiveness and reconciliation.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Boring guys: Women love them

11/29/2013

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So not every guy proposes with lip syncing, rolling cameras, and a choreographed entourage.

Yeah — so what if your Dad didn’t?

He just pulled that beat-up Volkswagon Rabbit of his over in front of Murray Reesor’s hundred acre farm right there where Grey Township meets Elma Township, pulled out a little red velvet box, and whispered it in the snowy dark: “Marry me?”
“He didn’t even get down on one knee or anything?”

You boys ask it incredulous, like there’s some kind of manual for this kind of holy.

And I’ve got no qualms in telling you no. No, he didn’t even get down on one knee – it was just a box, a glint of gold in the dark, two hallowed words and a question mark.

“Boring.”

I know. When you’ve watched a few dozen mastermind proposals on youtube, shared them with their rolling credits on Facebook, marvelling at how real romance has an imagination like that.

Can I tell you something, sons?

Romance isn’t measured by how viral your proposal goes. The internet age may try to sell you something different, but don’t ever forget that viral is closely associated with sickness – so don’t ever make being viral your goal.

Your goal is always to make your Christ-focus contagious – to just one person.

It’s more than just imagining some romantic proposal.

It’s a man who imagines washing puked-on sheets at 2:30 am, plunging out a full and plugged toilet for the third time this week, and then scraping out the crud in the bottom screen of the dishwasher — every single night for the next 37 years without any cameras rolling or soundtrack playing -- that’s imagining true romance.

The man who imagines slipping his arm around his wife’s soft, thickening middle age waistline and whispering that he couldn’t love her more…. who imagines the manliness of standing bold and unashamed in the express checkout line with only maxi pads and tampons because someone he loves is having an unexpected Saturday morning emergency.

The man who imagines the coming decades of a fluid life – her leaking milky circles through a dress at Aunt Ruth’s birthday party, her wearing thick diaper-like Depends for soggy weeks after pushing a whole human being out through her inch-wide cervix, her bleeding through sheets and gushing amniotic oceans across the bathroom floor and the unexpected beauty of her crossing her legs everytime she jumps on the trampoline with the kids.

The real romantics imagine greying and sagging and wrinkling as the deepening of something sacred.

Because get this, kids — How a man proposes isn’t what makes him romantic. It’s how a man purposes to lay down his life that makes him romantic.

And a man begins being romantic years before any ring – romance begins with only having eyes for one woman now – so you don’t go giving your eyes away to cheap porn. Your dad will say it sometimes to me, a leaning over – “I am glad that there’s always only been you.” Not some bare, plastic-surgeon-scalpel-enhanced pixels ballooning on a screen, not some tempting flesh clicked on in the dark, not some photo-shopped figment of cultural beauty that’s basically a lie.

The real romantics know that stretchmarks are beauty marks and that different shaped women fit into the different shapes of men souls and that real romance is really sacrifice.

I know – you’re thinking, “Boring.”

Can you see it again – how your grandfather stood over your grandmother’s grave and brushed away his heart leaking without a sound down his cheeks?

50 boring years. 50 unfilmed years of milking 70 cows, raising 6 boys and 3 girls, getting ready for sermon every Sunday morning, him helping her with her zipper. 50 boring years of arguing in Dutch and making up in touching in the dark, 50 boring years of planting potatoes and weeding rows on humid July afternoons, 50 boring years of washing the white Corel dishes and turning out the light on the mess – till he finally carried her in and out of the tub and helped her pull up her Depends.

Don’t ever forget it:

The real romantics are the boring ones — they let another heart bore a hole deep into theirs.

Be one of the boring ones. Pray to be one who get 50 boring years of marriage – 50 years to let her heart bore a hole deep into yours.

Let everyone do their talking about 50 shades of grey, but don’t let anyone talk you out of it: committment is pretty much black and white. Because the truth is, real love will always make you suffer. Simply commit: Who am I willing to suffer for?

Who am I willing to take the reeking garbage out for and clean out the gross muck ponding at the bottom of the fridge? Who am I willing to listen to instead of talk at? Who am I willing to hold as they grow older and realer? Who am I willing to die a bit more for every day? Who am I willing to make heart-boring years with? Who am I willing to let bore a hole into my heart?

Get it: Life – and marriage proposals — isn’t not about one up-manship — it’s about one down-manship. It’s about the heart-boring years of sacrifice and going lower and serving. It’s not about how well you perform your proposal. It’s about how well you let Christ perform your life.

Sure, go ahead, have fun, make a ridiculously good memory and we’ll cheer loud: propose creatively — but never forget that what wows a woman and woos her is you how you purpose to live your life.

I’m praying, boys — be Men. Be one of the ‘boring” men – and let your heart be bore into. And know there are women who love that kind of man.

The kind of man whose romance isn’t flashy – because love is gritty.
The kind of man whose romance isn’t about cameras — because it’s about Christ.
The kind of man whose romance doesn’t have to go viral — because it’s going eternal.

No, your dad did not get down on one knee when he proposed – because the romantic men know it’s about living your whole life on your knees.

There are Fridays. And the quiet romantics who will take out the garbage without fanfare. There will be the unimaginative calendar by the fridge, with all it’s scribbled squares of two lives being made one. The toilet seat will be left predictably up. The sink will be resigned to its load of last night’s dishes.

And there is now and the beautiful boring, the way two lives touch and go deeper into time with each other.

The clock ticking passionately into decades.

This post was written by A. Voskamp. You can find the original post here: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/11/the-real-truth-about-boring-men-and-the-women-who-live-with-them-redefining-boring/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Appearances are important?

8/7/2013

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Jesus said, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

One of the main things a Pharisee did was make sure he was ceremonially clean. It was very much a central part of their lifestyle. They almost went to absurd lengths to make sure they were ceremonially clean at all times. They went to great pains to make sure that outwardly they were clean, but there was a problem. They completely ignored what they were like on the inside. Outwardly they looked as saintly as can be, but inwardly they were as full of corruption and greed as any sinner.

They were nothing more than whitewashed tombs. Their appearance was beautiful to see, but inwardly they were as unclean as a tomb filled with corpses. Outwardly they looked like they were the pillars of righteousness. But it was just an act. That wasn’t who they were, that was just who they appeared to be.

One of the easiest traps for us to fall into is the trap of appearances. When we fall into this trap we do all that we can to appear righteous. We do all that we can to appear committed to Christ. We do all that we can to appear to be faithful and godly. But when you get below the surface you find that’s all it is, an appearance. It’s not really who we are. It’s just who we appear to be. When you get into the Bible you find that God isn’t as concerned about what we appear to be, as much as He is concerned about what we truly are.

God doesn’t want us to appear to be righteous. He wants us to truly be righteous.

God doesn’t want us to appear to be devoted to Him. He wants us to truly be devoted to Him.

God doesn’t want us to appear to be like Jesus. He wants us to truly be like Jesus.

God didn’t save us to appear to be anything. He saved us so that we could truly be something new.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)

Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:23-24 (NLT)

God didn’t save you to appear different. He saved you so that you could genuinely be different. Since this is the case, never settle for appearing different. Never settle for appearing righteous. Never settle for appearing devoted to Christ. Never settle for appearing anything. Appearances are deceiving and appearances are useless. What matters is what we truly are, not what we appear to be. Genuinely be what God saved you to be.

Think about in Psalm 101 where David said, “I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.” What impact do you think it has on our kids when we do all kinds of things to keep up appearances and yet do nothing because of what we truly are?

The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him. Proverbs 20:7 (NKJV)

There is great power in integrity to influence our children to truly be what God wants them to be. One of the things I realized early on as a dad and a pastor is that what I am at home will influence my children far greater than anything I say in church.

Day in and day out they will see if I am honest or if I appear honest. Day in and day out they will see if I am only worried about right actions or if I’m also working on right attitudes. Day in and day out they will see if I appear to be a man of God or if I truly am a man of God. And what they see in me will influence what they become. Refuse to fall into the trap of focusing on appearances. To be a man or woman of integrity you must genuinely be who you appear to be.

This post was written by Rev Ross. For the original post, go to: http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2013/08/02/focus-on-being-no-on-appearing/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Building Character

8/3/2013

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God is aching for you to be one with Him, that He might use you. He wants to give you a voice in His kingdom. He wants to show you his power.

So when He defines His terms of sexual purity, don’t say, “God can’t possibly mean that!” because He does. Christ is looking to see where you can be trustworthy – capable of handling more for His Kingdom. Jesus says, “So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?”

If you aren’t trustworthy in handling fleshly passions, how can you be trusted to handle things of great value? Jesus said that if you were faithful in the little things, He would entrust you with bigger things. In this, God isn’t primarily referring to what He’s called you to do in His kingdom. He’s primarily concerned with what He’s called you to be in your character.

Maybe you’ve asked God to reveal His will for your life, but how are you doing with that “little” part of His will that He has already revealed to you?

Excerpted from Every Young Man’s Battle – pages 80-81

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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A caution for alcohol drinking Christians

Switchfoot doesn't sing "Christian" songs

"When something turns on you, you kill it."

Boring guys: Women love them

Appearances are important?

Building Character

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