I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight.  Jeremiah 9:24

God delights in kindness, justice and righteousness. None of this is easy for us to believe.

Kindness is difficult for some of us to imagine because we do not have extensive personal experience with kindness. We can imagine God as a weak, codependent, ineffective being whose specialty is being relentlessly nice to people. 

But what of the God who exercises kindness? What would that look like?

Justice is difficult for some of us to imagine because we have not had extensive personal experience with justice. In dysfunctional families justice is either chaotic or completely absent. 

But what of the God who exercises justice? What would that look like?

Righteousness is difficult for some of us to imagine because we have not had extensive personal experience with righteousness. We do not have instincts for doing what is right, we do not delight in doing righteousness, we expect it to be boring, dreary and out-of-date. We may delight in caretaking and codependent niceness, but is that the same as delighting in righteousness? Probably not. 

So, what of the God who exercises righteousness. What would that look like?

God is capable of delight. God is not the Unmoved One. God is the Most Moved of us all. 

God's compassion and kindness are free and full. 
God's commitment to justice is beyond all our imaginations. 
God pursues righteousness.

Learning to share in God's struggle for kindness, justice and righteousness will require significant changes for us. It cannot be done in a one time event. It will be a life-time quest. We will forget and remember again. We will run away and come back again. But each day in the struggle we will grow in our capacity for delight. Until, in the end, when God's purposes are complete, we will be filled with delight at the triumph of God's kindness, justice and righteousness

God of kindness, I want to understand you better.
God of justice, I want to live in solidarity with you.
God of righteousness, help me to delight in what pleases you.
Increase my capacity for delight, Lord.
Let me discover you afresh today.

Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

I was tasked with assessing a man regarding his sexual addiction.  

Unfortunately, his tale was all too familiar.  

As he sat across from me telling me that he is now considered a sexual offender and must register with the local police every time he moves, he started to unfold his story.  He told me that he had found his Dad's stash of Playboy and Hustler magazines when he was just eight years old.  

That is a bad sign...  The earlier a man is exposed to porn the greater are his chances that he will become addicted and the greater are his chances of getting into legal trouble.

The more he looked at porn, the more he wanted to look at porn.  (Interesting cycle, don't you think?)  The more he looked at porn, the more he fantasized about doing what he was watching on the porn movies.  

The more he watched porn, the less developed his social skills became.  This happens because porn causes a man to be selfish and just think about his own pleasure.  Friendships are unnecessary.  Girls are unnecessary because the girls in porn movies and magazines are always accessible and there for a man's pleasure.

It's a terrible cycle that entraps a man.  He wants to approach girls but fears rejection.  He wants to do the things he fantasizes about but he fears she will say no.  Finally, his isolation led him to frustration and he decided he would act upon some of his fantasies.  

A really weird thing about men addicted to porn is that they think that women are turned on by seeing male genitalia.  The porn that men watch gives a terribly distorted perspective of sexuality.  In actuality, women are more attracted to an intimate relationship than the male physique.

This man started to act upon his fantasies from the porn that he had been viewing over the years.  

One of his fantasies was that he would "accidentally" leave his zipper down and a woman would notice and become aroused.   He would walk around in grocery stores with his zipper down, fantasizing about his inevitable sexual encounter.  He was disappointed that no women noticed.

So, he developed another plan.  He decided that he would sit in his car close to the exits of stores with his pants open and hope that women would see and become aroused.  That didn't work either.  

So, his next step would be to call women over to his car, "to ask a question" and hope that with his pants open, they would notice, be sexually aroused and want to be with him.   He continued to be very disappointed.

He thought, because of his distorted perspective of women and sexuality, that what women were wanting to see was that he was sexually aroused, that he was erect, ready for sex.  So, he would sit in his car and fantasize about a woman jumping into his car and they would drive to a secluded place for a sexual encounter.  

One morning, while he was sitting in his car masturbating and fantasizing, he rolled his window down and asked a woman to come over because he had a "question" he wanted to ask her.  She approached his car, looked at him and where his hand was and instantly became repulsed.  She noted his license plate and called the police when she got home.  

She made a report to the police and he was arrested and prosecuted.  His prosecution was made public, his family was embarrassed and he lost his job.  

As he finished his story, I asked, "have you gotten rid of your porn?"  I knew his answer would be "no."  I was right.  The court wanted recommendations at the end of my assessment.  My recommendations were necessary:  no cable tv, no vcr/dvd player, no internet, no smart phone, no porn.  If he was caught in possession of any of these items, he would go to prison.  Also, he needed intensive counseling.  If this failed, then he would need residential treatment.

However, when the judge found out that he had not given up his porn, he acted swiftly.  This man immediately went to prison.  

Wouldn't it be nice if all of my stories ended in a positive note?  

This is a depressing, disgusting story.

Porn wins.

"Behold, you have sinned against the LORD and be sure that your sin will find you out."

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight.  

God delights in kindness, justice and righteousness. None of this is easy for us to believe.

Kindness is difficult for some of us to imagine because we do not have extensive personal experience with kindness. We can imagine God as a weak, codependent, ineffective being whose specialty is being relentlessly nice to people. But what of the God who exercises kindness? What would that look like?

Justice is difficult for some of us to imagine because we have not had extensive personal experience with justice. In dysfunctional families justice is either chaotic or completely absent. But what of the God who exercises justice? What would that look like?

Righteousness is difficult for some of us to imagine because we have not had extensive personal experience with righteousness. We do not have instincts for doing what is right, we do not delight in doing righteousness, we expect it to be boring, dreary and out-of-date. We may delight in caretaking and codependent niceness, but is that the same as delighting in righteousness? Probably not. So, what of the God who exercises righteousness. What would that look like?

God is capable of delight. God is not the Unmoved One. God is the Most Moved of us all. God's compassion and kindness are free and full. God's commitment to justice is beyond all our imaginations. God pursues righteousness.

Learning to share in God's struggle for kindness, justice and righteousness will require significant changes for us. It cannot be done in a one time event. It will be a life-time quest. We will forget and remember again. We will run away and come back again. But each day in the struggle we will grow in our capacity for delight. Until, in the end, when God's purposes are complete, we will be filled with delight at the triumph of God's kindness, justice and righteousness

God of kindness, I want to understand you better.
God of justice, I want to live in solidarity with you.
God of righteousness, help me to delight in what pleases you.
Increase my capacity for delight, Lord.
Let me discover you afresh today.
Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

There is a difference between being masculine and being macho.  Masculinity is our healthy expression of the uniqueness of being created a man in God's design.  The behaviors of a macho man are instead unhealthy expression of the stereotypes of masculinity lived out in their most extreme forms.  The macho man perverts true masculinity.  He pretends to be strong by acting aggressively and creating about himself an image of power, both of which mask the deeper reality of the insecurity within.  The truly masculine man knows who he is in God and enjoys a healthy integration of this emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual nature. This wholeness comes from knowing and responding to the truth that he is fully loved and accepted in Christ.  The masculine man in Christ is truly set free to become all that he is meant to be.

The macho man lives out an image of manhood that emphasizes only one small part of what it means to be male.  He pretends that it is possible to live life with a constant erection.  But, our physical genital reality reminds us that we are only sometimes hard.  Most of the time, we are are soft.  The majority of our lives is lived out as penis, not erected phallus, and this is normal and proper for men.  Think of what it would be like in actuality if we had to live the whole of our lives with an erection.  This is a grotesque image.  Yet it is the kind of masculine image many macho men attempt to convey thru their personalities as they relate to those around them.

It is far healthier and more productive to recognize and celebrate the broader dimensions of our masculinity modeled for us most completely by the man Jesus, our loving LORD.   As He demonstrated, a man's strength is not rooted in violent aggression or in an obsession with worldly power, but in the Godlike power of sacrificial love.

A man is not weak, but strong, when he wisely chooses to live the predominant portion of this life with his sword in his sheath.  This is not a man feminized.  This is a masculine man who has given up the false god of proud machismo and has delivered his complex and diverse masculine personality into the hands of God to be shaped by the demands of love.

This post is taken from Temptations Men Face.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Yesterday, we discussed four things that represent a real man, a Christian man.  Today, we conclude our discussion:

5.  The Christian man is free to be tender.  He no longer has to analyze everything objectively and express himself without feeling.  He is now strong enough to be gentle.  He will touch and hold and kiss his children & grandchildren as Jesus held the children of his day and loved them.  He will affirm others with words of truth and love and be generous with hugs and other physical expressions of encouragement.  He will let others affirm and love him.  He can laugh and cry with others like Jesus did.  

6.  The Christian man is free to forgive.  He will forgive others quickly and with a generous spirit as he has been forgiven by God.  A redeemed sinner, and in process himself, he can sympathize and empathize with the struggles of others.

7.  The Christian man is free to stand for righteousness.  He will influence the world by courageous speaking  the truth and acting on the truth he knows.  Once he was too insecure to stand up for what he believed, but now he is secure in Christ's love.  He has the courage to expose the fruitless behaviors of darkness and to model the fruitful lifestyle of light, love and truth.

8.  The Christian man is free to be concerned for the world around him.  No longer driven by a need to build external evidences of his worth, he can give himself and his money away.  He can work less to build his personal empire, and more to alleviate suffering, hunger and the conditions that lead to distress, disease and death.

The Christian man is free to live in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

The information from this post is taken from Temptations Men Face.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

What are the common behaviors of a man who claims Christ as his savior?  What does the power of God's Word do to a man?  What does a man look like who has been transformed by God's Holy Spirit?

1. The Christian man is free to be a servant-leader.  He no longer depends upon his own strength, but on the guidance, wisdom and strength of the Lord.  His identity is not dependent on successful achievement, so he is set free to fail without being devastated by failure.  This freedom to fail gives the Christian man courage and faith to step out and take  measured risks in the Lord's work.  He includes others in the decision-making process because he is no longer afraid to admit that he needs the help of others and of God in order to have success.  He can affirm and build up those with whom he works because he feels affirmed and accepted in love by God in Christ.

2.  The Christian man is free to be lighthearted.  He no longer has to take himself so seriously.  God is his refuge.  He is set free from having to protect himself, to fear and shield himself from others.  He is secure in himself and his faith.  He will not list out his accomplishments like a peacock strutting around, fanning his tail.  His personality will take on a peaceful playfulness that will draw others to him.  He can laugh at himself.  He has no need to put others down.  

3.  The Christian man is free to interact with others.  He is relational.  He is a thoughtful boss and a congenial host.  He is free to share himself openly. He will talk with his wife.  He will talk with his children.  He will not talk at them but will talk with them, listening to those he loves.  He will not have to have all the right answers.  He will enjoy entering into the deeper-meaning dimensions of the lives of those around him.  He is no longer interested in telling others how important he is.  He is now more interested in hearing about their joys, their needs, their hopes, their dreams.  

4.  The Christian man is able to be open with others about his needs and to ask for help.  He knows that it is his willingness to open his life to others that creates possibilities for himself and others to grow, receive healing and move on toward maturity in Christ.  The man will give and receive friendship.

(continued tomorrow)

The information from this post is taken from Temptations Men Face.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Though he looked the part, Daniel Walker was not a typical Western visitor to brothels in Asia.  Playing the part of a lonely tourist, Walker was actually an undercover agent investigating the sex trade industry in various locations around the globe.  Knowing his life would be in danger if he were exposed, Walker was moved by more than a paycheck.  In his book God in a Brothel, it becomes clear that Walker's overriding motivation to rescue girls and women trapped in this brutal form of slavery was God's great love for each and every one of them.  

Human trafficking is a present-day reality about which many of us would prefer not to think.  No modern invention, it was the situation in which God's people suffered under the rule of the Egyptians, enslaved to construct Egypt's buildings as forced laborers.  In the midst of their suffering -- just as in the midst of our own experiences of suffering -- it would have been tempting to give up hope in the God who had called them His own.  And yet, instead of relinquishing trust, the Hebrew people continued to cry out to God for deliverance for four hundred years.  The One who loved them heard their cries, saw their misery, and was concerned for their suffering.  

In the midst of suffering, it's tempting to believe that God does not care or that God has abandoned us.  The truth is that bodies which are used and abused, broken and beaten, matter deeply to God.  God does not turn away from the suffering of a young woman being trafficked for profit.  God does not ignore the cries of  the needy.  Rather, the One who used Moses to deliver His people out of captivity is the One to whom you can turn in the midst of your suffering.  

God sees your suffering and hears your cries.

This post is taken from Today in the Word, June 3, 2012.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

I recently had a meal with a new Christian friend, someone who is older than me and that I respect greatly. The conversation covered religion, politics, war, racism, etc.  What was interesting, is that he assumed that I believed the same as he did.  When he made a disparaging comment about someone's skin color and I let him know I didn't agree with his statement (I'll be writing about the sin of racism later) this song by Larry Norman went thru my head.  

This tremendous song was written by Larry Norman over 40 years ago.   It did not receive a lot of acclaim.  However, this song of protest at the state of American society still rings true in many ways (caveat:  I'm too young to appreciate the intricacies of the Vietnam War, so I don't know if I agree with Norman about his anti-Vietnam stance; nevertheless, I do agree with the rest of his song):

I was born and raised an orphan in a land that once was free
In a land that poured its love out on the moon
and I grew up in the shadows of your silos filled with grain,
but you never helped to fill my empty spoon.

And when I was ten you murdered law with courtroom politics,
And you learned to make a lie sound just like truth;
But I know you better now and I don't fall for all your tricks,
And you've lost the one advantage of my youth.

You kill a black man at midnight just for talking to your daughter,
Then you make his wife your mistress and you leave her without water;
And the sheet you wear upon your face is the sheet your children sleep on,
At every meal you say a prayer; you don't believe but still you keep on.

And your money says in God we trust,
But it's against the law to pray in school;
You say we beat the Russians to the moon,
And I say you starved your children to do it.

You are far across the ocean but the war is not your own,
And while you're winning theirs, you're gonna lose the one at home;
Do you really think the only way to bring about the peace
Is to sacrifice your children and kill all your enemies?

The politicians all make speeches while the news men all take note,
And they exaggerate the issues as they shove them down our throats;
Is it really up to them whether this country sinks or floats?
Well I wonder who would lead us if none of us would vote.

Well my phone is tapped & my lips are chapped from whispering thru the fence,
You know every move I make, or is that just coincidence?
Well you try to make my way of life a little less like jail,
If I promise to make tapes and slides and send them through the mail.

And your money says in God we trust,
But it's against the law to pray in school;
You say we beat the Russians to the moon,
And I say you starved your children to do it.

You say all men are equal, all men are brothers,
Then why are the rich more equal than others?
Don't ask me for the answer, 
I've only got one:

That a man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son

Copied from MetroLyrics.com 


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

How long, O Lord, must I call for help but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.   
                    Habakkuk 1:2-3,13

Where were you God? Where were you when I needed you? Didn't you see the violence? The abuse? The injustice? Didn't you care? There are times in life when we are full of questions about God. The pain of past trauma can be intensified when we begin to struggle with these hard questions about God.

It is important to acknowledge that these questions about God are not academic questions. No theoretical explanation of the problem of pain will soothe our raging, confused hearts. These are urgent, personal questions about God and about God's involvement in our lives. We want to know that God sees and cares and intervenes in our lives. We need God. We need God's love. We need God's help.

It is an important source of encouragement to know that we are not the first to ask these hard questions. There is clear biblical precedent for asking difficult questions about God. People of faith have always struggled with questions like these. We can take comfort and courage from knowing that the prophets also asked urgent questions similar to our own.

God, I am afraid.
I don't understand.
Violence and abuse happen and you do not stop it.
You seem absent.
You seem uncaring.
I need to know that you see and care.
I am calling to you for help, God.
Please hear me.
Please respond.
Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery