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Gymnastics sex abuse survivor shares Christ with abuser in court

1/30/2018

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CNN is reporting that "the fallout from Larry Nassar's sexual abuse is just beginning." Rachel Denhollander was the first victim to speak out. At Nassar's hearing last week, she made this remarkable statement to her abuser:

"Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you have done, the guilt will be crushing. And that is what makes the Gospel of Christ so sweet. Because it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found and it will be there for you."

She added: "I pray you experience the soul crushing weight of guilt so that you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God which you need far more than forgiveness from me, though I extend that to you as well."

How could she make such a courageous and Christ-centered statement to her abuser and the world?

Making God "my light"

Rachel Denhollander has clearly experienced what every believer facing great pain can know: "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1-2).

To choose God as "my light" means that I choose not to live in the dark or try to walk in light produced by my capacities or those of others. This is a humbling decision, an admission that I need God's light and can trust it above any other.

Of course, making God "my light" does not exempt me from darkness. In David's psalm, triumph is followed immediately by tragedy.

His next verse: "When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh . . ." (v. 2). And the next verse: "Though an army encamp against me . . ." (v. 3). He even states that "my father and my mother have forsaken me" (v. 10). In addition, "false witnesses have risen against me, and they breathe out violence" (v. 12).

Nonetheless, David knows that his enemies will "stumble and fall" (v. 2) and his "head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me" (v. 6). Though his parents have forsaken him, "the Lord will take me in" (v. 10).

Why? Because he has chosen to make the Lord "my light." He has chosen to stay close to his Source, to live by his word and will, to stay out of the dark and in the light of his presence.

Why to make God "my light"

Why should we do the same?

Consider this promise: "If we walk in the light, as [God] is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his son cleanses us from all sin" (1 John 1:7).
According to C. S. Lewis, a Christian "does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it."

One of the hymns I learned as a teenager promises,
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When we walk with the Lord in the light of his word,
what a glory he sheds on our way!
When we do his good will, he abides with us still,
and with all who will trust and obey.


As we stay in the light, others are drawn to the light we reflect.

How to make God "my light"

An elderly man walked to his church every morning and sat quietly in the sanctuary for hours. One day his pastor asked him what he did during those long hours of silence. He said, "I look at God and he looks at me, and we tell each other that we love each other."

The secret to making God "my light" is spending time in his light.

Mother Teresa authored one of the most profound statements I've ever read on our subject. I invite you to read her words reverently:

We need to find God, and He cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is a friend of silence. See how nature-trees, flowers, grass-grow in silence. See the stars, the moon, the sun, how they move in silence. . . .

The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. We need silence to be able to touch souls.

The essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and through us.

All our words will be useless unless they come from within. Words which do not give the Light of Christ increase the darkness.

Rachel Denhollander's words gave the light of Christ. Will yours do the same today?

This post was written by Jim Denison of The Denison Forum.  You can find his original post here:  mailchi.mp/denisonforum/dailyarticle2018129?e=7af1b98df0



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Hugging:  Helping children behave

5/23/2014

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My daughter Madisyn, who is a wonderfully strong-willed six-year-old child, didn't want to get up and get ready for school one morning. Being a strong-willed individual myself, I could sense a battle of wills brewing—though I was determined to avoid it.  I repeatedly asked her nicely to get up and get herself ready. I even picked out her clothes so she could move a little faster [a mistake that will be explained later]. Still, she refused to move.  I reminded her, still nicely, that the bus would be at our house soon, and if she didn't get dressed she was going to miss it.

She sat up, looked at her clothes, and screamed, "I don't want to wear that!"  Her tone was so nasty that I found it hard to keep myself composed, but I went to her room and picked out two other outfits so she could choose which one she wanted to wear.  I announced to her, "I laid out three sets of clothes. You need to pick one and get dressed."  I had almost made it to the bedroom exit when she fired back "I WANT FOUR!"

I was so angry at that point; and what came next surprised both of us. I walked over to her and said, "Madisyn, I am going to pick you up, hold you, hug you and love you...and when I am done you are going to get up, choose an outfit and get dressed."

When I picked her up and put my arms around her I felt her just melt in my arms.  Her attitude softened immediately and so did mine. That moment was amazing to me. A volatile situation turned warm in a few seconds—just because I chose to hug a child who was at that moment so un-huggable.

In your lecture you talked about the power of a hug to calm down an out-of-control child.  I've learned first-hand that you were absolutely right. Thank you for teaching others about the power of a hug!

Later Mary learned that the morning hassles could be reduced if her daughter picked out her own clothes the night before as part of her bedtime routine. This would help her feel capable instead of being told what to do, which invited rebellion. This example illustrates that even though hugs work to create a connection and change behavior, some misbehavior can be avoided by getting children involved in ways that helps them use their power in useful ways—for example picking out their own clothes.

Tantrums and Hugs


Now for the story that led to the example of asking for a hug when a child is having a temper tantrum.  I watched a video of Dr. Bob Bradbury, who facilitated the “Sanity Circus” in Seattle, WA for many years. During Sanity Circus, Dr. Bradbury would interview a parent or teacher in front of a large audience. During the interview he would determine the mistaken goal of the child and would then suggest an intervention that might help the discouraged child feel encouraged and empowered. Bob shared the following example (which I am now telling in my words from my memory of what I saw on the video).

A father wondered what to do about his four-year-old, Steven, who often engaged in tempter tantrums. After talking with the father for a while, and determining that the mistaken goal was misguided power, Dr. Bradbury suggested, “Why don’t you ask your son for a hug.”
          
The father was bewildered by this suggestion. He replied, “Wouldn’t that be reinforcing the misbehavior?”
          
Dr. Bradbury said, “I don’t think so. Are you willing to try it and next week let us know what happens?”
          
The father agreed with misgivings. However, the next week he reported that, sure enough, Steven had a temper tantrum. Dad got down to his son’s eye level and said, “I need a hug.”
          
Between loud sobs, Steven asked, “What?”
          
Dad repeated, “I need a hug.”
          
Steven was still sobbing but managed to ask incredulously, “Now????”
          
Dad said, “Yes, now”
          
Steven stopped sobbing and said, reluctantly, “Oh all right,” as he stiffly gave his father a hug. In a few seconds he just melted into his fathers arms.
          
After they hugged for a few more seconds, Dad said, “Thanks. I really needed that.”
          
Steven sniffled a bit and said, “So did I.”

There are a few points I want to make about this story. You may wonder why the father said, “I need a hug,” instead of, “You need a hug.”

1) Since the mistaken goal in this case was “misguided power.” To suggest that his son needed a hug would like invite him to say, “No I don’t,” and only intensify the power struggle. How could Steven argue with the fact that his father needed a hug?

2) Children have an innate desire to contribute. Contribution provides feelings of belonging, significance, and capability. Steven really wanted to “give” to his father, even though begrudgingly at first.

3) Children do better when they feel better. Once Steven felt better by giving his father a hug, he let go of his tantrum and the power struggle and enjoyed the hug with his father.

4) A misbehaving child is a discouraged child. It can be difficult to remember this when faced with annoying, challenging, or hurtful behavior. For this reason it helps to have a plan for behavior that is a pattern.

5) Connection before Correction. A hug is a great way to make a connection, but not the only way.  I will mention a few more of the many possibilities:

6) Simply validate your child’s feelings. “You are feeling really upset right now.” Then step back and give energetic support while your child works through it.

7) Name what is happening and then offer an alternative. For example:  “It seems to me that we are in a power struggle right now. I love you and know we can work on a win/win solution if we wait until we calm down.” Or, “I can see you really want my attention right now. I love you and I don’t have time right now but I’m looking forward to our special time at 7:30.” (Of course, this requires advance planning to make sure you have set up scheduled, special time with your children.)

8) Do the unexpected. Instead of reacting to the challenging behavior, ask your child. “Do you know I really love you?” This sometimes stops the misbehavior because your child is so surprised by your question/statement, and may feel enough belonging and significance from that simple statement to “feel better and do better.”

There are many other possibilities to make a connection and to help children feel better so they’ll do better. Techniques are very narrow and often don’t work. A principle is wider and deeper—and there are many ways to apply a principle. Go into your heart and your wisdom and you’ll know how to apply the principles of connection before correction, focusing on solutions, empowering children—and hugs—that are even better than the examples.

This Adlerian parenting principle is taken from the Positive Discipline blog: http://blog.positivediscipline.com/2010/02/hugs-positive-discipline-tool-card.html




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Sunday Meditation

4/27/2014

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"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."  Hebrews 4:16

Many of us find it very difficult to feel confident in intimate relationships. If we learned early in life that the people most important to us were unapproachable, then confidently approaching others as adults may be difficult. There are many ways to learn that approaching other people is dangerous. It can come from abuse, or criticism, or disinterest.

One result of experiences of this kind is that we find it difficult to be confident when we approach God. This is particularly true when we are feeling fragile, weak or needy. The last thing we expect is mercy and grace in our time of need. We expect to be criticized. We expect God to say 'why are you still so needy?'  We expect to be abandoned. We expect God to say 'I'm busy now.' We expect to be rejected. We expect God to say 'If only you had more faith or prayed more or read the Bible more or trusted me more.' With expectations like this, it is no surprise that we lack confidence when approaching God.

But God offers us an invitation we long to hear. He invites us to approach. And, God invites us to come with confidence. God will pay attention. God will hear us. God will be interested in our well-being. God will respond with mercy, grace and help.

I don't have much confidence, Lord.
I don't trust other people very much .
I don't trust you very much.
I don't expect mercy and grace
from anybody, especially in times when I'm this needy.
I expect criticism, abandonment, and rejection.

Thank you for inviting me to come to you.
Thank you for providing good reasons to have confidence in you.
You are full of mercy and grace.

This is a time of need for me, Lord.
Give me confidence to approach you today.
I need your mercy and grace.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

National Association for Christian Recovery


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The Facebook predator - A caution to Dads

2/7/2014

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The young lady was brought by her father because things had changed in her life.  He felt as if his daughter was no longer reachable.  She seemed angry, withdrawn and not wanting to communicate with him.  She was an A student, that was, until the last 4 months or so.  This father was concerned and wanted to get his daughter back.  Privately, he and I talked about what may have happened to cause this change.  He said she wasn't taking drugs.  She had a boyfriend but the father wouldn't let her go to his house.  They would only meet at school and at the father's house.  The father had taken the daughter to her physician and tests were run.  A drug screen and a pregnancy screen came back negative.  Physically, everything looked normal.  Hence, the physician recommended that she see me for some counseling.  

Just before the session, the father and daughter had a major disagreement.  You could tell that both of them were still fuming.  As we discussed the disagreement, all of a sudden, the daughter said, "stop!  I want my dad to leave.  I need to tell you something."  So, the father excused himself to the waiting room.  The daughter started with her story.  "About six months ago, I met this new friend online.  We had some of the same Facebook friends, so I figured this new friend was safe.  she seemed like a nice person.  We had the same interests and even lived in the same town.  So, eventually we decided to meet up.  She said I was to meet her at the mall at a certain time and we would get to know each other, face-to-face."  Now this young lady telling the story was getting agitated.  I knew that she was getting to something really important.  I had an idea but wasn't quite sure what was she was going to say.

The young lady continued, "when I got there, there was this guy who said he was her friend.  We talked a little bit and he knew so much about me because he and my friend had talked about me.  He said that my friend couldn't make it so he would take me to her place."  Then the young girl stopped.  She started hyperventilating.  She said, "I'm about to throw up."  I got her an emesis basin and she continued her story.  "Well, this guy took me way out of town, about an hour.  I didn't know where we were.  He took me into his house and he raped me.  I did some very disgusting things.  I did anything he said because I wanted to get out of there."  She was so serious when she said this.  It was as if she was dropping a huge weight off her shoulders.

I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.  I was stunned.  What I felt was just a fraction of what this young girl felt.  She said that he took her back to the mall and dropped her off.  She rode the bus home in tears and went to her room that nite, in a heap of regret.  

Later, some detectives came to her school to interview some girls that had been friends with this girl on Facebook.  This young lady stated, "My dad was called in during the interview and I told them nothing happened to me.  Ever since then, my dad has been saying, "You're so lucky that nothing happened to you!"  If he would just stop saying that, I could forget what happened to me!!  I don't have the courage to tell him that something did happen.  He will hate me for lying to him, lying to the police and for being so stupid!  My dad told me that this man went to prison so he cannot find me to try and do something to me.  So, I don't feel like I need to tell the police what happened."

The young lady was just sitting there in a puddle of tears, hyperventilating, having the dry heaves, she was just a mess.  I said, to her, "I wonder if your dad really knows.  Maybe that's why he keeps saying that to you.  To get you to tell him."  The young lady said, "get my dad back in here."  So, I went to get dad and on the way back to the room, I told him, "you're daughter has something really important to tell you."  

The young lady told her story.  I was surprised at the first thing that came out of the father's mouth...  

He said, "You had sex with that man?!"  

I stopped him right there and said, "It wasn't sex.  It was rape.  Your daughter did what she had to do to get out of that situation alive.  She had crimes committed against her."  

The father's demeanor instantly changed and he burst into tears and went to his daughter and hugged her.  They sat on the couch hugging each other for quite a while, crying and the father consoled her.  

There is much more to this story.  This family had a lot more work to do.  The details are veiled so that you cannot figure out who this man and daughter were but I am sharing this story for all you dads out there.  

Educate your daughters (and sons) about the dangers of social media.  
Let them know that people on line may not be who they are in actuality. 
Spend time with your daughters (and sons), get to know them.  
Help them to see that you really care about them, that you are interested in what interests them.  


Watch and pray.  Pray and watch.  
Protect.


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Predators use apps to get to your kids

2/6/2014

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I just got a disturbing call from a good friend.  He told me that his son went missing in the middle of the nite.  He and his wife were frantic trying to find him.  Later, in the early morning, their son showed up on the doorstep.  This boy is a young teenager.

He and the police are putting pieces of the puzzle together to try and figure out what happened.  From what they can surmise, it appears that a man stole their boy right out of their house and sexually assaulted him.  

How did this happen?  My friend is an excellent father, he is diligent and watches over his children well.  How could a man come into their home and do this?  

Well, this creep came in thru their internet connection.  They are learning that this man made a friendship with their son thru chatrooms and other social media.  In fact, this predator specifically contacted this boy thru an app on his iPad.  This man won their son's confidence to the point where he walked out of their home into the car of the man waiting outside, in the middle of the night.

My friend and his wife have talked to their son about the internet, put in place the proper barriers and have done an excellent job at being great parents.  It's hard to believe that this sort of thing could happen in their home.

Why tell you this?

I am using this example as a warning to all parents and kids out there.  You can never be too careful.  You are NEVER alone on the internet.  People are not always what they appear to be on the internet.

As you finish reading this, please don't do these three things:
1)  Don't judge my friend.  He is an excellent father.
2)  Don't tell my friend what he should have done differently.
3)  Don't think that this could never happen to your family

As you finish reading this, please do these four things:
1) pray for my friend and his family as they get thru this horrible ordeal
2) pray that they find a good, competent, licensed Christian counselor
3) pray that the police catch this predator and that he turns from his sinfulness
4) pray for your kids, teach them, watch them, love them, protect them, pray that such an occurrence never happens in your family.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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A caution for alcohol drinking Christians

1/7/2014

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Something disturbing has crept into the american church and it’s not pretty.

Many Christians have allowed themselves to take drinking alcohol lightly.

Now before you start throwing the legalistic stones at me, let me first make the following clear:

I don’t believe drinking alcohol is a sin. 



(Editorial comment by Ironstrikes:  I agree, drinking alcohol is not a sin.  However, as a member of the Church of the Nazarene, I vowed before God and His congregation that I would abstain from the use of alcohol.  I believe in honoring my vows.)  

Of course, getting drunk is. Alcohol is one of the biggest killers in our society, and as always it continues to take a destructive toll on marriages and families.

But, there’s another problem:

The often overlooked sin that is rearing its ugly head are Christians displaying their love and consumption of alcohol to those around them in public and on social media, when there are many around them that struggle with this temptation and addiction.

The Apostle Paul addressed a similar situation when dealing with those in the church arguing over whether they could eat meat sacrificed to idols. Paul declared that even though they had the freedom to eat meat sacrificed to idols, they should love those that struggled with this practice enough to not do it front of them.

1 Cor. 8:9-13
But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.


We sin against other Christians and “wound their conscience” (as well as sin against Christ) when we openly act in a way that would cause them to stumble.

Now, before you say you only do this with others that are like-minded or with your spouse, let me ask the following questions:

Do you highlight or joke about your drinking in person or on social media (posting pictures of your margarita, wine or bottles of beer)?

Do you drink in public when there’s a good chance you might meet someone struggling with alcohol?

Like it or not, people hold Christians to a higher standard (as they should). Do you love alcohol so much that you’re willing to let your witness be tarnished? Do you love your “freedom” so much that you could care less how it affects another brother or sister?

This isn’t about rules being broken. This is about loving our brother and sister enough to limit our freedom in Christ so as to not cause them to stumble.

Would you consider this truth?

I love you and I don’t want anything to dim the light that’s shining in and through you.



This post was written by Pastor Nathan Rouse.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://www.nathanrouse.org/2014/01/01/a-caution-for-every-christian-that-drinks-alcohol/

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Sunday Meditation

12/29/2013

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. . . the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death
to guide our feet into the path of peace


Many of us grew up expecting bad things. Some of us learned to expect physical abuse. As a result we may find ourselves covering our heads to ward off a blow when someone is offering a hug. Others of us learned to expect to be neglected. As a result we may experience confusion or fear when someone shows an interest in getting to know us. Expectations which are formed early in life are difficult for us to change. It is not an easy thing to allow ourselves to hope when our hopes have been disappointed over and over again in the past.

Learning to hope, however, means opening ourselves to the possibility that the future may be different from what we have known in the past. To hope is to allow ourselves to anticipate the possibility of good things. Hope is the expectation of good. It is the ability to look for the rising of the sun, while sitting in the predawn darkness.

Our hope for the future is rooted in a conviction about God's character. It is because of God's tender mercies that we find it possible to hope. Because of God's character -- tender and full of mercy -- the sun will rise. We can anticipate good things because God is a good and loving God.

I know what it is like to live in darkness, Lord.
My house has been built in the shadow of death.
God of mercy, heal me.
God of tenderness, give light.
Build in me a capacity for hope.
Rise on my darkness, Lord.
Guide my feet out of the paths of fear
and into the path of peace.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery



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Earning Broken Trust

11/8/2013

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Why should anyone trust me, having broken the trust that others had placed in me, due to my public sin and offense? In one, ultimate sense, you should only trust Jesus and no one else. The LORD Himself knows full well: "The heart is devious above all else; it is perverse -- who can understand it? I the LORD test the mind and search the heart, to give to all according to their ways, according to the fruit of their doings." (Jer. 17:9, 10 NRSV) "Deceit is in the mind of those who plan evil" (Prov. 12:20 NRSV). Each one of us has a devious, deceitful heart, and often we are unaware of the depth or degree of our own depravity. We have the ability to deceive not only others but also our own selves. Our God, however, cannot lie or be deceptive (Titus 1:2 NASB; cf. Isa. 45:19; 53:9; John 14:6); He alone can be objectively trusted (Ps. 4:5; 9:10; 25:2; 31:6, 14; 32:10; 37:3; Isa. 26:4; 1 Pet. 1:21). But let us not over-react, either. Many people can be trusted, generally, without the potential of psychological, emotional, or physical harm.   

In another sense, though, if someone who committed a horrible sin, offense or crime grieves over that sin and by the grace of God repents and makes perpetual and successful efforts at changing one's mind, which will affect one's emotions, which in turn will affect one's behavior, that person may regain his or her integrity and earn back and continue to gain the trust of others. Even so, however, I think that people ought to hold such a person to more stringent standards in demonstrating his or her integrity -- especially if the offense committed was sexual in nature.

First, the apostle Paul informs us that every sin a person commits is "outside the body; but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body." (1 Cor. 6:18 NIV) Note the distinction the apostle renders sexual sin: it is set apart for its own category; it is a sin of the mind, the heart, and the body. Second, once a sexual offense has been committed, there will always -- always -- remain, even in a small measure, a potential for some sort of future offense, even if the potential offense does not mirror-image any prior offense committed. This reminds us to always perform good deeds, because whatever deeds we perform, whether good or bad, the likelihood of repeating those deeds becomes exponential once performed. Potential victims are to be protected and considered a priority over and above the feelings of a former offender. Third, what must be understood about those who have committed a sexual offense is that the offender is well trained at being deceptive. Think about this seriously: prior to my offense, no one knew that I was struggling with sexual desire for my seminary roommate, nor did anyone imagine that I was capable of behaving in any sexual or ungodly manner toward him. I learned how to hide my true feelings, my inner struggles, while maintaining the trust of others  

So, how might one who has offended, whether sexually or otherwise, another human being created in the image of God regain his or her integrity and earn back the trust of others? I will give my amateur opinion, which I have learned from over a year and a half of therapy, and from much reading on the issue of offenses. Trust is always earned and rarely assumed. Once trust has been broken, earning or regaining trust can be very difficult, and in some circumstances can never again be achieved. Offenders of any stripe need to realize that people have a right to question our motives, our words, behaviors, actions, and to ask us difficult and pressing questions regarding our various interactions in any organization, whether societal or in the church. (This is especially true for anyone who has committed an offense against a minor.) What we really want people to see, however, is not that we can be trusted, as in some surface manner, but that we are daily striving toward making healthy choices mentally, emotionally, and behaviorally. 

Moreover, our motive in this regard cannot be derived from an interest to maintain or be accepted in a leadership role, to serve on a committee where trust is a major component, or even so that others will think better of us. Certainly, we want others to not view us as monsters. However, what is most important for us is to consistently think, feel, and live a healthy, transparent, godly life. If this is our consistent experience then people will see the results for themselves; we will not incessantly cultivate a need for others to perceive us in a positive light, but will be satisfied within ourselves that we are living as we should, and trust the Lord that the results of godliness will shine through for His glory and for the edification of the Church. Through this long and arduous process we must daily remind ourselves that living a healthy and godly life is a process that will take many years and much striving. Our goal is always "no new victims." 



In order to accomplish such a goal we must never fear or neglect the supporting structures in our life (Christ, prayer, Scripture, pastor, family, friends, the church); never fear transparency, since it is a helpful aid in the healing process; and never fear the time that cultivating a healthy mind and godliness takes. 


Christ is more than willing to see us through on this journey to the end. 


This post was written by William Birch.  For the original post with comments, go to:  http://classicalarminian.blogspot.com/2013/11/earning-broken-trust.html


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Atheist Richard Dawkins:  Light pedophilia doesn't cause lasting damage

9/27/2013

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CANTERBURY – A prominent atheist has stirred international outage following his comments regarding children who are victims of ‘light pedophilia.’

Richard Dawkins, known for his book The God Delusion, was recently featured in an interview in The Times, during which he spoke of his own sexual abuse as a child, which he said had no long-lasting affect upon his life.

“One day – I must have been about 11 – there was a master in the gallery with me. He pulled me onto his knee and put his hand inside my shorts. He did no more than have a little feel, but it was extremely disagreeable … as well as embarrassing,” he told the publication. “As soon as I could wriggle off his lap, I ran to tell my friends, many of whom had had the same experience with him. I don’t think he did any of us any lasting damage, but some years later he killed himself.”

However, when Dawkins shared his thoughts about degrees of pedophilia, the changing times and not treating all types of inappropriate touching alike, readers expressed shock and disappointment.

“I am very conscious that you can’t condemn people of an earlier era by the standards of ours,”Just as we don’t look back at the 18th and 19th centuries and condemn people for racism in the same way as we would condemn a modern person for racism, I look back a few decades to my childhood and see things like caning, like mild pedophilia, and can’t find it in me to condemn it by the same standards as I or anyone would today.”

“[T]he most notorious cases of pedophilia involve rape and even murder, and because we attach the label ‘pedophilia’ to the same things when they’re just mild touching up, we must beware of lumping all pedophiles into the same bracket,” Dawkins opined.

On Tuesday, Dawkins took to Twitter in an attempt to clarify his remarks.

“‘Mild touching up’ is bad,” he wrote. “Raping [an] 8-year-old wife to death is worse. Worse? That’s putting it mildly. Quantitative judgment vs. black/white.”

“Is anyone seriously denying that raping an 8-year-old to death is worse than putting a hand inside a child’s clothes?” he wrote again later. “Are you that absolute?”

On Thursday, Dawkins also penned an article explaining his words.

“To excuse pedophiliac assaults in general, or to make light of the horrific experiences of others, was a thousand miles from my intention,” he wrote. “I cannot know for certain that my companions’ experiences with the same teacher were are brief as mine, and theirs may have been recurrent where mine was not.”

“If I am wrong about any particular individual; if any of my companions really was traumatized by the abuse long after it happened; if, perhaps it happened many times and amounted to more than the single disagreeable but brief fondling that I endured, I apologize,” Dawkins said.

However, a number of child protection groups remain outraged at Dawkins’ comments. Peter Watt of the National Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Children said that the atheist’s remarks slighted others who have suffered from the memories of their abuse.

“Mr. Dawkins seems to think that because a crime was committed a long time ago we should judge it in a different way,” he told Religion News Service. “But we know that the victims of sexual abuse suffer the same effects whether it was 50 years ago or yesterday.”

This post was written by H. Clark.  For the original post, go to:  http://christiannews.net/2013/09/15/atheist-richard-dawkins-stirs-outrage-light-pedophilia-didnt-cause-me-lasting-damage/



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Rescued from sex trafficking:  Now what?

8/27/2013

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Every year, federal and state governments pour millions of dollars into combatting sex trafficking through local and federal law enforcement agencies. But the emerging link between the child welfare system and child sex trafficking in the United States underscores the need for a new tactic, one that addresses the social origins of child sex trafficking.

At the end of July, the FBI’s Innocence Lost initiative, the wing of the agency tasked with addressing domestic child sex trafficking, conducted its annual three-day Operation Cross Country. During these 72 hours, federal agents across the country “recover” juvenile victims from sexual exploitation and arrest their exploiters. This year, the agency boasts that it saved 105 children and arrested 152 pimps. According to U.S. law, anyone under 18 and involved in the sex trade is considered sexually trafficked.

However, what happens to those who are “rescued” is unclear. Whether the children are placed in juvenile justice proceedings or the Department of Social Services, the story of the rescue mission as the FBI tells it ends when the handcuffs go on—often both on the exploited young person as well as his or her exploiter. (A video montage of Operation Cross Country VII accompanies the FBI’s press release.)

Julianne Sohn, spokesperson for the San Francisco division of the FBI, explained to AlterNet that the agency couldn’t account for what happens to the youth after they are “recovered” because local law enforcement agencies have varying policies on how to handle teens.

“If you’re 17 years old and sex-trafficked in New York you are literally a victim and a criminal at the same time,” Chrystal DeBoise told AlterNet. DeBoise is the co-director of the New York-based Sex Workers Project, an organization advocates for both sex workers and trafficking victims.

The Sex Workers Project has helped to decriminalize individuals who have been sex trafficked and charged with prostitution by successfully lobbying for the Vacating Convictions Law, passed in 2010 in New York, which allows a trafficked individual to have her record cleared.

But DeBoise notes there is still a long way to go: “Over 50 percent of our clients are trafficked and they tell us that the arrests were some of the most traumatizing parts of their trafficking experience.”

“It’s shocking to believe that you could be trafficked and for the rest of your life you have a prostitution record,” DeBoise said. “It is shocking.”

These FBI sweeps also result in the netting of adult sex workers. The data for Operation Cross Country in the Bay Area reveals that while its ostensible focus is to rescue child victims, the program results in a markedly higher arrest rate for adult sex workers: for the 12 children rescued, 65 sex workers were arrested in the Bay Area alone. During Operation Cross Country in 2008, the FBI recovered 47 juveniles while arresting 518 prostitutes.

Prioritizing criminal justice proceedings to combat child sex-trafficking has resulted in a paucity of services devoted to helping children most vulnerable to sexual exploitation: those in foster care. Depending on the city, 50 to 80 percent of child victims are or have been involved in this part of the child welfare system. The correlation has led many advocates to argue that funding needs to be redirected away from law enforcement and toward social services that are designed to work with traumatized children.

“People are beginning to realize that juvenile justice is not appropriate to serve sexually exploited children. People are frustrated that those kids are going to the criminal justice system rather than the foster care system, which is designed to help kids,” Kate Walker, from the National Center for Youth Law, told AlterNet. Earlier this year, Walker authored a publication for the California Child Welfare Council examining the needs of victimized children and how the welfare system should address them.

Southern California Congresswoman Karen Bass has proposed legislation to the House of Representatives that she hopes will address the cyclical relationship between foster care and child sexual exploitation. In April she reintroduced Strengthening the Child Welfare Response to Human Trafficking Act (SCWRHT) that had died in committee last year. (After being elected to Congress in 2010, Bass co-founded the Congressional Caucus on Foster Youth and has since been a strong advocate for extending services to foster youth.)

SCWRHT would establish training programs so child welfare agencies could better detect children at risk of becoming victims and respond to those who have already been traumatized and victimized. The legislation would also extend services to trafficking victims up to the age of 21.

Bass has distinguished herself by focusing on the social roots of sex trafficking, rather than investing in law enforcement and tougher penalties. Explaining why she voted against last November’s Proposition 35, which increases fines and penalties for convicted human traffickers, she said: “I worry that just like with Three Strikes, when there is a horrific crime we come up with an extreme response and the net gets cast too wide.”

“It’s not my focus to increase penalty, because I am also worried about the pimps.” According to one case study, approximately 25 percent of pimps come out of the child welfare system.

In 1990—fourteen years before she would make the transition to electoral politics—Bass founded and directed Community Coalition, a grassroots organization based in South Los Angeles dedicated to strengthening black and latino communities ravaged by economic injustice, the War on Drugs, and poor quality schools.

After being elected to Congress in 2010, Bass co-founded the Congressional Caucus on Foster Youth and has since been a strong advocate for extending services to foster youth.

Like Bass, Kate Walker believes that with reform, the child welfare system has the potential to serve as a support network to child victims. “I think the child welfare system has a ways to go in terms of setting itself up to adequately serve these children, like prevention curriculum that includes teaching about exploitation, healthy relationships and ways to protect yourself.”

But while advocates may agree that improving the child welfare system is essential to addressing child sex trafficking, there is persistent ambivalence among policy advocates on whether locking up sexually exploited children is necessary in order to save them.

“There is a big divide in the field: should we be locking kids up or should we meet them where they’re at and provide them what they need,” says DeBoise.

Bass’ bill would create “specialized, long-term residential facilities or safe havens serving children who are human trafficking victims.”

One such safe house in Florida was forced to shut down within weeks of opening after one girl left the grounds and was raped. This recent tragic incident has led some legislators and social workers in Florida to conclude that it may be necessary to keep the premises of safe houses locked so that inhabitants cannot leave freely.

However, as DeBoise points out, “We don’t consider locking up any other victim the way we do with this population. It wouldn’t occur to us that we should lock up a victim of, say, domestic violence, if she continued to go back to her abuser.”

“When looking at the population of runaway kids involved in prostitution, there’s a tendency to treat them as criminals and force them into care.”

Casting further doubt on the incarceration model, Walker notes that one method of rehabilitating victims of sexual exploitation in California has been to send them out of state, far away from their exploiters. “Some of these places are on top of a mountain so the kids can’t run. But then they are just exploited upon their return to their communities.”

“I want to look at providing more services in the communities from which they come, because those are the communities that need them. When kids run away [from foster care] they are doing so because we are not providing something that someone else is; we’re not adequately meeting their needs,” explains Walker.

Speaking as a psychotherapist, DeBoise argues it is essential that services enable the youths to opt into therapy and shelter of their own volition: “We need shelters that are open and that have a high level of sophistication in the staff. We need to acknowledge that people can leave and they can also come back. When we work with those principles, we are successful. It’s not a problem to keep our clients, they don’t run away.”

DeBoise urges people to look at the phenomenon of domestic sex trafficking as part of a larger picture: “I think the way to end trafficking is to take seriously poverty and its consequences, racism and its consequences, sexism and its consequences. Trafficking is at the intersection of all these things.”

This post was written by C. Silver.  For the original post, go to:  http://www.salon.com/2013/08/15/far_too_many_kids_move_from_foster_care_into_the_sex_trade_partner/

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