Blog Archives - IRONSTRIKES

Fear

6/30/2017

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.- 1 John 4:18

Fear is an interesting force. It is something that can slow progress and halt our growth. It is something that everyone experiences from time to time.
Why?

Why do we fear so many things?

We fear that the worst will happen, that one person will be mad, death, bankruptcy, and a laundry list of other things.

Some even fear being afraid. Does this seem rational?

To us, in the moment, it seems very rational. I think there is something within everyone that activates when we experience fear that truly believes that we can change a potential outcome simply by being afraid. We know fear is not a great thing, and we really do not want to have it, but most people, when confronted about their fear will defend it with all they have. It is toxic. It steals our joy. It even sometimes manifests itself in physical illnesses.

But......it is familiar.

Let's look at it honestly. Sometimes the worse case scenerio actually does happen. We are forced to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we do run out of money for bills, that one person exits our life, or everything falls apart.

Then what?

Some, out of fear, will give up altogther...thinking that inactivity will solve their problems. The fact is this only perpetuates a fearful spirit. If you think about it, many of the terrible things that we are going through right now have more to do with fearing the worst and actually experiencing the worst. Those that choose to learn from what happened realize that God can produce fruit from their struggle.

When we put our faith in God, it is on His resources that we rely. This means, fear of a potential outcome is not a right we can claim because it is not us that has the responsibility of coming through. God uses us, guides us, and fills us with His spirit for a reason. So that we do not have to rely on what we have to make sure things happen the way they should.

Let's not be afraid anymore. Even if it is not going to be okay.....it will be okay. That family member you lost, the money you can't get back, the person who has walked out.......God will use this to grow you and build your testimony. It doesn't mean He caused it to see you suffer, but He can use anything for His glorious outcome.

Prayer for today: Jesus, you are mighty and loving. Take away my fear and replace it with your power. Make me productive in your kingdom and not just a spectator. Amen.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. You can find his blog here: ministrysauce.com

God uses moral power, not force

6/29/2017

"The only sort of power that influences in the spirit realm is moral power. By which is not meant goodness, but that sort of power either bad or good which is not of a physical sort: that higher, infinitely higher and greater power than the mere physical. Moral power is the opposite of violent or physical power.

God does not use force, violent physical force. There are some exceptions to this statement. There have been righteous wars, righteous on one side. Turning to the Bible record, in emergencies, in extreme instances God has ordered war measures. The nations that Israel was told to remove by death of war would have inevitably worn themselves out through their physical excesses, and disobedience of the laws of life. But a wide view of the area revealed an emergency which demanded a speedier movement. And as an exception, for the sake of His plan for the ultimate saving of a race, and a world, God gave an extermination order. The emergency makes the exception. There is one circumstance under which the taking of a human life is right, namely, when it can be clearly established that God, the giver and sovereign of life, has so directed. But the rule clearly is that God does not use force.

But note sharply in contrast with this that physical force is one of Satan's chief weapons. But mark there two intensely interesting facts: first, he can use it only as he secures man as his ally, and uses it through him. And second, in using it he has with great subtlety sought to shift the sphere of action. He knows that in the sphere of spirit, force pure and simple, he is at a disadvantage: indeed, worse yet, he is defeated. For there is a moral force on the other side greater than any at his command. The forces of purity and righteousness he simplycannot withstand. Jesus is the personification of purity and righteousness.It was on this moral ground, in this spirit sphere that He won the great victory. He ran a terrific gauntlet of tests, subtle and fierce, through those human years, and came out victor with His purity and righteousness unstained."

This section is quoted from the book, QUIET TALKS ON PRAYER by S.D. Gordon.

Living with your sword in its sheath

6/28/2017

There is a difference between being masculine and being macho. Masculinity is our healthy expression of the uniqueness of being created a man in God's design. The behaviors of a macho man are instead unhealthy expression of the stereotypes of masculinity lived out in their most extreme forms. The macho man perverts true masculinity. He pretends to be strong by acting aggressively and creating about himself an image of power, both of which mask the deeper reality of the insecurity within. The truly masculine man knows who he is in God and enjoys a healthy integration of this emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual nature. This wholeness comes from knowing and responding to the truth that he is fully loved and accepted in Christ. The masculine man in Christ is truly set free to become all that he is meant to be.

The macho man lives out an image of manhood that emphasizes only one small part of what it means to be male. He pretends that it is possible to live life with a constant erection. But, our physical genital reality reminds us that we are only sometimes hard. Most of the time, we are are soft. The majority of our lives is lived out as penis, not erected phallus, and this is normal and proper for men. Think of what it would be like in actuality if we had to live the whole of our lives with an erection. This is a grotesque image. Yet it is the kind of masculine image many macho men attempt to convey thru their personalities as they relate to those around them.

It is far healthier and more productive to recognize and celebrate the broader dimensions of our masculinity modeled for us most completely by the man Jesus, our loving LORD. As He demonstrated, a man's strength is not rooted in violent aggression or in an obsession with worldly power, but in the Godlike power of sacrificial love.

A man is not weak, but strong, when he wisely chooses to live the predominant portion of this life with his sword in his sheath. This is a masculine man who has given up the false god of proud machismo and has delivered his complex and diverse masculine personality into the hands of God to be shaped by the demands of love.

This post is taken from Temptations Men Face.

Investing in your marriage: Computer or Counseling?

6/27/2017

"We're gonna put our money into a computer rather than marriage counseling." This was a statement from a man with a rather troubled marriage. "I don't think counseling is going to help us any. We can spend time together in front of the computer and find good resources there." I looked at his wife and she, in a rather pie-eyed fashion, gave her tacit permission towards her husband's solution to their many marriage troubles. He proceeded with a rather lengthy story about how a new, more powerful computer, would be the solution not only to their family woes but also the difficulties in his marriage. "We will gather around the computer as a family and make our computer a place of bonding, we'll become stronger if we invest in that rather than counseling." I attempted to protest but he had won his wife over to his point of view. They cancelled their remaining sessions and I never saw them again.

Do you think the computer helped this marriage? A computer is amoral. It is neither evil nor good. It is what is done with the computer that brings in the morality.

I have been able to watch this man's behavior from a distance and unfortunately, his life has fallen apart. His wife divorced him. Several things transpired that she could not live with: 1) he used the computer for watching porn, 2) he used the computer to develop relationships with numerous women with whom he had affairs, 3) he was arrested for having sex with a patient, 4) he was also arrested for domestic violence and 5) he lost his medical license.

The computer also affected his children. One of his children became addicted to pornography (from the same computer), another was charged with sexual molestation and must now register as a sex offender for the rest of his life, the rest of his children have completely cut him off, wanting nothing to do with him.

I'm not saying that if they had continued in counseling that everything would have been perfect and these problems would not have occurred but I think it is ironic that the very thing he convinced his wife would solve all of their problems seriously contributed to his moral failure and the subsequent behavior of his family. I'm also not saying that the computer was his main problem. His main problem (in spite of claiming the name of Christian) was old-fashioned selfishness. He was not allowing God to transform him.

I'm writing this to you to ask you a few questions:

Into what are you pouring your time, energy and money?
Have you convinced yourself that possessions will bring your happiness?

Or have you invested your life into accountability, honest relationships and seeking God's will for your life?

God is very clear about His will: It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

I have heard that this man is now trying to repair the damage he has done and is trying again to live a life that is pleasing to God. I find that encouraging.

Please pray for him and his family and others damaged by his behavior.

Christians and mental telepathy

6/26/2017

I was doing some marriage counseling with a seasoned missionary couple, John & Jane. They had been married around 25 years and were having some problems on their mission field that was affecting their marriage. They were having questions about whether they needed to return home or stay where they were stationed.

Jane was trying to show how connected she was to John. She made an interesting comment, “we can read each other’s minds.” I asked her for proof of how she knew this. She stated, “I was alone on the subway in Paris and there was a man who was drunk and acting very unusual. I was scared, so I yelled “John, help me!” in my mind.” John immediately spoke up, “And I heard her. We were several stops away from each other, but I heard he say “John, help me!” in my mind.”

I recently read of a popular pastor, I won’t mention who he is, but he is reported to have said, “when someone talks to me, I have like a little movie running in my mind about what they’re thinking while they’re talking. So, I know when they’re lying.” This pastor stated that this is a gift that God has given him, that he has the spiritual gift of discerning spirits.

In both of these instances we have earnest, Bible believing Christians who seem to have some unusual abilities. If these were taken outside of the Christian realm, people would say that these two instances are examples of mental telepathy. So, is it possible that in these two instances we have examples of Christians engaging in a behavior that is not biblical?

Nowhere in God’s Word do you see examples of people speaking to each other telepathically, nor do you see instances where someone was able to read someone’s mind. Only God can read our minds (note there may be an exception in I Cor 14:25 and Acts 5:3, yet it is clear in both of these instances that the Holy Spirit is an intermediary).

In the instance of the missionary couple, it was identified that they had made an idol of their relationship. Slowly, they came to the realization that when one is in trouble, calling out to God to help you is the proper response. Who/what you reflexively turn to in times of trouble is taking the place of our LORD. God is our first line of help.

In the instance of the pastor, stating he has the ability to tell when someone is lying, that is quite iffy. That, to me, sounds like an ability that is not God given. Nowhere in God's Word do we see instances of someone reading someone's mind.

Now, one can discern thru past experience and training in observing human behavior with reasonable probability that a person is lying. We also have instances where people ask God about people's motives, dreams, etc and God answers. The point is that God is always the mediator. To leave God out of the equation is to elevate oneself about God.

In closing, I heard about this instance which, to me, seems much more Biblical. A young woman was in trouble with a man who kept giving her a difficult time, pressuring her for money, sex and other things. She turned to God for relief. She asked God to help her. She received peace that God answered her request. Upon her prayer, her Uncle heard during prayer, "your niece is in trouble, you need to go right now to help her (he did not hear his nieces prayer but rather God's instruction)." He went to help her noting that God responded immediately upon the young woman's prayer and that the Uncle responded immediately to God's instruction. It was a faith builder for both of them and others who heard their story. God was put first in this instance, not someone's ability.

That is God-honoring behavior. The young woman prayed to God, the uncle received instructions from God.

God is our first line of help.

Uncle Buddy: Chapter 9: Christ seeks the dead man

6/25/2017

Dear reader, we come to the ninth stage in the history of the man Lazarus. We saw him sick, dead, bound, entombed, and putrefied, and then we first saw Christ appear on the scene and declare Himself to be the resurrection and the life. Then He inquired about the dead man, and now He is seeking for the dead man. We read in Matt. 18: 11: "For the Son of Man is come to save that which was lost," and again we read in Luke 19: 10: "For the Son of Man is come to seek and to save that which was lost."

No person ever came on such a mission as the one that the Son of God came on. His was purely a missionary journey, and thank God it was self-supporting. for we were unable to do what He came to do, and in this narrative we have Christ in the town of Bethany, seeking a dead Lazarus. If we will lift up our eyes and behold we will not only see Him seeking a Lazarus, but we will see Him seeking a lost world. He is seeking the sinner, the wanderer, the lost, the homeless, the friendless, the tempest-tossed, sin-sick soul. Hear His voice, take courage, and rise up, for He calleth for you, and while He seeks the sinner He does many other things. He meets a blind man and says to him, Go to the pool of Siloam and wash, and he went and washed and came seeing. He met a man with a withered hand and said to him, Stretch it out, and immediately his hand was restored whole as the other. On His journey He met up with a man that was deaf and the Lord spoke to him and the sound of the voice of the Son of God entered into his head and he never had any more trouble with his hearing.

Well, I say glory to God! He met a man with the leprosy and said to him, Go shew yourself to the priest and as he went he was cleansed from his awful disease and turned back to give glory to God. He met a man with the palsy and spoke the living word to him and the man had no more trouble with his nerves all the days of his life. I do praise the Lord that I am a believer and a shouter also. Glory to God! I am in this thing all the days of my life. Hallelujah!

We next read that He met a woman that had been diseased for twelve years and she had spent all her living on the physicians and was no better, but rather grew worse. When she saw Jesus she said, If I may but touch His garments I shall be made whole, and she slipped in behind Him and touched His garments and immediately she was made whole. I tell you, old boy, a Savior who can do that is worth tying on to. Bless His dear name. Again we read that one beautiful Sabbath morning the blessed Son of God was out for a morning stroll. He went out about the sheep market and He saw a poor man on a cot, by one of the pools of Jerusalem, who had been there for thirty-eight years. Jesus looked at him and said, Arise, take up thy bed and walk and go unto thy house, and behold, the next thing we see is a man going down the streets of Jerusalem with a bed on his shoulder. Oh my, the next thing we see is those old Jews. Now just listen to them. They say to him, It is not lawful for you to carry your bed on the Sabbath day. But listen to him. He said to them, He who made me whole said to me, Take up thy bed and walk. Bless the Lord, somebody had been to town that could do something. There that poor man lay for thirty-eight years and I don't suppose that one of those old Jews ever prayed with that poor fellow in his life, but just as soon as the blessed Son of God got him off of his bed they raised a racket with him. How much like some of the rest of us that sounds. After Jesus met us and blotted out all of our sins and called us into His blessed work and sanctified us and then healed us and put us out on the turnpike for glory; then the D. D.s began to wherefore and whereas, and resolve and be it known that, we do not indorse or take any part with or have anything to do with the meeting that is now being held by the said _____. I will just leave off the name and you can put your name there and you will have the key to the gate.

But thank the Lord the blessed Christ went on down the stream of time and He met a poor woman with seven devils in her, cast them out, and left her rejoicing, and I suppose that Mary hasn't quit rejoicing yet. Well, I can't stand much more. I want to shout now. I know that she loved Him for we find her at the grave weeping. In His strolls through the country He met up with a few fellows fishing and He said to them, Let down your net for a draught; to their surprise they caught a boat load. Ho, man, He knows where to catch 'em, and they always bite His hook or go into His net, one or the other. He went on out into the mountain and a great multitude came out to hear Him preach and they hung on His word until they were hungry and famishing. He blessed five barley loaves and two small fishes, and fed five thousand men besides women and children. That night He wanted to cross Galilee and the boat was gone and He did something that no other man has ever done; He went afoot, and the waves of Galilee were adamant under His feet; He did not get the soles of His sandals wet.

At another time we see Him out on Galilee and an awful storm came up. He was asleep and the disciples became much alarmed and awoke Him and said, Master, we perish. He arose and rebuked the wind and the sea and they obeyed Him. Every blue breaker went back into his hole and shut his eyes and kept quiet because the Master had spoken.

When He had reached the other shore or come over to the country of the Gadarenes, He met a man with a legion of devils in him and He cast them out and the whole herd of devils ran into a herd of swine and they were choked in the sea. The last time we saw the man he was clothed and in his right mind, sitting at the feet of Jesus and wanting to become an evangelist. But the Master said to him, Go back to your house and tell what great things the Lord has done for thee. He went on his journey and found a woman at Jacob's well and told her her life's story, and caused a great revival to break out in a city of Samaria and she found that a greater One than Jacob was there. As He journeyed on in search of those who needed help He found a man up a sycamore tree and said to him, Make haste and come down, for I must abide at your house today. The man came down, and thank the Lord he got religion between the first limb and the ground, straightened up his life, and I expect to see him in heaven. Glory to God in the highest!

Now, reader, it was this same Jesus that we have been telling you about who came to Bethany and declared Himself to be the resurrection and the life, and inquired about the man Lazarus, and He is now seeking for him. I believe He will find him in spite of that old critical Jew, and in spite of the doubts of Martha and in spite of the fact that Lazarus has been dead four days already. I believe that something will be done. I can feel the victory now and hear the roar of the battle. I am expecting an old-fashioned revival to break out and shake the whole town and put the whole pit in confusion and knock the scales off of the eyes of those old Jews and bury the doubts of Mary so deep under the hills of Bethany that she will never see them again in this world. Well, amen. Keep up your faith, the victory is ours. Christ is in town and the revival is on and the devil is almost ready to give up the fact that something will be done. A little faith in a big Jesus will bring a big blessing to the heart of any of God's children.

Now we have come to the next stage in the history of this, the most remarkable man that is described in the New Testament or the Old either. Before we take up the next chapter I want you to see just how much ground Lazarus does cover. We first saw him a sick man; second, we saw him a dead man; third, we saw him a bound man; fourth, we saw him an entombed man; fifth, we saw him a putrefied man; sixth we saw Jesus appear on the scene; seventh, we saw Jesus, the resurrection and the life; eighth, we saw Jesus making inquiries about the dead man; ninth, we saw Jesus seeking for the dead man, and tenth, we see Jesus at the grave of the dead man weeping over him.

The reader will notice that there is no hope of Lazarus in the world. If some power unknown to man doesn't enter into him he will stay there in that tomb forever and ever, for he is beyond turning a new leaf, and he is beyond new resolutions and he is beyond human enthusiasm, for he is dead and putrefied and in the tomb and the tomb is sealed up. Without a doubt, he is a dead man, but thank God there is hope, for Christ is in town.

Robinson, Reuben A. (Bud) (2015-03-31). The Collected Works of 'Uncle Bud' Robinson (Kindle Locations 5940-5999). Jawbone Digital. Kindle Edition.

God's generosity

6/24/2017

God is a god of abundance, not a god of scarcity. Jesus reveals to us God's abundance when he offers so much bread to the people that there are twelve large baskets with leftover scraps (see John 6:5-15), and when he makes his disciples catch so many fish that their boat nearly sinks (Luke 5:1-7). God doesn't give us just enough. God gives us more than enough: more bread and fish than we can eat, more love than we dared to ask for.

God is a generous giver, but we can only see and enjoy God's generosity when we love God with all of our hearts, minds, and strength. As long as we say, "I will love you, God, but first show me your generosity," we will remain distant from God and unable to experience what God truly wants to give us, which is life and life in abundance.

For further reflection...

"You visit the earth and water it, you greatly enrich it; the river of God is full of water; you provide the people with grain, for so you have prepared it. You water its furrows abundantly, settling its ridges, softening it with showers, and blessing its growth. You crown the year with your bounty; your wagon tracks overflow with richness. The pastures of the wilderness overflow, the hills gird themselves with joy, the meadows clothe themselves with flocks, the valleys deck themselves with grain, they shout and sing together for joy." - Psalm 65: 9-13 (NRSV)

This post was written by Henri Nouwen.
You can find his site here: www.henrinouwen.org

Rich!

6/23/2017

4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. -Ephesians 2: 4-7

Have you ever wanted to be rich? I mean, filthy rich? We have heard this phrase so many times, and I don't know about you but, when I hear this phrase, I picture Scrooge McDuck (remember Ducktales?) swimming in a giant silo filled with coins. Many of us wouldn't mind never having to worry about bills, and having enough left over to indulge our desires...within reason.

The Bible is very clear about this attitude. We can gather all of the material stuff possible, and the blessing that would result would not even compare to the value we find in a relationship with Christ. Also, we can read that all of the righteousness we can produce is like "filthy rags" to God because a life lived independently of God's resourcing is a life that is severely lacking in momentum.

So, when we read this excerpt there is something shocking that jumps off the page. Considering the deep deficit we begin with; the rejection of God, the disobedience, and overall spiritual infidelity, it is amazing to see that an acceptance of God's mercy and salvation is an act that completely fills this void. It not only fills this void, but there is so much overflow the apostle Paul describes the amount as "incomparable". This means that there is no quantity of any other substance that can equally be compared to this resource.

It is a relaxing thing to know that God loves us so much that we have immediate and continuous access to this abundance. Not only that, but it is relaxing to know that it is okay to accept it. I know that sounds crazy, but I think there are many people who have a barrier up when it comes to accepting God because they feel so terrible about their past. They feel they should be disqualified from grace, and misery is a punishment well suited for their sorrow.
God is offering His riches to you. More than you could ever imagine. It is okay to be free.

Prayer for today: Father, help me to feel your love today. Help me to know you are enough and to desire you more and more. Amen.

This post was written by Rev DeCrastos. You can find his blog here: ministrysauce.com

3 ways porn distorts your self-view

6/22/2017

My wife is currently watching the TV show Once Upon a Time on Netflix. I haven’t watched a whole lot, but she explained one very interesting thing about the show’s story to me.

The show’s characters are, for the most part, characters from fairy tales, Disney movies and other fantasy stories that are plopped in the modern world in a town called “Storybrooke.” But they have also lived in their fairytale worlds. Somehow they made it to Storybooke. If they stay within the town limits, they remember what happened and who they were in their fairytale worlds. But if they cross the city limits, they forget everything about their old world.

One of the most important things for anyone to remember is who they are, what they came from and what they’re about. And just like the characters in Once Upon a Time crossing the town line can make them forget who they are, developing a pornography habit or addiction can do the same for us.

Chemically, porn alters our brain and the way we think.

Study after study has shown the biological effects of a pornography addiction and how it alters brain chemistry. William M. Struthers, a professor of psychology at Wheaton College, wrote an article for the Christian Research Institute about the effects of pornography on the male brain. He compared consuming pornography to consuming food.

“The human body consumes and digests food. In a similar way, we can think about the brain as a consumer of stimuli and information,” Strutters writes. “…The brain’s job is to consume and digest information. This information is taken in through the eyes and other sense and digested and stored with meaning and memories…Sexual images are inherently powerful and have emotional content. As such, pornography forces itself on the brain. Whether one consents or not, pornography becomes a part of the fabric of the mind.”

Ask anyone who has struggled with pornography addiction, and they will tell you it alters how they think and what they think about. It becomes not just a craving that needs a fix like a drug, but images force their way into your mind and stay there, nearly impossible to get out.

Because of this chemical alteration, you can begin to define yourself by how you think about women and sex due to pornography. Much more than just an emotional mis-definition, it’s something that is chemically true of your brain, and has a major effect.

We often define ourselves by what we do.

When you introduce yourself to someone knew, you usually start with your name and your profession. You’re a teacher or a writer or an engineer or fill-in-the-blank-here. Our profession is often the first thing we go to, besides our name, to define ourselves.

It’s also a human thing that we often define others in our sphere of influence and celebrities by their weaknesses. That guy is a drug addict, those girls are sluts, so on and so forth.

Since pornography is not just something we do occasionally but often becomes an addictive pursuit, it becomes something we identify ourselves by. We may not say it to others, but it’s how we view ourselves. I can think of many times in my despair over my struggle with pornography defining myself to myself as the guy who dealt with porn more than anyone I knew.

This tendency to define ourselves by what we do misses the point of what identity is really about. Identity is really about who you are, not what you do. We all make mistakes. We all do things – intentionally and not – that we wish we didn’t, that we would give almost anything to erase that those things ever happened.

We feel like Paul, the author of the book of Romans in the Bible, who writes, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (Romans 7:18-19).

Paul did not define himself by what he did, but he was well aware of his shortcomings. He was aware of what he wanted to do, but knew the struggle to do that on a consistent basis. But he defined himself more by what God thought of him.

Porn addiction can lead to depression and stress.

In my case, struggling with pornography led to most of my depression and anxiety.

I already struggled with a lot of depression and anxiety day-to-day, but struggling with porn and knowing that at the very least it was not helpful for me just piled on to the stress that had kept building and building. And I’m not alone.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Kevin B. Skinner did an informal poll-like study on the connection between depression and porn use. He shared his findings on his Psychology Today blog:

“Clearly, individuals who consume porn daily are dealing with more than just porn. They are apt to be experiencing depression. I am wondering if depressed people are more prone to view porn to combat the depression or if daily use of porn triggers individuals into a depression? Either way, my research with more than 400 people who voluntarily took my assessment indicates that people who regularly view pornography are experiencing more depression than the general population.”

Yes, that’s only a little over 400 people, but it’s clearly a human issue. And depression is something that we know greatly alters how you view yourself. Your definition of yourself often strays from an objective evaluation to believing untrue things – “I’m not worth much/anything” or “I suck at life” or “God must hate me.” Depression causes thoughts and feelings like that to become primary in the minds of porn addicts and greatly affects how they define themselves.

So what are we to do?

We need to be constantly reminding ourselves of what is true about ourselves.

In my bedroom at home sits a canvas painting I did. It used to be in my office at work. Half of it is a blank résumé. The other half quotes a spoken word piece by this guy named Jon Jorgensen. It says: “Not qualified is where He starts.” On the bottom is written/painted “
2 Corinthians 12:9.”

In that verse, God tells Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” It reminds me that God can use me despite my lack of qualification, and many reasons to be disqualified. When porn addiction enters our life, we can view ourselves that way, that we have nothing to offer, that we are useless.

My friends, it is not so. Fight back against these ways that porn distorts your view of yourself. Remember what is true. It’s vital.

This post was written by Zachary Horner of XXXChurch.com You can find the original post here: www.xxxchurch.com/men/3-ways-pornography-distorts-your-view-of-yourself.html

10 lies men believe about porn

6/21/2017

Have you ever had thoughts such as, I’m the only one struggling with porn like this, God must be so ashamed of me, or I just have got to get stronger to overcome my addiction or anything like that?

These thoughts are present in almost every case of pornography addiction I’ve seen.

But do you see the problem? These thoughts are all lies! Worse yet, they keep you from discovering the truth that will set you free. This is why my mission over the past few years has been to help men not only recognize the top ten of these lies, but more importantly, to understand the Truth that counteracts them. (To go deeper on this topic, check out my book, Ten Lies Men Believe About Porn).

Lie #1: My pornography addiction defines who I am.
TRUTH: Only God can define who you are.

The only One who can give you your true identity is God, because He is the One who made you. Furthermore, the moment you trust Christ to redeem you from your sins, all of them—past, present, and future—are removed from you. Which means God no longer defines you by your sin, He defines you as His beloved child.

Lie #2: I am alone in my struggle with pornography addiction.
TRUTH: You are not the only one who deals with this.

Many men who use porn feel a strong desire to hide it, fearing they are alone in their struggle. The truth is, everyone struggles with something. We’ve all got junk. Once you bring your struggle into the light and trust others to come alongside you in it, the temptation begins to lose its power over you.

Lie #3: My pornography addiction is about fulfilling my sexual desires.
TRUTH: Pornography addiction results from the attempt to receive intimacy without risking rejection.

Many men fear they will be rejected if people discover the truth about them, so they hide their flaws and pretend to be who they think others want them to be. Deep down though, they know they’re bluffing. This is where pornography becomes so tempting. It offers men a way to satisfy their desire for intimacy without the risk of being exposed as the fraud they fear themselves to be. In reality though, the shame that comes from using porn fuels their isolation and drives them farther away from the true intimacy they are searching for.

Lie #4: I can compensate for my pornography addiction by doing enough good in other areas of my life.
TRUTH: None of us will ever be good enough to earn our own way into Heaven.
Many men view the Bible as a checklist outlining how to earn your ticket to Heaven. But God didn’t give you these rules to show you how to earn your own way. He gave them to you to show you that you can’t earn your own way. Once you recognize how you could never do enough good to compensate for the bad things you’ve done, that’s when you’re ready to discover how good the news of the Gospel truly is.

Lie #5: My pornography addiction separates me from God’s love.
TRUTH: Your sin can never separate you from God’s unconditional love.
God will never, ever pull away from you regardless of what you’ve done in your life. His love for you is unconditional—which means your behavior has nothing to do with it. Furthermore, trusting His love frees you to trust Him as a compassionate Father rather than fearing Him as an angry judge. This is the beautiful gift of His Grace—and it’s the only thing strong enough to set you free from the shame that fuels addiction.

Lie #6: I’m strong enough to control my pornography addiction on my own.
TRUTH: In order to find true freedom, you must give up on your own ability to control your sin.
God wants to set you free from your addiction, but He leaves it up to you to decide when you’re ready to release it to Him. Doing so isn’t easy though, as it requires facing the full depths of your sin, including the pain you have caused others. It’s for this reason that many men will only consider asking for His help after they’ve tried every other option to fix things on their own. The longer you wait though, the harder it can become.

Lie #7: Jesus can set others free from pornography addiction, but not me.
TRUTH: If you believe Jesus is Lord, you can trust that everything He promises is true, even for you and your situation.

If you’re trying to overcome your struggle with porn in ways that contradict the truth of Scripture (fighting in isolation, hiding your sin, striving to fix yourself), you won’t find freedom. This isn’t because the Gospel isn’t true, it’s because you aren’t following the path God provided. You are trying to do it your own way. Please understand though, this isn’t a behavior issue; it’s a trust issue. Trusting Jesus with your entire life (faith) is the only way to experience the freedom promised in the Gospel.

Lie #8: Holding on to unforgiveness has no effect on my pornography addiction.
TRUTH: Unforgiveness is one of the most common ways to allow spiritual bondage back into your life.

Nothing will keep you trapped in bondage more than unforgiveness—even if the offense against you has nothing to do with your pornography struggle. Unforgiveness pulls your mind away from God and keeps your focus on the injustices committed against you. If you don’t release them, your bitterness will allow bondage to creep back into your heart, robbing you of the freedom you have been seeking through recovery.

Lie #9: I must shut down my desires if I want to be free from pornography.
TRUTH: God doesn’t want you to shut down your desires. He wants to redeem them for His good and purpose.

Men often attempt to ignore or overcome their desires in an attempt to control their struggle with porn, but that leaves them jaded, frustrated, and disillusioned at best. God never meant for you to disengage your desires though! Once you begin to understand the truth about who God is, how much He loves you, and how desirable a life with Him truly is, your desires will automatically shift further away from porn and move closer towards what is Holy.

Lie #10: God can no longer use me because of my pornography addiction.
TRUTH: God uses broken people to do amazing things for His kingdom, regardless of their past.

God still has a plan for your life, no matter what you’ve done. In fact, God can even redeem the bad things in your life to equip you for whatever calling He has for you. Look at how God has used my 20-year struggle with pornography to help countless men find freedom from their own struggles with addiction. In the same way, if you whole-heartedly seek after God, He will use you in amazing ways.

Once you learn the truth and believe what the Bible says about each of these lies, they lose their power over you. My own life has been completely changed through these truths, and I believe the same can happen for you as well.

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – JOHN 8:32

This post was written by Stephen Kuhn of XXXChurch.com
You can find his original post here: www.xxxchurch.com/favorites/10-lies-men-believe-about-porn.html