Category: Practical - IRONSTRIKES

Marriage Hacks: Free e-book

8/11/2014

Marriage is an increasingly unnatural and confusing thing for many couples today. In light of this, Tyler Ward—author of Marriage Rebranded—recently asked 25 leaders for their single best marriage advice. The level of insight and wisdom he received is guaranteed to help many navigate this uniquely beautiful relationship called marriage.

Marriage Hacks is a compilation of the best marriage advice from 25 leaders including:

• Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages
• William Paul Young, The Shack
• Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage
• Danny Silk, Keep Your Love On
• Jeremy Cowart, Celebrity Photographer
• Jonathan Jackson, Emmy-Award-Winning Actor
• And many more...

The book speaks to some of the most common questions in marriage including...

• how to keep things from never going stale
• how to handle personality difference
• show to cultivate emotional intimacy
• how to spice things up in the bedroom
• what to do when your spouse isn’t as intentional in your relationship as you are
• and more...

If marriage is hard for you at the moment, this read will simply comfort you to know you're not alone.

If marriage is amazing and fruitful, it will help you sustain.

If marriage is confusing, it will offer some insight on this unique union.

If marriage feels pointless, it will add purpose and depth.

To download this free e-book, go to: http://books.noisetrade.com/tylerward/marriage-hacks

Why I like "my" church

6/18/2014

We discussed 10 reasons why people leave church. Then we discussed why people like going to church. It is so easy, nowadays to find things wrong with the church and here at Ironstrikes, we publish some criticisms of The Church in general.

Now, I want to turn to "my" church, specifically. When I say "my", I don't mean the church is mine. I mean it is the church that I claim as home for my family. These people are "my" family. It doesn't mean that we all look or act alike. It doesn't mean that we always agree. It does mean that we love and care for each other... We can get angry with each other or frustrated with each other but the love is no less.... Sounds like a real family, doesn't it?

First of all, we are church plant, a very young church with only about 60 people attending at any one time. It is a good mix of kids, teens, young people and older people. Our pastor is young, married and has children.

If you would attend, you would see a very simple, basic church service. We don't have a polished praise team, we don't have a modern, hip feel to our service. We have a few attendees of the church up front singing. They aren't always the same people. Sometimes, people from outside our church come and lead us in praise. You never know what to expect in terms of a praise team. Sometimes, our children will lead us in praise. That leads me to my first point...

1) I like "my" church because everyone is expected to be a part of the praise time. Sometimes, you are expected to be a participant, sometimes you are expected to be a leader. Even children as young as three have lead us in praise.

2) I like "my" church because everyone is expected to be a part of the worship time. You will see children praying with older people from the church. Yes, I said that in the correct order. Children will pray with adults. Children will pray for adults. That leads me to point three...

3) I like "my" church because everyone is considered to be a part of the church ministry. Children are the church. Teens are the church. Adults are the church. We don't have people wait until they get everything correct and polished: their theology, their attitude, their words, etc. If someone wants to do something, they do it. However, they just don't do it, they also have a church family that encourages and teaches while they are doing what they do...

4) Our leader, of course, is Jesus Christ. He is the cornerstone of our church, the very foundation. However, our Pastor, as he follows Jesus, teaches us God's Word from a humble stance. I like "my" church because it's refreshing to have a pastor say, during a sermon, "I'm glad to be a part of a church that is as messed up as I am!" (And his sermons are terrific, BTW.)

5) I like "my" church because sometimes, you may not know who the "leaders" are in the church. Leadership in our church requires humility. Since we are a church plant and rent a facility, you will see leaders in all aspects of the church and not realize that they are leaders. They will set up the sound system, work in the nursery, set up and remove chairs, bring muffins to share, care for children, collect the offering, etc. A leader in the church will do whatever it takes to help the church function.

6) I like "my" church because sometimes, we don't get to the sermon or to the sermon our pastor had planned. It is not uncommon for God's Holy Spirit to change what is planned. There may be spontaneous testimony. There may be spontaneous spoken prayer. There may be a child saying, "amen!" or someone may even stop the sermon and ask a question about what the pastor just said or what someone else just spoke about.

7) Finally, I like "my" church because we believe in healing. We believe that God cares about us emotionally, physically as well as spiritually. We have had spontaneous prayers of healing and have seen the results within just a few hours. Physical pain has been eliminated or lessened, emotional pain has been relieved, and spiritual growth has resulted.

Ok, one more finally.... Sometimes, our church will be nothing special. Nothing terribly exciting happens from our human perspective. Things go as planned, nothing spontaneous occurs. And that's ok too. That's another thing I like about "my" church. There is not a pressure to repeat past experiences, there is not a pressure to make something happen. It's just simply God's family getting together to remember what God has done, praise Him for what He will do and also to wait expectantly for God to do more.

Because, we have a long way to go... God's not done with us yet.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Natural Consequences

5/20/2014

A natural consequence is anything that happens naturally, with no adult interference. When you stand in the rain, you get wet. When you don’t eat, you get hungry. When you forget your coat, you get cold. No piggy backing allowed. Adults piggy back when they lecture, scold, say, "I told you so," or do anything that adds more blame, shame, or pain than the child might experience naturally from the experience.

Children usually feel bad or guilty when they make a mistake. Piggy backing lessens the learning that can occur from experiencing a natural consequence because the child stops processing the experience and focuses on absorbing or defending against the blame, shame, and pain. Instead of piggy backing, show empathy and understanding for what the child is experiencing: "I’ll bet it was hard to go hungry (get wet, get that bad grade, lose your bicycle)." When it seems appropriate, you could add, "I love you and have faith in you to handle this." It can be difficult for parents to be supportive without rescuing or overprotecting, but it is one of the most encouraging things you can do to help your children develop a sense of capability. Let’s look at an example of how natural consequences work.

Billy, a first grader, forgot his lunch every day. Mother would interrupt her busy schedule to drive to school with his lunch. After learning about natural consequences, she decided that Billy might learn to remember his lunch if he experienced the natural consequence of forgetting. She first discussed this with Billy, letting him know she was confident that he could be responsible for remembering his lunch. She also told him she would no longer bring his lunch to school if he forgot it. It is very important and respectful to discuss, in advance, when you plan to change your behavior.

Her intentions were sabotaged for a while because Billy’s teacher took over and loaned him money for lunch when he forgot. It was not until Mother and Billy’s teacher got together on a plan to allow Billy to learn from the natural consequences of his choices that his behavior changed.

Billy tested the plan. The next time he forgot his lunch, he asked his teacher if he could borrow some lunch money. She said, "I’m sorry, Billy, but we agreed that you could handle your lunch problem by yourself." Billy then phoned his mother and demanded that she bring his lunch. Mom also kindly but firmly reminded him that he could handle the problem. Billy pouted for a while, even though one of his friends gave him half a sandwich.

After that, Billy seldom forgot his lunch. When he did forget it, he managed to find someone who would share some food with him. By the time Billy reached the second grade, he added the responsibility of making his own lunch, as well as remembering to take it.

Many adults don’t have much tolerance for the whining, pouting and disappointment. Billy’s mother did not find it easy to listen to her child be demanding, and it was difficult for her to allow him to experience being upset. She noticed some guilty feelings because he was hungry, but reminded herself that forgetting his lunch was really just a small mistake, one of many Billy would make in his lifetime. If she did not follow through on her plan, he would not be learning the life skill of getting a little more organized in the morning, and the good feelings of handling a problem himself. Instead he would be learning that whenever things didn’t work out for him, he could whine or complain and get someone else to take care of his problems. Looking at it that way, Mother was able to stay calmer.

Even though natural consequences often help children learn responsibility, there are times when natural consequences are not practical:

1. When a child is in danger. Adults cannot allow a child to experience the natural consequences of playing in the street, for example.

2. When natural consequences interfere with the rights of others. Adults cannot allow the natural con- sequences of allowing a child to throw rocks at another person, for example. This is one reason why supervision is especially important with children under the age of four. The only way you can prevent potential dangerous situations for children this age is to supervise so you can rush in and prevent a dangerous occurrence.

3. When the results of children’s behavior do not seem like a problem to them and the natural consequences will adversely affect their health and well being. For example, it does not seem like a problem to some children if they don’t take a bath, don’t brush their teeth, don’t do their homework, or eat tons of junk food.

This Adlerian parenting principle is taken from the Positive Discipline blog: http://blog.positivediscipline.com/2012/04/natural-consequences.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Three simple ways to welcome men at church

2/4/2014

Why is it that churches, even when they know there will be large numbers of unreached men in the pews, seem so inept at reaching them?

Christmas Eve is one of the big-three services to which unchurched men are dragged by their wives and mothers. This Christmas Eve, I happened to attend two candlelight services. One church understood how to make men welcome; the other did not. One church got the little things right; the other did not.

So what were these little things? Here are three small things you can do any time of year to make men feel at home:

1. Don’t load a man’s hands when he enters the sanctuary. Have you ever noticed how women pick things up and carry them around? Men usually don’t. This is because men are hunters – women are gatherers. Women love to scoop things up but men want their hands free in case they need to defend themselves or kill a wild animal.

Church #1 didn’t understand this principle. The moment I entered the church I was met by greeters with cookies and cider. As I entered the sanctuary, ushers handed me a candle with a wax catcher, a bulletin and a candy cane. That’s WAY too much stuff for a man to handle. My wife, the gatherer, was happy to have her hands overflowing, but I was very uncomfortable.

At church #2 the ushers handed out nothing. Bulletins and candles were already placed on each chair. Brilliant! Guys could walk into the sanctuary with hands free. Even the men who clutched cups of coffee still had one hand free just in case they needed to pick up a spear.

2. Don’t just preach – bring an object lesson into the pulpit. At church #1 the pastor did what pastors do – he talked for 30 minutes. It was a fine sermon, but hardly memorable.

At church #2, the pastor spoke for about 5 minutes, and suddenly the entire room went black. He kept speaking from the darkness for two more minutes. Then he lit his candle and finished his sermon by the light of a single wick. He taught us the verse, “Those who have walked in darkness have seen a great light.” As he finished his sermon, he used his candle to ignite every candle in the room. It was a powerful illustration of how the Light of the World passes from one person to another.

Here I sit in late January and I cannot tell you a word I heard at church #1. But I am able to recall the main point of the second sermon and share it with you a month later. In fact, I recently walked into a very dark space and that sermon leapt to mind. I stood in the darkness giving thanks for Jesus, the Light of the world. Pastors, this should be your goal – to give your hearers an object lesson so memorable they recall your preaching months or even years later.

3. Don’t strike up the worship band as soon as the service is over. At church #1, as soon as the pastor dismissed us, the band struck up again and played at full volume. The loud music drove people out of the still-darkened sanctuary and into the parking lot. The church was virtually empty in 5 minutes.

At church #2, the pastor gave a benediction and the band left the stage. The sound guy brought up the house lights and played a very soft collection of Christmas carols. People stood in the sanctuary and chatted for 20 minutes or more.

Talk time at the end of the service is important – especially with men. Men are relationally starved. We get so little time to talk at church – why on earth would the band ruin that fellowship time by rocking out after the service is over?

This post was written by David Murrow. You can find the original post here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/01/three-little-ways-to-welcome-men-at-church/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Sexual dreaming

10/9/2013

Dreams are odd. In dreams we can fly, shape shift, transmogrify, meet people that we admire and also be turned on sexually. There is also a psychological technique called "lucid dreaming" where one learns the techniques to manipulate dreams.

Men, when they are teens, experience "wet dreams" that are usually intensely sexual. So, men have a history from early in their lives of connecting dreams to sexual arousal. Many of the
men that I counsel tell me that their dreams often trigger their sexual acting out.

How does one handle sexual dreams? Often they are not under our conscious control. So, are we responsible for our dreams? Are we responsible for our acting out sexually when aroused by a dream? How does one stay pure, even while sleeping?

You are VERY responsible if you practice lucid dreaming. If you purposely manipulate your dreams, then you will be accountable for such.

However, there are things that one can do to try and keep one's dreams from turning too sexual:

1. Pay attention to what you think about while you are falling asleep.
2. Memorize scripture that you can repeat in your mind while falling asleep. Philippians 4:8 is a scripture that is made for just such an occasion. Proverbs 4:23 and Malachi 2:15 are excellent as well.
3. Pray while you are falling asleep. This is a great time to talk to God.
4. In your prayer, ask God to protect your mind while you sleep. God can do that, if you learn to count on His faithfulness.
5. Pay attention to what you watch on TV, in the theatre and on the internet, especially right before you go to sleep. You may have to take the TV out of your bedroom. Dreams often are an amalgamation of our daily experiences.
6. If you work with a professional counselor, you can dissect your dreams to help understand them a little bit. Even though a dream may be sexual, the core of the dream may also be something that you need to confront in yourself.

If you wake up sexually aroused from a dream, what can you do to prevent acting out?

1. Urinate. Many times an erection is simply the result of a full bladder.
2. Read something non-sexual. Opening God's Word and talking to God about what you are physically feeling is way of strengthening your relationship with HIm and beating temptation.
3. Call a member of your accountability group.
4. Take a cold shower.
5. Stay away from TV and the Internet while you are aroused.
6. Do not recreate the dream in your mind. Distract yourself by thinking in a pure manner.

So, even though your dreams are often not under your conscious control, you can control what you watch and think throughout the day. God is faithful. If you ask Him for His assistance in this area, He will help. Also, arousal does not mean that you have to do something sexual. You can choose to act out or you can choose not to act out.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

"A 'REAL' Christian loves everybody!"

8/21/2013

Loving others: I admit that my experience of loving everyone is not just difficult but impossible — at least, loving everyone the way Jesus loves everyone (and, of course, my theology informs me that Jesus actually does love everyone and desires their full redemption, cf. John 3:16; 12:32). I don’t know everyone: How, then, can I love everyone? Or perhaps loving everyone is not predicated upon knowing them. Can I love people whom I don’t even know? Am I not, then, in love with love — or, perhaps, in love with the idea of love?

God can love everyone because He knows everyone; and His love for them is not objected-oriented. In other words, God doesn’t love people because of any inherent redeeming value or character trait within them. For example, if He loved me because I give away all my wealth to the poor (and I don’t), then if I stopped giving away my money to the poor then He would have cause to cease loving me. God’s love for us is derived from His nature and not ours. (Trust me when I admit that this is a good trait! If God’s love for us was object-oriented then He would love none of us — ever.) But Jesus said that the second greatest commandment is akin to the first: “You shall love your neighbor [which just so happens to be everyone with whom we come into contact, cf. Luke 10:30-37] as yourself” (Matt. 22:39). If I am to possess the kind of love for people that God holds, how is that going to happen?

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

The quote from Merton above comes from his work No Man is an Island, and I think it represents a God-kind of love. Before each of us comes to trust in Christ we are already perfectly loved by God. He does not require that we change who we are as individuals in order to first receive that love. God does not call me to the behaviors and characteristics of Billy Graham or John Wesley or Thomas Aquinas or the apostle Paul. God perfectly loves me, as I am, and longs for me to be the me He created me to be. However, that “me” is also being conformed to the perfect likeness of God’s Son Jesus (Rom. 8:29). The “me” I’m going to be is not yet complete.

I think this is always healthy to keep in mind with regard to everyone else we encounter as well. Let’s consider those with whom we worship Christ each Sunday. The “them” they are going to be is not yet complete. God will also conform them to the image of Christ; they are becoming what they will be, even though what they will be is not yet who they are presently. If you need a moment to grab for the Aleeve, then go and come back for the final paragraph.

I have not yet mastered how to love everyone perfectly, mostly because I have not yet arrived at the final, perfect “me.” Loving people takes hard, very intentional work, and it is just as much a discipline of contemplation as it is a form of activity. Thomas Merton says of Aquinas that there is “in practice no contradiction between contemplation and activity,” and I agree with them both. When we consider who is our “neighbor” — whom we are called to both love and serve — this takes contemplation, introspection, and a determined willingness to act on their behalf; and this labor of love, if you will, must be stubborn to completion. In other words, we cannot give up the effort merely because the person does not reciprocate or appreciate such labor. We must remember that, though God loves everyone perfectly, that love is, largely, underappreciated or outright rejected. Still He loves, stubbornly, graciously. Lord, make us imitators!

This post was written by William W. Birch. For the original post, go to: http://willandgraced.tumblr.com/post/58414919448/loving-everyone-is-impossible

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Public manners: Advice from a young mother

7/29/2013

Being a middle-aged, white guy, I wonder what young mothers think when I try to interact with them and their children in public. So, I asked my niece what kind of things go through her mind in regard to this topic. Here is her response:

"There isn't a whole lot that I expect men to help with when I'm out in public alone with the kids. One of those reasons is because I have played the scenario a few times in my head of what I would do to try to take after someone who takes one of my kids...while I run after him while carrying my other two.

I like it when men hold the door open for the kids and I to all get inside wherever we are going...especially if I have the stroller in tote.

If a man is a real "kid" person and I've never met you, it's okay to say hi and have a very short small talk conversation with my kids, but keep it short and simple and move on. It's different if you're an employee somewhere and I can leave the store with my kids and not worry about him following..again the fear of a kid getting taken.

As for me, I already try not to make eye contact with other men. Small talk is okay if we're sitting watching our kids play at the play area or park. Make sure to tell which kids are yours, and some interaction between them proving it helps, so I know you're not there just scoping out the scene.

If my kids are throwing a fit, it's okay to say something like, "uh oh" or "that doesn't sound like a nice voice" towards the kid with a bad attitude. My kids usually straighten up when they notice a stranger watching their bad attitude. And I appreciate the attitude leaving at that point. Again, be short and simple.

If my kid is walking/running away, look for me, the mom, and go by my gestures. If I'm calm, not saying anything, and have an eye on my kid, I feel in control and I'm testing them to see how far they'll go. If I'm calling for them and looking stressed, get their attention and try to coax them back to me without touching them...i.e. holding a hand/picking them up. I had a lady pick my son up when he was heading a different direction and it totally freaked him out... she was an employee at the mall so I assumed she wouldn't take off with him, but had it been anyone else, I would have been on high alert with adrenaline pumping.

Pretty much, if you want to interact, keep things short and simple. Holding doors open are great...and elevator doors especially so the kids don't get trapped on the elevator and me not on there yet, or vice versa. I don't take the kids on an outting alone unless I know I can handle the time of day and amount of walking, etc. that we'll be doing."

I'm grateful for my niece's advice. In short, here are some things she taught me:

- Be chivalrous. Open the door and hold the door (elevator door, too) for young mothers and their children.

- Don't be alarmed when a child is not standing next to his/her mother. Watch the mother for cues and watch from a distance so that you can help if someone snatches the child.

- Say mild comments (at the most) if the child is throwing a fit. Words from someone they don't know may help him/her control him/herself.

- Keep things short and simple if you do interact. Don't try to monopolize the mother and/or her children.

If you want to follow my niece, here is her youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/godrox

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

A tale of three pastors

7/23/2013

Let me tell you a tale of three pastors. All successes in their own right. I would be pleased to be a member of their congregations. They are good men, godly men, holy men. They have the same Holy Spirit working in their lives.... yet, they are different. And sometimes, they rub me wrong.

At least two of them do...

One pastor was talking about how the Military creates dependency. "In the military, you don't have to make any decisions, all decisions are made for you, you just obey orders. They feed you, house you, raise you into a fighting machine. They tell you where to live and who to make friends with." (Just in case you're wondering, no, this pastor has never served in the military, although he has had numerous military folks in his congregation.) Yet, when I think about this pastor, he went straight from high school, to college, to seminary, to his first church. He serves in a denomination where the pastor is a professional. The churches in which he has served have always providing housing, paid his expenses, and given him a nice salary. (He is well within the top 1% of financial earners in his church. To his credit he does tithe his salary.) His denomination tells him when to move to another church. Does that sound independent to you?

Another pastor was talking about how the new generation of churches will be smaller and transient with bi-vocational pastors. This pastor is a good scholar. He has researched trends in the church and realizes that is what he needs to be training the next generation of pastors to do. Yet, when I think about this pastor, he went straight from high school, to college, to seminary, to his church. He serves in a denomination where the pastor is a professional. The churches in which he has served have always providing housing, paid his expenses, and given him a nice salary. His church isn't a mega-church by any standards but it is a good sized, medium church. He remarked the other day, "I haven't mowed a yard in years. People from the church come over and mow my yard (actually the yard of the parsonage where he lives that the church provides for him as part of his salary package)." Does that sound bi-vocational to you?

Another pastor, now at the end of his ministry due to his age, reflected with me regarding his life as a minister. He never had a church of over 250. He accepted meager salaries in spite of having seven children. He told me stories about God's provision: coats for his children that suddenly appeared on the doorstep one frigid winter morning, receiving "blue milk" and cheese from the local dairy, having an abundance of fresh farms eggs from an unnamed person in the community, working side-by-side with parishioners in painting and refurbishing the church (and telling of the wonderful theological truths and friendships that occurred during these times), caring for the church building by cleaning toilets, mowing the yard, taking out the trash, etc. Also, he never had a parsonage. Every home he lived in he either rented or owned (ironically, now at a ripe old age, on his meager salary, he owns several homes and they are rented by pastors or parishioners of his former churches). Each of these homes, he cared for in painting, refurbishing, caring for the lawn and shoveling snow. (Oh, that reminds me, he shoveled the snow at his churches. He wanted his church to be welcoming even during bad weather.) He stated he would never cancel church. "What if someone found their way to the church during bad weather only to find the doors locked? What if that was the time that they decided they needed Jesus? If even only one person showed up, I still had church." He NEVER wanted to count on the church to take care of him. He told me that he knew that he was called to be a pastor and in doing a pastor's work, he KNEW that God would take care of him. His salary was just to pay what expenses that he had as he never went into debt, owing no man anything.

Like I said in the first paragraph, three pastors: All successes in their own right. I would be pleased to be a member of their congregations. They are good men, godly men, holy men. They have the same Holy Spirit working in their lives.... yet, they are different. And sometimes, they rub me wrong. At least two of them do...

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Business Manners - A Woman's Advice

7/9/2013

On business trips, I am often in consternation how to treat women, especially on the airplane. I have offered to help women put their luggage in the overhead bin only to be rebuffed. I have seen men jump over each other to help a frail young woman put her luggage in the overhead bin and I wonder "why can't she take care of herself?" Then I ask myself, "Am I honoring and respecting that young lady by letting her struggle on her own?" So, I thought that maybe I could enlist a woman's perspective.

I asked my older sister who spends the majority of her job on the road, flying in airplanes and staying in hotels. Here is her reply to my query (edited slightly with her permission):

"As a woman who travels on business a lot, I pack so that I can handle my own luggage --- always. I do not want to be dependent on anyone else. I don't know the intentions of those around me. And I must be careful giving out personal information to those I sit with. (like where I'm staying when out of town). I almost NEVER give out my business card. Unless I have made a really good connection that seems appropriate (usually with a woman, however -- and usually a connection about spiritual things.)

Regarding helping women with luggage on a plane, I would not assume the woman can't heft it into the overhead. However, if you see her looking around for help, I think that's an invitation to offer assistance. Just simply ask if you can help (with a smile) and accept her response either way. It shouldn't be a personal affront if she declines. But if you've waited until she appears to want help, then do so. Men sometimes help me pull luggage down from the overhead -- probably to keep me from bonking them on the head! I just say thank you and let it go. In an airplane, you're in a "community" that disbands as soon as you get off the plane.

Common courtesy and being polite is the order of the day, in my opinion -- without expectation and without taking a rebuff personally.

Be VERY careful with women traveling alone at hotels, in hotel restaurants, etc. I do not welcome any attempts at conversation in these instances. I am perfectly content to eat alone, and usually take my iPad so as to have something to occupy my time as I wait for the meal. I am not rude; just not welcoming at all. So, I would advise against any contact. (unless she falls on the floor and you help her up, etc....but that's different.)"

From my sister's response, I have gleaned a few things that are appropriate for men who want to respect and honor women:

1. A woman who is traveling is careful about the people around her. Hence, to inquire into a woman's personal information is not wise. It may give the wrong impression. If a woman freely gives that information, she is either not too savvy about the dangers of doing so or is wanting to have a relationship that extends beyond the airplane trip.

2. It's OK to ask if a woman wants help with her luggage, especially if she is telegraphing that she wants assistance. If she says she doesn't want help, there is no need to take it personally and that she thinks I am a dirty old man.

3. Flying together in a plane is a temporary "community." It operates long enough to get to the destination. Outside of the plane, there should rarely be continued contact.

4. There is no need to be overly friendly to women that are traveling alone. But there is also no need to be rude. Just be observant and if she is in obvious distress, then offer assistance (again if she declines help, don't take it personally).

I hope that this advice helps to spur you into thinking what it means to be a gentleman. A gentleman thinks of others and is mannerly.

What are your thoughts? Is there anything you would add about how to treat women in a business setting?

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Praying for marriage

6/15/2013

Dear Jesus, in all our relationships let our love be unconditional. May we seek others' true good, and affirm each other's unique preciousness. Even where we cannot detect Your presence in another, grant us faith in Your creative love for them. Grant us Your love and wisdom when we undervalue anyone, but also when anyone attracts us.

To see anyone's unique value is to acknowledge the goodness of Your Creation and the wonder of Your expression of Yourself in him or her! Grant us serenity and blessing for each other in our trials and in our joys. In Heaven, everyone will be in love with each other-that is, will recognize the wonderful, unique miracle of each other person. Help us to treat each other with love and consideration in this life.

Jesus I entreat You...Help those who are in danger of deciding to leave a marriage simply because initial attraction has worn off like gloss. Help them to put aside the prevalent belief gained in media, books, magazines and movies that 'falling out of love" means the end of a relationship. Instead it challenges couples to live according to what Jesus teaches about love. Help them to become aware that God never commanded that we 'fall in love" He only repeatedly tells us to love Him above all and to love others as ourselves, faithfully and genuinely even in times of sadness and difficulty.

O God, grant us this prayer for marriage through your son Jesus Christ our Lord - Amen

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.