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4 Creative Ways to Date Your Wife When the Kids Go Back to School

8/31/2015

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If you listen closely, you can probably hear the words, “Yes!” as well as mini-celebrations over the next several days and weeks. Why? Parents all over the country are celebrating as its time for our kids to go back to school!

If your family is like most, including mine, then your summer has been pretty busy. Each year as the summer winds down, we look up and wonder where the time went. The fun of vacations, summer camps, and sports makes summer seem like a blur.

If you aren’t careful, the summer can end and you’ll realize you had a blast, but you didn’t get as much one-on-one time with your wife. Back to school time provides a great opportunity to get some of that lost “adult time” back.

Here are 4 Creative Ways to Date Your Wife When the Kids Go Back to School

The coffee house date for the couple who works outside the home.  When both of you work outside the home, it can be challenging because after getting the kids together for school you are both off to work. One creative way to do this is to find a coffee shop that is mid-point between your places of work and/or your kids’ school. Plan a rendezvous time and meet up for a mini-date over coffee or a bagel.

The physical date for the fitness couple.  If fitness is your thing, you can plan to meet at the gym, back at home, or your favorite running/biking course. This can be after the kids get dropped off, or you can coordinate to do it on your lunch break. If your schedules don’t permit either of those, then wake up early and get a nice morning aerobic workout at home, or jog around the neighborhood.

The night owl date for the couple with very little time.  Maybe the first two ideas don’t work for you because of work schedules or distance between school, home, and work. Over the summer, our schedule is very flexible, especially bed times. When summer ends and school starts, we get back to predictable schedules and bed times. Get your kids to bed at a certain time consistently, and be intentional about using that time before you go to bed. You can talk, watch your favorite show, exercise, or read a book. Whatever it is, be intentional about doing something together during this time.

The vacation day date for the couple who wants more than a couple hours.  Sometimes you want more than a couple hours in the evening, or a few minutes between school drop-off and check-in time at work. Another creative way to date your wife is for both of you to take a day off from work. Plan in advance some things to do and just spend the day together while your kids are at school. Depending on where you live, you could make a short road trip, go on a shopping spree, or do whatever you wish within the six or so hours your kids are at school.

No matter what type of couple you are, dating your wife is important. Back to school time for your kids provides consistency in your schedules that you can use to spend quality time with your wife when you get creative.

© 2014 All Pro Dad. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.


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Sunday Meditation

8/30/2015

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GOD DWELLS IN THE REDEEMED PERSON

In the day of his true restoration, therefore, God once more really dwells in man. We do not say, however, that he actually enters and takes full possession at once. Just as soon as man gives his exiled Father permission to enter as a whole God and a God forever, he enters effectually; but ordinarily he enters by degrees, and in accordance with the usual laws and operations of the human mind. He does not break the vessel of man's spirit, nor mar its proportions, nor deface anything which is truly essential to it; but gradually enters into all parts of it, readjusts it, removes the stains which sin had made upon it, and fills it with divine light. Man's business in this great work is a very simple one. It is to cease all resistance, and to invite the Divine Master of the mind to enter it in his own time and way. And even this last is hardly necessary. God does not wait even to be invited to come, except so far as an invitation is  implied in the removal of the obstacles which had previously kept him out. Man's ceasing from all resistance, and his willingness to receive God as the all in all, and for all coming time, may be regarded as essentially the completion of the work in respect to himself; but the work of God, who is continually developing from the soul new powers and new beauties, can be completed only with the completion of eternity.


edited from A Treatise on Divine Union (1851) Part 7, Chapter 2 by Thomas Cogswell Upham.  You can find his website, managed by Craig L Adams, here:  http://thomascupham.blogspot.com





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The still, small voice

8/29/2015

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And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it”—Isaiah 30:21

 Still, small voice—the words come from the First Book of Kings. The Prophet Elijah emerged from a cave on the mountain called Horeb:

 “ . . a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire . . .” (1 Kings 19:11-12).

 After the fire, Elijah heard a “still, small voice.” God’s voice. God taught Elijah something that day. He taught us. He demonstrated, in dramatic manner, a preferred method of communication.

So, what is the “still, small voice”? Well, it’s more about our thoughts than about an audible voice. So, thoughts . . . they can be crystallized in many ways: in words—sort of an inner voice—or perhaps as pictures, feelings, or impulses. Originating them in the mind of another is neither complicated, nor difficult. We do it every day. Engaging in conversation with someone, we direct their thinking and they ours. There are limits, of course. We need some combination of physical media—ink on paper, pixels on screens, ones and zeros flowing over wires, vibrations of vocal cords, waves of electromagnetic radiation. Does God need physical media to originate thoughts in our minds? No, of course not. If we follow the King, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is there already—he dwells within us (Romans 8:9-11).

 
 
Okay, so what do we do?


Could’ve God already been at work in your mind, originating thoughts? I’ll bet. Could it be that you didn’t notice, didn’t recognize it? Begin today, brother, to sift. Begin to note which thoughts are likely yours alone, which were clearly originated by others . . . and which just might’ve been originated by God.

This post was written by Justin Camp.  You can find his work at the WiRE at www.GatherMinistries.com.
 Copyright © 2013 Gather Ministries, All rights reserved. 



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Spiritual dryness

8/28/2015

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Sometimes we experience a terrible dryness in our spiritual life.  We feel no desire to pray, don't experience God's presence, get bored with worship services, and even think that everything we ever believed about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is little more than a childhood fairy tale.  

Then it is important to realise that most of these feelings and thoughts are just feelings and thoughts, and that the Spirit of God dwells beyond our feelings and thoughts.  It is a great grace to be able to experience God's presence in our feelings and thoughts, but when we don't, it does not mean that God is absent.  It often means that God is calling us to a greater faithfulness.  It is precisely in times of spiritual dryness that we must hold on to our spiritual discipline so that we can grow into new intimacy with God.


For further reflection...

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." - Psalm 63: 1 (NIV)

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Why teen girls are having sex earlier

8/27/2015

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A wife of one of our Ironstrikes men found this article and asked that it be reprinted here.  She suggested that parents talk to their daughters about this article:  

Few things are certain in adolescence, but there’s one thing upon which teenage girls agree: pubic hair is out.

“Everyone shaves. Everything,” says 16-year-old Anne*. “If you’ve left it you are classified as disgusting. You’d be embarrassed for the rest of your life. Boys would [tease you], call you hairy. People start shaving in [7th grade].”

They know, or think they know, a few other things, too. That oral sex doesn’t count as sex. That sending nude pictures via text or Facebook is the new flirting. That boys their age watch porn regularly, and demand from their girlfriends the sexual menu they see online – hairless, surgically-enhanced bodies, ‘girl-on-girl action’, and much, much more.

They are learning from the 21st century’s version of sex education class: the internet; a more enlightening and forthcoming source than nervous parents and teachers. But these lessons are a dangerous mix of misinformation and distorted images of sexuality, which is contributing to behavior that can leave young women with deep psychological and physical scars.

Teenager girls are under more sexual pressure than ever before. The good news is we can help them through it, although that requires a few lessons of our own.

It’s human nature to judge adolescents by our experience. It wasn’t like that in our day, we scold. But for once, we are right – it really wasn’t like that in our day.

For one thing, girls are becoming women earlier than they used to. Reasons range from better nutrition to obesity to the break-down of the family unit.

“When dads aren’t around, they’re more likely to move into puberty earlier,” says parenting expert Michael Grose. “If it starts earlier, I imagine this would mean they are beginning to be sexually active earlier.”

In the past 60 years, the age at which girls lose their virginity has dropped from 19 (when many women were just getting married in the 1950’s) to 16-years-old, but many start much earlier. Dolly magazine’s 2011 Youth Monitor found 56 per cent of teens first had sex between 13 and 15 years old, a figure backed up by an Australian study that found the age of girls’ first sexual experience ranged from 11 to 17 years, with a median age of 14.

Anne Mitchell, the director of the Australian Research Center in Sex, Health and Society, says rates of oral sex are climbing. The center’s latest survey of high school students, in 2008, also showed the number having sex with three or more people a year had increased significantly.

Most worryingly, there has also been a marked increase in unwanted sex, an experience that can have a long-term effect on how a woman feels about herself and her sexuality. “The main reasons are being too drunk or high, and pressure from a partner,” Dr Mitchell says. “Alcohol [consumption] has gone up over time, too, and it’s intimately connected to their sexual behavior.”

Rates of sexually transmitted diseases are rising, especially in the 15-19 age group; in 2008, slightly more than 25 per cent of all chlamydia infections were in the 15- to 19-year-old age group, and girls were diagnosed at three times the rate of boys.

That’s just the statistics; the anecdotal evidence is more frightening. Parenting expert Michael Grose says there is a casual attitude to oral sex. “I’ve heard stories from teachers of oral sex happening at school,” he says. “My generation went behind the shed and had a smoke. It’s been put to me that oral sex at school is like smoking. That’s extreme, but I think extremes explain the norm.”

This doesn’t sound unusual to 16-year-old Anne. “Oral sex happens a lot, it’s before losing your virginity,” she says. “I had a 16th birthday party and apparently two people were doing it on my front lawn.”

Technology has also changed the sexual landscape. Once upon a time we would sit by the phone, praying our crush would call and hoping our parents wouldn’t listen in. These days, there’s constant contact via SMS, Facebook, Twitter, and instant messaging. Parents have little, if any, ability to monitor the conversation.

Teens flirt online, often with people they have not met. “If there’s a guy you’re interested in from another school or something, you might ‘like’ one of his photos on Facebook and get talking to him,” says 16-year-old Rebecca*. “I know lots of people who’ve hooked up that way.” They create online games such as ‘sneaky hat’, in which naked teenagers cover themselves with a hat and post the photograph as the profile picture on Facebook.

Online flirting often becomes more daring, with one party – usually the boy – asking the other to send sexy pictures. “When you’re in year seven or year eight, it’s pretty big,” says Rebecca. “It’s more the younger years, they don’t do [sex] in person, they do it on the internet. One girl was talking to a friend’s older brother, she didn’t know him in real life. She sent him photos. The guy will ask, and the girl will think about it, and she will eventually end up doing it.”

Of course, this can go terribly wrong. “One girl’s photo was passed around,” says Rebecca. “I was sitting on the train and got a Bluetooth message and it was a picture of her. She sent it to one boy, he sent it to a friend, and he sent it around. She was fully naked. You couldn’t see her face, but you knew who it was.”Yet social media is far less harmless than another consequence of the internet; pornography. These days, it is available for free to who anyone who wants it. “I was watching it when I was about 13,” one teenage boy, Mike* said. “It is so easy, all you do is type ‘boobs’ into Google.”

A Sydney study found that almost half of all adults, like Mike, first watched pornography between the ages of 11 and 13. Further research found 92 per cent of the boys had been exposed to online pornography by age 16.

In a flooded market, the industry is producing more extreme material to get an edge. In her research into the impact of pornography, Melbourne researcher Maree Crabbe has found a trend towards sex that is rough, aggressive, and idealizes acts women don’t enjoy in real life – gag-inducing oral sex, anal sex, physical and verbal aggression.

The industry admits this. One porn star told Maree actors were required to be rough with the girl, and take charge. “He had moved from lovey dovey sex, towards material where the pornographers want to get more energy … ‘**** her to destroy her’ ”.

For many boys, porn is their sex education. They copy what they see, and expect their girlfriends to be like the women in the film. “Young people have described to us again and again, that pornography is shaping their sexual imaginations, expectations and practices,” says Maree. “We have had young men who have been genuinely surprised that when they enact what they see in porn, their partner doesn’t like what they were doing, because they’ve always seen women enjoy it on screen.”

Wolf, 40, now worries that “mine is probably the last generation to experience that sense of sexual confidence and security in what we had to offer. Being is not enough; you have to be buff, be tan without tan lines, have the surgically hoisted breasts and the Brazilian bikini wax – just like porn stars.”

Many young women take the sexual lessons from their teens into their 20s and beyond, as evidenced by the rush of young women towards breast enhancement and [genital surgery to look more like airbrushed porn stars]. “The issues that concern me are what the influence of porn seems to be meaning for young people’s capacity to negotiate free and full consent, and experience the kind of sexuality that can feel acceptable and pleasurable,” says Maree.

Arguably, there has never been a more confusing, stressful time to be a teenager.

This article can be found at:  

http://fightthenewdrug.org/growing-up-fast-why-12-year-old-girls-are-having-sex-rougher-earlier/



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Lasciviousness

8/26/2015

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Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these:  Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness.  


We've  discussed adultery and uncleanness.  Today, we conclude this three part series on Galatians 5:19 with a look at lasciviousness.  This strange word, comes from the Greek word aselgeia.  This word describes excess, but it primarily refers to the excessive consumption of food or wild, undisciplined living that is especially marked by unbridled sex.  The word aslegeia is listed as the principle sin of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and the reason that God destroyed them.  

It must be noted again that the word aselgeia also refers to the excessive consumption of food.  This means that in God's mind, it is just as perverted to overindulge in food as it is to engage in sinful sexual activities!  So how does that make you feel about overeating?

All of the works of the flesh can be forgiven -- but before forgiveness comes, sin must be acknowledged.  That is why we must understand what adultery, uncleanness and lasciviousness mean.  Once sin is comprehended, it can then be repented and confessed.  This is God's requirement.

If you have fallen into any of these sins, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to see these sins as He sees them.  Once you get a revelation of His perspective, you won't want to be the same!  You'll understand the grossness of sin in God's sight, and you will want to be changed!

Once you confess your sin, God will forgive you and you can move on with your life.  If your actions have violated your spouse or someone else, pray for God's mighty grace to be upon them to forgive you.  Then begin to take whatever steps are necessary to make that relationship healthier than ever before.

This study is taken from Sparkling Gems from the Greek

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.





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Uncleanness

8/25/2015

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Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these:  Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness.   

Yesterday we discussed adultery (porneia).  Today, we are going to talk about uncleanness and tomorrow, conclude this three part series on Galatians 5:19 with a look at lasciviousness.

The word uncleanness is the Greek word akatharsia, which is the word kathairowith prefix a added.  The word kathairo means cleansed or pure but when you add the prefix a, the condition is reversed, making the object dirty or unclean.  In the New Testatment, akatharsia refers to lewd or unclean thoughts that eventually produce lewd or unclean actions.  So, there is a strong suggestion that actions begin in the mind as unclean thoughts before they manifest as unclean deeds.

"And there was in the synagogue a man with an unclean spirit..."  The Greek actually says that this man was "gripped by the control of an unclean spirit."  It seems that this man had pondered on lewd thoughts for so long that he had thrown open the door for these to seize and control him.  In this verse the word akatharsia is used.  It implies that a demon found entrance into this man's life because he had committed mental prostitution.  He allowed his mind to dwell on things that were forbidden.

"A man with an unclean spirit met him..."   Here akatharsia is used in describing the man possessed by a legion of demons.  In Mark chapter one and now in chapter five, we have two men who are in the grip of an unclean spirit.  It appears that their demon-possessed condition started with impure, lewd, dirty thoughts, since the Greek word akatharsia is used in both verses.  Did Satan lure them into the pornography of unclean ideas or into adultery, and then build a stronghold of uncleanness so robust in their minds that he was able to eventually cause unclean actions to be manifested in their lives and thus completely control them?

Whatever you give your mind to will eventually be your master.   

Tomorrow, we will discuss the word lasciviousness.

This study is taken from Sparkling Gems from the Greek

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Adultery

8/24/2015

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Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these:  Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness.    

Today and the next two days, we are trying to understand a bit better what this verse is talking about.  Paul, writing in the Greek has very specific concepts in mind.  Today, we are talking about adultery and fornication, which both have the same Greek word:  porneia.  This word includes all sexual activity outside of marriage.

When using the word porneia in reference to a woman, it means prostitute.  The woman has entered into the sin of prostitution by selling herself.  This word does not just include professional prostitutes but describes any woman who has committed adultery.  

When using the word porneia in reference to a man who has committed adultery, it depicts a man who has had sexual intercourse with a prostitute.  The word porneia simply means that he slept with a prostitute.  So, in reference to adultery, whenever a man has sexual relations with a woman who is not his wife, God says his action is equivalent to seeking a prostitute for a cheap and dirty thrill.  

Pornography comes from the same Greek word.  In fact pornos (the same greek word for porneia) and grapho which means to write.  Thus pornography refers to the writings or reflections about prostitution (adultery).  This means that when an individual meditates on the writings or the photography contained in pornography, it is the equivalent of committing mental prostitution.  Mental prostitution sheds light on what Jesus said, "Whoever looks on a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  

So, now you know the actual meaning of the Greek word adultery that is used throughout the New Testament. 

So how does this affect your view of someone who committed adultery?
How does this affect your view of pornography?
How does this affect your view of your own sexual sin?



This study is taken from Sparkling Gems from the Greek.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.





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Sunday Meditation

8/23/2015

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One who was there had been an invalid for thirty eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition a long time he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"  John 5:5-6

Do you want to get well?! What a shocking question. Isn't the answer obvious? Why even ask? 

One of the most confusing parts of the recovery process is the fact that we have many layers of resistance to recovery. As we begin to see the changes which recovery will demand, we begin to see how attached we have become to our existing way of life. Sometimes we play games to hold on to the past. We have a good friend who prayed early in recovery that God would deliver her from alcoholism so that she could continue to drink! We are all like this - we want healing but we fear the changes which healing will bring. 

Sometimes the fear of recovery comes from the fact that we can't imagine any way of being in the world other than what we have known. A life consumed with despair, rage and self-loathing may seem pretty awful, but its the only life we may have known. Any change may seem risky and uncertain.

God is not ignorant of our resistance to healing. God asks the difficult question: "Do you want to get well?" It's not always as obvious as it seems. The 12-Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous addresses this issue when it talks about being "entirely ready" for God to change us. The process of becoming "entirely ready" is at the heart of the struggle of recovery. Our hearts and minds are being prepared to answer 'yes' to God's offer of wholeness.

My answer to your question, Lord, is yes.
I am ambivalent at times.
I am uncertain and afraid at times.
But, I do want to get well.
The answer is yes.


Amen.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan 

National Association for Christian Recovery




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Crucifying Confidence in Humanity

8/22/2015

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In the process of entire separation from any and every reliance out of God, we must cease to place undue confidence in men generally. It is a matter of common remark, that the natural man, afraid to put his trust in God alone, generally seeks advice and assistance from his fellow-men; especially from those, who are in some degree conspicuous for information and influence.

Those also, who have known something of the truth and power of religion, but are as yet beginners in the Christian life, have not unfrequently erred in the same way. Many times, instead of looking to God for help, they have sought assistance from near Christian friends; they have unduly relied perhaps upon their public religious teachers, or have sought, in the spirit of distrust towards God, some other exterior source of consolation and support. It is important to observe, however, that the error does not so much consist in seeking the advice and support of men, which under certain circumstances we acknowledge to be very proper, as in seeking it in an undue degree  and to the exclusion of God. Such is the nature of God, and such are our relations to him, that he cannot possibly admit of a rival in our affections. It is reasonable, therefore, that he should expect us in our troubles to make the first applications to himself; and to lay our trials and wants before him with that readiness and confidence, which we notice in little children, who naturally seek the advice and assistance of their parents, before looking to other sources of support. And we shall always find this course safest for ourselves, as well as most pleasing and honorable to God. 

From all forms, therefore, and from all degrees of trust in men, except so far as they are kept in perfect subordination to a higher and ultimate trust in God, there must be a separation. We must learn the great lesson of making God our helper; and not on particular occasions merely, but always. In the beautiful language of the Psalmist, "My soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from him!"

— edited from The Interior or Hidden Life (1844) Part 2, Chapter 10 by Thomas Cogswell Upham.  For his blog, which is maintained by Craig L Adams at http://thomascupham.blogspot.com/2015/08/crucifying-confidence-in-humanity.html 



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