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"I'll stop looking at porn when I get married"

10/31/2016

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Two popular myths single men follow:

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1.  I’ll stop looking at porn when I get married.
    2.  My porn and lust aren’t harming anyone because I’m not married.
Often singles believe because God gave them a sex drive, it means they must be sexually active.  If being sexually active isn’t feasible, or they’ve made a decision to wait until marriage, porn seems like a natural replacement. In fact, porn can almost feel like an act of righteousness for some singles—their way of making sure they aren’t having premarital sex. A Christian single man recently told me he has to look at porn because it’s his way of making sure he doesn’t have premarital sex.

Underneath this mindset is the idea that if and when a single person gets married, they’ll be able to simply turn off the porn switch since they can now have sex with their spouse.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I’ve written about this extensively before, so I’ll sum it up in a nutshell here: the sex in porn (and lust) is of a totally different substance than the sex God designed within marriage. Porn is a smorgasbord of unlimited, perfectly-shaped bodies who have no problems and who “want” you. Your spouse is not going to be a smorgasbord; they are one person.  They will not have a perfect body, even if they have one when you get married. They will have problems. They will not “want you” every second of the day. In other words: they are a human being.

Porn conditions us to be attracted to something that isn’t human. Stop and digest that for a moment. That fact alone ought to make us flee from porn as we know in the depths of our being that we are created to be in sexual union with human beings, not objects of any kind.

God’s sex and porn’s sex are apples and oranges–two totally different substances. If you’ve created an appetite for oranges, apples aren’t going to satisfy you. This shouldn’t shock anyone as millions of married men and women continue to struggle with porn, so why do you think marriage will be unique for you? It won’t be. Your spouse will be a human being, and you need to condition your mind now that sex is about human beings, not objects. Not only for your future marriage, but for yourself and all those around you.

In addition to this strange infatuation with non-humanity, porn conditions us to turn people in real life into objects.  Here’s where the rubber really hits the road: you may never get married.

If marriage is your Plan A to stop looking at porn, will you simply look at it endlessly if God decides you will remain single your entire life? The myth that such a life doesn’t do any harm to anyone is destructively flawed. While you may never get married, you are called to be in community with other believers.

If you’ve been conditioned by porn to turn other human beings into sexual objects for your consumption, then by no means do I want you around my wife or my two daughters! Honestly, this is a scary situation to be in as a man when you can’t be around women in your church because you can’t stop yourself from lusting over them.  And this is absolutely true for single women interacting with men in community as well, the lust knife has no gender preference.

Sure, the stakes with porn are high in marriage. You can break the heart of the one you love, and sometimes, lose your entire marriage and family as a result. But those high stakes by no means diminish the stakes single men and women face every day. It’s not an either/or, it’s a both/and. The situation for single people is different than for married people, but we all serve the same God who designed sex and humanity the same way for all of us.

The irony is, both married and single people alike look to porn to give them what only God can give. Too often, the advice given in porn conversations is “look to your spouse to satisfy your sexual desires, not to porn.” Or single people are told, “Look to your future spouse and save yourself for them.” Both of these bits of advice are flawed. They are flawed because they put a spouse (or a hypothetical spouse) in the place of God, assuming a spouse can give us what only God can give. This is called idolatry. At the end of the day, no one needs to have sex. It’s true. You won’t die without it.

What we all long for from sex, porn, and romantic relationships is to be told we are valuable, approved, and desired.  No one, married or single, will ever truly find these things from another person (or a depiction of a person in porn), but the great news is that every Christian has already found these things from Jesus.  When we each live into these truths in the specific context we’ve been given by God, whether that be singleness, a bad marriage, or a good one, we’ll find we need nothing else to satisfy us.

This post was written by Noah Filipiak of Covenant Eyes.  You can find the original post here:  http://www.covenanteyes.com/2016/09/28/myth-busters-ill-stop-looking-at-porn-when-i-get-married/



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Christian zombies

10/30/2016

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Zombies are everywhere. Ever since the classic “Night of the Living Dead,” the undead have shown up in movies. Zombies now are featured in top-rated cable TV shows, and in apocalyptic novels and survival guides. An entire genre has ignited around the concept of adding zombies to classic literature (“Pride and Prejudice with Zombies,” etc.). But why are we drawn to these gruesome figures?

In the New York Times, columnist Amy Wilentz reminds us why zombies scare us, and why we can’t help but watch through our clenched hands covering our eyes. The zombie myth is rooted in something quite real, and quite terrifying. The zombie stories emerged in a Caribbean context of brutal slavery. The zombie’s horror is that he is, she writes, a slave forever. After all, if even death cannot free you, you can never be free.

That’s exactly the point, and here’s why it should matter to Christians.

Zombies are horrifying not simply because they’re mean and aggressive. They are horrifying because they represent what ought to repulse us: the rotting decay of death. But they still walk. And, beyond that, they still crave. In their search for human brains, they are driven along by their appetites, though always under the sway of a slavemaster’s will.

That’s our story.

The biblical story of the Fall of humanity is one of a humanity that comes under the sway of death by obeying the appetite. God places a fiery sword around the Garden of Eden, Genesis 3 tells us, so that the primeval humans wouldn’t eat of the Tree of Life and live forever. Why? It’s because God didn’t want to consign humanity to a never-ending existence of this kind of walking death. He sentences us to the curse of death so that, ultimately, we can be redeemed.

The Gospel tells us that, apart from Christ, we were walking in the flesh, that is slavishly obeying our biological impulses and appetites without the direction of the Spirit. As such, we were “dead in trespasses and sins” (Ephesians 2:1). But we weren’t inert. We instead, though dead, “walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air” (Ephesians 2:2). We were walking dead slaves.

And, in our death, our appetites weren’t silenced but instead drove us along. This walking death, the Apostle Paul writes, was driven along as we “carried out the desires of the body and the mind” (Ephesians 2:3).

Caribbean people could resonate with the horror of zombies because they knew what it was like to be enslaved by evil people, with no hope of escape. And maybe our culture pays attention to zombies because we know what it is like to be dead inside, but unable to find peace, unable to stop walking.

The Gospel doesn’t just extend our lives forever into eternity. That’s what we, left to ourselves, think we want. The rich young ruler asks Jesus how he can inherit eternal life, but Jesus points out that he wants to eternalize his present state rather than to be hidden in the life of Jesus Himself. That’s a zombie walk, and Jesus loves us too much for that.

Jesus offers instead life, and that abundantly, as we eat of His flesh, drink of His blood, share in His triumph over the accusing slavemaster.

So let’s have some sympathy for the zombies. And next time you see the trailer for a zombie film, or see the picture of a walking corpse on the cover of a novel, remember that that was your story once, too.

This post was written by Russell D. Moore who is dean of the school of theology at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky. This column first appeared on www.russellmoore.com.

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Sunday Meditation

10/30/2016

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Without faith it is impossible to please Him… --Hebrews 11:6

Faith in active opposition to common sense is mistaken enthusiasm and narrow-mindedness, and common sense in opposition to faith demonstrates a mistaken reliance on reason as the basis for truth. The life of faith brings the two of these into the proper relationship. Common sense and faith are as different from each other as the natural life is from the spiritual, and as impulsiveness is from inspiration. Nothing that Jesus Christ ever said is common sense, but is revelation sense, and is complete, whereas common sense falls short. Yet faith must be tested and tried before it becomes real in your life. “We know that all things work together for good…” (Romans 8:28) so that no matter what happens, the transforming power of God’s providence transforms perfect faith into reality. Faith always works in a personal way, because the purpose of God is to see that perfect faith is made real in His children.

For every detail of common sense in life, there is a truth God has revealed by which we can prove in our practical experience what we believe God to be. Faith is a tremendously active principle that always puts Jesus Christ first. The life of faith says, “Lord, You have said it, it appears to be irrational, but I’m going to step out boldly, trusting in Your Word” (for example, see Matthew 6:33). Turning intellectual faith into our personal possession is always a fight, not just sometimes. God brings us into particular circumstances to educate our faith, because the nature of faith is to make the object of our faith very real to us. Until we know Jesus, God is merely a concept, and we can’t have faith in Him. But once we hear Jesus say, “He who has seen Me has seen the Father” (John 14:9) we immediately have something that is real, and our faith is limitless. Faith is the entire person in the right relationship with God through the power of the Spirit of Jesus Christ.

This devotional was written by Henri Nouwen.   
You can find his website here:  henrinouwen.org 
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The method of missions

10/28/2016

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Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations… --Matthew 28:19

Jesus Christ did not say, “Go and save souls” (the salvation of souls is the supernatural work of God), but He said, “Go…make disciples of all the nations….” Yet you cannot make disciples unless you are a disciple yourself. When the disciples returned from their first mission, they were filled with joy because even the demons were subject to them. But Jesus said, in effect, “Don’t rejoice in successful service— the great secret of joy is that you have the right relationship with Me” (see Luke 10:17-20). The missionary’s great essential is remaining true to the call of God, and realizing that his one and only purpose is to disciple men and women to Jesus. Remember that there is a passion for souls that does not come from God, but from our desire to make converts to our point of view.

The challenge to the missionary does not come from the fact that people are difficult to bring to salvation, that backsliders are difficult to reclaim, or that there is a barrier of callous indifference. No, the challenge comes from the perspective of the missionary’s own personal relationship with Jesus Christ— “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” (Matthew 9:28). Our Lord unwaveringly asks us that question, and it confronts us in every individual situation we encounter. The one great challenge to us is— do I know my risen Lord? Do I know the power of His indwelling Spirit? Am I wise enough in God’s sight, but foolish enough according to the wisdom of the world, to trust in what Jesus Christ has said? Or am I abandoning the great supernatural position of limitless confidence in Christ Jesus, which is really God’s only call for a missionary? If I follow any other method, I depart altogether from the methods prescribed by our Lord— “All authority has been given to Me….Go therefore…” (Matthew 28:18-19).

This devotional was written by Oswald Chambers



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What is a missionary?

10/28/2016

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Jesus said to them again, "…As the Father has sent Me, I also send you." --John 20:21

A missionary is someone sent by Jesus Christ just as He was sent by God. The great controlling factor is not the needs of people, but the command of Jesus. The source of our inspiration in our service for God is behind us, not ahead of us. The tendency today is to put the inspiration out in front— to sweep everything together in front of us and make it conform to our definition of success. But in the New Testament the inspiration is put behind us, and is the Lord Jesus Himself. The goal is to be true to Him— to carry out His plans.
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Personal attachment to the Lord Jesus and to His perspective is the one thing that must not be overlooked. In missionary work the great danger is that God’s call will be replaced by the needs of the people, to the point that human sympathy for those needs will absolutely overwhelm the meaning of being sent by Jesus. The needs are so enormous, and the conditions so difficult, that every power of the mind falters and fails. We tend to forget that the one great reason underneath all missionary work is not primarily the elevation of the people, their education, nor their needs, but is first and foremost the command of Jesus Christ— “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations…” (Matthew 28:19).

When looking back on the lives of men and women of God, the tendency is to say, “What wonderfully keen and intelligent wisdom they had, and how perfectly they understood all that God wanted!” But the keen and intelligent mind behind them was the mind of God, not human wisdom at all. We give credit to human wisdom when we should give credit to the divine guidance of God being exhibited through childlike people who were “foolish” enough to trust God’s wisdom and His supernatural equipment.

This devotional was written by Oswald Chambers



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On idolatry

10/26/2016

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It is important to understand the distinction between love, and that excess of love, under whatever circumstances it may exist, which may properly be denominated idolatry. It is one of the directions of the apostle John to Christians, whom he addresses as little children, that they should "keep themselves from IDOLS." 

The term  IDOL, in its original sense, is the name for those false gods, to which human blindness and unbelief have given an outward form, and have set up and worshiped instead of the true God. In its secondary or figurative sense, it is the appropriate name of any object or person, which attracts and concentrates upon itself any affection, or any degree of affection, which belongs to God.

It is worthy of notice, that the ennobling principle of love is the basis of idolatry, as well as the basis of true holiness. But holy love, or love in the true sense of the terms, is always right. Idolatrous love is always wrong love; — wrong either in its place or its degree. And if right love is the highest and best exercise of the heart, it is difficult, on the other hand, to estimate the evil results of a love that is wrongly placed.

Objects, which may easily become idols, by being the subjects of an affection which is wrongly placed, surround us on every side. They are sometimes said to be innumerable. And if that be too strong an expression, it is certain that they are limited in number only by the capacity of inordinate love. This beautiful world, beautiful even in its ruins. which was originally designed to be the temple of God and of his worship, has become one great idol temple. A man's idol may be his property, his reputation, his influence, his friends, his children, those who are bound to him by the ties of natural affection, and even those who are united by religious attachments, and all other persons or things which are capable of being objects of affection, and which can attract that affection in an inordinate degree.

Thomas Cogswell Upham — A Treatise on Divine Union (1851) Part 4, Chapter 9.

For the original post, go to:  http://thomascupham.blogspot.com/2014/08/idolatry.html

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Idolatry of the heart

10/25/2016

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Idolatry of the heart is giving anything other than Jesus the place of preeminence in our hearts. It is critically important for us to recognize that an idol can be anything we give greater devotion to than we do to Jesus. Simply put, an idol is whatever or whoever you and I give ultimate value to in our lives.

Since an idol can be anything or anyone that we give ultimate value to in our lives, then an idol could be…

  • A house
  • A car
  • A job
  • A hobby
  • A position
  • Money
  • Sports
  • Family (spouse or children)
  • Comfort
  • TV
  • Sex
  • Possessions
  • Food
  • Pleasure
  • Power
  • Then there is perhaps the greatest idol of all, the idol of self.
Here is what’s hard about recognizing these things as idols. None of these things are inherently evil. In fact, as we look at this list, we recognize that most of them are good things. It’s not that this is a list of evil things that we need to put out of our lives. Instead, it’s a list of good things that we can make evil by becoming so devoted to them that we make them into idols that compete with Jesus as the primary object of our devotion and affection. Good things become evil things when they are made ultimate things.

A blog I frequently read had an article on how to find the idols in your life. Here is part of what the article said. “Idols are sneaky. They tip toe past our brains, set up shop in a corner of our heart, and begin to grow. Most of the time we don’t even notice because we’ve fallen in love with the idol—it’s become part of what drives us and makes us (momentarily) happy.” The article then goes on to give a “test” to see where your idols might lie. Think through these questions.

  1. What do I worry about most?
  2.  What, if I failed or lost it, would cause me to feel that I did not even want to live?
  3.  What do I use to comfort myself when things go bad or get difficult?
  4.  What do I do to cope? What are my release valves? What do I do to feel better?
  5.  What preoccupies me? What do I daydream about?
  6.  What makes me feel the most self-worth? Of what am I the proudest? For what do I want to be known?
  7.  What do I lead with in conversations?
  8.  Early on what do I want to make sure that people know about me?
  9.  What prayer, unanswered, would make me seriously think about turning away from God?
  10.  What do I really want and expect out of life? What would really make me happy?
  11.  What is my hope for the future?[1]

​Over the summer, I heard a sermon that focused on this form of idolatry and the preacher said that whatever sin we struggle with the most is a symptom of idolatry. The pastor said, “Because the human heart was made to worship someone outside itself, it continually seeks a place to rest.  It seeks an object on which to set its hope.  We simply must go to something or someone to feel at peace.  Scripture teaches that we human beings will ultimately look to God or to something or someone else, be it achievement, relationships, family, status, popularity or even a hobby to make us feel socially connected, personally significant and emotionally secure.  And whatever or whoever we look to to pursue, that will drive everything else in our lives.
”[2]


So what drives what you do? What is the driving force of your life? When you answer that question, you will find what the central value in your life is. This is what you give the greatest amount of devotion to. If this driving force, this object of devotion, isn’t Jesus then it’s an idol and this idol will keep you from knowing Jesus.

Jesus said, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:26-27 (NKJV)

He went on to say, “So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:33 (NKJV)

One of the things that these commands teach us is that Jesus doesn’t take the backseat to anyone or anything in our lives. He is to be the supreme object of devotion. We are to be more devoted to Him than we are to friends, family, jobs, ourselves, our comfort, our pleasure, even our very lives. He says that if we are not willing to forsake anything at His command and for His sake then we cannot be His disciples. In the Gospels, Jesus allowed those who found Him to be too demanding to walk away and many did.

This is why idols of the heart keep us from Jesus. They keep us from giving Jesus the level of devotion that He demands and deserves. Once we recognize the idols in our lives, we have a choice to make. Be devoted to Jesus or be devoted to our idols. We have to choose because we cannot be devoted to both.

For further study read Mark 10:17-31. How did Jesus feel about this young man? What did Jesus demand of this young man? What did Jesus offer this young man? What was this young man’s attitude as he went away? What point did Jesus make to the disciples after the young man went away?

[1] http://theresurgence.com/2011/04/10/11-ways-to-find-your-idols
[2]http://media.thevillagechurch.net/sermons/transcripts/201103061115DWC21ASAAA_BeauHughes-DeepIdols.pdf

This post was written by Rev Stacey Ross.  You can find his blog post here:  
https://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2012/10/30/what-is-idolatry-of-the-heart/


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A tale of two tensions

10/24/2016

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There are two tensions, two stressors at work in my life at any given time. One is driven by authentic things, good things:

The pressure to hit a deadline at work.
The pressure to save money for retirement.
The pressure to spend quality time with my son.
The pressure to pay my bills by the due date.
The pressure to be at a meeting before the designated start time.
The pressure to remember my wife’s birthday.

This type of tension can be a good thing – an inner drive that makes me a responsible and healthy human being, that helps me meet the needs of my family and others who place their trust in me. I need this kind of tension.

And then there’s the tension created by my idolatries.
The pressure to attain power and influence.
The pressure to be known as a perfect father.
The pressure to look like I always have my stuff together.
The pressure to gain accolades and praise from those around me.
The pressure to satisfy that insatiable need for wealth and accomplishment.
The pressure of earning God’s blessing and approval.

This type of tension is dangerous – an inner drive to find my own identity, to fulfill my own destiny, and to become my own savior. I need to repent of this kind of tension. 

Which tension is driving you today? Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the difference, to discern between the two. One is healthy, the other is hindering. One is suitable, the other is sinful.

Which tension tale are you telling?

This post was written by Erik Cooper.  You can find this blog post here:  
http://beyondtherisk.com/2015/03/25/a-tale-of-two-tensions/

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Us v Them

10/24/2016

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Have you ever encountered someone who exerted an "us vs. them" mentality? You know the type. He treats you like a commoner, while he assumes that he is a much better, higher class of person. He pities your sad state of affairs, thinking that he will always be "better" than you. Oh, such people may never come out and admit such; but the attitude is present just the same.

This mentality is demonstrated in a variety of ways. The rich view the poor with half-hearted yet disdainful pity. A self-righteous person thinks of him- or herself as better than someone known for a particular sin. The person of a majority race views another person of a different, minority nationality as a lesser form of being. Someone who thinks he's accomplished a great deal during his lifetime may look upon others who do not "measure up" to his standards as less worthy of respect.    

These sinful, deceptive, superior attitudes have been plaguing the human condition for thousands of years. Even in the New Testament, when Christianity was blossoming, Christians had to be reminded to abandon an "us vs. them" disposition.

The apostle Peter, for example, being a Jewish man who, in the old Jewish order, would not have eaten with non-Jews, began, under the new Christian order, to eat with Gentiles. But when some "prominent" Jewish men came to his village, "he drew back and kept himself separate [from the Gentiles] for fear [of the Jews]" (Gal. 2:12). His actions led other believers in Christ to the same attitude and practice.

The apostle Paul called this "us vs. them" attitude hypocrisy (Gal. 2:13). Why? I can think of at least two biblical reasons: 1) all people are sinners on the same sinful playing field and thus all need a Savior; and 2) the gospel is for allpeople, not for the socially elite of any group. 

Paul states, "But when I saw that they were not acting consistently with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas [Peter] before them all, 'If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew [strictly following Jewish laws in order to be approved by God], how can you compel the Gentiles to live like Jews?'" (Gal. 2:14 NRSV) An "us vs. them" disposition is inconsistent with the truth of the gospel (Gal. 2:14). It denies the base reality of our fallen condition (i.e., the sinful condition of each and every person alive), promotes a deceptive self-righteousness, and is an affront to the holiness of God.

I think this sinful attitude is an affront to the holiness of God because He alone is worthy of absolute dignity. No human being could ever match His worth and excellence (nobility, majesty). When a fallen human being believes himself to be better than another fallen human being, he assumes the eminence of God Himself. 

Scripture informs us, however, that there is none who is truly righteous or good or eminent -- not one (Rom. 3:10). "And he [Jesus Christ] is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent" (Col. 1:18 ESV, emphasis added). We need to have our perspective priorities set aright. Only God is worthy.

Jesus' half-brother writes, "Let the believer who is lowly boast in being raised up, and the rich in being brought low, because the rich will disappear like a flower in the field" (James 1:9-10 NRSV). The so-called "lowly" in the world who trust in Christ have an eternal inheritance that cannot be diminished or taken from them. 

Yet the so-called "rich" in the world who trust in Christ will have no more (and no less) an eternal inheritance as well. Though the rich in this world may have more possessions now, they will have no advantage over the poor in God's kingdom (James 2:5). The "lowly" in Christ have been "raised up" to great spiritual heights (cf. Eph. 1:3), while the rich will "be brought low" -- i.e., die just like everyone else.

James went on to condemn partiality (James 2:1-7), concluding, "You do well if you really fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' But if you show partiality [favor some people, disdaining others], you commit sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors" (James 2:8-9 NRSV). 

We too often neglect Scripture's admonition: "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think" (Rom. 12:3 NRSV). There is no "us vs. them." There are only fallen human beings among other fallen human beings.  

This is guest post is written by anonymous.

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Sunday Meditation

10/23/2016

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God's Kingdom & Nature

God, in being restored to the human soul and made at peace with it, not only sets up his kingdom in man, but in other things with which man is essentially connected. When the kingdom of God is restored in the human heart, it is restored everywhere. It should not be forgotten, that the world, in all its varieties, is but one system; a connection obviously running through all its parts; each part being sustained by and harmonizing with the others.  The mineral kingdom has a definite relation to the vegetable; the vegetable to the animal; the animal to the sentient; and the sentient to the moral. They expand and develop themselves in progression, and with an infinity of ties and relations. They are parts of one great and harmonious system of arrangements, conceived by one perfect wisdom, and sustained by one perfect love. The completion of all is in man. He stands at the head; and if all are made for man, it is equally true that man is made for all.

Time and God's grace will make this great truth better understood than it is at present. There is no isolation in the universe, except what is made by sin. There is a true and noble sense in which Adam and all created things around him were one. There is a sense in which Adam and all his posterity were one. There is a sense in which Christ, the second Adam, and all his redeemed children are one.

When man fell, nature fell. The flowers wept, and bowed their heads in sorrow. The beasts and the birds, that once loved him, now fled away from him. And the reverse will be true, when man returns again. All nature, sympathizing with the restoration of its head, will wipe away its tears and put on its smiles, whenever man arises from the dust. Life will return; and beauty will return with life. The cessation of mental death will be crowned with the return of physical health and strength, which will be experienced in outward nature as well as in man's person. The curse of "thorns and thistles" will be revoked, because man, on whose account it was inflicted, will be restored to favor. "Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir-tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree. The trees shall clap their hands; and the hills and the mountains shall break forth into singing." [Isa.  55:12, 13.]

Fear, also, shall be taken away from the beasts of the field. The bond of union, beginning with man in his restoration to God, will extend everywhere. The infusion of love flowing from God to man will be felt in every part of creation. The birds will sing with a happier note. "The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion, and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them." [Isa. 11:6.]  

edited from A Treatise on Divine Union (1851) by Thomas Cogswell Upham.  His blog is managed by Craig L Adams and can be found here:   
http://thomascupham.blogspot.com

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