Where can porn take you?  I met a man who confessed to me that he digs thru the garbage dump to collect his porn.  

This man belongs to a very conservative sect of Christianity where one does not use electricity.   Because he is so separated from modern culture, I asked him how he became addicted to porn.  His answer was astonishing.  "I was dumping some trash out of a garbage bin and I saw a Playboy in the dump with the centerfold laying open."  He had never seen anything like this.  He had heard about "centerfolds" and was always intrigued but was thankful that those "worldly temptations" were something he never had to deal with.  Nevertheless, He quickly grabbed this magazine and tucked it down his pants.  Later that day, when he was alone, he ogled this picture and found himself extremely attracted to the naked woman.  He started to fantasize about her and then masturbated to her seductive image.

To me, the message was clear but lost on him:   Porn is garbage.  It belongs in the garbage.  It should stay in the garbage.  Garbage in, garbage out.  

What the garbage collector didn't know is that porn is insidious.  Porn never gives up.  It keeps taking and taking, offering false feelings of comfort until you end up doing things that you never imagined.

It didn't take long before centerfolds were no longer satisfying to him.  He started noticing, at the dump while looking for more centerfolds, other pictures.  In these pictures, there were women posing seductively with animals.  These pictures sparked further prurient interests for him.  He started attempting to have sex with his goat.  Over time, he moved on to other animals.  His addiction finally caught up with him when he found himself naked in the pig pen on all fours.  That's when he came to his senses and realized that he really, really, really had a problem.  

He was fortunate, because if he had been caught during these activities, he would have been charged with a crime.  Zoophilia is illegal in many U.S. states.  The medical issues that can occur are numerous.  However, the legal charges and the medical issues are not as severe as the toll that such behavior takes on a man's soul.  

More than zoophilia is the duplicity that this man lived.   He would go to church regularly and then engage in these detestable behaviors at other times.  That's what the sin of porn does.  It causes a man to pretend to be holy.  His energy ends up being consumed by things that weaken him rather than strengthen him. 

You may be thinking, "Porn will never do that to me.   I can control it."  However, let me assure you, porn will win.  It always does.  

Porn is garbage.  It belongs in the garbage.  It should stay in the garbage.  Garbage in, garbage out.  

If you are looking  at porn, stop.  Get rid of your stash.  Tell your pastor about your decision.  Become accountable to a counselor and a men's support group. 

With God's help, you can stop.  


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

There is so much more to this question than just a cut and dry answer. I think when Pastors are approached with this question its easier to answer on the spot than in a blog. Answering this question takes having some background and some more information than just saying Yes or No. Lets look at some questions I have been asked through the years.

Is Masturbation OK if we are married?

Many times people get very legalistic about what they can and can’t do with the confines of a marriage bed. As we talk about this the first Caveat is I would never endorse anything that makes someone feel shame or anything that is being forced on one another. Paul uses these words when dealing with our hearts 1 Corinthians 6:12-13

12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. That being said I think there are ways that manual stimulation can be used between a married couple that are fine and don’t need to bring up thoughts of guilt or shame.

What if my Spouse and I can’t be together?

I get this question from time to time from military members who are deployed or are separated for some reason from their spouse. The Bible is very clear that you should only have eyes for your spouse. If this brings you closer to your spouse during long separations and doesn’t drive a wedge in your relationship I would say that could be OK. I would beware of the wandering mind and if doing it distracts from thoughts of your spouse I would steer clear of it altogether.

My wife isn’t that interested in sex and I am so can’t I do this to tide me over until the next time we have sex?

Although this may seem like its the same question as above I view this differently. Masturbation can distract and be a coping mechanism that isn’t healthy inside of a relationship. I would strongly warn against doing this and labeling it as a need. Sexual appetites are like any others the more you feed them the more they consume us. Excessive masturbation can lead men and women to have a skewed view of sex with your spouse.

I’m single and It keeps me from sleeping around. Isn’t this ok?

I would disagree with the thought process here altogether. Jesus said this when dealing with thoughts of the mind.Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your lusting after women its the same thing. Keeping a pure mind is difficult enough in todays world and adding masturbation and fantasy to it is not going to make that any easier. Masturbation is not simply a physical act it also engages the mind as well, and that is where we need to be extremely careful.

Is the act of masturbation alone a sin?

The Bible tells us everything we need to know not everything we want to know. Unfortunately the bible isn’t filled with an FAQ section. The Bible is very specific when it comes to the heart issues that can surround masturbation. The Bible tells us not to worship ourselves, Not to lust after women, That our eyes are the window to our soul, To be careful and guard our hearts and many more things that can relate to this issue. When pressed I don’t think we can say the act in and of itself is a sin but it can cause us to sin and this is why we must be very careful when dealing with this subject.

This post was written by Rod Poepping of XXX Church.  The original post with comments can be found here:  http://www.xxxchurch.com/men/pastorsblog/what-do-i-do-when-asked-if-masturbation-is-ok.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Despite recent strides in "sex addiction" research, the condition does not make the cut as an official psychiatric disorder, according to the American Psychiatric Association.

On Dec. 1, 2012 the APA approved the latest version of its mental health handbook known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). The manual includes several new disorders such as hoarding and binge eating.

But guidance for diagnosing and treating sex addiction, formally known as hypersexual disorder, won't be included.

Although the manual has an appendix that includes "provisional" conditions requiring further research, hypersexual disorder will not appear in this section either.

The decision comes after a study published in October in which researchers tested the proposed criteria for hypersexual disorder, and found that physicians generally disagreed on who should be diagnosed with it — a demonstration of the criteria's reliability and validity.

Rory Reid, a research psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles, who lead that study, said he was not surprised the APA did not approve hypersexual disorder for the DSM-5, because sexual disorders are generally controversial.

There are also still questions the APA may want addressed. Studies of the criteria included only people who were already seeking help for a mental condition, or were referred to a mental health clinic, Reid said. So it's not clear whether the criteria would apply in diagnosing people in the general population, he said.

In Reid's study, hypersexual disorder was defined as "recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual behavior," that lasted at least six months.

Diagnosis requires that these urges cause the patient distress, and aren't brought on by drugs or another mental disorder. The behavior must also interfere with their life, for instance, some patients in the study lost jobs because they could not refrain from watching pornography and masturbating at work. Developing the criteria was a significant step in the field because it will allow researchers to study the disorder in a uniform way, Reid said.

And although hypersexual disorder is not officially acknowledged in the APA's new manual, Reid said he would see little change in his day to day work.

"People are still coming into the therapist office and saying this is a problem. As a psychologist...I'm going to try to understand what's going on, I'm going to try to help them," Reid said. "That’s true whether it's in the DSM or not."

The original post for this blog can be found at:  http://news.yahoo.com/sex-addiction-still-not-official-disorder-192645302.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Every time a young man watched pornography over two years, he experienced a headache so severe he had to stop watching, according to a report of his case.

The headache would develop gradually, beginning within the first five minutes of the video, and would reach its most severe point within eight to 10 minutes, according to the neurologists who treated the man, a 24-year-old bachelor in India.

There are two types of "primary headache associated with sexual activity," as the condition is properly called, and it sounds as if this man had the less common type, which progresses slowly along with heightening sexual arousal, Dr. Amy Gelfand, a neurologist at the University of California, San Francisco School of Medicine, said after hearing about the case.

"The more common type is a sudden and severe headache that occurs at orgasm," Gelfand said. The seeming commonness of that headache may simply be due to the fact that people are more likely to bring them to medical attention, frightened by their timing, she added.

Regardless of the type, primary sex headaches are a mystery, Gelfand said  — no one really knows what causes them. Some have speculated that muscle contractions in the neck and jaw during sex may somehow trigger the headaches, while others have suggested they occur because blood vessels in the head are abnormally reactive to sexual activity.

The researchers who treated the man in India suggested his case was caused by changes in the pain-sensing nerves in the face and jaw, along with increased pain sensitivity due to "a heightened emotional state associated with viewing pornography."

Primary sex headaches strike 1 percent of the population at some point in life, and are more common in men, Gelfand said. About half of people who have them also have migraines, but it's not known whether having migraines raises the likelihood of having sex headaches, or vice versa  – or whether other untold factors are behind both.

The patient in India — an otherwise healthy man who worked as a software professional — had no history of migraines or tension headaches in general, and he reported no previous headaches linked with sexual activity, including masturbation. He'd had no head injuries or meningitis infections, the researchers said.

Previous studies have not suggested any link between the headaches and specific sexual behaviors, the researchers said.

The results of the man's physical and neurological exams were reportedly normal. Gelfand said that is often with the case in people with primary sex headaches. (In fact, if an exam revealed a physical cause of the headaches, then by definition, the person would be instead diagnosed with a "secondary sex headache," she said.)

The man was advised to take a combination of ibuprofen and acetaminophen half an hour before watching porn, and he reported the drugs significantly relieved his pain.

In most people, the headaches occur over a period of a few months, rather than years, Gelfand said. Patients are often treated with a drug called indomethacin, which is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug available by prescription in the U.S., and is also used to treat other types of headaches.

The case report was published online June 14, 2012 in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

The original post can be found at:  
http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/2778-porn-sex-headache.html

"I got up in the middle of the nite and he was just sitting there on the couch, watching a scrambled TV channel" is what this single mother told me of her teenage son.    This was the first indication that she had that her son may have had sexual compulsion issues.    

Now, he was sitting in juvenile detention and she was trying to find a counselor to get help for her son.  He had been picked up for entering his neighbors apartment without permission.  

The neighbor had set a trap for him.  She had been noticing that some of her underwear was missing.  At first, the neighbor thought that her underwear disappeared in the dryer.  However, some times, when she would come home from work, her underwear drawer was in disarray, different from what it was when she left for work in the morning.  The police were notified and a hidden camera was in place.  Upon reviewing the recording with the police, she identified this young man as the suspect.  When the police picked him up, the young man seemed relieved that he was caught.  He broke down and told his story.  

His upbringing did not reflect anything out of the ordinary, just a father who was absent.  After his parents divorced, his mother worked two jobs and his father came around for special occasions but otherwise did not have much contact with him.  He wanted manly affection and wasn't getting it from his father.  He wanted a mother's affection and she gave him love as she could but was so busy with work and raising him and his older sister.  

The young man stated that he was viewing porn with some of his friends and there was one movie about a man who wore women's panties because he liked the way it felt against his genitals.  This young man was looking to soothe himself because of the lack of affection he was getting from his family, so he started to get his sisters underwear and found it very sexually stimulating.  Next, he was getting up late at nite to watch the Playboy channel on TV.  Mom didn't pay for that channel but it still came in scrambled and sometimes he could make out pictures and could hear the sound.  While sitting there watching  this channel he would masturbate into his sister's panties.  

Eventually, this got to be less stimulating so he started fantasizing about a sexual liaison with the neighbor.  He found that there was a broken window that the landlord had not fixed that he could easily get into.  So, on occasion, he would get into his neighbors apartment and take some underwear.  Later, that nite, in front of the TV he would fantasize and masturbate.  

You can imagine where this young man's sexual urges may have taken him had he not been stopped by the police.  Nevertheless, he entered treatment for his sexual behavior which led to him committing crimes and it appears that a future life of crime was averted.  This young man heavily invested himself in treatment.

There were a few things missing from this young man's life that could have helped him not get involved in criminal activity:

1.  If his father had taken more of interest in him and spent time with him he may not have craved the affection he so desired
2.  If his mother did not have to work two jobs to pay the bills she could have spent more time with him and also had a better handle on his activity
3.  This young man was very introverted and did not participate in the social life of his school.  If he could have joined sports, the arts, band, journalism, etc that could have helped develop his social skills and also given him interests that weren't so purient.  
4.  This young man was not involved in a church youth group.  The parents of other teens could have served as pseudo-surrogate parents, or the youth pastor could have spent time with him.  

These could have helped him develop in a healthy manner.

Ultimately, this young man's behavior is his responsibility.  It is easy to blame parents, school, church or society and he came to realize that he was responsible for his own feelings, attitudes and actions.  Nevertheless, if these four things had not been missing from his life, he would have had more opportunity to challenge some of his assumptions without having to be forced into treatment.

So, men, we have an important place in our society and our churches.  Take the time to note those young men who are struggling and pray for opportunities to influence them.  

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

I don’t believe there’s a stronger, more inspiring verse in the whole Bible, especially for young men. Dads should have their sons commit every single word of this verse to memory—and then follow up by teaching them in practical ways how to stand on, trust in, and believe these words.

Here are what I consider to be the top life-changing promises for your son from this verse:

• You are not alone! Other boys just like you (including your friends!) are struggling with lust too.
• You’ll never face a temptation that is greater than you can handle.
• God always provides a way out.

Say “No” to Masturbation

Um…did he just say the dreaded “M” word?!? You bet I did. Look, I know this can be a really controversial subject. And you can find strong arguments on both sides of this issue. But I am here to tell you that masturbation can (and does) lead a young boy down a dark path toward a secretive, almost inevitable, out-of-control addiction. Here’s the truth: I myself struggled with this as a child—which fed directly into an ongoing struggle with it during my young adult years. It will destroy your kids’ lives! Now, don’t shame your boys, threaten them, or act like the Big M is the unpardonable sin. But don’t ignore it, either! There is middle ground. Show your boys love and grace. Maintain honest, open communication with  them that gives you the rapport to have authentic, heart-deep conversations about this topic. Make your talk times a safe place where your boys are free to fail, ask questions, and wrestle with difficult, conflicted emotions.

 “Bounce” Your Eyes

“Bouncing” your eyes is a deceptively simple technique that I learned from Arterburn and Stoeker’s great book, Every Man’s Battle. (They have a newer version, too, directed specifically at younger men.) Here’s how this works: If you’re at the pool and you see a toned, barely-covered booty, you simply “bounce” your eyes away from her. When you’re standing in the lunch line at school, and some girl’s wearing a strappy number designed specifically to showcase the shape, style, and color of her bra, you “bounce” your eyes somewhere else. “Let’s see… How many ceiling tiles are in this room, anyway…?” Even if you’re at church—yes, it even happens there, sad to say!—and some lady has her “girls” out on display, “bounce” your eyes.

Dads, I can’t encourage you enough to teach your boys this at a young age. I promise it will pay dividends. I’d even recommend you check out the book Every Young Man’s Battle. Your sons are worth protecting!

That Girl Has a Dad

When you catch your son scoping out a young lady, here’s the gist of the conversation you need to initiate with him (in an appropriate setting): “So, son… You know that girl you were just lusting after earlier?” (Pause for dramatic effect.) “Well, that girl has a dad. His name is Jesus.” While moms can do this too if it’s necessary, I’ve generally found it to be more effective when dads take the lead on this one. Dads, you need to teach your boys to honor the daughters of God—instead of lusting after the daughters of God. One of these things pleases and brings honor to Him. The other one does not.

And finally, the single most important lesson you can teach your son about managing lust:

Live It Out

Dads, you can’t tell your son to live a life that you’re not willing to live yourself. There’s an ugly word we have for that: Hypocrisy. You know how you can’t stand it when you see hypocrisy in other people? What makes you think your kids can’t see it in you? Now, if you’ve been struggling with lust, masturbation, or pornography, or if you’re a sex addict, you need to know: You’re not alone!

Now is the time. This is your moment. Don’t put it off any longer. And stop lying to yourself that you’ll stop on your own eventually. Let’s be honest: Has that worked for you yet? Then get real and get help now. This is your chance to change history. You can reverse the curse for your family!

This post was taken from  Chris Spradlin’s new e-book, Sex, Lust, & XXX: Fighting for Your Kids’ Purity in a Sex Saturated World

For another good resource for bringing up your son God's way, click here

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

In my conversations with  non-Christians, and many Christians, I get the response that masturbation is not harmful.  Interestingly, I came upon some secular research that discusses the potential harm masturbation brings.  


Myth #1 - Frequent masturbation prevents prostate cancer

This is simply untrue.  Research from Dr. Brody in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reports that heterosexual (penile-vaginal) intercourse (PVI) brings health benefits.  The myth of frequent masturbation as healthy was incorrectly reported by a study of poor design, with the assumption that ejaculation, rather than how the ejaculation was produced, was the important finding.  A meta-analysis of nine studies that supported this myth concluded that ejaculation frequency was related to a decrease in prostate cancer. However, a more recent study that was designed better and distinguished between the different ways an ejaculation was produced, found that PVI was actually protective of prostate health in older men and neutral in younger men.  Other forms of ejaculation were not protective.

Myth #2 - Frequent masturbation benefits your sex life

A recent (2012) report from the Archives of  Sexual Behavior demonstrate that greater masturbation frequency is associated with impaired sexual function, greater dissatisfaction with relationships and love for one's spouse.  Greater masturbation frequency is also associated with more depressive symptoms and several other indicators of poorer physical and mental health, including greater blood pressure reactivity to stress, anxious attachment and immature psychological defense mechanisms.   Dr Costa concludes, "The only sexual behavior that is consistently related to better psychological and physical health is PVI (p.539)."  More research has also shown that masturbating to porn makes for less than satisfying relationships.

Myth #3 - Orgasm is orgasm 

PVI releases four times the prolactin that masturbation produces.  This study (2006) demonstrates PVI is more physiologically satisfying than masturbation and produces more physiological and psychological benefits than any other sexual activity.  Masturbating to porn has also be found to decrease sexual satisfaction.

#4  There is no such thing as too much masturbation

Research is indicating that with the accessibility of high speed online pornography, excessive masturbation is causing problems:

• Dry ejaculation and painful climaxes
• Sores, blisters, swelling, bruising of the penis from excessive friction
• Inability to feel intercourse and/or derive pleasure from intercourse
• Loss of interest in sex and/or increase in uncharacteristic sexual activity
• Edging for hours to defer climax often because it is less pleasurable
• Addiction related symptoms:  depression, social anxiety, brain fog, withdrawal symptoms, etc.

The problem today is easy access to ever-novel sexual stimuli that can override our innate sexual behavior and throw our brains into addiction.  This is such a new area of research that there is a dearth of information about porn and masturbation addiction.

#5 You can't cut back on masturbation without hurting yourself

Anecdotal accounts of men slowing down their masturbation actually has had surprisingly positive effects:  more awareness, more social, more optimism and feelings of more stability.  Reports of an increase in seeing humor in situations, as well as feelings of calm and creativity.  The ability to see women as friends instead of sexual objects also increased.  

So there you have it.  
Information from secular sources.  
No interjection of "religion."  

It certainly is apparent that God does know what is best for us.  

This post is an adaptation from an article found in  Psychology Today.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Last week was anti-porn week here at Ironstrikes.  I hope that you were able to read about the five topics:

1.  Porn and sexual satisfaction
2.  Porn and fake relationships
3.  Porn and women
4.  Porn and cruelty
5.  Porn is insidious

Readers have asked about the Zillman-Bryant study from which these five posts were taken.  In the early 1980s, Dr. Doll Zillmann of Indiana University and Dr. Jennings Bryant of the University of Alabama wondered whether continued exposure to video pornography had any impact on people's sexual beliefs and their attitudes towards women.  For their experiment, 80 male and 80 female college-age participants were divided into three subgroups, and each group was shown 4 hours and 48 minutes of media.  

1.  The first group, the “Massive Exposure Group,” was shown 36 non-violent pornographic films over a six-week period. 

2.  The second group, the “Intermediate Exposure Group,” was exposed to 18 pornographic films and 18 regular films over a six-week period. 

3.  The third (control) group, the “No Exposure Group,” was shown 36 non-pornographic movies over a six--week period

You may be saying, "that is an old study, what relevance does it have to today?"

At a 2011 conference, Dr. Mary Anne Layden commented about Zillmann and Bryant’s 25-year-old research. “When this study was done, what was called the ‘Massive Exposure Group" -- seeing five hours of porn over  a six-week period -- "I now call that the Friday Afternoon Group."

Her statement is far from an exaggeration.  A recent survey of 29,000 people at North American universities, shows 51% of men and 16% of women spend up to five hours per week online for sexual purposes, and another 11% of men spend anywhere from five to twenty  hours per week. What used to be “massive” exposure is now common practice.

Furthermore, the Internet has not only increased the public’s exposure to porn, but has also changed the way it is consumed. Dr. Jill Manning believes Zillmann and Bryant’s findings have greater applicability in the modern age because Internet porn tends to be more interactive and consumer-driven. Viewers can select exactly who and what they want to see, custom-tailored to their greatest specifications.

This week, I will be giving four solid tips in helping to curb your vulnerability to porn.

This post is taken from the booklet, YOUR BRAIN ON PORN by Luke Gilkerson.  The booklet can be found at:  http://www.covenanteyes.com/brain-ebook/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Pornography is tearing apart the fabric of our society. You may think this is an overstatement. After reading,“The Social Costs of Pornography” by the Witherspoon Institute, I think it may be an understatement.

In 2008, the Witherspoon Institute sponsored the first multidisciplinary exploration of the social costs of pornography. Scholars from various fields including philosophy, psychology, and medicine were included in the forum. Every major shade of religious belief was represented, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, agnosticism, and atheism. And both the left and right in American politics were present. They all agreed that there is a substantial multidimensional, empirical record of the harms pornography brings to society. Obviously, such agreement is rare.

Today’s pornography is different from any in the past in three ways. (1) Accessibility.  The Internet has made porn ubiquitous. (2) Quality. Today’s porn is much more hardcore. (3) Consumption. Porn consumption has increased radically with the advent of the Internet. 69% of men and 10% of women report viewing pornography more than once a month. 87% of men admit using it in the past year. The researchers conclude, “In sum, there is evidence that more people—children, adolescents, and adults—are consuming pornography—sporadically, inadvertently, or chronically—than every before” (15).

How does pornography actually harm people? The researchers list a plethora of ways. Each of these points is supported with empirical evidence in the report. Keep in mind that these are objective facts about pornographic consumption, not my subjective opinions.

·      Those who view pornography overestimate how frequently certain sexual acts are actually practiced, which increases one’s willingness to do unconscionable things (18).

·      Porn viewers physically map their brains based on the images they see. Pornographic consumption re-maps the physical structure of the brain (19).

·      Many men who view porn lose the ability to relate to or be close to women (20).

·      Porn viewers become de-sensitized to the barrage of imagery, and as a result, child pornography and violent pornographic images often lose their ability to shock and disgust (20).

·      Women often report distress and harm when discovering that their husbands view porn. They typically feel betrayal, loss, mistrust, devastation, and anger as a result of their partner’s behavior.

·      Porn users have an increased likelihood of divorce and family break-up (23-24).

·      Those who had an extramarital affair were three times more likely to have used Internet pornography than those who had not.

·      Porn leads men to place less value on marital fidelity and more value on casual sex (24).

·      Therapists report seeing fourteen- and fifteen-year-old boys addicted to porn (29).

·      An Italian study reported that boys who view porn were more likely to report having sexually harassed a peer or having forced someone to have sex (30).

·      Adolescent girls who report using pornography are more likely to report being victims of passive violence such as sexual harassment and rape (31).

·      Today’s consumption of pornography encourages sexual exploitation such as trafficking (33).

·      Adolescents who view pornography are more likely to view women as sexual objects (35).

·      Porn consumption raises the risk of sexually risky behavior (35).

·      Men who use pornography are less attractive to potential female partners (37).

·      Exposure to pornography decreases sexual satisfaction with one’s partner for both men and women (38).

·      Chronic pornography use is associated with depression and unhappiness (38).

·      Users often report disgust and shame at finding themselves stimulated by images that would have once repulsed (39).

What do we do? For starters, can you help spread the word about the dangers of pornography? Please consider getting a copy of the report, “The Social Costs of Pornography,” and study it. Talk to your friends about it. Share it with your family and church. Blog about it. Or forward this blog to as many people as you can. There needs to be a renewed conversation about how pornography is damaging this generation. We can no longer ignore the most dangerous health hazard to this generation. Our kids deserve better.

This post was written by Sean McDowell.  The original post can be found here:  http://www.conversantlife.com/morality/the-social-costs-of-pornography

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

Porn is a problem. It's a personal problem for many and a cultural problem for all. You may think you have not been affected by porn, but you have because it's embedded in the surrounding culture. The staggering size of the pornography industry, its influence upon the media and the acceleration of technology, paired with the accessibility, anonymity, and affordability of porn all contribute to its increasing impact upon the culture.

Pornography affects you whether you’ve ever viewed it or not, and it is helpful to understand some of its negative effects, whether you are a man or woman, struggling with watching it, or simply a mom or dad with a son or daughter. There is a plethora of research on the detrimental effects of pornography (and I do not think that what follows are necessarily the worst of them), but here are seven negative effects of porn upon men and women:

1. PORN CONTRIBUTES TO SOCIAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS WITHIN MEN 

Anti-pornography activist, Gail Dines, notes that young men who become addicted to porn, “neglect their schoolwork, spend huge amounts of money they don’t have, become isolated from others, and often suffer depression.” (Pornland, 93). Dr. William Struthers, who has a PhD in biopsychology from the University of Illinois at Chicago, confirms some of these and adds more, finding that men who use porn become controlling, highly introverted, have high anxiety, narcissistic, curious, have low self-esteem, depressed, dissociative, distractible (Wired for Intimacy, 64-65). Ironically, while viewing porn creates momentary intensely pleasurable experiences, it ends up leading to several negative lingering psychological experiences.

2. PORN REWIRES THE MALE BRAIN 

Struthers elaborates,  As men fall deeper into the mental habit of fixating on [pornographic images], the exposure to them creates neural pathways. Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with woman are routed….They have unknowingly created a neurological circuit that imprisons their ability to see women rightly as created in God’s image (Wired For Intimacy, 85).
In a similar vein regarding porn’s effect upon the brain, Naomi Wolf writes in her article, "The Porn Myth,"

After all, pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers imaginable. If you associate orgasm with your wife, a kiss, a scent, a body, that is what, over time, will turn you on; if you open your focus to an endless stream of ever-more-transgressive images of cybersex slaves, that is what it will take to turn you on. The ubiquity of sexual images does not free eros but dilutes it. 

3. PORN TURNS SEX INTO MASTURBATION 

Sex becomes self-serving. It becomes about your pleasure and not the self-giving, mutually reciprocating intimacy that it was designed for.

4. PORN DEMEANS AND OBJECTIFIES WOMEN 

This occurs from hard-core to soft-core pornography. Pamela Paul, in her book Pornified, quoting the research of one psychologist who has researched pornography at Texas A&M, writes,

‘Softcore pornography has a very negative effect on men as well. The problem with softcore pornography is that it’s voyeurism teaches men to view women as objects rather than to be in relationships with women as human beings.’ According to Brooks, pornography gives men the false impression that sex and pleasure are entirely divorced from relationships. In other words, pornography is inherently self-centered–something a man does by himself, for himself–by using another women as the means to pleasure, as yet another product to consume (80).

Paul references one experiment that revealed a rather shocking further effect of porn: “men and women who were exposed to large amounts of pornography were significantly less likely to want daughters than those who had none. Who would want their own little girl to be treated that way?” (80).

Again, it needs to be emphasized, that this is not an effect that only rests upon those who have viewed porn. The massive consumption of porn and the the size of the porn industry has hypersexualized the entire culture. Men and women are born into a pornified culture, and women are the biggest losers. Dines continues,

By inundating girls and women with the message that their most worthy attribute is their sexual hotness and crowding out other messages, pop culture is grooming them just like an individual perpetrator would. It is slowly chipping away at their self-esteem, stripping them of a sense of themselves as whole human beings, and providing them with an identity that emphasizes sex and de-emphasizes every other human attribute (Pornland, 118).

5. PORN SQUASHES THE BEAUTY OF A REAL NAKED WOMAN 

Wolf, in her own blunt way, confirms this,

For most of human history, the erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn (Quoted in Wired for Intimacy, 38).

6. PORN HAS A NUMBING EFFECT UPON REALITY

It makes real sex and even the real world boring in comparison. It particularly anesthetizes the emotional life of a man. Paul comments,

Pornography leaves men desensitivzed to both outrage and to excitement, leading to an overall diminishment of feeling and eventually to dissatisfaction with the emotional tugs of everyday life…Eventually they are left with a confusing mix of supersized expectations about sex and numbed emotions about women…When a man gets bored with pornography, both his fantasy and real worlds become imbued with indifference. The real world often gets really boring…” (Pornified, 90, 91).

7. PORN LIES ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE MALE AND FEMALE 

Dines records how porn tells a false story about men and women. In the story of porn, women are “one-dimensional”–they never say no, never get pregnant, and can’t wait to have sex with any man and please them in whatever way imaginable (or even unimaginable). On the other hand, the story porn tells about men is that they are “soulless, unfeeling, amoral life-support systems for erect penises who are entitled to use women in any way they want. These men demonstrated zero empathy, respect, or love for the women they have sex with…(Pornland, xxiv).”

This content originally appeared on theResurgence.com. Resurgence exists to train people to love and worship Jesus in all of life. Visit theResurgence.com for more gospel-centered resources.

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