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Watching porn makes you want more porn

10/2/2014

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As Solomon said, sex is intoxicating (Song of Songs 1:4). To his students he wrote, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth...be intoxicated always in her love,” but do not get drunk on the embrace of a forbidden woman (Prov. 5:18-20)." 

Solomon had no knowledge of the human brain the way we do today, but his words on the intoxicating nature of sexuality take on a new richness as we study the effects of pornography on the mind and body. 

Two weeks after the Zillmann-Bryant experiment, all participants were given an assortment of pornographic and non-pornographic films to watch in private. Those who were exposed to more pornography were significantly more likely to want to watch hardcore porn. 

Continually watching pornography has been shown to produce an escalation effect. Fifteen years after this experiment, Dr. Zillmann continued research in this area, finding that the habitual use of pornography led to greater tolerance of sexually explicit material over time, requiring the viewer to consume more novel and bizarre material to achieve the same level of arousal or interest.18 

The hot-button issue today is the question of “porn addiction”—can someone become literally addicted to pornography? In a 2008 survey, over 90% of therapists believed a person could become addicted to cybersex.  Some have proposed calling this “hypersexual disorder,” and recent studies in neurochemistry confirm these findings. In his book Wired for Intimacy, Dr. William Struthers discusses at length the various hormones and neurotransmitters triggered by watching pornography. He writes: 

"As men fall deeper into the mental habit of fixating on these images, the exposure to them creates neural pathways. Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with women are routed. The neural circuitry anchors this process solidly in the brain. With each lingering stare, pornography deepens the Grand Canyon-like gorge in the brain through with images of women are destined to flow. This extends to women that they have not seen naked or engaging in sexual acts as well. All women become potential porn stars in the minds of these men."

Ultimately, the “addiction” label may or may not be helpful. There is no medically diagnosable line one crosses from being a non-addict to being an addict—it is a gradual move. Author Michael Leahy, a self-proclaimed recovering sex addict, has been to more than 200 college campuses with his Porn Nation: The Naked Truth presentation, and he says the No. 1 question he hears from college students is, “Can I look at porn recreationally without becoming addicted to it, and is there anything wrong with that?” Even in light of his past, Leahy chooses not to focus on the addictive character of pornography, but rather on its sexually exploitative message. “So,” Leahy responds, “do you think it’s okay if I beat and berate my wife just once a month? I mean, I’m not addicted to it.”  Usually reframing the question this way helps young men and women to see the problem of pornography differently.

Regardless of the specific labels we use, the intoxicating nature of pornography cannot be denied. The more we watch pornography, the more pornography we want to watch: it is like a toxin that gets into our blood. This is one great example of what Paul calls “the law of sin,” sin’s persuasive pull, which he says resides in the physical members of our bodies (Rom. 7:22-24). We can become captive to the impulses of our brains and bodies when they are trained by sinful indulgence. 

This post is taken from the booklet, YOUR BRAIN ON PORN by Luke Gilkerson.  The booklet can be found at:  http://www.covenanteyes.com/brain-ebook/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Are you sabotaging your marriage?

5/15/2014

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“You’re going to vacuum before they get here, right?” Leslie asked in an anxious tone as we were pulling into the garage.

“I’ve got it under control,” I murmured.

We jumped out of the car; each grabbed an arm full of groceries and hurried toward the kitchen.

“I’ll take care of these groceries so you can get started on the vacuuming,” Leslie said.

The tension was rising because in less than an hour, two other couples would be at our doorstep expecting a dinner party.

“Don’t forget to light the candles and turn on the music before they get here,” Leslie hollered from the kitchen.

I heard what she said but didn’t reply as I walked into my study to look through some “urgent” mail.

Only a couple of minutes passed, it seemed to me, when Leslie came in to my study and in exasperation asked: “What are you doing?”

“Reading my mail,” I responded defensively and with the best look of confusion I could put on my face. She didn’t buy it. “Don’t worry,” I said, “I’ll take care of the other stuff.”

Leslie sighed and left the room.

Five minutes later I heard the sound of the vacuum in the living room. I’m almost done here and then I’ll go in and help her, I said to myself. Ten minutes later the vacuum stopped.

I bolted from my chair and walked to the living room. “I thought I was going to do this,” I said to Leslie.

“So did I,” she replied.

We’ve all weaseled our way out of our spouse’s “to do” list at one time or another. Haven’t we? After all, we’ve worked hard, we’re tired, busy, preoccupied, maxed-out, whatever.

However we defend it, subtle selfishness is a deadly for couples. It lurks just beneath the surface whenever we are tired and there’s a household chore to be done or an errand to be run. That’s when we pretend we don’t notice the chore or we “forget” about the task, hoping our spouse will take over so we don’t have to.

Subtle selfishness seeps into our marriage in a myriad of ways. I (Leslie) am the first to admit I can selfishly hoard my husband’s time, for example. I can complain to Les about his busy schedule but never consider adjusting my own calendar for his benefit.

Or, I might think nothing of spending extravagantly on a luncheon with one of my girlfriends and later snip at Les for indulging himself with another computer gadget he “doesn’t need.”

Let’s face it. In big and small ways we all squirrel away money, energy and time for our own advantage.

Here’s the problem with subtle selfishness: it cuts the heart out of marriage. We can rationalize our selfish ways all we want, but we are missing the point of our partnership when we do not pitch in with a generous spirit and help our spouse with the task at hand.

This blog post is from Drs Les & Leslie Parrott.  I encourage you to order their book, Trading Places


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Can I Really Change?

5/14/2014

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One of the things that is exciting about being involved in a church plant is the influx of new people coming to know Jesus, seeing miraculous things happening and being energized by new Christians.  It is absolutely thrilling when a person who previously didn't regard Christ as his/her Savior experiences a life-changing decision.  It boosts my faith when these people "who don't know better" really believe that God can do anything.

Having been a Christian for over 40 years, I think that I got this Christian thing down.  I can easily become complacent and lazy.  Yet, these new Christians are an inspiration.  They remind me of how I need to rely more on Christ and less on myself. 

I was in a small group from our church and we were praying for these new people.  I was struck by a thought that I am sure came from God.  I remember thinking, "you don't really believe that these new Christians are gonna make it, do you?"  It was difficult for me to admit that to myself.  But I sensed a further prompting, "tell these people in your small group what you have been thinking."  So I said, "this is hard to say but I'm gonna say it.  I have to confess to the sin of pride, of elitisim.  These new people that we have been praying would come to our church, I have been thinking that they wouldn't last.  That they aren't really gonna make this Christian thing work for them. I've been thinking that they will never be as good of a Christian as I am."  Now, I would like to say that my statements changed somebody but these statements only changed me.  

I am glad that I was brave enough to say out loud what I have been thinking for a while.  It was difficult but humbling.  I didn't experience any condemnation from my small group friends but rather an open discussion about attitudes and how we need to allow God's Holy Spirit to change us from the inside out.

I was thinking about my comments and my attitudes a little later, and I had another thought, "If these new Christians don't make it, you will be partly to blame.  It is up to you to offer encouragement, discipleship, friendship and support." 

That's one of the many things that I like about the Holy Spirit.  He's direct, to the point and doesn't just blast away at me.  God's Holy Spirit is an expert marksman.  He never misses His target.  He sees something that needs to be corrected and all I have to do is listen, trust and obey Him.  

I'm glad that after being a Christian for all these years, that God hasn't stopped with molding me into the image of Christ.  

If I'm honest and humble, He will do just that.  
He will do the same for you.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Know thyself

4/29/2014

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How well do you know yourself? Often I have learned aspects of my character or personality from other people -- facets that I didn't recognize but others have known all along. Because I didn't know myself well, nor did I understand who I was (identity), I often thought and behaved in ways that were inconsistent. Only within the last few years did I discover that I lived much of my life in pursuit of pleasing others, or at least trying to be viewed by others as they wanted to view me.

I came to discover that I am a unique individual -- all of us are unique persons. Our respective, unique personalities and quirks not only identify us but are a gift from God our creator. But our uniqueness can also cause us problems, especially when others do not understand us, or do not care to appreciate us. Henri Nouwen, in his book The Inner Voice of Love, writes (emphases added):

"When you discover in yourself something that is a gift from God, you have to claim it and not let it be taken away from you. Sometimes people who do not know your heart will altogether miss the importance of something that is part of your deepest self, precious in your eyes as well as God's. They might not know you well enough to be able to respond to your genuine needs. It is then that you have to speak your heart and follow your own deepest calling.[1]"

The temptation is very real for you to try to be what you think others want you to be, or what others have even told you how you should be, but that will only cause you problems. You must refuse to allow yourself to be molded by what others want you to be. Why? I can think of three reasons. 

First, God created you as a unique human being. No one has ever been exactly like you and no one will ever exist exactly like you. Only you can be you in this life. To attempt to be any other person, or exist in any other manner, would betray God's special creation of you. When He redeemed you, by grace through faith in Christ, He did not destroy your unique character and personality -- He reformed and refashioned it (even if sinful desire remains) and He enjoys your unique existence. 

Second, God wants to conform you to the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29). God, your creator, is not interested in you becoming like what others want you to be. He is ultimately interested in progressively transforming you into the image of His one and only Son, for your good and His glory. To attempt to be any other person, or exist in any other manner, would betray God's design for you in Christ. 

Third, for the sake of honesty, you must be true to yourself. Were you to conform yourself to the wishes of others, you would be living a lie, and a lying life does not honor your creator. Attempting to be any other person, or to exist in any other manner, is to live a lie. What could go wrong for you if you tried? Nouwen writes:

"There is a part of you that too easily gives in to others' influence. As soon as someone questions your motives, you start doubting yourself. You end up agreeing with the other before you have consulted your own heart. Thus you grow passive and simply assume that the other knows better.[2]"

You will become increasingly more unstable, incapable of making your own decisions, and codependent upon others for much of the issues of life. You will become an easy target upon whom others can prey; be taken advantage of; lose your sense of self-worth and dignity; and become an object that is neglected, dismissed, and abused by others. Know thyself, be true to thyself, and be faithful to your creator who created you in His image -- who recreated you in Christ's image.

Finally, recall the words of St Paul to the Galatians: "Am I now seeking human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Gal. 1:10 NRSV). Though our context may differ from that of Paul, we learn that even he had to discover and embrace who he was, in Christ, and not to let people intimidate him or dictate the course of his life. He had to be true to the Lord, true to the Church, and true to himself. May all of us learn the value of being true.  

__________

[1] Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom (New York: Image Books, 1998), 44. 

[2] Ibid. 



This post was written by Anonymous.  You can find the original blog post with comments, here:  http://credendum.weebly.com/1/post/2014/04/know-thyself-and-be-true.html

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What makes a fool a fool?

4/1/2014

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Nabal, whose name actually means 'fool,' was a wealthy man, who is in the prime of his career as we enter this story.  While his wife Abigail is described as “clever and beautiful,” Nabal himself is described as “surly and mean.”  As a sign of his success, Nabal is described as having 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats.  And it is shearing time, when the long labor of husbandry was brought to a successful conclusion, and so the shearing is often accompanied by a great feast that celebrates the event.  As Nabal is cashing in on his success and celebrating, David is living the life of a fugitive.  Already, David has been anointed as the chosen king of Israel by the prophet Samuel to replace the disgraced King Saul.  

Our story begins with a note that Samuel has died and all of Israel gathered to mourn his death, recognizing that he spoke on behalf of God’s will.  It was, then, God’s will for David to be king, but King Saul was still living and it was Saul’s intent to thwart God’s choice and to kill David.  So David, with 600 of his warriors, is living as a fugitive, hiding and avoiding the armies of Saul that pursue him.  And that means that, while Nabal’s shepherds were out in the wild, leading the sheep from place to place so that they could graze, they were alongside David’s army.  And David was already acting like a good king – having been a shepherd himself – by protecting Nabal’s shepherds from bandits and predators, never taking advantage of them for their own sake.  One of Nabal’s shepherds puts it this way: “… the men were very good to us, and we suffered no harm, and we never missed anything when we were in the fields, as long as we were with them; they were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep.”

So, when the time of shearing came, David sent 10 men as emissaries to Nabal, to offer him peaceful greetings, to offer themselves as his servants, and to request that Nabal acknowledge their kindness with the request, “Please give whatever you have at hand to your servants and to your son David.”  It was all very proper, and in fact, a very humble solicitude by David to someone who, unknowingly, was in his debt.

But Nabal is a fool and a fool says in his surly and mean heart that there is no God.  “There is no God” means that Nabal’s prosperity is due to himself alone, with no thanksgiving due to the likes of David.  “There is no God” means that Nabal is not indebted to anyone, let alone obligated to open his hand in generosity to those who are in need.  And, most importantly for our story, “There is no God” means that Samuel has not spoken on God’s behalf, that David is not, in fact, the one chosen by God to be Israel’s king.  So, Nabal, the fool, responds to David’s proper and humble request with a reply that many of our most vaunted thinkers would argue is simply good economics: “Who is David? Who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants today who are breaking away from their masters. Shall I take my bread and my water and the meat that I have butchered for my shearers, and give it to men who come from I do not know where?”  

Nabal is a fool because he imagines that his little fiefdom of prosperity is his own doing, that God had nothing to do with his life of ease.

We can see now that the biblical definition of a fool is quite complex.  What makes a fool a fool is not a matter of intellect; it is a matter of morality.  In its biblical definition, the ‘fool’ is one who acts and lives as though there were no God at work in the world.  To say in one’s heart ‘There is no God’ means that there is no order or moral structure to the universe, it means that we are not interdependent with other creatures for life, it means that living with compassion and charity is only an option if we so choose, that we are simply free to live according to our caprice, without consequence and without obligation toward others who inhabit this space.  

But, if we accept in our hearts that there is a God, then everything changes.  To say in our hearts that there is a God means that love becomes the chief of all virtues, because the world is suddenly inhabited by others who have ultimate value and not just instrumental value according to what we can gain from them.  

The biblical definition of a fool is not simply a matter of intellectual embrace of concepts.  It has everything to do with whether one lives as a responsive, loving child of God in a world filled with God’s beloved creatures.


This post was adapted from Rev Davis.  To find the original post, click here

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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I'm giving up self-righteousness for Lent

3/6/2014

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I’m giving up self-righteousness for Lent.

I don’t even know if you can do that. Does that qualify? I don’t come from a faith tradition that regularly observes the church seasons, but I see all my Facebook friends giving up sugar, or television, or even Facebook itself, and I think “that’s good….wow, that’s gonna be tough….I hope they can pull it off.”

What’s something I hold onto more tightly than anything? What’s something I could lay down as a sacrifice during this Lenten season?

My self-righteousness.

I know, I know. It sounds all existential doesn’t it? But the last few years have reminded me of something incredibly important.

I’m a broken mess.

Now you wouldn’t really know it to look at me. I’m not a heroin addict. I don’t run around on my wife. I’ve got a good job, live in a respectable neighborhood, do my best to love my kids and give my life to those around me. The addiction I migrate back to isn’t going to land me in any rehab I know of. It’s socially acceptable. In fact, it’s socially admired.

It’s my belief in me.

I want to fix myself. I want to earn my way. I want to be admired and respected. I want you to think I’m more than I am. I want my good deeds to outweigh my bad. I want to control my own destiny. I want to be my own Savior.

And even though I fail every single time, I crawl right back and try again.

I need the Gospel. I need Jesus. The only One who can really fix what’s wrong with me. The only one who can redeem the power and potential that’s inside of me.

I can’t. But He did.

Jesus did.

And so this Lenten season I’m laying down my self-salvation projects. And if it’s all the same to you, with God’s help, I’m not going to pick them back up again.

If you begin recognizing Lent today, don’t allow the ritual to lose its meaning. Let it point you to Jesus. He’s the only place righteousness can be found.

This post was written by Erik Cooper.  For the original post, go to:  http://beyondtherisk.com/2014/03/05/im-giving-up-self-righteousness-for-lent/


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Porn = Adultery

11/27/2013

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I know a guy who cheats on his wife. He cheats on her every day. He cheats on her multiple times a day. He’s a husband and a father and a serial adulterer.

I shouldn’t know this fact about him, but it came up in conversation a few days ago. We were talking about the divorce rate; both of us gave our theories as to why the statistics are so high. I mentioned in my diagnosis a few studies that show pornography to be a root cause in over 50 percent of divorces annually.

He laughed. “People don’t get divorced over porn.” He went on to explain that porn isn’t a “big deal” to most people. It’s not “like it’s cheating or something.” He told me that he looks at it multiple times daily. His wife, he insisted, might be a little peeved if she knew the extent of it, but only because women overreact about “that kind of thing.”

What kind of thing? Their husbands spending all day obsessively plunging through the darkest regions of the internet for graphic sexual images of rape, abuse, perversion, exploitation and other forms of filthy depravity previously unknown to mankind?

Yeah. That kind of thing. No reason why any wife should be too upset about that, apparently.

Listen guys, I know this is an uncomfortable conversation. But it’s time we man up and get real about pornography. First things first: if you’re married and you look at porn, you are cheating. Period. From a Christian perspective, this can’t be debated. Christ laid it out very clearly: if you lust after another woman, you have committed adultery. When we look at porn we are choosing to succumb to that lust; we are indulging it, fertilizing it, giving it respite in our minds. We are diving into it headfirst and soaking in it like a sponge. We are lessening ourselves, betraying our wives and participating in the violent exploitation of women (and girls). Or minds and our bodies belong to the Lord and to our wives; pornography, therefore, intrudes on their domain. If we look at porn, we are adulterers. We are adulterers in all the worst ways.

We don’t even need to refer to Scripture to figure out the simple equation that porn equals adultery.

Why wouldn’t it?

Because you aren’t physically in contact with another woman?

So what? That’s merely a matter of semantics and circumstance. The absence of physical touch doesn’t automatically free you of the scarlet letter — if it did, ‘sexting’ with other women would be fair game, I suppose. How would you feel if you looked through your wife’s phone and found racy, sexually graphic text messages she’d sent to a man at her office? Would you be alright with it as long as she could prove she never had any physical contact with him? Or is that totally different because she knows the guy, whereas porn is anonymous and impersonal? See, we find ourselves constructing many arbitrary lines of distiniction when we are deteremined to rationalize behavior we instinctively know to be immoral and wrong.

But, OK, what if she didn’t know the guy? What if she was engaging in “fantasies” with men she never met? Imagine that, in your cyber travels, you stumbled upon a porn site featuring pictures and videos of a particularly alluring young female: your wife. How would that sit with you? Your wife selling digital sex all over the internet — how would you like that? It might cause a bit of a marital dispute, wouldn’t you say?

If you wouldn’t want your wife being a porn provider, you ought to understand why she wouldn’t want you to be a porn consumer. If you wouldn’t want her to invite and encourage other men to violate her in their minds, you ought to understand why she wouldn’t want you to accept the invitation to violate other women in your mind.

I don’t mean to concentrate only on married men. Porn is poison for everyone, married or not. And I’m not here to castigate you if you’ve stumbled. We live in a society that preys upon a man’s weaknesses, shoving sex into his face at hyper speed every day, all day, all of the time. This isn’t an excuse; just an attempt to put things into context. I won’t yell at a guy who fights a porn addiction anymore than I’d yell at a guy who fights a crack addiction. But at least the crack addict likely won’t encounter very many people (besides his dealer) who will tell him that it’s actually healthy to smoke crack. If he ventures outside of the abandoned shack where he scores his dope, he probably won’t find any respectable people who will say, “hey, crack isn’t a big deal — it’s totally natural to smoke crack, man!” In that way, the crack smoker has a leg up on the porn addict. The porn addict, by contrast, has to fight both the compulsion itself and the myriad of creeps who will try to convince him that it’s all just a bit of innocent fun.

That’s a lie, of course. It’s not innocent. It’s not fun.

I could cite for you the mounds of psychiatric research proving the detrimental effects of pornography on the brain. But you can do that research yourself.

I could tell you about sex slavery, human trafficking, drug abuse, and child molestation, and I could explain how the porn industry wouldn’t exist without these necessary ingredients. But these are conclusions you can draw on your own, if ever you take even a moment to think about it.

I could remind you that these women you find on your porn sites might not be women at all — they could be children — and there’s no way for you to know for sure. I could then point out that any avid porn customer has most likely at some point been a child porn customer, whether he knew it or not. But this is, indeed, an obvious and inescapable reality.

I could tell you that many children view graphic porn for the first time before the age of 12. I could tell you that we haven’t even begun to reap the atrocious fruits that will come from an entire generation raised on the heinous perversions of internet pornography. But it’s probably too late for these warnings.

So what is left? Perhaps nothing, really. Pornography is evil, empty, deadening, dirty — this is something we all know. That’s why, unless you are either psychotic or utterly despicable, you wouldn’t want your daughter to get into the porn business. That’s why most people hide their porn habits. That’s why it still isn’t considered acceptable to browse “adult” websites at your desk at work or at a table in Starbucks (although people still do, in both scenarios). That’s why you only find porn shops and strip clubs in the slummy, rundown parts of town. No matter how hedonistic and “open minded” we become, we still recognize porn as something that ought to be stowed away in the dank, dark corners of our lives. This is Natural Law, and we can’t escape it. We have an innate understanding of right and wrong, whether we want it or not.

Married men: I think we should be spending our free time with our families, or reading interesting books so that we can sharpen our minds, or building things, or exercising, or doing anything else that will make us better men. Porn will not make you a better man. It will make you smaller. It will make you a liar. It will kill that instinct inside you that calls you to protect and honor women. It will turn you into something you never wanted to be. It will turn you into a sneaky, shameful pervert. It will turn you into an adulterer.

Real men don’t look at pornography.



This post was written by Matt Walsh.  To find his original post with comments, go here:  http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/11/25/married-men-your-porn-habit-is-an-adultery-habit/


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.



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The church encourages me to serve Jesus

9/14/2013

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And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, Hebrews 10:24 (NKJV)

As a whole this community is suffering for their faith in Jesus. This doesn’t take into consideration what other kinds of suffering may be going on. In this community there may have been wives who had been abandoned by their husbands and husband who had been abandoned by their wives. In this community there may have been parents who were dealing with the loss of a child.

In this community there may have been people struggling financially because of the loss of a job. In this community there may have been people grieving over the loss of a loved one. In this community there may have been people that were stressed out because of all that was going on in their lives. Yet in the midst of this community that was going through hardships the inspired author tells them not to turn their focus inward.

How many of us know how easy it is during hard times to let our focus turn inward and begin to only think about ourselves and our problems? I think this is one of the easiest things in the world to do. Most of us are naturally selfish and self-centered anyway. Let problems come into our lives and watch us take our selfishness and self-centeredness to a whole nutha level.

Here we are told not to become self-centered and self-focused but to consider one another.The picture here seems to be that a church should be filled with people who care enough about one another that we lovingly watch over one another so that when a brother or sister becomes discouraged or begins to drift in their commitment to Jesus we go to one another with the sole purpose of stirring each other up to love and good works. What beautiful picture of what the church should be.

I want to point out here that this isn’t just speaking to the pastor. The inspired author doesn’t lay the responsibility to do this at the pastor’s feet. The other doesn’t say, “Consider one another so that you may go tell the pastor to stir one another up to love and good works.”  God lays the responsibility to consider one another and to stir one another up at all of our feet. If you see someone that is discouraged, hurting or drifting in their commitment to Jesus, YOU have a responsibility to go to them in love and seek to stir them back up to love and good works.

This, in my opinion, is one of the greatest failures of the modern church. We see no responsibility for anyone outside of ourselves. Here is what is tragically sad. It’s not that we don’t see one another become discouraged or begin to drift. It is that instead of going and trying to stir one another back up, we either callously turn a blind eye to it, or wickedly use it as an opportunity to talk about one another. If we are guilty of doing either of these we should repent and ask God to forgive us for this sin.

Not only should we consider one another to encourage one another, but as we gather together we should be encouraged to serve Jesus. Our time together shouldn’t motivate us to complacency. What we do together shouldn’t end in the church building. As you read Scripture you see that what we do in together should motivate us to serve Jesus out in the world. Too many times we think of coming to church as our service to Jesus but that’s really not true, at least not entirely. Coming to church isn’t our service to Jesus as much as it is a service station that prepares us to go and serve Jesus. So a part of what the church does in encouraging our commitment to Jesus is to encourage us to be faithful in serving Jesus.

We do this through singing songs that remind us of our need to serve Jesus.

We do this through giving people opportunities to use their spiritual gifts.

We do this through encouraging people to see the needs in the world around us and then take the initiative to do what they can to help.

We do this through studying what the Bible says about our need to serve Jesus.

This means at times we will study about our need to take up our cross and follow Jesus. This means at times we will study about our need to share the Gospel.

This means at times we will study about our need to help the help the poor and visit the shut-ins.

This means at times we will study about our need to find and use our spiritual gifts.

This means at times we will study about our need to be salt and light in the world.

The church encourages us in our commitment to Jesus by challenging us and encouraging us to serve Jesus.

For further study read Ephesians 4:11-16.

What is the pastor to do?

What are the people to do?

What is the purpose for the pastor and the people each doing what they are supposed to do?

This post was written by Rev Ross.  For the original post, go to:  http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2013/08/22/the-church-encourages-me-to-serve-jesus/

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A tale of three pastors

7/23/2013

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Picture
Let me tell you a tale of three pastors.  All successes in their own right.  I would be pleased to be a member of their congregations.  They are good men, godly men, holy men.  They have the same Holy Spirit working in their lives....  yet, they are different.  And sometimes, they rub me wrong.  

At least two of them do...

One pastor was talking about how the Military creates dependency.  "In the military, you don't have to make any decisions, all decisions are made for you, you just obey orders.  They feed you, house you, raise you into a fighting machine.  They tell you where to live and who to make friends with."  (Just in case you're wondering, no, this pastor has never served in the military, although he has had numerous military folks in his congregation.)  Yet, when I think about this pastor, he went straight from high school, to college, to seminary, to his first church.  He serves in a denomination where the pastor is a professional.  The churches in which he has served have always providing housing, paid his expenses, and given him a nice salary.  (He is well within the top 1% of financial earners in his church.  To his credit he does tithe his salary.)  His denomination tells him when to move to another church.  Does that sound independent to you?

Another pastor was talking about how the new generation of churches will be smaller and transient with bi-vocational pastors.  This pastor is a good scholar.  He has researched trends in the church and realizes that is what he needs to be training the next generation of pastors to do.  Yet, when I think about this pastor, he went straight from high school, to college, to seminary, to his church.  He serves in a denomination where the pastor is a professional.  The churches in which he has served have always providing housing, paid his expenses, and given him a nice salary.  His church isn't a mega-church by any standards but it is a good sized, medium church.  He remarked the other day, "I haven't mowed a yard in years.  People from the church come over and mow my yard (actually the yard of the parsonage where he lives that the church provides for him as part of his salary package)."  Does that sound bi-vocational to you?

Another pastor, now at the end of his ministry due to his age, reflected with me regarding his life as a minister.  He never had a church of over 250.  He accepted meager salaries in spite of having seven children.  He told me stories about God's provision:  coats for his children that suddenly appeared on the doorstep one frigid winter morning, receiving "blue milk" and cheese from the local dairy, having an abundance of fresh farms eggs from an unnamed person in the community, working side-by-side with parishioners in painting and refurbishing the church (and telling of the wonderful theological truths and friendships that occurred during these times), caring for the church building by cleaning toilets, mowing the yard, taking out the trash, etc.  Also, he never had a parsonage.  Every home he lived in he either rented or owned (ironically, now at a ripe old age, on his meager salary, he owns several homes and they are rented by pastors or parishioners of his former churches). Each of these homes, he cared for in painting, refurbishing, caring for the lawn and shoveling snow.  (Oh, that reminds me, he shoveled the snow at his churches.  He wanted his church to be welcoming even during bad weather.)  He stated he would never cancel church.  "What if someone found their way to the church during bad weather only to find the doors locked?  What if that was the time that they decided they needed Jesus?  If even only one person showed up, I still had church."  He NEVER wanted to count on the church to take care of him.  He told me that he knew that he was called to be a pastor and in doing a pastor's work, he KNEW that God would take care of him.  His salary was just to pay what expenses that he had as he never went into debt, owing no man anything.  

Like I said in the first paragraph,  three pastors:  All successes in their own right.  I would be pleased to be a member of their congregations.  They are good men, godly men, holy men.  They have the same Holy Spirit working in their lives....  yet, they are different.  And sometimes, they rub me wrong.  At least two of them do...

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Sin for a season

7/10/2013

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Picture
There's a sweaty hand handling his cocktail napkin
"Come on up and see me" is scribbled with a gold pen
"But you'd better ring twice"

Seven months after his little indiscretion
He sits with his wife at a therapy session
For a little advice

"If the healing happens as the time goes by
Tell me why I still can't look her in the eye"

"God I'm only human, got no other reason"
Sin for a season

There's a shaky hand shaking with the hand of her hostess
Drank a little much, but she'll drive herself home
If she can make it to her car

She never saw the sign or the boy with his daddy
Driving home late from their very first ballgame
And they don't get far

Now the years run together as her guilt goes wild
She still sees the body of an only child

"God I'm only human, got no other reason"
Sin for a season

Wealthy lips say "keep us from the Evil One"
While the praying hands prey with deliberate cunning
On the carcass of the cold

Gonna get the good Lord to forgive a little sin
Get the slate cleaned so he can dirty it again
And no one else will ever know

But he reaps his harvest as his heart grows hard
No man's gonna make a mockery of God

"I'm only human, got no other reason"
Sin for a season

This song was written and recorded by Steve Taylor.  For the page about this song, go to:  http://www.sockheaven.net/discography/taylor/meltdown/06.html


To hear the song, go to:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHAnGG3rd10

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