Did you know that how you talk about each other to your friends and family can predict your success as a couple?
A ten-year study at the University of Washington followed 95 couples beginning six months into their marriages. The initial hour-long interview together probed their relationship, their parents' union and their philosophy of marriage.
More than what was actually said, researchers noted …
- whether they expressed fondness and admiration for their partner,
- if they talked about themselves as a unit,
- if they finished each other's sentences,
- referenced each other when they told a story,
- and whether what came to mind was pleasant.
Turns out that couples characterized by these ways of talking about one another and their relationship are far more likely to enjoy life-long love.
In fact, with this information alone, researchers can predict with 87% accuracy whether a couple will end up divorcing.
Think about that.
How you talk to others about your spouse and your relationship is a huge indicator of the state of your union. Even within just the first six months of marriage, the signs become pretty clear.
The authors of the study found that couples who endure talk to others about their spouse as if they are wearing “rose-colored glasses." Those who will eventually divorce talk to others about their spouse with cynicism.
How can this be?
It comes down to how our attitudes shape the way we view your spouse. If you give public praise to others about your spouse, you will inevitably look more favorably upon him or her yourself.
You will discover a deeper appreciation for your partner than you had before.
In fact, the more opportunities you find to talk positively about your partner when he or she isn’t present, the more likely you are to increase your loving attitudes and behaviors toward him or her. In other words, what you say about your spouse, for good or ill, shapes the way you think, feel, and act in your marriage.
Reflect and Respond - What grade would you give yourself when it comes to how you talk about your spouse to friends and family, and why?
This post was written by Drs Les & Leslie Parrott. You find information about their latest book: YOUR TIME-STARVED MARRIAGE at http://store.lesandleslie.com/collections/your-time-starved-marriage/products/your-time-starved-marriage?mc_cid=4d0b223de0&mc_eid=8676cc37de