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Cautions to Pastors (and people who support them)

4/24/2013

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I’ve known more than one pastor who was a sexual predator.  And, if it makes the reader feel any better, every one of them is out of the ministry now.

My observation however is that no serial adulterer occupying the pastor’s office entered the ministry with such sordid intentions.  He fell into sin and one thing led to another. (Sound familiar? It’s how life works.)

So, what follows is for young ministers in particular who have not been snared in the lust-trap and wish to make sure they don’t. (For your information, I invited my wife Margaret to add her observations.)

Here are 7 lines pastors do not want to cross.

1) Do not use cologne. Women are sensitive to fragrances, my wife says, which is why they wear them in the first place. When a man wears them, he sends out a subtle signal, the type no wise minister needs to be emitting.

2) Do not hug women.  One pastor said he hugs no one between the ages of 6 and 66.

To the minister who argues that “Well, I am a toucher and people need to be hugged,” I reply: a) Granted, but let women hug women and men hug men, if necessary and appropriate. b) In most cases, your “touching” indicates some physical or emotional need in yourself, and is not what healthy ministers do.

Even if your intentions are pure, you make yourself vulnerable to charges of inappropriate touching. And–do not miss this–in the minds of many, to be charged is to be convicted. Best to guard against these dangers.

3) Do not be in your office with a woman alone.

A pastor of a large church told some of us why he does not counsel in his office. “All she has to do is run out of the office screaming and your ministry is over.” When someone catches him following a worship service with “Pastor, could I come by and talk with you about a problem?” he answers, “Let’s sit in a pew right over here and talk now!” Their visit is in public, but far enough removed from people so that no one hears their conversation.

4) Do not be in the church alone with a woman.

This is more difficult for small churches that have no one on staff but the pastor.  In my first post-seminary church, the secretary worked half-days. Often she and I were in the building alone all morning. In those cases, you do the best you can at keeping your distance, making sure the doors are unlocked and drop-ins are welcome, and when possible, have others in the office too.

A pastor I used to serve with would sometimes ask me to remain after hours because he was counseling a woman, and wanted to make sure someone else was in the building.

5) Do not make pastoral visits alone. If you knock on a door and find that a woman is home alone, do not go inside but visit briefly at the door. Many pastors take a deacon or their wife with them on such calls.

6) Do not compliment a young woman on her appearance.  My wife says with women middle-aged and older, you can say, “You’re looking nice today.” But do not compliment a woman on her dress, her figure, tell her that her diet’s really working, and such. You are stepping over an invisible line.

7) Do not fantasize about women.  Most sins of a sexual nature had their beginnings long before as the individual imagined certain situations with some individual. Then, when the opportunity presented itself, he was ready since he had been over that ground a hundred times before.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable unto Thee, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

The “do nots” clearly have no end. But here are 7 “do’s” which a minister will want to observe to keep  the enemy at bay….

1) When complimented inappropriately, laugh it off and change the subject.

“Oooh, pastor, you look so good today.”  “Mmmm, preacher, I like the way that suit looks on you.” “Have you been working out, Brother Al? You’re looking good.”

The insecure pastor soaks this stuff up like a sponge. But you are not insecure. “You are complete in Christ” (Colossians 2:10).

Do not acknowledge the compliment. It will only encourage her. Laugh briefly, then ask about her family or something–anything!–to change the subject.

2) Anticipate situations that may arise during the day and plan appropriately.  That is, if you know a woman is coming for counseling, make sure your secretary or another minister is just outside the door.  Pray always the Lord will guard you and give you wisdom about these things.

3) When you are close to some woman other than your wife, and you begin to sense all the signs of attraction–your temperature rising, your blood pressure elevating–walk away quickly. Make up an excuse, even if it’s only that “I just remembered something; I’ll be right back.”  Then, get to your office or pretend to make a phone call and talk to the Lord. Ask for His divine protection. Just because your chemistry with that person is strong does not make it right. As a mature follower of Jesus Christ, you are beyond running your life by your feelings. (You are, aren’t you?)

4) Center your love, your energies, your everything on the Lord and your wife.  (The Lord does not mind being lumped together with her. He planned it that way. See Ephesians 5:25ff.)

The biggest safeguard against sexual transgressions in the lives of ministers is a good relationship with one’s spouse. After numerous cautions against sexual sin, the writer of Proverbs counseled his son, “Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well” (Proverbs 5:15).  In the margin of my Bible, I’ve written: “Focus on your wife, son!” Read on past verse 15 and he gets more explicit that that, with vs. 19 being one you probably won’t read in church, but it definitely communicates!

5) Have an accountability partner or a mentor. Or both.

If you are truly wise, you will have someone–usually an older, mature minister–to whom you can say anything. Such a veteran pastor has seen it all, has the scars to prove it, and has come up a winner.  (The one thing you do not want in such a mentor is someone who has never suffered! Spurgeon said, “God gets His best soldiers out of the highlands of affliction.”)

Once you find such a friend, you must meet with him frequently enough to be comfortable in speaking what’s on your mind. He must be a man of prayer who will pray with you and for you later.  There is no way to over-emphasize this.

6) A healthy fear of the Lord is a good thing.

One pastor’s wife said of her husband, “I don’t have to worry about Frank straying. He’s too afraid of God.” He laughed and said, “You’ve got that right!”

Someone asked Andrew Murray the greatest thought that had ever occupied his mind. He answered, “My accountability to God.” Indeed.  It’s enough to strike terror into our hearts and to drive us to repentance and submission. “Knowing the fear of the Lord,” Paul said, “we persuade men” (II Corinthians 5:11).

That said, we also rejoice that “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).  Nevertheless, even the saved will give account for what they have done in this life. God help us to be found faithful.

7) Encourage younger ministers to be faithful.

If you’ve been in the Lord’s work as long as a decade, you are a veteran compared to those just leaving seminary. You have a lot to offer them.  Reach out to the new ministers coming to churches in your area.  Take them to lunch.  Then, after the first session, both of you bring your wives.  The ministry can be a lonely profession. No church member understands the stresses you and your family have to endure. That’s why no one ministers to pastors better than other ministers.

The goal is to be faithful. Do this and you will find a strength and courage beyond your own. “Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God” (I John 3:21). Yes, and confidence before men, too.

Toward the end of His ministry, our Lord told the disciples, “The prince of this world is coming, and he has nothing in me” (John 14:30).  I like that. Readers may recall I told recently of meeting an old couple in a rural Alabama cafe. The man was in his 90s and the woman wasn’t all that far behind. They had been married four years, I think, and were clearly still in love. With a twinkle in his eye, the old gentleman said, “I have iron in my blood and she has a magnetic personality.”

When the devil waves his magnet over us, let there be nothing inside us that responds to his enticements. May we say, “He has nothing in me.”

And nothing “on” me.

This post was written by Pastor Joe McKeever.  For the original post, go to:  http://joemckeever.com/wp/7-sexual-lines-pastor-cross/



BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Job termination due to having sex

4/9/2013

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San Diego, California – A former staff member at a Christian college in California has filed a lawsuit against her employers for firing her for having sexual relations outside of marriage, stating that the college’s actions were “un-Christlike.”

Teri James, 29, worked as a financial aid specialist at San Diego Christian College in El Cajon until October of last year when she admitted to the school’s human resource director that she was pregnant. According to reports, rumors had been circulating on campus that the single woman might be with child, and therefore, she sought to put an end to the speculations.

However, upon being informed of the matter, the human resource director presented an ultimatum: resign or be fired. James was later given a termination notice that stated that she “engaged in activity outside the scope of the handbook and community covenant.”

San Diego Christian Christian College requires that all of its employees sign a lifestyle statement committing to live in a manner that is consistent with Biblical values, which includes abstaining from fornication. James admits to signing the statement, but still believes that her termination was unlawful. She hired renowned feminist attorney Gloria Allred to represent her in the courts.

“Teri engaged in activity outside the scope of the handbook and community covenant that does not build up the college’s mission,” Allred acknowledged. “The HR director indicated that she was not being fired because she was pregnant. Instead, she was being terminated because she had premarital sex.”

During a press conference this week, James broke down in tears over the matter, claiming that the school has caused her harm.

“I feel like what San Diego Christian College did to me was hurtful and un-Christlike,” she stated. “I was unmarried, pregnant and they took away my livelihood.”

“San Diego Christian College did not show any mercy or grace towards me, and acted completely un-Christlike,” James added. “They made more of a business decision than showing God’s love.”

Allred asserted that although the college is a Christian institution, it cannot terminate employees based on their private lives. She said that officials have no business in knowing what James is doing outside of the work environment.

“They can call themselves a Christian college, but they have to comply with the laws of the state of California, which prohibit discrimination on account of gender, marital status and pregnancy, and with the California constitution, which guarantees the right of privacy,” Allred told reporters.

Therefore, James is suing San Diego Christian College for wrongful termination and invasion of privacy.

College officials are not commenting on the matter at this time as per the advice of their attorney.

James has since married and is expecting a boy in June.

As previously reported, a number of women formerly employed at Christian colleges, universities and other schools across America sued their employers last year for discrimination after they were terminated following their admission of engaging in premarital sex.

The original article for this post can be found at:  http://christiannews.net/2013/02/16/california-woman-sues-christian-college-after-being-fired-for-fornication/


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Help!  I'm attracted to another woman!!

4/1/2013

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What should you do when you find yourself attracted to another woman?  Here are some helps:  


1.  Avoid being alone with her.  Ensure that your spouse is with you whenever you must be with this person.  If not, tell your spouse ahead of time and/or immediately afterward.

2.   Stop fantasizing about being with her romantically and/or sexually.

3.  Don't open Pandora's box by telling her that you are sexually attracted to her.  It will only complicate matters more.  She may turn around and accuse you of harassment.

4.  Share your feelings of attraction with a close friend who can hold you accountable.

5.  Take responsibility for all your actions.  You are not to blame for your feelings but you are responsible for the actions that follow your feelings.

6.  Try to look at the whole picture.  A few moments of passion can lead to a lifetime of regret and hurt.

Taken from The Sexual Man:  Masculinity without guilt 


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Temptation at Victoria's Secret

3/4/2013

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Early in our marriage, we would receive Victoria's Secret catalogs in the mail.  Even back then, these catalogs were pornography.  They've only gotten worse.  

Nevertheless, I told Karyn about the draw those catalogs had for me and I asked her to not have those in the house, especially since we were raising boys.

By starving my eyes from those catalogs, they came to the point of having less attraction for me.  Over time, by telling Karyn about the things that turned me on, she was able to help me.  We would talk about those things that were tempting.  It was liberating to tell her and she would continue to love me and shield me from those things that held my attraction.  

After the boys were raised, I accompanied her to a Victoria's Secret store where she was trying on some clothes.  Being the dutiful husband, I went with her.  I thought, "I've gotten past that Victoria's Secret temptation.  I can handle this now."  

While I was sitting there, minding my own business and trying not to look at the images of scantily clad women on the walls, a very attractive young lady walked up to me and started talking to me.  I was polite and talked with her.  Then another attractive young lady and then another.  Before I knew it, I was surrounded by three very attractive young ladies.


Well, my ego got the best of me.  I started thinking, "these girls think I'm hot.  They're talking to me because they really like me."  I found myself paying more attention to them while they were flirting with me (or I thought they were flirting with me).  Then it hit me.  "What in the world am I doing?  I'm almost old enough to be these young ladies' father!"  Then Karyn came out of the dressing room and paid for some clothes she was buying.  

When we got outside, I confessed to Karyn what had happened.  She simply said, "of course those sales clerks were talking to you, you're safe.  You're much older than them.  The longer you stay in the store, the more likely I will buy something."  Well, I'll tell you, my ego was instantly deflated.  We continued our conversation and Karyn said that the clerks were occupying me so that she would spend more time shopping.  

Why do I share this story with you?  

Well I learned a few things about temptation:

- I said to myself before going into the store, "I can handle this."  God says, "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall."  Knowing this was a past temptation, it would have been wise to ask God for strength before entering.  It might have been better to just not go into that store.

- I have a big ego and I need to keep it in check.  "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."   If I stay humble, God will give me more grace.

- Temptation changes.  I thought that I had the sin of lust conquered.  However, this temptation played into something different.  I was on my guard for lust but not on guard for my ego.  

- My ego got in the way of my ability to think clearly.  These young ladies were just doing what they had been taught.  "Keep the hubby happy and his wife will buy more stuff."  I was being played and never realized it.

So, my conclusion, my goal of this post is this:

Do you let your ego go unchecked? 
 
Do you humble yourself so that God can give you more grace?

If you think that you have temptation conquered, get ready.  You will find yourself tempted in ways that you haven't been considering.


BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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"But I'm Not Cheating!"

2/8/2013

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He sat across the table from me, trying to convince me that his behavior wasn't hurting anybody.  "I'm not having sex, I'm just having some fun!"  He proceeded to tell me  his story.   It's one that I have heard many times.  Unfortunately.

His behavior started fairly innocently.  He was happily married but there were occasions that his wife would work late.  During these times, on occasion, he would call a "chat line."  The conversations started out innocent enough but he didn't realize that he was being fleeced.  God speaks about this.  He says,"with persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk."   The young lady on the other end of the phone started flirting with him and tapped into his ego.  The next time he called her, she talked about how wonderful he was and how he helped her not to feel so lonely.  A few calls later, the trap was sprung.   He gave her his credit card number so that she would "tell him things that she knew he wanted to hear."  His calls continued with greater frequency.  He would get out of bed where his wife was sleeping to call this young lady.  She was always available to him and would say things that his wife would never say.  

He started to feel guilty and talked to the young lady about not calling her anymore.  That is when she set the hook.  She told him that she was a college student and that she needed the money to pay for school.  She admitted that she did this with just a few men and that they "weren't doing anything wrong."  

He looked at me and said, "but, I'm not cheating!!! I'm not having sex with her.  We're just having a little fun .  No one's getting hurt and I'm helping her pay for her education."  

I cautioned him about his behavior.  I explained to him what such behavior leads to.  That's when he said, "funny you should say that...."    He  then proceeded with this all too familiar story:

This young lady suggested that they meet.  It was a town that he visited on business often.   She explained that she offered private services to help men feel more masculine and perform better in bed.  She explained that he would enjoy it as "most men do."  

He went to the house that she and several other young women (who were working their way thru college too)  used to "help men."  There was never any intercourse.  He was "learning how to let a woman be in charge."   He found these lessons exhilarating.  He paused in his story, "but, I'm not cheating!!! We aren't having sex and I really like how she makes me feel."  It's as if he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince me.  

I would love to be able to tell you that this man conquered this illicit behavior but I cannot.  His life became a disaster.  

One night when he was talking to this young woman on the phone, his wife happened to be listening on the extension.  The next day, when he got home from work, he found his belongings on the yard, the locks changed and a court injunction prohibiting him from ever seeing his wife again.  The divorce proceedings were quick and he soon found himself on the street with no home.

I haven't had any contact with him since.  I don't know where he is and I don't know if he got help.  I do pray for him, hoping that he has turned to God and is living a life that represents Christ well.

Why do I tell you this story?  I guess you need to know that it is easy for men to rationalize their sinful behavior.   Men have a tendency to compartmentalize their behavior and think that their lives cannot be affected.  

God has something to say about this.  ‎"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be."   

So, what is in your heart?  
Are you pretending?  
Ask God to give you a new heart.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.


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Iron Mike Tyson inspired parenting

11/5/2012

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Iron Mike Tyson is one of the most iconic, controversial—and also most jacked-up—sports figures of all time. And I absolutely loved watching him fight. He had the unprecedented power to knock his opponent out with just one punch. He would send you crying to mama in the first forty-five seconds of round one. And if you weren’t careful…he just might spit in your face and go to town gnawing on your ear! (Just ask Evander Holyfield.) 

Even though Iron Mike was unquestionably messed up, I couldn’t help loving him as a fighter and an athlete. Because no matter what else you could say about him, he genuinely had that “Eye of the Tiger.” The dude just loved to hit, scrap, punch you in the face, bite, trash talk, kick your booty, fight—and win! He simply stubbornly refused to lose. 

Hey parents, listen up: We need more Iron Mike Tysons in this world. 

Oh, you read that right. What I mean is we need parents who are willing to hit, scrap, punch, bite, and fight for their kids! (Of course, I don’t mean you should hit your kids.) 

But here’s who you should hit: the enemy who’s bent on stealing, killing, and destroying our families. And it’s totally gloves off with that punk. It’s Rumble in the Jungle, Thrilla in Manila, Sting in the Ring, Fight of the Century, all-out war! 

But instead of Iron Mike Tyson parenting, what we’re surrounded with today is lazy, apathetic, exhausted, busy, workaholic, God-dodging, materialistic parenting. Mom and Dad, it’s time you turn off that phone. Stuff that To-Do list in a drawer. Turn off the TV. Get your butt up off that couch. Lace up your boxing gloves… And FIGHT for your kids. 

Five Things Every Parent Needs to Fight for for Their Kids: 

1. Time. James 4:13–14 says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” Make time for your kids today. Nobody’s promising you a tomorrow with them. 

2. Purity. Did you know that the largest audience for Internet porn is kids aged twelve to seventeen years old? Understand this: Satan has a dream, a vision, and a coordinated plan to take your kids out. He wants them checking out porn, keeping secrets, rounding second base and sliding into third, plunging headlong into promiscuity! Parents, please… dig deep and find the guts to FIGHT for your kids’ purity! 

3. Marriage. Is your marriage on life support? Are you at that point where the doc should just come in and pull the plug? Have you been secretly dreaming about some other person besides your spouse? Have you been having an emotional affair? What about a full-on sexual one? Then let me tell you what happens next: Fight for your  marriage! Or risk losing it all—including your kids. It really is just that simple. Sure, it’s tough. I get it. Things are jacked up. I get that maybe you’re not “feeling it” anymore. But one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is modeling for them how to have a healthy, vibrant, passionate love affair—with your spouse! 

4. History. So, what’s your deal? Are you a yeller? Does your anger cause your kids to walk on eggshells around you? Are you a workaholic? Spiritually passive? Porn addict? Critical heart? You know that’s not who you want to be. So why are you still keeping that old man around? Kick him to the curb! Find out what it really means to be in Christ, and to have Him in you. You CAN change the pattern of history that has so far defined your life. Write the legacy that your kids deserve. But here’s the thing: You’re going to have to get bloody knuckles to make it happen. FIGHT! 

5. The Obvious. Fight to keep Jesus in the center of your family. The only thing trying to stop you is the whole world. Don’t let it. Push back. When the cares of this world try to start a fistfight with your family, you pull a knife. When they pull a knife, you pull a gun. Fight! Every day of your life, as soon as you get up, strap on your armor. (See Ephesians 6:10–18 to learn how.) Read God’s Word together, pray together, go to church together, talk about Jesus on the way to school, when you get up and before you go to bed. It's time to RE-UP.  Recommit to making Jesus the centerpiece of your life.

This post was taken from the booklet Sex, Lust and XXX:  Fighting for your kids' purity in a sex saturated world. 

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Where do you find this stuff?

10/8/2012

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Last week was anti-porn week here at Ironstrikes.  I hope that you were able to read about the five topics:

1.  Porn and sexual satisfaction
2.  Porn and fake relationships
3.  Porn and women
4.  Porn and cruelty
5.  Porn is insidious

Readers have asked about the Zillman-Bryant study from which these five posts were taken.  In the early 1980s, Dr. Doll Zillmann of Indiana University and Dr. Jennings Bryant of the University of Alabama wondered whether continued exposure to video pornography had any impact on people's sexual beliefs and their attitudes towards women.  For their experiment, 80 male and 80 female college-age participants were divided into three subgroups, and each group was shown 4 hours and 48 minutes of media.  

1.  The first group, the “Massive Exposure Group,” was shown 36 non-violent pornographic films over a six-week period. 

2.  The second group, the “Intermediate Exposure Group,” was exposed to 18 pornographic films and 18 regular films over a six-week period. 

3.  The third (control) group, the “No Exposure Group,” was shown 36 non-pornographic movies over a six--week period

You may be saying, "that is an old study, what relevance does it have to today?"

At a 2011 conference, Dr. Mary Anne Layden commented about Zillmann and Bryant’s 25-year-old research. “When this study was done, what was called the ‘Massive Exposure Group" -- seeing five hours of porn over  a six-week period -- "I now call that the Friday Afternoon Group."

Her statement is far from an exaggeration.  A recent survey of 29,000 people at North American universities, shows 51% of men and 16% of women spend up to five hours per week online for sexual purposes, and another 11% of men spend anywhere from five to twenty  hours per week. What used to be “massive” exposure is now common practice.

Furthermore, the Internet has not only increased the public’s exposure to porn, but has also changed the way it is consumed. Dr. Jill Manning believes Zillmann and Bryant’s findings have greater applicability in the modern age because Internet porn tends to be more interactive and consumer-driven. Viewers can select exactly who and what they want to see, custom-tailored to their greatest specifications.

This week, I will be giving four solid tips in helping to curb your vulnerability to porn.

This post is taken from the booklet, YOUR BRAIN ON PORN by Luke Gilkerson.  The booklet can be found at:  http://www.covenanteyes.com/brain-ebook/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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What's the problem with porn?

8/22/2012

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A new study by Patrick F. Fagan examines the effects of pornography on individuals, marriage, family and community. Fagan is Senior Fellow and Director of the Center for Research on Marriage and Religion at the Family Research Council. He specializes in examining the relationships among family, marriage, religion, community, and America's social problems. This study is important for everyone to read as it demonstrates that it has damaging effects on individuals and families. In the summary Fagan explains,

Pornography is a visual representation of sexuality which distorts an individual's concept of the nature of conjugal relations. This, in turn, alters both sexual attitudes and behavior. It is a major threat to marriage, to family, to children and to individual happiness. In undermining marriage it is one of the factors in undermining social stability. 

Social scientists, clinical psychologists, and biologists have begun to clarify some of the social and psychological effects, and neurologists are beginning to delineate the biological mechanisms through which pornography produces its powerful negative effects.Some of the findings inside the study include:

  • Pornography is addictive, and neuroscientists are beginning to map the biological substrate of this addiction.
  • Users tend to become desensitized to the type of pornography they use, become bored with it, and then seek more perverse forms of pornography.
  • Married men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their conjugal relations and less emotionally attached to their wives. Wives notice and are upset by the difference.
  • Pornography use is a pathway to infidelity and divorce, and is frequently a major factor in these family disasters.
  • Among couples affected by one spouse's addiction, two-thirds experience a loss of interest in sexual intercourse.
  • Many adolescents who view pornography initially feel shame, diminished self-confidence, and sexual uncertainty, but these feelings quickly shift to unadulterated enjoyment with regular viewing.
  • The main defenses against pornography are close family life, a good marriage and good relations between parents and children, coupled with deliberate parental monitoring of Internet use. Traditionally, government has kept a tight lid on sexual traffic and businesses, but in matters of pornography that has waned almost completely, except where child pornography is concerned. Given the massive, deleterious individual, marital, family, and social effects of pornography, it is time for citizens, communities, and government to reconsider their laissez-faire approach.

This post was written by Ed Stetzer.  The original post can be found here:
http://www.churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-blogs/139251-the_effects_of_pornography.html/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Even soul winning is no substitute for salvation

7/19/2012

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The Church in my parts was shocked to learn recently that a brother who has been trained by a prominent evangelism group to the point that he was flying to California to participate in helping train others how to share the gospel with the lost and he was often found in various local churches teaching people how to share their faith, he was arrested for sexual molestation of various women in his practice and was found guilty by the court and sent to prison leaving behind a devastated wife and young children to take care of themselves.  At first, we thought the allegations were nothing but the enemy of our souls rising up against a strong brother who was seeking to preach the gospel to the lost.  This man would pass out tracts, preach on the streets, and would be found sharing Jesus in almost any place he went.  To this man, soul winning was a natural part of his life and he believed that disciples of Jesus should preach the gospel at all times.

And yet he fell.

I don’t know his heart today.  I personally did not know the man but only through mutual friends did I know about him.  I don’t know his heart nor whether today he is seeking the Lord.  I pray that he is.  This post is not about this man but simply about keeping Jesus as our focus and not anything or anyone else.  Jesus, not prayer, not the Church, not soul winning, not Bible reading, not memorizing Scripture, not giving money – Jesus alone is our salvation.  We must always keep that in mind.  Arminianism does not save.  Calvinism does not save.  Lutheranism does not save.  The Restoration movement does not save.  The Baptist church does not save.  Nothing saves but Jesus alone (Acts 4:12).

Our heart should be Philippians 3:8-11 where Paul the Apostle wrote,

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

Our salvation, our righteousness, our hope – all this comes from Jesus Christ alone.  It doesn’t come from being an evangelist or a preacher or an intercessor.  Salvation is in the person of Jesus and not anything or anyone else.  We must stay close to Him.  We must make Him our ambition, our delight, and our passion.

Perhaps this man above stopped doing this.  Perhaps he stopped loving our  Lord Jesus.  He got busy with “the ministry” and he forgot to love Jesus.  He forgot how to sit at the Lord’s feet and learn from Him.  So busy with life.  So busy with teaching people how to share Jesus yet he didn’t really love Jesus anymore or maybe he was simply too busy to sit and glean from the Lord.  I don’t know.  Only God knows.

I only want to love Jesus.  I know that apart from Him, I have no salvation (John 15:1-11).  Jesus is my only cure for this sin that abides in me (Romans 6:23).  The Lord Jesus alone bore my sins and died for me (John 5:24).  Jesus alone is the one who is able to cleanse me from sin (1 John 1:7).  Jesus is my faithful high priest who prays for me (Hebrews 7:25) as I abide in Him through faith.

Are you too busy to meet with Jesus and love Him a while?  He is our salvation.  He is our righteousness (1 Corinthians 1:30).  He is the one that we should adore and love.  The Father delights in us when we love His Son (1 John 5:1).  Don’t be robbed of spending much time with Jesus and learning from Him.  Stop and sit at His feet and praise Him for what He has done in saving us.  Don’t get too busy that you miss the pleasure of being close to your Savior.  This alone will keep you saved from the power of sin (1 John 3:7).

This is a guest post written by my friend, Seeking Disciple.  To go to the original post complete with comments, go to: 

http://arminiantoday.com/2012/06/30/even-soul-winning-is-no-safeguard-for-salvation/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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A Pastor's perspective on Pornography

7/14/2012

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When it comes to porn, the question facing many men and women is simple:  is it really wrong?  Is it really that big of a deal?  I mean, it’s just an image on a screen.  It’s not someone I know, or someone I’m having an actual affair with, so I’m still faithful to my future (or current) wife.  It’s just sexual release, like masturbation, and we all know that masturbation is not condemned in the Bible.  It’s not even mentioned. 

And isn’t sex a good thing, so what’s wrong in watching it happen?  I’m just admiring beauty.  And besides, I’m single, so what do you expect me to do with all this pent-up sexual energy?  It seems like a safe release until I ammarried.

I’ve heard all of this, and more.

So is it really that big of a deal?

Yes, and here’s why:

It is sexual sin.  Jesus made it clear that when we give in to lust, it is akin to the act itself.  It makes no difference whether you know the person or not; lust is not tied to relationship.

It is addictive.  The ubiquitous nature of porn is new to our culture, and to human sexuality, but it is becoming increasingly clear that it is highly addictive in nature.  As a result, it can not only begin to dominate a life, but can demand ever-increasing levels of exposure and ever-increasing degrees of experience to continue to stimulate.

It is degrading to women.  In pornography, women are treated as objects.  They are not fulfilling God’s dream for their life as His precious daughter, nor are they fulfilling His design for sexual expression and fulfillment.  You are watching a woman who is being sinned against, treated in a way that is contemptible to her heavenly Father (whether she sees it or not – and the fact that many may not only adds to its tragic nature).  And if you are a woman watching it for the men, it is equally degrading to them.

It leads to other sins.  Studies are beginning to show that the effects of porn on men are more than temporary sexual stimulation:  as they see women treated as objects, they begin to treat women that way.  They become more sexually aggressive, leading to date rapes and expected “hook-ups.” 

It harms your relationship with your current, or future, spouse.  It is absolutely ridiculous to say that watching porn enhances a sexual life.  Instead, it cheapens it.  Those caught in its web testify to how porn quickly becomes a substitute for sexual intimacy with your spouse. 

It desensitizes your soul.  Sin of any kind desensitizes your spiritual life.  Continued exposure to a sin such as pornography is like shooting novocaine into your soul.  It deadens you and grieves the Holy Spirit in your life, forcing Him to withdraw His utmost filling in a way that diminishes His power and presence in your life.

It distorts sex.  Nothing reduces sex to lust more than pornography.  Yielding to such images is overwhelmingly addictive, like a narcotic that delivers a quick hit to the emotions or senses, but ravages you from within.  It destroys real relationships, real intimacy, real sexuality.

I’m a pastor. 

I talk with men who are dealing with the spiritual torment and guilt of engaging in pornography while trying to rationalize it away;

I talk with men who are having to fight it as an addiction;

I talk with men who are finding it is leading them to a warped view of women;

I talk with men who are experiencing its direct path to other sins;

I talk with men who are seeing its assault on their marriage;

I talk with men who are trying to awaken their souls from its deadening grip;

I talk with men who have distorted views of what sex is about. 

I also talk to the wives of these men – I’ve seen the hurt, the betrayal, the wounding to intimacy, trust and self-esteem.  And increasingly, I am having the same conversations with women who have become caught in its snare. 

There is little doubt to those of us who work with people, and those who are themselves caught in its web, how pornography is destroying the sanctity of sex and the glory of marriage.

And we haven’t even broached what it is doing to the coming generation of men and women who have been exposed to it at the earliest of ages over multiple years.

So is pornography really wrong?

In every possible way.

This post is written by Rev. James Emery White.  You can find the original post at this location:  http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/dr-james-emery-white/is-pornography-really-wrong.html

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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