Children's Motivations

To properly parent, it is important to know what motivates children.  If you can figure out a child's goal, then you can figure out how to best help them.  If you can identify the goals of a child you can plan your corrective action much more intelligently 

Research indicates that there are four basic goals for kids:



1.  Attention - Children want attention be it negative or positive.  Negative attention is better than no attention.
2.  Power - Children can openly rebel or be quietly stubborn
3.  Revenge - lying, stealing, or hurting others
4.  Inadequacy - This passive child relays the message, "Don't expect anything from me because I don't have anything to give."

CORRECTIVE ACTION - Four steps can help you to be proactive in your parenting.  These four steps can be remembered easily with the acronym CARE.

C - Catch yourself - don't yell, talk too much or preach.  Make action, not
             words, the principal means of conveying intentions.
A - Assess the child's goals - What goals are being served by the behavior?
R - Respond with consequences and encouragement -   Consequences 
             need to be logical and natural.  
E - Execute with consistency, friendliness, and respect -  Remember
             that rules without relationship leads to rebellion.

As Christian fathers, we are to discipline and instruct our children in a godly manner, to not exasperate them or provoke them to anger.  

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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