Search this site
IRONSTRIKES
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Beliefs
  • Formation
  • For Women
  • Meetings & Events

Choosing intimacy

7/30/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Yesterday was my wife's birthday, a real milestone as far as birthdays go.  I won't tell you her real age, but she looks about 35.  If you look at the picture, I'm sure you will agree.  I'm 51, and I have been asked before about my "daughter" as we have been out traveling.  We've been married 29 years and over the years I've struggled with this question, "Did God make Karyn just for me and me for her?"  I haven't asked this question out of doubt of our love for each other, I have asked it out of a genuineness of wondering about God's compassionate care for people.  Is there always someone God has planned for someone?  

Over the years, we have had our disagreements, our joys, our hard times, and our good times.  When the disagreements come, I wonder, "If we're made for each other, then why can't we see eye to eye on this simple issue?"  (BTW - I've noticed most disagreements are over little issues.  That makes sense, because we agree on the big issues, if we didn't we wouldn't have gotten married.)  Even though we had very similar upbringings, it seems like, sometimes, we are from different planets, even after 29 years of marriage.  Our perspectives can be so different.  

When we were first married, I really, truly believed that we were made for each other, that God made our lives to be intermeshed, that our love for each other was God's perfect will for our lives.  After years of doing marriage counseling, I have come to appreciate her more.  But also marriage counseling makes me wonder if God does make couples for each other.  I have heard people say, "getting married was a mistake."  When I hear a couple say that, I ask, "so the children you have together are a mistake?  I hardly think so, nor do I believe God thinks that."  


Nevertheless, the years of marriage counseling has taken its toll on my belief that we were made for each other.

I have come to a general conclusion.  Are Karyn and I made for each other?

I don't know.  Sometimes, it feels like it, sometime is doesn't.

Maybe you were expecting something profound.  But I can't tell you exactly, fer shure, how God works.  If someone thinks they got God all figured out, then they have made a god who is a figment of their imagination.

As I've gotten older, I've become comfortable with a moderate amount of ambiguity.  I've learned that solid conclusions are not always to be found in life.  

I do have solid conclusions about these two things though:  
1) I'm glad that I married this wonderful woman.   
2) I have never doubted my love for her and her love for me.    

To get to my final conclusion, when we met, there was obvious chemistry.  We really wanted to be with each other.  We didn't look back with doubt.  We knew we wanted to be together.  

We were young and faced with a choice.  Do we continue to pursue intimacy and get married or do we go our separate ways?  

I think it is this choice that reflects one's love for God. 

Whether God made us for each other is debatable.  However, the choice was not whether we were to choose each other...  

The REAL choice was intimacy.  

When faced with the option to love or not love, we chose love.  We continue to choose love.  

In choosing love, we reflect what God desires.  

God's desire is for intimacy.  An intimacy with Him that is reflected in our relationships.  

By choosing to love God, we could choose to love each other.  By trusting God, we could trust each other.  By choosing to share our lives with each other, we choose to put God first.  All of these things lead to intimacy.  A deep love, affection, desire.  

A choice to pursue intimacy.

Happy birthday sweetheart.  

Thank you for loving me and letting me love you.  Our love has taught me much about relationships and about God and His love.

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Rules for commenting:

    1.  Be respectful  
    2.  Refer to rule #1

    All comments may not be approved.

    Note that many identifying details about individuals in these posts are not accurate.  Their identity is protected, except for those individuals who are being honored or are public figures.

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Categories

    All
    Abortion
    Abraham
    Abstinence
    Abuse
    Accountability
    Adam
    Adam Yauch
    Addictions
    Admiration
    Adultery
    Affair
    Amos
    Angels
    Anger
    Anniversary
    Anoint
    Anonymous
    Anxiety
    Atheism
    Avoidant
    Bad Boy
    Battle
    Beastie Boys
    Beautiful
    Bestiality
    Betrayal
    Bird
    Blame
    Bobby Petrino
    Bondage
    Book Review
    Brian Head Welch
    Brothel
    B.T. Roberts
    Camping
    Cancer
    Challenge
    Change
    Chaotic
    Character
    Children
    Choice
    Christmas
    Church
    Church Camp
    Closed Door
    Compulsions
    Confession
    Confident
    Control
    Courage
    Covenant
    Creator
    Crown
    Crucifixion
    Darkness
    Death
    Deception
    Decision
    Demons
    Depression
    Detachment
    Devotions
    Dez Bryant
    Differences
    Dilemma
    Dirty
    Discipleship
    Disgusting
    Divorce
    Domestic Violence
    Domination
    Doubt
    Dreams
    Dr Hart8bb80a7b00
    Dwayne Allen
    Dysfunction
    Easter
    Eden
    Ego
    Eleazar
    Elitism
    Empty
    Envy
    Ephesians
    Equality
    Erectile Dysfunction
    Esau
    Eternity
    Euthanasia
    Evil
    Exhibitionism
    Eyes
    Facebook
    Faithfulness
    Fantasy
    Fasting
    Father
    Favorites
    Fear
    Fellatio
    Fighting
    Fishing
    Flashing
    Flattery
    Flesh
    Force
    Forgiveness
    Gentleman
    Girls Gone Wild
    G.K. Chesteron
    Goals
    God
    Good Friday
    Grace
    Gratitude
    Greek
    Guard
    Guilt
    Heart
    Heaven
    Hebrew
    Hell
    Henri Nouwen
    Histrionic
    Hogging
    Holiness
    Hollow
    Honesty
    Honor
    Hope
    Humility
    Humor
    Ichabod
    Idols
    Impurity
    Individuality
    Input
    Insane Clown Posse
    Integrity
    Intent
    Intimacy
    Isaac
    Islam
    Jack Schaap
    Jamaica
    Jealousy
    Jimmy Needham
    Job
    Joy
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    Judgmentalism
    Justice
    Kindness
    King David
    Kittens
    Komboloib7e292a311
    Korn
    Larry Norman
    Leave It To Beaver
    Lies
    Light
    Listening
    Loneliness
    Love
    Lust
    Lying
    Macho
    Manners
    Marriage
    Masculinity
    Masturbation
    Maturity
    Mca
    Meditation
    Messianic
    Meticulous
    Mighty
    Missions
    Money
    Monogamy
    Moses
    Motivations
    Movies
    Music
    Normal
    Obedience
    Obscenity
    Open Door
    Parenting
    Passiveaggressive2ed940c88b
    Pastor
    Path
    Perfection
    Personality Disorders
    P.O.D.
    Politics
    Pornography
    Pornograpy
    Power
    Practical
    Prayer
    Predator
    Prejudice
    Premature Ejaculaton
    Preparation
    Pride
    Problems
    Promises
    Protection
    Providence
    Purity
    Quechua
    Quiz
    Racism
    Regret
    Religious
    Repentance
    Reputation
    Research
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Rest
    Resurrection
    Revival
    Righteousness
    Robots
    Roughhousing
    Routine
    Rules
    Rut
    Sabbath
    Sacrifice
    Sadism
    Salvation
    Sanctification
    Satisfaction
    Selfishness
    Self Love
    Self-love
    Service
    Sex
    Sexism
    Sexuality
    Sexual Response
    Sexual Response
    Shame
    Sin
    Singing
    Snobbery
    Soldier
    Sovereignty
    Stalking
    Stephen Hawking
    Step-parenting
    Strong
    Success
    Succubus
    Suicide
    Swearing
    Sword
    Teenagers
    Temper
    Temptation
    Tenth Ave North
    Testing
    Theology
    Thinking
    Thomas Cogswell Upham
    Tim Tebow
    Tournament Male
    Tradition
    Trafficking
    Trapped
    Trauma
    Triggers
    Trust
    Truth
    U2
    Uncle Buddy
    Unity
    Violence
    Virtue
    Vulnerability
    Warrior
    Watchman Nee
    Waywardness
    What Is A Man
    Women
    Worry
    Worship
    Wussification
    Year In Review
    Zombies

    Archives

    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

IRONSTRIKES

Men Forging Men