Search this site
IRONSTRIKES
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Beliefs
  • Formation
  • For Women
  • Meetings & Events

Does your past horrify you?

4/12/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
I infrequently recall the horrors of a past sinful event and cringe. Honestly, when I think about the matter, I don't want to go outside; I don't want to show my face in public, be involved in a community, or receive compliments for a job well done. In such moments I feel like the scum of the earth, like a disgusting worm, an unwanted and unlovable monster unworthy of life. I also wonder if the one I wronged feels the same toward me, and I wonder if others do, too. These thoughts are leftover feelings of shame; and if anyone has ever wrestled with the effects of shame, he or she understands how debilitating shame can be when lodged in the mind, and how difficult shame is to overcome.

Being horrified by past sinful actions is fine, in its proper mode, but should not be dwelt upon for one primary reason: the past is not the present. We must learn how not to take a snapshot of that past event and then define ourselves by that tragic portrait. Shame is a very poor motivator. When what we need is to forsake the distorted ways of thinking, that led us to misbehave, the last force we need is shame. Think about motivational speakers for a moment. What is their main intent? They want to elevate a crowd from a wrong way of thinking into a right and good and positive way of thinking.

Now, imagine that this motivational speaker began shaming his audience, leading them to feel horrible about themselves because of their past distorted ways of thinking, causing them to feel worthless, unloved, and hopeless. Would that motivate them into a better frame of mind? No! Shame, when lodged in the heart or mind, only cripples its victim. Shame belittles the humanity of its victim. Shame dehumanizes its victim. Shame constantly whispers in the ear of its victim, "You not only did something bad, but you are something bad." Shame wants to define you by what you did. Shame does not want you to live a new life, think new thoughts, maintain a positive perspective. Shame wants to destroy you. Shame will not be satisfied until you are lifeless, useless, and utterly hopeless.

I had to learn a valuable and life-changing truth-lesson about shame: I could either allow shame to permanently cripple me or I could shake loose of shame's grip once and for all. I chose to shake loose of its grip. But this took several years -- years -- and I had help. There was no way possible I could get rid of the stranglehold of shame without a proper perspective, a perspective that I did not yet possess, but one I had to learn and put into practice even a full year after I learned how to do so. How did I do that? I accomplished this, in time, through receiving forgiveness.

You may think that this seems a bit trite and too easy of an answer. Well, when you have done something wrong, especially when that wrong becomes public knowledge, the last state of mind that you want is to be forgiven, because your inner pride will want to atone for your wrongdoing. You wrestle within yourself: If I can just make up for it, somehow, then I will be redeemed. But there are situations in which you cannot make up for a wrongdoing. In my particular situation, I merely had to be forgiven, but I also had to receive that forgiveness. My real trouble began when I could not receive forgiveness. I heard that I was forgiven. I knew intellectually and believed that I was forgiven. But I could not forgive myself for my wrongdoing. My self-perception was at an all-time low.

Being horrified by my past is okay. Being horrified by your past is okay. None of us should be proud of causing others pain and turmoil and heartache. Be horrified! But the only way you will ever avoid the same scenario over and over again in the future is if you learn why you did what you did, for no action happens in a vacuum, and then understand how to think properly. This will require that you seek help, whether counseling or therapy, and believe me when I confess to you that you will treasure that help more than you can convey. Therapy is not for weirdos. Therapy is for everyone.

Shame has a proper place. Shame can initially inform us that our bad words or attitudes or actions are wrong. But shame should not be allowed to linger, causing you to think that you are a monster, especially not when one considers that Jesus Himself endured a cruel cross for our sake, while despising shame, and conquered sin, death, and hell itself. (Heb. 12:1, 2) Once shame has run its course, once shame has served its initial purpose, do not allow shame, for your own sake, to demean you, and control your life. If you allow shame this control, it will seek to hinder healthy thinking, a healthy self-perception and, ultimately, to defeat you. Shame will tell you that you don't have a choice: you are a horrible person and unworthy of love and respect. But shame is a filthy liar. Believe the truth. God loves us sinners and wants our salvation: body, soul, heart and mind.

​This post was written by William Birch.  You can find his original post here:  ​
http://www.williambirch.net/2016/04/horrified-by-your-past.html

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Rules for commenting:

    1.  Be respectful  
    2.  Refer to rule #1

    All comments may not be approved.

    Note that many identifying details about individuals in these posts are not accurate.  Their identity is protected, except for those individuals who are being honored or are public figures.

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Categories

    All
    Abortion
    Abraham
    Abstinence
    Abuse
    Accountability
    Adam
    Adam Yauch
    Addictions
    Admiration
    Adultery
    Affair
    Amos
    Angels
    Anger
    Anniversary
    Anoint
    Anonymous
    Anxiety
    Atheism
    Avoidant
    Bad Boy
    Battle
    Beastie Boys
    Beautiful
    Bestiality
    Betrayal
    Bird
    Blame
    Bobby Petrino
    Bondage
    Book Review
    Brian Head Welch
    Brothel
    B.T. Roberts
    Camping
    Cancer
    Challenge
    Change
    Chaotic
    Character
    Children
    Choice
    Christmas
    Church
    Church Camp
    Closed Door
    Compulsions
    Confession
    Confident
    Control
    Courage
    Covenant
    Creator
    Crown
    Crucifixion
    Darkness
    Death
    Deception
    Decision
    Demons
    Depression
    Detachment
    Devotions
    Dez Bryant
    Differences
    Dilemma
    Dirty
    Discipleship
    Disgusting
    Divorce
    Domestic Violence
    Domination
    Doubt
    Dreams
    Dr Hart8bb80a7b00
    Dwayne Allen
    Dysfunction
    Easter
    Eden
    Ego
    Eleazar
    Elitism
    Empty
    Envy
    Ephesians
    Equality
    Erectile Dysfunction
    Esau
    Eternity
    Euthanasia
    Evil
    Exhibitionism
    Eyes
    Facebook
    Faithfulness
    Fantasy
    Fasting
    Father
    Favorites
    Fear
    Fellatio
    Fighting
    Fishing
    Flashing
    Flattery
    Flesh
    Force
    Forgiveness
    Gentleman
    Girls Gone Wild
    G.K. Chesteron
    Goals
    God
    Good Friday
    Grace
    Gratitude
    Greek
    Guard
    Guilt
    Heart
    Heaven
    Hebrew
    Hell
    Henri Nouwen
    Histrionic
    Hogging
    Holiness
    Hollow
    Honesty
    Honor
    Hope
    Humility
    Humor
    Ichabod
    Idols
    Impurity
    Individuality
    Input
    Insane Clown Posse
    Integrity
    Intent
    Intimacy
    Isaac
    Islam
    Jack Schaap
    Jamaica
    Jealousy
    Jimmy Needham
    Job
    Joy
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    Judgmentalism
    Justice
    Kindness
    King David
    Kittens
    Komboloib7e292a311
    Korn
    Larry Norman
    Leave It To Beaver
    Lies
    Light
    Listening
    Loneliness
    Love
    Lust
    Lying
    Macho
    Manners
    Marriage
    Masculinity
    Masturbation
    Maturity
    Mca
    Meditation
    Messianic
    Meticulous
    Mighty
    Missions
    Money
    Monogamy
    Moses
    Motivations
    Movies
    Music
    Normal
    Obedience
    Obscenity
    Open Door
    Parenting
    Passiveaggressive2ed940c88b
    Pastor
    Path
    Perfection
    Personality Disorders
    P.O.D.
    Politics
    Pornography
    Pornograpy
    Power
    Practical
    Prayer
    Predator
    Prejudice
    Premature Ejaculaton
    Preparation
    Pride
    Problems
    Promises
    Protection
    Providence
    Purity
    Quechua
    Quiz
    Racism
    Regret
    Religious
    Repentance
    Reputation
    Research
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Rest
    Resurrection
    Revival
    Righteousness
    Robots
    Roughhousing
    Routine
    Rules
    Rut
    Sabbath
    Sacrifice
    Sadism
    Salvation
    Sanctification
    Satisfaction
    Selfishness
    Self Love
    Self-love
    Service
    Sex
    Sexism
    Sexuality
    Sexual Response
    Sexual Response
    Shame
    Sin
    Singing
    Snobbery
    Soldier
    Sovereignty
    Stalking
    Stephen Hawking
    Step-parenting
    Strong
    Success
    Succubus
    Suicide
    Swearing
    Sword
    Teenagers
    Temper
    Temptation
    Tenth Ave North
    Testing
    Theology
    Thinking
    Thomas Cogswell Upham
    Tim Tebow
    Tournament Male
    Tradition
    Trafficking
    Trapped
    Trauma
    Triggers
    Trust
    Truth
    U2
    Uncle Buddy
    Unity
    Violence
    Virtue
    Vulnerability
    Warrior
    Watchman Nee
    Waywardness
    What Is A Man
    Women
    Worry
    Worship
    Wussification
    Year In Review
    Zombies

    Archives

    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

IRONSTRIKES

Men Forging Men