- You’re not the flirt guy
- You’re not the female buddies guy
- You’re not the download porn guy
- You’re not the “I got another gal on the side I always keep in case of emergency” guy
- You’re not the wandering eye guy
I know some complete fools, they like to take their wedding ring off when they go out to the sports bar with the boys. Do you honor your marriage covenant? Do you take responsibility as the head of the marriage covenant, take responsibility for the well-being of the woman?
A woman has great fear. If you don’t honor marriage, she is statistically going to go into poverty upon divorce. She will become yet another single mother. She’ll have to find a way to explain to the children of why they shouldn’t be embittered against you even though you’re a loser. See, these fears are very legitimate. Women have seen this so many times that they’re fearful of men.
- Do you ever hit her?
- Do you ever shove her?
- Do you ever push her?
- Do you ever grab her, restrain her?
- Do you ever raise a hand and threaten her?
- Do you ever intimidate her with physical violence?
- Do you give her that look, that pierced, glazed, violent, angry, don’t-push-it-now’s-a-good-time-to-shut-up look?
- Do you tell her, “I’m getting very angry, you should just shut up right now. It’s gonna go bad for you”?
- Do you get right in her face?
- Do you intimidate her with your presence?
A man who picks on a woman, what a joke.
Have you ever forced yourself on a woman? You’re a rapist.
But, you’ll say, “She’s my wife.”
You’re a rapist.
DON'T HOLD YOUR WIFE PRISONER
When someone is attacked, we call it abuse. As horrible as that is, what is even worse is torment. Torment is when you’re abused and you can’t get out. This is like prisoners of war and those who are held captive in slavery.
For some women, their version of slavery and captivity and torment is called marriage.
Their husband is physically intimidating. She’s afraid of him. She can’t leave, at least that’s what she thinks. She feels stuck, particularly if she’s got children. Some of you guys are tormentors and abusers and rapists and husbands and Christians, and that is absolutely inexcusable.
WOMEN, A MAN WHO HITS YOU IS IN SIN
Most men don’t walk around thinking about their personal safety. I know a lot of women who do. Does she feel safe with you?
Ladies, if you’re dating a guy who has ever been physically violent, run for your life, run for your children’s life, run for your grandchildren’s life.
If he’s ever even threatened you with violence, there is something profoundly demonic in that man. There is something sincerely wrong in that man. He will then apologize, tell you he is sorry. He will shed a few tears, say it will never happen again and he will subtly shift the blame to you. “You know when you do that, it just makes me really angry. Don’t do that again.”
“Oh, okay, it must be my fault.” It’s never your fault.
It doesn’t matter what you say or do, if a man hits you, harms you, he’s in sin, no excuse.
HEAD-OF-THE-HOUSE DOES NOT MEAN BULLY
And there are some guys, some absolute block-headed idiots who think when the Bible says that you’re the head of the home, that it means you get to be the bully. There’s nothing uglier than a guy who then takes this same disposition toward his children, especially his daughters.
The grossest, vilest thing is a man who hits a woman, and the man who hits a woman is willing to hit his own daughter. It’s disgusting.
Tomorrow, we will talk about honoring your wife emotionally.
This post is adapted from The Mars Hill blog. It can be found at: http://marshill.com/2010/12/14/how-to-honor-your-wife/
BE A MAN.