To the left is our family crest that my wife and I designed. I've only raised two boys, so maybe I'm really lucky that they are so great or maybe it is more than luck.
We instilled from them at an early age our family verse. Psalm 23:4 "I will fear no evil because You are with me." Also, we gave them three principles to live by: 1) reject passivity, 2) accept responsibility, and 3) lead courageously (see the book Raising a Modern Day Knight).
Further, we taught them how to respect their mother, knowing that would be how they would respect women and ultimately their wife. One simple way to respect their mother was to raise and lower the toilet seat when using the restroom.
There are three things that we did for them that made them see how a real man is supposed to be:
1) I loved their mother and put her ahead of them. They recall many nights I put them to bed with the idea that I needed to spend time alone with their mother. If they cooperated and stayed in bed, they would notice that they would get along better with their mother the next day. They believed me.
2) They both had a "manhood ceremony." This was a time that each of them met with me and several men, to "learn how to be a man." These men each gave advice of how to be a man. They all also said that they would be watching them and hold them accountable for proper conduct not only as a man but as a Christian as well.
3) They learned that behavior had consequences. Karyn and I were quick to show them our mistakes and the consequences of our behavior, even as adults. We modeled forgiveness and respect. They came to see their parents as real people whom they could love in spite of their imperfections. Honesty in relationships is required. To be in a relationship with someone meant to be real. No phoniness allowed.
Now, we are not perfect parents and maybe we just lucked out by having really good sons. However, we would like to think that godly parenting and prayer had a lot to do with it...