Misusing sex

Sex has many uses and men use sex for many reasons beyond the essential satisfaction of the sex drive.  The motivations and needs met through the pleasure of sex are many and not just physical; they are psychological as well.  Among the most common misuses of sex are the following:

• As a tranquilizer to relieve stress and tension
• As an antidepressant to relieve feelings of melancholia or self-pity
• As a means of venting anger through the uncontrolled release of sexual energy
• To prove one's masculinity and power, or to prove one's worthiness, popularity or irresistibility
• To dominate one's partner by taking advantage of her sexual desires
• To prove to one's partner that you love her, especially when you are not able to express love and tenderness in other ways
• As sensation seeking, believing that somehow in sex is to be found all the joys of human existence
• Using sex as a weapon to hurt or damage someone
• Using sex to prevent emotional intimacy

While sex can be used to meet many human needs, it has its limits.  Sex is not appropriate for meeting human needs that should be fulfilled in other ways.

Taken from The Sexual Man:  Masculinity without guilt

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