Search this site
IRONSTRIKES
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Beliefs
  • Formation
  • For Women
  • Meetings & Events

Porn hurts your partner

9/22/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Several studies have found that partners of porn users often report feeling loss, betrayal, mistrust, devastation, and anger when they learn that the other half of their committed relationship has been using porn. Many show physical symptoms of anxiety and depression.  Here’s an inconvenient truth: While porn is something users can choose to do on their own, that use doesn’t just affect them—it affects their partner too, and not for the better. Two of the most respected pornography researchers, professors Jennings Bryant and Dolf Zillman at the University of Alabama, who have studied the effects of porn and media for more than 30 years, said that when it comes to porn use “no rigorous research demonstrations of desirable effects can be reported.”  In other words, in all the serious research that’s been done on porn, no one has found that it has any benefits. What several studies have found, however, is that porn use can cause serious damage not only to the user, but also to those closest to them—especially their partner. 

Studies have shown that even casual use of porn can cause the user to feel less attracted to their partner.  And when a person frequently uses pornography, they’re far more likely to feel less satisfied with their partner’s looks, sexual performance, and willingness to try new sexual acts. 

Why all the sudden disappointment with one’s partner? It’s likely due to the fact that porn promotes a completely fictional version of how people look and behave (See Porn Is a Lie), and makes it look like an exciting reality—one that their partners often feel they can never live up to. 

Given that the women depicted in porn are surgically enhanced, air-brushed, and photoshopped, it’s not hard to see why, according to a national poll, that only one in seven women doesn’t think that porn has raised men’s expectations of how women should look. 

And it’s not only looks that are being depicted with unrealistic standards. In almost all porn, sex is all about men; women are depicted as being happy with whatever a man wants to do, even if it’s dangerous, painful, or humiliating. A study of the most popular porn videos found that nine scenes out of 10 showed women being verbally or physically abused, yet the female victims almost always responded with either pleasure or appeared to be neutral. In even the most mainstream porn, the sex acts shown are overwhelmingly degrading toward women, and are usually geared toward enhancing male pleasure. As a result, male porn users’ ideas of what sex should be are often warped and their partners often report that they are asked to act out porn scripts or do things they’re not comfortable with or find demeaning. 

In interviews with college-age women, writer Naomi Wolf has found that in sexual relationships, women frequently feel that “they can never measure up, that they can never ask for what they want.” 

And the emotional pain can run much deeper than having a bad experience in the bedroom. Since women in our culture typically expect their intimate relationships to be built on trust, respect, honesty, and love, when a woman learns that her partner is using porn—which typically glorifies the opposite: disrespect, abuse, aggression, and infidelity—it can not only damage the trust she has in her partner, but also shake the foundation of everything she believed about her relationship. 

That pain can have very serious consequences. Several studies have found that women often report feeling loss, betrayal, mistrust, devastation, and anger when they learn that their partner in a committed relationship has been using porn.  Many women show physical symptoms of anxiety and depression. Some show signs of PTSD, and some even become suicidal. 

To make matters worse, the majority of women who learn of a partner’s pornography use isolate themselves at least somewhat from their normal sources of social support, just when they need those support systems most. In many cases, women fear telling anyone at all, either because they’re embarrassed about it or they’re afraid of being blamed for their partner’s problem. 

For many partners, the blame can even come from themselves. One study of women in relationships with porn addicts found that while the women often felt their partner was uncaring or selfish, they also worried that somehow the problem was their fault. And for many of the women, their partner’s porn use made them feel like the entire relationship was a complete farce. 

This post is taken from the website, http://www.fightthenewdrug.org

Citations to support the statements in this post are available upon request.  



0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Rules for commenting:

    1.  Be respectful  
    2.  Refer to rule #1

    All comments may not be approved.

    Note that many identifying details about individuals in these posts are not accurate.  Their identity is protected, except for those individuals who are being honored or are public figures.

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Categories

    All
    Abortion
    Abraham
    Abstinence
    Abuse
    Accountability
    Adam
    Adam Yauch
    Addictions
    Admiration
    Adultery
    Affair
    Amos
    Angels
    Anger
    Anniversary
    Anoint
    Anonymous
    Anxiety
    Atheism
    Avoidant
    Bad Boy
    Battle
    Beastie Boys
    Beautiful
    Bestiality
    Betrayal
    Bird
    Blame
    Bobby Petrino
    Bondage
    Book Review
    Brian Head Welch
    Brothel
    B.T. Roberts
    Camping
    Cancer
    Challenge
    Change
    Chaotic
    Character
    Children
    Choice
    Christmas
    Church
    Church Camp
    Closed Door
    Compulsions
    Confession
    Confident
    Control
    Courage
    Covenant
    Creator
    Crown
    Crucifixion
    Darkness
    Death
    Deception
    Decision
    Demons
    Depression
    Detachment
    Devotions
    Dez Bryant
    Differences
    Dilemma
    Dirty
    Discipleship
    Disgusting
    Divorce
    Domestic Violence
    Domination
    Doubt
    Dreams
    Dr Hart8bb80a7b00
    Dwayne Allen
    Dysfunction
    Easter
    Eden
    Ego
    Eleazar
    Elitism
    Empty
    Envy
    Ephesians
    Equality
    Erectile Dysfunction
    Esau
    Eternity
    Euthanasia
    Evil
    Exhibitionism
    Eyes
    Facebook
    Faithfulness
    Fantasy
    Fasting
    Father
    Favorites
    Fear
    Fellatio
    Fighting
    Fishing
    Flashing
    Flattery
    Flesh
    Force
    Forgiveness
    Gentleman
    Girls Gone Wild
    G.K. Chesteron
    Goals
    God
    Good Friday
    Grace
    Gratitude
    Greek
    Guard
    Guilt
    Heart
    Heaven
    Hebrew
    Hell
    Henri Nouwen
    Histrionic
    Hogging
    Holiness
    Hollow
    Honesty
    Honor
    Hope
    Humility
    Humor
    Ichabod
    Idols
    Impurity
    Individuality
    Input
    Insane Clown Posse
    Integrity
    Intent
    Intimacy
    Isaac
    Islam
    Jack Schaap
    Jamaica
    Jealousy
    Jimmy Needham
    Job
    Joy
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    Judgmentalism
    Justice
    Kindness
    King David
    Kittens
    Komboloib7e292a311
    Korn
    Larry Norman
    Leave It To Beaver
    Lies
    Light
    Listening
    Loneliness
    Love
    Lust
    Lying
    Macho
    Manners
    Marriage
    Masculinity
    Masturbation
    Maturity
    Mca
    Meditation
    Messianic
    Meticulous
    Mighty
    Missions
    Money
    Monogamy
    Moses
    Motivations
    Movies
    Music
    Normal
    Obedience
    Obscenity
    Open Door
    Parenting
    Passiveaggressive2ed940c88b
    Pastor
    Path
    Perfection
    Personality Disorders
    P.O.D.
    Politics
    Pornography
    Pornograpy
    Power
    Practical
    Prayer
    Predator
    Prejudice
    Premature Ejaculaton
    Preparation
    Pride
    Problems
    Promises
    Protection
    Providence
    Purity
    Quechua
    Quiz
    Racism
    Regret
    Religious
    Repentance
    Reputation
    Research
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Rest
    Resurrection
    Revival
    Righteousness
    Robots
    Roughhousing
    Routine
    Rules
    Rut
    Sabbath
    Sacrifice
    Sadism
    Salvation
    Sanctification
    Satisfaction
    Selfishness
    Self Love
    Self-love
    Service
    Sex
    Sexism
    Sexuality
    Sexual Response
    Sexual Response
    Shame
    Sin
    Singing
    Snobbery
    Soldier
    Sovereignty
    Stalking
    Stephen Hawking
    Step-parenting
    Strong
    Success
    Succubus
    Suicide
    Swearing
    Sword
    Teenagers
    Temper
    Temptation
    Tenth Ave North
    Testing
    Theology
    Thinking
    Thomas Cogswell Upham
    Tim Tebow
    Tournament Male
    Tradition
    Trafficking
    Trapped
    Trauma
    Triggers
    Trust
    Truth
    U2
    Uncle Buddy
    Unity
    Violence
    Virtue
    Vulnerability
    Warrior
    Watchman Nee
    Waywardness
    What Is A Man
    Women
    Worry
    Worship
    Wussification
    Year In Review
    Zombies

    Archives

    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

IRONSTRIKES

Men Forging Men